How to actually know who you are

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#mentalclarity #selfimprovement #selfhelp
Timestamps:
What You Will Be Taught: 0:00
Stage 1: Understanding The Pause: 1:07
Stage 2: Clarifying The Incident: 2:41
When You Can't Examine Your Life: 4:29
Stage 3: Deliberate Meditation: 6:42
Stage 4: Transformation: 8:17
Example 1: Overuse Of Phone: 9:04
Example 2: Communicating Needs: 10:31
Example 3: Negative Thought Pattern: 13:29
What Self-Awareness Is Really About: 15:25
How To Become A Lifelong Learner: 16:28
Topics: how to live life more intentionally, how to be self aware of emotions, how to stop wasting your life, how to know yourself, how to stop living on autopilot

Пікірлер: 102

  • @ColeHastings
    @ColeHastings4 ай бұрын

    If you wanna meet like-minded people on self improvement and get access to free resources, join my free community: bit.ly/48SwuDN

  • @lp1252

    @lp1252

    3 ай бұрын

    Do you think you can do a video on how to live in the now. I struggle with anxiety and I’m always worried about the future. Just thought it would be good to see a video about and make me change my way of thinking

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    3 ай бұрын

    @@lp1252 watch my video "Your constant overthinking ends with this video"

  • @nickwallenda768

    @nickwallenda768

    3 ай бұрын

    How can you make a video like this when it's obvious that you don't really know who you are? Keep your answer brief please.

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    3 ай бұрын

    @@nickwallenda768 AdrianaGhost

  • @saahirrajab2002
    @saahirrajab20024 ай бұрын

    I often speak about the importance of journaling. I genuinely think it should be a practice everyone does daily

  • @jamieconnor3505

    @jamieconnor3505

    4 ай бұрын

    Damn right

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    Changed my life

  • @ItsAryax

    @ItsAryax

    4 ай бұрын

    Even though i don't do it now bec of exams It's a Life changing habit

  • @cosmo588

    @cosmo588

    3 ай бұрын

    Weekly I recommend. Some people hate writing, but everyone can write a paragraph a week about how their feeling and what’s going on in life.

  • @alysamarie2508

    @alysamarie2508

    3 ай бұрын

    My problems is I never know what to write about how do you come up with stuff to write about you just look up topics?

  • @adamhendy9227
    @adamhendy92274 ай бұрын

    We need more "How to live life" videos these days, thank you!

  • @EdgarDiazSpeaks
    @EdgarDiazSpeaks4 ай бұрын

    14:23 is SO real… It’s crazy how we’re basically spoon fed somebody else’s definition of success and then hold ourselves to the same standard. I actually touched on this in a video recently and it’s been my best performer to date! But that’s exactly why I started being super selective about who I take advice from and what content I consume… Your laidback and thoughtful approach is one of my favorites! As always, great video, Cole!

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    Thanks for being active in the community Edgar

  • @nickwallenda768

    @nickwallenda768

    3 ай бұрын

    @@ColeHastings The part about communicating needs makes you sound like a psychopath

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    3 ай бұрын

    @@nickwallenda768 AdrianaGhost

  • @_sukurima_
    @_sukurima_4 ай бұрын

    The three pillars of understanding myself better always were meditation, journaling and *absence* of music. Music just doesn't let me think, and if you don't think, you can't learn who you are.

  • @456456459
    @4564564594 ай бұрын

    His step two is more or less a TICES log. Meaning trigger, image (mental), cognition (thought), emotion, sensation (tight chest or ect.). It helps if your dealing with anger issues. You can see what the issue was and how your body responds.

  • @DoofenSpyroDragon16
    @DoofenSpyroDragon164 ай бұрын

    Lots of people need to pause instead of just ranting angrily for no reason just because one small thing set them off. Agreed greatly. Great video. 👍

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    💯 thank you

  • @DoofenSpyroDragon16

    @DoofenSpyroDragon16

    4 ай бұрын

    @@ColeHastings I also see you can’t decide on a title lol 😆 I swear it changed 5 times 😆

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    might change it 12 more@@DoofenSpyroDragon16

  • @DoofenSpyroDragon16

    @DoofenSpyroDragon16

    Ай бұрын

    @@ColeHastings lol 😁

  • @UnknownMFe
    @UnknownMFe4 ай бұрын

    This is why I should pick up skills now while I'm a teenager and can change my life easily. I have to learn how to live so that life will be easy.

