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@sunainapal7088

5 жыл бұрын

I was literally completing your sentences, thank you for this! I feel understood!

@kelleynewman6005

5 жыл бұрын

Im the same way.im pretty quiet.i think before i add things too.very talkative people really wears me out.

@anonymity3134

5 жыл бұрын

This video really talked to me. I remember going out with my friends (3-5) and while walking around and talking, I always, ALWAYS get forgotten and they forget about me. They even ask after fucking 10 minutes, where's Albert?? (my name) and I'm just behind him! He's like oh hahaha you're like a ninja (everyone agrees) I Feel lonelier with people but less when I'm alone at home. I feel misunderstood and like everyone are ignorant dicks that have their heads way too deep up their ass. But I always forgive them and always wanna help, make them proud be important and a positive impact, even to my childhood was the absolute the opposite. What do you think? I guess I'm a INFJ allot of things match up to me so that's why.

@itswhatyoumakeit6950

5 жыл бұрын

Man, I needed this, plus, I'm a Libra AND a middle child! Lol, it's got good sides hey guys, they'll never see us coming! I really like flying below the radar! You are so on point! I'm very grateful for coming across you! Man, it's comforting and bittersweet to know you guys feel just like me! I just exhaled and my neck and shoulders relaxed. Thank you for sharing this, that takes work, I can't put an image of myself out there just yet! I'm working on that! Hey, commenting use to be too much for me! But, I sub'd, I'm Erin, see you guys around!

@itswhatyoumakeit6950

5 жыл бұрын

@@sunainapal7088 yes! It's amazing! I'm so happy, I think I found my TRIBE!!😁💞

"You're so shy omg." ..... why..... would..... i..... speak..... if...... i...... don't....... have....... anything....... to say???????

@amandajanson3694

4 жыл бұрын

I relate!! 😂 seriously...

@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, go off on Karen 😂

@noodleislife4572

3 жыл бұрын

Right like why does being quiet always gotta correlate being shy wtf!! Must I speak on everything I come across 🙄

@cecile6802

3 жыл бұрын

I relate 😂😂😂😂😂

@marcus813

3 жыл бұрын

I'm a shy INFJ, but I don't always have something to say. I would rather not say a bunch of empty words.

INFJs be like "why is it that I never meet any other INFJs in real life? .. oh right we're invisible. ok"

@ashamazon2262

6 жыл бұрын

LOL I hope to meet more

@WhoaaaMiaaa

6 жыл бұрын

You'll know when you do, though. It's just something...you feel. You just know they're different, but similar to yourself.

@Lillith9008

6 жыл бұрын

HA!

@moregaming49

6 жыл бұрын

I laughed

@LordOfTheWhores

5 жыл бұрын

I've been compared to possible INFJ but it's always the ones who try to flaunt their weirdness which makes me think they're not one. Real INFJ exist but you have to talk to us one on one to really tell imo.

INFJs are not “quiet”. Our eyes and expressions can give away the crazy internal monologue. And people find that extremely jntimidating

@vanessaellefson7806

4 жыл бұрын

Totally true! I've been told I have "intense eyes" and people closest to me always know if I have more to say that I'm not saying verbally.

@hv3079

4 жыл бұрын

@@vanessaellefson7806 WORDD😂🤣🤣

@dr.frankenstein6434

3 жыл бұрын

on the bright side my face also speaks exaclty what i want it to at times i can easily make my point with just the right look

@kassandrasabean6020

3 жыл бұрын

Why? It's not meant as such.

@PGOuma

3 жыл бұрын

@@vanessaellefson7806 yep

I often find myself acting different depending on who I’m with - not being fake, but I tend to take on the traits or energy of whom ever I’m with.

@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983

4 жыл бұрын

Same. One time I spent the night with my cousin and she has a southern accent. By that evening I was speaking with such a heavy southern accent that when I got home my mother commented on it. I do things like that anytime I talk to someone, I have noticed that I will even take on their laugh, even if I have only been talking to them for a few minutes... What's wrong with me? Lmao 😂

@vluessky

4 жыл бұрын

It’s okay :) it’s empathy 💗

@luc6284

4 жыл бұрын

That makes sense to me

@constantinehopkins4355

3 жыл бұрын

Chameleon sis

@cathybarlow3206

3 жыл бұрын

me too. I thought there was something wrong with me when I was growing up. I even had weird things like I would say I feel anxiety....not meaning I was personally feeling anxiety but that I could feel the others anxiety..eventhough they did not appear..to be being anxious...then I couldn't sort out if it was theirs or mine for a long time. Now I know what is going on.

I'm definitely INFJ. But I'm very, very talkative when i feel like talking. Then I need to hide and be alone, regretting the talking. Do others feel like that, too?

@jennifervantassel4571

6 жыл бұрын

justinael Yes! When I am with my family. Especially my 21 year old daughter and 16 yr old son. I just talk talk talk! The other day (I hadn't seen him in a couple weeks) he was looking tired. I said "I'm wearing you out aren't I?" he said "mmm..kind of". He didn't want to hurt my feelings, he knew I had a lot to share and was excited to see him. My daughter is entp and we both talk a lot back and forth, kinda amped up. Then we have to go to separate rooms for 2-4 hrs to recharge.

@JesusisLord..

6 жыл бұрын

YUP

@NuLiForm

6 жыл бұрын

yep...when i sense a personality or intellectual connection....it's so rare! & i get all excited like a kid in a candy store...thus will occasionally yap my brains out if they are responsively clicking & excitedly talking too......then, Zap!...i suddenly stop..freeze...feeling like an idiot in need of a rabbit hole, when i hear my own voice..going on & on...*shudders*

@JesusisLord..

6 жыл бұрын

Nu Liform wow yes exactly!!!

@dawnjb5815

5 жыл бұрын

I felt it too!

Every one: "You are pretty quiet." Me: "Only on the outside."

@kath1017

4 жыл бұрын

💯

@P03ticJustice

4 жыл бұрын

Exact

@hennywulandari3966

4 жыл бұрын

Because I think you are not match with me or I trust you enough on the connection to make me talkactive

@JosephineCalleja

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah I totally agres

@redoormatt1926

4 жыл бұрын

Mee 😳

As an INFJ, finding a good time to insert my thought into a conversation when I won't be interrupting anyone else's comment flow, only to wait too long and have the conversation move on without me happens ALL the time.

@jsmith317

2 жыл бұрын

Yup. Same here.

@AM-uo1iq

2 жыл бұрын

oh dear...

@howyduinyall7653

2 жыл бұрын

Incredibly accurate 1,000000%

@tannisjohnson6456

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@naimaabdi6094

2 жыл бұрын

Loool 😂😂😂

"why so quiet?" *in a condescending tone* maybe because not everyone wants to blab their unstructured and harebrained thoughts, rebecca.

@jacobandersen6075

3 жыл бұрын

Lol

@jdcv17

3 жыл бұрын

Rebecca... 😂

@prancingsquid

3 жыл бұрын

I fucking died 😂

@Zizipho_Ndayi

3 жыл бұрын

Haha. Add in there: Just because you Rebecca don't have a rich internal world that needs to be enjoyed, doesn't mean none have.

@chipiturk90strend

3 жыл бұрын

Oh, you forgot the 'are you mad?' or the 'are you sad?' Just because I'm quiet, not having a smile, or having a nowhere stare doesn't mean i am mad or sad

1) Does it need to be said? 2) Does it need to be said by me? 3) Does it need to be said by me right now?

@robertjohnson4401

5 жыл бұрын

4) Does it need to be said by me right now and will they appreciate it.

@leestones4831

5 жыл бұрын

5) if they appreciate it good I can sleep tonight. if they don't I'll sit up thinking about that moment and how I could've made it better.

@LiSa-fc5sp

5 жыл бұрын

ohhtruee

@Alex-sr7op

5 жыл бұрын

4) Oh shit, they changed the topic...

