Dont mistake our kindness for weakneas. ✔️

@INFJcircle

3 ай бұрын

Exactly! Jay

@zafrinrahman7005

2 ай бұрын

"Weakneas"💀

@hilarysvariety5839

Ай бұрын

​@@zafrinrahman7005LOL 😂

@Moshnui

27 күн бұрын

Erm,what a sigma😈😈😈😈😈😈😈👹👹👹👹😈👹💦😲😲😲😲

@sayusayme7729

26 күн бұрын

Absolutely

I got hired on with a new company, and management was pretty dishonest with me during the hiring process. When I called them out on it (privately first), they seemed to think I'd back down if they threatened me. I didn't. In the end, I took them to court, diposed every single one of them, and won at my state's Supreme Court (creating a new law). I think that surprised them. It definately wasn't a fun time on their side.

@yodoleheehoo90

4 ай бұрын

Are you able to say what corruption was exposed or law put into place? That sounds like a win for us INFJs!

@srp4551

4 ай бұрын

That is awesome! Good for you for having the courage to take a stand. Most people are cowards and that just makes their employers behave even worse.

@cc1k435

4 ай бұрын

​@jovnie I can completely see a new law being passed and NOT being widely discussed. 😂

@trocycling1204

4 ай бұрын

They hired me for one job, but then thought I was better suited for another job they couldn't fill. So, they switched my role before I started, without asking and before I quit my other job. It felt like a bait and switch, though that wasn't their view. They assumed I'd be OK with it, but I wasn't. They claimed my state's "right to work" gave them the right to do whatever they wanted. The lower courts thought that company had a point, so it was escalated.

@dannillebennett1761

4 ай бұрын

I'm sure you gave them every chance to disengage. I could write a book about situations like this playing out with employers, government officials, bullies, bullies and more bullies. Im glad you took it this far and won.

it's not the loud individuals you need to watch it's the quiets ones.

@DeeDeex007o

3 ай бұрын

We know all of their secrets. Even if they don't know that we know. OH but WE KNOW!

@user-fs6ou3fk9p

3 ай бұрын

I'm gone. I've been mistreated, and at 64, I no longer care. Good luck to others.

@rick3747

Ай бұрын

@@user-fs6ou3fk9p Good luck to you. I am 57. I would love to move on like you but I have a special needs child now 19. I need to be there for him. He has done nothing to harm me.

@nataliewarner1723

Ай бұрын

My grandma told me this when I was a child, this is so true 😊

@Kas_Styles

23 күн бұрын

💯💯💯

I had an INFJ rage one time, and I scared myself. Didn’t know I could be that angry and let lose on a bad person. I’m 74 now. Longtime INFJ 😊

@dannillebennett1761

4 ай бұрын

I have come accept this ability about myself.... it certainly frightens others and onlookers...

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Yeah, it can be really scary. I have done it quite a few times, but not in many years now. Thanks for sharing! Jay

@brennadickinson2920

3 ай бұрын

I think the Brits are confrontation-phobic and rely on passive aggression. They are not able to handle being called out. They ignore quiet assertiveness and keep pushing. I don't enjoy calling people out so if I have to, the relationship is already over.

@user-um3tl2vm8w

2 ай бұрын

Can you advice me and appreciate my efforts for this one year I want someone's support Can i share my daily routine to you? Because I want to do a government job but no one appreciate my thinking and supports me

@littledebby365

2 ай бұрын

@@user-um3tl2vm8w INFJs think for themselves. They will not appreciate your thinking, creativity, or support either of those! The government job is going to be an Epic Fail. Because in a government job you just have to get it done. To them it doesn't matter how, just get it done. To you it matters how. So there will always be that conflict. Good luck!

The first time someone told me I was intimidating, I was taken aback. I'm kind, helpful, considerate and fair. I also see through bullshit, don't back down and carry through with my intentions. I have a very "Don't Tread On Me" approach to life. The "herd" mentality is not for me, and that is my superpower.

@RomeoTango3

3 ай бұрын

Same here 😮

@Denebreus

3 ай бұрын

I get this a lot as well.

@sharontolbert1112

3 ай бұрын

YES!!!! I never understood why people would say I was intimidating, until I had to take the Bristol Myer Test for a promotion at work. It explained so much!

@chickenlizard2381

3 ай бұрын

Yeah I was floored

@KristiWilson

2 ай бұрын

Yes! I have been called abrasive.

About ghosting others especially. I do not need a visible excuse to vanish from someone's life entirely. I will play normal one day and just fully disappear the next. That's because I have concluded my research on someone's personality and motives. If someone is shady, they THINK they have me, but I have seen through them like an agent and let them go. In conclusion : I am nice but I have my eye on everyone. Everything is a test and if someone is a bad character... I never existed.

@CF.

3 ай бұрын

Holy smokes, I felt this in my bones. 💯 INFJ

@brennadickinson2920

3 ай бұрын

I'm not 'nice' but I put real effort into being good.

@Lyrielonwind

3 ай бұрын

​@@brennadickinson2920 I'm too nice and when I get too sick of someone's abuse I turn like terminator and then they try to guilt trip me saying " I didn't know you were like this" meaning "I thought you were weak ". I'm working on setting boundaries before I get too sick about someone's abuse. There are a whole bunch of entittled cover narcissists who turn from Jeckyll to míster Hyde in a hear beat.

@brennadickinson2920

3 ай бұрын

@@Lyrielonwind I care about people, but that doesn't mean I'm a doormat. I'm committed to standing up and walking away when I see that they want to subjugate me to their warped reality.

