My mother hammered this into my head when I was a kid. That my relationships with people throughout my life wouldn't be healthy or go anywhere if I couldnt make the best relationships with my own kin. Took me years to realize just how right she was.

What you call "romantic love" is what I would call "dramatic love". One of the main lessons I've given to the young adults I've mentored over the years is that "true love" feels entirely ordinary. There is no drama, just caring about each other and having each other's back. Drama works great in movies and stories, but it totally screws up human relationships. Pretty much the same as gun fights are a lot of fun in movies, but they really screw up human relationships.

@twilightknight2333

Жыл бұрын

1 Corinthians 13:4-8: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

@Anonymous30174

Жыл бұрын

What Hollywood provides is dramatic love it's not romantic love there's nothing wrong with romantic love as long as it includes love in it romance if it excludes love it's just sex narrowed down to being just lust which in the bible is one of the 7 deadly sins along with envy narcissism, jealousy, greed selfishness, and gluttony.

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

@@twilightknight2333 Sounds romantic but not dramatic to me.

@twilightknight2333

Жыл бұрын

@@SaneAsylum there is no such thing as romantic or dramatic love, these are words created for theater and theatrics.

@dreamer2260

Жыл бұрын

I would definitely not say that "true love" (i.e. 'real', strong romantic love) feels entirely ordinary. Quite the opposite in fact. Anyone who has ever fallen in love with someone, and had that reciprocated, knows that it's one of the most extraordinary experiences. I see what you're saying generally, but disagree on this point.

2.39 where's the other 3 and a half hours.

@dubbula

Жыл бұрын

That took a while to get through 🤣

Romance in novels and movies is nothing like reality. Romantic relationships in real life run into things like boredom, duty, repetitiveness, and temptation outside the relationship. I've rarely seen any romantic fantasy books or movies where these matters are seriously portrayed in the way they happen in real life. I believe that's done on purpose because that's part of what makes it a fantasy.

@oldgamesinvestigator7852

Жыл бұрын

@RubyTwoBears No, literally everyone faces this. Of course it is your responsibility once you recognize it to do something about it.

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

@@oldgamesinvestigator7852 And thus we see the problem with arrogance and projection. It closes the mind off to what is actually possible.

@maddockemerson4603

Жыл бұрын

That’s part of why _The Princess Bride_ is so good. The true love of the main characters comes from basically living together for a long time. She realizes that he’s in love with her not through some big exciting dramatic moment, but through a completely boring everyday occurrence. “Wesley, can you hand me that thing?” [long, meaningful stare] “… As you wish”

My mom's motto is "if he's a good son, he'll be a good father and a good husband" and I wish I was that hopeful but from time to time I see that interchangeably men and women fail themselves to maintain healthy relationships even tho they "succeed" at being good children to their parents, I guess the first good relationship they need to have is with themselves and then it'll all reflect onto their relationship with others

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

Many abusive sons are beloved by their mothers so it just doesn't work that way.

@lastmanstanding7155

Жыл бұрын

I'd say generally you can tell. It's the same as watching how they treat strangers or waiters. But seeing their personal realtionships like with parents is definitely a good insight into them. Would I base marriage off this? No. But if I'm dating them I'm probably already looking at these things.

Falling in "love" when you first meet someone is really more falling in lust with an idealized "best" person that each person is presenting to each other, at the beginning. Or I call it being in the Golden Glow. I believe this is what is called romantic love. It's fantastic and exciting and each person is on their best behavior, but it is not fully based on a picture of the whole person. But after about 6 months, the reality sets in and the whole person starts to emerge, warts and all. This is why when the couple gets physically involved before the whole person emerges, one can find themselves with what can be a severely damaged person. This is why in the "old days", a couple would do a courtship for up to a year and then, if each person has been shown to each other and their families that their are compatible and not too messed up, they would then marry and finally consecrate their union on their wedding night. And if their "romantic Love", beginning in their Golden Glow, has matured into a love based in who they are in their wholeness, sharing that love with each, with commitment and true courage based in the courage of real "kindness", it can be a love that will last a life time. Sure, it wasn't perfect, but the dating "market" of today is really more of a meat market that is a "desecration" of what can and should be sacred. And one does not need to believe in God, which I now do, to simply wait six months before getting physically involved with someone. At least find out if one simply likes the whole person that emerges, let alone truly loves them.

