Every sentence in this was like a bomb going off for me. I’ve been indoctrinated since birth- was sitting here at 30yo finally realising “nothing I ever do will make me good enough, loveable”. But my own self-reference is distorted. It’s not about _doing_ - it’s about *being* . As a daughter, I should _be_ enough. I am now waking, slowly and all at once, to the recognition that my self-reference is created in the image of a parental reference. It’s reference of me _doing_ . There’s got to be more to life than defining myself like that.

@megyalilaballad

Жыл бұрын

This struck profoundly deep that I can’t express into words.

@Picca65

Жыл бұрын

Well said and sadly true. But yes, by reparenting yourself and being with normal people you can heal and get a better reference

@gotcha9983

Жыл бұрын

I'm 42. They slaughtered me

@rachel14rod

Жыл бұрын

Same...fuck...I'm 34

@jjjackson5183

Жыл бұрын

Good for you! I was 50 before I started understanding, so you are ahead of the game. Understand that you will always want her to love you just for you. She does not know how.

Vertical format is such a great way of putting it.

Broken children from abuse, neglect, abandonment. I've seen it in people, my family. Too much of it in this lifetime.

They have no understanding of humility, only humiliation.

@shellieperreault6262

Жыл бұрын

TRUTH!

@SuperBlakes2

Жыл бұрын

True good play in words

I think narcissist is built trough fear, shame and guilt . Our society is build upon those three.

@reidsmith1063

Жыл бұрын

I think this much is true yes. When I was a child I always felt guilty, ashamed that I was accidentally created and actively made other people's existence worse and felt extreme anxiety that took most of my sleep. Now all I have is just pure self hatred and I still don't believe that I deserve help let alone love

@jasminasm9182

Жыл бұрын

@@reidsmith1063 All that matters is you recognized it so you can work on unconditionally loving yourself. Once you feel that you love every part of yourself good and the bad, you will change your attitude towards others and become compassionate. Love and light💜 sending you blessings🙏

@reidsmith1063

Жыл бұрын

@@jasminasm9182 ah well it is what it is, this pathetic existence will slip through my hands in no time and there are way more unlucky people than myself that definitely deserve help

@a_k2090

8 күн бұрын

The Narc decideed to be an Evil by his self choice and to hurt people because his fake inflated Ego.

Really good description - horizontal and vertical

The compliments from a narc parent are for things that serve them (and also condescending) “where’s my best little dish washerrr?” or something they can brag about to others “Emma’s a runner!”(and nothing else about Emma ever). Never about the person they are. The child’s qualities as a human being. Unless it’s to tear them down, then things get quite descriptive. They can also assign sarcastic names to people. My niece Sarah was helping out a family member that was struggling with life and mental health. She was also there for me through chemo and all my scans. She’s just a really good person. My mother refers to her (in a singsongy voice) Sarah the Saaavior! 😒 as in “Oh do you want me to drive you there…or let me guess is Sarah the Savior coming to the rescue?” It’s disgusting behavior from an adult. And exhausting.

@kdphotos4691

Жыл бұрын

I know this one well. My mother never supported anything that I did until she used it to brag to others. I even remember the first time that I became aware that she was "showing me off" as if she had anything to do with the prodigious drawing talents I had as a child. I was born with above average talents in certain things. I was bullied and put down so much that I learned that having any talent at all was a source of shame, even though those talents were things I was born with, they were just something I did, not something I needed to be validated. It got to where I equated my talents with pain, and in my middle age, I can't think of any talent that brings me joy, even though I could start any of them up again. I learned to dim my light in a deep-rooted act of rebellion where I refuse to take a chance that someone might praise anything I produce, and I for damned sure don't want to hear any more put-downs from people who feel threatened by the talents of others. I went through a phase where I found myself turning into my mother - criticising what others did, completely unaware that I was simply passing the hurt on to others who were not much different from me. I realised that that behaviour wasn't who I am. It hurt so much that I learned never to step on another's dreams or try to crush their spirit. Now, I am in a battle in my own head. I live a solitary life and I am free to pursue all those talents I had as a child. I am finding that the self-created walls are very complex once you've had your spirit crushed. As I write this, I am remembering a time I was on a healing track and started to draw again. Not recognising that a "friend" was an alcoholic who dispensed put downs and abuse quite freely in the form of sarcasm, I made the mistake of sharing a drawing that was such a breakthrough for me, as in, I was amazed that my childhood talent was still there, it came as an enormous blow when he mocked what I had drawn. I spiralled downward. I destroyed the canvas and proceeded to beat myself up mentally. That was over a decade ago. I still have several un-finished canvasses that I don't know if I will ever finish because every time I attempt to even look at them, I get flashbacks to the smirk on his face as he said cutting words about my work. I can see an image of the sketch of a boat I did, and the sense of pride that I did it at all. Then, his face and his words show up to remind me that my talents will only bring me pain. What's the point in sharing your gifts if you're scared of being validated for them, and scared of being hurt for them. Yes, the abuse those with narcissistic personalities dish out can be tragically life long damaging.

If you are good at something you are not recognized for it, if they are good at something they expect to be praised. When you point out you are not interested in what they are good at, or other people are better than them, they hate you. Only in the seduction phase will they praise you, after that watch out.

This is one of the reasons I have said music performance breeds narcissism. I have a much healthier approach to it than I did in my twenties, but I have had to take ownership of the times that music brought out the worst in me.

