Free PDF of the 5 Essential Communication Skills for Professionals: www.alexanderlyon.com/free-resources

The long winded people I get stuck with don't give me the oppertunity to talk. If I do get a word in edgewise, they don't listen and only think about what they will say next. I give clues that I want to break off the conversation (monologue really) but they don't want to listen. I end up feeling rude by walking away and then avoid them in the future.

When this happens I usually lose all interest in what they're saying with no desire to say anything myself. I become bored and tired. I find if the person cared about your involvement they wouldn't do this in the first place.

@barrydemay3348

11 күн бұрын

I think this video speaker is a long-winded one that he didn’t even notice.

That sing songey voice demo was pure sass. I could feel it through the screen. Would hate to be on the receiving end of that

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Hi, Beef W. The truth is, it sickened me to listen to myself say it that way when I was editing. I wish I could record people sounding like that and play it back for them. I believe it would cure most sing-songy speakers in about 3 seconds. Ha!

My long winded person doesn’t make eye contact and constantly paces while talking. I haven’t been able to use the non verbal tips successfully. I’ll try to use some of these. Thanks

#4 is awesome. I know a few of those monologue types of people. Great tips!

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Hey, Carl. Thanks for jumping into the conversation, brother.

“Please pardon my interruption. Let me see if I understand your point of view and then I’d like to give you my view.” This is gold. I’ve copied it down and I’m going to memorize it!! I’ve struggled so much interrupting long winded people and it really causes me to fall behind at work because I get trapped in a convo I can’t get out of. I don’t even know how I stumbled across this video but I think KZread must have heard me discussing it with my husband and brought your video to the top of my list this morning. Thank you! Didn’t even know there was such thing as communication coaching but it’s definitely something I will look into.

@alexanderlyon

9 ай бұрын

I'm so glad this was helpful.

“Please stop talking “ was said to me years ago. My sister in law was sitting next to me on a plane trip, who voiced it to me. I’m still not over it (w my self esteem.)

@darrellborland119

Жыл бұрын

@P...thanks...sounds is if you needed her "ok-ness" to get back to your comfort zone...I can relate. Jordan Peterson is excellent to listen to...a great antidote to our past "nonsense". Have a good day.

These videos are incredibly helpful. Thank you for making these.

I love your sing-song-ee voice…I googled your channel for just this specific problem in preparation for an upcoming meeting. Thank you so much for the tips.

Thankyou for all your hard work and wonderful videos 💜

Alex -thanks for great tips. Do you have any tips on how to stop a person from talking about themselves all the time in a social setting? It leaves no time left for others! I would be grateful to hear your views on this as it's not requiring a point of view but merely all about them.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Nope. I don’t make videos like that. You could give them feedback about it but there is a low likelihood that you will be able to change the other person. When a person won't stop talking about themselves, that usually means there's a personality issue driving that behavior. It's almost impossible to change another person's behavior like that. Instead, I recommend you focus 100% on improving your own communication.

I really love these videos. I do have a gentle suggestion on this one. I wouldn't necessarily say these are tips for dealing with 'long-winded' people. That's a bit of a judgment. I'd say these are tips for when one person is no longer listening or following. That can mean the other person is 'monopolizing' the conversation, though it could also mean that the other person is either not able to or not interested in hearing more.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

As long as the tips are helpful, that's what matters. I will say, however, that long-windedness is probably the #1 complaint I hear about people who have trouble communicating effectively in professional settings. It usually goes hand-in-hand with poor listening skills. These issues are two sides of the same coin.

It's as simple as breathing.. Just say these key words.. Forgive me for interrupting, I'm running short on time, would you mind giving me a quick summary of your thoughts on the subject?

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Those are good samples. Thank you for adding to the discussion. As simple as it sounds, it is really difficult for people to get the courage to follow through and do it.

God bless you too!!! Thanks for the lesson 👍🏻😁❤️

"Focus on managing yourself" great advice Alexander

This sounds helpful also for "conversation hijackers" who routinely interrupts the flow of a question or comment thread by others, by completely overriding what one person said/asked with their own comment or question without allowing the ongoing conversation flow. It's different from overlapping or excitement. I'm looking forward to trying the "wait a moment please, I'd like to hear my sisters answer first" strategy

Good stuff!

