🔴 Here's another video you'll like: Unhealthy INFJ: 7 Signs You're an Unhealthy INFJ kzread.info/dash/bejne/c6t1ttZuj9G-frA.html ⭐

@lindawilson7035

5 жыл бұрын

Frank James I am an INFJ You are truly Amazing and describe everything perfectly. Good Luck to you!💙

@jennifergablah1422

5 жыл бұрын

Perfectionist paralysis. This kind of keeps us a step backwards. May be.

@SantanaBanana47

5 жыл бұрын

I do this all the time. I think of all these awesome projects or ideas, but will never start it until I brainstorm and plan out how to make it perfect. Which usually takes a really long time or me realizing I'm not good enough to do it.

@hardrok312

4 жыл бұрын

You're awesome Frank James, I absolutely love your videos. I am an INFJ, Empath, Heyoka, scapegoated black sheep. So if you can imagine what that'd be like, then you'd be imagining me. LOL. I'm so dyslexic when I try to explain anything of importance so I've been working on a book, if you know any good editors let me know. Hit me up on Facebook, if you find me as interesting as I do to you. 😘

@2esquared

4 жыл бұрын

You are so right Frank- the ideas and thoughts and especially dreams in my head are so fantastic and perfect that I never get to do them, I don't even take a first step. It's very frustrating.

"It's a perfect idea cause it's not real." - Frank James That one hit me hard!

@ireneedmonds4712

4 жыл бұрын

Damn I had to watch this video twice

Yep. Half the time I can't even leave a comment on a video because of over thinking.

@jasminemariedarling

6 жыл бұрын

hieuwey Lol thanks, I think? Checked out your channel, nice! I love watching other INFJs!!!

@kellylaher7512

6 жыл бұрын

me too!

@bloominwild7

6 жыл бұрын

Me too but I do get it done quite a lot of the times...just takes me like 30 minutes lol

@dew3422

6 жыл бұрын

I thought I'm the only one 😂😂

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Jasmine Marie I tend to leave really Loooooooong comments. I need to tell a whole long story. Sometimes I'll have the urge to comment, realize how long it would take, and just go Nope, And keep my fingers shut.

Literally why I'm single, childless, and going to die alone. Two thumbs up!

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

This made me laugh so much because it's like something I would write

@-csotanypure-5106

3 жыл бұрын

Hi, you said all my fears do we know each other? :D

@anninazuber7715

3 жыл бұрын

Yep, same :D

@yajnialla641

3 жыл бұрын

How about you hide your infj and got a girlfriend. Without telling her that you were an infj because you did not know it 10 years ago, got married and had a child. Girlfriend turned wife and notices you have the symptoms of infj, decided to leave you with your child. Now you are alone, watched this video, identified you are an infj and realized that you are not the one who is experiencing this amazing gift.

As a fellow INFJ: When I listen to you talk, I feel like I’m listening to myself talk about myself. Your monologues literally feel like exactly how my brain works when I’m extroverting the feels.

@yazajag

3 жыл бұрын

@cheri moya Same here, I thought the exact same thing. It was like listening to a psychic and I even said many of these things to myself this week.

@melanyancat5687

3 жыл бұрын

Same

"better done than perfect" was my first small step towards leaving perfectionism behind!

@jlmadd

2 жыл бұрын

I left it behind too

Good luck writing any kind of academic paper as an INFJ. It's a real struggle.

@emdiap

4 жыл бұрын

😔

@91splamy

3 жыл бұрын

I feel you! I sucked at that part of school.

@ItsTooLatetoApologize

3 жыл бұрын

Not even to save my life. 😭

@CarissaJenkins

3 жыл бұрын

omg honestly!!

@yumnatyer901

3 жыл бұрын

This. Oh my word.

INFJ writer here. Had to pause this every half-minute because everything was so ridiculously on point.

@aliciag6973

5 жыл бұрын

Same😂

@fayz-dayz

5 жыл бұрын

Me too😫😭

@bon80

5 жыл бұрын

Loser here

@yndygo2660

4 жыл бұрын

oh mY GOD SAME. I KEPT CREDITING IT TO WRITERS BLOCK BUT IM JUST AN INFJ BISH

@lauram8973

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, this is why writing is cathartic and excruciatingly painful.

So, while I no longer worry about perfectionism, I do procrastinate a lot. Is procrastination perfectionism's ugly cousin? Hmmm, I thought I was past perfectionism. Is procrastination a passive aggressive form of perfectionism? I have Perfectionism Paralysis Procrastination Passive Aggressiveness :-) Shit, so much for being older and wiser.

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

Ha ha, yeah I think you're right about procrastination being the ugly cousin. It's like perfectionism affects things you want to do, but procrastination affects the things you *have* to do. Hmmm I may make a video about it...

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Frank James We want it to be perfect, but we know it won't ever be perfect, so not only do we procrastinate, sometimes we don't bother even trying because we know we will fail. Several years ago I heard the perfectionist and procrastination put together into a made up word like Spork: It's Procrastifectionist.

