Subscribe for more videos where I speak 👉 bit.ly/frankjames If you'd like a Stay Cool and Attractive hoodie or somethin 👕www.bonfire.com/store/frankjames

@MrJo-uy5ri

4 жыл бұрын

Are you wearing the red hoodie merch? It looks good. I wanted to buy it, but I'm broke. :'(

@plume1639

4 жыл бұрын

Great video! Thank you.

@adiyahmalkah7888

4 жыл бұрын

FJ...I am so excited to sport your merch!! You should continue making it!! You are the best of the best. (There's your confidence for the day. ❤️) Thanks for always giving me a smile at the start of my day. Looking forward to your next video. ❤️

@joshvisser4803

4 жыл бұрын

You’re out here saving lives, I hope you know that. Truly mind blowing stuff to me right now. How, at 26, am I just finding out about this.

@ldmurray9165

4 жыл бұрын

I want that red hoodie!!!

my problem is that people around me think I am doing great when they see what I've accomplished and what I've been up to - but I don't! even when others think you're doing great, confidence must come from you and that's the difficult part

@niceday5751

4 жыл бұрын

Same here and this make me feel bad and depressed

@pink5345

4 жыл бұрын

Confidence always has to come from within. Totally agree.

@evavidal2171

4 жыл бұрын

Yep, and it is powerful when you start tapping into becoming more confident from within!! You can make it!!

@caitlynobrien994

4 жыл бұрын

Oh my goodness.... Me too, I'm so bad at that. My friends could be super supportive but I just can't get out of my head

@lebmc2148

4 жыл бұрын

Give yourself some credit brah. Positive affirmations people! Look in that mirror and tell yourself you are killin' it. Give yourself some smooches, pad your back and enjoy it!

" give yourself permission to be good enough for yourself " 👍👏👏

I’m an INFJ and I’m afraid to do lots of stuff cause I think I’ll fail.

@colincyzon3627

4 жыл бұрын

It sounds like you may have to try to expand your extroverted feeling a bit. That's what FJ has been saying for that area I think

@justinjbenjamin

4 жыл бұрын

Fear of failure is difficult, I feel that. Try to phrase failure as a way to then get better and meet your high level of (often too high) expectations. :)

@saswatisasmal

2 жыл бұрын

Same.. I feel so stuck at times 😔

@emanuelmayer

2 жыл бұрын

I am mostly disappointed by the lack of feedback or success. So I usually give up after several (long) tries.

@saswatisasmal

2 жыл бұрын

@@emanuelmayer exactly same here..

I'm an INFJ. I was not confident, until finally I learned to love myself by accepting myself fully. After I mastered it, there wasn't much to worry me anymore and I rarely thought too much. My life became peaceful and I'm confident.

@LMarie-dx8re

3 жыл бұрын

Omg how? 😍

@saswatisasmal

2 жыл бұрын

How did you achieve this impossible thing 😧 ?

@emanuelmayer

2 жыл бұрын

I still can't. I can write thousands of "I am good enough"-stickers and glue them to every wall on all my rooms, but it still does not work. I can write it down dozens of times daily, does not work.

@jyothilakshmi369

2 жыл бұрын

Looking forward to ❤️

@brah04X

10 ай бұрын

@@emanuelmayer Look up shadow work/inner child work. You likely have core beliefs that you need to understand and work on. For many years, the "I love you talk" to myself just felt cringe and pointless, but as I grew emotionally, it started to actually bear weight. These days I tell myself daily that I love myself, think I'm cool, doing good, etc, and it's not forced at all.

How INFJs can build confidence: hair care products.

@teamdamon4eva

4 жыл бұрын

This is exactly what I do and it works

@zaythorn1263

4 жыл бұрын

im not me w/o em

@silvergreylion

4 жыл бұрын

And if you're bald?

@destree6348

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, cutting and dying it too lol

@colincyzon3627

4 жыл бұрын

@@silvergreylion Use ni and think some hair to cover the baldness.

Honestly I think MBTI has helped my self confidence.

@christietrumb7807

4 жыл бұрын

It’s helped mine too! I got to know and accept myself without judgment, and learn to grow with my strengths and recognize my weaknesses. I don’t allow my weaknesses to define or depress me but to grow with the weeds.

@simonegreco4620

4 жыл бұрын

@@christietrumb7807 your personality isn't fixed, in fact in the course of the time It could change, not radically but at least It will change. However knowing your strenghts and weakness without judging is part of the process.

@mbtisocialclub

4 жыл бұрын

Simone Greco 👍🏼 yep, I changed from ENTP to INTJ. You want to be an IxxJ you gonna have to sacrifice time to be alone. You want to be an ENFJ you’d have to start valuing people more And being out more.