@svlokeswar4108

4 жыл бұрын

@@Alex-sr7op Oh god!every f*cking time!

“They’re not ignoring you. They just don’t know how to deal with you. Because you’re that cool.”

@siddharthsingh209

4 жыл бұрын

Or wierd lol

@kpoptimes5826

4 жыл бұрын

I read this comment as he said it

@trappedinsideafigure8

4 жыл бұрын

Haha

@jenneper

4 жыл бұрын

@@kpoptimes5826 same. Lol

@nhizzz7368

4 жыл бұрын

Lol

“does she talk?” “i forgot she was even here!” 😅

@repulsethemonkey1396

3 жыл бұрын

(Says something) "Omg you CAN/DO talk!" Very original..

@marcus813

3 жыл бұрын

I relate to that a lot. Some people somehow think I'm a mute because I'm not truly a chatterbox.

@tokensharma3738

3 жыл бұрын

I have to say even if I don't want to just because I don't want that tag.

@pri3971

3 жыл бұрын

It just pinch

@pspspspspspspssp

3 жыл бұрын

'i forgot you were here' hurts so freaking much, i've heard it too many times😭

The most hurtful thing I have experienced in that direction is being forgotten, often. People don't remember me, that I was there are the lame party or dinner or whatever. While I remember their whole boring AF life story and that they hate onions, because they talked at me for a lifesucking hour. And then you don't remember my face or name or that I exist? I tried being louder and saying something about myself, so that they too have something to remember me by, but then I just feel more drained and embarrassed about having talked nonsense.

@jamesdouglas7345

Жыл бұрын

Then there is the truth. The true infj witnesses a lot of truth twisting and should you gently remind someone theyre lying especially if its a very important reminder you will most likely be torn to shreds screamed at for quite some time and then hear alternate realities that are so far fetched theyre like 2 y/o making up stuff.

@AnaMaria.Nova9

Жыл бұрын

Omg same , I am always forgotten .... T^T

@tommynobaka

Жыл бұрын

for the longest time, this hurt me until I realized I had to mature and keep the people who do remember

@GeronimoStiltstom

Жыл бұрын

@@tommynobaka this is the one.

@bernadettewilkie5996

Жыл бұрын

Hey boos, I'm seeing these comments. Hey guess what, you arent forgotten. Jesus is thinking about you all the time. You are always on His heart and He doesn't want to forget you. So remember this. K? Be happy, you are breathing. God is good. :)

I think all of this goes in addition to the “I’m holding on to my thought because they’re talking” and then the conversation does a 180 and your thought is irrelevant.

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

Happens so many times

@sarahd6822

6 жыл бұрын

Nicely put! This happens so often, and it unfortunately happens when I think of something funny or witty

@redarmy5894

6 жыл бұрын

Yeah i find this happens to me a lot but i feel like its how confident on the subject thats being talked about i am. Sometimes i feel i dont know enough to have valuable input or i think i know to much but cant structure in the right way to get it across properly and then like you say conversation changes. Sometimes i think others no more and say nothing only to find out later on i knew as much as everbody else on the matter and should of just said it. If that makes any sense haha.

@curlyb9710

6 жыл бұрын

wild linez 88 It makes total sense. I’m actually so surprised that more people think this way. It is all very true!

@urnotjonesy

6 жыл бұрын

worst

This is why I prefer one on one interactions. I don't like feeling left out 😂😂

@Lorebeholder

4 жыл бұрын

Do SeungMi mood

@delirium5381

4 жыл бұрын

I talk a lot when I'm in an one-on-one conversation with someone I've known for a long time. But then my mind goes blank when a third person comes in...And then they both ignore me and I just sit there. They temporarily forget I'm there. It's weird.

@hypatiakovalevskayasklodow9195

4 жыл бұрын

Do SeungMi Yep. You can actually connect with a person 101, and jave some meaningfull converstaions

@TaxEvasi0n

4 жыл бұрын

Do SeungMi I’ve always been for 1 on 1. I thought there was something off because of it. Not that there was something wrong with me, but something different. My mate always tells me I need to talk more when going out to a bar or club or something. But 99% of interactions are groups, and I’m just not really down. It works when someone’s trying to get something out of me, which is great. Otherwise, I do best 1 on 1.

@emilyl7226

4 жыл бұрын

Yes! I always get disappointed when I find out meeting with someone will include a third or fourth person, because then I know I will just be sitting there listening instead of sharing.

I feel like INFJs just try to match the energy in the room rather than make a statement for themselves and really individualize themselves from the rest of the crowd. One on one they absolutely will, but in a group they try so hard to fit in, they don’t make themselves as interesting as they really are.

@crochetqueen93

4 жыл бұрын

This is spot on. It's like when you're in a group you're scared of fully being yourself because it might be met with judgement, so you'd rather match the energy of the group to not feel like an outcast.

@clau6023

3 жыл бұрын

@@crochetqueen93 yes exactly!!

@april2782

3 жыл бұрын

@@crochetqueen93 yeah when there is a group project I will get new ideas but when I try to express them I don't know but I feel odd in a group of normal people and when I try to fit in it makes me feel awkward and ends up being quiet

@amandatadros3212

3 жыл бұрын

Omg I never knew how to put that into words. You nailed it. I feel so uninteresting in groups and never realized that was a common INFJ problem haha.

@katie5998

3 жыл бұрын

This is why I deeply admire people who can do that. I used to be the type of person who never said anything independent, or out of what I felt the energy of the room was, or what I viewed as embarrassing and awkward. But then I met people with, what I like to call, “rockstar energy” which is the type of energy that doesn’t give a shit. They’re unapologetically themselves, and that is a trait I work really hard now to possess because it really is so admirable that people can say what they’re thinking, even if I view it as embarrassing, and they stand with their views. Why I still get awkward, and I find myself occasionally matching energy (as it’s so easy to do) but if I want to say something that goes against the flow of conversation, I cna do so easily. I feel it offers different perspectives, and it helps conversation flow. Sometimes it takes one person to voice an opposing opinion, and then the whole group takes it into consideration, or someone who thought the same as you but felt they couldn’t voice it also can speak out and agree.

I’ve noticed that when I’m low on energy I don’t want/ like to socialize/talk to people that I feel requires me to exert a lot of energy or entertain them. Like sometimes I just want to chill without talking. And some people I feel like they can’t just chill without talking and it not be awkward. The awkwardness drains me

@jscorpio1987

3 жыл бұрын

In those situations, it's not you that's making the silence awkward. It's usually the person who doesn't understand the value of silence that makes it awkward. I don't really talk much unless I really have something to say and I've noticed when I'm around the few people who understand that, moments of silence are actually quite relaxing. It's only ever awkward when there's somebody around who's scared to death of going one second without flapping their lips and making sounds. Lol

@desmonides

3 жыл бұрын

I find that some people are so empty inside and have no inner world so that have to rely on other people to entertain them because they can only be bored when left to their own company. These type of people are very draining.

@drewreignbalan7470

3 жыл бұрын

that part right there

@kristinexxus3538

Жыл бұрын

Yeah, a friend of mine said we could hang out on the weekends (which I appreciate it’s nice) and I was like “sure sometime” but in my head I was not so positive about it because weekends are testing days from entertaining and socializing

Frank alone in his room overanalyzing why INFJs overanalyze things in great detail. Mood. Rofl.

@AllisonPeacock

4 жыл бұрын

🤪🤪🤪

@Soul.Heart.Mind.

4 жыл бұрын

❤️

As a INFJ sometimes even when I try to talk, I usually get ignored by other people. Like wtf????

@lisalawyer8275

4 жыл бұрын

I rarely talk, or express my opinion; but the odd time I do, I am usually ignored as well. But then there's those few friends that hush everyone else up so that they hear what I have to say. It really depends on the person/crowd I'm with.