This information is invaluable for people who are recovering from narc abuse because we develop narcissistic traits in the process.. Allowing yourself to be a human being, to make mistakes, not to be perfect and still be valuable is really key. What we need is to ground ourselves in reality again. Nothing helped me do that like my spiritual awakening! They really make us worship them and on a very deep level we think they're Gods in our reality! My own parents did this to me and nothing is helping me like remembering that I have my own spiritual path in life, that I have a greater power that is supporting me. Strengthening my relationship with my God and with my inner voice was key. One thing I want to tell you Richard regarding what you previously said about fantasy. That blew my mind!narcissism flourishes in fantasy indeed. And it's not only about relationships. I believe I started developing narcissistic traits while studying architecture! I've seen my peers going through it too. Fantasising all the time about creating unique buildings and landmarks is such an ego boost that one really needs to ground himself from!😂

@dittehompoth1469

Жыл бұрын

I did nőt thought that they are Godlike, just narcissists whith huge ego. My exes has something positiv, but negative traits to, ex husband had serious issues obtaining a diploma, the second partener may be had nőt any study, the third öné was extremely intelligent but unfurtunately he privileged his addiction instead of his studies .They could nőt receive the perfect adulation só my relationships were short .

@Mia-zi5se

Жыл бұрын

I also have been going through a spiritual awakening the past couple years that helped me find clarity and free myself from a lot of the baggage i was carrying from childhood. Learning to love myself unconditionally and give myself that love i always craved but never received was the ultimate game changer that has healed so much. I think it's important to note that fantasy/dreaming of possibilities isn't a bad thing at all - in fact it can be a huge source of joy. We just need to learn how to use fantasy to inspire us to create good things we'd like to see in the world, for our own fulfillment, rather than use it to brag or boost our ego or seek validation from others (which only leads to emptiness anyway).

@lutfchehne

Жыл бұрын

@@Mia-zi5se All the best on your journey Mia :) About fantasy, yes I understand and agree with you, what I was talking about is different, it's really hard to put into words but Richard and Dr Sam previously talked about it and it was eye opening to me, the concept of shared fantasy (in a relationship with a narcissist) versus being committed to the truth and seeing reality as it is, we have many illusions in our lives and not being in touch with reality seems to be a hallmark of narcissism, so when fantasy becomes dangerous is when it's about the way we perceive ourselves and our reality. That affects us on a very deep level it's different than visualising or manifesting our dreams. Of course that's not bad at all. But first we need to face our reality and allow ourselves to be human beings, grounded in reality, humble, ok with making mistakes and constantly learning and adapting to reality. Not human doers, who think they need to be perfect, so they get out of touch with reality, they don't receive feedback from it, and don't really aspire to be better because they think they're the best already.

@Mia-zi5se

Жыл бұрын

@@lutfchehne oh okay, i see what you mean. Yeah, that's super important. Took me a long time to stop putting ridiculously high standards on myself while allowing others to be human and make mistakes. Screw perfection! Lol. I think I'll go and check out that video. Best of luck to you too 🙂

@annaslawinska1445

Жыл бұрын

Its just narcistic abuse wound...i explained in removin paternal maternal narcistic abuse whether by spoiling there is noone better then u blah or neglect...basicly all have narc wounds or bit of triats! Noone is saint and perfect.. but servity of the wound, circumstances my interfere with getting it and moving with the inner work...no1. removal of mother thennfather wound no2. Healing and reparenting inner child no3. Understanding toxix and decoding healed( divine) energy in self in both forms feminime( mother) and masculine( father)...thatdifrent called across universe and operational systems...inner union, full awakaning of the crystal concius mind to relese subconcious mind the beast and being in power to control it, onnes with universe, God, lol twin flame union etc etc...same pattern diffrent names...as narc for beliver is evil for froudian lower self , so empath is an holly angel for froudian higher self...the game is get back home real one heaven not conditional love but discover as this journey unconditional love u always had access regardles of your belive,lack, arogance or ignorance running app...narc is an app or programm runing or agent in matritx be neo 🙃

The most accurate description of a narcissist ever

@tanjakosonen7259

Жыл бұрын

As far and long i remembrr i was just shit

@tanjakosonen7259

Жыл бұрын

Nothing ...no love I was just owned by crazy people and wasnt aloud to think, speak , show My emotions Every thing was just put down devalued and disgarded Yelling hitting Underminde calling retarted Worthless fat peace of shit basically i wasnt Even a human being My sister was Stealing i was get to blame For IT... just so Sick I just finD Out that i Have a multipule identity disorder l or cptsd This IS real

The vertical symbolism you gave was astounding. Thank you!

@melaniecatchpole6024

Жыл бұрын

Total mic drop

Makes sense Richard, ty 💫

Once again he is always brilliant 💯

With every video you post Richard , you are helping victims free themselves from the chains of bondage . Thank you Richard ❤

Thank you Richard. It's actually very simple, we just all need to stop obsessing and move on with life. We gave narcissist in our life too much power and it's completely unnecessary We should just look at this so called " the most significant and unique love we ever experienced" as any other failed relationship in our life. Period.

So clearly and succinctly explained

I have known 4 narcissist and the one thing they all have in common was the lose of a parent. My dad when he was a child lost his mother raised by GM, ex husband lost mum early teens raised by GM, ex partner abandoned by his mum, raised by his GM and didn't know his biological dad, A short relationship raised by single Mum, abandoned by dad at young age. All of the above have used that fact to be horrible men and treat the women around them badly.

What a sad life they live

@tanjakosonen7259

Жыл бұрын

They are Hell

@mothernature88888

Жыл бұрын

@@tanjakosonen7259 Yes, but it's still sad...

Narcissism is caused by the withholding of unconditional love by your parents, so not being loved you fail to develop empathy. Not feeling love, you belodvr And the ego fails to develop normally.

@shirleyrombough8173

Жыл бұрын

Not feeling love, you believe you are unworthy of love. Therefore you can't love anyone else. Since your ego has not developed normally you try to gain as much attention as possible to fill that emptiness. But that emptiness can never be filled. Narcissists, psychopaths, sociopaths, borderline personalities are all similar. They have not developed empathy and never can love anyone else. The narcisstic personality develop flamboyance, the need for applause and

I agree. Wanting to know love but unable to compromise.