@simonegreco4620

4 жыл бұрын

@@mbtisocialclub sorry but i think this is a dumb way to approch changes in the life. You make your choices but at the last the point is that you have to feel better with yourself and with others. It's not like that: i won't wake up tomorrow with the aim to judge people more, or force myself to be alone. It could be a consequence, maybe because i'll study more, or i find a good job but it's individual

@mbtisocialclub

4 жыл бұрын

Simone Greco i think you are jumping to conclusions. What you pretty much just said is my point. What I tried to point out is that when my lifestyle changed so did my outlook on life and my personality. You know how some people say that they wish they were a different type? Well they can change their type but it would mean they’d have to change fundamental things about themselves and I only gave u general ways to change type. Each type just tells you how you like to live your life. If you are an outgoing person and then stopped going out, after some time your type will change, but most people do not want to change therefore they will not change.

FJ: "I give you permission to be good enough" My confidence: 50/100 -------> 90/100

How to build your confidence 1.Don't let feelings of inferiority boss you around. 2. Coose an interest and commit to working on it. 3. Do everything step by step and little by little, don't just see the bigger picture. 4. Get something that motivates you. 5. Think positively, you are the only one who could free your mind from these sick thoughts. 6. Get your shit together and stop caring about people's opinions anymore. 7. You're infj. You're unique. Celebrate it.

The origin of the word confidence is 'confidere' - which means 'trust' This is the best definition I've come across. Trust. To fully trust is to be here in the moment without doubt. Trust in life. Trust that everything will be ok

@DigitalDamsel

4 жыл бұрын

Kevin Groves I really like this definition, thank you 🙏🏾

@Charleena-Purcell

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this😊

@clastagehtdichnixan3426

4 жыл бұрын

In german, the word for confidence is "Selbstvertrauen", which literally means self-trust. I think that describes it pretty well.

@tennen3387

4 жыл бұрын

the thing is i trust (and am confident enough) myself, i just couldnt trust other people, and it may seem and they usually think like i dont care, so when i do things that makes me feel good, it scares them away,.but the truth is i do care a lot, and thats kinda frustrating,the reasonwhy when they feel good with a particular thing that im doing, i somehow feel good about myself too because doing that particular thing(especially when its something that i love doing), kinda builds a bridge between me and the other people. Probably boils down to "bridge=connection" that i long for.

@CristiRenaeVaughan

4 жыл бұрын

Love that

Self confidence is a tough one when you’re putting something out there that can be judge by others 🤷‍♀️

One of the things that has noticeably changed is FJ hair. Just saying.

@ayezichi

4 жыл бұрын

PurpleBunny 131 and it’s getting really hot in here

@deathchronic

4 жыл бұрын

seems to be gaining height, those hair follicles

“Don’t care about other people. Who needs them? Ok, I do!” 😂 I love that you acknowledge your humanity. I’ve seen some of your older videos and......this hair is the best by far.....😅

@knmonlinemedia

4 жыл бұрын

Love his hair 😍

@kalinadesseaux8011

4 жыл бұрын

That really was the best part: acknowledging your humanity, illuminating the struggle of don't care and do. And in the best way, with a laugh

Well, you had enough confidence to talk about this. And that means other INFJ's can as well.

nah Frank, your older videos are also great, those videos also have a lot of insightful observations which is the primary reason why i liked your channel in the first place

@Kwietitze

4 жыл бұрын

you are 110% right! 👍

@auroraborealis6398

4 жыл бұрын

yep, agree !

@mariajosefinavegaok

4 жыл бұрын

Yep!

@fayevinyl4596

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah senpai, you've never changed, except for the better, speaking of which, thanks for introducing me to mbti humor.

@evavidal2171

4 жыл бұрын

I agree with PT... your videos back then were great as we could see your vulnerability which called our own vulnerability too... and how you progressed, inspires others ... progress and improvement is possible, is real!! We just gotta do the job on ourselves... Thank you... what you did back then is very beautiful and inspiring in many ways! You are now up a notch now 😂 and that is SO cool!!

The fact that we're all gonna die anyway gives me a lot of confidence

@Jadedlaii

4 жыл бұрын

Marcelina I felt this

@lextor4712

4 жыл бұрын

Memento mori.

@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97

4 жыл бұрын

Same

@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97

4 жыл бұрын

@@lextor4712 Persona fan?

@lextor4712

4 жыл бұрын

@@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97 nope...but I know about the game - as far as I know very time consuming. It was a stoic expression.

“Give yourself permission to be good enough” ~ FJ

@zsemma6599

4 жыл бұрын

Made me cry. This is a thing I can not do. Don't know how, I'm serious.