  • @alysamarie2508

    @alysamarie2508

    3 ай бұрын

    Best skill you can learn is to go up to people and talk to them, charisma, be nice and interested in everyone! I struggle with this so much and it makes life so much harder I have no clue how to talk to people but I’ve been doing my own form of exposure therapy and am trying to get better!

  • @carlosandresmirandafabila9951
    @carlosandresmirandafabila99514 ай бұрын

    Dr. K and Cole made a huge impact in my understanding of myself, the world and life. I'll always be grateful for it

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    Honored to be mentioned with Dr K

  • @LOAisMagic

    @LOAisMagic

    3 ай бұрын

    In Dr. Ks coaching program. And I’ll be damned that Cole just nailed a theme we’ve been discussing about relationships and how sometimes we get defensive of other’s feedback. I now plan on telling my friends when I feel triggered by their comments. Love this. Thanks!

  • @dev_esh01
    @dev_esh014 ай бұрын

    Stage 3 is so true. One of the best months of my life were when I was meditating everyday for 20 minutes. It was so peaceful, like in a way i can't explain why i felt so peaceful and grounded

  • @gibs40
    @gibs404 ай бұрын

    Self-awareness comes importantly in play when people are facing issues in their lives, whether they are relationship related or financial or etc... The standard response to a problem is to numb the feelings of anger, sadness, frustration and anxiety through short-term solutions (instant gratification/ relief) instead of consecrating a part of the day to really reflect on the agents of the problem and the problem as a whole. This is extremely important as people usually don't really understand the problem, but pausing for a while as you said, and thinking thoroughly about the different angles of the problem, makes realizd that there is something they're missing and didn't come to their intuition, and this right here helps them navigate through the problem and get more clarity and calmness inside of them

  • @kingbrad4863
    @kingbrad48634 ай бұрын

    I just seen this but have just realized over the past few days that I don't even know who I am. I don't know what it means to be me or what my natural state looks like. Once again Cole you are on your mission. I really do believe there's an energetic link between us. You might not be getting many views lately but that's because of the way things are nowadays. Nobody wants to learn how to solve their problems... So if you think about it, you are creating the right content for the select few, rather than just filling the void of many. Please dont sell out, we appreciate you!

  • @thiscosine5332
    @thiscosine53324 ай бұрын

    Learning to harness the pause is a difficult but *super* useful skill! If I can catch a stressful stimulus before reacting to it, it’s much easier to prevent it from snowballing and ruining my day.

  • @Tsmooth313
    @Tsmooth3134 ай бұрын

    That's all I been saying lately. You have to love learning to think, put them words together, and grind! ❤

  • @lagirl4648
    @lagirl46484 ай бұрын

    THis is do helpful Cole! Thank you!❤

  • @sorrowtooth5494
    @sorrowtooth54943 ай бұрын

    I remember watching you in 2019 when you had about 5k subs… look at how far you’ve come bro ❤

  • @shrey_ofc
    @shrey_ofc4 ай бұрын

    Perfect timing for this video

  • @0Ciju0
    @0Ciju04 ай бұрын

    Thank you for another banger, brother; you are possibly the most relatable dood on KZread.

  • @fatenatiah1850
    @fatenatiah18504 ай бұрын

    You're amazing I'm rooting for you ❤

  • @mitchellcohen
    @mitchellcohen3 ай бұрын

    dope overview here Cole! Love the pause breakdown.

  • @shredmaster2009
    @shredmaster20094 ай бұрын

    Excellent work and valuable advice my friend. Only recently discovered your channel, but it's becoming one of my favorites.

  • @priyankashivani9781
    @priyankashivani97814 ай бұрын

    These videos are wise and soothing in the chaos ❤.

  • @nvyz1
    @nvyz13 ай бұрын

    this is an amazing well made and thought out video keep going this is some amazing work!

  • @GideonChemutai
    @GideonChemutai4 ай бұрын

    I love your channel

  • @RobertHowe-zv7gs
    @RobertHowe-zv7gs19 күн бұрын

    All the wisdom we need usually comes to us in or old age.

  • @jahongirsultonov1089
    @jahongirsultonov10894 ай бұрын

    Long waited video. 🎉🎉

  • @dulanariyathilaka8940
    @dulanariyathilaka89403 ай бұрын

    I have app timers on my phone! My phone offers app timers that connect with other apps so if I spend time using a certain group of apps it locks for the entire day. So far it encourages me to change my mindset about how much time I spend on my phone to the point where I use my laptop more, and I only use my laptop for productivity anyway which is a double win!