@Viking102938

6 жыл бұрын

Procrastination is the apathetic result of perfectionism. It sounds something like "even if it comes out the way I want it, I probably wont like it, anyway." If perfectionism is a form of anxiety related to results, procrastination is a form of depression linked to the method, Perfectionism says "you must be this tsll to ride", whereas procrastination says "the ride probably isnt that funanyway". I think theres a tendency to be hard on ourselves, because theres this public pressure to do something that means something to others (and Im not saying that as a bad thing, but we live in a culture, i feel, thats a little too ready to see the results of your efforts, while shunning the smell of persperation -- we have the term"try hard" in Western culture thats the perfect example of how engrained this is in most minds). Procrastination is the sound of a well running dry -- you dont feel inspired, but pressured, the tick-tock of passing life-moments spurring you on. My advice? Dont double down on the guilt, but look for what legitimately inspires you. Get a little Ne and explore some concepts, rather than just trying to hit the bullseye. Doodle, dont draw Tinker, but dont invent And when you find something that wakes you up in the middle of the night and leaves you unable to falla asleep again, thats when you know youve hit the spring at the bottom of the well.

@AmyLouiseYT

6 жыл бұрын

Recovering Soul I am pretty sure I have that.... all the time. It's frustrating

@Anonymous-lt4jk

5 жыл бұрын

I know. I really dont want to grow up. Literally right now this is all too much like I have deadlines and might have to start a job and literally I'm afraid of like doing anything because of all this. It's the worst and currently I dont even know how to speak to like my best friend in the whole world because shes thinking I'm crazy coz I just wanan talk to her but everything I say is never liek right

It feels like we are friends and you've made this video for me. I have been struggling with the INFJ Perfectionist Paralysis for my whole life... It gets worse when I'm depressed... When I'm depressed It feels like I just want to ignore everything and everyone and I just want to stay in my bed for the whole day.​

@bebekeykey

6 жыл бұрын

Yes, me too!!

@Bubbles-ug3vr

5 жыл бұрын

I swear I’ve never related moreeee! Yessssss this is exactly how i ammmm

@osamatahir1149

5 жыл бұрын

Damn! it’s like I am seeing myself in the mirror this words resembles me .men I feel u just take it easy

@melanie.l6282

5 жыл бұрын

Me too!! i worry all the time i am going to make a fool of myself and it terrorize me!! it's so hard...................this perfectionist part of me makes me hate me because i am not perfect the world is not perfect..................;so how can i make perfect stuff??

@evalaylatusstatistik1710

4 жыл бұрын

Disconnected from the world

I think the problem lies in translating the FEELINGS into words

@CarissaJenkins

3 жыл бұрын

this!!!

Damnnnn this is legitimately describing my life. I always just considered myself a lazy perfectionist, because I wouldn't even try to go for my ideas but this is definitely why. My expectations are just too high that I dont even want to try because itll never be as perfect as what I envisioned. I love this channel!!

This is me. Gotta fight against this sh*t. Fail forward and all that. We need to be humble and allow ourselves to look stupid, silly, a failure, be judged by others, grt rid of false pride...

INFP messy perfectionist. I start projects and get frustrated and give up 5 hours in because I feel like I'm a talent-less piece of trash. I always say I will come back to them later and i never do.

@JAMBERJ

5 жыл бұрын

Same

@randymossfan9883

4 жыл бұрын

Lmaoooo

Fellow coke cancer boi here. I got this quote in exchange for your quote: "What nobody tells people who are beginners… is that all of us who do creative work, we get into it because we have good taste. But there is this gap. For the first couple years you make stuff, and it’s just not that good. It’s trying to be good, it has potential, but it’s not… your taste is why your work disappoints you… We know our work doesn’t have this special thing that we want it to have. We all go through this… It is only by going through a volume of work that you will close that gap, and your work will be as good as your ambitions." Ira Glass

@mbw6785

5 жыл бұрын

enso that’s awesome

@redburningfires

4 жыл бұрын

It's the first couple of years that I would love to skip, so I could be at the accomplished level of doing artwork. I'll think on this.

All. Day. Long. ANALYSIS PARALYSIS is the phase my therapist used. I have so many projects I've thought of that I wear myself out planning them in my mind. This goes on and on and on...the research, the order of the steps, the sudden tightness in my chest, the nausea in my stomach, I'm so tired now, I need to lie down. Tomorrow, I'll start tomorrow.

@uyentbj

10 ай бұрын

U literally just described my life 😂

Thank you for outlining the exact reason I have never made a video... Fe tells me to do it, Ni knows it would inevitably suck and not be perfect, and Ti gets out of it by being overwhelmed with the thought of editing.

@kellylaher7512

6 жыл бұрын

joubinha333 your explanation is perfect!