@KanashiAtisuto

4 жыл бұрын

@@zsemma6599 I think it has a lot to do with acceptance, knowing yourself & how you understamd & define things. My ultimate thought is that I know it doesn't make sense to consider myself as not enough but there's a lot of work, history & thought processes connected to that.

@clarkesummers1188

4 жыл бұрын

Is Frank an INFJ? Or is he using “we” rhetorically?

@KanashiAtisuto

4 жыл бұрын

@@clarkesummers1188 He's an INFJ.

Frank:Please don't check the early videos. me:goes to find oldest video

@WhispersOfTheMoon.

3 жыл бұрын

Twas a clever ploy.

Knowing the fact that INFJs are perfectionists gave me confidence🙂

A lack of confidence is generally a pain, but it’s also a source of sensitivity, compassion and understanding.

@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97

4 жыл бұрын

You can be sensitive and compassionate with confidence, I used to believe that I couldn't and that I had to abuse myself to make myself feel like I wasn't so "high and mighty" and that I was "relatable around others" nah, it actually bred resentment when I felt I had to do that to myself and I see the value of love now that I love myself, the real value, not the preconceived notion I had of it.

Proverbs 28:1 The wicked run when no one is chasing them, but an honest person is as brave as a lion.

@michellemendoza1061

4 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@Biracialbaddie

4 жыл бұрын

Omg that reminds me of heart of a lion by kid Cudi love that song♥️🦁 thanks for the reminder

I had no confidence at all until I was 15... I was just an outcast in every way. But I was inscribed into a music school, and after my audition, my teacher told me that she had not heard a voice like mine, ever. I went into an anxiety attack because people were watching me when she said it. She made me sing in front of the entire music school to prove that I was what she was saying I was... all the kids loved it. After that day, I have never been the same. Singing became my safe-extrovert-spot and mask. As an adult, I was very lucky 🍀 to have an amazing visionary boss on my first job, that immediately saw that I had a “talent” for Human Resources. It made me have a “jump” ahead on my own like and career. I’m forever grateful to her because I had no clue on what I could do. Frank, appreciate you and all of the channel followers’ so much! 💙

@KanashiAtisuto

4 жыл бұрын

Wow, congratulations on those things 💙 I'm 19, never had much confidence, utterly lost it at age 10 when I got my social phobia & around graduation I started losing it again. I've been working on getting it back up but I think I'm currently in one of my greatst lows ever. Hope to encounter such sparks as you had soon.

@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97

4 жыл бұрын

That's so freaking inspiring.

@user-fu1nw7kh2h

3 жыл бұрын

I am so happy that you got the nurturing that you deserve. 💕

Confidence is learning to trust yourself They way you get it is to gradually try new/more things. The more you succeed, or try things that seem scary at first but don’t result in the sky falling in, the more you are willing to “go for it” the next time.

Yes!! Confidence definitely shouldn’t be dependent on how others judge you. It’s taken me years to internalize that and it’s a work in progress, along with shoring up my sense of well-being in the face of adverse circumstances. I love your old stuff, it’s a part of you and it’s also important and beautiful in its honesty. I’m enjoying going through them, and I’ve gotten so much out of them. It’s so important to embrace all our old selves, however tattered or broken they appear. They did the heavy lifting to get us where we are.

Extroverted feeling and confidence : Knowing this is changing my life. Probably why I feel so low when I'm pissed off at somebody

@melissaphillis7247

4 жыл бұрын

Yep, drains you ....

No, you're successful. you are the most successful youtuber who's doing the 16 personality types, your videos are educating ,inspiring and entertaining. You also quadrupled your subscribers in the past 6 months iirc. You are the sun FJ, You shined sunlight to the depressed folks like us, and brightened our days :) oh btw, you're very handsome

Morning Frankie! It is hard for INFJ's to have a lot of confidence, but having a good support system and good group of friends helps as well. We need to have that positive reinforcement or we can spiral down a pit of despair. But I am liking that you are doing videos like this again

@KanashiAtisuto

4 жыл бұрын

Yes 🙌🏻 I know I could use this or distance so much but I can't get either :'D

Absolutely! If your confidence is rooted in other peoples opinions of you then you’re grounded by their opinions. Be free BELIEVE IN YO SELF! Does that make sense? Who knows!

As an ENFJ, my first function is extraverted feeling and last function is introverted thinking. So let's just say I can relate to having confidence swings 😅

Finding you on KZread is one of the best thing of 2019 for me.

If your older videos weren't exactly as they were, we probably wouldn't be here by now. Also, love the humour!