Thank you for this great content!

@alexanderlyon

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching!

I just recently discovered this site...Excellent presentations, and information we can use to communicate more completely. Thanks, Alex.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

My pleasure, Darrell. Thank you for the encouragement.

Oooh! Good samples! Thank you.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Thanks. People love realistic samples/examples and real-time practice. I've been adding those elements lately.

True. I'm the long winded one and just waiting for the other person to interrupt and share their point of view because that is how a talker connects with a talker. Talkers can talk for 1 hour each before exchanging. Recognizing that verbal capacity does not equate with self involvement is important.

Quality stuff. Congratulations on your current and future success. You deserve it.

@alexanderlyon

11 ай бұрын

Thank you!

good! useful!!

I Learned so much from your videos. My professor said to me that I have improved my body language. Thank you ☺️

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

That's great to hear, Zainab. Thanks for sharing.

This is gold

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Hey, Alex. Thank you!

Very insightful, thank you.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Glad it was helpful!

Before watching this video I was very skeptical for some reason. Now I'm a little embarrassed. The video turned out to be gold. Thank you. It's really good!

@alexanderlyon

6 ай бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it.

Hi Sir Thank you so much to making a very fruitful video, I really enjoy to having this video of yours here in KZread but I want to pay my request to make a video on "Communication on phone" if you are able to make a video on this topic, it be will highly appreciated. Thanks again.

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Hi, Wasim. I don't make phone videos. That's not an area I will be moving into. Sorry about that. Most tips I give can be adapted for the phone but it's not an area I study or teach.

@wasimakram9542

Жыл бұрын

​@@alexanderlyon Ok Sir got it. Thank you so much for responding.

Great tips! Off topic: I love listening to Paul Rudd's brother's videos 😅

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

I'll tell Paul you said hello! Ha.

When in the presence of a long winded speaker, I just disengage and tune them out. I've found I can multi-task and get stuff done, and they don't even notice. Ultimately, long-winded people aren't interested in listening to anyone. They just want to ramble on and on and only need to do it in front of someone. An occasional grunt is all they require to see if you're listening. I suffer from insomnia at times, I let them talk at a time I need to fall 😴. They work better than melatonin 🙃.

@UserLameUnavail2

Жыл бұрын

Some of us are wired for detail and bottom-up thinking, and we don't pick up on social cues. You might be surprised how much we actually care about others, and how embarrassed and ashamed we feel when people come out and tell us that we're coming across the way you describe.

@xTenshiAi

8 ай бұрын

@@UserLameUnavail2 Do you have autism? I heard this is common with people who have some form of this

At work, there is someone who constantly jumps in whenever I or someone else just pauses for a few seconds. By the time she’s finished her interruption, I might have forgotten the point I was trying to make or someone else seizes that opportunity to steer the conversation with their own thoughts. My point may seem to become irrelevant (even though it is not). She is often wrong or misinformed but has to interrupt others- it is quite frustrating. I’ve tried the tips you’ve suggested but she carries on talking. I find it so disrespectful. Sometimes I’ve written my points on the chat even though we might be meeting face to face. Any suggestions on how to stop her?

Wonderful! Any advice how to be less long winded., more concise? How to say the same things with fewer words and sentences... Thank you!

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Hi, Susan. I have a handful of videos on that. If you search for my name and "concise," you'll see videos come up in the search results.

@susanv1125

Жыл бұрын

@@alexanderlyon Thanks so much Alex - God bless

Surprised this video doesn’t have more views!

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Thanks, Vivien. It just came out a couple of weeks ago. I'm sure I'll gain views over time.

Have you seen the swearing in of Katy Hobbs for gov of AZ? She couldn’t stand still, kept giggling, and couldn’t repeat the oath to uphold the constitution. Would like to see your evaluation.