@honey-feeney9800

Жыл бұрын

I’d like to learn more about a person’s inability to compromise . In my marriage I compromised myself into a massive breakdown. My ex-husband wouldn’t compromise and it caused hurt and other damage to me. I learned that this was his method of control over the marriage . He was more than stubborn, rather he was obstinate . I hope Richard can do a video regarding how such an unhealthy dynamic affects a relationship situation .

@rachel14rod

Жыл бұрын

@@honey-feeney9800 same. In any relationship i place the other person above me.i don't know how to fix this.

How often do people use religion and worship as adulation and narcissistic supply, come on now

It's heartbreaking to grow up with a narcissistic parent

Godlike, yes, that's how he talked about himself. Oh, and "he was the only one who could help me" . One of the last messages he sent me was about saving me, cause noone else would be able to do that. I mostly feel bad for him nowadays. I've had moments where I think I could have done something different, of course I could have, but I didn't, I did the best I could at the time.

Learned this after a long time of watching how narcissistic mom treated and still treats her son…?sad but true …. All very true 😊

There are so many Narcissists in my family Richard and I mean my extended family not just my own nuclear family. How come I didn’t end up a narcissist? I want to be clear here I am a very assertive direct and truthful Empath that can be their worst nightmare. I have out smarted them and dominated them by stone walling many times. Including completely walking away living now with total strangers and perfectly well at the same time. Yes I did get absolutely exhausted and confused even had the self doubt but, I bounce back to my strong core identity because I learned to go inward and be alone since I was a child. It’s scary to reflect on how many people are like this in the world. I appreciate your content very much thank you 🙏

@anitavirginillo

Жыл бұрын

I so relate to this comment.

@censoredflamingovflamingo5402

Жыл бұрын

So sad🦋 believe in yourself and don’t give up you will meet people who truly care for you. You will just have to unfortunately cut strings with some people to make room for others who truly care.

I’m a Therapist giving my two cents... That was a great answer! My answer is simple... TRAUMA and trying to cope in a dysfunctional way. 💛☀️

Beautiful. The beginning part seems like a really good description for the life of Mozart. He was a prodigy at a young age and made amazing music but he had a life filled with turmoil. The movie Amadeus is definitely worth watching

How absolutely on target. Keep repeating these exact words. Please Richard. Please. Please. It's perfect a perfect way to explain how I was treated forever or for years.

Amazing work sir, I have been healing from a narcissistic father for many years, and you are one of the top speakers in the space I have found. Thank you!

Sounds like CULT like thinking. Unfortunate for the narcisst. Thank you!!!

thanks , Richard !

Yes I'm a certified CNA I told him that being my Ex NARC got health problems he will call me ,can you come by I'm hurting,or I need a message my body aching,or do you know what I can take for my back,but when you go around them you help them and before you leave to go home they make sure they hurt your feelings or upset you, Single life is Beautiful ❤

The way you described it as being vertical or horizontal helps me to understand it a bit better.

Oh Gosh, every single word you are saying is sooo true.

Most other self defense from N.P.D.s primers do not break down their construction. This helps to understand our own vulnerabilities. TY!

Excellent knowledge, finally. Thankyou.

This is so true. Yes. Thank you.

Exactly right

Do narcissists also feel uncomfortable when they're praised for anything? Like imposter syndrome?

@123cillitbang

Жыл бұрын

Good question. Maybe the covert ones

@mariemiles7287

7 күн бұрын

No they absolutely love praise, the more the better x

You are letting the light in 💡 my heart, soul and what's left of my mind thank you. Your truth has picked me up more times than i could count. The truth helps me to not feel jaded. Too niave, gullabile & earnest? Yes. That's what got me into this mess. But it is also what will set me free

My ex was extremely sexually abused. This didn't get healed there for had to create a way to cope with extreme trama . A super power of self granulation. I didn't have words to discribe this untel after we broke up . Videos like this help me to heal from the abuse 🌹❤️🌹

this explains why I was so confused by my ex's frustration and anger with my expressions of love(becuase it was always too intimate and also not enough), and why he would flip his lid if I expressed even a hint of displeasure. I figured we were horizontal, that just as I praised and loved him, he should do the same to me, and just as he asserted what he wanted and didn't want, I thought I could do the same. But he was the 'god' in vertical format and we were horizontal on my imagination. Neither king or piece of shit, just people who were supposed to be making effort daily to love each other well.

