I think women’s desire for clarity comes from the desire for safety. Women want to feel secure in a relationship, and being vague about your intentions will break that security

@Alicia-vq8jg

Ай бұрын

I had a literal pimp warlock in Mexico tell me that he only had good intentions for me 😭

@dude9318

Ай бұрын

​@@Alicia-vq8jgthats pretty scary May God protect you

I've met an amazing Christian girl online and we are going on our 3rd date this weekend. I like her a lot and I'm going to let her know my intentions. 🙏❤

@DanielTheAmbassador

Ай бұрын

Praying man!

@evanelliott9880

Ай бұрын

Same here bro, I’ll pray for you and would appreciate prayer as well!

@Inabundanse

Ай бұрын

Aww that's so cute

@dobermankd

Ай бұрын

Online? Where?😂

@daltonnelson94

Ай бұрын

@@dobermankd Hinge. The app allows you to set preferences to Christians only

You're completely right woman want clarity and honesty not games.

@IAmMrRoss

Ай бұрын

Men want the same. No one wants to be lied to.

@mariposavioleta9007

Ай бұрын

@@IAmMrRoss agreed just mentioned woman as that's who he was talking about in the video. I should say mature men and women to be more clear

@Justyouraverageguy172

Ай бұрын

But what happens if being honest with the truth is too much for my partner to handle despite the desire to tell her the truth. I am in the problem of I want to be truthful but everytime I was it was too much for her and she left me everytime because it’s a lot to swallow and not be judged on.

@joshlete

Ай бұрын

@@Justyouraverageguy172 1. Give it up to God, and trust Him to keep your relationship together. 2. They will find out eventually, and it hurts even worse when they find out by themselves. It is super hard for the both of you, no one wants to be hurt. But being with a partner with hidden things is a millions times harder down the road. I get it, I know how it feels. I am the worst guy to tell the truth, but God has been teaching me. Trust in Him alone, not your own capabilities to keep her. If she can't be with you because of your hidden stuff, then you have to let her go if you truly love her.

@samuelieremie8443

Ай бұрын

@@Justyouraverageguy172 then move on, she is not for you if she can't handle honesty and clarity in a relationship

You’re all of what? 23? Let gramps straighten ya out son. This is great. Seriously. Wisdom beyond your years. Most of all, you’re instructing young men to RESPECT women by assuming they’re adults and can handle straight talk. Props, sir.

@benispoob

Ай бұрын

Had us in the first half, not gonna lie.

@jamesearl389

Ай бұрын

@@benispoob 😂😂👊🏻

@anthonynosike

Ай бұрын

How do you know hes 23?

@seirbhiseach

27 күн бұрын

@@anthonynosike he's lowballing for the joke, guy looks like the 26-28 range

@anthonynosike

27 күн бұрын

@@seirbhiseach yeah idk

For the ladies watching, clarity is also key in protecting a guys heart when rejecting a guys pursuit. I have made the mistake of not being clear enough and the guy continued trying to try and pursue me

@Justyouraverageguy172

Ай бұрын

100% most women think “hints or indirect games” are clear communication when they are not for us men who appreciate it up front a clear no instead of having nothing solid to go off of. I learned women who play games like this all the time instead of being direct and honest with me would be the same way in marriage this being not worth it and expect me to to read her mind and expectations when it’s impossible.

@onepitso1870

Ай бұрын

Real🤝

@Alicia-vq8jg

Ай бұрын

Oh no 💔😭

@dude9318

Ай бұрын

Yeah as a guy i agree Please be clear whether you see us as a friend or as a potential romantic partner Hints don't work Just tell us That would have helped me in the past a lot if the girl i liked did that.

It honestly feels so rare to have real Christian dating advice. I feel like most preachers end the dating conversation on "If you have sex, that's bad" and then stop there. I know te Bible doesn't have much to say on modern western dating but I know it doesn't have nothing to say either. Thank you for this video.

@Infrazale

Ай бұрын

The Bible doesn't tak about dating because it is a new practice in human existence. Most marriages were arranged or people just got together and prayed for the best.

The one mistake here is...after you tell her, you have to have her tell you what her interest is. This is a big mistake men make, because they assume when she says nothing it means she is fine with it or even agrees with you. You cannot assume anything. Actions show the truth, but words are absolutely necessary for clarity. Make sure it goes both ways. If she needs some time, let her take a little time to think it over. However, you can't move forward until both of you know where she stands. If she doesn't tell you, this is a big red flag that is telling you, take a few steps back. If she still doesn't give you a clear, certain answer. You need to let her go. She may just not be ready for a relationship. Whatever you do, don't push for an answer. If you push, she may say what you want to hear, not what she wants. That is why you take a step back. Show her you are willing to wait (if you are), and also that you are not abandoning the relationship. Basically, you have to be solid about your own intentions and limits. With that, you should be able to weather whatever delay or uncertainty she may have. If you react to her reaction, you are not a source of stability, and she will sense this.