Boy you got all that confidence with that hair looking like god just created it. And damn dude you're seductive without even trying to be. This is such a weird comment/compliment but I guess I was feeling confident 😝 love you, love your message, love your hair, bye.

I really watch infj to help me understand my daughter, and you're helping me so much! Diggin the hair😏

@artemisrain

4 жыл бұрын

That's so awesome. I try to find out the mbti of my friends and family so that we can get along and communicate better as well. :)

@catherinehobbs9623

3 жыл бұрын

@Varshinirao Mutyala thank you ❤️

@catherinehobbs9623

3 жыл бұрын

@Sarah Ali aww thank you so much ❤️

Your old videos are also good, FJ. Deep and insightful. Not only good for fellow infj but also for us non-infjs. But recently when you make those so funny and attractive sketches, your channel become much much more attractive. Your awesome acting skill and great sense of humor are killing.

At one point in my life I started seeing "good enough" as good enough but, perhaps being an INFJ, I was focused more on being "good enough" by other people's standards -- not my own. Even though their standards turned out to be much lower than mine. In other words, I basically lowered my standards to other people's, which led me to feel "good enough." Part of that was beneficial because it humbled me to accept people as they are without judgment. Another part was harmful because my confidence became an offshoot of meeting lower standards (smh). Since then, I've tried to find a balance btwn super high & low standards. This has been a struggle since INFJs tend to shift from one extreme to another. And I've noticed a strange pattern -- the higher the standards, the lower the confidence. Maybe you could talk about this in one of your videos if you have insight on the subject (relationship btwn standards & confidence).

@tennen3387

4 жыл бұрын

Couldnt agree more..

Frank i love these videos that give advice for INFJ's to better themselves, I feel like theres alot of videos explaining why things are the way they are but not on how to improve on the weaknesses or maximize the strengths. Keep it up man! :)

I am an infj. This is sooo helpful.I knew I was vulnerable to criticisms! I will never be like that again.👍💖

Hi, FJ! just want u to know that I need this so much right now and it's perfect timing that you uploaded it. I agree with you. When I was in school, I felt more confident and hopeful. Probably that's the reason why I like studying and took another 1 and a half years studying certificate courses after graduating college. Now that I finished those certificate courses and am faced with the prospect of changing careers, I feel more insecure and unprepared and not ready to pursue my dreams. At the beginning of this year, I said I will develop my confidence. But I'm not sure if I'm improving in that aspect even just a little bit. More recently, I've been worried and anxious and I feel less confident with myself and what I can be.... The other day, my ESFJ friend visited me and gave me a pep talk and I realized I just needed affirmation from others. It somehow put me out of slump. But I cant always be miserable and wait for a long time for somebody to cheer me up. I will go ahead and try to cheer myself up and not to be too hard on myself. thank you for this video 😭

I needed this, as an INFJ-T it can be rough finding that level of confidence. Thanks, FJ! You’re the best!

You can see how analytical you are in your eyes.. someone could easily read you if they just looked into them. But yet you’re a hard read to most people. It’s because they can’t see how multifaceted you are. It throws people off. This was a great video. You’re really good at explaining things. Thank you ☺️

I love your videos from when you first started your channel. Please don’t hate on your early stuff or on Frank with his iPhone setup and his “stupid” cherry lips. He is a part of all of our journeys, with you. Yeah, you seemed depressed, but your vulnerability made me care about you and about what you had to say. The ego needs and is attracted to confidence, but vulnerability appeals to the heart. Humility and struggle are profoundly relatable to an audience and watching you go from 1 Jan 2017 to now is wonderful and encouraging. I hope you find yourself good enough and successful, on your own terms.💖

@Quetzalcoatl-Dragon_97

4 жыл бұрын

"Stupid" cherry lips? .-. I think they're hot.