@dv52528

3 ай бұрын

​@@Lyrielonwindstory of my life😂

INFJ dismantle opponents: Last year I rented a cottage with a year-long lease. I was never late with rent & I also alerted the landlords to leaking in the laundry room & other issues, most of which they never addressed. After I moved out the landlords refused to give me the deposit back, had the call to ask me to pay an additional $1k “to return unit to like condition”. I proceeded to file a claim for return of my deposit. It took 6 months but I never wavered, I complied so much evidence against the landlords that even the judge commented on my “preponderance of evidence” that I submitted to court, and judge ruled in my favor. That was the best feeling. Those landlords were just digging in the kitty litter, trying to charge me for all kinds of frivolous and dumbfounded wear-and-tear.

@MsWillowish

3 ай бұрын

Well done you! Omg! This is happening to me now. So upset knew landlord well. Left the place immaculate. So upset such a peacemaker but now that’s it…slam…will not accept lies and injustice for me or anyone else! I object your honour! :)

@sj521

Ай бұрын

similar situation. It has devastated my good credit left my daughter and I unable to secure housing and ruined my reputation in county records for future references. All wrongly and the documentation is ironclad. I too have this innate inability to do anything but continue to positively prove my intentions in life of conducting myself honestly and with integrity. And lastly my financial health is critical to me and I deserve my money back and credibility as a consumer which is technically what a tenant is a customer in my opinion.

If you are truly an infj, just care less and have less of expectations. You will be happier.

@littleme3597

2 ай бұрын

Cindy Or give up YOUR personality. lol.

@dreamvalor2378

Ай бұрын

i care so much about what ppl think abt me,

@Red-ej6he

Ай бұрын

How does one care less as an infj? Only when you've done us so wrong the only way is to rage or ghost.

@maricarurmeneta6216

Ай бұрын

INFJ will not be INFJ if they do this

@deespaeth8180

Ай бұрын

If somone hurts me deeply, I detach from them emotionally and am no longer available . Sometimes after arguments, other times, something inside me breaks and I become cold. I've also learned to distance myself from certain kinds of people.

INFJ and spiritual awaking is dangerous 😳

@wacubby

4 ай бұрын

Oh my gosh, yes!!! Traveling through that now, I almost put that as a comment...thank you for saying it.

@TreyB.

4 ай бұрын

Truth 😊.

@nonachan2205

3 ай бұрын

Yes it is.

@user-cj4ry4is3h

3 ай бұрын

FACTS!!!💯💯💯

@mtoddrosen6295

3 ай бұрын

Same started 8 months ago. And it's been enlightening. The way people just gather to me now. But watch out for those narcissist. I just dodged a bullet recently. She got door slammed.

When I was younger, I was known in my family as being a 'hot head' for my temper and snapping point. Now looking back and knowing what I know about MBTI, I can see why I had so much trouble. I was surrounded by my least compatible personality types. As an INFJ I spent my entire childhood completely confused by the people around me and how they all seemed so out of touch with what I viewed as so important. It was also very lonely for me because none of them ever ventured past the surface in conversation.... their eyes would glaze over if I delved deeper. I've been in such a good place mentally as an adult, thanks to MBTI and learning about who I am and how the people close to me interact with the world. Such a valuable tool for self-growth.

@PJ-lj3gm

4 ай бұрын

It can be so frustrating being an INFJ! I feel your anger and pain. Its very disillusioning to have those feelings unvalidated. Anger is a red flag that something is wrong, and its good to listen to that anger (symptom) to dig down to the root problem (not ignore the symptom or invalidate it).

@ginaryanbearfighter7065

4 ай бұрын

Same. I am an adult child of an alcoholic father a narcissist mother and sister.

@anggorogedewaseso169

3 ай бұрын

My god, this is exactly what I've been feeling recently. in my eyes some people close to me seem to have "wrong" priorities in life and it's made me frustrated lately.

@brennadickinson2920

3 ай бұрын

@@ginaryanbearfighter7065 I think alcoholism and narcissism have immaturity in common.

@williamcastilla1963

2 ай бұрын

"Their eyes would glaze over if I delved deeper." That was a good one. 😂

67 year old INFJ-T, 1w2. You are extremely accurate with your explanations. I have seen a lot in my life time and have experienced all of these things. I have helped many and let others fend for themselves. I don't have to get revenge on another because I already know where their life is going. I just sit back and watch them implode.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Yes, revenge is a waste of energy. Thank you for the wisdom. I agree. Jay

@chioma5633

3 ай бұрын

Oh wow I’m also an INFJ T 1w2 but 24 years old

@noelenehazell8454

3 ай бұрын

Yes I agree with this, no need for revenge. Sometimes it comes to them in other ways. Much easier 😊

@brennadickinson2920

3 ай бұрын

@@INFJcircle Revenge requires coming down to their level. So they are dumped out of my life and never get back in.

It's our "Hannibal mode" 😁 The first time this happened to me, it was really scary to see how I managed to be so cold-blooded in a moment of extreme stress, when I had to confront an abusive narcissistic relative who had been giving me hell for years and how my words were meticulously chosen to hit the most painful and weakest points of him and after that, he started to be more terrified of me than of death itself and I even presented him with our legendary INFJ door slam and life has been very peaceful since then.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

That sounds like an eventful story. I totally understand, when we’re pushed too far bad things happen. I like the Hannibal mode lol. Thanks for the comment and sharing your story. Jay

@katataw_

4 ай бұрын

I always had a feeling that Hannibal could be also an INFJ, because it's so fascinating and scary to see how he can read (and mess with) people's minds and predict their behaviors in that way. Maybe in a day when lack some inspiration for a video, you could analyzing some characters like Hannibal, Sherlock Holmes, etc, that seems to be INFJs.😁 Keep the great job, your videos are amazing!