@aliross2720

Жыл бұрын

When people hear the word "intimacy," many think of physical intimacy, like sex. That is a type of intimacy but it isn't the only kind or even the most important kind. Intimacy is sharing yourself with the other person, and the other person sharing themselves with you. Physical intimacy falls into this category of course, but sharing our bodies isn't the only way we share ourselves with others. The problem for those dealing with pathologically narcissistic people is that often, this is the only kind of sharing there is. If the narcissist is someone in your family, then for all intents and purposes, there may be no intimacy in the relationship at all. This can be very painful. Humans desire intimacy and connection with others, so when intimacy is lacking in relationships of any kind, people can feel very lonely and unfulfilled. In romantic relationships with narcissistic people, physical intimacy can become very important. We often hear how great narcissists are in bed, or how their partners become addicted to sex with them. Maybe that's true. Or maybe physical intimacy with narcissists becomes so important to their partner because that's the only kind of intimacy there is. It can feel like true intimacy in the moment, and people often mistake it for true closeness. But sex is not the source of intimacy in a relationship. It's an expression of it. Some narcissistic people may even withhold that as well, leaving their partner in a completely barren relationship. Intimacy is sharing yourself with another person, allowing them to see the real you, who you really are. It is no surprise at all that pathologically narcissistic people find this difficult. Indeed, many of them are pathologically phobic of almost all intimacy. And that makes sense. With as much as they are hiding, with as much shame as they are operating under, with as many identity issues as they have, the idea of sharing "who they really are" with someone else would have to be terrifying. And that's if they even know who that is and could even do so. Because they lack identity and mimic others, the more narcissists attempt to emulate someone they admire, the more they feel controlled and dominated by that person. This fear of engulfment results in anger and accusations from the narcissist, and the other person shaking their head in confusion. Narcissists suffer at varying degrees from a fear of rejection that is coupled with a fear of engulfment. This is another reason for the push-pull dynamic of their relationships. When they feel too close and too dominated by the other person's personality, they push back. They have spent their entire lives trying to separate from their environment and other people but never quite making it, so they want to protect what little identity they feel they do have. They push the other person away, attempting to create space and individuality, but their identity is actually wrapped up in the other person so they feel rejected and frightened by the distance they themselves have created. This is an endless cycle that can go on for months or even years, with the other person feeling like a yo-yo on a string because of the constant ups and downs created by the narcissist's lack of identity and inability to distinguish themselves from other people. To pathologically narcissistic people, true emotional intimacy would feel like an invasion, an exposure. It would feel dangerous and threatening. Remember, narcissists believe a person must be perfect in order to be worth anything and that includes themselves. So are they really going to be able to willingly and safely be able to share their fears, their flaws, their vulnerabilities? When they've spent their entire lives hiding these things - even from themselves? When they believe the revelation of these things destroys any value they may actually have as a human being? These are people who can't even admit they left the door unlocked or bought the wrong kind of cereal. Pathologically narcissistic people have spent their entire lives avoiding, denying and hiding from who they believe they really are. Because of this, they don't know or trust themselves any more than they know or trust anybody else. If you cannot know yourself, you cannot accept yourself. If you cannot accept yourself, you cannot believe others accept you. If you cannot believe others accept you, you cannot trust them. If you cannot trust them, you cannot share yourself. Without sharing, there is no intimacy. Without intimacy there is no real love. It all starts in the same place. If you do somehow get a glimpse at a narcissist's true vulnerability - or if you discover it and bring it up, the shame and terror they feel for showing it to you often results in a vicious backlash. They may rage, disappear, go cold and hateful, accuse you of tricking them into telling you, accuse you of only caring or listening so you can use it against them, use your own vulnerabilities against you or any number of other things designed to defend against the shame and the rejection they feel is coming for revealing themselves as not being perfect. Relationships with pathologically narcissistic people can feel intimate, at least at first. It can feel as though you've found your soul mate, the person who truly and fully gets you. However, over time you realize that this person has no actual interest in getting to know the real you and absolutely zero interest in letting you know the real them. They reflect yourself, your feelings and your interests back to you, they do not show you themselves. They don't know you and you do not know them. This revelation is often very shocking for people and it can be very traumatic. The person you believe you've been sharing yourself with for years has no insight into your character or personality at all - and they don't care to have any. Worse, who you thought they were is not real, either. There is no connection at all. This happens in part because narcissistic people idealize others. They don't get to know a person for who they actually are. Everyone idealizes a new relationship to some extent, but most people are able to see reality. They may ignore it for a time or try to rationalize it, but they can see it and their idealized feelings or opinions will become more realistic over time as they get to know the person through experience, exploration and intimacy. Pathologically narcissistic people do not seem able to do that. They dismiss things that happen which don't fall into line with their narrative and there is no intimacy. Therefore, they don't get to know the real you. They don't even really see you. You exist as a two dimensional representation of their own feelings, not as a complex human being in your own right. When you are seen as good, you can do no wrong. When you are seen as bad, you can do nothing right. This is not realistic or fair, but it's the way things are. Many people are endlessly frustrated with the lack of intimacy in their relationships with pathologically narcissistic people. Intimacy creates a feeling of connection and bonding. It makes us feel seen, heard and known. It makes us feel loved. In relationships of any kind with narcissistic people, there is no true sharing. There is no true bonding. There is no true understanding of the other person. There is no honesty, no stability and no trust. There can therefore be no intimacy and no real love. Intimacy - true intimacy - comes from knowing and fully accepting someone. In this of all things, narcissists will forever fall short. They can't even accept themselves and accepting yourself is how you create true intimacy.