@bebekeykey

6 жыл бұрын

Yasssss!!! Completely this comment. 110%

@jlryder97

6 жыл бұрын

Ha! Also aptly explains why my living room looks the way it does. Unrealistic goal for tonight: clean living room. Ni/Ti loop I'm about to enter: Blade Runner 2049. Again.

@joubinha333

6 жыл бұрын

jlryder97 Sometimes I have to invite someone over just to give myself enough motivation to clean. Lol

@kellylaher7512

6 жыл бұрын

joubinha333 🤣🤣🤣🤣Yes!

"That's the only way to get the perfection, ironically, is to go through the imperfection." Love it!!!

Progression not perfection. I still struggle with this. 🌹

@TheCloverAffiliate12

6 жыл бұрын

Angel blessings Now that you mention it, I had a therapist tell me almost the exact same thing: "Progress, NOT Perfection. Take One Step at a Time. BREATHE." (Stylized how she wrote it.) I'm getting it as a tattoo to help with coping. Thank you for the reminder.

@domedweller4202

6 жыл бұрын

Glad I was able to remind you.I was thinking of painting this on a piece of wood.Progression Not Perfection.😌

@TheCloverAffiliate12

6 жыл бұрын

Angel blessings I could definitely see that~

I love your butchered quote haha I totally agree with everything you've said. INFJs should embrace their greatness and just keep moving forward. "Done is better than passable" 👌

@Bellasie1

5 жыл бұрын

I actually liked the "butchered" quote better than the original one, it felt perfectly ;-) concise.

This INFJ perfectionism is a strange thing. Like you said, part of it is fear that reality is not going to line up with your own vision. But I noticed in myself that, at the same time, that there is also a fear that reality is actually exactly going to manifest as I envisioned it. Like a double-edged cluster fuck, lol. It is because I think that us Ni-users we actually want our reality to kind of line-up with our visions, but not perfectly, because that would be boring. And there would be nothing else to do when we do actually achieve what we set out to achieve. We actually do need that friction of reality, even though in our minds we initially do not like that friction at all. You gotta embrace it. Set your aim point and let it roll, have fun in seeing life throw you curve balls. And have fun in trying to catch them, and don't be too discouraged when you miss a few. Life would be so boring if every ball thrown at you was perfectly straight and exactly how you want them to be thrown. Just don't be so harsh on yourself. Life really isn't trying to screw you over, it's trying to give you a challenge. Something to play with.

@lee1612k2

3 ай бұрын

Awesome

I call it analysis paralysis.

@rainofcali

4 жыл бұрын

Lara O'neal Ralph Smart does you mean

@ireneedmonds4712

4 жыл бұрын

Oh my god I freaking love this, I'm using this. FJ needs some merch w this fr

“Little did I know I was in fact butchering the quote” had me choking on my salad hahaha

Thank you for this! I now have an actual line for when people ask me out and I am totally uninterested, "I'm sorry, no. I don't want to go out with you. I am an INFJ and you don't live up to my imagination. Thank you though, I appreciate the thought."

wow thanks... INFJ PhD student here. Writer’s block everyday

@lillimarl2022

3 жыл бұрын

Do you have any methods that help you with this? I am still an undergrad, but thinking about doing a phd sometime in the future and sometimes I am so afraid I will destroy all my potential :(

@thejungianastrologer

3 жыл бұрын

@@lillimarl2022 a PhD, if you chose a field aligned with your soul, could only illuminate your potential

@lillimarl2022

3 жыл бұрын

@@thejungianastrologer Thank you, I think I did, I am studying history

I love (the idea of) you.

@almostafarm6394

5 жыл бұрын

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA

@madridejosryuchan

5 жыл бұрын

I have been told exactly that by a former boyfriend. He said he wants to marry someone like me, but not me. My world crashed when he said that. 😔

@marktravels9601

5 жыл бұрын

I have been told that too. She said that I was in love with the " idea of her ". I didn't understand it at the time. I do now.

@ireneedmonds4712

4 жыл бұрын

I had to cackle at this one lol

@sliverhalo9286

3 жыл бұрын

This is the most accurate thing ever

As a fellow INFJ, I'd gladly buy your draft and would probably find it beautiful. We usually shy away from releasing what we write because we find it crappy as perfectionists when, in reality, it's probably very decent and enjoyable.

@kevincoffee3238

5 жыл бұрын

Yep. I never write fiction. Wrote a short story, thought it sucked, stuck it on the shelf. Always remembered it. Ten years later, re-read it, damn, it's quite good. Imagine that. Way better than I remember.