@farouqkhalil1743

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, then it becomes irritating to the highest degree. It irks my nerves when that happens. It lights a fire behind my eyes

@ankhtruth

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds like my life in a box. When Im trying to ad my opinion to the discussion, people almost ALWAYS cut me off by talking 'over' my sentence. Sometimes I will have to start over three or four times before I manage to get through. Feels annoying and really disrespectful. Many times I just lay down and pick up my mobile instead.

@celineka2671

3 жыл бұрын

It's the same for me. I thought I was the only one in this situation

@PGOuma

3 жыл бұрын

I feel you. Idk why. I try and try again to be talkative and put myself out there but I still feel this shield in front of me while everyone else is grouped together in this bubble. It's so depressing honestly :/

I’ve gotten so used to the “fade” that when I’m in a group conversation and the main talker looks at me I freak out a little because I look at everything, body language and etc and it’s even awkwarder if the person said something funny and they look at me because I’m not laughing just to see me looking at them like 👁 👄 👁 and then I plaster a weird smile on my face 🤦🏾‍♀️. That mostly happens when I don’t really know the person but it’s awkward af 😭😭😭 (sorry if that didn’t make any sense 😂)

@ariadnarivas260

4 жыл бұрын

OMG, YOU JUST DESCRIBED ME SO WELL, DAMN.

@pamv7765

3 жыл бұрын

This is exactly how I feel in such a situation. It really helps for me when I know/have talked one on one with the 'talker' of the group before because then I feel like I 'dare' to reciprocate more, but if not it's just a very awkward moment😅

@ilianam453

3 жыл бұрын

Looool, I have to force a look of comfort on my face in social situations even when I feel just fine because I'm so busy quietly observing but apparently my resting face looks sad or angry to others.

@clau6023

3 жыл бұрын

lmao same

@clau6023

3 жыл бұрын

@@ilianam453 so true. my friends can be laughing and making jokes that i usually also would laugh at but at that moment i just don't feel like engaging or i just forget that i'm visible almost. oh i must look so angry when in reality i'm not at all

The funniest thing my professor told me: “You’re so quiet, you’re like a little Buddha!”

@NADA-ok2ce

Жыл бұрын

I’ve been called Yoda 😂

From an older INFJ let me provide a little insight. First: you are now, and will always be, ahead of the curve, possibly as much as ten to fifteen years. Most won't get it. Don't worry about it. Don't bother to explain it. You'll see things come about and you will come to expect it. Second: you take in, formulate, and conclude life for a reason, so others will. Earlier in life you'll take in more than you put out. You're building a data base. All experiences matter and count. Later, your output will be more, while taking in and concluding more, faster, to a much greater extent, to the point of exhaustion. Be aware and take care. Take time to recover and replenish, avoid emotionally destructive people and cultures. Third: You're meant to pass through many peoples lives, some for a short time, a very few for a lifetime. You'll never be alone in your head. Sometimes you're presence and pretense alone will be enough. Other times, you may find yourself suddenly projected to center stage as the only one with a complete thought. Don't be stunned if the entire room is fixed on you and listening, as to be amazed. Just be calm and your database will deliver. Don't marvel at that position you are in. You're just the messenger. Pass it off. If people don't say anything. They're taking it in. They're not ignoring you. They're just speechless. Many more such times will come and you will be increasingly more comfortable with them, until you take them for granted, and forget them. Radically changing times are about to hemorrhage forth on humanity. Your part is critically important. Don't stress over it. It will all come naturally to you. You'll finally be in your element. Most people think they'll see an extraordinary view from the top of a summit, but you don't. You feel it. Good luck.

@jennymowery79

5 жыл бұрын

Charles Price thank you so much I'm 39 just found out I'm infj I always just thought I was weird sometimes crazy and that I don't belong the advice you gave is priceless and so helpful I needed to hear the things you said and I'm now comfortable with myself and have been able to turn what I thought was negative and turn it into positive

@jenniferkeeponfighting7561

5 жыл бұрын

I love your wording

@rentalhubs

5 жыл бұрын

I'm writing this on a nice paper and saving it on my livingrooms wall💗 thank you

@scotth5237

5 жыл бұрын

Well said

@forlucidlovers

5 жыл бұрын

Charles Price wow. I needed this.

“They’re not ignoring you. They just don’t know how to deal with you. Because you’re that cool.” Bro this changed my life! Seriously, i feel less anxious about people right now.

@whitneylivingston4171

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@justsomeguyfromthemcu7052

Жыл бұрын

I needed that.

@mytruthbekind5793

Жыл бұрын

Lol. I feel like awkward and like a dork. I can see this as a possibility because life has greatly improved as I have gotten older and been able to get away from those that were hurtful. I learned from their criticisms.

@TrixMC

8 ай бұрын

​​@@mytruthbekind5793I agree their hatred towards me only made me better

Yes! Love this quote I saw in a meme “My favorite type of people: when you’re telling a story and everyone’s talking over you, but one person makes direct eye contact with you and pays extra attention so you don’t get discouraged.”🥰

@faithworks217

Жыл бұрын

I'm often that person. Knowing how it feels, I make a point of paying attention to people who are standing by themselves or trying to tell a story and nobody is listening. They tend to be quite interesting.

@MarciaCamara

Жыл бұрын

@@faithworks217 , same here!

I have NEVER had someone so perfectly articulate the exact complex of how isolated and unapproachable I've felt my entire life. Seriously informative and strangely comforting, thank you

Yes, I am quiet because I usually decide that expressing my opinion won't matter in the situation.

@niahpe8533

5 жыл бұрын

so true

@lovelylovely0010

5 жыл бұрын

Same.

@2002jennyfer

5 жыл бұрын

Same, in most of the groups I've ever been I get ignored and even when I express my opinion they act like they didn't listen or actually listen to me but prefer ignoring what I say so I give up and choose to be quiet and being far away for the group I'm in, it's healthier for me.

@athaduzanjanitra6215

5 жыл бұрын

Indeed

@thegreatestislove8604

5 жыл бұрын

Jennifer Alondra Alcántara Lopez it’s probably because what you had to say was a nugget of wisdom and they didn’t understand so they chose to ignore it to save face in front of the others. Heavy truths work best one on one for sure so they can feel free to open up with you. It’s my big struggle. I hate surface level conversations I’m always wanting to go deep too fast

I'm mostly either the center of the conversation and my group or full on ignored. There's no in between.

@tadm123

4 жыл бұрын

I'm at the middle. I like being part of a group where I can add to a conversation every now and then but not be either dominant or completely ignored. It's the perfect spot. I guess there's lots of variety within INFJ because I can't relate to this video at all either 🤷‍♂️

@ayylmao2410

4 жыл бұрын

Yes

@sunflu

4 жыл бұрын

Yup yup yup 👍 that s me.

@sunflu

4 жыл бұрын

tadm123 I can do what u mentioned there. But I m aware that I m enjoying the conversation but am kind of faking it to keep the conversation going. Hence the next time I might be put in that situation, I try to find a corner of my own. The perfect place for me in a party will be the kitchen. Maybe that s why I become a good cook.

@Ashutosh_Mahajan

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly

Them: We need more listeners! Also them: Why aren't you talking?

In today’s society, there’s too much noise-in social media, in real life, in the work place, etc. Too many people babble a lot of things. INFJs filter the tumult and get down to the core of things. Someone has to do the observing when everyone’s so busy and focused on their everyday gabble. Many people talk. Some may hear. But only a few listen.

@froeloe

Жыл бұрын

@bjjcfhklhtdx how do i keep them up? uhm… by not deleting them? 🙃

why am I crying. this is accurate. I need INFJ friends.

@amberstale2628

4 жыл бұрын

Me: trying to look for friends by joining a chat group. Aleo me: (Quitely reading their convos) Doesn't want to talk or partake in their conversations.