@aliross2720

Жыл бұрын

One of the hallmarks of relationships with pathologically narcissistic people is the cycle of good times and bad times, where the narcissist alternates between decent or loving behavior and cruel abusive or neglectful behavior. This is dynamic is caused by splitting, the process by which narcissistic personalities attempt to understand whole object relations. Narcissistic people have extreme difficulty with this and as a result their brain creates two different separate images of the same object when contradictory characteristics are encountered. In order to hold this new contradictory information this usually looks like a split where one understanding of the person is all good and the other is all bad. Ironically because narcissists engage in splitting they may actually accuse the other person of having what seems like multiple personalities or flipping like a switch when in actuality it is they who are doing that. The cycle of narcissistic relationships alternates between idealization and devaluation. The good times with narcissistic personalities are predicated not on love but on idealization which is an imaginary way of viewing something as perfect and more valuable than it really is. The bad times with narcissistic personalities are predicated not on hatred or indifference but on devaluation which is an imaginary way of viewing something as more flawed and less valuable than it really is. Neither idealization nor devaluation are about the other person at all. They include no realistic understanding of the other person in any way. They are about the narcissist affected and even delusional way of seeing other people and themselves. When things are bad with narcissist or when the relationship has ended it is common to romanticize the good times to remember them as perfect or as better than they really were. This is partly because compared to the bad times the good times really can seem amazing. Of course if all you ever ate was cardboard a two dollar steak would be amazing too. Your perception is influenced by the information you have. The daily recommended calorie intake for adults is between 2-3 thousand calories a day. If someone eats 30 thousand calories a day and then they decide to cut that to fifteen thousand calories a day their perception may be that they're starving now, when in actuality they are still grossly overeating. it's important to challenge our perceptions with reality to be sure that we're able to see things as they really are. No one is starving if they're eating 15,000 no matter how they feel. The good times with narcissists are often not really good times even if by comparison they seem to be. Part of the reason for that is that their toxic narcissism shines through even during the good times. It's easy to believe that narcissist bad behavior only comes out in the bad timesm especially comparatively speaking. However the longer the relationship goes on people start to realize that this is actually not true. Much of this is on display throughout the relationship no matter what phase of the cycle that it's in, especially the lack of empathy the selfishness and the egocentricity for which they are known, this never goes away and the truth is it usually isn't even hidden that well. People just don't realize what they're seeing or they interpret it as something else. It is only through constant exposure to the behavior and more extreme examples over time that people realize what it is and more importantly that it's been there all along. If you find that you are caught up in romanticizing the good times ask yourself if they really were that good or if they just seem good by comparison. Were you ever really truly supported by this person? was there ever any real connection between you two as people? did anything you ever cared about really ever matter? were you ever truly seen by them? were you ever really heard by them? The narcissistic cycle ensnares the ego with idealization by building it up to tremendous heights and then crushing the ego brutally with devaluation, seemingly at random or for no reason. This is a cycle that intoxicates the ego inflates the ego and even tricks it into falling in love with its own importance, then rips all that away which causes the ego to endlessly chase for more, trying to explain, prove, reason in the hopes of receiving idealization again, but this cycle is not based on real emotions or actual love at all. Idealization definitely feels goodm anyone would like to be considered perfect but it's not love. It can't be because there's no bonding, no intimacy. It's not based in reality in any way and it includes no real understanding of the other person as a person at all. Even if you have genuine feelings for this person you are missing and romanticizing idealization from them not love and you don't need idealization it's just as toxic as devaluation.

@aliross2720

Жыл бұрын

Pathologically narcissistic people are users. There's just no other way to say it. They use other people the same way a non-narcissistic person uses tools or objects. Because of this, all relationships with narcissistic people are transactional. That means that the relationship must be providing the narcissist with something. If it doesn't, they will abandon it. They have no use for something or someone they cannot get anything from. We generally see this in all narcissistic relationships, even if it doesn't appear to be the case. Trust and believe they are getting something out of it, even if they say they aren't and even if they don't seem to be. For example, a pathologically narcissistic person may tell you repeatedly that you have nothing to offer, that you're boring, that you're ugly, that you're no good and all manner of things designed to make it sound like you have nothing anyone could want. And yet... they are still in the relationship. They have not left. That means that they are getting something out of it, regardless of what they are saying - even if all they are getting is the feeling of superiority from running you down. That might not seem like much of a reason to stay in a relationship - and for non-narcissistic people, it isn't - but for a narcissist, it could be exactly what they are looking for. This is not just something that happens in romantic relationships either. To be honest, no narcissistic behavior happens in just one kind of relationship. Pathologically narcissistic people see everyone the same. Whether the person is their spouse, their sibling, their parent, their child... everyone exists for their use. A narcissist that exhibits jealousy in romantic relationships may often display jealousy in family relationships, too; such as a man who is jealous over other men getting his wife's attention, but also when his brother gets their mother's attention. A narcissist that attacks their spouse for small mistakes may also treat co-workers this same way. People who do not offer the narcissist anything are considered useless. They will often be ignored and abandoned when a better deal comes along. And "deal" is the correct word; it is a transaction. The narcissist does what they have to do in order to receive what they want from the other person. This can take many forms, it can be many things. They may want money, sympathy, admiration, for people to fear them, for people to desire them, a punching bag they can abuse, someone they can feel superior to... the list goes on and on. What they want often has a direct effect on their behavior, which is why the narcissist may (at first) appear to be many things to many people. It isn't that they are different, per se. It's they want different things from different people. If they want to be feared by their spouse, they must be a tyrant at home. If they want to be admired by their co-workers, they must be charming and magnanimous at work. If they want sympathy from their friends, they must appear to be a hurting victim. It is the same person doing all of these things and though they are different, the motive for all of these behaviors is the same: supplementing their nonexistent self-worth. Pathologically narcissistic people cannot create, regulate or sustain their own self-worth. They have to extract emotional responses from other people using various manipulations and masks, which they then convert into validation of their existence: If someone admires me, I'm good. If someone cares about me, I matter. This is not true self-worth because it is totally reliant on other people, but it is the closest thing a narcissistic person can get to it. As with any other human being, the total loss of self-worth is disastrous and can lead to suicide. Because narcissistic people have no self-worth to begin with, they are completely dependent on others to give them value. As you can imagine, much of the time, one person is not enough to fulfill this. It's like filling a pitcher with a hole in the bottom. One stream going into it would not do very much at all. But 3 or 5 or 10 streams pouring into that pitcher would be much better. The problem is, the hole in this pitcher is big. The pitcher can perhaps stay at a constant level, but it cannot get full - no matter how much is poured into it. And if the streams stop, it empties very quickly. This is literally a life-threatening catastrophe for a pathologically narcissistic person. If even one stream stops, this is often noticed immediately and felt very deeply. The narcissist may panic, trying to regain that stream or find another to take its place. You may wonder then, how discards ever happen. Well, the stream dries up or it slows to a trickle. They are not getting what they were getting from this source before. The mirror has clouded and all they see when they look at this person now are reminders of things they've done wrong. They will begin to search for other streams - other sources that aren't clouded - when they notice this happening. And when they find one, the old source is replaced and the problem is solved. Other people are mirrors to a narcissist. They don't see the other person themselves. They see a reflection of who they are and what that reflection looks like is entirely dependent on what they believe that person's opinion of them to be. If they have treated this person badly, or believe the person to be superior to them, the reflection will not be a nice one. It will look like flaws and weakness and ugliness. If the person does not know them very well or looks up to them, the reflection will be more pleasing. This is why they often seem to value the opinions of strangers over their family; the stranger's opinion is generally not tainted by any of the narcissist's abusive behavior. How could it be? They don't know about it. The relationship is no more than the necessary rigmarole that narcissists must go through to get what they cannot create for themselves. They must rely on other people, but in the end, it really doesn't matter who the people are. In many cases, it could literally be anybody, because it's not about the other people and never has been. As we can see, relationships of any kind with narcissistic people can really be nothing other than transactional. They need things that they cannot get on their own. They must "purchase" them from other people through manipulation, extortion and subterfuge. They are in fact dependent on other people for their survival. I have compared narcissistic people to vampires for this very reason, but it's also very like a relationship between a baby and a caregiver. The caregiver holds all of the responsibility for the relationship. It is their job to provide care, love, support and literally everything else the child needs. The baby's only contribution is to exist and receive these things. If you've had any type of a relationship with a pathologically narcissistic person, you know that this is exactly what they believe a relationship is supposed to consist of: they are supposed to exist and you are supposed to do everything else, regardless of how you are treated, what you want, what you need, how you feel or anything else. That's what they think should happen when someone loves them. It's unrealistic, unreasonable and and almost pathetically childish. Babies are not expected to show love, empathy, compassion, reciprocation or anything else. They are not capable of that just yet. It seems that narcissists are suffering from an arrested development that has rendered them incapable of it as well. The difference is that babies do not abuse their caregivers. They are not adults that understand right and wrong, or make deliberate choices to do things that hurt others. And they don't stay babies. They grow. They mature. They learn. They eventually reciprocate. Narcissists don't. A baby changes and grows every month. A two year old is only 2 for one year. Being in a relationship - any relationship - with a narcissist is like being in a relationship with someone who stays 2 years old forever.