On an unrelated note: gurl, the way you do your lipstick looks fricking amazing, it contrasts very well with your pale skin

I think you're right, this idea that love has to constantly be romantic and feel like a Disney movie or else it's not enough just really ends up giving people these warped ideas of what love should be. In my experience, it was the relationships that turned out to be the most toxic which "swept me off my feet" and looked more like the typical romance story at the start. I'm happily married and my relationship absolutely didn't start like that, for better or worse. I think real love in a romantic relationship sort of creeps up on you over time as you get to know the person and it's much harder to get bored with a relationship like that. And that kind of love feels like just love, not something distinct from every other kind of love in your life, even though it gets expressed differently.

@TroySpace

Жыл бұрын

@RubyTwoBears they did say "in my experience".

@js7934

Жыл бұрын

@RubyTwoBears "In my experience" doesn't mean "every woman's experience". Glad you can read.

@hm3029

Жыл бұрын

@RubyTwoBears Found the Vaush fan

Look up how the Greek language had different words for the various types of Love, like Aggape vs Eros vs Phillia. 🤪

This is exactly what I'm exploring in my current novel: the male lead slowly moves out of survival mode and starts learning humanity, while building trust and love with the female lead.

@agentbullwinkle991

Жыл бұрын

There's also dragons, Elves, dwarves, orc tribes, dryads, conglomerates, conspiracies, lifted Chevy trucks, guns, missiles, Magic Missiles, Rocky Mountain doubles, moonshine, sunshine, oil fields, and treasure-troven volcanoes... ...but the theming is gonna be Authenticity vs the anti-theme of Superficiality

@agentbullwinkle991

Жыл бұрын

@RubyTwoBears I didn't know that was a thing. Shit, I need to get on that!

@Rick_Cleland

9 ай бұрын

@@agentbullwinkle991 Dwarves!? DWARVES!!? *_DWARVES!!??_*

I would always recommend reading C S Lewis "The Four Loves". He goes a lot into the dangers of the kid of dramatic romantic fantasy and excitement of "Falling in love". Granted from an explicitly Christian perspective but a lot of wisdom in that echoing I think what you are saying here.

@lunalee3021

Жыл бұрын

I highly recommend that book as well.

So many quotable observations in little less than 3 min. You’re on fire in this one. I’m probably wrong, but I think this mystique of “romantic relationships are easier than other relationships” partially comes from the glorification of sex. I’ve lost count of how many times, in “romantic” stories, when the couple are arguing/having a rocky moment, the sentence “at least we’ll slways have this (sex)” shows up. As if, just because sex can sometimes seem to work “instinctually/intuitively”, it will salvage a relationship (spoiler alert: overtime, as soon as the initial thrill has worn out, you also have to work on sex)

@lunalee3021

Жыл бұрын

This is why I don't read adult books, I don't get why every scene has to start/be about/end with sex? It's just freaking weird

I suppose fundamentally it's about categorisation. Is "romantic love" under the love umbrella, or is it adjacent to it as something else? I think it's the former. How you expressed, and had love expressed towards you, will heavily influence how you love romantically in the future. I think that's why people that come from tumultuous family backgrounds love anxiously. Their love becomes fragile. Likewise, if you were loved wholesomely, you likely go on to love wholesomely, too. (Correlation not causation, obviously, but I think there's something there).

Isn't it amazing how much genuine wisdom looks so obvious when you take a step back and think about it, but is so easy to miss when you're in the midst of daily life? Time outs are so important for our emotional and psychological health.

I think that romantic love is usually in a category of its own because it is often confused with lust. Especially in this modern day and age where, for example in entertainment, any other form of love is always interpreted as confirmation of lust. In that specific example even familial love isn't free of this pathological conflation.

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

The irony of the modern age is that sex usually comes way before intimacy. People sleep around but then are floored by somebody saying "I love you."

Romance is nice, but it's also kind of fantasy. you have to be able to find the romance in all things. Like getting through a tough patch, them bringing the shopping home, you partner being their typical self and enjoying that, getting out of your comfort zone etc. I think men struggle here because we're often expected to hold this kind of consistent standard of romance. If we don't then we can basically say goodbye to intimacy in the relationship, and it will largely be thought of as our fault. Honestly, if romantic gestures were more of a two way street (tbf, I do see more women these days being romantic, but it's still way less than I see men) I think people would see that side of the relationship in tact. But until then, it seems like a relationship will last only about as long as a man can be milked for his emotions (to be clear I'm not talking about fuck boys or players, liars or toxic people, just men who are trying to commit)