@catrau946

4 жыл бұрын

Kaylie, have u just recently learned you are an INFJ? I only ask because I had the same reaction when I first found out there was a whole group of others with my personality quirks and who are just as complicated as I have always been. Finding this community has truly been a blessing. So cry, because I think your tears are tears of relief and comfort. 💕💕

@Biafromars

4 жыл бұрын

Expectation: let us all become INFJ friends and talk to each other Reality: we just stare and analyze but never really talk lol

@ikram6245

4 жыл бұрын

If you're an INFJ it wouldn't be cool to have INFJ friends. Who would do the talking ?

@UnstableEvil

4 жыл бұрын

Are you INFJ?

I always felt like I didnt fit anywhere. Then when I took the personality test I got an INFJ. It explained everything lol.

@wintersstar5830

4 жыл бұрын

When I took the test and saw INFJ I was like "now all of it makes perfect sense."

@wollahmeh8823

4 жыл бұрын

Winters Star58 i took the test, got infj, thought Nah that aint me, looked at all other introverted personalities, didnt really fit me either (except infp but im more of a planner than a i’ll do it sometimes person) so i watched some infj vids (a lot tbh) and i started to understand and relate to a things more and more. Still i think im lying to myself and my brain is telling me that i must be special. And now idk anymore if im lying to myself and im at the point that i cant trust and believe myself anymore and it hurts me a lot. I guess im just an introvert. Nothing more, nothing less, just an ixxx-x

@onemuckypup9823

4 жыл бұрын

I totally understand - exactly what happened to me!

@wollahmeh8823

4 жыл бұрын

Alexander Supertramp i know but both cognitive functions and mbti are inaccurate, so that means theres no real way of knowing your type.....

@qaffqahhaar9380

4 жыл бұрын

Ikr, that feeling like we are missing something even when everything is complete. Feeling alone.

I'm an INFJ... But I've created an alter ego whenever I'm around people... Now i can talk to people... But sometimes it's really not that great...

@april2782

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I too do it to make myself feel better but it always ends up with a big awkward silence

@tticusFinch

3 жыл бұрын

I have to do that at my work and I'm absolutely drained by the end of the day.

@farabistudios5555

3 жыл бұрын

@@tticusFinch relatable brother

@AnityC

2 жыл бұрын

@@tticusFinch This reminds me of the time I started behaving and talking through an alter ego, because I thought I shoudln't be seen as an introvert in that particular work field. Obviously, very bad idea, many misunderstandings and my boss would perceive every serious point I tried to make as me being sarcrastic. That's when I learned that being extroverted is not a goal even if society in many parts of the world makes it out to be a strength in contrast to introvertedness.

I'm scared at how accurate this is, I feel like I'm reading versions of me in the comments. I have an interest in mysterious personalities and my family sees me like that but at school, I talk and somehow frick it all up.

@edlinnaurah

3 жыл бұрын

ikr its so accurate to the point i thought of ''are you me?''

My constantly changing extraversion and introversion confuses people I think. One day I'll be so chatty, then exhausted and then the next day I'll hide away to preserve my energy.

@nithinram8262

4 жыл бұрын

Hi Sophie.. Am an infj.. Can we know each other? 🙂

@r3dak73d-6

4 жыл бұрын

Introversion and extraversion have nothing to do with level of interest in social situations. INFJs are extraverted feelers second, meaning we pick up on the energy of everybody else and we pay a lot of attention to the harmony of the group and don't like it. Being introverted simply means you get drained being around people and need to recharge with alone time. Extraversion is the opposite: go out and see people to get energy and recharge alone. If you're feeling amped up by a conversation it's because it keys into your interests and we never really get to connect with people on that abstract empathetic level.

@ARichardP

4 жыл бұрын

I’m like that too. It has to be confusing for others.

@mickey099

4 жыл бұрын

nithin ram now she needs her space lol

@metalmayfantasy

4 жыл бұрын

I think so too, I can definitely see how it is very confusing and causes people to wonder who exactly I am.

I like being mysterious. When I finally say something, It has a bigger impact.

@thomasbarton1050

4 жыл бұрын

Laconic

@escarlit

4 жыл бұрын

this is nice, but it also means everyone's suddenly hanging off your every word. then you feel it.

@hv3079

4 жыл бұрын

Facts

@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983

4 жыл бұрын

YES 😂 That can kind of suck though, for instance; My family was talking about how much they dislike when spaghetti noodles clump together while cooking, I pipped up and said that I didn't mind it when that happened. Literally for months after that, whenever we would eat spaghetti (at least once a week) my family would go out of their way to make sure that all of the noodles that clumped together were given to me. They thought that just because I said that I didn't mind something, that meant that I LOVED it. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I didn't really care, that is until my little sister stated that she prefers clumped noodles. Then I told them. 😂 Things like that happen to me quite often. 😐 P.S. I know that was an odd analogy, but I am typing this at five in the morning 😂

@VijayaLakshmi-wq3bc

4 жыл бұрын

@@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983 😂😂😂

I’ve got an issue because I’m an INFJ and all of my friends are very very quiet introverts. So I constantly feel like I have to start the conversation, continue the conversation, and say something worth-while, because otherwise no one talks... EVER. That’s why I always gravitate towards my extroverted friends. I’m an energy absorber, a listener, I can’t create energy as well as other people. So yeah, my introverted friends actually drain me WAY more than my extroverted friends. Does this happen to anyone else, or just me?

@animelvr99

2 жыл бұрын

That's running into the situation that you are ironically the extrovert in your introvert friend group and that takes a toll on your energy on an introvert. It's a double edge sword. It's funny if you get enough introverts in one room, the scale shifts on who is more introverted and extroverted. But the big issue is that the friends are not reciprocating the energy back to you in that friendship.

@carissahill3414

2 жыл бұрын

Social interactions are definitely interesting. Maybe it is because I am an ENFP but no matter if I am with a group of introverted friends or extraverted friends, I will change up my behavior *if* I feel like expectations are being put on me. So it could be the case that since you always start the conversation, continue the conversation because otherwise no one talks... it could be that they EXPECT you to do it now. We humans are trained FAST. Social interactions for me are testing how well I am on my toes to make sure minimal expectations are placed on me. Essentially I don't want the *expected* responsibility. I will take the responsibiility at times but also sit in the golden silence and let things progress as if I was not there. I suppose what I am trying to say is: It is important to consciously be aware of how you are unconsciously or subconsciously training people to interact with you.

@carissahill3414

2 жыл бұрын

There is also training people that you will NOT speak up too.

@tamannatazz5800

2 жыл бұрын

Yes,it happened with me.

@cindytran5628

Ай бұрын

Omg yes this has happened to me I’d rather hang out with my extroverted friends because it’s less draining than introverted friends that just sit there and expect us to initiate and carry on the conversation the whole time. I tend to get along more with extroverts even though I’m not extroverted like them.

I had an older woman at church tell me years ago that I was a very "solemn" person. Only someone who doesn't really know me well would think that. I'm very particular who I let into my personal space. A lot of people make a judgment call on INFJs without realizing we care very deeply - too much sometimes. It drains me to share myself with others. I have a very active inner mental life, and don't feel the need to share every thought that I have. I'm in my mid 50s now, and am comfortable with who I am, and being introverted - you learn it's ok to be an observer of humanity, and share what's truly meaningful.

Sometimes by the time I've processed an opinion on a topic and want to respond, someone in the group has already switched the conversation.

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

Yup, been there done that XD

@persko_draws

5 жыл бұрын

haha so TRUE

@ladyevil64

5 жыл бұрын

Definitely this! I have had people bulldoze over me talking, and insert themselves between me and the person I'm talking to (unfortunately, it's usually a woman.)

@Iivinginfiction

5 жыл бұрын

yeah.. im like ok.