@thewatchtower8330

4 ай бұрын

Hannibal, the guy who crossed the Alpes with elephants to hammer down the Romans? ;-) I am not aware of that other Hannibal, so I would call it the Daenerys Targaryen mode,, just after her friend was killed. She then gave the order to burn down the entire city.

@cc1k435

4 ай бұрын

​@@thewatchtower8330Hannibal Lecter, of fava beans and chianti fame. 😂

@thewatchtower8330

4 ай бұрын

@@cc1k435 Hehe. Never saw the movies. A gap in my culture, I assume 🙂

I never thought I am dangerous but in retrospect I guess I can be. I don't like it though. I'd much rather have a peaceful atmosphere, it is so much more productive.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Yes, peace is always best. Knowing our abilities is very important because we can cut them off at the pass if we know about them! Thanks so much for the comment! Jay

@thewatchtower8330

4 ай бұрын

It’s true: I always strive to have a certain balance in my environment, for myself and other people. However, if something is not right, I have a strong feeling of correcting it, sometimes in a way to remove what causes the imbalance in such an order that it crushes balance totally first but then has a chance to be rebuilt again. For example: I know a guy steals at my workplace (I work for the court of Justice) and he sells those goods and I can’t stand that injustice. Also, because he treated my colleague badly in the past, but he gets away with his lies and manipulation. So, I am thinking about to expose it to get our working place purified. I could go to the bosses, the police and even the media. It would give an earth quake in our department which would cause problems for a lot of people (including me) but I am sometimes in a state to think it’s necessary for the higher good. I’m that state I don’t care about the hurting in the short term, because on the longer term it will be good. When I’m in that kind of state, I understand what Dynaeris Targaryen did when she gave her dragons permission to burn that city to the ground. I even see what that INFJ dictator was trying to do in Germany a couple of decennia ago. Totally wrong ofcourse, but I do get his intention (without supporting it at all). If we are tired of it and angry, we are dangerous indeed.

@thewatchtower8330

4 ай бұрын

It’s true: I always strive to have a certain balance in my environment, for myself and other people. However, if something is not right, I have a strong feeling of correcting it, sometimes in a way to remove what causes the imbalance in such an order that it crushes balance totally first but then has a chance to be rebuilt again. For example: I know a guy steals at my workplace (I work for the court of Justice) and he sells those goods and I can’t stand that injustice. Also, because he treated my colleague badly in the past, but he gets away with his lies and manipulation. So, I am thinking about to expose it to get our working place purified. I could go to the bosses, the police and even the media. It would give an earth quake in our department which would cause problems for a lot of people (including me) but I am sometimes in a state to think it’s necessary for the higher good. I’m that state I don’t care about the hurting in the short term, because on the longer term it will be good. When I’m in that kind of state, I understand what Dynaeris Targaryen did when she gave her dragons permission to burn that city to the ground. I even see what that INFJ dictator was trying to do in Germany a couple of decennia ago. Totally wrong ofcourse, but I do get his intention (without supporting it at all). If we are tired of it and angry, we are dangerous indeed.

@thewatchtower8330

4 ай бұрын

@@INFJcircle It’s true: I always strive to have a certain balance in my environment, for myself and other people. However, if something is not right, I have a strong feeling of correcting it, sometimes in a way to remove what causes the imbalance in such an order that it crushes balance totally first but then has a chance to be rebuilt again. For example: I know a guy steals at my workplace (I work for the court of Justice) and he sells those goods and I can’t stand that injustice. Also, because he treated my colleague badly in the past, but he gets away with his lies and manipulation. So, I am thinking about to expose it to get our working place purified. I could go to the bosses, the police and even the media. It would give an earth quake in our department which would cause problems for a lot of people (including me) but I am sometimes in a state to think it’s necessary for the higher good. I’m that state I don’t care about the hurting in the short term, because on the longer term it will be good. When I’m in that kind of state, I understand what Dynaeris Targaryen did when she gave her dragons permission to burn that city to the ground. I even see what that INFJ dictator was trying to do in Germany a couple of decennia ago. Totally wrong ofcourse, but I do get his intention (without supporting it at all). If we are tired of it and angry, we are dangerous indeed.

@cc1k435

4 ай бұрын

My preference, too, by a long shot. But people often seem to find brutal and insightful honesty about themselves scarier than just about anything else they could ever conceive of. 🤷‍♀️

This is so exactly true! People think I am a sweet little person they can run over (one girl even called me "Bo Peep" as a nickname.). But I have surprised them, and even myself, when I finally am driven to do the door slam. And I didn't even feel bad about it, they were just OUT.

@cc1k435

4 ай бұрын

That's kind of how that seems to always be, isn't it? "Suddenly," after a long string of one-more chances. By that point, I seem to have had plenty of time to detach from the other person, and there's just no bringing me back in to care anymore. ❤

@debbieatkerson5241

2 ай бұрын

OMG I have had the Bo Peep nickname too!!! Or Little Miss Muffett. Lord help us! They have no clue

@66el

Ай бұрын

I’ve been called Pollyanna until that moment I’ve enough.

I had a coworker tell me that I (at the time I was in my late fifties) was “too nice and innocent.” I said, “No, I’m medicated. Three days off the PTSD meds, you wouldn’t stay in the same room with me.” I’d rather ghost a person than wind up having to bury them in the park LOL

When I quit my last job, having known the people for many years prior to working for them, I saw right through the lies, manipulation, gaslighting etc & called it out continuously. HR & the exec team started ghosting me due to my honesty. I quit directly to the CEO, who thought I was kidding & refused to pass on my resignation to HR. I told them all how it was. In my resignation I did 6. CEO tried to Hoover me a month later and I did 1. Best decision of my life to door slam that guy! He’s the most malignant narcissist I’ve ever met.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

We simply can’t be around toxic people. It’s like dealing with some kind of waste without gloves (we are very sensitive). It’s not livable for us. You made the right move, better to just get out and find another job. Thanks for sharing! Jay

@brennadickinson2920

3 ай бұрын

Experience has taught me that I'm allergic to NPDs and I cut them loose at the first opportunity. They are beyond human help.

