He looks like the kind of guy who would break his leg trying to dunk a basketball.

@WNM101

3 жыл бұрын

He’s not that guy Because he didn’t break his leg

@hova5025

3 жыл бұрын

Dumb F#€k, it was his 💪🏻

@Gruso57

3 жыл бұрын

Comment would've been good if you listed what he actually broke.

@epheyeTK

3 жыл бұрын

Lmao YOU GOT IT!

@sovalouX

3 жыл бұрын

You guys he's kinda right even being wrong lol he is the guy who did get fucked up trying to dunk and he did tear his tendon in his leg btw morons

Dude in the bushes was like " I BEEN OUT HERE FOR A MINUTE!"

@courtsidewithjerome88

2 жыл бұрын

Cricket lol

@jonprange6665

2 жыл бұрын

i been knowin cricket 27 years!!! he came through last week with Jellyfish; They Were Lookin for Some SMOKE!!!!!!!!!!

@Tommyoda

Жыл бұрын

i know the voice 🤣💦

@yuhyuh7603

Жыл бұрын

Alright calm down

@chocolatekyppcookie

2 ай бұрын

CRICKET RIGHT THERE

“Fights are awful, but I watched it.” Tom is literally all of us, but just honest about it.

@LeninovaPles

2 жыл бұрын

Definitely not all of us, I found it distasteful.

@cianwyn4605

2 жыл бұрын

Not all of us lie about who we are

@AlaluofNibiru

2 жыл бұрын

I’ve never watched a fight from the sidelines. Real men break up fights w/ strangers and protect when it’s someone you know. The old saying was “ If the white doesn’t win we all jump in” I guess that fizzled out few years ago when Fathers decided to stop raising their sons to be a gentleman.

@cianwyn4605

2 жыл бұрын

@@AlaluofNibiru real men aren't posting shit about real men getting involved in strangers shit to prove their manliness on KZread

@AndrewBarsky

2 жыл бұрын

@@AlaluofNibiru Do you understand what comedy is? It’s not to be taken literally. I’m glad that you are superior to all of us. It’s a fictional story. Get a hold of yourself.

The way Tom delivers the "mm-hmm no" is hysterical to me.

@AbbaZabbaOlyFrn

Жыл бұрын

"Not in my park, nu-huh" 😂

@KickflipGnasty

Ай бұрын

He’s incredible with little nuances like that 😂

“Those guys are obvious” murders me every time

@potatoensalada1951

2 жыл бұрын

Ikr first degree

@mu6554

2 жыл бұрын

I didn’t get that reference?

@matthaeusperry4319

2 жыл бұрын

@@mu6554 the kkk, or the ku klux klan

@teasp00ns

2 жыл бұрын

@@mu6554 and white nationalists, neo-nazis. The whole spread

@CoffeeFresh_

Жыл бұрын

@@mu6554 its a direct reference to the Charlottesville incident. Where people wanted to tear down a statue so white guy dressed in plad flannels showed up with tiki torches.

When he said "Mur-derd" I lost it 😂😂

NOOO!!! Him, him. Our him. Kills me every time.

“He calls him a nuauaaua.” 🤣🤣😅

@tuckernevel

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

The way he said "get em" and "noo"😂😂😂. Man....I'm done💯

@NegaRenGenX2gay2lift

2 жыл бұрын

SUP KANE

Dooky Shoes was like na’mean.

@firstnamelastname1368

3 жыл бұрын

Bruhhhh... Hey everybody, this is it. The top comment.

@HalinazDziecmi

3 жыл бұрын

THATS CRICKET RIGHT THERE

@wazkangz955

3 жыл бұрын

@@HalinazDziecmi IVE BEEN KNOWIN CRICKET 27 YEARS

@willmach

3 жыл бұрын

I got photo of you hanging out with Dookie Shoes!!

@HalinazDziecmi

3 жыл бұрын

@@willmach I mean I've seen him

I wish he would do another special, he’s top 10 comedian right now.

@HesterEditing

3 жыл бұрын

He's starting a tour real soon, so after the tour he will most likely film a new special

@shaunradomski8625

3 жыл бұрын

Top #1

@MontyFranklyn

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah. Chappelle, Bill Burr, Segura. My top 3

@patrickmcpartland1398

3 жыл бұрын

It's literally been a year since his last one, how quickly do you expect him to push out specials as well has his like 19 pob casts and always touring?

@djaeb2001

3 жыл бұрын

@@patrickmcpartland1398 shit, forgot about the last one

Bro i know exactly what park. It gotta be Rittenhouse. There's bushes and people yelling at each other across the park. This is a true story i seen it like 4 times lol

@DragonTigerBoss

2 жыл бұрын

Rittenhouse is a straight up homeless commune after dark.