TL;DR Look at the facts objectively, get out there and do stuff, it's okay to be okay. Sounds super simple on the surface but it's amazing how many years of a person's life it can take to internalize these kind of lessons. Unhealthy Fe in an immature INFJ function stack can just manifest like... this constant torment, distorted vision of yourself, being unable to see yourself objectively at all because you're always looking at how other people see you. And other people are not objective. Like, at all. But also I think it's because we expect a lot of ourselves? Inside somewhere I think most of us feel that we are different and we're supposed to give the world something that reflects that. For a long time I was disappointed in myself that I hadn't gotten further in my life more quickly than I had and I just wasn't the person I had been envisioning. It's kind of amazing how much my confidence has improved in the last year of my life as compared to the first 26. It's not like very much even changed in terms of my progress at conventional markers of success, but I think it was because I really got to know myself in a lot of different ways. I went through the Jungian process of individuation. I went so far in I was afraid the knowledge that I found there would kill me, but when I came back out I was finally able to evaluate my life logically. That no, I hadn't gotten as far yet as I had hoped when I was a teenager full of hopes and dreams. But also I expected things of myself that are usually only granted to people with a lot of privilege, and also I was struggling against obstacles that I didn't even really know were there for a long time. And also I'm a millenial, the world is burning down around me and every time I look at the news I see things have gotten worse faster than I can really adjust to them being this bad. So, y'know, maybe it's okay to not have solved world hunger yet and just keeping afloat is as much as can realistically be expected at times. The Fe being so high in the stack and the Fi being in the 6th slot means the Fi is something we value but know we're not as spectacular at as we want to make ourselves out to be. Most people can't make that sort of analysis, unless they're specifically looking to hurt us. Eventually you get smart enough to stop letting them. You firm up your boundaries. Kick out the people mooching off your empathy and start pouring the type of energy you put into others into yourself and your life instead, and just sort of get on with things. And once you do, you start to feel unstoppable. I think it was Terence McKenna (or was it Jung?) who said, up until you're around 40, your life hasn't even really started. You're just doing research. And I don't know about you, but I can't wait to be 40.

@knmonlinemedia

4 жыл бұрын

I'm 35 and still working on my confidence 😭

@cinotna5938

4 жыл бұрын

How did you manage that? What did you do to get to that knowledge and bring it into your System?

@ForALimitedTimeOnly

4 жыл бұрын

@@cinotna5938 Drugs.

I feel confident when I make people rely on me and actually succeed on helping them.

"Give yourself permission to be good enough" Yesssss

Hey! A fellow INFJ here. I don’t necessarily think that confidence has to be correlated with external factors such as success. It’s a self-assurance in your uniqueness, the things that make you the person you are- whether it be qualities, abilities, etc. It is a form of self-love that everyone should engage in regardless of “the facts” because those external variables are always fluctuating so it should come from inside not out. I know it’s definitely easier said than done !

@M.A.K._

Жыл бұрын

you're expressing exactly what i thought aswell, when watching the video!

I’ve just gone and purchased one of your groovy pink T-shirts. Nice work on the design. People may think i’m an illuminati now and that’s okay with me. 👌

I will never stop watching the old videos, playa. 👿 Those have kept me company on many a late-night grading sesh. Yeah I definitely get my confidence from feedback from others when it comes to work in particular. I’m like Tinkerbell - if I don’t get positive feedback/attention at work, I kinda die inside. 😵 Rough way to live when most of the feedback you get is from teenagers who you’re telling to do stuff they don’t wanna do. Last school year was an absolute nightmare for my self-esteem (as u know). This year, I still feel like I’m looking over my shoulder all the time even though it’s been much better, but the actual internal confidence is building...I think.

@melissaphillis7247

4 жыл бұрын

Teenagers....uh! I think you're amazing to even work with them! I have a 19 and 17 yr old....don't expect positive feedback in any watch....all you get is what you haven't done for them! Have to just know you've done all you can, with the right intentions and make sure you fill your internal cup by doing what you love, for you!

INFJ here, I’ve seen your videos since you started and just a bunch of INFJs used to watch you and I do see a difference in you. I see a happier Frank James. Also I think alike. For me confidence comes from feedback mostly.

I'm on the verge of crying any second now it's just a matter of when... It's just nice and validating hearing the same things I try to tell myself but don't yet fully believe

Dear reader, if you happen to be here breathing on earth since day one, that means you've been approved by Life, by God, to live and to be, to love and to rejoice. Your worth as a human being isn’t dependent on others' approval, nor should it fluctuate depending on your external successes or failed attempts. Hey, you've been given this amazing body with the breath of life to exist and experiment this sphere of reality for just a little time in comparison to eternity! Let nothing or no one take that from you, but be thankful. Know, believe, and trust that Life is on your side, and always seeks your growth, even when it’s dark, scary and lonely. Lastly, I really love the earlier videos because they are so authentic and disarming. You, FJ, have captured something inherent to our human experience, and many can relate to that. Perhaps they don’t have as many views to measure their 'success', but I have no doubt their positive ripple effect extend far greater than what can be calculated.

@lextor4712

4 жыл бұрын

That's so deep and true. Thank you!

Your progression in speaking ability is great to see! Red, is Your color. I stumbled on you 2 years ago, or so, now look at you. Master of INFJ Ceremonies. Go***FJ***! PS: (for what it's worth, I felt successful when I beat the pro at the Tennis club).