I call it..."reading their pedigree"....and I have restrained myself many times.

@dustycouch4526

4 ай бұрын

I've done that too.

@theotherside8258

14 күн бұрын

Last time was someone forcing an argument with me, I just told her that the point of the argument was of no value worth arguing over, that her empty life with no partner was making her sad and angry, wanting to hit out at someone to relieve the emotions to feel stronger and some control and that she'd chosen me because she didn't expect an argument back.

Older INFJ here. I find that I am still vulnerable to hurt by others when I have decided to trust them. I long for inclusion in a group, and when someone in the group publicly disrespects me or otherwise sabotages me, I feel hurt. I try to forgive, but I always end up leaving the group. I suspect that the disrespect was not intentional, but adults in groups need to be careful when they treat other members unfairly. Another hurt is when no one (or only one person) stands up for me. Or when the insulting person doesn't actually apologize, but acts like their behavior was acceptable. ALSO, here's a question. I'm sorry if the answer is obvious to everyone but me. I tend to need explicit facts to understand. Q: How are INFJs created? (I don't think we're born this complicated.) My suspicion is that we're exceptionally bright people who were emotionally abused or neglected as children, told our ideas and feelings don't matter, and gaslighted (the text software doesn't like the word "gaslit") when we got upset. We learn to know that we're most likely correct, despite others discrediting and sabotaging us. That leads us to pattern awareness; love of data; feeling unsure of our ability to be truly seen and loved; self-protective defenses on alert; heightened awareness and hate of injustice; and ongoing desire to be included in groups. What do you all think? Does this ring true for you?

@jeanie4703

3 ай бұрын

Spot on. I’m an older INFJ too, & fit with what you wrote about childhood. Longing for inclusion, but seem destined for singularity.

@theADHDinfj

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely without a doubt you hit it

@littledebby365

2 ай бұрын

A lot of that sounds familiar but the desire to be in a group definitely does not. As an introvert, I love the IDEA of a group but could never survive the group mindset. That's just the way it is. (I'd love for you to invite me to an event but don't expect me to actually attend the event.) ;D

@pleiadesluciernaga8877

Ай бұрын

INFJ here. Idyllic childhood. It is in your DNA. PS trust fewer people. Problem solved

@pleiadesluciernaga8877

Ай бұрын

@@littledebby365my solution: I organize events and then observe 😝

LOL! So true, all of it! Ex husband no 2 said to me "do you know how hard it is to live with someone who is always right"?...big egos can't handle our attempts to make the lives of others easier ... oh well...life is what it is!

@wacubby

4 ай бұрын

yep - big egos, toxic people are not onboard with our natural gifts - they want us to shrink and shut up. Not happening!

@nelacaro57

4 ай бұрын

My ex bf told me I could predict the future xD

@stevedavenport1202

3 ай бұрын

That's co dependence. I don't force improvements on people.

@donsolos

3 ай бұрын

Been there....

Now that I think about, I have done all of these, in response to abusive treatment.

@Ann963

4 ай бұрын

Yeah, he’s spot on, isn’t he?! 😅 (At least on this video; I haven’t seen his others to know…yet!)

@cc1k435

4 ай бұрын

​@@Ann963If not an INFJ already, we'd find it chilling. 😂

@cc1k435

4 ай бұрын

Abuse is always where it starts for me. The older I get, the better I am at distancing myself earlier from other people's bad behavior and NOT having to get to these moments, but I suppose even with myself, I give too many chances. 😂😢

I distill this down to being intimidating to liars. Whether someone is lying to themselves, others or me directly.

@Keyboardje

3 ай бұрын

And to narcissists, I know from personnel experience! :D

I had two gf so blalantly cheat that when I caught, showed them on a written timeline complete with dates and times they both cried and tossed their hands up and claimed I was "evil" that I could put all this together like a CIA agent. This was my awakening to being an INFJ and some of its power.

@mir6598

4 ай бұрын

😂 that is hilarious. Love the analytical approach. Something I totally would do.

@lyno5211

4 ай бұрын

I felt a little guilty thinking that is hilarious until I saw your comment. And Mr. Secret Agent Man, I hope you find some non-cheating, not drama queens. Lol

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Case in point. Statistics. Sorry this happened to you. Hope you are all right, that sounds rough. Jay

@tomlopez4968

3 ай бұрын

How does a homosexual wimp have girlfriends... Maybe you were the girlfriend sister

Has any one thought they may have door slammed the human race. I think as I have aged, I stopped trying to make a connection. I have my handful of precious people and am content to keep everyone else at a distance.

@Ali08

4 ай бұрын

Unfortunately yes. After a intense experience happened in my life, the level of cares has plummented.

@elizaveta2407

4 ай бұрын

I sometimes feel this way too and I don't even have a handful of close friends any more as I have door slammed almost all of them because I realised they were covert narcissists... I tried to socialise more to meet new people and possibly make friends but no luck so far and it's extremely draining.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

I keep my heart open but with sure defenses built in. When you don't let others take advantage of you a lot of the people who are abusers fade away, after all, if you won't let them abuse you they have no reason to stick around. I also employ having "friends" that are for specific purposes. So, for example, you could have a "basketball friend", an "arts an crafts friend" ect. I don't put a lot of expectation on each person any more - that perfect "friend" I always imagined just probably isn't in the cards. But I can enjoy some others for what they are. Jay

@dannillebennett1761

4 ай бұрын

Yes. It feels hopeless trying to even attempt engaging. I maintain regular contact with few close friends and basically tolerate the rest of humanity as needed.