  • @lunedune4548
    @lunedune45484 ай бұрын

    Early! Love your content!

  • @RedC220
    @RedC2204 ай бұрын

    Nice video, much of your presentation could be covered by the word "Mindfulness". Something that I've embraced quite recently, aged 54 after an existential crisis. That you've arrived at this frame of mind at such a young age is wonderful, embrace it, embrace who you are and enjoy the moment.

  • @Terativ
    @Terativ4 ай бұрын

    Cole, it's a good video, I see you are doing some inner work I hope you are hanging in there after the break-up

  • @aadiichadlife
    @aadiichadlife4 ай бұрын

    I can't beleive how much efforts he is putting but he's still underrated

  • @naimfdz
    @naimfdz4 ай бұрын

    Wake up, babe... Cole dropped a video. 🗣🗣🗣‼‼‼

  • @nosherlockonlyseektruth

    @nosherlockonlyseektruth

    4 ай бұрын

    Lololol

  • @RobertHowe-zv7gs
    @RobertHowe-zv7gs20 күн бұрын

    The content of your videos is always so very interesting and helpful !

  • @kshitijnaik
    @kshitijnaik4 ай бұрын

    Hey cole, can you please make a video for people suffering with body dysmorphia?

  • @allisfairzg4117
    @allisfairzg41174 ай бұрын

    This is such an amazing video, as well as the comment section. These are topics that I’ve discussed within therapy that I’m currently paying for. I mention this because these are extremely important topics and concepts that shouldn’t be behind a paywall, and i’m so excited and thankful for someone such as Cole to bring this to light for those who might not have access to therapy, and can begin taking those first steps for themselves.

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    Extremely grateful for this comment. I want to provide as much free value as I can

  • @UnKnowPerSoN-
    @UnKnowPerSoN-4 ай бұрын

    Cole! how are you?

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    Not too bad, how about yourself?

  • @paulfeldman8771
    @paulfeldman87714 ай бұрын

    Fantastic video Cole! This is one of your best in a while. Everything you said is completely applicable and relevant! The pause is such a narrow window of time, but locating it and acting accordingly really is a skill onto itself, so thank you for sharing this!

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    Thanks for watching man!

  • @paulfeldman8771

    @paulfeldman8771

    4 ай бұрын

    @@ColeHastings any time man!

  • @abraham9777
    @abraham9777Ай бұрын

    go on . i love your videos

  • @joaotome40
    @joaotome404 ай бұрын

    I think after this I have to re read atomic habits. In the last week I was returning to my older self (their habits) and I felt like I was going back again. After this I got aware of my emotions and after that I think I'm going back on track.

  • @TheSticks828
    @TheSticks8283 ай бұрын

    I wish i had a mentor who will work with me on getting my lost, no direction life turned around! Videos are great but i have a hard time learning this way. I have ADD so my attention wanders or i dont retain the information! Its a tough existence!

  • @Flow_Like_Flo
    @Flow_Like_Flo4 ай бұрын

    It's like A video game, choosing a answer that effects the outcome of the storyline.

  • @RiwazRajDhakal
    @RiwazRajDhakal2 ай бұрын

    12:00 great editing man !

  • @helios99
    @helios994 ай бұрын

    Make a video on meditation journey and how to do it plz. And one on testosterone increase with proofs

  • @troxexlot18
    @troxexlot18Ай бұрын

    This video's many times more enjoyabke if you discovered the steps beforehand

  • @oyagomc
    @oyagomc4 ай бұрын

    BRO YALL GOTTA COLLAB, I LOVE DOCTOR K LMAO 😂

  • @masterchiefofhalo4525
    @masterchiefofhalo4525Ай бұрын

    How do I set a video to play every day?

  • @adamhendy9227
    @adamhendy92274 ай бұрын

    I literally got to be the first viewer, yay!

  • @THEwed123wet
    @THEwed123wet3 ай бұрын

    Does anybody know which device he is using at 11:20? looks very interesting for journaling

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    3 ай бұрын

    Might make a whole video on it, but it’s called the super note A6x2 nomad. Incredible device

  • @brianw6718
    @brianw67184 ай бұрын

    @7:20 E.T.’s shadow appears on the wall!

  • @nolanleedix
    @nolanleedix3 ай бұрын

    Lesson from video: self awareness is helpful ONLY IF you can change your BEHAVIOR as a result. Change of emotions comes from the changed behavior.