I'm really grateful that you mentioned how men need to have more self control since women are the weaker vessels. I don't take weaker as less valuable or capable, but our bodies are not built for the same level of stress or exertion, and our hormones fluctuate all the time. Thanks to both feminism and medical oversight for women, most of us women don't even know what that means or how we can apply that information appropriately. I've seen too many Christian guys put the weight on women for self-control, and we should definitely be doing our best, but our hormones fluctuate too much for us to hold that level of responsibility alone. Guys have a relatively steady sex drive, even if higher, while women can have a drive 10x higher than at other times of the month during a specific time in her cycle. That's a huge change which is incredibly hard to fight if the man isn't helping to fight it, too. Most people just put the pressure on women because we are the ones who carry the babies. Note to guys: If a woman communicates a clear physical boundary, but loosens it later, it's her hormones speaking. That's not her. She will respect you more and feel less shame when you respect and hold to what she previously communicated, even if it's hard for her in the moment.

@CSAcrazy

Ай бұрын

The lack of accountability is wild lol

@justgaming124

Ай бұрын

I agree as a guy with this, just adding balance, boundaries and honesty from both sides will make it work a lot better

@dude9318

Ай бұрын

Agreed Both sides should practice self control

@EmDoesArt

26 күн бұрын

Couldn’t agree more. Idk what first comment is saying, because I feel like your clear about how both sides need to be held accountable.

@CSAcrazy

26 күн бұрын

@@EmDoesArt “if a woman has boundaries and then loosens them later that’s not her, that’s her hormones” so women get a get out of jail card because “hormones”? that same logic can be used for men “ if a man gets overcome by anger and attacks you, that’s not him, that’s his hormones” but of course no one in their right mind would say that because we accept accountability

Hey I am not a Christian, but these values about masculinity is what i need to embrace rn Thank u❤

My wife and I are coming up on our 30 year wedding anniversary next week. When you first started mentioning dating, I almost stopped the video thinking “nah I’m long past that point.” But I continued watching anyway. I wish I had this advice back in the early 90’s though! But I have 2 sons. My older son has been dating his girlfriend for 4 years and hope to get engaged at some point soon. My other son met a girl in the college group at church a week ago and noticed their values seem to align really well. I will definitely be sharing this video with them. Great video! Thanks

Great advice Isaac! The use of the word "stages" fits really well to describe different levels of relationship. When things are clearly defined and well ordered, it puts everyone involved at ease.

Really appreciated hearing this. I'm going through a breakup from a relationship where I too frequently failed in this area. I needed this both for finishing things up with her and for my future wife. Thanks, Isaac.

Honesty is the best policy! Make your intentions known, that she may have no doubt where she stands with you. Be honest,be direct,follow up on your word.

This is a level of maturity that most people don’t have

I've experienced this from the opposite direction more often than not. I'll make my intentions clear, but I'll have to get the answers from others around her because she's too afraid of hurting my feelings. It's experiences like that that have taught me to be more honest with girls who've expressed interest in me because I know how frustrating and hurtful it can feel.

Yes, CLARITY. Every time I’ve had my heart broken it was bc of lack of clarity.

that is so incredibly helpful and healing to hear! keep it up!

Dealing with a new possible relationship and I’m really excited about it, but I’ve already had conversations with her to get on the same page and also communicated some boundaries we want to have if we’re trying to take things slow and be friends for now. Thanks for this video. It always seems like your videos come at the perfect times.

Well put as usual Isaac!

PSA: When giving your intentions, don’t say “If this doesn’t work out I’ll probably become a monk because you’re the only one for me.” Successfully guilted me into staying with him for 3 months when I didn’t want to.

@tichafarahobyane792

Ай бұрын

Thank you, may Yah heal you.

@dude9318

Ай бұрын

Of course not Also thats pretty bad May God bless you and him as well

From the title: you were correct. I love this advice. Im a twice divorced dad, so its probably my purpose to deliver messages to my kids.

I have always been honest with women. Always made my intentions clear, held my standards, tried to be a gentleman, never pushed them further than they (supposedly) wanted, and always tried to act chivalrous. It got me ridiculed, lambasted, lied to, lead on, taken advantage of, and cheated on. I've never been a sexual person and was always slow to push any boundaries, and women absolutely despised that. However they would never be forthcoming with me about it, and instead they would simply lie to me and continue leading me on and using me for all my gifts. I have, in my entire life, met a single woman I was involved with who was decent and good; she was, however, not happy with me, as we were incompatible. I let her go because I knew she would be miserable. I dont speak to her anymore, but hope she is doing well because she was a good person when I knew her. Matthew 19:12: "For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb; and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by people; and there are also eunuchs who made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who is able to accept this, let him accept it." And pretty much the entirety of 1 Corinthians 7, speaking of how it is generally better off to be unburdened by marriage and a woman. The Lord clearly wanted me to do other things than be with a woman, despite my desire for a family I''d have since I was a teenager; if it were incorrect, He would never have let me come to this conclusion and sit on it so easily. Obviously I can still technically go out and do this, and maybe get somewhere with it, but I dont need much nudging or many failed attempts to learn and live by my experiences, and the Almighty God clearly knew that. He wants me for something else. I Thank Him now, for I am free and unburdened to do much more important things in The Lord's Grand Plan.