@tonyjones1560

4 ай бұрын

I’ve turned into my father, LOL. Were it not for my mother and her family, he probably would have lived alone in a cabin somewhere and fished all day. If it weren’t for my wife and her family, I’d be alone in a cabin. Only mine would need a generator. The better to serenade all the woodland creatures with drop-tuned guitars and power chord based doom metal. I don’t know if my dad (RIP🙏🏾) was an INFJ as well but the parallels between his life and mine are astonishing to me.

100% spot on again Jay. Oh, the stories I could tell, one being the day being so stressed with his unfairness, in private in his office, I stood up verbally to our fairly new toweringly tall, intimidating branch manager. All the males in the office were afraid of him, but after my outburst he could not have been nicer to me afterwards 😅 Me only 4’10” too, but this INFJ was beyond breaking point. I guess he had respect for me after that 💪😀

@cc1k435

4 ай бұрын

It's so weird to me that that's what people seem to be looking for in management. I can't imagine leading people by scare tactics. It so often works that way, them getting respect for throwing their weight around. They'll never have mine for it, and they seem to realize it by the time I'm about to walk away. 🙄

I've come to deeply appreciate this side of myself. After decades of being bullied and abused, I found my voice. NO ONE treats me badly now, not if they don't want it thrown right back in their faces.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Yes, you simply must stand up for yourself. And that means strong boundaries. Thanks for watching! Jay

The INFJ door slam is a real thing in my life. After repeated requests and observations-if the particular issue arises that last time, it truly IS the last time. It’s like a switch shuts down all the lights and I’m out officially. Cold as ice I am able to be so detached it’s stunning. Not rude, juts very matter of fact and “goodbye”. Decision made over a lot of time and contemplation.

Being INFJ is scary because I'll do everything in my power to help those who need it and create peace. Sometimes you gotta manipulate the bad people to help the good people and sometimes you wait until its the time. Regardless everything you do as an INFJ is intentional and is done with a purpose very rarely is there no purpose behind our actions.

@pleiadesluciernaga8877

Ай бұрын

I have an entire stack of cards I’m waiting to play, one at a time

100% correct. Sadly, they didn’t listen to my advice & haven’t spoken to me since 😢 people rarely do. We’re not psychic. We’re just really good at what’s called pattern recognition & the older we get & the more data we’ve collected the more accurate we become. At my old job I always knew when someone was about to quit. Sometimes to the exact day & if they’d call & when as well as what their excuse would be. Again depending on the amount of data collected over time. I’ve done the door shut & the rage. I’ve learned to be more patient & to take precautions to prevent it. Pattern recognition helps with this. In my teen years when my rage went off, my words were dangerously accurate & painful for that person. 😢 this video is very accurate. Thanks for it.

@randigerber1926

4 ай бұрын

Pattern recognition is my specialty. Also seeing where there's a break in the pattern/logic flaw. I know people hate it when they're showing off how smart they are and then, with one little observation or question, I deflate them. All I do is point out one little detail they missed, because it is so obvious to me. Lots of times I hold back, for the sake of politeness or friendship ... if someone makes a point of showing off, my pattern senses go on alert, and then the flaw is flashing red in my mind. And then my acute senses of justice and accuracy (yes, data collection!) demand I point it out. Respectfully, but never mind that ...

I seem to have a passion for rooting out corruption and crappy behavior. The system at large benefits from my efforts, but I create life-long enemies in the process. Whistle blowers are very rarely viewed as heroes.

@pleiadesluciernaga8877

Ай бұрын

Amen. I once caught an employee committing fraud & embezzlement. Ethics board asked if I was going to persist with “the witch hunt”. Be prepared - we make people face uncomfortable facts & they will not like that one bit.

You can’t suddenly cut out and forget someone you once cared about. INFJ: silently chuckling

Hi Jay, What you've said in this video is just so true for me. The INFJ door slam is what I usually use to end a relationship in which I find myself in pain and loss. And once the door is slammed, there is no other chance! I reflect on my behavior, and it is also true that before I cut off the toxic relationship, I actually give more than three chances for that person to make up for what he/she has done wrong to me. However, this is not an easy process at all since I must confess that I'm kind of easy to forgive people who hurt me. That's bad for me then. Before I knew that I am an INFJ, I was miserable when I thought of my solitude from childhood up to the present, but now I know that I'm a rare breed and I have my own power. Solitude is actually good for me since I can cultivate my inner rich life and avoid toxic relationships. I'm grateful for your channel since I am a big fan of it, and it helps me to understand myself more, be happy in solitude, but still feel a sense of belonging. Have a nice day, Jay.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for the comment. Yes, it can be tough to be in solitude but it’s much better than being with toxic people. There are people out there who will at least treat you decently. There can be friends in many areas, for example, you might have an arts and crafts friend, a work, friend, etc. these people may not be as deep as you like, or provide the richness that you desire, but they can be company, and at least they are not bullies or toxic people. Also, our online communities, like the circle. I also have some other things planned, so stay tuned. Jay

@Sophiamusicforyou

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for your quick reply, Jay! It made my day! I have the same thoughts about your advice. I've made a plan for my new journey into art and psychology, as I feel like I would find my way home with like-minded people in these fields. Another important thing is that I am a lifelong learner, as all INFJs are, so I'm so happy to learn new things every day. And of course, I'm eagerly waiting for the INFJ Circle to become a community that I can belong to. Your work just means so much! Thank you, Jay.@@INFJcircle

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

You are welcome! Jay

OK, once again you hit all the characteristics. I have HORRIFIC rage if pushed too far. And yes, I throw all their crap in their faces. It leaves me drained and regretful, but it clearly works for the moment. I don't find revenge very satisfying. I have used it, but my core value of following Karma usually stops me. Interesting analogy from "ghosting" to "door slamming" I do a lot of ghosting, but I find myself still almost "stalking" them to make sure they are OK. I have door slammed, but absolutely the last resort. I must have respect and mutual understanding. Thank you as always!!!

