INFJ struggle- Can I help humanity without actually having to deal with people?

@SirinBayazit

4 жыл бұрын

Haha that's so accurate! 🤩

@Steve197201

4 жыл бұрын

Crazee Kids I laughed out loud at that one! It's so true! 😆

@TigerNightshade

4 жыл бұрын

Yes!

@andyward1948

4 жыл бұрын

A lot of us blog I think, something you care about.

@nosaizekor8389

4 жыл бұрын

Crazee Kids frank why do you have to come out of your shell you need boundaries be honest with yourself be truthful with yourself you are a man don't you like your comfort zone I like my comfort zone listen to your heart and instincts and your guts you are too nice

Does anybody else watch these videos when they need a deep conversation/connection? Because same.

@donnawoodward3163

Жыл бұрын

Yes I do🐱

@user-zy3fh6yz8x

8 ай бұрын

I especially like that FJ doesn't describe use negative, put down words to make INFJs the ugly cousin at the family reunion! 😅

@artistocracy

5 ай бұрын

Yes, Frank is my friend. We understand each other. 😊

I despise meaningless connections. I recently went through a terrible loss and a “friend” took me out for coffee but wouldn’t allow the conversation to go very deep. Why hang out if you don’t want a true connection? It’s 100 times more lonely than if I were home alone grieving.

@louisa7993

5 жыл бұрын

Ahhhh yesss couldn’t have said it better. Putting yourself out there, seeking connection, only to return home feeling more lonely than when you left. In the past year I’ve learned to assess a “friend’s” capacity for depth before attempting to lean into it

@p_i_k_a7622

4 жыл бұрын

I find that I’m more lonely with a room full of people than I am with just myself.

@itsyaboinadia

4 жыл бұрын

ikr small talk sucks the life out of me

@susancrome6200

4 жыл бұрын

An introvert can feel more lonely in a room full of people who aren't talking to them, than sitting somewhere by themselves.

@jharris7

4 жыл бұрын

How about when people say they want to make a meaningful connection with you, but as soon as you start to open up they hijack the conversation and make it all about them? It's easier to just let people talk about themselves because that's what they want to do anyway.

I felt every word. I rarely come across another person who feels how I do and I have the hardest time putting it into words but you did so perfectly. Most people don’t understand at all and I gave up trying to explain.

@sue7794

2 жыл бұрын

THIS is what I have to learn. Give up trying to explain, and accept that most people "can't handle the truth".

@AnnaIsHere

2 жыл бұрын

I feel so, too. I hope for salvation when I meet new people. And there happens to be a feeling that everyone is deep in their own "cell", so neither i'm interested in what interests them, nor they

@alien-vc6lk

2 жыл бұрын

My dad told me if ppl don't understand u, u shouldn't explain anything to them It's better to be misunderstood

"I'm tired of feeling repulsed by the world and by everyone in it" hahahahah AMEN

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

See, you get it.

@chaska2763

6 жыл бұрын

If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. John 15:19

@soulywomen

6 жыл бұрын

YESSSSS! EVERY. DAMN. DAY. Why am I yelling...

@MrDaniyuca

6 жыл бұрын

Amen

@gisellechauveau555

5 жыл бұрын

Amen.

That made so much sense to me. I'm 20 years old and I've always had this goal that I should come out of my shell, meet new people, make friends and get new experiences in order to be happy and find my true self. I feel like I'm wasting my time and youth by being alone. But the problem is, I always feel like an outsider with other people and I enjoy my own company more than others. I just don't see the point in socialising anymore - I don't gain anything from it. I have a few close friends that I only see once a month and that's enough for me. I just hope that one day I'll be able to accept that that's who I am and I can't be anyone else. I just can't stop thinking that I'm living my life wrong and I should try harder to change myself. But anyway, thank you for making these videos. It's so nice and liberating to see that there are other weird people like me out there. Hopefully I will meet some of these people in the future and feel the connection to other people that I have been missing all my life.

@s.m.3990

4 жыл бұрын

You're not weird and there's more than one way to be! If you don't enjoy or feel you need to connect with people that you don't have anything in common with then that's perfectly ok! If you like to be with your close friends and you enjoy your own company that's awesome! You are truly connected to what makes you happy, go with it. Just be kind to others and stay true to you. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you 🙂

@shyshysquad500

4 жыл бұрын

You just met one hi👋👋👋👏✊

@davidecuccato

4 жыл бұрын

Brother, I am 20 now, and I've felt my whole life like a weirdo or an idiot for being unable to socialize. I live in Italy, where extroversion is the thing to aspire to and introversion is regarded as a disease to be cured. I can't count the amount of people that told me to get out of my shell and pushed me in situations I didn't want to be in, thinking they were helping. I struggled through them and ruined my own youth because I couldn't say no to them, and I got closer to mental breakdown than I would be comfortable to admit in person. Now I finally accepted my introversion. I keep contact with a handful of people that I rarely see anyway; I speak if I am asked about, but I never actively seek social interactions. I decided that I will learn to live alone, and I've never been happier

@vedangarekar1390

4 жыл бұрын

Same thing Im 20 now and think the same things you said also related with what Frank said.