You make yourself perfectly well understood. The Greeks knew this well. They had a variety of terms for different expressions of love, from Eros to Filia. Love manifestes at different levels, the physical, the emotional, the mental, and the spiritual. It's the same energy, but expressed in varying frequencies. Love (no pun intended) your point about Love being something we need to get good at in different types of relationships. I actually find that to be quite an important point you raise. Since Love is Love we can practice it in all our relationships, thereby becoming better at Love in general. Thanks for the mind vitamin ✌️💙

Love is not the pursuit of pleasurable stimuli, but rather the desire for internal satisfaction that is achieved by caring for others, which is best fulfilled through different familial roles that must be learned. People who think love is the pursuit of pleasure will not experience healthy relationships.

When my wife and I met we were both over the moon immediately and still are decades and masses of children later. People used to tell us that we wouldn't act like this forever but we're still showing them otherwise. It isn't that real love isn't swoon-worthy romance, it is that real romance is rooted in the same principles that good relationships are built from. The things we define as romantic prove this out well. If you aren't willing to lay your life on the alter of romance, you wont, and consequently you wont really have it. Of course you can have a great room-mate relationship and most people are quite happy with that. Some of us though (the kind that die minutes apart) choose not to live without the other. In any way.

@britneyt9253

Жыл бұрын

Hi just curious, when you say that real romance is rooted in the same principles that good relationships are built from, can you please expand? What are some examples of these principles that you’ve noticed and do how the show up in both romantic and non romantic relationships?

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

@@britneyt9253 I think you took what I wrote a little different than how I intended, but there certainly are many of the same principles even in non-romantic relationships. My point was that what makes a good romance (novel/movie etc...) is the same as what makes a good (romantic) relationship. Romance is noticing the little things and doing the little things and also the big grand gestures ala Romeo and Juliet willing to die for each other. Remembering flowers or a favorite food or color or restaurant or meal (ordering for them because you know them so well). Standing in the pouring rain giving up your umbrella/comfort. Letting your arm stay numb rather than stir her awake. Carrying her across the mud puddle. Calling just because. But also defending her honor or life even if it means putting yourself in harms way in an immediate sense or in a defensive war to keep the wolves at bay. It means taking her burdens as your own and lifting her up for as long as it takes for her to walk strong on her own or even to always stand together as one when maybe that means pushing her or carrying her everywhere she goes if she is a paraplegic, or seeing for her if she is blind etc... All of the principles behind those gestures have corollaries in platonic relationships. Gangs and certain religions require fidelity. Most friendships require a certain honesty. They all require some sacrifice. Virtues are virtues for a reason. Romance comes when such virtues are put to their highest best evolutionary use forming a bond strong enough to build a legacy. Gene Stratton-Porter did perhaps the best job of putting the pieces together in print in a way that makes clear what a man and a woman should be.

Just finished watching the full edition of this video and it was such a beautiful story. Can’t wait to rewatch the clips and parts you release again :) feels like remembering the wisdom I grew up hearing as if growing up made me forget what once seemed so obvious. Love your work Galatea!! ❤️❤️❤️

We need to remember that there is a passion in peace. Have more shows where relationships last. Remember that the goal should be life long for most people. I've experienced the romantic roller coaster, and I can say I really hate it. I have something that has lasted over 10 years now, and I can say I truly prefer that passion in peace.

I think a lot of shows and movies set up false expectations of what romance is, not really showing all aspects of it and instead providing a happy-go-lucky vision because that's pleasant for a story. In real life there's effort and selflessness involved to care for the other, not everything just happening to work out perfect. In the opposite extreme, I think the real people out there who are in bad relationships (whether they contributed to it themselves or got sucked into it) also set up a false expectation for others. There are less young adults are getting married and having children now than at any other point in history probably. Bad relationships portray commitment and responsibility are bad things for something that is doomed to fail anyway, suggesting the idea of having a relationship to be miserable and futile. It requires work from both ends and both man and woman need to be genuine with each other. You can have an ideal set of standards that you want your future spouse to be but you need to be just as ideal for them in return, so it's a matter of bettering yourself. That includes like you said, having good relationships with family because they're the closest people in your life. If you can't get along with them then how are you going to get along with a close partner? Be the best version of yourself you can be, know your self-worth but don't be snotty, sincerely care for your spouse.