@kevinperez1518

2 жыл бұрын

@Tod it’s probably not entirely made up, just super exaggerated m. That’s how comedians get their jokes, unless they’re a Jimmy Carr type where he just writes short jokes, and even then he has stories that are based on real life but completely exaggerated.

@SquareNoggin

2 жыл бұрын

@Tod Eh, more fun to just choose to believe stand up comedian's stories.

@libertusprimus

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like Rittenhouse could use a Kyle or two

@markcoleman7246

2 жыл бұрын

@@kevinperez1518 Except this is the US, not the UK. The craziest shit that happens over there is like a Monday to us here in the States. Don't even get me started on Florida by itself.

Lmao “you about to get mur- dered” - bruh he got me crying

A white folding chair brought me here 🤷🏻‍♂️😂😂😂

The Montgomery riverboat fight proved this

"our him" I'm gonna pass out

Delivery as smooth as his lay up.

Living in Philly, sounds like any day of the week

@isaacmarley2439

3 жыл бұрын

It's always sunny

"Beautiful day in Philly, beautiful day in the park" that's the biggest cap I've ever heard

This is one of my favorite jokes, the story delivery is pitch perfect

Hence the battle of Montgomery 😂😂

toms delivery is one of the best

@nickcoulton658

3 жыл бұрын

Not in basketball

@isaacmarley2439

3 жыл бұрын

Whats 🧺 ball ?

god damn this man is funny lol. perfect example of someone making jokes about sensitive topics and absolutely nailing it because he knows what he's doing

Anyone come back here after the whole boat fight in Montgomery Alabama?

I thought about this joke when I first saw the “Alabama Brawl“ . I was like, this is like Tom’s joke.

Tom you’ve got one of the most hilarious delivery techniques. Love the ymh universe too

@adamd.6698

3 жыл бұрын

You bet I’m coming up in May

@Dylangp

3 жыл бұрын

@@adamd.6698 Don't be stingy Adam , you'll get a lease and a key . Try it out man .

@Dylangp

3 жыл бұрын

Glad you're following proto buddy.

@donaldtoonsberry832

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks Mike

@joshuabalsavage4695

3 жыл бұрын

Let me eat ya. One time.

As a middle easterner, the interracial loyalty is so true.

@joedirt2862

2 жыл бұрын

Intraracial

@unwnme

2 жыл бұрын

It's mostly about non-white people ganging up on white people. Which is racial hate and an absolute disgrace.

“I’m out…” gets me every time

His bit on white guy loyalty reminds me of Bill Burr’s bit from years ago who I might add was done in Philly.

@happybirthday146

3 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/qWyWmpOOfZqaf9o.html

@frankymacf

3 жыл бұрын

Bill did it way better. Tom comes across as virtue signalling and even a little bit sadistic.

@frankymacf

2 жыл бұрын

@Kaladins So he’s not just a little bit sadistic like I assumed, it’s ‘his thing’? Thanks for clarifying, I’ll give him a miss for now. And he’s virtue signalling, get over it.

@frankymacf

2 жыл бұрын

@Kaladins Normally you’d be absolutely right. But Tom and his audience seem to consider it virtuous to hate white people so it’s not contradictory at all. Anyway, we can agree to disagree, the beauty of art.

@VonJay

2 жыл бұрын

@@frankymacf lmao. He thoroughly explained that he doesn't believe in group think, and dissociates himself from those that group think and carry torches, yet you say he hates white people. Lmmfao. The "world" is fucking crazy. Or the world's emotional intelligence is so low that they don't know how to interrogate how they're feeling effectively enough to make logical sense of what they mean. Wow thanks for that comment.

Tom Segura is a freaking legend. The dude's delivery is the consistency on a level that you can only dream your Door Dasher or UPS would be... But what I find entirely more incredible, are the people who comment on his comedy. They too are almost as funny as he is. Imagine that. Just some randos. Seriously. Compare Segura commenters, vs other comedians. It's a rip dude! I snort all the time. You guys crack me up.

@Psychguy00

2 жыл бұрын

Ok dude you're too much into this. Life goes on focus on you! 😀

@angster4267

Жыл бұрын

@@Psychguy00 he wuvs him

“And then they killed that white guy” dawg that shit just had me crying 😂😂

Anyone come back to rewatch this after the Montgomery River boat brawl? 🤣🤣🤣

I reckon many Alabama Riverboat viewers are going to be sending this bit around

Actually had a guy look directly at me while he was getting his ass kicked.."aren't you gonna help me?" "nope!"

