From a guy's perspective: A guy who hasn't been married in his 40s/50s/60s isn't a red flag -- however, it presents question which need to answered. Why is he on this path? And has he changed his goals, and, if so, why? The answer to those questions may well contain a red flag, but they might not. About him being rude to wait staff: THAT's a RED FLAG! As you observed, that is a manifestation of something out of whack -- selfishness, stress (transitory or persistent), inflated view of self, something. FWIW if I were in that situation and a woman I was with was rude to wait staff, I'd probably do more or less what you did. In this case, I think you found out part of the reason why he hasn't married; a person would have to be pretty desperate to pair up with someone who is rude and/or mean-spirited. And bravo for you for leaving the tip! With everything going on in the economy in the past couple years, I've been mindful to try to tip well when the opportunity presents itself. These waiters are struggling to survive, as are many of the restaurants that employ them. Just stumbled across your channel this morning. If you don't mind a male perspective (I see mostly women commenting), I'd be happy to chime in occasionally. Peace.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hello, I am honored that you are part of this community. Your words of wisdom is needed to be heard. I appreciate you interacting and I look forward to hearing your perspective. May you have a wonderful week and cheers to you! Blessings, Tessie

The way he treated the waiter is a big red flag

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

I agree. Thank you for being here! have a great week.

There are many reasons people don’t have their own children. Wait until you understand their “why” before making up your mind about someone. KEEP FISHING MY FRIEND 😁.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe I should try a different bait!

You are a very wise woman. You did the right thing by letting him go. I would have responded the exact same way including waiting until I was apart from him to process what happened before saying yes to a second date. I would certainly have questions about a man that has never married or had children, but I believe everyone deserves a chance.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

Жыл бұрын

Hi Rachel, Thank you for great comment. I'm in a place in my life where I am not dating just to get a free meal. Our time is valuable and we must know our worth. I had my fair share of making mistakes and this is why I am in no hurry. Again, thank you for being here! Have a great SUnday!

Hmm, as for men that have never been married & have no kids, I wouldn’t say it’s a red flag but would say, proceed with caution. 😁 One thing I’d look for in a man, if I were single and dating is to observe how they treat others. I think you did the right thing. Okay, now, “NEXT!” Lol

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi my friend!!! Yes...NEXT!!! I am proceeding with caution with all color flags from the rainbow! HOw are you?

@LisaCisaPisa

2 жыл бұрын

@@unfoldingwithgrace3640 All is well and back in real estate (new home builder). Nice to see you unfolding with grace. 🥰

You handled this situation perfectly Tessie. How people treat others and not just you is so telling about their character. This guy sounds like a narcissistic man who lacks any compassion. It was unfortunate but also a blessing that you were able to see his true side. Someone better will come along!

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hello, Thank you for your insight. My gut was telling me that he lacked compassion and he may treat me the same way. I appreciate you watching and giving any suggestions. Have a great week! Blessings, Tessie

This is the first time I've watched one of your videos. I think your approach was right on target. The way he treated the wait staff, to me, was a huge red flag. The second one was the tip. Good for you for bowing out. Don't give up. There are a lot of great guys out there who will care about you. They may not be tall or handsome but caring about you speaks volumes. I've been on eHarmony since last December and have met a lot of really great ladies. I just haven't found the one, but I never give up hope. All the best to you!!

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

Жыл бұрын

HI Keith, Thank you for stopping by. I am in agreement with you. I find myself attracted to a man where our values align and we have mutual respect. Looks are an added bonus. Fortunately, this date showed his true colors early. I must admit, on the drive home I questioned if I was being too hard on him. But I followed my gut instinct. I know there are plenty of good men still out there!! I'm glad you are out there dating and not giving up. I would love to hear about your journey. Hope to have you engage in upcoming videos. Have a fantastic weekend!!! Blessings, Tessie

@keithwinnick3135

Жыл бұрын

@@unfoldingwithgrace3640 Hi Tessie! I applaud you for your emphasis on values and respect. We all age but beauty from within is forever. I would be happy to share my journey. I've been on Eharmony for about 9 months and it's been joys and disappointments. Such is life. That's about all I wish to share publicly. If you have a public email please let me know. Blessings!!

"when they show you who they are, believe them " hugsc connie

@conniemurphyover70stillgla47

2 жыл бұрын

you didnt show up in my notification list .

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Connie, Yes....I am proceeding with caution. I noticed that KZread will drop subscribers at their discretion. Some days my subscribers will go down and I noticed that i dont receive any notification from you either but it still shows that I am your subscriber. Geeze.....I wish KZread will let us know!