@andreabucaling5746

4 жыл бұрын

Same here

4:55 "It always feels like there's something I'm looking for that isn there" You just described how I've felt my whole life!!!

I can't tell if I get annoyed at myself for being so sensitive/empathetic, or annoyed that more people around me aren't. The irony of it is that as sensitive as I am, there are many things I find the majority of people care about and affect them, that don't phase me. Whereas, the things in life that can mentally cripple me, tend not to phase the majority of people. I think the reason why I keep to myself 99.9% of the time (when I'm not extroverting at work) is due to not only feeling that I have to shrink to surface conversations in order to "connect" with people which creates a deep sense of loneliness, but also because our sensitivity levels are so different. A couple of months ago, I accidentally stumbled upon a video on social media of a dog being abused by it's owner and picture still hasn't left my mind. Although it was a nano-second, I fell into such a dark place.. a feeling I can't describe, almost like I'd rather die than to continue feeling what I felt.. the helplessness and sadness was/is so heavy and raw. And even now, months later, it's still there. Whereas, people can see it, say "oh no that's terrible!", and then forget about it one minute later. Sometimes I think I'm jealous of people who are less empathetic, because they see things like that and go on with their lives ..and I'm stuck there. I know how to pretend and function as a normal person, but I feel so different from the face I have to put on for others to relate to me. It's the chameleon in me that I've mastered, but that I hate at the same time. And it's automatic now. I don't even know if I could be me in front of others if I tried. So of course I opt to be alone and real. I hope I don't sound like I'm complaining.. it's just nice to relate to people.. even if it's just through Cyber Space. Thanks FJeezy.

@Brokenwings20

3 жыл бұрын

Omg thank you so much for sharing! I totally feel you

@marckenleu795

3 жыл бұрын

Same😢 i hate being so overly sensitive

@lonesoul17

3 жыл бұрын

Same. My friend showed me a vedio about a person kicking his cat in our school van. I was horrified. Everyone else was laughing and just idk how they could be so unaffected. It wasn't just kicking lightly. He legit threw her at least a few metres or more away. It was such a small white kitten. I really doubt it survived that. And i legit sat here with my jaw hung open like an idiot trying to convince myself it was just editing. And there was this horrible sinking feeling in my heart and i felt so helpless. I was wishing so hard nothing happened to the cat. I- I didn't talk for a long time after that. I just couldn't. Till that day, I thought everyone else was like that too. How can they not be like... Idk don't they feel ..... Idk. Funny thing is I felt like the weird one. And these were the people i would generally call good kind people.. I've been more wary towards humanity in general since then.

I think infj's share the same brain does that sound weird? I'm watching you but hearing me...I mean I'm really really really hearing me it's a little trippy 🍄

@fursteveferret3771

6 жыл бұрын

Valencia Philomena us

@fursteveferret3771

6 жыл бұрын

Valencia Philomena You can't say loneliness has no loyalty it's always here to keep us company. Embrace your type...Trust your intuition always be yourself that way you will never get lost. After all it's just brought you to frank and frank has brought us to everyone.

@TheRaGiTe

6 жыл бұрын

Me too

@steviestock6480

6 жыл бұрын

Fursteve ferret This really is making me feel connected- to essentially hear my inner dialogue and even my exact steps in my process of...ah...growing and learning.

@ronaldbugajski8104

6 жыл бұрын

It did sound like I was listening to me

Frank - it took me a while to figure this one out when I was going thru the same sort of thing. What I realized: When we meet the emotional needs of others, we do so as deeply caring and deeply empathetic persons. Because of this, when it's time for us to have someone to meet our needs, we expect the same deep caring and deep empathy. Problem is, only a very tiny percentage of the population is even capable of this. I sifted thru my long lifetime for people who could connect with me on this level. I identified 2 people. Then I got busy reconnecting. I feel much better now. We DO have a need for people in our lives who understand us and care about us in a way that is satisfying. That will never go away. So, consider it a lifelong search for a few very special people. It will totally be worth it.

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I suppose it gets tiring in that search. When you're looking for something that is so rare, it becomes exhausting, doesn't it? I feel like letting go of the search might be the best way to let the things we're looking for find us. Maybe.

@jeffwilson8702

6 жыл бұрын

Interesting idea. Clearly the two individuals who came to mind for me found me, originally.

@gingko3766

6 жыл бұрын

They seem to arrive the moment we let go of the seeking (; The road home is beautiful

@ashamazon2262

6 жыл бұрын

Jeff I have come to the same conclusion. For me this is what gives life its meaning: mutually meeting emotional needs. I just finished my twenties and although I have had interesting conversations and even met people who share some of my interests -I am still searching for people who can connect with me on my level. This is my life’s journey. I have accepted I may never find those persons, but if necessary I will die trying. I will never give up.