Thanks Isaac I loved this this was encouraging!

Last time I checked, having clarity with a woman and being honest with a woman is in fact a HUGE turn on for the girls. I can actually think of an example from a movie I once watched called Take Me Home Tonight. Topher Grace plays a character who works at the video rental store, and he's head over heels for the popular girl at school. At the beginning of the movie, she walks in and asked him if he worked there. He lied to her to save himself from embaressment, and that lie came extremely close to having her turn completely away from him. (fair warning, the movie is very much for adults, even though it takes place in Shermer, Illinois)

@Garthorium

Ай бұрын

Lying should be a turn off for just about everyone. Where in the world of a liar does one truly sit? You can never know, and that level of ambiguity should be a strong deterrent.

I’ve had variations of this conversation with my girlfriend. Define the relationship clearly and don’t let pains fester. Don’t avoid a conversation because it will be uncomfortable. Better to be uncomfortable for a short time than waste months or years of your life, or on the other end, cross the one clearly biblically defined boundary because you didn’t set appropriate boundaries for yourselves. Thinking in the future when you are married (God willing), your life will be comprised of every small thing you do or don’t do for one another. Speak early and clearly, lest you be tormented every day till you die due solely to your own silence. That will breed resentment and is easily avoided.

You have no idea how bad I needed this. God showed me all this the hard way so thank you for making this video cause I know how to learn from my mistakes

Yep. After being essentially led on in a prior relationship, on date #2 with my now-wife, I ripped off the regarding my end goal of a ‘traditional’ marriage with kids. Why play games with emotions and expectations? Just be on the same page from the get-go and take away some of the guesswork and confusion.

Sharing this with my son who is now months away from going off to college.

ive actually never heard the phrase "protect her heart"

@jitheshdsouza98

Ай бұрын

Now you have. Progress.

@richardharperii5840

23 күн бұрын

Same

All the best bro, hope it works out

Great perspective

So true.. thank you!

Definitely not an expert when it comes to dating, I think that's a very good advice and I've held this view of romantic relationship since as long as I can remember. It was nice to see it reaffirmed it here, especially since I recently a different video where a Christian suggested exact opposite (because it worked for him) and a bunch of people eagerly defended that view in the replies. But being clear about your intentions just makes sense. Anything else is either disrespectful to yourself or to her.

Just watched the video and glad you and yours wife seemed to have a healthy transition from the early stages of friendship and dating to marriage. I agree that it’s definitely helpful to be clear about where you’re at and not lie. There’s wisdom also in waiting on the right timing. I feel like the attractiveness thing is where I struggle..because of instagram and culture guys getting so tripped up on being attracted to distractions and to the woman they think they want. I feel like i am in a Christian environment of unhealthy competition instead of an environment where it’s about building each other up. I’ve heard guys talk about this and seen it play out. I know it could just be the guys I’ve been hanging around but it is discouraging because I struggle with feeling like a candidate for a godly relationship. I have friends/know of people (women too) who are picky about things they shouldn’t be stressing over like whether a person is more laid back or serious of a personality….or the style of clothes a person wears. I think that’s why prayer is so important because it’s hard to know what is a pure attraction to a person and what is a lustful attraction for something or someone. Context : single woman praying one day a Christian man will be interested in me haha😂

What about protecting His heart in a bibical way?

@kleptosepto1848

Ай бұрын

God does that

@2mo2time

Ай бұрын

Well this is a multi answer First know men Then know him After that you will understand his weaknesses or things that temp him or in general men And do what needs to be done Ex modesty, in clothing, discretion, Honesty, clear communication of expectations, just as a few examples

@dahliaherrod4301

Ай бұрын

Are you talking about God's heart?

@user-kf8wb2cq4f

Ай бұрын

​@@dahliaherrod4301...I'm referring to christian men who are trying to do the right actions But are contending with christian women who are Closet Feminists.

@dude9318

Ай бұрын

​@@dahliaherrod4301they are talking about the men in relationships

Thanks Isaac Your very intelligent Good video God bless everyone here

Well… the biggest problem for me is that I WANT to be honest and truthful with others and a woman if I ever get far enough into a relationship one day. BUT the problem is that from the past consistently when I did tell the truth to others and my ex partners about my life circumstances without having any money, friends drifting away a lot, no family members (from toxic atheists who loved money and hated us for not being like them and mocking my mom and I for being Catholic), etc that they all bailed and wanted nothing to do with me afterwards. So I gave up trusting others and being honest with them but at the same time my heart craves such deep trust and intimacy that it’s so hard with the suffering from being lonely and having the desire for marriage unfulfilled at age 28.