The Algorythm decided these clips are the only thing that will be played for me on auto play until the end of time recently

@sikosis999

2 жыл бұрын

you must be getting indoctrinated . . . ."this is how you cuck" by tom segura >

"Let me tell you something, you're about to get MUR-DERD" 😂😂

rewatching this joke in celebration of the August 5th incident in Alabama

@timothyencinas3353

10 ай бұрын

This clip is going to get a flood of views from that boat fight. I love it. Black people are the best.

@quietdude0001

9 ай бұрын

Great video to show to other races to intrepret and understand.

@foxfireman188-ls1kv

9 ай бұрын

"Tom, there's no other way I can say it. I love watching black people have fun."

Y'all know I watched this again after chairgate. I have never seen a black man swim to a fight but I say they put it in the triathlon let's go!

"Idk if he lived n the bushes"😅dyin

Segura has the best black dude voice

@gour348

2 жыл бұрын

*BIKES*

@solidsnake3861

2 жыл бұрын

@@gour348 hold my pocket

After the Alabama brawl this is even funnier. Fuck around and find out 😂😂😂😂

Segura always has the strangest encounters lol

The only lie is a "Beautiful Day in Philly"! You are the KING Tom!!!

"the people's mayor". funny AF.

"Get him!" Should not be the best part of this. But it is. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

@Frisky2timesCosplay

2 жыл бұрын

It was the "no HIM HIM" for me lmfao

Funniest guy to come out of that whole Rogan L.A. crew.

@tatumsh9

3 жыл бұрын

Very true

@sladehildebrand7518

3 жыл бұрын

Idk, bill burr is pretty hilarious too.

@tombruckman6954

3 жыл бұрын

what about bart

@Oakshield2

3 жыл бұрын

@@sladehildebrand7518 Bill Burr was already a established comic before moving to LA. He's a NY comedy cellar guy, came up with some of the greatest comics alive.

@russt9478

3 жыл бұрын

Callen, Von, Sebastian, Bert. Ari, Henchclif, Diaz You gotta see them live baby, you will laugh.

This aged beautifully after what happened at the Montgomery Brawl

@Notoriouscj1

5 ай бұрын

😂😂😂

This was the clip that made Tom my favorite comedian ever. He took what I was thinking about "racial loaylty" and put it into words I could never have worded better, or as hilariously.

Rest in Peese FEDSMOKER, keep on fetherin' it brother

@Biggie_Cheese704

3 жыл бұрын

Pease*

@tenkkutn

3 жыл бұрын

@@Biggie_Cheese704 lol better tred lightly, brotha... Fedsmoke don't care about grammer. U gonna end up on the web.

@oscaruvalle7538

3 жыл бұрын

He passed gas?

@dusanaeagles9950

2 жыл бұрын

@@Biggie_Cheese704 peace 😁

@mad_elf

2 жыл бұрын

@@Biggie_Cheese704 you had time to google it and everything.

I can't believe its taken me so long to discover Tom, omg he is a great story teller comedian. He just has his delivery down to a T (much like John Mulaney in my opinion) where he could be saying the most mundane thing but it just comes out hilarious

@nickandrews2255

Жыл бұрын

Same

@nieceypiecey100

Жыл бұрын

“Discover”

@ICN8IVE

5 ай бұрын

It's mostly stories.

I would love for him to be at the Alabama boat fight.

@mztweety1374

9 ай бұрын

Child, the commentary would be absolute fire😂😂😂

@geekymetalhead5112

6 ай бұрын

​@@mztweety1374 Man's would be spitting like the M1 Flammenwerfer

I love this bit man! Always hilarious! Got me in the mood to rewatch the whole special.

@AiNEntertainment101

3 жыл бұрын

...same here! 😅

@CymonTempler

3 жыл бұрын

“Because you’re saying it Japanese” is the bit that makes me laugh. Mostly because my family and their partners are the same kinds of stupid as that check in guy is.

@red0ctane19

3 жыл бұрын

@@CymonTempler Hahaha! Yeah I feel that one too.

@BrettfordBolts

2 жыл бұрын

@@CymonTempler SEGUUUUURA

This and the dog killing bit are my two favorites lol

Definitely one of the top tier comedians of this era.

"OUR him" TOM PLSSSS

"you're like, 'fuck that guy'". 😂I said exactly that in a situation not to different.

The Richard Pryor reference was perfect.

@simonsen7621

3 жыл бұрын

Which one?

@duncdonut

2 жыл бұрын

@@simonsen7621 The job interview sketch on SNL with Chevy Chase.

@simonsen7621

2 жыл бұрын

@@duncdonut Thanks! :)

Love you Tom. You helped me through getting sick. Made me smile everyday!

When he simulated a black man hopping out of the bushes, I lost it 😂😂

Unlike Joe Rogan and Kevin Hart who have to Yell a punchline to the top of their lungs to make the audience think it’s funny. This a guy who does comedy.