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Jeff Wilson A little reciprocation would be nice. I would have stayed in my horrid marriage if he treated me even 1/10th as well as I treated him. How's that for lowered expectations? Now they are so high I don't think anyone will qualify.

I realized it just now, we're all looking for something REAL, real communication, real emotions, sincerity, damn it. A real interest in you. Most people are just superficial, and you feel like they don't care about you, but they either blatantly don't show interest or just pretend to. When they say something, ask, hear your answer, you don't feel connected to them, you don't feel real feelings. everything is so fake or just flat. what we want INFJ (well, or other types) is to feel really needed, that someone is really interested in us, and not just formally. God, it hurts me so much. I just want to feel something real.

I completely get you. I am an INFJ and I've struggled with friendships all my life and have concluded that alot of people aren't going to be for the vision of your life and so why bother. And aloneness is actually a gift.

My whole entire life I pushed myself to "become social/become "normal". When I was younger, I used alcohol to socialize, that was not healthy, had to stop. I chose to work as a hairstylist where I literally touch and talk to dozens of people every day, connecting with them, to push myself. It is so draining. I am WAY less sensitive now, the world is a rough place, a lot of people are assholes and would never live up to my crazy high standards of idealism..After 13 years of this, I'm now transitioning into working alone on a business. I can't wait to quit the salon and I will NOT miss people! I've learned that I want to be alone and that's awesome. I am who I am and life is too short to pretend anymore!!

@Marixpress2

4 жыл бұрын

Same to the alcohol and trying to be “normal.” At 39 years old I’m finally settling into my INFJness, unapologetically and it’s strange but glorious.

@Aja_risingsoul

Ай бұрын

Hey,same here, also a hairdresser,what do you do for your own business?i am interested!:-)

Me and my thoughts. Sentence for sentence.

@spacechampi0n

6 жыл бұрын

Same.

@Malachi86

5 жыл бұрын

Same... that's crazy!!!!

@MariamShaalan

5 жыл бұрын

@@Malachi86 Same

I swear you’re voicing so many thoughts I’ve had myself as an INFJ. And also your eyes are gorgeous.

being an INFJ, when i changed my outlook on life with my spirituality and finding my home in God. Once i made a relationship with Christ it changed my perspective on myself, my life, and the world and people around me. It helps me choose joy everyday and realize that my vision does line up with the most powerful being there is, and that gives me hope everyday in my messy thoughts.

@loreanrivera9895

14 күн бұрын

amen. Honestly I realized the Christian parents were so right when they taught me to not follow the world. People try to box us up with so many labels when many times our lack of acceptance is self sabotage.

Resonating with you a lot, almost feel like I'm watching myself

@MrAmadeo1001

5 жыл бұрын

I have the same... Sometimes I turn on your videos, I watch two minutes and feel like I've already done it

@zsemma6599

5 жыл бұрын

Same here.

@Ava.Luna.Bellatrix

5 жыл бұрын

He's reflecting me too much. I've never been reflected like this. I feel exposed,😶

@mariannek6735

4 жыл бұрын

Same here

@borinqueena1

4 жыл бұрын

INFP resonating with you, too ! Like watching myself.

I don't know if this is what you're trying to get to, but it sounds like you want companionship from like-minded people/people on a same wavelength as you, but those people are hard to find. There are just way too many people in the world, and trying to sort through them is extremely exhausting for very introverted people. I mean, I don't think I share your interests, but that's how I personally feel about my life. Life with companionship tends to be more exciting, and I'm envious of people who are able to find true friends to share many life experiences with.

@wawaranch1481

5 жыл бұрын

I think you are right

@tawanedesouza3088

5 жыл бұрын

I agree

@auroramcdaniel9092

5 жыл бұрын

I feel exactly the same

@deannamccurdy5672

5 жыл бұрын

I can agree with that to an extent. Everybody needs some “alone time”, right? Sometimes I feel completely content spending all day (almost every day! lol) with my boyfriend...but then out of no where...I just wanna be alone...& for no particular reason, I just feel a strong need to focus on me & not be “bothered” (for lack of a better word) ...in my head I’m like “ok ...that’s enough for now..plz leave the room now, like right now because I have to be alone or for some reason I can’t explain, I’m going to be in a pissy mood” & I hate when that happens because then I notice myself being unnecessarily rude to him & it’s not his fault lol...he didn’t piss me off & he also has no idea that I am feeling that way because I don’t tell him. Idk why..maybe I think it would hurt his feelings? Idk..but yea...it’s so conforming & just awesome to be with/or around people that “get you” in a way no or else does/or can...& that’s why we can be around each other so much & not argue (ever), we do have fun little debates but there’s no anger involved. So I suppose my point was just that I completely agree but I’m sure you all can also agree that we do all need our “me time”. 📴...💭....⏳

@patfonta8818

5 жыл бұрын

i found some good self help books on amazon

Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together: “Let him who cannot be alone beware of community…Let him who is not in community beware of being alone… ...