I'm an INFJ and I'm STRUGGLING with this hard. I know (in my head) what it means to love/accept myself, but I can't find a way to put it into action, and I feel like it's really cratered my confidence in social settings. The worst thing is when I try to convince others that I know what I'm capable of, my lack of confidence in myself betrays me, and people start to believe the opposite. The worst feeling is spending the second half of the interview trying to convince the other person that I'm qualified for the position, and it feels like an uphill battle.

Oh, geez. I didn't know I needed to hear this today, but my happy tears are telling me I did. My confidence has been at an all-time low these past few years, so the reminder that it's okay to be "good enough" just did wonders for helping me feel a little better. Thank you, Frank! 💕

I'm off work for Christmas, so I can actually view your videos early for once! - I really liked how you explained that confidence comes in waves. I really needed to hear that. I think we all put too much pressure on ourselves to have high self esteem and high self confidence all the time when its perfectly okay to not have it 24/7. I always viewed myself as a person with low confidence but when I look back throughout my life, there are many times when I did feel confident in myself.

I love the progression we see in you through the years in your videos, Frank. This is a good addition to your old school videos. (Repetition + time)/feedback = self confidence. By late 30’s/early 40’s this seems way easier, I guess because as FJ explains, added time and repetition helps.

magic. Cultivating more self-confidence was on the mental agenda the moment I woke up this morning & then *this* . Thanks Frank. I appreciate your acknowledgement of the ebb & flow of confidence. Your rise from the early days is definitely inspirational. I need them, too. haha

I really needed this a year ago!! The people in my work environment at the time made me feel like I was useless, but then went back to previous work environment and was told I was so good at my job.... same me, same role... but how people perceived me really influenced how I saw myself.

FJ I've been here since 10000 subscribers so when you revealed your merch I literally screamed and instantly bought a red hoodie!! I'm honestly so proud and I've always loved watching your videos it's amazing to see the transformation of your channel and I just wish you the best in this new year. As an infj i resonated with a lot of your content and you've really helped me through some challenging times this year. I just want to thank you for all you do!! Much love! ❤

Ok, I’m in love with you😂😂😂. Even your hair looks confident today😊

I'm an ISFJ and I really needed to hear this. Thanks for making this video. I am constantly worrying about what other people are thinking of me and then I don't think properly and make stupid mistakes and it just pulls my confidence down since I feel like I am being judged by others.

I found your channel just a couple weeks ago: came for the humor, subscribed for the INFJ insight. It's great to hear someone else gets how I live. Thanks for your videos!

The truth is, I haven't really felt confident in a while. I'm really glad I watched this! Thank You for reminding not only me but everyone else that we're good enough! + a funny joke 'cause I feel better now: What do you call cutting down a Christmas tree? Christmas chopping!! ahahah.. Ps. Love your

I got my “Stay Cool and Attractive” hoodie a couple days ago. Love it!

I’ve been watching a lot of your infj specific videos lately and I’m continually surprised to hear someone speaking my language so fluently. I feel so understood! I don’t think anyone has ever been an advisor to me before -that’s always my job. But these videos are making me feel well advised and encouraged to grow through the things that are causing me pain at the moment. Lack of confidence being a big one. Thanks FJ!

This year has been a massive journey into self discovery, full of great strides into self confidence, and I'm really feeling it today (my birthday). I feel like I've got you to thank for that on some level, both for the sense of understanding you put out in your vids, and for pointing me towards The Wisdom of Insecurity and Alan Watts in general. Thanks for the help, man. Hope you have an awesome day.

Great vids Frank! Confidence is not a personality trait. Confidence is in the doing, it’s an action, and a state of being. 😌

When I found you, I immediately went back to your first videos and caught up to that day, getting to know you. While you were working through things back then, you were honest, open, vulnerable, in a word - relatable to so many of us. So, while that might not have communicated strong confidence, it spoke to our hearts. The basic premises of this video, as you shared them here today, are the common threads throughout your posts and what we love about you and what resonates with us, no matter where we find ourselves on any given point on any given day on the Confidence Spectrum. God bless you, Frank, and may your Christmas be merry and bright.

This dude is reading my mind lately. Just got a 4.0 this semester and the highest grade on every test I had in each class, yet I feel like there’s no way I can possibly be successful. Was thinking this over and determined that no professor has given me praise, so they must not see some sort of spark in me despite my grades. I feel like an imposter somehow? Gah.

Wowie, there was an ad before this one, success!

Really important message to judge success on your own terms. Thank you.