"Only Love Can Hurt Like This" I tell myself you don't mean a thing And what we got, got no hold on me But when you're not there, I just crumble I tell myself I don't care that much But I feel like I die 'til I feel your touch Only love, only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt like this Must have been a deadly kiss Only love can hurt like this Say I wouldn't care if you walked away But every time you're there, I'm begging you to stay And when you come close I just tremble And every time, every time you go It's like a knife that cuts right to my soul Only love, only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt like this Must have been a deadly kiss Only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt like this Your kisses burn into my skin Only love can hurt like this But it's the sweetest pain Burning hot through my veins Love is torture makes me more sure Only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt like this Must have been a deadly kiss Only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt like this Your kisses burn into my skin Only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt like this Only love can hurt Save me, save me Only love, only love 'Cause only love can hurt like this And it must have been a deadly kiss

You should definitely post more excerpts out of the big one!

Love the idea of these short form videos. It allows you to cover subjects that long form videos would be too much for.

I always reasoned that true romantic love would be as much as you would have for your children, and be unconditionaal like that and with the freedom to let them be who they are. You don't smother them, restrict them, give up on them, abandon them, or let them walk all over, after all that's why marrige is becomeing a family.

I always wondered if seeing a unrealistic relationships in movies would help me with relationships in real life cause most of the times (not every film) romance movies and novels don’t come to have basic boundaries at some point but they want to break free which satisfies the audiences, and I think these films continuesly shows these fantasy things cause it’s what’s the audience wants (including myself 😬).

Ya well, sometimes you feel it in your gut that you need to make your intentions clear with someone but you decide to take your sweet time, because the attraction you feel with that person is too great to ignore - and you want to do it right this time. And then a tall, shaggy 'romantic' pops in with a rose & spends the night with that person you wanted to share your life with. All because of this "illusionary romantic love"

Families really do play such an important role in ones love life. The idea that romantic love is different from familial love is just dumb because how you expect to be treated by, and how you treat, your SO is almost always a reflection on how your parents treated each other, and the type of people your older siblings had as SOs. In a way, familial love shapes your romantic love, which then becomes more like a familial love over time that, thru children, breeds more familial love, which will once again shape romantic lives, and so on and so on.

@littlecaesars4860

Жыл бұрын

Agree

@thomasray

Жыл бұрын

Love the Bridge Four profile pic

@TheEccentricPoet

Жыл бұрын

Very respectfully but strongly disagree, since I think that would be discounting the vast number of folks for which that isn't the case. The idea that we should judge our potential partners by their families when their families could be crap, through no fault of their own, is such a sad ”sins of the father visited on the child” idea imho, and one that would actually create more isolation of individuals over time, in favor of a more and more increasingly insular society where basically only families decide who their kids can be with. A similar thing happened in the US antebellum south with "debutantes" and believe it or not is still going on to some extent even in this day and age.

@oakuvalentine7734

Жыл бұрын

@@thomasray ty! Fantasy fan yourself?

@oakuvalentine7734

Жыл бұрын

@@TheEccentricPoet I agree with what you're saying. Def not what I meant tho. What I mean by my comment, is that the types of relationships we are exposed to in our upbringing have subconscious affects on what we deem appropriate and inappropriate in romantic and casuals relationships. I def don't think we should go around judging potential partners by the quality of their domestic relationships, lmao. I've seen my father do little things that have turned his marriage into a rather sour one over time. Things that my friends don't even think about when considering a partner, and things that I will never do to my SO, nor ever accept being done to me from a SO. Its only because of my exposure to those things that I'm even aware of them, tbh. And that is a clear example of my previous comment. Actually, my father isn't even married, my mother never wanted to get married because her parents divorced many times, thus she didn't believe in the significance of it, another example. Bad relationships in the family doesn't mean bad relationships for you, in fact, being exposed to a struggling relationship can help one identify the problems in their own (which we're all bound to have), romantic or not.

Ooh I like the short shareable tidbits, thank you for uploading!

I do get what you're saying. Love is all connected, of course it is - romantic love is the desire to take a step down the path of creating/extending familial love. We don't always think of it that way, because the impulses can be independent of that goal - I don't look at a hot woman and think "I can't wait to raise our grandchildren" or maybe I do... Anyway, yes, of course it's all related - love is the epicenter of kindness, devotion, sacrifice, heroism, and all the most impressive war crimes.

Love is a mix of loyalty, lust and reason.

I appreciate the length of the video. Still struggling with the last one!

and here I was thinking the title was talking about high fantasy romance novels which had me confused.

You’re glowing Babe! Love the eye makeup 💅🏻

I need an Authentic Observer/Little Platoon crossover.

great stuff! In my opinion love, at its simplest definition, is commitment to the wellbeing/flourishing of someone or something. this is regress of how you feel in the moment.