@albertodove4125

Ай бұрын

Pentecostal here. I feel this. It's hard not to get angry in such situations. I feel like people aren't understanding what I do. Women I feel are very selfish In a way. I have an ex I sow to and desire her growth in the Lord. It also costs me potential dates because they see us hanging out and think stupid things

@ethanmiller5487

Ай бұрын

I'm in a similar situation as you. What I've found most disheartening is when I try to discuss my past and what to do about it, I'm never allowed to notice patterns in female behavior. The conversation is stopped by people doing the "who hurt you?" mindset to me. (A woman hurt me, a few of them. Which is what we were talking about ya dope! Why else would I have brought up?!?! But I digress). Its like people can't except that women are sinners too and everything that that notion entails. Is it so wrong to say people who do evil shouldn't, even if they are a woman? Idk what to do, it's really annoying!!

@albertodove4125

Ай бұрын

@@ethanmiller5487 I agree, some of the most wicked have been caused and are the women.

@Justyouraverageguy172

Ай бұрын

@@ethanmiller5487The lie of Feminism poisons the minds of people to believe that “woman is the ultimate good who can do no wrong and it’s men who are evil and disposable.” Such an insidious and idolatrous lie is certainly not form God nor the creation of man because feminism glorifies the fallen sinful female of women while destroying men and controlling them.

M-M-Mordecai? But on a serious note, I really appreciate this video, I love knowing that there’s other men who pay special attention to their girlfriends’/wives’ feelings

Good video! May I ask what mic your using? Sounds rlly nice

As women myself i want trust in man and feel not playing around and honesty is key to relationship and being there times are good or bad

Yeah… I have made this mistake with someone but yet they keep popping back into my life. So much grace from this girl, so I think for me after working on myself, I am ready to just let her know that I am ready to get to know her as a friend and see where things go. Least for the time being because she gets nervous when we do end up alone sometimes intentionally on her side. However, I am going to let her know that if I do become friends it does not mean just friends. I do want to do but not all girls know how to date as well. It just depends on how you get to know them. But I would like to see how we connect on that end. Not all girls know how to date.

Beautiful BEAUTIFUL video. Thank u

Thanks.

Non-exclusivity is the key here.

Solid👌

I cant relate but good message.

Women leave anytime you let them know your intentions

@roman_kofyno

Ай бұрын

Exactly, this man doesn´t know what he´s talking about, it´s only some book-smart...

Hey Isaac! What's the name of the song in the outro?

I agree. But I wish some of the women I dated would have felt the same way. I was forthright and honest about my intentions but it wasn’t appreciated. Instead I had women lead me on. With one, we had an off and on relationship over a period of three years. I was serious but eventually I came to realize I was just her “buddy”. She never had any serious intentions for me. And men’s hearts get broken too. I experienced that. I ended up marrying a Pakistani woman I met while living in her country who didn’t play games and the rest is history.

amen

This is probably why in the olden days men had to speak with the Dad first if they were serious about the lady. But now, with a pandemic of fatherlessness, yes, this is really great counsel, as there is no Dad around to square things off with...

@betrothalguys

14 сағат бұрын

Most women have a father. It's not that hard to find out who he is and technology makes an interview possible from anywhere on earth!

Amen

Amennnnn

it boggles my mind that people think less communication is somehow better. Different worldviews I s'pose. But if you disagree with the truth it doesn't make the truth wrong🤷‍♂️.

I have been waiting for a long time for the right girl in my life. I jasr don't sleays know where to look for her. Im struggling, but everyone says I must be patient

How bout how to protect MY heart. Been with several girls right now and it always ends up with me on my arse.💔

She might still go crazy even if you are clear, but if you plan to head a Christian household then you have to be clear within yourself first. And as always " honesty is the best policy." Not making a decision is a decision. And you can't just wait until she makes a decision. That's not leadership. Great point at the end that you may struggle and fail to put this into practice, but keep trying! You will get better.

I met and married my wife in 23 days it was the longest 23 days of my life!!! Met in Christian mingle but my intention was to marry to date not to date to marry. As the man I told her then she was the person I had been praying for and it would be God and us in our marriage for the rest of our lives; we have each other our word to give one another %100 effort to love God, one another, and our neighbors as ourselves. It’s been five amazing years of extreme trials and extreme rewards. It’s scary and awesome and it gives us a chance to truly live out our faith. God’s greatest rewards come from His greatest challenges. Marriage is challenging because it is rewarding but it is a good and great challenge of our faith and our word. As long as we hold fast and don’t be found a liar of what we have given our word to we will be directly rewarded by God and our spouse

Never had a boyfriend but I would be delighted if a guy pursued me with this intentionality

Unrelated but you kinda look like John from “The Chosen”.