This is so true. We get self confidence by seeking our own approval rather than the other's (I think not just us infjs but all of us). Like for example, if you are going to do something because you really want to do it, a surge of confidence will come to you. Now if you are going to do something because that is what the people want/like, then you will be anxious because you are trying to meet the standards/approval of the people rather than yourself. That is why it is so important to listen to ourselves and do things that we really want, and by doing this, motivation and self confidence will come. Yes we need people’s approval, but it's because we dont want to disappoint people (especially infjs). I think the solution to this is to align both of them, follow your approval (what you want) and at the same time your shit must not disappoint people (not in a sense you follow their standards, but in a sense you follow your own morals). About the sensory thing (facts of accomplishment), yes, it would feel good that you did something successful and the people like it, but there is still this subtle dissatisfaction inside you and still you feel kinda anxious (yeah because you are trying to meet the approval of the people instead of yours). Normally i feel anxious commenting, but since i sensed the authenticity of your vulnerability, im fucking motivated to help you fj despite of the consequences (self confidence = coming from yourself).

@lextor4712

4 жыл бұрын

Many INFJ do not comment or even delete their comment after posting due to fear of judgement. Keep going your doing great.

...I never needed anybody's help in any way. This is the quality content for which you, Frank, are the one and only youtuber I have chosen to follow. When I watch this type of video, I always feel very uncomfortable in a good way, because you slam to my face a truth that belongs to me intimately, a truth that I always try to avoid every day of my life, in the most disparate ways, but I know well it's there. You have no idea how much you put me in front of myself, with no way out, and how much you helped me to understand myself deeply and to feel less alone in this sad world. On the sidelines, I loved and still am in love with your old videos... I follow you almost from the dawn of your channel, and I won't deny that I really miss the old Frank, he was my favorite. You welcomed me every night in your historic bedroom, with a black coffee or a coke zero, and you kept me company during my sleepless hours, talking only about quality content. You may not fully realize how much you have helped me. Me and many other frisky ponies, I am sure of that. And given that some things are always taken for granted in life, I want to say... thank you. Thanks for everything, F-boi. 💜🐈

I’m ENFP and I totally agree! I naturally put myself out there and “do stuff” and I gain more confidence through that. You gotta do important things to feel important my babies 💞

Thanks FJ. You are the best. I like how you tied finding confidence to working on our inferior functions. Self confidence can be built by weighing the facts objectively. That is using Ti and Se. I don't think we INFJs give ourselves enough credit. We are too focused on what we haven't achieved perfectly an how other people who have their own shortcomings view us. When we learn to objectively focus on all the gifts we have and all we have achieved, we will start to bubble with self confidence. Loved the video. Great job.

I began learning this hard lesson this year. I asked someone at work whether I was meeting expectations & they told me that I should throw that out the window & measure myself up against my own progress. I never had been given that permission until then. I felt like I could finally put my guard down for once. That feeling & encouragement is life changing in some ways. You’re doing the same for many others in this video, Frank. 👍👍

You are proving the power of positive thinking Frank - easier said than done, yet you are killing it! So proud 😊 My very fav video of yours (INFJ brutality) is old now...but totally worth the watch. Think of it like the Beatles...their music changed over time, but the old stuff is still cool AF. 😉

At the end of this video, the Fe-Ti taking reign is intriguing much oh man i feel the same!!

4:42 I'm going to start a marathon of your old videos xD

@fiorellalescano

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah. I know :3

@ozywomandius2290

4 жыл бұрын

They are great, and so heartfelt. 👍🏼

@fiorellalescano

4 жыл бұрын

Perfect description ^^

That’s where I’m at! Thank you. I’m getting ready to venture out and I’m being so critical on myself I’m not getting outside feed back. Now to take the steps... the to open my bizz

I'm an INFJ, and I've been living on my own for a good chunk of time now, and want to say I have found living on my own to be really helpful in this (other than specifically with my career). When you are on your own, you are the only person by which to gauge your success...so you have to learn to determine what success looks like to you yourself, and when you get there, realize it's what you did on your own and you are living the way that works FOR YOU (just like you said, FJ!). This has been a huge confidence builder for me.

@missryecakes

4 жыл бұрын

I've found the same to be true!