@namalpresath6613

2 жыл бұрын

@@conniemurphyover70stillgla47 hi can I be your men we can create a memorable life together hope you heat say yes I

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

@@conniemurphyover70stillgla47 Hi ❤❤

You’re a sweetheart!!! I’m also a woman in my 50 and that man was absolutely arrogant and mean you did all the right things good luck to you!! 🫶🏼🙏🏼

I was excited to hear about this and looking forward for this kind of video of yours 😃 😊. And of hearing the details, dating is exciting! Unfortunately there are some sort of red flags, the sooner you see them the better. Would like to hear more. Wish you the best my friend!

Wonderful video, I personally think you did the right thing, always listen to your gut feeling. Don’t know about dating men that were never married or have children but ex wives can be nasty as well, my husband’s ex made our life miserable for 17 years. Such a beautiful area you live in, it was nice to see Canada geese enjoying themselves there. Have a great day Tessie 💗💗👩🏻‍🦳🥰

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Louise, My ex-husband is quite lucky! His divorced friends wished their ex's treated them the way I treated my ex. I didnt take him to the cleaners and shared all the joys and challenges with raising the kids. We are friends and I adore his new wife. Wow! I didnt know that geese were from Canada!!! I guess they wanted to get away from the chilly weather there! Have a great week! Blessings, Tessie

When my first marriage ended and I was dating again in my late 30’s, I was almost exclusively meeting men who hadn’t been married or had kids. It’s less of a red flag at that age, but a few of those guys are still single and unmarried and now they’re mid-40’s and pushing 50. I’m not sure what to make of it, but I eventually remarried a man who was divorced with an adult daughter. He is just so much more mature and self-aware and I think there’s a connection. I don’t blame you with this one. I refuse to be embarrassed by brutes.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Beth, Thank you for sharing your insight. YOu give me hope for marriage. I too do not know what to think of these single older men...I dont want to be judgemental but from what I experienced with the last two, they are quite self centered. I will keep my heart and options open!

@wendyberger8892

2 жыл бұрын

I respectfully disagree that men who have not married and approaching 50’s and 60’s is somewhat “unnatural”. Just because people are more selective about who they marry does not mean you have to worry about them! Good grief! I think the person who created this idea and notion that people who have never married are deviant in someway is a total sham made up by people who do not think critically about who they marry!

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

@@wendyberger8892 Hello Wendy, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I do not want to generalize nor put "never been married and never had kids' in a category. This has only been my experience with the two men that I met off the site. I try to find the good in people but when their actions prove that they have selfish tendencies, I find it unattractive. There are people who are single and married who have this type of behavior as well. Regardless, it is a character trait that doesn't enhance my life. I believe in treating people with respect, honesty and kindness. I appreciate your transparency on this topic. Thank you for watching and i hope to hear from you on my next video. Have a wonderful week. Tessie

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

@@wendyberger8892 Hi Wendy, Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I try to find the good in people. Please know that this is only my experience. I realize that there are selfish people out there who are single and not. It is a character trait that is not appealing to me. Considering that I am fairly new to dating again, I'm just trying to navigate through this season. I appreciate your comment and hope to hear more from you as I respect to hear all perspective. Thank you for watching. Have a great week. Blessings, Tessie

Thank you for sharing!

Wow very nice and beautiful views good sharing stay blessed stay tuned ♥️👍👍

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Aww...thank you for watching. I truly appreciate you being here. BLessings, Tessie

You did the right thing. You listened to your intution She never fails

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for your words of encouragement. Happy you are here. Blessings, Tessie

Wow wonderful video uploaded thanks for sharing my dear friend

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Awww..Thank you for watching! Have a great week!

I wish you all the best my dear friend. prayers for you . God bless

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

You are so kind. Thank you for the prayers!

Hi Tess! Just wanted you to know that I enjoy your videos. I am at the same stage of life as you are, transitioning to grey, divorced, fine-tuning my authenticity...not quite as brave as you are though! Would love to date but cringe at the idea of internet dating! And I kinda like my own company! ♡ Kind regards from France! Natalie

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Natalie my silver sister! sorry for the late response. Welcome! I had to postpone my trip to France due to the pandemic but looking forward to getting back there! I am glad we are going through this season together. Fine-tuning your authenticity is BRAVE! Acknowledging our needs and taking action is courageous. Most people tend to stay stuck and do not want to smell the roses. I hope you will continue to share your journey and help me along the way too! May you have a beautiful week! Blessings, Tessie

I had a date with a angry little man that yelled at our waitress for bothering us too much! I should have walked out immediately after. He also didn’t even offer to share the app he didn’t finish. I judge how the most powerful cat in the room treats the least powerful. Horrible human. Thank goodness you tipped! And what man is to busy to text you!? I don’t care if he’s the President….they make time if they want to.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

Жыл бұрын

We both dodged some doozies! I'm still hopeful to meet a gem. Until then, I'm loving on myself! Hope you are doing the same! Thank you for watching. I would love any suggestions you may have. Have a great weekend!