The Perfectionism is the immature or unrealistic attitude behind a rigid approach to life. Although it can sometimes be a fuel towards uncompromising vision seen through to realisation or activated manifestation, it may more often risk rendering the creator into a paralysis and stay stuck into a limited limbo of the theoretical. It may very well be a beautiful and sincerely and genuinely preference or vision, however, in over-fastidutude, it equates to nothing being created in the outside shared world, and hinders more than helps. Then before you know it, you're a middle aged still-self-proclaimed recovering-perfectionist, who has finally woken up, only to realise that they've spent all their formative and prospective years and decades, having half lived, and only in the astral... Noticing how their 'being uncompromising of one's vision' *didn't* get exactly help them and their dreams anywhere.. Only blindly shackling one to sit on the fence one's entire life, in a dream of eternal indecision, never tackling head on the negotiation between the petty pipe dream preferences of the hypothetical, and the other side: the place of both accepting and committing to what is, in this world, and to finally opening one of the still-open wonderful doors ~ taking some active steps to dare to live in all it's imperfection as is ~ To living life more fully... Good luck to all us INFJ's, and everyone...

Two of the greatest writers were believed to be INFJs: Tolstoy and Dostoevsky. Once INFJs can express their ideals on paper, they can delve so deeply into human behavior and experience. Looking forward to you finishing your book!

Your insight into infjs is incredible. When you started talking about delaying action to learn and then achieve a goal for “10/20 years” to tackle it when you’re better skilled or knowledgeable, i was dumbfounded. It is a terrible habit that has in some ways helped me achieve but im sure has held me back even more. Action and failure are probably even more important than absorbing knowledge. You can only learn so much by listening and reading, when you start putting it into action is when class really begins.

story of my life. even though Carl Jung never actually identified this kind of state as an actual Archetype in itself, i found it very helpful to do so on my own. The Imperfect Paralysis Archetype (i see it as a man sitting on the floor with a perfect picture in his mind, looking down at the very imperfect object of it in his hands). people so often think i am the epitome of laziness because of this. i have come up with so many ideas for short stories/writing but because i must have every detail worked out in my imagination/mind first i wont get to the first page... but i may tell someone about it and they will say "are you crazy that is an awesome idea just fraking do it!". i will paint 10 paintings and trash like 9 of them every time over simple things like a color not drying the way i wanted it. and when i had more friends, they would often say "i want that one!" just so i wouldnt throw it away... Frank, you really do a good job explaining the metaphors INFJ's see in life that make it difficult for others to communicate well. and you also do a good job painting an image of certain Archetypes that INFJ's gravitate to. though i notice you don't seem to mention them in that way... do you ever listen to Jung talk about the Archetypes at all? i know i mention them a lot, but it is because they have helped me so much. also Frank, i am terribly sorry if my *grammar* disturbs you... hahahahaha. but i have severe neck damage and have for years and it has really messed the nerves/nervous system all down my arms and in my hands... i cant keep up typing with what my mind is giving me to say because it makes my hands and fingers go numb/tingly, and just really weak. it also gave me heart failure which can make it harder to focus, but i don't see it as some awful thing so no feeling bad from anyone *please*?

I just need to express the epiphany I just had. I am an INFJ, like most of us here, and I used to wonder why I constantly wonder why I always come back to watch Frank. I know that INFJ's are birds of the same feather but used to never really acknowledge the drastic similarities between us dodo's. (Yes, I know they are extinct. It's an exaggeration to show how rare we are.) It's like myself is explaining myself to myself and I am so grateful. I now know myself more than I'd ever think possible because of him. So, thank you Frank.

Yes!!!!!! Never get it off the ground because we lack everything we need in order to make into the perfection in our mind! Every.damn.day.......

Frank! Finding you on KZread has been a Godsend. Kismet. Nirvana. Whatever. It's been REALLY HELPFUL SO DO NOT STOP DOING THESE VIDEOS, PLEASE!! You verbalize my thinking. You talk about things that matter deeply to me. You make me realize that there are other people in the world who think, feel, and process life in ways that are like my ways. Thank you for helping me know that I am not alone in my perception of this world. Keep up this good work! You're doing a great job!

"The only way to get to the perfection is to go through the imperfection" I love that. Thanks!

I commend you on finishing your manuscript. I can't get my outline where I want it... that's always been the case with any writing I've done. In high school and college I would receive so much praise from teachers... always "Bravo," "Well Done," and lots of exclamation points. When I was a sophomore in high school I was accepted into a highly competitive "Gifted in the Arts" summer program at OSU with my writing. Thousands of kids from all over the state applied and only maybe 10-15 in each artistic category got selected. Yet I have never seen any piece of writing through to completion beyond a school paper. Nor have I ever stuck with the violin lessons, guitar lessons, art classes or any other endeavor. And that summer institute? I quit within the first week because I felt like I wasn't good enough. Other kids would have killed to get in and I quit? Your video isn't the first time I've come across the idea of a "perfectionist paralysis" but it is certainly helpful to have a reminder as I work through this new book outline.

FJ you are so cute 😁 Hugs from a lazy, perfectionistic, messy weirdo INFJ!

"Done is better than passable." This is like divine knowledge right now and what I need to realize. Thanks so much.