Yes, of course, you're right! Another thing that people is forgetting is that the "romantic" love, when really works out, becomes the "family" love. =] Love is one.

Love. I feel the best way to describe it as the care for another that is enough to put their well being as high as your own well being.

Love is constant work and sacrifice

I love this and I feel like there's a lot of especially younger people that need to hear it

If there are lovers that treat each other as less than friends, then to me, it gives "love" a bad name. And if lovers are friends, I'm not sure what more is needed: I trust that they will treat one another well. I get that sex makes things different, and is especially treasured and intimate; What I mean is that if lovers are friends, if they truly treat one another as friends, (sex to the side,) then I do not worry about their relationship. Whatever the needs for sex are, and how that plays out in the realization of their lives, if they are friends, if they treat one another as friends, then I trust that they have one another's back.

Cool! I would love a short of the "wet panini" bit. That made me laugh so much :)

I interrupted my Critical Role marathon for this. Few other creators could make that happen.

@TroySpace

Жыл бұрын

See. This is what happens when you crit on the initiative roll. Critical Role also helped me through when my wife and I were living in two different cities.

@Xiatter

Жыл бұрын

@@TroySpace It's gotten me through a few things and made life better overall. I see you, fellow Critter. Or Critical Role fan, if you aren't fond of the title.

@TroySpace

Жыл бұрын

@@Xiatter Critter is fine by me :). I did stop watching when we moved back together, there's a whole lot of anime out there to get through. But it's still a great inspiration for DMs, aspiring writers and such.

Fantasy and realistic in the same sentence?! I don't think so chief

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

That's like saying that where people vacation, other people cannot live.

I always think that someone who treats their parents badly is gonna make terrible spouse.

There are languages where they have completely different words for the different kinds of love. So in atleast some cultures the different kinds of love are seen as removed from eachother.

You are absolutely right, it's too difficult and just an annoyance long run. Thats why casual monogamy based on sex is the way to go. You have fun time for a while, don't fuck around because diseases and when it gets too difficult you shake hands and wish each other luck.

I agree, and would even go as far as to say that love IS our duty, and that we get better at it the more we do it.

Love is a Process, akin to a Verb, NOT a Noun or any form of attribute.

This may sound ... off-putting for most people, but I have almost always based my idea of love on the biblical definition: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." The feeling of love, while having its place, does not match in fortitude to relationships built on a foundation of the above definition of love. Love may "express" itself in different ways with different people, but that is the feeling only. I'm sure you realize that feelings are only at the surface level of life, because they are affected by the slightest of surface level events and circumstances. I'm not saying that they are not affected by harsh realities or major crises, of course they are. I simply mean that the truest expressions of love are the acts we perform to demonstrate it; i.e., the patience we show our children, the kindness we show our spouse, the way in which we honour our parents, the hope and trust we show for one another as human beings. I know, it sounds like a religious argument for love in action, but for me, it's just the way I see it.

The real problem is people are told that is how love works. Separating reality from fiction is a must.

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

Love is fairly cut and dried. The feelings surrounding it and what people do for it however are not. It is rather easy to see a relationship and say "Oh he loves you so much. You guys are so cute!" or "He doesn't love you. He is using you." Because we all know what love is and isn't instinctually. In similar manner gang members don't have to take a class or have a printed rule book to know not to rat each other out or abandon what is expected of them. People know that love is mutually supportive.

On the topic of love I’d highly recommend “The Four Loves” by CS Lewis.

Romance is no illusion; it's powerful and enjoyable, when it's real and reciprocated. The issue is finding someone on your wavelength, and at your emotional maturity to exercise it properly.

@Dopaaamine27

9 ай бұрын

Come back to reality dude.

Red looks great on you

@chrisstewart1999

Жыл бұрын

anything looks great on her.

@AtlasAdvice254

Жыл бұрын

@@chrisstewart1999 agreed

Yes! They are! I believe!!!

Having no experience with what love feels like, I have just assumed that they are similar feelings in a familial relationship and romantic one. I don't really see how they could be different, since I assume it has to due with liking someone in some measure. Whenever I ask people the difference between loving a friend or family as opposed to wanting to be in relationship with someone, all they can tell me is that it involves sexual feelings. Maybe I ask the wrong people, but it really doesn't help me to know that there is only one thing changing your experience from that of one as a friend to one as a romantic partner, especially if the difference does or will not ever apply (I know this is most likely not true, but it's frustrating to hear it). Things like this being why I don't have people who are interested in me, or I them, presumably.