Hi Tessie this guy sounds like he didn’t have the fruits of the spirit not only was he a rude person but it sounds like he didn’t have etiquette anyway just keep enjoying life enjoy your new grandbaby and enjoy your family and that special man will come in your life because He will see the joy that you have

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Cali, THank you for watching. I am proceeding with caution. And yes!!! It's all about enjoying family. I appreciate your kind words. Have a great week! Blessings, Tessie

Good for you going with your survival instincts (aka gut), Tessie. Agreed about the never married part being a red flag…no kids could be a physical malady. Prayers for whatever is best for you!🤗

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi THeresa, Thank you for your insight. I will keep my mindset open with caution! THank you for your prayers. You truly are a wonderful person. Blessings, Tessie

You handled the situation well- good for you. Follow your instincts. As for men 50+ & never married, it’s not necessarily a red flag. Selfishness and/or personality disorders are not limited to older single guys…its more likely they’d be more selfish if they have no one to care for but its not a given. There are tons of selfish ppl out there…single or not. You are on the right track looking for a partner in which you complement each other’s lives. Self-awareness & knowing your values are key starting points for finding the one. Good luck & keep sharing your journey.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hello Matt, Thank you for your wisdom and your perspective from a male's view. It is challenging to be single and dating at my age but I am learning how to navigate through this journey without compromising my values. I appreciate your comment and I hope to hear from you on my next video. Blessings to you, Tessie

Hello I think you did the right thing God bless you hop3 tha best for you

P.s. love, Love, LOVE those fuzzy, heart footprint slippers 🥰

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

I love them too! THey are so cozy!!!

When my first husband had pass away=cancer. married for short time. he was still single in 40'S and I'm his first wife. He was a blessing to me. Then 3 years later i got remarried again to my husband now. He is still single and never been married in his 40's. He is a blessing to me. He is army veteran . Was travelling many countries. Currently he is Registered Nurse. Wonderful, supportive, awesome, nice. He is everything tome. He Love The Lord. We dont lost hope. Keep praying and have Faith. The Lord Jesus Christ Will Answered our Prayers and heard our cry. My friend you are a wonderful woman. I'm praying for you in The Lord's Will.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi My friend, I am so sorry to hear about your loss. God blessed you with a wonderful man. I love your videos showcasing your relationship. You give me hope!!! Please let him know I am grateful for his service and also for being a frontline worker. Our world couldn't of gotten here without them! I appreciate all your prayers and I am surrendering this to God! He knows the desires of my heart. Blessings my friends. Tessie

Follow your instincts honey. Never married and no kids by our season of life is an indicator of a few things - they're possibly a player, they're married to their job and have no time for a relationship but need someone to show off to their colleagues, or they're fibbing... call me a sceptic, but you may recall me recounting some tales of complete doozies I met during my time on dating sites!! Also like you I seemed to always attract the same type (the very newly widowed in my case though I wasn't widowed myself) and was told it was the kind of energy my profile projected. Worth thinking about, though I don't know how one goes about changing that! You're a lovely lady Tessie, keep your wits about you and be careful. X

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

HI Jean, WoW. Your words of wisdom is on point! I do remember you sharing some of your stories and I appreciate your suggestions. I am no longer on the site and proceeding with CAUTION! I did date a man that was strapped to his phone and computer climbing the corporate ladder. Money was more important than building a loving relationship. I had to excuse myself from that relationship because I knew I wanted a partner that was present in the moment. Well...lets see what unfolds next. Thank you for watching. Have a fantastic week! Blessings, Tessie

@JT1358

2 жыл бұрын

@@unfoldingwithgrace3640 Dating sites CAN work (we've been together two and a half years now) but they can also be HARD work, and are not for everybody. Much love from UK, and I await the next episode with bated breath! X

Sorry Tessie. So much I could say but I'll leave as NEXT!!!

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Deborah, LOVE IT!!!! NEXT!! proceeding with caution with reg flags with all the colors of the rainbow! Thank you for being here! Have a great week!