@Effrustrella

Жыл бұрын

@@aliross2720 dang! That was quite a lot, but so very very informative. I read it all. I feel like someone was there experiencing everything I experienced. So thank you

@aliross2720

Жыл бұрын

@@Effrustrella in toddlers and young children there is a phenomenon known as parallel play where children play beside each other without interacting or even really acknowledging each other. Even though one child may emulate or imitate the other and even though they may be playing with the same set of blocks sitting right beside each other. This is the precursor to playing together., t's a healthy milestone in development for young children. This is very similar to what happens in relationships with pathologically narcissistic adults, you are existing in parallel not together. Parallel play in very young children is an egocentric activity wherein children desire the company of others but they don't yet have the skills to play cooperatively or to coordinate activities with other children. We could possibly say the same thing about adult narcissists. A big difference is however egocentricity in very young children is not bad it's not selfishness. It's a normal and necessary part of development. It's a building block that creates the foundation for other things. The parallel play stage ends when children develop the skills to interact and engage with other children. For narcissistic adults development has not happened correctly resulting in immature emotionally arrested and egocentric adults who are not able to bond or attach with other people in a healthy way and who by now no longer even want to or believe that it's possible due to fear or just simple disinterest. One of the most consistent impressions people get from their interactions with narcissists is the pervasive feeling that the narcissist is having a much different relationship or experience than they are. This may not be obvious at first but the longer the relationship goes on and the more mature of the people around the narcissist become the more obvious it is. This is fair, narcissists are having a different experience than you and live in a very different reality than the one that you are experiencing. One that may not even bear a resemblance to actuality in any way part and parcel to this is the lack of connection in the relationship. This also may not be obvious at first. In fact it may feel like you have a deeper and more powerful connection with this person than you've ever had with anybody else. However the longer it goes on the more obvious it becomes that this is actually not true at all. Not only is the connection not deeper and more powerful than with others, there really isn't any connection at all. This is in part because pathologically narcissistic people cannot bond or create connections with others. They seem unable to go past the initial idealization part of a relationship no matter how long the relationship goes on. Idealization is not love it's an imaginary way of viewing somebody or something where they are perceived as perfect. Most new relationships include some kind of idealization but when people get to know each other and they develop a true bond the relationship can then survive the bumps and bruises of learning that someone else is not perfect and idealization matures into actual caring and love. This does not happen in relationships with pathologically narcissistic people. They cannot forgive the reveal that other people are regular people with flaws or the reminder that that's all they are as well. It is intolerable unforgivable and they will never let it go even if the relationship continues. For all intents and purposes after the initial reveal that shatters the idealization it's over. They will never trust you or see you the same again. The reason it feels like there's such a strong connection in the beginning is likely because in most relationships at this time there's no emotional connection at all, therefore the intensity coming from the narcissist seems powerful and deep in comparison and perhaps it is powerful and deep compared to nothing at all. However once you get past the idealization period in a relationship and people start expecting a deeper connection and more mature emotions there's nothing there. It never gets past this level of intimacy which is really no intimacy at all ever. It's like cotton candy. it looks good it smells good and it even tastes good but only for a second because it has no substance whatsoever. The further you go in a relationship with a narcissist the more you realize that an idealized or devalued version of you and the relationship is all there is. After a few years people start to realize that their partner, friend or parent or whatever does not know them at all and does not want to know them. Worse the narcissist may believe they do know them and is incapable of seeing that this is not true. There is no connection with this person at all and no effort from them whatsoever to create one. Any attempts from you to create a real connection spend time together or even just have a conversation may be initially entertained but they are eventually met with things like scorn, boredom, fear, accusation, indifference, even anger. They just can't be bothered except when they want something and even then the charade is usually entertained only as long as they need to entertain it to get what they want and no longer. There is no true effort or good faith here, it's simply one person using another person for a very specific purpose and not bothering with them at all when that purpose is not paramount. The relationship has lost its initial value, whatever that was and the bloom is now off the rose so there's no reason to invest what little they have to give. it's just driving until the wheels fall off. Ironically because they believe that the other person is to blame for the relationships fall from grace there generally is no recognition from the narcissist whatsoever that this is not okay or that this is not how it's supposed to be. This happens because narcissists are not capable of healthy bonding with other people and some may not be capable of bonding with others at all, even if they want to do so which many do. People need to bond with each other. Narcissists are dependent on other people for survival- literal survival- and most are at least somewhat aware that they're dependent on other people. But needing somebody is not loving them. Their behavior is designed to induce other people to care for their needs either through manipulation or by force, Their side of any bond or attachment with other people is characterized by dependence it is not reciprocal in any way. However even though they can be successful at forcing or tricking others into taking care of them they still don't feel safe because it's not genuine, they could only achieve that through manipulation so there's constant fear and shame ( not shame for manipulation but shame that they could not get someone to care for them being who they really are) it's very sad and ironic that they didn't give anybody the chance. Many narcissists probably do believe that they love and care about other people and that they can bond with them. This is their reality, they don't know what they don't know and in a sadly ironic twist if there's a problem in the connection of a relationship they believe that's the other person's fault. They don't realize that what they're experiencing is not real connection, not true attachment and bonding or not actual love. They assume it is because that's all they've ever had or ever felt. Anyone trying to explain that this is not true is met with blank stares or accusations of attempted manipulation. Life with such a person is not only traumatic it's loveless, it's often very empty and lonely. You may be left with a partner that is not interested in or capable of connecting or interacting with you in any real way and maybe not even at all. Even when they are behaving as if they want to interact or connect it's like there's a glass wall between you and the narcissistic person. You can't reach them through that wall and they cannot hear you. It's a parallel existence where you are existing beside each other and maybe even doing things with each other but you are not together in any way that matters. They turn away from all your bids for connection, they walk out of the room or turn up the tv when you're talking, they forget your birthday every year even after 20 30 years of being married. Nothing about you matters any more now than it ever did and though we may believe that these things are done on purpose and of course some of them are it's equally likely maybe even more likely that it happens because they feel no connection to you at all and they just don't care. Perhaps even worse than their conscious cruelty is this blatant and totally oblivious dismissal of you as a person that occurs even during the good times. There are some people who genuinely cannot love other people. It's not a reflection on you. It's not due to anything you did or did not do, regardless of whether they blame you or whether they don't. This is an ability that they for whatever reason just don't have. You're dealing with someone who is so immature undeveloped and childish that they literally cannot provide another person with anything needed for a relationship of any kind on any level or you're dealing with a person who is consciously using you without remorse because their needs are all that matter. Either way this person is not prepared to offer you a healthy relationship and their likelihood is extremely high that they never will be.