Currently going through this. It feels so good hearing another person that has my same thoughts. I feel less crazy.

INFJ: love me and leave me alone. At the same time. :D I think you need to meet an introvert, that way you can both have together-time as well as bubble-time. :)

Frank how do you do this so freely? I would kill to put my thoughts to camera so openly. It’s a struggle to get the words out without being in a jumbled mess in such situations.

@ontolog5871

5 жыл бұрын

Give up with perfectionism.

@Internet_user777

5 жыл бұрын

I became more vocal myself over time because one day it dawned on me that nobody cares as to what I say or do ultimately on trivial matter. as far as being judged on based what you say....come on you know whether you stay silent or not they will somehow misunderstand you anyways might as well put it out in the universe. also people can’t read your mind like you may read there minds, so do them a favor and put as many jumbled words out there and they can solve the mystery on their own.

And I don't feel lonely when I'm alone. But i do feel lonely when I'm with people.

I go into "shell mode" when I've been emotionally wounded. I've come to learn that just because one person has hurt my feelings doesn't mean I have to shut the rest of the world out forever and as you get older fewer things have the ability to wound you emotionally because you begin to understand where the other person is coming from.

INFJs must preserve themselves - we are very intuitive and sensitive to emotions and vibrations - we need a lot of recovery time after exposure to people. In addition we have no interest in superficial people or conversations. Having deep conversations and dropping truth bombs is very hard for many people to handle, but we are quite fearless in our approach to life's darkest, or unknown aspects to just seeking truth. We must go into the world in small excursions - because we need time to absorb meaning from our encounters and to ground ourselves again or cleanse ourselves of negative energies. A hermit crab is a hermit crab, and that's okay. I've read a story about a Buddhist nun who lived in a cave for 3 years straight, alone, meditating - when she came out, she was ready, and became an abbess of a very busy religious community of nuns. When you're ready, you'll be ready and your purpose will become clear.

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Nancy V That was beautiful, and explains why some days if I even get one thing done, I count it as a victory.

You make perfect sense: That’s the perplexity of it. Most people prefer not to think about it and remain in the oblivion of everyday things. That’s why we perceive them as shallow.

I feel like I'm listening to my own thoughts watching this

OMG I'm dealing with this right now. I feel like I SHOULD be more social, but I just don't feel like I want to. I feel weird for not needing to see people. I wonder if it's my anxiety and if it's a problem I need to fix. It's my introverted thinking in overdrive over thinking things. I totally relate to what you're saying in this video. Can't thank you enough for for your videos. I don't feel so different or weird now.

@emma6006

3 жыл бұрын

Completely understand how you feel!! I have always been such an anxious person that I wonder if it’s my anxiety that makes me want to be alone or whether I do just really genuinely prefer it. Anyway you’re not alone 🥰

Last year I had it in my head that if I could just find one person who I could really call a friend, I would be happy. And I tried and tried. I was going out of my comfort zone and putting on this air of confidence to try and attract people. And I did find one person! For a while, it felt like we were best friends. But the thing about relationships is that people move on. Finding a deep-rooted lasting relationship is so much more rare than I thought. And because I based my happiness around that one person, when they finally left, I was devastated. I'm still trying to be comfortable with the idea of being alone and not really having anybody (well, besides family), but sometimes it gets awful lonely and I feel like maybe I wasn't meant for this world. But it's comforting to know that there are other people who feel the same way I do. We're not as alone as we think we are; it's easy to forget that. So thank you for putting our thoughts and feelings into words. It means more than I can say.

@baharal-ramadhani5294

5 жыл бұрын

Cheez Whiz it is as if i am reading my thoughts written back at me. Even if we don’t find answers, knowing we aren’t alone in this is strangely comforting.

@caelanknight4543

5 жыл бұрын

I needed to hear this

@edawn7615

3 жыл бұрын

Me too

I totally get you man. I'm an INTJ and recently found my soulmate in an INFJ. We both feel the same way you do about people and the world and being alone. 🤔

This isn’t an INFJ issue. Sincerely, an ENFP loner who feels this way. More exhausting, being able to talk to anyone but connect with no one.

@tenthousanddaysofgratitude

4 жыл бұрын

NicoleShute I feel you, sister.

@hukihuki4135

4 жыл бұрын

Same here

@Sandromeda.

4 жыл бұрын

Agree. ENFPs and INFJs are quite a match I think. Same order of functions... I feel like a walking contradiction. Extroverted, needing people and adventures, but very sensitive, intuitive, philosophical, constantly longing for deep conversations & connection.