@Inabundanse

Ай бұрын

He definitely looks like someone from the Chosen (in the best way!!)

It would've helped if I had someone to talk to...

Thank you so much. Ive just started talking to this new girl in my youth group and I really like her however im not ready to date her yet because i am still struglling with sexual sins and aslo i want to get to know her as a friend for a few more weeks before i possibly date her. Ive realized that i have already told her we might date without makijg my intentions of being freinds for longer known to her so thank you for this information. Also i am talking to God about it however i was wondering if any of my brothers or sisters in Christ can help me with these few questions. I can see myself getting closer to her and pursuing her however i would like us to hangout and get to know each other more before i potentially ask her out, this can be good for her and me. Is this okay? I of coruse will talk to her about this it would be nice to just know someone else knows and my friends and family are all asleep right now.

Isaac, Christian woman here who has been told by some single Christian guy friends that it's alright for women to make the first move and let the guy know first that we're interested. Do you think that's wise/biblical? Or perhaps any other guys from the audience can chime in?

@Zayindjejfj

26 күн бұрын

It's perfectly fine for a woman to let a man know they're interested. Ultimately, it's going to be on the man to purue... But a lot of people like to make it this hard rule that men should only ask and initiate... When that's not how real life works. I know men in Church who had their wives make a first move and they've been together forever. We also live in a time where men are worried and paranoid about asking women out, no matter how innocent and straight forward the man is being. A lot of well meaning guys want to pursue, but just won't because we don't have a society that actually sees men doing that as a good thing. It still EXPECTS us to... but is quick to make anything that goes wrong our fault. And women of God helping where they can is probably needed to encourage men to be men.

I wish every man had this mindful mindset.

@TheBanjoShowOfficial

Ай бұрын

I have it but it is something trained and very intentional. Like you need to seriously live this way and change your behavior to be that man. Not changing personality by any means, but recognizing your own psychological flaws and premonitions and fears. It requires being consciously aware of them and not allowing those emotions to guide your actions. That is the difference between man and woman. Woman is guided by what her heart tells her. A man is told many things by the heart but must filter them through the mind so he is not deceived. It’s extremely easy to let anxieties and doubts and worries get in the way of what could otherwise be a very good relationship.

@roman_kofyno

Ай бұрын

No, you don´t...

as a pansexual 15 year old who cross dresses, i support most of what this guy has to say, simplified but still well done. Im not the most religious person, nor athiest. Kinda just feeling like religion has pure morals. Yes i aprtake in sin, this could be just a phase but I have already commited in that sin, time does'nt allow re-dos unfortunately. My opinion on religion is that no innocent should die because of difference of religious values. I dont know what I am yapping about in this video, as I am typing this as I am watching the video. Me with my partner (not going ot specify gender for purposes I dont have to explain), I will never take he/her/it/them out to dinner, this video helps support me because I now have a little bit of confidence in that my relationship is going good.(unfortunately online) 11 months in and Im planning to meet my partner in the summer. I have found confidence in my opinion in how my relationship should operate. No honest, no bs, pure and nothing to hide. I have some things to hide but luckily those things have nothing to with my relationship. Thanks for giving me confidence in myself

@thickmint5875

Ай бұрын

please be careful meeting ppl from the internet, especially at your age

@alisonjudith5380

Ай бұрын

Hey, @Darkpheonix. You have a point - we do all fall short of the standards of morality. Your worldview is important: it impacts the way that you live, and ultimately, your eternity: The Bible shows us that God is holy, and that He is just. The ten commandments are a small part of what would need to be abided by to "meet" His righteous standards (Exodus 20:1-17) as a holy God. The problem is, is that we have all transgressed God's laws (which he rightfully puts in place as our creator & life-giver). If He is just, which we know by the Bible that He is, then He cannot be unjust by not delivering justice when His laws are transgressed. Everyone sins, and it is not something we can get away from by ourselves. The Bible says that our hearts, that is, our very beings, are deceitfully wicked and sinful in nature. Even if we manage to abide by the laws themselves, in our hearts, we struggle with anger, pride, lust etc., and we see that by God's standards, thinking is the same as doing (Matthew 5:28). If we are all sinful in our nature and have transgressed the law of God, then before a holy and just God, we will all be judged and punished for our sins. And this is important, I would implore you to examine this and truly think about it (and anyone else potentially reading this). God humbled Himself by taking the form of man and living the life we can't, one obedient to His holiness and never sinning. Beyond this, He took the wrath that we deserve upon Himself, taking our iniquity upon Himself, when He was crucified at Calvary (and in so doing, He paid our debt for us, the debt that a just judge put upon us for our sins). If we would confess our sinfulness and repent of our sins, laying ourselves aside and living for Jesus, having faith in His promises and recognizing that we are utter sinners, in need of God's grace to be saved, He is gracious and merciful, and will forgive our sins, because the price has been paid for those who would repent. If you have read this to the end, thank you. If you have any questions, I will try my best to answer them and provide resources that can offer you more clarity. But truly, this is important: without faith in Christ, nobody can stand before God. I would encourage you to read John 3:16-21.