  • @jennerrr
    @jennerrr4 ай бұрын

    do you authentically believe in example 3 (negative thought pattern)?? because I feel like after some contemplation you would not actually align with this step. Making your own beliefs is not usually a good answer and will lead to disaster. This is why religion/tradition is important - humans following their own selfish desires will lead to disaster. In the right context shame and moral structures are important in my opinion, thoughts?

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    I don’t think I was arguing against moral structures here. It’s true that societies collapse under hyper individualism, where nobody agrees on anything. But when it comes to you not feeling good enough, or fearing failure, or any other belief that isn’t serving both yourself and others, that’s something you need to change, because it’s inaccurate

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    Put more succinctly, a society should follow the same standards of morals, but each individual should have the right to carve out their own path and live freely without abandoning the society’s glue that holds everything together

  • @jennerrr

    @jennerrr

    4 ай бұрын

    I like your second point here, a unified societal acceptance of general moral structures that still provides individuals the freedom to create more niche belief systems. Almost like how the Church has different denominations but a larger unified belief in Jesus and the resurrection. Thanks for clarifying. Big fan of your work@@ColeHastings

  • @United_Wings
    @United_Wings4 ай бұрын

    Wow

  • @user-ey5xw2nx9s
    @user-ey5xw2nx9s4 ай бұрын

    My parents have certain expectations of me. And they pressure me if I don't meet them. Unfortunately, I don't know what to do

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    You can start by communicating how those expectations make you feel, and how you’re doing your best

  • @user-ey5xw2nx9s

    @user-ey5xw2nx9s

    4 ай бұрын

    @@ColeHastings Thank you very much! I rarely have those "session", but after them I feel somewhat better. Maybe I should make it a regular thing.

  • @pinktights747
    @pinktights7474 ай бұрын

    Am i supposed to scroll past your videos also😅😅😅

  • @palomacantik3039
    @palomacantik30393 ай бұрын

    He kinda cute😢❤

  • @ishansingh1640
    @ishansingh16404 ай бұрын

    sir can you please tell your views on gaming its a really demanding request for me please tell me sir i mean brother can you tell me pleaseee

  • @niklwitart
    @niklwitart3 ай бұрын

    Big healthy Gamer Fan herre❤

  • @nosherlockonlyseektruth
    @nosherlockonlyseektruth4 ай бұрын

    As an Asian I can relate 😢😅😊

  • @lotsopontso4023
    @lotsopontso40234 ай бұрын

    This isn't a video on how to know who you are, it's a video on how to live mindful without your phone :/

  • @2Legit2glich
    @2Legit2glich2 ай бұрын

    I loved everything about out this guy til i realized he’s just a salesman

  • @saswigoo1069
    @saswigoo10694 ай бұрын

    Hey man . Are u still learning Japanese ?

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    I took a long time off but i have been studying every day for the past month

  • @akashkaul1923
    @akashkaul19234 ай бұрын

    bro u truly over think damn lol

  • @ColeHastings

    @ColeHastings

    4 ай бұрын

    All the time

  • @deswill2737
    @deswill27374 ай бұрын

    It is completely untrue that education is meant for obedient workers. This is not at all what we are thought in the teaching bachelors degree. The absolute main goals are for people to have basic understanding of how the world works while helping you find interest in what subjects you want to explore further on your own but also what role you can find in society. There is no teacher who will tell you there is a KZreadr who knows the truth, the point is for you to think for yourself.

  • @itisatruesignofgrace
    @itisatruesignofgrace4 ай бұрын

    Self improvement is worth nothing when you die and get judged for all your crimes against God and get cast into the lake of fire. Since every sin is an crime against God and he is an eternal being, it deserves an eternal punishment. Because God is not only perfectly righteous but also perfectly mercifull He came into this world and sacrificed His only Son to pay for the debt you made with God. God loves us that much!

  • @DiggingDeepVlog

    @DiggingDeepVlog

    4 ай бұрын

    If God was so powerful why doesn’t he make everybody perfect? Eternal damnation for some sins? Doesn’t sound very loving and worth worshipping

  • @itisatruesignofgrace

    @itisatruesignofgrace

    4 ай бұрын

    @@DiggingDeepVlog and before you say anything I have most likely told more lies then you, stole more than you and I am a sinner like you would not believe. I am deserving of hell bro. But luckily by the grace of Jesus I do not have to go there. I love you so much please think about Jesus when you are on a low point in your life or when you do not see any other way to do things. He wants you to give him your sorrows and give you peace in your heart and soul so your sins can be forgiven