@muersy6919

2 жыл бұрын

My boyfriend Is a ENFP and I am an INFJ. I am so lucky to have Him because He is my social shield and can talk charmingly with everyone while we both see the shallowness and like to be by ourselves because no one is there he can Truly connect with outside of a benefiting relationship. The people around Him often need him more than He does ( maybe a classmate or something you know ) Maybe you can Download Boo or Ur my type and find yourself a loving INFJ💞

@soleanna7

2 жыл бұрын

This. I feel this deeply in my soul.

FJ, thank you for this reflection.. I've also fluctuated a lot in trying to be more sociable, I don't know, lear from people. But at the same time I just want to be interacting with myself inside my head it's all so much more comfortable. I once heard the phrase: "the problem with loneliness is because it talks a lot"

I was in my counseling session and was trying to tell her this through tears, but couldn't...thank you for sharing this. Good too know someone understands

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

I'm glad I could put into words what you were feeling

Epiphanies over the last few years to name a few: 1)major spiritual peroid: Buddhist principles on detachment and being in this world but not of it. Finally something that makes sense Strange moment #1: realizing you still have to live in and "amongst" the world and yet you're not motivated by things that the rst of society is. A general feeling of "So what now?" Is this it? 2)hermit mode locked on: Awkward realization #2: as much as I see absolutely no value in socialising, if I'm alone too much too regularly I gain lack of perspective of which I can only achieve with others( listening to them speak and seeing their thought processes behind that opinion and then applying it to my own to achieve a healthy / more balanced state of mind)

@ashamazon2262

6 жыл бұрын

I can relate. Discovering Buddhism or something like it seems to be truly a rite of passage for INFJs.

@brianrinz5586

6 жыл бұрын

I definitely looked into Buddhism, but ultimately, I find Ignatian spirituality (google Ignatian discernment, spiritual exercises, detachment) probably what most western INFJs are looking for. And more relatable. Just my suggestion!

@amberr9116

5 жыл бұрын

jesse henderson not only Buddhist teaching, but rather I find my hope in God. “If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you.” ‭‭John‬ ‭15:19‬ ‭NIV‬‬ We are not the same as the rest of the world because we are different from the rest of the world.

I'm so glad I found these older videos. Hoffman, Bill Montenegro, and Ford are all awesome... those aliens too. This however is something I desperately needed to hear. Thanks FJ.

"Is it helping me grow?" Good question.

I've decided this late in my life that I am what I am and my shell is there to not only protect me but to protect others as well. I am on the outside looking in and it is what it is.

That made perfect sense to me. You explained exactly how I feel and have felt for so many years.

The Buddhists call it "beginner's mind" -- the beginning of wisdom is knowing and acknowledging what we don't know.

_i feel like i'm watching my brain have a conversation with itself and it's so accurate it's freaking me out a littleee_

If you want to meet new people who are like you, there's no point on going to a party. There's no people like you there, and if there are you're not going to figure it out. If you want to meet people like you go to smth like a presentation of a book you like. Do activities that you're actually interested in and you certainly meet people like you

You truly speak my exact thoughts. I can't even begin to describe the happiness in finding your channel.

@yumisy111

6 жыл бұрын

Realist38 honestly same 😭🙌

FJ: If you've watched this far, you have a high threshold for pain. Me: oof! Too close to home!

Being lonely depresses me but trying to interact goes badly so I feel so trapped between a rock and a hard place

We INFJ are so unique that we don't have a match or someone that will understand us profoundly and accurately 100%, that's why we're very misunderstood, and we prefer rather being alone than wasting my energy explaining myself to someone that in the end will not get what I mean; that's why we are loners and we enjoy it in a way. I became to embrace my uniqueness(so i don't have to come out from my bubble).

Yes but you are deep. I agree that people are really different from us. I detest most popular culture stuff. I think then that would make it hard to find new friends. Definitely to find new friends on my level. That may seem harsh but I am on a spiritual path and I work at it. 99% of people just aren't the same. However the thing I have noticed is that if I go and try to find the places where people like me hang out I do occasionally become lucky and find people that I can relate to and be friends with. So I think what I am saying to you is, don't go to bars to find friends....Go to meditation groups or drum circles or something. Get out of your shell in the right circles. Other than that it's a waste of time trying to get Mr. bar fly to be your friend. Spirituality is a personal journey though. Sadhguru says it's silly to think we can go on it with a partner. It is an internal journey that we must take alone. That doesn't mean that we can't have spiritual people and friends that we can relate to along the way.

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

Ha ha, I guess I'm hoping I'll find another deep person who is misguidedly looking for human connection in bars.

@alifeinspired7792

6 жыл бұрын

Your too funny. Thank you for responding to my comments. When I respond to videos I believe I have something important to add otherwise I wouldn't say it. Usually I never get a response and feel like I am talking to the air but not with your channel. I feel heard. Thank you

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Margaret Simpson It is so very important to feel heard. We hear others, why can't they hear us? It is a basic human survival NEED.