I'm an INFP but a lot of things you're saying are really similar to what I experience. I also tend to develop and try to perfect concepts in my own head, and afraid to bring them to reality because I'm afraid they won't be like how I imagined them. I often feel not ready to express them, and when I do, they turn out to still be abstract blobs. I guess maybe the main difference is in how Ne, as opposed to Ni, form the ideas in the first place, because I tend to bounce around in my mind to gather knowledge and experiences (often blurry) that would support my ideas. I've always had a difficult time understanding what Ni and Ti exactly are, and your recent videos help explain a lot! But at the same time I'm sort of confused with how INFPs and INFJs have such similar experiences when they don't share a single main cognitive function.

@Kim44422

6 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/gX18uceYkZOnn6g.html Leon (INFP) explained that very well...

This is one I totally identify with. Creating is like climbing a mountain, all the overthinking and vision of how it ‘should’ be

This resonates so deeply within me. This is a huge problem I have and why I've been stuck in the same place for the past few years. I will start something, and not finish it or throw it away because it isn't the perfect thing I imagined.

In high school, took a shops class which was incredibly stressful. Part of it was a machine class where I was making a waterproof match container. Drove the teacher insane with questions, kept going over the procedure while most of the class was half done. My teacher: just start and try!!!! 😂

It's like you're talking to me directly. Thanks for your videos, they make so much sense to me and make me feel a bit better about myself knowing I'm not the only one who feels and experiences things this way

I'm almost crying. I can't believe you understand me so well. I'm a writer too and I've definitely experienced this. I like to tell people that I have genius ideas and terrible execution of them. I also compose music and sometimes it's even worse. I've only ever finished one piece of music and when I showed it to the orchestra teacher at my school to see if the Philharmonic orchestra would play it he was completely unimpressed. I was crushed. I've definitely been feeling paralyzed because of my perfectionism for a long while now. I'm trying to stop, but it's hard--I feel worthless when what's on the paper doesn't match what's in my brain. If you could just look into my head and see all that's in there--it would be so beautiful, so perfect... But instead I'm mediocre.

This is meee. I have all these ideas but I never even attempt, because I have such high expectations. These expectations cause a lot of self doubt, to the point that I just feel paralyzed. I even struggle with day to day things like cleaning my house. Things become so overwhelming that I just give up and kind of ignore and isolate. I'm also afraid of failure, so just this video makes sooo much sense to me.

I love the saying “done is better than passing.” I can use this when I have to write reports at work- I will rewrite something 10 times when the reality is that it doesn’t matter because the people “auditing it will tell me how they want it worded. (Edited 3 times.)

Hey Frank, I just wanna say that I do enjoy your videos. Watching them makes me feel like I'm weirdly understood. This is probably one of my fav vids of yours.. only coz Perfectionist Paralysis is something that I suffer most in my daily life. Also, there's nothing much for me to say bout the vid itself, only because I agree with everything you've said. Thanks again and I'm looking forward for the next one. Good day. :)

Same for me. I began writing when I was 12. Wrote a novel at 19...took me 2 years. Publishers liked it, but I couldn't come up with an ending. That was 1990. Still have it mouldering and unfinished.

I am an INFJ and struggled so much with perfectionist paralysis. I was afraid to do anything because it wasn't the right time, the right feeling, the right anything... I never did anything and it made me feel worthless and depressed. It's because my imagination and creativity is so vast that reality hits me like a truck. This is with my art... I have an idea in my head and when I go to draw it---not at all what I imagined. I feel upset because I think my failure means I'm a failure. I base my self-worth and identity in what I do... but you're so much more than that. If it failed IT failed YOU did not.

This is beyond spot on. This is the best explanation of what it really is like to go through it. I'm constantly working on just doing it and trying to get out of my head. Progress not perfection has been my mantra for the past two years.

This video has left me speechless. ¡Maravilloso! 👌🏼

This makes so much sense. I can't do the things I want because I think that it's going to hurt me if I try and fail so I am left with lots of ideas and dreams and i can't start the action process. I hate it so much! I made lots of mistakes in the past by trying and it hurt really bad. And now, I can't even start because I remember how it hurt and I am scared! There's this constant dilemma in my life and I can't get out of this loop! I am learning though.. learning myself and who I am more. That really really helps! Thank you!