@Santoryu90

2 жыл бұрын

Don’t know about that with Kevin Hart but Joe Rogan definitely ain’t funny

@itchyandveryscartchy30

2 жыл бұрын

@@Santoryu90 Kevin Hart doesn’t allow himself to be funny anymore because he’d rather keep his job than getting canceled so he just doesn’t have any funny material after filtering it. But that I can understand from a business perspective. But Joe Rogan when he talks about comedy Or try impressions on the JRE and really introduce himself as a comedian I just can’t understand does he really believe that? Is he funny?

@Santoryu90

2 жыл бұрын

I agree that Kevin Hart would probably want to avoid getting “canceled” hell the thing he got flak for initially was pretty stupid because cancel culture is stupid, I still say he’s still good. Joe on the other the hand idk I don’t think he was or ever really funny comedian or not.

@itchyandveryscartchy30

2 жыл бұрын

@@Santoryu90 - the problem with Rogan is that he is convinced that he is a comedian. And he actually have a career in it which is really astonishing how much he is living this fantasy like he truly thinks that he is funny. But he is really not and I laugh at dumb shit all the time but he is just not funny at all so the fact that he became rich from doing comedy makes me think what an interesting world we live in.

@zacharystecher3266

2 жыл бұрын

@@Santoryu90 dude just yells at the mic

Great stuff Tom Tom! He may not be invited to the (temporarily closed) cookout but he sure nuff can get a plate at work! 😂🤣😂

Technically it's Intra-racial loyalty. Interracial loyalty would be between separate races. thanks porn!

@67bajaconv

2 жыл бұрын

And they say we learn nothing good from porn.

@user-lj2fw5lo8y

2 жыл бұрын

i think he said inner

@robK1320

2 жыл бұрын

pretty sure he says "inner", not "inter"

@GiDD504

2 жыл бұрын

@@robK1320 according the subtitles its interracial so...

@dlizzy3835

2 жыл бұрын

@@GiDD504 the subtitles also said “he calls him a ‘nerd’…” 😂

Tom is just the king of delivery not one bad shot he's got the best flow

This clip - this one....is my absolute favorite.

one of the best joke writers out there. perfect execution.

This aged well

His clever little metaphors are hilarious

This shit makes me cry laughing every time

BIKES!!!!???!!!

Tom Segura a true legend I like his comedy just awesome 😂

The recent ferry boat fight proved this. Guys popping up from portals and behind even Black Manta rose out of the sea to join in

I was like No…him him…our him 😂😂😂😂 I still cant breath 😂😂😂

Last lines fully resonate with me.... Karma is karma... Dont involve me with what you brought upon yourself

I really wanna go see his standup

"He calls him a nihmnghmnghhh" 🤣

"Get 'im!" Hahahaha

This bit vs bikes! Is hard to choose for #1 segura bit Keep em high and tight

Way to pander to 2021 Tom, that a baby.

"Get'em!" 🤣

“Our him” 😂

The people who disliked this video are the same people Tom will be uploading pictures of.

@longshlongg6866

2 жыл бұрын

LOL 😂

Anyone here after the Alabama boat fights?

This is still my favourite bit of toms

Love this guy

As someone who lives in Pennsylvania and lives close to Philadelphia, I can confirm this happens

I’ve heard this bit at least half a dozen times. Still had me snort-laughing 😂

I literally hollered laughing! 😆 😂 😂

I freaking love you Tom 😆

As they hold torches. I actually giggled

He's my favorite comedian.

« You’re about to get murdurrrd »🤣 im crying.

Such a good bit.

I read the thumbnail as "I saw a Facial fight" and I was thoroughly intrigued, thinking that 2 people just started getting really animated with their facial expressions. I wasn't disappointed with what I got, instead, but I was a little...I really wanted to hear about that facial fight

@big_duecebungalow5138

Жыл бұрын

Yours and my browser history must be way different because if I would of saw “facial fight”, expressions is not the first thing that would of came to mind

New to Tom Segura. Guy is hilarious, especially his bball skills.

Love it!!

"Our Him"🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Holy shit I just watched this last night lmao

@clay_freespirit

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Todd.

@shampthedog

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks, Todd.

@toddjefferson8761

2 жыл бұрын

@@shampthedog aw come on guys I just wanted to be part of something 🥺😓

I am dying from this one. I love you. You always say shit other people want to, but don’t. You definitely blur the social norm lines…but in the best way. 🤣🤪 maybe it’s because I’m from England, and find ur humor absolutely brilliant! Or…maybe it’s because I’ve got a sick sense of humor 🤷🏻‍♀️

Absolutely hilarious! 😆

Love Tom He is always funny