I was adopted by a narcissist; grew up feeling completely worthless because I brought reality into her world, and she didn't like it. It has taken years of being as far from her as possible, to realize that it wasn't me; I'm not a failure, I don't deserve to suffer, I deserve fair treatment, kindness, respect, and love and to give those things to myself as well. My work will never truly end. I came into this world through horrible circumstances, at best, but the value of my life is what I am doing, projecting kindness into the universe.

Very true 😢

Wow. Thank you-so much wisdom distilled into one minute…describing a lifetime of tragic falsehood and misery.

Thank you

I was like that. Then I changed. Then I wanted a normal healthy relationship. But I married a covert narcissist. And I went through the highest level of change I've ever experienced. Now I am actually filtering out people from my life who are like I used to be, and I'm investing in relationships with people who are the way I'm working on being. It's been a journey!

I just was ghosted by a man I've been with for 2 years and then found out he had been cheating with a friend of ours which I had confronted and he said no. The craziest thing is I was with another narcissist for 20 years and then ended up with another one a year later. I kind of acted like a narcissist. One of the things I had been told is that I had PTSD that I never went to hear before and then I was helping somebody and his girlfriend. She ended up beating me up really bad and her. Point is when I was dating him I was kind of going crazy. It felt like he helped me so much. It's only been 7 weeks but thanks to God and my aha moment, and a few of your videos: I finally love myself, the truly. I always just need validation. So whether it was 3 months later 6 months or a year after I broke up with someone I needed a man to flirt with me. I feel empowered, happy, and most of all not alone. I realize there's a connection with everyone. It's beautiful. YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL. I'm very grateful

@censoredflamingovflamingo5402

Жыл бұрын

I hope your okay. ❤

@tishwallace6899

Жыл бұрын

@@censoredflamingovflamingo5402 Thank you. I'm really good. I actually am feeling happy, motivated, empowered, and I forgave both and let go. He still has my boys (puppies). I hold my values. We promised we would always be friends. I'm not going to hang out with him, but when I'm able to see the boys ( I never want to feel awkward). They're just human and broken. Have a great evening.

@censoredflamingovflamingo5402

Жыл бұрын

@@tishwallace6899 good for you, glad to hear 😘.

@tishwallace6899

Жыл бұрын

@@censoredflamingovflamingo5402 And you? How are you? Did you enjoy the video? I just adore Richard. He gives such good advice. I actually signed up for telegram, but ended up back on youtube for some reason.

@censoredflamingovflamingo5402

Жыл бұрын

@@tishwallace6899 well I’m going through a rough depression atm, have been for a while now. But I will survive always do. I’m a strong person. Thanks for asking.