Yes! Fail fast and fail often. I notice my perfectionist tendencies come out when my anxiety increases. I start micromanaging and fixating on countless details. I have had to learn to let my mind rest and to also extrovert my problem solving, so that I do not become overwhelmed and paralyzed. that Ni-Ti loop narrows our options and I need to remember that other perspectives and outcomes possible and available. Expressing myself and getting others perspectives helps me overcome that narrowing. I have also been learning to give myself and others more grace in their mistakes/less than ideal choices. Being a perfectionist has kept me from so much and blocked me from becoming my true & best self. I have always wanted to be good at art, to have some sort of innate talent. My teachers would often see my talents (especially in writing but also in my ability to adapt and learn many subjects easily) but I could never see what they did. Big time imposter syndrome. I have wanted to be a talented artist since I was a child. I wished I had the talent and skill to draw or paint; and I would try over and over throughout the years, but never stick with it when I realized I wasn’t living up to that ideal in my head. I’ve let go of needing to be perfect (in those regards at least) and now I write and draw unabashedly. I like to try all different kinds of creative mediums, and creativity is a necessary and joyful part of my daily life now. :)

You spoke my life. Thank you so much. This is helping me a lot. I’m a writer, always under a pseudonym as the attention would kill me, but my best ideas and plots actually never make it onto paper. I tell my INTP husband the stories and he loves it, but when it comes to bringing them to life on paper, I am so super respectful of the characters I created, that I feel I can do neither them nor their story justice. I’m going to start right now. I wish I were as wise as you obviously are at a young age, but it is never too late to learn. Thank you.

Frank, your INFJ videos are the only ones that really resinate with me. Thank you so much for these, it honestly makes me feel like I’m not alone 💜

I’m so thankful I found this channel oh my goodness I’ve been struggling with the writing thing for so long!!!!

This content is excellent 👌🏻 my homie Frank you’re the best

OMG!!!! SO Freaking related! Like finally I found someone that can articulating what's in my mind and the good thing is find its reasons!! Thx frank for making this video

When we allow ourselves to "fail" we begin to no longer fear it -- and that is when we become truly free. Also, this quote: "There is no such thing as failure, only feedback." Also, I'm a perfectionist and used to see it as a curse, but have slowly learned to tame it. I have "failed" many times and have grown the most from those experiences. I still don't like the feeling, but am not afraid of it as much because i know there's always a golden nugget of wisdom being imparted. I say, bring it. I want all the golden nuggies. Also, thank you for your golden nug.

Thank You so much for helping me Understand myself and my struggles with your personal Honesty. You are so awesome.

It's feels good to know that their is someone who understands exactly what I've been going through. You have enlightened me on quite a few things that I didn't even realize about myself

I love this and it rings very true, especially to how I used to be when I was in my very early 20s. (I even wrote a song about writing songs that was like, "What if the world could hear it all, before I was ready for the world to hear it all?") I have to say I appreciate my position as an educator, where I teach the same lesson 4 or 8 times in a week. By the 8th time around, I've worked through all the kinks in delivering the lesson. By the following year, everyone gets a great lesson. On the flip side, my perfectionism completely paralyzed me when I came back to work at the end of March after a long health leave. My program was not what it was and I wasn't afforded the mental (or physical-no classroom) space to work through how I could limp through the rest of the school year. One of the tools that has helped me immensely with the perfectionism paralysis is making music. (Sorry it's all I ever talk about.) Especially with other people. They are depending on me to do the job, and while it's great if it's perfect, it's still better than someone not sitting there playing the part. Thanks again for a great morning think sesh!

@ani_n01

6 жыл бұрын

Stephanie Douglass what broke your barrier in terms of writing and sharing it please help? I have a little trauma from my teenage years my mum would always find my poetry and say horrible things about it and I would end up feeling ashamed and judged for the way I think. I'm ashamed of way I form lines and progress with topic more than of content itself at this point. I'm thinking to start anonimus podcast to read /rap my things to people who don't know me, do you have any other ideas how to let go of.... Being ashamed of myself?

@StephanieDouglassMusic

6 жыл бұрын

Sharon is there Wow Sharon, I am so honored that you would ask my point of view on this subject. It is probably one of the hardest (if not THE hardest) feelings to shake and can take so many forms. I love that you are planning to broadcast your words, that's an important first step. Thinking about this only briefly, here are the two tools that stand out as helping me the most, and it just depends on what form the shameful feeling is taking. When it gets very bad and I start thinking negative things about *myself*, my job is to counter that with at least 3 things that are great about me so I can convince the mean voices that those thoughts just aren't true. When I get paralyzed with fear about honoring my *craft,* I remind myself that everything is a process and nothing is ever really "final." Your product is more of a snapshot of what you could express at the time. You can reliably improve as long as you take honest assessments of your growth. But there's nothing to assess if you don't have anything made. The beginning part is usually the most fun and exciting because you'll see big improvements, really quickly. Staying disciplined and committing to having *something* on a regular basis will reap deeper, intrinsic rewards. Best of luck! 💛💛💛

@ani_n01

6 жыл бұрын

Stephanie Douglass thank you so much for your answer it's so comforting to hear that someone understands... Can't share myself with people and can't live without that part of me either. Thank you so much again it's 7 am here, you inspired me to be productive today. Best of luck with your work🌹💜

@eireannleigh4963

6 жыл бұрын

Dear Sharon is there, Good for you!!!