@cagneychick182

5 жыл бұрын

I've been told that I'm always two steps behind or two steps ahead in a conversation, but I'm never instep in the conversation. It was one of the best observations anyone has ever actually told me about myself.

“INFJ’s are the most extroverted of the introverts”. Dang never thought about it like that. So true.

@harrisonbaylor1432

4 жыл бұрын

Robert I knew this one lol. Every time I’m with other introverts in public I always feel like I have to be the “leader” of the group. Rather it be starting conversations or making decisions like where to eat or whatever.

@TempestGarden

4 жыл бұрын

@@harrisonbaylor1432 LOL I am the exact same way. I always feel like the least awkward of all the introverts in the group, even though I can feel awkward in social situations sometimes.

@tigerex777

4 жыл бұрын

People always confuse me as an extrovert. That's only because my extroverted side comes out to match the mood of the situation. I'm more a blender and match'er.

@dafaazka102

4 жыл бұрын

@@tigerex777 yes you are

@anne-bn7up

4 жыл бұрын

YES SO TRUE RIGHT!

Strangest thing is after being ignored/treated as being invisible, I tend to go silent and boy does this get their attention!

Other than unreadable, I was called creepy 😂 I was eating with a bunch of classmates while they converse . To me it felt like I was present all Long and just listening but they seem to forgot I was there and when I blurted out my thoughts regarding the topic while I was eating they were shocked that I was even ‘in’ the conversation to begin with 😂

@yokkabai

2 жыл бұрын

It’s like just because our mouth isn’t running non stop doesn’t mean we can’t hear or aren’t considering the topic - we are often just intently listening and considering what others say. ^_^ Also - on a completely different note - when I read your comment I missed reading the word “with” at first - lol -

@annatetiad.4991

Жыл бұрын

Creepy is because INFJs are masters at reading people - sometimes just sitting there and observing. We can see right through people, and they forget we are there...so people say things with their guard down., and often spill their darkest secrets.

@faithworks217

Жыл бұрын

@@yokkabai Lol!

@lobalee1873

10 ай бұрын

I think it's very easy for INFJs to get mislabeled as creepy because of the way we observe. 😂

"I've mastered the skill of standing so incredibly still that I become invisible to the eye." Drax The Destroyer - 2017

@CreativelyAligned

4 жыл бұрын

Kennan Dunn 😂😂😂😂

@IsleNaK

4 жыл бұрын

Actually had that happen to me....

@kennandunn7533

4 жыл бұрын

@@IsleNaK I'm an INTJ and it happens to me all the time.

@yvonnecampbell7036

4 жыл бұрын

When I used to go shopping with my mom people were always startled when I got up to leave. They thought I was one of the mannequins XD.

@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983

4 жыл бұрын

That reminds me of something that a character from the book series *The Ranger's Apprentice* (highly recommend) would say 😂

“You’re impossible to figure out its so mysterious and sexy “ 1 month later : “ You’re just weird I can’t figure you out it’s so frustrating I’m done with you!” 🤣🤣🤣

@thegreatestislove8604

5 жыл бұрын

Ha! So true

@connie2286

5 жыл бұрын

Histoires de fou Caroline Henry 🤣🤣🤣🤣 True !!!

@favouraffi424

5 жыл бұрын

Always. Story of my life. Even right now as I type this😂😂😂😂

@TokioTE

5 жыл бұрын

😂

@iamrhomeo

4 жыл бұрын

Soooo true smh... like it then it becomes 'too much'

As a young INFJ, I'm still dealing with the social scene in school. I have always been an overachiever, and I have found myself to be well-known at my school. Despite this, I feel isolated from my peers. I have countless acquaintances, but I am not firmly "in" any friend groups. I have attempted joining and forming friend groups, but usually I find the other members getting closer and closer while I gradually fall behind. I had almost accepted that scaring people off would be inevitable for me, but hearing that others may just not understand how to interact with me opens my eyes to possible explanation and thankfully another stepping stone I can use to overcome my issue.

@lobalee1873

10 ай бұрын

Sometimes being an INFJ can feel isolating because so few people think like you, but don't worry, it will work out! You'll find like-minded people or in the least, people who like your weirdness and appreciate you. It gets better as you get older, I think.

This is so helpful. I’m an ENFP and my lovely daughter is an INFJ. She often questions why she is invisible and ignored by others. I’ll be sharing your video with her. I know she will find it food for thought and maybe even answer that life long question. Thanks.

You know what bothers me. People constantly asking me if I'm okay. Whyyyy???? Makes me so uncomfortable, and even if I was perfectly fine, I start to wonder if I am really o.k., do I look weird

@beabea3121

5 жыл бұрын

Yesss same here.😒

@semaceren8166

5 жыл бұрын

dude cause we have a bitch face like all the time.

@HeatherElise85

5 жыл бұрын

Same!

@AyanaSioux

5 жыл бұрын

When I'm in thought, I look angry, lol. People ask me this all the time, every single day, even at work, lol. I'm almost always okay though, lol.

@winstonchurchill624

5 жыл бұрын

Regularity I thought that was normal

"We don't have a lot of best friends DO WE" 😂

@nadinali2417

4 жыл бұрын

i felt that, but i am lucky to have an INFJ best friend.

@trig.destiny2640

4 жыл бұрын

I dont know what the criteria is to decide who best friends are.......

All these years i hated myself for being "me". I already have categorized myself as "weird" because i just can't fit in on most social groups, only to find out now that INFJ personality really exist. I'm having a marathon of your videos lately & I'm discovering a lot. It's like having a friend who doesn't know me personally but understands me completely.

Being an INFJ, it is so relatable and been got over with being ignored, I found out myself thinking about some murder conspiracy 😂

I don’t like to talk. I don’t like small-talk because if I speak to fill in silence I feel like I’m saying stupid things. I would rather speak to enlighten, comfort or humor someone. Which, I feel, even then is not often... I prefer reading or writing to speaking.

@Hannahsummer

5 жыл бұрын

Mindy Sioux I feel the same, but when the silences get too awkward in discussions I feel compelled to speak up and end up saying stupid things because I haven’t had a chance to develop any meaningful and insightful ideas yet. That has just made me hate small talk even more

@brittanyATL

5 жыл бұрын

Very nicely put.

@coffeekissesxoxo6009

5 жыл бұрын

Same prefer writing to speaking omg then people who dont understand think you are ignoring them or dont like them. Lol no. Just awkward.

@jackiej8082

5 жыл бұрын

I don't like small talk because it forces me to move my lips to someone I don't even care for. I know it sounds harsh, I'm not a mean person but trying to work up a conversation as an INFJ is extremely tiring and sometimes it feels like something's lodged into my throat so I cant even speak.

@shurooqallawati4200

5 жыл бұрын

Yes exactly!

“Social chameleon” I felt that..

I have literally never related to a group of people more than the infj community on KZread 🤣 it blows my mind

"does it matter if I express my opinion here" is so true--and also because I never want people to think I'm full of myself so I rarely talk about myself out "in the world"

I sometimes ask and answer the questions in my mind before asking

@vsatonthebeat4101

4 жыл бұрын

Especially when texting

@icha5391

4 жыл бұрын

So true lol it's like I imagine and made my own scenario before talking

@rosabscura

4 жыл бұрын

Yeessss.. but sometimes I accidentally ask the question out loud and have to deal with others giving me the answer too >.>

@clau6023

3 жыл бұрын

yes always

@nimisha6584

3 жыл бұрын

Absolutely! I just answer it in my head.

I often find that I could be talking to people and mid sentence they suddenly start talking or walk away - it's almost like they didn't hear me even though I was speaking clearly. I feel like as an INFJ I get interrupted a lot and people just don't pay attention to me.