@Darkpheonixpet-_-

Ай бұрын

@@alisonjudith5380 I will try and be true and not follow god, but other teachings that show moral standards for each higher being and there clarification on how to enter a higher state through morality of yourself. I try and be as empathetic as I can be, but along that comes seeking the truth, but one's view can alter this, I am on a quest for idenity and that is human nature, some things we can not explain even with science or readings of the bible. I am a journey that will last untill I die, eyt then the story is just beggining

@dariojuric1618

Ай бұрын

Jesus and only Jesus can cleanse you of your sin.

@enpafe

Ай бұрын

No innocent person is going to Hell. God doesn't send people to hell for just doing something bad. People go to hell for sin, which is the active separation from God. Sin is deeming something God calls wrong, good for ourselves. It is separation from God because He is good. Separation from God is what hell is. Which is why scripture says we sold ourselves into slavery. God is Good, and the Origin of life and love. So separation from Him is going to be bad. We chose to be away from God, this is Him respecting our wishes. But, He loves us. He will do all He can to see you change your mind about sin and receive forgiveness. Sin results in death because it is the separation from life. And if we die in sin, our choice to be separate is permanent. This is why Jesus died; He experienced hell in our place, died our deaths. Cuz we can't make it to heaven, not with sin on us like this. So God made a way, He doesn't want us to die. He wants us to turn to Him and live. No more separation, receive relationship with God. Accept that yes, I am a sinner. But God so loved me, that He gave His only Son. So that if I trust He who made me, to save me from death in sin, I will live. ❤

In general, good advice. Setting boundaries, having appropriate behavior for where the relationship is at. As for stating your intentions up front. It depends. You can cause her to run. My advice would be: keep it unspoken in the beginning. If its really happening after a few dates, grab ger and kiss her. She will be "taken" and you've "caught your fish". Then state your intentions (and they had better be real positive because you've just won her heart). You are a married guy giving advice to singles. you are not living it out. I also have the impression that you are a "hot guy" (though I'm not a woman so its hard to judge) so by doing these up-front things you would probably have not have chased her away. I also understand now why your advice on sexuality for singles is unrealistic. You're not living it out. You have a sex life. Do some research, man. Seriously. Study, study, study. First book: "Mars and Venus on a date" by John Gray. I have about 20 books on marriage counseling and dating. I was in youth ministry and ran singles groups. I AM a relationships expert. Bottom line is that, in dating, there is an unavoidable element of risk. As Christians, we want to get everything "to the book" but the laws of nature don't work that way. Women love romance and you don't want to kill that. Its the doorway you need to go through in order to end up with a wife and kids.

@normanclatcher

29 күн бұрын

"Romance is dead. Romance remains dead."

🤝❤️

This thumbnail is click bait. lol. Kidding aside, as a father of a daughter of dating age, I love this advice.

I really like the advice but I have a question. Where do you go to meet Christian women. My church is great and the Word is being taught well but I’m 31 and everyone there are just virtually twice my age, any tips or advice?

@betrothalguys

13 сағат бұрын

First remember you don't need to meet Christian women you just need one. If you are wanting marriage, not a string of relationships then pray and trust God to introduce you to the woman He wants you to choose. Be obedient to any steps He wants you to take in the meantime and learn to follow His lead.

Not everyone its a child of God keep that in mind.

What guards a woman's (or man's) heart even better is to not take them on dates! If you act all couple-like, then of course you have to constantly update the other person as to what your intentions are by those actions! But Christians brothers and sisters you don't have to treat each other like a girl friend and boy friend. Brother in Christ you can be praying for confirmation on whether you should pursue marrying her while treating the woman the same as you treat every other woman! If you wait on God's confirmation you can offer the woman full commitment, nit tske her on dates to "see where it goes." That's what our example, our Messiah, offers us. He asks us to accept Him and be His bride. He doesn't approach us without a 100% offer of betrothal on the table. A couple's relationship was meant to be all-in and covenantal.

I am a Christian man and I am done with Waiting for marriage and just being alone

@mnrsteeljoutafel

Ай бұрын

No brother be strong do not waste it

@ZactivityYT

Ай бұрын

I feel ya. However, don’t change the plan God has for you. This will come with time. Step one is to be content with being alone (and being alone with God).

@thediviner7430

Ай бұрын

This is going sound harsh but that sounds like an excuse. I myself have gone through something similar so I’m in no way making light of what you’re going through. Jesus made the ultimate sacrifice for all our sins and he didn’t nag or complain. Was he afraid? Yes, but he did it anyway because God commanded it. In this way we mist stay strong and look to the lord for strength. Like my dad always: better to be alone and live a Godly life than have to present God with a plate of excuses when you face Him. Hope this helps stay strong brother.