@JasonHyde32

5 жыл бұрын

@@recoveringsoul755 I hear you.

I feel so much understood when I watch your videos that sometimes I wonder whether you really exist somewhere in this world.

Frank just said everything I could never explain. I totally get this

I gave up on many ppl. Especially if ur redpilled on top everything else. Ppl are unbelievable not self aware and I have no time for it.

@zain4019

4 жыл бұрын

Lara O'neal It’s sad to see some people so eagerly take in such hateful values. It’s almost as if the traditional, misogynistic, racist, homophobic values appeal to them more. And I’m sure they do. It’s a shame.

I love being in my shell, just sitting watching, listening, reading or thinking! So much more happier.

Probably the most relatable video you've ever made about us.

I'm an INFJ and for my whole life people have complained about my quietness and how I need to come out of my shell. It's this pressure from others which has caused me intense anxiety and stress with regards to communicating and it has only caused me to retreat further. I tend to come out of my shell with those who are accepting of my personality and those who I feel less anxious around. I also used to feel that I was missing something in life but that feeling went away when I converted to Islam. My belief is what has kept me going in life...I know I wouldn't cope without it.

@claystahl7002

2 жыл бұрын

Everybodyhastherighttoprotectthemselves

@AhmedMohamed-yj4mv

2 жыл бұрын

You have an amazing name..

Busted out laughing at the “high threshold of pain”. If there is a hell, the stuff INFJs think is funny would be the top reasons we’d get sent there. Not making light of your experience. Dude, I’ve never spent time wondering what the point of existence is. That would be too much for me. I don’t envy that unanswerable question. But I am aware I’m somehow searching for something. It’s elusive. Whatever that something is, it’s completely intangible... I feel ya.

@ggresham4419

4 жыл бұрын

Your humor comment is the stuff of my my fears my humor sometimes is what makes me think am I nuts and then I get arrogant with my internal inside joke

I’ve always felt I don’t fit in. I have high uncompromising values. And nothing is going to move me over to their low boundaries which is no boundaries. I don’t care anymore if I’m not accepted. I get everything ur saying. Ppl have no boundaries or morals today. You are a very cool person. You’re on point. Give yourself more credit. You are very sensitive and cool. I wish met ppl like you. Ppl just don’t get me. 👍🏻👍🏻💕💕💕💕👏

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Lara O'neal Those wicked narcissists are everywhere, and they seem drawn to people who are sensitive and empathic.

@laraoneal7284

6 жыл бұрын

Recovering Soul Absolutely.

I appreciate how honest he is. Everything he said in this video resonates with me and mirrors how I feel. Thanks for sharing.

Our inner world is bigger than the outer. The inner has substance and evolves, as long as it's fed, keeping us interested. The world around us is loud, chaotic, and dumped on us with a lot of useless packing, and people, regretfully. We need input from it, though, or we dry-up and feel hopeless. It is the soil from which we draw everything. You're filtering out more of the useless and upping the standard on what is worth your time and energy. You're maturing.

You're so good at observing yourself and articulating your thoughts that I don't even know if they are my thoughts or yours. I feel like I would really enjoy your writing.

Finding people- become good at finding your tribe. The softer spoken people, the ones with no 'affect'/ the non-posers. Non-overbearing personalities. People who have authenticity Social navigation is culling those you have nothing in common with but you can still be civil to.

You are not an "ugly duckling" sweet heart. You're a Swan.

I am so glad you are keeping these videos up although you dont like them anymore. To me, they are ones of the best things on the entire youtube. Thank you so much!

coming out of my shell has never been successful. The worst was people telling me I should "smile more" , ew.

@iluvwqcfrt15_53

4 жыл бұрын

"Smile more" whenever i hear that i think to myself: You are disgusting

I don't think I've ever related to anyone more in my life

You're more transparent and understandable than you realize. Don't worry about it.

Yeah, I went through rejection when I was a kid. That is why I avoided people and I think every INFJ goes through rejection at an early age...

I can identify with everything you've said. (And I've had many moments of drinking and embarrassing myself). I too am trying to embrace who, and how I am this year.

I dont want to come out my shell, but my manager told me I need to come out of shell. Honestly I don't really fully understand how to do that because I don't know how to be anything but me.

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

ChemicalStar 89 I had a manager who told me to talk louder on the phone and with customers. I wonder if this is why I've always liked turtles?

@kirknessfamily

4 жыл бұрын

I was basically told the same thing by my boss this week. She seems to think I'm scared to talk to people which really isn't the case but I also didn't want to take the time or energy to try to explain myself when she will likely never understand anyway.