@meagiesmuse2334

6 жыл бұрын

pamela 4- Yes, Yes and Yes!!! And I often have to interrupt them just to get a word in edgewise. They will go on and on about some tiny problem I would not even notice, when I know they are well aware that I have really serious problems, but they will never even ask how I am doing, and then claim that they "love" me. I am sick of it. I feel like we INFJs are push-pull toys when it comes to other people.

@domedweller4202

6 жыл бұрын

pamelam4 I can relate to that.💕

@seapearltoo1

6 жыл бұрын

OMG Yes!!! This is so annoying and frustrating. i find that i get interrupted also when i am in the middle of a conversation with someone, as if i am not even there!

@annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239

6 жыл бұрын

pamelam4 I feel you on that 😐

@FreyaGem

6 жыл бұрын

ultimate pet peeve, and people don’t understand how disrespected that can make someone feel to be interrupted mid sentence over and over again.

I never knew this had to do with my personality type! Whenever I’m with others, whether it’s 2 people or a party I tend to “distance” myself and listen to what everyone is saying but I’m stuck in my head thinking “why is no one noticing me.”

We don’t like to be fake. We like to be understood on a deep level. I’ve had a lot of people tell me that I am unreadable and stoic. I do not like it because we are just more emotional reserved. I like to call it emotionally mature. Other personalities I think overly share. INFJs are not socially needy and actually get more attention for being mysterious. I have had people literally try to come and drain my peace, jealous of my reserve demeanor and stability.

I feel like since the INFJ’s are so intuitive and blend in makes us more prone to anxiety and possibly depression? Because has anyone else just listened and thought about others conversations and heard like a little cue to join in but don’t, and then you get ignored? And then you wonder what would have happened if you joined in,and then overload yourself...and then just break down. Being an INFJ is a blessing and a curse at the same time. Edit - over 100 likes?!? Lol wow that’s the most I’ve gotten, thank you :)

@gotyahoneycomb3500

4 жыл бұрын

absolutely right ! i got depression but feared to tell my family about it, then it got worse pondering if it's okay to reach for help, what if this is not a depression but kinda an illusion, what will they think...anddddd turned out i got depression, bad performances at school, broken relationships, then I told my family and got them taken aback

@vanpassiflora4357

4 жыл бұрын

Agreed :)

@hv3079

4 жыл бұрын

WORDDD

@kimayajadhav5566

4 жыл бұрын

so relatable

@ariadnarivas260

4 жыл бұрын

This.

I fade voluntary me in every social events: stay silent and judge everyone else while controlling the urge to go home and sleep

@nadejdakopanova415

5 жыл бұрын

LOL so true!

@RegencyLady-ho2ik

5 жыл бұрын

Well I've said things in groups but it's like I've not said anything at all. So I always step back and leave after that. They never notice I have left.

@nobleneckbeard7356

5 жыл бұрын

😂

@PurePlantPotions

5 жыл бұрын

Agree. But I need at least 3 hours to process all of it before I can rest. Ugh.

@metabutch

5 жыл бұрын

OMG! That is so true LOL...

As a person that has always had a hard time understanding herself, this was a large relief to see that I'm not the only one to feel this way. I can't even begin to guess how many meltdowns I've had while wondering what was wrong with me, when I would think others didn't like me. I've always said the same, "Why say something if I don't have anything to say".

I feel left out a lot! Kind of a wallflower or third wheel type of a feeling.

Just an INFJ wanting a friend to understand me wholly.

@Avntdr9

5 жыл бұрын

We can talk if u want im an infj too

@husseina5373

5 жыл бұрын

Infj looking for someone to understand me too

@semaceren8166

5 жыл бұрын

can we friends guys???

@shanetomlinson984

5 жыл бұрын

Me too :'(

@MrAnanhy

5 жыл бұрын

Kanishka Sharma me too

Great insight. I think we fade because it's too much energy to maintain. Everyone tries to out talk each other. No one wants to listen.

@evegreenification

6 жыл бұрын

Exactly. The amount of energy it would take to put something articulate and interesting out there is far greater than the effort it feels like other people will make in caring about it, following up on it or asking you to expand on it, so what's the point? Feels like it will be more fruitful to listen and gain insight quietly.

@crystalgorrondona4483

6 жыл бұрын

Amen

@annasthoughtsandmusicalpar2239

6 жыл бұрын

Florida Singularity omg, yeah, that gets so frustrating sometimes.

@lauram326

6 жыл бұрын

Florida Singularity Yessss.. This!!!

@JonawiNg

6 жыл бұрын

I agree to this so bad. An acquaintance of mine called me boring since i wouldn't try to out talk them and would rather listen and process all that may be useful for me

I can't stop laughing Everytime I watch your videos. Its like you're completely reading me without knowing me. But you know me.. Lol. It's just crazy how spot on you are.

INFJ here. Leading a team of 22 people, I am usually outputting or delivering the information and energy. I sometimes arrange social functions for the team. Its amazing to me how invisible i can become (if i choose to) at these events. Its delightful sitting back and watching them hoot and tell stories; let their hair down. Whilst i observe. It can sometimes be almost the entire time, im just watching. And i become quite invisible.

As an INFJ, whenever I watch your videos, reading those comments in your video, I feel like "finally there's someone who understands me, especially my situation, without the need to explain those things. Thank you so much :")

@vincentdigiovanni5156

4 жыл бұрын

Alfi Hanifah Prameswari That has been the single biggest joy I have found,,, Recognizing my kind. I see you.

I just like how all the comments on this video are well thought out comments that are written pretty well because we’re all INFJs haha. Grammar ftw

@ssboschky

4 жыл бұрын

Haha. I didn't even notice until now. That said, I was an infj a long time ago and have changed alot.

@nina10d

4 жыл бұрын

I noticed that too! Haha 😂 Feels weird but also satisfying at the same time!

@TaxEvasi0n

4 жыл бұрын

Probably took everyone 3 times longer to get it right, and proof read 5 times until it made no sense. And that’s when we know it’s time to post.

@ikram6245

4 жыл бұрын

@@TaxEvasi0n I do agree with everything but the last part; and that's when I know it's better to just delete the comment and go on.

@russell1206

4 жыл бұрын

Lol that's so true

I once participated in a city quiz the university organized for us "to get to know our fellow students". I had never met the girls in the group before, but I thought: Yeah, that could be fun. The thing was that they gradually excluded me and ignored my input. At one point, I was literally pointing them to the next clue while they were standing closer together debating where the next clue might be and then one of them pointed and yelled: Oh look, there it is! That was when I completely signed off and only followed them around to get it over with.

@jmeeksjr.7318

2 жыл бұрын

I don’t even get why people treat me like this

@faithworks217

Жыл бұрын

@@jmeeksjr.7318 They are self-centred and shallow.

I not only get ignored, people like to talk over me like I'm not even there.

I’ve constantly had backs turned on me. That’s why I avoid large gatherings like the plague.

Definitely was not out on a limb. I just wanna say I love you other INFJ's. I haven't met others like us, and it sucks. I'm glad I'm not alone

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

I love you too, man!

@persko_draws

5 жыл бұрын

Me too:((((

@krystle8534

5 жыл бұрын

@sfxmong5988

5 жыл бұрын

I met INFJs in the internet. Funny how we clicked and then I ask if she's INFJ and then I was right. Too bad I don't have another INFJ near me, I asked my nephews and nieces to test their types. I am most comfortable with my INFP nephew but there are a lot of times he forgets his goals and sometimes frustrates me, but I try to put him back on track so he won't lose his dreams.

@nilla1045

5 жыл бұрын

you made me tear up. Sometimes I feel so misunderstood and don’t know what to do, but I’m just 20, so I hope it’ll get better. Have a good day❤️

My mom is a very extroverted person. She always wants to me talk to people. When I try they pretend I'm not there because I don't speak up. EVEN WHEN I TRY TO SPEAK UP they ignore me. Then my mother asks me if I spoke to them and I have to be honest, I say no. Anddd shes disappointed in me.