@jamesearl389

Ай бұрын

It took me til I was 51, then Father dropped the literal Godly woman of my dreams on my. We’re getting married in January and it’s greater than anything I ever imagined.

@djashovel

Ай бұрын

​@@jamesearl389That's crazy and insane Too late that long I would rather have an arranged marriage

I like this girl since 8th grade im freshman in highschool any advice

@aaroncarey1584

Ай бұрын

Pray about it and find some good Christian mentor to talk about it.

@isaiahvoss

Ай бұрын

First off, have a mentor (could be a parent or elder in your church) to hold you accountable Have close guy friends if they're Christian Read your Bible and pray if this girl is for you and your future.

@Macias_10

Ай бұрын

@@aaroncarey1584ok thank you

@Macias_10

Ай бұрын

@@isaiahvoss ok thank you God bless

@daltonnelson94

Ай бұрын

It's a must that she is a Christian too.

did you say "sleepover"? 🤨

@jcj6892

Ай бұрын

He sure did… *After* he said “if you’re boyfriend and girlfriend you’re Not going to…”

@SuperSaiyanScandinavian

Ай бұрын

@@jcj6892 lol i dunno how i missed that... i must have been tired when watching. somehow i thought he was suggesting that was normal. even tho i didn't necessarily think he was promoting premarital relations, i did almost think he was promoting near occasion of sin, which is why i was shocked. i need to clean my ears out and get some more rest

@TheBanjoShowOfficial

Ай бұрын

@@SuperSaiyanScandinaviancan you find me somewhere in the Bible where a premarital relationship is condemned? This is an honest question. Where is fornication in the Bible expressly stating an inclusion within that definition that it is the act of sex between two unmarried people that are perhaps together?

@SuperSaiyanScandinavian

Ай бұрын

@@TheBanjoShowOfficial lol are you seriously trying to defend premarital sex? Even masturbation without the use of porn is a sin, and you're questioning an act that leads to unwanted pregnancies and abortion on whether or not it's sinful. I also don't subscribe to Sola Scriptura because it's a deeply flawed belief system. We require both the Bible and Church tradition. John even writres in the Gospels that there's so much more to say that can't be written down. It's not like every detail of Jesus' mission was written down in the Gospels

@iwantfoods1652

Ай бұрын

​@@TheBanjoShowOfficial In case your message doesn't get a response from the video creator, I will try to answer. I encourage you to look up scriptures relating to this topic with the goal of understanding how God's intentions and view of marriage instead of focusing too much on black and white rules though some moral rules are quite clear. For example, there's nowhere in the Bible that says you can't eat junk food, but it does tell us that our bodies are meant to be God's temple and that we should do all things to the glory of God. It's always about understanding the heart of God's law rather than what we can or cannot do. To start off with, the Bible says that a husband and wife's body belong to each other. It also says "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the bed be undefiled; but God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterers." If two people are in a relationship having sexual relations but are not fully committed to each other in marriage (a spiritual covenant in God's eyes), that means they are not husband and wife. In fact, they might end up not getting married which means they would have committed adultery, which robs both people of the sacredness and experience you should keep for marriage. Even if the two people end up getting married, they will not have honored God because they chose to experience it outside of marriage; God wants us to experience sex within marriage for many reasons. I have a lot more to say on this topic but will save it for a book I'm writing. Hope this is a helpful nudge in the right direction!

How do you still love you girl after knowing so much about her sexual past?

@normanclatcher

29 күн бұрын

Ever met Gomer and Hosea?

Stop generalizing!

I think guys who are not emotionally and financially ready for marriage have no business dating. If you're a serious Christian guy you need to be ready to follow through with your intentions. You tell a girl you're serious about her and want to pursue a serious relationship with her, but you don't have a job, can't support yourself or are still in high school or college, you're playing with her heart. I've seen people dating for years just to get themselves in trouble, compromising their Christian walk and breaking each other's hearts. If you're ready to marry, seek a spouse with intention and then get married. If you're not ready for marriage, then go get ready instead of dating.