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Agree with what you've written here. Revenge is good in the moment, but it's a hollow victory. As we mature (most of us) realize this and move to just letting people go when absolutely necessary. Thanks for the comment! Jay

I'm INFJ and I don't care if people are leaving me for my necessary brutal honesty (I'm done hurting myself just to be what they want from me). 😎🤘 Thank you for sharing Sir.

This is terrifyingly accurate

My building owners management group asked a mild mannered young accountant to be on the Committee because he seemed totally undangerous and they just needed someone to make up the numbers. They couldn't have chosen anyone BETTER able to stop their illegal behaviour. INFJ

Excellent video, Jay! " Downright creepy" - (in regard to #5)..... that was hilarious! But you're right - no one has ever said " oh thank you for seeing me so clearly and sharing what's ahead - I really appreciate it". 😄 My hot button is disrespect.....just typing the word gets my pulse hopping.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Totally! They never seem to appreciate the insight, haha. It creeps them out - but we've seen it all along. Thanks for the comment! Jay

@dannillebennett1761

4 ай бұрын

The worst part about seeing others clearly and telling them about themselves - is I always hurt them without intention!

I'll give people chance after chance but once I've been pushed to far or I deem you as a liar, user, manipulative, fake ill door slam. I've always been very independent, and I'm extremely loyal to those I care for, but once I lose respect for you I'm out. Great video. Thank you.

Listening to you is like taking a warm bath in scented water. Calm, relaxing and enlightening. As a Briton I love listening to your soothing accent and everything you say is so on point. Thank you. I’ve now subscribed to your channel

This is brilliant. This is me as an INFJ. When I absolutely need to, not because I want to, I will go SCORCHED EARTH on a person and they will walk away (figuratively speaking) with a permanent limp from me.

@wheredowelive

20 күн бұрын

Because they know you see the real them under their facade. Scares the crap out of people.

I’ve been told I’m intimidating my whole life and never realized why. These videos help me come into my full self without shame. Thank you! 🙏

That duplication is what I call the mirror principle. Give a reflection so those individuals can see their flaws...

I'm an INFJ and a Scorpio. I have a very long fuse, but I don't suffer fools gladly, and never EVER lie to me - that's a line someone cannot cross, and you only get one strike. Because I'll call it out, look for a time to release my sting and then, when the time is right... RUN!!!

It is true. That line. Lol It will make you say things no person should probably ever say to anyone. Im not proud of it, but when I was younger, I turned someones past, severe trauma experience on them. Pointing out how it was their own fault. Which was probably harder on them, than the situation itself. After being taken advantage of, lied to for years, it just happened. It was true, and I meant every word of it. Some truths just shouldnt be said though. I actually cried about it later. I have learned to be more conscious of what Im saying in intense situations, as Ive grown older.

@Johnny_RB

4 ай бұрын

"...some truths shouldn't be said though..." Yes, Jesus got into a lot of trouble doing that. He was young, though and didn't know any better. Most people can't be "saved" no matter what you do.

@annatetiad.4991

4 ай бұрын

I always say that how I treat you is a reflection. So dealing with the INFJ is like looking in the mirror. You get what you throw at them....either good or bad.

@WakingAngels

4 ай бұрын

The reason I pause and think deeply before I speak now. Reality is most don’t want the truth. It kills their secret bliss.

I love the natural kindness Infj's have. I find that Infj's don't have to punish because the future is clear to those who are corrupt. Boundaries are important to learn. Givers need their solace too. We are worthy of respect, too. Stay where you are wanted. Leave when the truth is too hard for others. Infj's cannot live in half-truths. It hurts to separate from the reality as we see it. Sometimes we can't bring everybody with us.

I have made at least two people cry that I can remember when I calmly told them things about themselves they didn’t want to hear and were true. Do not cross an INFJ.

SO spot on Sir! Yes! Nodded all the way through this. Excellent vid. Sir!

It is incredible, how similar our experiences are! So good that you‘ve thought through it and are eloquent enough to deliver your insights!

I didn’t think I was dangerous, but when I watched the video I found myself agreeing to all your points. Very insightful and well put together video.

These are so accurate. I'm an INFJ and you are spot on. So happy I found your channel and that there are others like me, not many, but they're out there. Thank you so much for your great information!

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Welcome! Jay

I enjoy scrolling through my recommended and seeing videos with titles like this. It's amusing.

So much relief finding these videos …

The door slam is permanent and there are no feelings on the other side.

Really wish I’d found all this when I was younger, such fantastic advice for our personality type, it’s like finding what you’ve always been looking for. I also love your accent, and calming voice.

Life's awesome when you know you're right all the time.

Thank you so much for the info you provide - you help put my mind at ease. I now realize I'm not crazy, I'm an INFJ!

Thank you for making content, I don't feel alone anymore when I know that there are other people like me and you! Thank you sir :D

@INFJcircle

3 ай бұрын

You are welcome!🙏 Jay

Each video of yours I watch I am exclaiming, "Yes! Exactly! I totally do that!". Thanks for sharing- now I know I am not alone.

I just found you, I love you! You're like in my head, explaining my life. And I appreciate your sense of humor. Thank you.

@INFJcircle

3 ай бұрын

You are so welcome, thanks for the great comment :) I’m glad the video helped! Jay

Thank you for your video 💗 it came into my life at a really important time during the planning of the next steps of my professional life , we as INFJs can feel like outsiders and loners most of the time but i'm happy that my personality is strong enough to show fairness and justice to others 😊

@INFJcircle

3 ай бұрын

Yes, it’s definitely strong enough, and we often do that. It’s our nature :) Jay

as an infj… the green mile is my favorite movie!!!