I’m glad you wait to say thank you but no thanks , always be safe … well Tessie I find a few of our single friends male and female we have 3 of them are wonderful people but yes quite self centred I find at times it’s a bit challenging for me not to say it’s not all about you 😱 .( but I have said it ) Life I find is always happier when it’s lived on a two way street. And oh we had a very good friend that behaved so rude and would treat people in the service industry terrible, that in it self tells a lot about one’s character great assets my friend always trust your gut and don’t waiver from you expectations in a partner , the old saying when someone shows you who they are believe them , the first time :) Hugs XoX

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Liedy, I apologize for the late response. I have been so busy and I'm finally getting around to responding and watching videos! Wow! Your perspective and experience validated that there is a reason that they are still SINGLE. I hope that I never have that type of behavior. When people question me "why am I still single?" I feel as if there is something wrong with me. I try my best to be kind and compassionate and pray that God will one day bless me with a good man. You give me hope with your beautiful relationship. I loved your New Years video! THank you for your insight and I am proceeding with caution! I'm watching your video as soon as I finish replying to all the comments. Have a fantastic week Liedy! Blessings, Tessie

@liedyMc

2 жыл бұрын

@@unfoldingwithgrace3640 Tessie I don't think you need to worry you are just not that person 🥰

@namalpresath6613

2 жыл бұрын

@@liedyMc hi can I be your men we can create a memorable life together hope you heat say

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

I love u real and true 😍😍😘😘😗😗😚😚😚❤❤ I like u 🌷🌷🌷👧👧👧 I m intrested

I don’t think it’s fair to generalize about people. Who knows why he is self-centered and treats service people poorly. The point is people show you who they are. I think you made a wise choice. I would’ve done the same. That’s exactly what dates are for, to see if there is a spark. This is exactly why I do not engage of months of texting. I like to meet someone as soon as possible for a quick coffee or a walk. If there’s a spark I will go out again. I like to see how he treats other people and interacts in his environment. I like to see if they have connections with their family, and how they treat their family members. You cannot establish this information over texting. People can write and say whomever they want you to believe they are. Actions speak louder than words, so I like to interact in real time. I never have understood this texting culture. It’s great for making arrangements and checking in, But until there’s an established relationship, I have no desire to text for conversations back-and-forth. Or, they can pick up the phone and call me. Voice , tone and conversation can be very informational as well. Plus, it tells me he’s invested enough to pick up the phone take a few minutes and call me.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hello, I am 100% in agreement with you! The only reason why I did not meet him quickly is due to the holidays. I didnt want him to feel obligated to spend money on me and expect something in return. (New Year's Eve). I too do not like to text. We had virtual conversations over the eharmony site but again, words are just words. It isnt until you see the behavior amongst people. My last relationship with Mr. Wonderful was a hot mess. His words did not align and out of loneliness I remained in the relationship in hopes that he would change his ways. Navigating dating at my age has proven challenging but I am learning as I go. I will be putting out a video hopefully that will give an update on my journey. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. Your comment is not only helpful to me bu to others in the community. May you have a wonderful week. Blessings, Tessie

Like and support done.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much! Blessings, Tessie

Don’t do It again. Not safe I don’t trust dating sites love you 😘

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Geraldine, I'm taking a break for now. I did have an old friend come out of the woodwork and I am proceeding with caution! Thank you for watching out for me! Hugs and more hugs to you!!!

Never been married and no children is definitely a red flag!

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Annie, Thank you for watching. Have you had any experience with this?

@anniealexander9616

2 жыл бұрын

@@unfoldingwithgrace3640 Yes. From what I've seen, these types of men will only have a serious relationship with a woman who friend zones them. They are fine with companionship but want to sleep in the other room. They might want quick sex but then want to sleep alone. They are also self centered. One of my childless never been married friends, went out on a date with a woman who was also childless and never been married. He said she complained to the waitress so much that it embarrassed him. I told him now he knows what I go through being friends with him. He was shocked and said he isn't self centered. I remind him that he always has the latest iPhone and an upgraded laptop. He can't understand why everyone else doesn't have these things. Last year, my friend got a new truck while still oweing payments on his car. It shocks him that I'm continuing to drive an Altima with no payments. I have a senior in high school and lots of responsibility. He can't possibly imagine.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