@kimpastabowl1058

5 жыл бұрын

Eireann Leigh If we don’t listen to criticism then how can we grow? I heard an interesting perspective on this from Jordan Peterson. The example was say your dad full on yells at you, telling you everything you’ve done wrong. 90% was wrong and harsh but 10% was true and that’s why it stung so much. If we strive to pursue the truth and grow, I think we’ll all live more fulfilled lives and be able to better help others accomplish the same. 💫

I've had so many ideas I have lost count, and, I just might use that term to tell myself, being done is better than perfect. (LOL) I want to write, draw, sing, and dance about the Human Condition. You have my admiration to even do your vlogs. BTW you do a most excellent work with your vlogs.

"Done is better than perfect" is exactly what I needed to hear. This has held me back my entire life from accomplishing what I really want to do. I even printed it out to put up at home...but spent forever looking for the perfect font to print it in...

I absolutely love this Mr. James! Such great words of wisdom, hard to implement but well worth the endeavor... I relate on so many levels, from the soda to the book writing... keep it up! Your introspective/retrospective talks are so very helpful, enlightening, and encouraging. Blessings!

Frank, you make me laugh! What you say in this video is so true of me too. In my mind I'm a writer. However, I can't seem to get an idea together long enough to formulate an outline. Kudos to you for getting your first draft done. I have watched videos and read advice from writers who actually write and they say the first draft is usually a POS and they rewrite many times before they have something written that is moderately close to what they want. Don't despair. I suggest you go back to it again when you are ready and work on it some more. Is your book an INFJ comedy too? LOL

Thank you for posting this, I am going to show it to my daughter who is very bright and capable but has mild Aspergers and really struggles with Perfectionist Paralysis and Social anxiety as well as generalized anxiety, which leads to depression, I have mentioned your videos to her and hope she is watching because I really think you are very encouraging. I am very curious to see if she is an INFJ type or maybe INTP because there are so many things that seem like a description of her. She has all the lovely traits as well.

These videos are really helpful. I keep finding ones that seem to be just what I need to hear

Thank you for clarifying what perfectionism actually is! You hit the nail on the head with what I struggle with. This even answers why I prefer realism when creating art- realistic portraits or photography.

this is ME lmao. also I feel ya on the soda. it is so bad but tastes so good.

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

sooo goooooood

@knmonlinemedia

6 жыл бұрын

my vice is pepsi zero (or diet pepsi if i can't find it). i shouldn't touch the stuff but it tastes awesome

I understand how hard it must be for you to keep making videos. I wanted to let you know that I really appreciate you taking the time to make them. The way that you explain everything is so accurate. Better than I have managed to so far. Thanks!

"It's a perfect idea because it's not real." me irl

you are a very eloquent speaker :-) I hope you will make a video about our inferior function (Se) since nobody really talks about it and I want to understand how Se works in us and thank you for making videos... it makes me feel being completely understood...

@ElusvOptmst1

6 жыл бұрын

@Jam Paz You need to checkout Bo Miller, another INFJ. He explains a lot about Se and how it works for us INFJs.

@pearlpaz3937

6 жыл бұрын

thank you :)

I just recently found your channel, & I truly appreciate your insights. Seriously wish I would have known these things much earlier in life. Grateful that you are able to help INFJ's of all ages. Thank you!

Thank you so much! In 3 of your videos (in a row, lol) I have learned more about how my personality works than collective years of Googling. You're very good at this!

I recently discovered that I am an INFJ and also recovering perfectionist lol.

Why are you so charming? 😂💘💘💘

THANK YOU!!! A million times thank you. I have been so lost most of my life feeling I was weird or I was damaged some how. I stumbled across your videos for the first time a few days ago and have watched several now and in ALL of them you hit the nail on the head. I took the M/B test years ago but no one ever explained it to me. I have been going through such horrible depression my whole life and I watched that one video INFJ rarest personality type in the world and cried through it and watched it again. I have been trying so hard to fix something inside me that wasn’t broken I was just drawn this way. And It was such a relief (I am 50) so you can imagine a lifetime of not understanding who I was or why I did things the way I do etc. and for you to explain everything so clearly I just watch and weep thinking wow you are amazing and I wish I had watched this when I was 16. Thank you so very much for being you and for the videos. They really are a game changer for me.

I'm so happy I found your channel!!!! 💜I've watched all of your videos in record time (weird? lol)😝You have no idea how much you've helped me!! Thank you @Frank James 😊💕

Ohhh can you read an exerpt from your book?

I guess i'm in love with you🙈

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Ece Gülşan I think what might be happening with everyone who says they love him, is that they love themselves, and they see themselves in him. As rare as INFJ's are, I don't expect I will ever meet one in real life, or I might not recognize them. Good thing I'm old enough to be his mother, but he is adorable.

@racheldahliamusic

6 жыл бұрын

All us girls are. And none of us stand a chance lmao.

@ontolog5871

5 жыл бұрын

@@racheldahliamusic I am too, and I'm not even gay or bi 🤔

@kylejohnson8302

5 жыл бұрын

Damn. I thought it was just me.