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Very revealing for us isn’t it? Jay

@youngk001

3 ай бұрын

Me as well

I like your calm voice. Very good job on this video😊

We are unassuming and kind. This is all well said and true. I knew for sure I was an infj when I heard the door slam described in a few videos, I have certainly done this 😂

Thanks Jay. Healthy boundaries are so important for figuring out early which relationships aren't good for us, so we can distance ourselves or go no contact before we suffer more harm. Standing up for ourselves can feel like we're being selfish or mean when we're not, especially if we've been taught our whole lives that expressing our needs or feelings is wrong.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Exactly, boundaries are SO important. And we must enforce them! Jay

This is so true. I am extremely the most loving person ever but can be very dangerous, VERY!!!!!!! dangerous. I don’t ever want to be that way so I try to stay to myself.

When the door slam came up, the sentences i said exactly with you at the same time and I've never seen this video before. I already knew i was an an infj.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Hahaha, yeah, us INFJs certainly think alike! Jay

I was doubting if I was a INFJ but after listening to these topics again, it just makes sense in how I make decisions on who gets to be in my life and many of the issues I face.

Yeah we INFJs rock!! SO glad we have people like this in our group🤗

You really nailed it! I usually don't subscribe to channels, but I subscribed to yours just after watching only this video of yours. ❤🎉

@INFJcircle

2 ай бұрын

Thank you. welcome aboard!

Excellent presentation Sir! Thank you so so much!❤

I always knew the reason why my brother always hated me so much. But. I just couldn't turn off the psychic abilities no matter how hard I tried. This is why people suddenly quit talking to me. I guess they just don't want themselves to be exposed. Either way. I guess sometimes I feel like taking a break from this psychic ability in order to lead a rather "social" life; so I don't go insane. But who knew it's somewhat impossible to get rid of this power. The trick I often used as a kid was to play dumb in order to enjoy myself socially. Because no social gathering except a person who is outside the usual norm.

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Yes, it can be difficult. Reminds me of Neo before and after he woke to the Matrix. Hard to go back to before we took the red pill - I don't think we ever knew before. Jay

Definitely channelled the darker sides of this when dealing with certain problematic individuals. Some regret, though mostly it felt necessary for those situations and my life. Without those people around me as influences I am overall better for it. There is also the grief side that isn't often talked about on the topic

*Pure GOLD Channel, Just Like Wenzes's, & LOVE These Kinds of Videos...the MOST* ✊🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥👊🎯👍

What do you think about "the infj stare"? I have been told mine can speak volumes, in a good or bad way without ever saying a word. It can creep people out I have found.

@halcyondays8945

4 ай бұрын

Oh absolutely. I’ve only met one person who was comfortable with my directness and would stare right back. That earned my respect instantly!

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Yes, INFJs (many of them) are more comfortable with eye contact than most others. Others sometimes get uncomfortable. Jay

@unhiddenhistory

Ай бұрын

Twenty years before I found out I was an INFJ, my husband would sometimes say that my gaze seemed like it was piercing right into his soul.

Damn this the realest video I’ve watched in a long time! Got my sub

@INFJcircle

3 ай бұрын

:) Jay

Wow this explains a lot! Thank you❤

I have never taken the personality test, but this is truly something to think about. I do a lot of this, including keeping documents and information on individuals. 🤔

Holy smokes!!!! These are as spot on, I must admit.

Yep 🖤💎 Great Video! Thank you 🙏💪

Love the videos. Have you done a video about growing up as an INFJ? From my experience life was very tricky until I learned to harness my strengths and weaknesses as an INFJ.

@INFJcircle

3 ай бұрын

I have not made a video like that but I wrote it in my topic list. Great idea. Jay

Funny thing as an infj, my top qualities would've been psychologist or analyst. I listen to multiple conversations at one time, making me like thanos and can destroy people's worlds with the infinity stones i have stored in my mind 🤣

@theotherside8258

14 күн бұрын

I've felt that too. I did meet an escapee from a mental institute once who had not been outside for years - its sounds like a tall story and i'd normally keep a distance but spent some long time talking to him and i could see that he had 2 problems. 1 being that he was too institutionalised and had no interaction with normal people to get a balanced viewpoint or to have a talk with someone who is not just doing a job. 2 his uncontrolled obsessions about other peoples behaviour and that the drugs he needed and had stopped taking were only suppressing his emotions not dealing with the reasoning. I talked to him about why he felt so strongly things were wrong or right and how he decided what was wrong or right, I asked him what happens if he ignores and lets things go. Would he feel bad, hurt,etc . I'm not saying i did any good therapy but I think he was very glad to have had a deep conversation with someone outside the system without an agenda that he could also rip loose about the institution where he was, and when i left him he was going to let the police find him.

Thanks! That was informative.

Crazy how much I resonate this

Every single comment resonates with me...making me smile and giggle as well... I had a narcarcictic mother. I adored my dad, I'm an only child of immigrants from Switzerland.. Growing up alone, in spite of my mother, was the best for me, but my boundaries have been weak. My empathetic heart left me open to exploitation..I just turned a young 70 in Feb. And Finally got the last useless renter out of my house and am loving my peaceful life and family.. Best of all, my oldest lovely daughter is an INFJ too...!! Its so good to be understood❤ My theory is "children come here to help their parents and further their growth, sadly some parents are poor students..!"..oh I've raged.. Imitated, insulted and brought people to realize themselves.. Teaching is a noble, however at times, draining, calling...!!!

The few rages that happened years ago are things I cringe about to this day. I truly feel horrible about it.