I just found your channel and am so glad I did. As an INFJ I feel so different than pretty much everyone. I’ve always felt like I don’t belong in this world. It just seems so trivial. But now I can see I am not alone. I told my husband (also an introvert) that there are others like us, they are just in their own homes minding their own damn business. Anyway I wanted to comment on this video because recently with the new year I am going to try to be happier. Haha right? One thing that made me unhappy was putting so much pressure on myself to “cultivate friendships”. There is nothing I would rather do less than hang out with people I don’t really care about talking about things I don’t care about. No thanks just give me my bed and a good book, at 7:30 pm so I can be asleep at 8 because I’m so exhausted from my daily life. So I am also giving up trying to come out of my shell. This channel is my new favorite thing and making me very happy! Thank you!

It's amazing how your monologue resembles what I play over and over in my head on a daily basis o.o

Your eyes omg. They're standing out even more thanks to the colour of your clothes. Fellow infj and resonate with so much you say!

The answer to life, the universe, and everything is 42.

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

Ha ha thanks for being the first one to catch that.

@nyxian_grid

6 жыл бұрын

Hey, glad to :D

@recoveringsoul755

6 жыл бұрын

Liliana F you know there are the 42 laws of Ma'at, some Egyptian goddess I think. They are basically common sense.

@nyxian_grid

6 жыл бұрын

I didn't know, but that is awesome :P According to Douglas Adams' logic though, in program/computer language, 42 represents the asterisk, which is like the "wild" character, being able to represent any other. So, 42 is basically whatever you want it to be. That's the answer to life's meaning xD Common sense seems directly related to that!

I discovered your videos recently and it's unsettles me just how similar your thoughts are to hearing my own stream of consciousness. I can relate to everything you are saying here. I'm an INFJ girl in my late 20s and I have wrestled for years with my desire to form meaningful connections to others. I thought it was the key to living a meaningful life. I'm deeply interested in people but I often don't feel like I am one of them. I can't talk to people on a superficial level because it feels inauthentic but as over 90 percent of polite social conversation is superficial, I find myself on the outside observing rather than participating. Your videos are a big help to me, thankyou.

@FrankJames

6 жыл бұрын

thanks for your comment, I appreciate it

Your comment about accepting being a loner, but you don't want to get dragged down by 'the story' of being kept out - that hit home and made total sense.

I understand you very well, I'm in my 60's and you sound just like me. It's great to hear this after such a strange life.

Yeah I’ve been feeling more comfortable with the idea of being a loner. It’s not a bad thing and I stopped trying to change that vital part of myself. This is who I am and that’s ok.

@jessmt3265

5 жыл бұрын

Mikki 93 I had this “friend” in high school who always teased me/called me “Jessica the Recluse”. And it bothered me soooo much because it was clearly implied I was inadequate for being the way I am. I’ve come to a point in my life where I am comfortable being a recluse and am not trying to disprove it. I have my small circle and that’s enough for me. And screw that “friend” for making me feel not good enough for being different from him. We are who we are and it’s ok.

I am right here in life, but I want to be where Frank is right now in his life. I have been watching this channel for 6 years and I'm amazed by the transformation in Frank's life and how it is shown without being a "how to become your better self". But I really want to know how were you able to come out of your shell and be doing comedy as you do now. I'm a fan as well as an admirer of you, Frank James.

Believe me, you’re making perfect sense. You’re speaking every word I’ve ever battled with inside of me. I get you. I just don’t fit and I don’t know how to deal with it.

I almost went out to watch one of my 2 friends sing at a bar tonight . After I got ready I convinced myself very easily it would be a waste of time and it would be okay and nicer to stay home again. On one hand I feel like I'm missing out, on the other hand I think the people that go out and talk blah blah blah mostly about themselves are just shallow and vacuous. Errrgh.......so out of place in this bigger, louder, faster, brighter is better world.

I can relate. "“The wise man is one who knows what he does not know.” -Lao Tzu. Also have you read the Tao Te Ching translated by stephen mitchell? It's interesting in that enlightenment or being in the flow is more about releasing and emptying rather than deepening knowledge.

You took the words right out of my mouth. Or the words I would have said if I could communicate my thoughts in words at all.

I feel you! As an INFJ woman I had that fear of not finding a partner. As much as I enjoy being by myself I have desires of sharing my life with someone. I got my wish married for 7yrs now. He’s a loving & supportive (Extrovert )husband and he respects my need for alone time and all that goes with being an INFJ.

I think the loneliest I've been is when I layer social masks and for whatever reason I play the roles. I just accepted the I am a wanderer who is in constant wonder. Lol I am bingeing on your videos. Thanks a stalk keep them coming.

You took the words of out of my mouth and probably said them better than I ever could. I have always felt like an outsider looking in. It used to really bother me when I was younger and I always had trouble making friends. Now that I am an older, (slightly) wiser person, I have pretty much given up seeking out new friendships, but every once in a while I get lucky and meet someone who I feel an instant connection with and it feels like magic. I never comment on videos or even watch them really, but you speak such truth to me I feel compelled! Thank you for posting these videos. I feel like if we ever met, you might be one of those people.