@normanclatcher

29 күн бұрын

...Excuse you, I was not "playing with her heart." _She_ was playing with _mine._

What about asking her parents wether you are even good enough for her... if not, don't even bother dating.... dating is not biblical

@Sarah-bs4qt

Ай бұрын

If your even good enough for her. A bit of an arragont thing to say and if God has called you to someone then dating for marriage is biblical

Ask God to guard it

Personally I think us as guys should take the time to be settled in our hearts about whether or not we are serious about a girl. That platonic friendship period is an opportunity to figure that out. I dont think communicating a desire for a serious relationship if youre half hearted is wise. In my opinion better to keep things platonic until you know you want her. For example you meet a girl one day at church. She worshipping God. She's serving and you find her really attractive. In your heart you see her as a prospect. But I dont think jumping the gun that day and making her know you want to date her is wise cuz youre making a decision purely based on external factors and never gave yourself the opportunity to get to know who she is which is why that platonic stage is so important. The platonic stage also gives you the opportunity to consult with the Lord and Godly counsel (who probably know her well) about the idea of pursuing her without getting her hopes up only to let her down. However throughout that stage its important that you maintain boundaries and not lead on the person. If you're not sure leading on the person is wrong. But what I will say is prolonging that platonic stage not making your intentions clear is also wrong as you say if you are sure that this is the person for you. You shouldn't be taking her out on dates or entertaining late night text convos if youre not willing to be clear about how you feel. Thats spiritual fornication in my opinion.

@silverbullet11202

Ай бұрын

I'd spent 6 months in the platonic stage with a girl as I sought the Lord and godly counsel before making my intentions known. Then I'd spent 6 years on and off trying to fruitlessly rebuild some semblance of trust with her. The problem is that it's nearly impossible these days to tell if a girl likes you, so more often than not you're better off just breaking the truth to her early on. Because if not you're going to either frustrate her and lose her respect by dragging things on (if she has feelings for you) or (if she does have feelings for you) you're going to betray her trust by essentially telling her that you were really wanting more out of the relationship than she was ever willing to give. That's been my experience at least.

@betrothalguys

13 сағат бұрын

It's important to not pursue a woman while calling it "friendship." Either it's a real, naturally progressing friendship, meaning it would look the same with or without the romantic interest, or you need to be content with "distant acquaintance." Many men have prayed about and been led to talk to a woman about marriage who they'd only had one conversation with. Isaac, in the Bible never even met Rebekah! There does not have to be be a relationship between brother and sister in Christ and betrothed.

Here is a controversial thought. The bible does not know dating. It is not biblical as we do it now. There is no soulmate or „the one“. There are only two criteria: do you like this person? Is this person a godly born again Christian? If so, marry that person (provided she likes you back). That’s it. Everything else is gods work in your marriage. That way you are not tempted to see if things work out or not.

@betrothalguys

14 сағат бұрын

"Do you like this person" is not Biblical. Everything the Bible has to say tells us to ask God to guide us to the spouse He has in mind for us. Adam didn't pick his wife. Abraham's servant asked God which woman He had appointed for Isaac, God said "man looks on outward appearance", Proverbs says not to lean on your own understanding and "a prudent wife is from YHWH." I agree with you that dating is unnecessary at best and often a distraction. Prayer for guidance and acting in faith is what we learn is God's path to marriage.

@dimitrikrawtschenko7093

2 сағат бұрын

@@betrothalguys god does not give you names and tells you who to marry. We do have brains though and the bible. We are allowed to have attractions towards someone. We are created that way. So in essence while it is true that technically only the last question is biblical, you wouldn’t ask it unless you liked someone specifically

777 likes 🤔

Misleading title. I thought this was about human organ harvesting. Wasted my time.

@normanclatcher

29 күн бұрын

Pro-tip? China.

@juliancollet3676

25 күн бұрын

You’re hilarious, man 🤣

Sorry babe I’m too religious for you

Only way for a marriage to be healthy is to have 2 mature adults working in the best interest for the relationship.

Oil up lil bro im coming for you

Ahhh now turns out WOMEN WANT CLARITY

@user-kf8wb2cq4f

Ай бұрын

Well, some claim that's what they want..

@normanclatcher

29 күн бұрын

...I believe I offered clarity when I told her I was wanting us to be friends. _They_ push the rest of the expectations on _me._

No human being can protect someone else’s heart; man, woman, or child. “But this is the covenant which I will make with the house of Israel after those days,” declares the LORD, “I will put My law within them and on their heart I will write it; and I will be their God, and they shall be My people. They will not teach again, each man his neighbor and each man his brother, saying, ‘Know the LORD,’ for they will all know Me, from the least of them to the greatest of them,” declares the LORD, “for I will forgive their iniquity, and their sin I will remember no more.” - Jeremiah 31:33-34 The Lord protects His own. Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said, “Who is this that darkens counsel By words without knowledge? “Now gird up your loins like a man, And I will ask you, and you instruct Me! “Where were you when I laid the foundation of the earth? Tell Me, if you have understanding, - Job 38:1-4

I snorted when I saw this video. Listen- I cannot care about someone else’s heart when I’ve cared for and sought others for years while neglecting my own heart and health. If a woman comes along into my life- THEN I will care.

Engagement rings and wedding rings are pagan traditions. Please, repent before it is too late.

@normanclatcher

29 күн бұрын

What?? 😳 😅

@GideonGehle-dk2xi

28 күн бұрын

Okayyy

Hey I am not a Christian, but these values about masculinity is what i need to embrace rn Thank u❤