One of the best INFJ videos... 👌 .....totally agree... 😊

Always on the right track

Hey there… Happy blessed Sunday to y’all… here as follows is my take on this topic… Dangerousness plays no part in their personality in my opinion… See INFJ’s are as tough as titanium but also as soft as cotton wool… they are mainly misunderstood in a lot of ways I say… INFJs are just truly their authentic selves… ain’t nowt fake about them… they ask for what they want and they say how they feel… they are not passive aggressive nor are they sycophantic… they exist outside of the mainstream and are the typical loner type but once you get to know them and understand their quirky ways you’ll never want for a better friend / partner or anything else… INFJs are the ones with all the energy…. They’re fully in touch with the inner child part of their personality… they are funny light hearted kind and empathetic individuals but they are nobodies fool… serve them a plateful of ignorance… dislike… dis interest just the once and they will not be back for seconds hahahah and disingenuous ppl are a bugbear to them entirely… In a world filled with mostly narcissistic ppl INFJs are refreshing and a joy to be around but only if they want you to be around them… they care not for too much attention / company from others all the time mainly because other ppl and their energy can overwhelm them and this can be very draining especially if its bad odious energy those others are bringing… INFJs are the cool calm collected misfits - the Lone Ranger - the Renegade - the Non conformists…. the nerds of society but they are super intelligent… weirdly interesting… differently different… ultra unique… superbly honest… gloriously happy in their skin kind and humble individuals… albeit massively mysterious and a tad unpredictable at times but this is their true nature… they are that they are hahahah.. and ain’t nothing or no one gonna change them to be anything other than who they naturally are !! Hope all this makes sense to those who’ll read it.. but if it doesn’t then I don’t care to be fair.. because I tried to put this as succinctly as possible… so there !! You’re welcome btw.. Thanks INFJ Circle’ for this insightful insight Bye for now;)

@user-kn2fi9pr8i

4 ай бұрын

Hmmm…I’ve always been something of a chameleon, rather than such a confident, bold personality you’ve described yourself as here. As he’s describing, I consciously take the path of peaceful doormat, rather than a ferocious lion that wants to annihilate injustice and cruelty, as I would really like to do. It sounds like your life has been more idyllic than mine. What a blessing!

@JOEYDEEZ369

4 ай бұрын

@@user-kn2fi9pr8i uhh uhh my dear I have had a very rough life up to the point where I am now… I used to be meek and mild just like you actually… I came to realise that humankind frowns upon those who are too nice for their own good.. if anyone tells me ‘I am nice’ I take that as an insult actually.. I do not want to be seen as nice’ I am kind yes’ but I am not nice… to me nice means a doormat… I am indifferent to most people but I show compassion always… I ask for what I want and I say how I feel… I do not let others take my kindness as a weakness.. I am not a sycophantic individual so I will always tell you the truth whether it’s popular to do so or not… I’m extremely self assured and self confident and highly assertive… I’m an optimist and I’m gloriously happy and confident in my own skin.. but I’m no one special mind.. I’m just me… and the me that I was always destined to be and for this I shall make no apology… I fully accept who I am and I love the person I’ve become.. flaws and all… I hope you can find peace and solace in yourself someday somewhere along the line… never give up on yourself… learn to love yourself as you are and if you feel you need to do the inner work / self improvement in order to become a stronger more confident person then do so my friend… there are no limits to self improvement… it just takes practice.. dedication and a bit of inward thinking.. get to know yourself properly instead of letting others tell you who you are… boss your own life - make your own decisions and own them whether good or bad… it’s simples really… I wish you the best of luck !! Thanks for your reply.. Bye;)

I'm really glad that there are people out there telling me which people are dangerous

I'm always observing and assessing people's behavior, constructing a pattern of who this person is, and consequently deciding for myself if I want to interact with them or have them be close to me. If I see something that I don't like I won't engage with them anymore without an explanation, because that's not necessary. If I am pressed or pushed or see something agregious I will cut them with words containing the document I've kept in mind of the analysis of their behavior.

Yesterday I got a compliment from someone who must have thought beforehand that I had ill intentions. Took me 6 years to get there. It was worth it.

Thank you bro. Wise words

I'm still learning about myself as an INFJ-T . I just thought I was different from everyone else for 50 years. It's nice to know I'm not alone in being an infj 🇬🇧✌️

Oh Wow! 100%! All of the above 🙌 All my life i defended others because i cannot stand injustice and i thought it was because I'm a Libra ♎. They do not talk about how important justice is when they describe the INFJ personality. Thank you for this description. I now understand why i lost it so many times, even though peace is so important to me and ghosted so many people during my so far 48 years on earth. 😊

@wheredowelive

20 күн бұрын

Ditto. (Libra rising ; )

@Jana-zp4to

20 күн бұрын

@@wheredowelive 😊

This is so true!

I just loved his accent, its very smooth❤

I often wish I wasn't an INFJ, actually I'm in the middle of E & I. To just go through life unphased seems so pleasant. My best life is through my art and staying self-employed with a small group of wonderful friends.. to tell someone they've crossed into my boundaries is not something I could do. I'd rather walk away because my brain won't trust that person again... besides, I was already anticipating it.

Left out the INFJ stare that makes their bones shiver! And why we should be careful making eye contact too much and at certain times

As an INFJ going through a divorce right now (i initiated), this is scarily accurate. I have done all of those as our marriage fell apart.

@theotherside8258

14 күн бұрын

Do you know the type of your partner? There is supposed to be an ideal type for each type but for most types the match will not be the same type.

All of these are very correct. 💯

@INFJcircle

4 ай бұрын

Thank you! Jay

When other people give us feedback - about some comment that we made, how much it has shaken them - that is when we realize this.