Yeah! I love my shell. I only go out when I want to mingle. But I pretty much live in my shell. 😅

For me it's like being obsessed with a niche board game from the moment I was born. What is the best way to make people happy? How should society be structured? What is the nature of the human soul?? How can we be good people? What is the nature of the universe. By the age of 10 I had worked hard and had pretty good answers to these questions. But then I looked up and saw that everyone around me was collecting Pokemon. "Would you like to discuss the nature of truth?", "No you freak, I'm trying to level up my norgsodon.". When you share no common interests with those around you and those interests are what drive you, then what is there to be gained from social interaction? The shame that comes naturally from realizing your difference is not easily overcome. It took me half a life time to come to terms with it.

This is my daily struggle. I always thought I was the only one. Its causing me great distress. I'm afraid I will lose the few people in my life.

@charlottelouise209

Жыл бұрын

How are you now?

@flyingturtle9221

Жыл бұрын

@@charlottelouise209 Hi Charlotte, I'm in a much better space these days. I guess it's about finding the right people.

@charlottelouise209

Жыл бұрын

@@flyingturtle9221 I'm glad to hear that.

Thank you for these thoughtful videos, Jason Schwartzman.

These videos have been super helpful. Thank you for putting these complex thoughts/emotions into words. As an INFJ, I have found that God is the only being who could understand me. The best conversations, the most fulfilling ones I've had have been with Him and often through two-way journaling. No human (outside of Jesus), has been able to fulfill the depth of relationship I was seeking. I recommend all INFJs to start a conversation with God in the comfort of your bedroom. You won't be disappointed. I think we were designed for knowing and understanding God very intimately.

You are making TOTAL sense to me. I soooooo get it. I'm tired, so tired of trying to fit in somewhere! It's a fine delicate balance between giving a sh*t and not! 🙄

As someone who sincerely abhors not being understood when I'm trying to get some counsel instead of counseling someone else for a change thank you so much for sharing your struggles. It's Healing.

I think if my face was superimposed over yours you would be my doppleganger. Great thoughts. The struggle is real. I don't necessarily want to belong, but hate the feeling of being ostracized as well. You make perfect sense bro.

Your old videos are just a monologue from inside my brain

FJ ... You make perfect sense ... That's what's crazy! I'm so glad I found you're channel and figured out that I'm an infj ... The timing in my life has saved me and watching your videos has been helping me through a very difficult time! So i just want to say ... Thank You! As well as, yes ... You make sense ... more sense than I can make of what goes through my own head!

I wish I could meet you, I feel like everything you said is what I’ve gone through! As an INFJ you would be a great friend!!! Yes, I don’t feel like I’ve had a place, but I have had an awakening since I have come to terms with my INFJ personality! I love my Spirituality, it’s been apart of my life since I was young so each year I try to press in more! Been the best part of my purpose! It’s so meaningful not crap 🙂

The sensitive and out of place part hit so hard home, everything in me is shooketh. :) You literally are like the mirror of the very voice of my head, the monologues and unending conversations and questions that my mind generates every now and then. Especially at times when I've made brief and often failed social interactions, these exact thoughts plague me and i journal them or just let them float until I'm eventually distracted by something else. Plus you say you're not reactive (which is really good) as in my case its the opposite where i either lash out on people, become that "shell"fish, or just cry. Idk if that comes w being a female infp :') But, It is really comforting to see you share these thoughts and i feel at peace knowing there's a male version of me out there and perhaps many more like you, just there, supporting and sharing this vague mentality. (idk if any of this made any sense:') thanks for doing what you do. Been binge-watching your rants and i absolutely love them.

Oh wow. This kind of honesty is so refreshing. I love your subtlety and awareness of yourself. I like seeing this spiritual side of FJ. I now get it why I am hooked to your videos - they seem to come from a very true place. Truly inspiring.

Totally relating to this video. I don’t mind being outside as long as I don’t feel like I’m not being excluded. Totally get that. They are two different things that seem parallel but are not. I’ve been disconnecting from relationships lately. Feeling soo sensitive. And feeling like that isolation gives perspective.

Haha great funnily enough this is what ive been feeling and thinking about lately. Awesome how i found ur vids now. Enjoy the fomat of the vid u jus sharing ur thought. Got alot of insights too and your voice is deep n relaxing n the speed of ur speech helps to hear all uve got to say too.

We should have a support group. I think many of us feel the same way. I feel like I don’t come across the right people (or timing). Would love to meet and be friends with someone like you in this world.

You make a lot of sense! You are an old soul. You are very conscious.

With your huge degree of honesty, you are bound to continue to grow more comfortable with your nature. Thank you for sharing. So much of what you say is so easy to relate to.