Sometimes I fear I am noticeably quiet and force my self to start or join in on conversations, but I go too deep immediately and say something that gets interpreted as depressive or weird. Then they just look at me like "Haha, okimmatalkwiththisotherguynow. 😬" and I'm back to being quiet. It's easier when they're drunk.

"What do I accomplish by expressing myself?" The question of my life.

We don't have to ask someone loads of questions to learn about that person. We find out everything that we need to know by watching and listening.

@jojom1871

4 жыл бұрын

So true

@hannahgill3517

4 жыл бұрын

Exactly

@luciem5372

4 жыл бұрын

Yes give an extrovert some time and he'll tell you everything you need to know. Especially men trying to impress you ha ha

@marlo2919

4 жыл бұрын

Yes, that is exactly what I always say lol

@sonja7halcyon

4 жыл бұрын

Debbie Smith not always true.. sometimes an illusion! You make a decision in your own head about who that person is based on what you hear and observe, but that’s filtered through your own mental state and belief system.. granted some people are so transparent but your perception is not a clean slate it’s always filtered through your own beliefs and experiences, therefore you can never really have the full truth about someone. It’s actually impossible if you really think about it, and possibly narcissistic to think you could..!

I find this super interesting. One of my insecurities is that I feel unheard and unseen. And it hurts very deeply. I'm an INFJ but also a codependent in relationships. Usually fall for the people that I want to 'figure out' and usually ends in disaster as the people im interested in are either narcs or BPDs. Then all hell breaks loose. Wonder if being codependent and INFJ usually go hand in hand ? Edit: I also find groups super tiring. Like I like the company but I find it so tiring that I avoid groups of over 3 or more people . My brain is just constantly running and I get exhausted. Im in a healthcare profession that requires eye contact but I also do find people either get defensive and start insulting me in superficial ways when they see I'm present and have the eye contact, or they do the opposite and feel super intimate and over share things. It's so up and down.

@marieindia8116

3 жыл бұрын

I wouldn't say we go hand in hand with codependency but especially if we were raised in a dysfunctional family, we are the type that will most easily fall into that trap because we are so into our heads and don't share as much, and always trying to solve what might be unsolvable problems. However, we are also capable of doing the research on how to get better and apply it, as well as slamming the door...we need to slam them on the right people. Otherwise, predators read the signs on our foreheads and get attracted like vultures to our unhealthy selves. All the best in working on your issues.

I feel like I'm invisible until someone remembers a skill I have and wants to take advantage of it. Even my family only calls when they need a recipe or something. I've gotten to the same point where I just really don't bother trying to talk to people because I know they don't really care what I have to say.

It's really comforting to hear the way you speak, as I speak in the same manner. Slow, hesitant. I feel like we tend to come off as unintelligent, when we are really just thinking about how to make what we're saying actually mean something. It's nice to know that it's not just me.

@LaurenLinguist

5 жыл бұрын

I think we are natural public speakers, on the contrary, you should learn to embrace the power of your speech, especially because it's probably not frequent

@JazzyJess7

5 жыл бұрын

Yessss

@prettyskunky

5 жыл бұрын

And (don't know if this happens to others) when we're explaining something, we use such simple terms that you can tell people are assuming what we're saying will be dumb... only to realize there's some big truth, an interesting point or intuitive observation in what we said. Some people do realize it and come to appreciate your opinion later even willing to patiently let you finish getting your point across or asking for your opinion in big matters.... Others continue to assume we're dumb because they weren't listening the first time around...

@favouraffi424

5 жыл бұрын

I talk like this and end up sounding like Im unsure of myself or I don't know what I'm saying... To my ears anyway. Most times, I just shut it.

@MCPanda-bl3nc

4 жыл бұрын

If I am to say something relatively important in the deep sense, either I say it all as a big speech in my head and never remember it gain (oh well, there it went), or I manage to write about it in full. I don't bother giving intelligent thoughts that aren't to help in the moment if I know I won't be able to express them to the other person. Sometimes I manage to and it is great, but most of the time my brain breaks and I say it all messed up or it's too much for them to grasp and I'm like ok nevermind then. Sometimes I can't even socialize unless I stop thinking and go into talking mode and give what's on my mind. Because at the end of the day, speaking your mind even if it is about common interests or differing interests/personal opinion, it can open people up to your particular perspective as an INFJ and then they feel like it's manageable to talk with you more (I guess you're also putting out a bit more. I still get ignored sometimes even then to be fair tbh. Sometimes eventually I get tired and just zone out then suddenly jump back in when I hear something interesting, it annoys my sister) and if one day something happens with you, they will be there to lend an ear if they are your good friends. My friends like discussing so it's good & it can be liberating to share opninions/views on world problems or Idk talk about a show you like to watch for a bit. I tend to be a pretty direct person in the first place, try to get past or avoid small talk.

I'm glad I stumbled on this video. I have always asked myself "do I exist?" I feel like a ghost. Like no one sees me, but I'm there.

@fs5695

4 жыл бұрын

Shontal Moe Seriously, same here!

@edixasanchezpacheco3692

4 жыл бұрын

It’s a real feeling.

@amity4716

4 жыл бұрын

As an infj who is also a physically small lady, I find it hard to be visible. Even when trying I'm too soft spoken.

Misdiagnosed an INFP for years but now finding my INFJ reality, I definitely get the cameleon feeling. It's kind of like being.. an ambivert (gasp). People either don't get me at all and talk over what I'm trying to say, or seem to find my offerings charming and revelatory. At least that's what I read from their reactions! So it's great when I can manage to find the latter environment, but mostly I feel I live in a world where I do not belong.

@legendgamer676

4 жыл бұрын

I relate to this a lot. Even when I’m among my nearest and dearest friends I still sometimes feel that my thoughts are either not valued or even wanted. Maybe that’s not the case, but it doesn’t help when people talk over you. And then ask you “why are you so quiet?”. Why do you think? 😂

I have watched this a couple of times. It makes so much sense now. My whole 59 years of my life suffering from this issue. I’ve always tried to figure it out. I thought friends weren’t interested in me. I think I’m very interesting. It’s just that I am not a talker. It’s what you said, we absorb energy and take in other people. We are the listeners. That’s ok. I’m ok with that. I like listening.

Them: “ why aren’t you talking?” Me: do you want me to communicate? Them: yes! Me: I am. I’m listening. 😁

@joanadams7014

4 жыл бұрын

LinYouToo SO TRUE! lol I thought I was the only one who went through this

@Serai201

4 жыл бұрын

I don't know how many times people have been so mad with my saying that statement😂😂😂😂

@hellcat66able

4 жыл бұрын

Listening isn't communicating. You have to talk as well as listen. Otherwise the other person might as well be talking to a brick wall, even if all they want is a little grunt or a yeah to let them know you're listening.

@IamnikkF

4 жыл бұрын

This is me at work!

@frijolescrnbrd

4 жыл бұрын

Sometimes when I don’t talk people think there is something wrong. They’re like... why are you so quiet? I think sometimes I’d rather just observe, still participate but I don’t have to talk all the time. Sometimes it’s nicer to listen.

Sometimes in a group, there is so much energy and vibes coming at me, its so overwhelming, I cant possibly talk just because I am so busy trying to sort and process everything so not to go under. Often I just have to walk away.

@2esquared

4 жыл бұрын

When I still worked in a corporate environment with lots of colleagues and managers and people I never said anything in sales meetings. On the odd occasion that I díd say something or offered a solution to a problem people would just talk over me before I even finished my sentence. And then 2 minutes later when the top sales rep or manager says the same thing with gusto and conviction everyone says "Good idea, let's do that". And I would just sit there in quiet amazement and think "You bunch of fucking assholes.....". Probably ignored me because they were not used to me ever saying anything. And probably why I very seldom got good performance reviews, even if I exceeded my targets.