@adonaimakhofola2696

3 жыл бұрын

@@recoveringsoul755 Mother, you have explained exactly why I love Frank so much. I used to wonder why I love to watch his videos just to hear him talk, while simultaneously learning about myself more. Now I realise it is because I'm an INFJ, like him, and it feels like it is myself explaining myself to myself!

You continue to be an inspiration for me. Oh! and I love the outro music on this one!

It's so amazing how i feel understood by watching your videos. Thank you for EXISTING💜

Kinda random, but do any of you guys clench your jaw tight and grind your teeth at night? I thought it was from caffeine but not anymore.

Why, why, whyyyyyy...are you drinking battery acid? 😩☹️

@narcsinart7179

6 жыл бұрын

battery acid has a ph below 1 , cola is around 2 and a half

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Celine And aluminum is found in the brains of dementia patients (post mortem of course). I drink water, or tea, sometimes coffee with hot chocolate i a reuseable thermal mug. Actually I drink distilled water because there isn't fluoride in there.

@racheldahliamusic

6 жыл бұрын

Cos sugar is far more toxic than artificial sweeteners.

@mbw6785

5 жыл бұрын

Because all my batteries are good and this shit has a use-by date

Yes you are right. Gotta get rid of the fear, just jump in & do it. Also your outfit is on point 👌

I just love how real FJ is in these infj videos 😅 For me, I guess it is an Ni-Ti loop I’m stuck in when it comes to writing. I get paralyzed by all the possibilities in the future of having to revise things again because of my inproving over time and because of changing perspectives on things. Why waste so much time doing it now if I’m going to have to redo it all over again? I also get paralyzed by criticism or misinterpretations and trying to make sure there’s no open ends or plot holes or anything which I know is impossible but here we are 😅 Toxic fandoms and Twitter got me anxious and no one even knows I write yet 😐

This is one of those videos that we should all watch once a week to remind ourselves to "get over it, and just do it." Thank you for touching in this topic.

Thank you. I struggle to put into words so much of what I feel & as a fellow INFJ, I'm so glad I've stumbled upon your channel

I really appreciate these videos. There are a lot of complicated things about myself that were really hard for me to understand. I’ve watched the videos and just laughed about how much I related to them.

You're hilarious... I really like your funny videos and this is something I can definitely relate to. I think it's my single biggest hurdles at the moment

Thank you so much for helping me understand my personality type better. Now I know what perfectionism is and I do suffer from it. Long time ago I had this idea of having my own personal website, it took me years to get started but as soon as I did, I stopped working on it and it’s been 7 months and I can not at all motivate myself to bring it to completion and now I know why! Thank you so much for sharing this! Your videos are life saving.

Frank! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I recently have been thinking about the perfectionist in me too... I have understood this is the root of all my problems... I so relate with this that I never even start to try... And it is easy truth that we learn by failing, but still why in practice I can not over come this paralysis... This is one of the hardest things for us, it seems for me at least... It is so exhausting to get excited about something and then kill it in this perfectionist mind... Thank you for the share. The best timing for me!

i can't believe how much i could relate to everything you said !! this is literally my life ! having plenty of ideas but never putting them out there because i think i'm not good enough and they'll never be as i imagined them to be..i'm tired of this and i'll definetely start doing more , making more mistakes , as long as i'm trying it's way better than nothing ! thank you so much Frank i truly needed to hear this

My goodness. I found this channel yesterday and this has put my entire life into perspective. Why I am the way I am. How to approach things. "Done is better than Perfect" blew my mind. Relationships have been Rocky with me, I wanted to be an illustrator but nothing was ever perfect so I never finished alot of my work and just settled for something comfortable. I've set new goals and maybe I'll approach my art again and just get something done instead of perfect! Thanks for these videos.

gooooood! my whole life makes sense now! all those unfulfilled works and ideas! I didn't have any excuses or explanations for them. thanks Frank and keep it up

I needed this pep talk, THANK You Frankie!!!😎🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

Another video that has helped my life so much. Thanks FJ ❤

I stumbled onto your videos, and now I can’t stop watching them. I intellectually know there are other INFJ’s out there but to hear you talk about us makes me feel so understood and not alone. I do not know any other INFJ’s personally. I had gotten to a point, I was rejecting myself entirely because I’m so different from others. You’re helping me to understand and accept myself. Thank you.

Frank James at it again! Cant tell you how helpful your EPIC-LY informative videos have been. You put my most complex thoughts and emotions into words so well...as it seems you do for lots of other folks on here. How you are able to explain the many mysteries of the infj's world with such ease and humor is a pretty sweet gift! Thank you for puttin yourself out there time and time again. You literally make me laugh out loud at work and help me get out of the loop of which you speak when i be gettin all introverted and awkward on my coworkers. Even though that's probs making me look even more awkward. #worthit