How about when they're talking and even when you try to politely interject they keep talking and talk louder to continue and finish but it seems to never end LOL.. I have a client like this so most of the time I just let her talk talk but there are times when I would like to interject what she's talking about before she moves on to the next thing. Just wondering if you have some tips for that type of personality...and she is very A type personality likes to be the command post LOL...

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

If I were you, I would practice using the tips in this video. If you watch this one, practice aloud, and watch the one with Vanessa Van Edwards I did with the nonverbal cues, then that's all that should be needed. The key is not just knowing them but using them in practice consistently and assertively. I really believe these collective tips will work. I've met people like the client you describe and these are the tips I used and they are effective. Granted, it won't be smooth and you'll likely have to keep fighting for your talking turn. These tips won't change them into a polite conversationalist, but they will help you get your talking turn.

Long winded monolog story tellers HATE being interrupted in my experience.

I am stuck with a stakeholder who just refuses to take a cue and goes on and on and on, thus eating up the whole of the meeting time. Am absolutely at my wits end and don't know how to engage in a meaningful dialog with him. I suspect he does that wilfully so that no one else gets any airtime in the call and he can project himself as some sort of an expert 😂

Just recently came across your channel, and I love your content! Instantly subscribed. Do you take analysis suggestions? I'd love more than anything for you to do an analysis on some of the Taylor Swift interviews over the years where she has had to dodge super sexist/misogynistic comments. Anyway, hope you're having a great new year! Seth

If the overlapping talk is giving off a negative disrespectful vibe increasingly so, there is a problem. Pathological narcissists patronizing their coworkers with overlapping - unwarranted "advocation" of personal details on top of the one being asked and already answering for themselves.

Honestly, I might be dealing with someone who may have a mental shortcoming, because the person who drove me to seek this video is long-winded even with someone who they did not initially intend to communicate with.

Hello Mr Lyons. Off topic I was wondering if you can produce a video about Andrew Tate? He seems to disrupt "the system" but his communication delivery seems powerfull enough he's able to penetrate his message to a wide audience gaining some obedience from both sexes. Your thoughts sir- And Happy New Year!

@alexanderlyon

Жыл бұрын

Interesting suggestion. If he hadn't got into trouble recently, I might have done that. I doubt I will do it now.

I usually would just let out a big sigh, and let them know "I'll just wait for the DVD to come out." Or stare at their forehead while brushing mine off, until they start to brush an unseen speck of dirt off their own head. Yeah, I probably need therapy. If my husband does it, I usually just keep saying "yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah" using Rainman's voice, until he notices, then we both laugh, and he stops.

I have an alcoholic friend who came to see me almost every day and je kept talking for many hours. I was really pissed of and irritated by him but i have no skill to interrupt him. I wanted to help him but it was useless. In the end he die alone, maggot already eating his nose.

Dialogue is the intersection of two monologues: Dorothy Parker or Gertrude Stein.

Dont interrupt a long winded person. Grin and bare it. Its ok for people to talk. Its ok for people to listen. Its one of the few cathartic things left in this world.

@thehypercasual385

4 ай бұрын

no, some people monologue without having any understanding that they are boring the bejeezus out of their listener. especially if it's a story we've already heard before.

@Who_Would_Be_A_Fucking_Cop

4 ай бұрын

@@thehypercasual385 being bored is not an affront. If anything it's a failure. Life isn't boring, even in a sterile room. And even if you've heard the story before, what does it cost to be kind enough to let someone feel like they're saying something for the first time. I mean, good luck being around anyone over 60.

The neutral tone and the no attitude 😅 need to work on that

Why do so many people talk non-stop?

Most effective method: Hold your hand up, palm inches from their face, and say, "Is there a point to all this? Shuts them up every time.

I INTERUP A LONG WINDED PERSON BY SAYING IS THIS GOING TO TAKE LONG BECAUSE I GOT TO GO POOP.

I spoke to this pig recently and overlapping happened bcos he took long pauses on the phone call ans then had a bf when id speak. I felt he was just over sensitive and got on my nerves

This video is has a long winded explanation about long winded

How many slaps have you had in your career? have you lost the count hey

I just went to another channel 🤣

what bs nobody at the bar speaks like this

My ex was / is SMI and they would ramble forever….