@@anniealexander9616 I remember when I first got out of my abusive relationship in 2017, a movie came out with Jane Fonda and Robert Redford (Our souls at night), and I thought it was a lovely movie but never would I want to live out the rest of my life like that. Here I am 5 years later, and now contemplating that type of a relationship. If you haven't watched the movie, you may want to take a peak. I am still thinking positive that there is HOPE for attaining LOVE, but as I get older, I am getting more set in my ways. Just from my experience, I found that men who have been married and have children are more aware of what it takes to be in a committed relationship. Sacrifice, sharing, compromise, flexibility, compassion and patience are characteristics of a person that has experienced giving love and receiving love. I thank you for sharing your wisdom. You shared some valuable insight. Thank you for watching the video and I look forward to hearing more of your thoughts and suggestions. Have a great week! Blessings, Tessie

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

@@anniealexander9616 do u want to me some kids I m intrested with u I love kids 👪👪👪👪❤❤❤😍😍😍😍🌷🌷

I think you did very well and that was very wise if he treats waiters in such a degrading manner it's just a telltale sign that you will be next .

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, my instincts were telling me that this type of behavior was not acceptable. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Blessings to you, Tessie

@lizzysbeautyshowetc.6895

2 жыл бұрын

@@unfoldingwithgrace3640 And blessings to you too my friend you did the right thing

I knew the other shoe was going to drop.

I liked hearing about your date! Did you say you weren’t continuing with eharmony? If so, don’t give up just because of this guy. The not tipping the waiter would have turned me off too! I’ve had some good and bad experiences with dating apps. So I’m taking a much needed man break. I might try online dating again in the spring because it’s really the only place we have to meet single men. Seriously, what else can we do?

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi there, I am no longer on eharmony because I didnt renew my membership. Thank you for your encouraging words. As hard as some of these servers work, they need to be honored. Please keep me updated on your dating journey. I would love any input. I'm here for you! Have a great week! Blessings, Tessie

You probably should have paid for your meal and then it would have been easier to tell him you're not interested.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hell Fur Baby, You probably are right. Thank you for sharing your insight. I appreciate that you are here. Have a great week!

It is so weird I am also meaning men that have never been married and don't have children and there are in their fifties really strange

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hello, Are you meeting them online?

@lizzysbeautyshowetc.6895

2 жыл бұрын

@@unfoldingwithgrace3640 I am meeting them online where I live there's a lot of married people And especially at work as well 😀😃

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

Hi ❤❤

That was a red flag 🚩! No doubt! Although, I think you should tell him what influenced your opinion of him. Give him a chance to see himself. This is hard for egotistical people to do. Maybe he is simply oblivious to his outward reaction and no one has ever revealed this to him. Manors must be taught as they are not innate qualities . There was something attractive you seen in his personality. I’m not suggesting you give him another chance, that’s up to you but…leave him with words of wisdom and pray he has the aptitude to consume.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Christina, I don't know if I am the person to share his lack of mannerism. I didn't want to take a chance that he would treat me like how he treated the waiter. If he would of responded to my text and ask why...I may of shared my insight. Like you said...I have to kiss alot of frogs to get my prince. (Due to the pandemic, an elbow bump is sufficient.). LOL!!

🥊🏓🌶🍅🍎🍓🍉🍒🎯🎯🖍📌📣🎒I couldn't find a red flag, so anything red I threw it out. Men who at our age 50 plus never been married, no kids!! ✋ stop. Its very telling! They are self centered Tessie! Don't waste your precious time!! Good for you!

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

2 жыл бұрын

Hi JM. I love all your red emojis!!!!! Thank you for your insight and I am certainly proceeding with CAUTION!!! Have a great week! Blessings, Tessie

@ImranKhan-tj3dr

Жыл бұрын

I m here for u 💝💝❤❤👧👧🌷🌷👄👄💏💏💋💋😍😍🙋🙋🙋

what is Eharmony itself like as a platform is it worth signing up to? because i have read a lot of negative reviews as far as cancelling your subscription etc have you had any bad customer service issues? like anything people are going to be more likely to leave negative reviews then positive ones i am wondering if this is what it is like with eharmony?

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

11 ай бұрын

Hello, thank you for stopping by. Unfortunately I was only on it for a short time because the person that I met wanted to be. So I lonely used it for 2 weeks. I regret, not exploring my options in settling for the first person. If I were to do it again, I would definitely go on more than a few dates. I didn’t encounter any issues. Good luck to you and please keep me posted on your experience.

@unfoldingwithgrace3640

11 ай бұрын

My apologies. Definitely voice text jumbled up my words. Hope you were able to decipher what I was trying to say.

@mylesadams1662

11 ай бұрын

I get the general idea 😂 oh ok I hope you have better luck when you date again.. 😊 people complain about that they cancelled their membership but still were being charged for their subscription so is there the proper way to do so? when you decided to close your account down is there a offical way to make sure your subscription is ended before you completely delete your account?