Some people don't know what love means, so they mistake passion for it. You shouldn't have passion for family.

Because people use the term "love" to avoid using words such as "sex, sexual desire, sexual attraction etc." therefore creating ambiguity and also causing actual meaning of the word to change.

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

Thus the perversion of the term "making love" which used to mean forming a relationship rooted in love and has come to mean having sex. Language though is driven by the base. It is slang that bastardizes language and forces it to change. Look at practically every new word added to the dictionary practically every year.

I feel like this is why it's a good idea for children to have siblings so they can practice compromising, tolerating, etc.

there is a feeling of enjoying one another’s company, and also a feeling of enjoying physical contact and sexuality together, and neither of those things is enough to signify love. love involves a level of unsefishness that allows the loved person to feel safe and know that their lover is looking out for their interests and watching their backs in a non-physical way. very selfish people do not understand love because they do not understand not being selfish, imo. when two people disagree and are in the middle of an argument and they are both selfish, then there is an expectation that things might end. when a selfish person has sex, their partner might feel uncared for or even unsafe. two people in an unselfish relationship need not fear that an argument will end the relationship or that they will be abused during sex. that last bit is my opinion obviously, and i accept that some people are quite abusive in their lovemaking, and the consequences of that are for you to deal with. intimacy and abuse rarely go together healthfully. well, that got a bit preachy, but there you have it.

Romantic love/lust is like fire. It belongs in the fireplace of marriage. Outside the fireplace, it will burn your house down.

True love is inextricably intertwined with duty. True love is grand promises made to build a life together, and then keeping those promises. And they're kept. And they're kept forever still. There is no "true love" without duty, and responsibility, and intention, fidelity and steadfastness, filial piety, and forbearance. Righteousness. Love without virtue, after all, is much too sinister to ever be called "true".

The twist in all of this is that the people who are compatible with true love feel alienated by the supposed "romantic love" that has become fashionable.

You mentioned the quote "To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape." I feel like that's a possible John Milton reference. But since, as prachett would agree, angels are man made, or in as well, couldnt those words also point to the angels in us all? In which case the quote would agree we're human's evolving in as well as divinity gone awry, Fallen angels. I think that's what love is. The meta-ethical and do-entological between the reality and certain fantasticity in the higher qualities of mankind and those immediately around us, not their abnegation one or the other. In which case I'd prefer to fight reasonable God than be an ape, as ironically I'd rather see a miracle. Life is too precious for it to be lived in vain.

I couldn’t agree more!!! I live with my Mother & Father because he has crippling agoraphobia & my My Mother has a brain condition were she will randomly just fall unconscious. Every girl I’ve gone out with in the last 3-4 years has in the end, been unable to handle the fact that I cannot give them the attention they think they deserve. And that may even be true. But it is what it is I’m afraid!!!

Short answer no. Long answer ⬆️

Love is, more than anything else, a responsibility, so totally agree :) But you know what helps with romantic love? Dem freckles. Love them.

She should it into a books, love and humanity is a good title. It is a good book

Ultimately, this is why C.S Lewis defined four loves, but each one is love at the end of the day. To boil your concept down to its simplest form: Nothing worthwhile is ever easy. Easy things bore me, to the point of extreme tedium (where I just mentally check out) and leave me wondering what the hell the point of it all is (answer: none). For a relationship to mean anything whatsoever, it would presumably have to be worthwhile, otherwise what is the point? You're not only wasting your own time but someone else's and to do so is both selfish and stupid. If you love someone, you consider their needs and your own and figure out how best for you both to live together and deal with the hardships of life together (moreso when children are involved) as well as savouring and creating lasting happiness (along with also the raising of children, which is in itself something that requires a lot of figuring out because for example, you'd want to raise your children well but children are notoriously rebellious and resistant so you would need to figure out ways of guiding your child down the correct path while also letting them make their own decisions and life choices, both guiding them and arming them for the challenges ahead. Not only that but your child is not you and therefore is their own person with their own autonomy which needs to be considered. There were a few girls I knew growing up whose mothers did not understand this and raised them to be extensions of themselves to live vicariously via...). This is why the decision is not one to be made lightly. Fantasies are all well and good, but aren't particularly useful and typically can end up leading you astray or forgetting priorities without solid reality checking. There is a balance to be struck ultimately when it comes to considering either your needs or other people's, and an imbalance in either direction is unhealthy (either you become dangerously self-centred and narcissistic or dangerously self-destructive... actually no, _both_ are self-destructive ultimately and both are destructive) just like any imbalance in a relationship is prone to cause naught but misery. This should honestly all be obvious even to children, the fact it isn't just shows how warped, absurd and morally infirm modern society is...