Your old videos are also so insightful as they are now!! I appreciate that the old parts of your channel haven’t been purged (therefore I can get the whole FJ School for INFJs experience-old and new, lol)

So this is the first time I'm commenting on a video... ever (haha!) but I felt like I needed to. I found out I was an INFJ a few years ago when I was in college and once I read up on it, everything started to make sense. I always felt like I didn't belong or that something was wrong with me. I found your channel a few weeks ago and I swear, watching you is like watching myself. It's the craziest thing. While I've watched a lot of your videos (including the "old ones" haha!), this one really spoke to me on a personal level. Confidence is something I always struggled with and I can definitely relate to seeking out validation from others. I am in a similar industry (blog/instagram) and I was also a professional guitarist for many years, both of which I have been successful at but for whatever reason, I never felt like I was good enough or that I was deserving of the opportunities that came my way. I am very much a perfectionist and it has held me back from many things including my ability to feel confident in myself. This is something I have been working on this year and watching your growth from your first videos until now is such an incredible thing to witness and it shows me that I can get there too. When you said that you've "always got to be struggling," a light bulb went off. I mean, it's so silly but true! I didn't even realize that I was doing this to myself. I agree that it's so important to give ourselves permission to be good enough... because we are ;-) Thanks so much for helping me see that and for sharing your thoughts. So glad I found your channel!

Frank, you're so good at what you do that types that aren't infj regularly watch your videos! Bam, confidence boosted (hopefully).

Loved how you explained it and I realized that this year has been one tough in learning how to be confident irrespective of what others say/think. It is powerful but requires discipline and commitment with ourselves... that never comes naturally to us, does it?! Love your hair style lately and I just noticed in a close up... what pretty eyes you have!! Staying cool and attractive we all!! 😉😊

Hey Frank I started watching your stuff when you first started. Been so inspiring to watch you grow in some cool ways. I’m 52 and you have helped enlighten me to lots of my INFJ ways lol. Also my son is an INFJ and scary how he looks like you. Thanks for the encouragement! I want to support this channel and just bought a t-shirt. “Stay Cool & Attractive” FJ 😎

I just talked to my mom about my self-confidence issues and i'm glad you uploaded this today. I've been confused lately about my confidence that i feel like i'm not even taking care of myself so those steps you mentioned look like the right path to start. I didn't think of success on my own terms until you said it haha i think it's time i start to give myself some room and appreciate the stuff i've done

“You can’t think your way into confidence” Hits too hard

Hey, thank you for providing me with the answers I have been asking myself for years. This enlightenment and emergence from chaos gives me a solid basis for working on myself. This is relief and finally awareness: Hey, you act differently, your brain is okay, you can make use of it. It's a long way ahead of me, but at least now I'm standing and I'm not floating. At least for now. Thank you.

I am coming across this video at the right time as I coming into my own an healthier INFJ. Since I found this channel and a few others I have realized that I'm a people pleaser to a fault. I never pursued my own endeavors because others wouldnt support my vision. I felt isolated. My growth has come from not wanting to be liked so bad and its not easy at first. I am becoming more and more comfortable with my retreat from people and using that time to do things only I find important. My confidence comes from what I do when Im alone. Before this channel I never really consciously used my ppl hiatuses to define what I want and do what I like. It didnt just make me more confident but more assertive. I dont shy away from conflict and dont get ran over ( as much lol ) because I have me and what I need defined. Your videos and other channels shown me that we our weirdness doesnt have to be a curse we just have to be willing to accept ourselves and find joy when no one is around. That is the confidence I got from your videos. Thank you for your channel Frank.

Thanks Frank for these kind of videos on INFJ. I would love to see more.

Frank, seeing you grow had been an encouragement and a blessing, it gives me hope in building my own confidence, I truly enjoyed this video, thanks

I wish i could like this video more than once because it's amazing ! From the british accent in the intro to the great advice that i needed the most..i can't thank you enough Frank

i've been struggling with this issue for some time now, i'm 22, infj. Today i've been wondering about this subject and now, thanks to you, i have a base to start with, so thank you very much

This is my favourite video I've seen to help me as an INFJ. Thank you 🙏

Loved this video! And your older stuff too! Even back then you’ve always been able to explain things that really resonated with me. It’s been fun to watch a fellow INFJ grow 😊.

thanks Frank. I've found literally all you videos useful and enlightening. even the old ones! I think most infjs vary in confidence based on our exp. I have people tell me they think I'm extrovert. all the time. im social but it's just way exhausting and I always felt I had to be a different person nearly everywhere I went. I couldn't keep up with everyone's image of me.

Confidence is TRUST in yourself......it doesn't matter what you do everything is going to be alright. Why? Because we grow everyday and perfection doesnt exist.......and you cant live through the perception of other people. ENTJ perspective. Now I understand why INFJs are always depressed....if i say oh you are ugly then you will believe you are??? Not good, not the correct way to go....but at the end of the day everybody does whatever they want. You are the creator of your path.

hey i wanna boost the confidence of your past self and say that i really really like your older videos as well. even then you were relatable, funny, and very human. watching your videos made me think about new things and feel understood

love you man. thanks for posting

I saw your first video when I joined your channel and your progress surprised me. We need to be good enough as a perfectionist but step by step. Thanks for great video 🙏🌷