Took me 2 days of binge-watching your videos (instead of studying I'm in dental school), reading the comments section, and then typing this whilst constantly second-guessing whether I should write it or not, I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've always had a hard time keeping friends (surprisingly not making them), because you lose interest in how superficial they can be. I also get tired of becoming invisible, just because I don't want to say anything that doesn't really have meaning. I think a problem with INFJs is that they don't talk much either because they want whatever comes out of their mouth to be special/meaningful. This way, we talk less, because if you always say these special thoughts, you come off too intense and people have become more and more superficial as the years go by. Also, not to be rude, but sometimes extroverts are over-rated and really drain your energy. Hanging out with them its all about me me me, you don't even get a chance to open your mouth because they're always talking and of course naturally everyone's engaged if something's constantly moving. 11 years of reading why I am the way I am followed by self-therapy, constant self-guessing in personal life, school and work, your videos really hit home. Also, I have never ever liked so many comments in the comments section below in all my years on youtube. It's really nice to know and see I am not alone, and that I am normal. We are not weird, we are special. The world needs people like us, if there were more people like us in the world (healthy versions of INFJs), our world would be healing more rather than being destroyed. Also to all the people that think INFJs are too deep, at least we're not so self-absorbed and actually understand people. I'd rather be deep than superficial, and I feel as though people should stop judging INFJs so much. And we should stop judging ourselves too. Healthy thoughts to my fellow INFJs. Again, thank you, Frank James. Bless your mind.

When there’s not a natural space in conversation to say something often I end up not saying anything. Over time and learning things about different friends that I had conflicts with I discovered that others grew up in families that talk over each other and that’s their natural way of conversing, whereas for me my family culture (and at school) it was really really rude to talk over someone whilst they were talking. Realising that has helped me understand more from the others side, that they aren’t always trying to be excluding but it’s just how they’re used to functioning. The ideal situation for me would be before any conversation with different people is for everyone to admit what conversation style they default too, that way then being aware of where everyone’s at in terms of their conversational hopes and expectations and minimising misunderstanding others loudness or quietness

Infj are extremely old souls. We have been their done that

@sarcadistic9762

5 жыл бұрын

Ironically, when I joined an old soul community on facebook, I just cringed at all the drama, left and never looked back.

@ailliii

5 жыл бұрын

James Banks i don't agree with you, as i can't say that i'm (in my case) an old soul at all. I feel more like i'll always be 18 and i'm almost 20 and it doesn't seem to change. I respect your opinion tho cause i know a lot of infjs may be like that

@opaldeadventureersubscribe7825

5 жыл бұрын

@@sarcadistic9762 well the thing about old soul communities on Facebook is that they are normally full of people who think they are an old soul but technically they are immature and far from being an old soul... just understand that most people don't know who they actually are, it's more so a fake painted picture of themselves.

@AyanaSioux

5 жыл бұрын

@@opaldeadventureersubscribe7825 omg, I think this all the time. People will claim they know something about themselves and I'm looking at then like... that's not what i see but hey 🤷🏾‍♀️ i try not to question their integrity too hard but enough to hopefully trigger some introspection.

@chemtrooper

5 жыл бұрын

I don’t consider myself an old soul now. Maybe I will in another life. However I am attracted to legitimate old souls and love to hear their insights and opinions. I may have come across two or three people in my current lifetime who I would consider old souls and they tend to talk a lot. Like they have finally become ripened fruit and have a lot of knowledge to share. I’m not near that level yet. I feel I have one or two important things to learn and experience in this life and if I have done well in my life studies and test then I will “graduate “ to the next life, take on a new form, and learn whatever lessons the cosmos have planned for me then. I have come into contact with people who share the same spirit as others that I have known in my life. This is an interesting discovery that I think on a lot now.

Interesting- I thought I was the only person who felt like this - I also happen to be INFJ but never realized other INFJ had this same feeling. And it took me 5 minutes to even decide if I wanted to post this comment 😁

@ADara-er1qb

4 жыл бұрын

🤣💕🙌

@rosabscura

4 жыл бұрын

It’s crazy to find out how many people have an extremely similar thought process. Really helped me accept myself.

@lolkayleen2757

3 жыл бұрын

U made the right choice posting it, u added valuable and fun information to this comment section. Definitely relate as an INFJ 😂

love when people say "you're so quiet" but they never care to know why. had a random manager of a restaurant who served me ask why I was so quiet and then proceeded to keep blabb-- talking to the person I was with without letting me say why. I'm sorry, maybe I'm bitter, but I don't think people really care that much they just care about themselves and their narrow surroundings

This video is so calming for an INFJ

INFJ's are the rarest because we are blessed with our intutition and sixth sense. We struggle to adapt in an extroverted world, but once we master our extroverted side, we become very powerful. We are capable of changing the world around us.

@nithinram8262

4 жыл бұрын

Hi rosana

@bencehalmosi8919

4 жыл бұрын

magikarp?

@LauraBeeDannon

4 жыл бұрын

Yes. Charities unite!

"Does it matter if I express my opinion here..." This is exactly what goes through my mind.

Speaking as an extrovert (ENFP), you nailed that fear and uncertainty thing. It's hard to know what's going on with Introverts, especially INFJs, and it leaves me feeling vulnerable and uncertain how to engage. At the same time, I can respect the lack of need to throw words out without a real reason xD sometimes I wish I were more like that.

“Does it matter if I express my opinion here” has never been more true.

This really struck a cord with me. My whole life Ive been the quietest one in the room and I always feel like I'm just a passive observer of my own life. People always think I'm mysterious when really I'm just taking everything in. Thank you for helping me.

@skilyndeitrick7848

4 жыл бұрын

Joslynch i’m with you girl, i’m always labeled as too mysterious or people think i’m mean because i’m not talking to them and it’s such a big struggle because i’m aware that they are aware of how i come off but i can’t really do much about it? if that makes sense?

@annashepeleva1882

4 жыл бұрын

@@skilyndeitrick7848 exactly!

@drownedinnostalgia3433

3 жыл бұрын

Skilyn Deitrick it makes perfect sense!

You would be so perfect for a podcast: please put out a podcast, maybe even with guests. I relate completely to all of this, as an INFJ myself.

@jazzywooo

5 жыл бұрын

I second this!

i love how he carefully explain things, it comforts me/puts my mind on ease. as a fellow infj, it feels like i'm having a deep one-on-one talk with a friend. other people might find such conversation boring, but this is how i like my conversations to go.

As an INFJ, I rarely feel like I need to talk around people but I still kinda want them to include me. Sometimes it's not us, you know. It's just that they will ignore us. Whether we have something to say or not. They don't care about what we say because we are good listeners and we're expected to do just that. *opens mouth to speak* "Omg she/he talks!" *Can't care less about your words*

When I go to some parties people often ask me why am I so quiet...it almost sounds like they feel bad for me🤷🏽‍♂️ but I'm just observing everything..and I'm completely fine by it

@yesthatisababytoucan.youre6983

4 жыл бұрын

Oh my gosh yes, I have never understood why people pity me because I'm quiet, it seems so odd, and kind of patronizing 😂

@marcus813

3 жыл бұрын

So many people associated being taciturn with something being wrong with someone. I hate that things work that way. I want the stuff I say to mean something. Empty conversation isn't my cup of tea.

I get this all the time. Im an outcast in social settings. They don't want to deal with me. I am bored with lack of depth in a conversation and often I have to pretend to be interested. I need to find more INFJs and ENFPs

I get called unreadable a lot, especially at work. Sometimes I can be so absorbed in being absorbed. That I don't realize I'm not actually engaging. It can get awkward because I'll be listening to the conversation and engaging with it (in my head), so when I talk to people later I'll subconsciously do it in a more intimate way because I feel like I know that person, and I totally forget that I haven't actually spoken to the person before 😂