Hi, first time watching... What is that stare you're doing in you're profile pic? Kinda sus.

people focus more on a Selfish version of love than a selfless love. For example making a sandwich for your partner should not be an issue but if you ask a lot of women they will have a negative replay to it like they never thought of the idea of doing something for someone that would incontinence them very slightly

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

Few people will ever know what the combination of two selfless people engrossed in each other's happiness produces. The idea that anything else could understand it, let alone compete with it is as laughable as anything is conceivable.

My dad once asked how you can have a good relationship with a heavenly father if you cant have a good relationship with your father on earth. Same thing. I would also like you to explore the concept of commitment. People seem to commit very easily to corporations but are unable to commit to family and to a partner. What's up with that?

Same in my family.

A sub 3:00 video from Galetea? What is this chicanery?

I used to think my mom was insane for thinking my sister was gonna prepare me for my wife and here I am.

@britneyt9253

Жыл бұрын

Curious, how do you find that your sister prepared you for your wife?

@ThePaintballer1994

Жыл бұрын

@@britneyt9253 I think it’s just a “treat the women around you nicely as practice” kinda thing. Still gave her shit though lol

you look pretty in this video

IMO Romance is a tactic not a brand of love. People get it mixed because when romance burgeons in an innocent mind the two cross. It is possible to use romance to express love, but then it matters how sincere you are before it approaches a virtue, and not a manipulation for carnal gain.

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

That is like saying that nobody is actually good because charlatans and Lotharios pretend to be good for selfish purposes. The fact that there exists something for them to pretend to be well illustrates that it exists in isolation of the act.

@poetfrost

Жыл бұрын

@@SaneAsylum That example is a little out there. From my standpoint, goodness exists so long as there is the option to hurt people and a person not only chooses not to but they choose to be helpful but if goodness is enforced it no longer is good. That subject has nothing to do with the tactic of romance.

I think romantic love is not real, in the same sense as how in physics centrifugal force is not a real force but an illusion created by a series of other real forces acting together to create that feeling of being pulled away from the center. Romantic love is the feeling created by the cumulative effects of many different types of actual behaviors working together (genuine concern, kindness, unity, intimacy, commitment, honesty, etc.).

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

I think you proved yourself right and wrong. Romantic love is having your needs met so fully that it is almost disorienting. It is exclusive to a relationship that can hit every spot. It is real so long as it is defined correctly. Love is real not that it can be proved in scientific terms (though the effects of it can be seen). I feel like a little kid robbing the cookie jar and feel like I have been in up to my shoulder for so long that it is positively miraculous that it just keeps going. The cookies never run out and I never get sick of them. It is no less real with love as cookies.

Love is not for everyone

makes sense to me

I think it's a distinct subcategory for a reason. How can I form a solid relationship if "I just love everyone" and they're not special? Also birthrates. I'm like the foremost Romantic alive, winner of the Passage Prize and a bunch of stuff. I would love to record a podcast with you.

@britneyt9253

Жыл бұрын

Hi, just curious if you could please expand on your point. I guess, what makes romantic love “special” as you said, that it remains in a distinct subcategory?

@kingsalmonfish8889

Жыл бұрын

@@britneyt9253 The cool part is I really don't know what it is. But it has served me better than anything I've ever seen from the entire internet, so it's proven itself to be incredibly significant even crossing into inexpressibility.

I always thought that dramatic romances when the people don't even really know each other always seemed similar to drug addicts trying to get high

she clearly doesn't have much insight to how brutally agonizing and straight up terrorizing some familial relationships can be. sometimes cutting ties is the only option to save your own sanity.

If you don't love your partner beyond the "whirlwind romance", you might not even like them later on. Better to have a more solid foundation, imo.

@SaneAsylum

Жыл бұрын

"Whirlwind romance" is a feeling that does not preclude a solid foundation. My wife and I were engaged on our second date. That's a whirlwind. But it was built on so many mutual beliefs and ideas that we were both committed to and to each other. Here's the dirty little secret. Love is hard, without those feelings it is all but impossible. Without the spark, there isn't a fire. You can be civil roommates forever but eventually a spark will come along and one of you will burn with another and that will be that. That spark is produced when our needs are being met all at once. Without that it dies. It may die fast or it may die slow in atrophy, but it will die.

It is if you’re me. 😎

As far as the internet is concerned romance is dead

Not with that thumbnail, I know what she's doing...

Since I started working in the women's refuge as a volunteer, my concept of romance, love, and relationships has changed a lot. There is a lot of movies, tv show even personal relationships of people close to me that really make me remember some of the things the women there have lived.

Bingo!

Romance novels have made me so numb towards realistic romantic gesture

Fantasy and reality, as far as I'm concerned, are more or less antithetical, so the short answer is no, nor any other kind of fantasy. My thoughts about fantasy draw heavily from some definitions from Classical and Renaissance literary criticism, like Sir Philip Sidney's _Defence of Poesy_ and the Italian Jacopo Mazzoni's works: fantasy is a quality of artifice that strains or contradicts credibility. The fantastical is defined in opposition to what these critics call 'icastic' (from a Greek word meaning 'representative, figurative'), which is unreal but based on reality and therefore credible. Living in fantasy leads to bad decisions in life because, to use Sidney's phrase, it '...doth contrariwise infect the fancy with unworthy objects'. Unworthy objects are the things people get easily attached too, and emotional attachment is a recipe for misery. It's a kind of idolatry, a search for meaningful fulfilment in an abyss of superficiality. Of course, Western notions of romantic love have strong origins in art and literature (Ovid, the troubadours and courtly love, Neoplatonic notions of spiritual ascent to name a few), but these qualities in some kind of moderation could meaningfully enrich relations in real life or in art. A lot of recent art and literature is excessively fantastical (not just romance) because, I think, the thrust of its fantastical quality comes from the hyper-vivid audio and video technology available. It has become 'hyper-real' (a term coined by the French philosopher Jean Baudrillard), meaning (as I understand it) fantasy that can easily pass for reality or something credible. I've lost my taste for a lot of recent fantasy and historical fiction for this reason, amongst other issues of bad writing.

Love is love? Nah

I'll answer this for you Between you and me Galatea I'd say Yes Yes it is

I have a duty to my wife because I love her.

A fantasy is by definition unrealistic, so no.

Western culture has definitely propagated some fantasies ( love being one in particular ) as fact for so long, that people believe them, and you have a horde of unhappy people wandering about that can't figure out why they are so miserable, because they were living their life with unrealistic expectations.

@lunalee3021

Жыл бұрын

I also think bizarre labels such as "asexuality" are extremely Western. It's only because there's such a bizarre idea of love in the first place. Now there are labels for people who don't go along with it. (Speaking as a girl who someone "suggested" might be part of that community for saying romance in YA books is shallow). People really do be pressured to stuff themselves in toxic boxes.

romantic love is very different from other loves. same goes to close friends or family. they are each very different from each-other and from my love of books or games. love is a word thrown out a lot, it incompeses many things. "i love vanila" is not even close to "i love you" and i may love a friend as much as i'd love a lover, but the type of love is different. a love for a close friend or family i would call logical, it requires knowing the person to love them. while loving a partner can be based on chemicals(hormonal) alone. "i love big butts and i cannot lie" 'love at first sight' can create just as strong of a bond as life-long companionships. many people have left their loving families for a sexy ginger or a charismatic man. all while claiming they 'love' them. the best relationship (imho) is one where there is a lot of the hormonal love, but with a lot more of the logical one. p.s from the way you speak of it, it feels to me like you have never experienced "true" love. and the "true" is in "" because the trueness is the feeling, not that it is mutual.

База

"Love expresses itself in different ways." This quote is key. Suggesting romantic love isn't a totally alien magical thing divorced from basic human relationships got me called "asexual" (hate that damn term) and "Mr. Darcy" or "someone who doesn't believe in love" as a teen (and more recently "insane"). People have such ridiculous unhealthy ideas about the point of romance. I'm not saying you can't express your love by being "cutesy" and romantic but that's never something you HAVE to do, because of a feeling that forces you to (obviously not saying feelings don't exist before some pea brain accuses me of that...again), if that makes sense. And there's nothing less meaningful about love if you don't ever express it romantically. It's not mandatory in every story or life situation just because two people are the opposite gender (or these days, just two people who exist). It's like people don't have any family or friends to see that. "The man who thinks every relationship is a disguise or expression of eros reveals the fact that he has never had a friend." - C. S. Lewis