Or as we may wish it true. We 💪🙏learn to love each other but most importantly LOVE self. 1st. AMEN 🙏❤

Balance does not exist without love

Thanks for undressing Narcissists ‼️

The best explanation I ever heard

The problem is when the NPD parent will then only love us in the same manner. And you fight every day not to be a narcissist yourself because they have infected you with their virus.

Funny thing when you talk about vertical my ex-girlfriends that I just dumped here a couple of weeks ago talked about the vertical format of being either down below or up above or down below. Thank you for pointing this out and sharing it with the world. In all reality I don't wish her ill will I just wish you could heal from her damaging childhood that she had

My teacher is like this. They are frightening and off putting. But as teachers we are automatically adulating them and so therefore their status is ensured and we are forever under their ‘spell’, a constant supply for their narc needs.

This is so well said

After a childhood of trauma I ended up with a friend who'd learned to faun to Narcissists. The conditioning of Authority and Value is bi-directional. Which really adds an extra twist of tragedy to the concept of dictators and other forms of extreme authority in the world. After a critical phase, the strongest form of perpetuation is the environment shaped around the fear/love of the object. And the object of the attention behaves as is expected of it.

Very insightful.

Very very good! 👍Thank you! This seems so on the $.

My son's father (narcissist) impressed upon him that he has to win everything, or the need to always be first. My kiddo is young so I'm hoping to adjust this by planting better, loving seeds in him.

Great explanation thank you!

Thanks for this Richard, it clarifies a great deal but is however still somewhat confusing. What if someone had a narcissistic parent where they only ever experienced validation from that parent exactly as you describe - an object of adulation if performing to the parent's satisfaction and invalidated if not - yet the child does not themselves develop NPD in adulthood... Instead the child develops an acute awareness over time that something is very wrong with the "vertical love" scenario inspite of the indoctrination and then actively chooses a different path to pursue a different kind of love and self acceptance which is more "horizontal" despite not having experienced this with the parent in childhood? So how does this explanation then fit into why children of narcissistic parents themselves do not develop NPD when exposed to the same circumstances? Why is there more self awareness and empathy?

Ok,this is so spot on! Better than anything I've ever heard in therapy regarding this. I married an entertainer and this is him completely. I'm grateful to be out of my marriage.

Very good explanation

Thank you for the informative content 👏

This is true. I witnessed this.

Good explanation!

It's like the child mind learned that love is always Reaction, not Interaction. And they don't start out wanting to cause trouble, but negative Reaction is easier because eventually pursuing positive Reaction causes exhaustion and burnout.

That’s the best description of the hell we go through.

Please talk more about having kids with a narcissist that would be so interesting what your advice would be?

Oooohhhh just been through that experience...yet again! Got it this time, thanks to you Richard. Much gratitude 🙏

when the narcissist asks “how is little Lily?” there must be a list of accomplishments, AND those instances deserving of adulation change without notice. In this way the manipulative narcissist changes the game in an instant to withhold adulation, therefore “love” and remain in CONTROL!

Very true

My evil sister was faced with a future with 5 other siblings when she decided to choose one, namely me, to be the scapegoat her narcissistic source. That happened 66 years ago after a history of my now being bereft of my former 3 generation family amounting to 30 people I think. My life has been hell on this earth with my sister telling innumerable lies most of which I was never told. The lies included: I had aids, I murdered our mother before stealing her wealth and one of my lodgers has a hiv positive. All those things are lies which I will never be able negate as I can only assume that everybody in my community has been told. I have dragged myself through my life in a constant state of upset. I have journaled my life and I shall soon give my family copies of it. I don't suppose the evidence will be read but at least I have tried to prove the injustice I have lived through. amounting to 30

@brendastein404

Жыл бұрын

Sorry for your unbelievable pain and suffering... Always know that if you have a heart that is in the right place, you will soar above her lies with Wings of Steel...Stay Strong My Friend!!!

@ScottishLass1

Жыл бұрын

Your thoughts will remain with me. I thank you. K

@ScottishLass1

Жыл бұрын

@@brendastein404 I thank you for your kind words. Recently my nephew ( my sisters flying monkey son) who has been pleading with me for years to make up with her asked me once again to visit her. So I phoned her right there and then. She was sobbing when she heard my voice. Oh yeh believe that. Anyhow I went around the next day armed with a box of Tunnocks Teacakes ( tee hee ). She presented me with bags of Christmas and Birthday presents and assured me that I was not to be concerned about the rest of the family as she would sort them out as they would take me back if she wanted that. So then I asked her a question. "Why have you told lies about me for the last 66 years. " She looked stunned and started screaming for me to leave her house immediately. Gosh I had never seen her so animated. So the Tunnock Teacakes were sitting on the work surface at the back door and on my way out I punched with my first, each and ever one of them. Once i complete my story I will instruct my former family to ask her the same question. Let me know if you want a copy of my 66 year report. Thank you so very kindly Kathleen xx My last communication with her involved me asking her one question. The question was ' why did you spend all those years lying about me to my family and friends ?. Gosh she went berserk....screaming to me to leave her house in a really animated way. I just laughed as I had never seen her respond with honesty in her eyes such as she did. I think now I have a plan for her to reveal the truth albeit reluctantly.

Wow it’s one after the next ! Bam bam bam like waves 🌊 man I feel you and I’m so grateful for you and to be alive

I was raised by abusive narcissistic people and never felt love, ever. When I had my own children, I vowed they would feel important and loved. Consequently, I now feel like I did too much and think they are all 3 vetting degrees of narcissistic. I just never wanted them to feel like they were nothing like I did growing up. Wish I could maybe go back and make things more balanced with my own children.

@bloodymary8540

Жыл бұрын

U can still do something about it if your children are not already in late adulthood and showing constantly pattern of toxic behavior... Talk to them about it.. We are all humans and make mistakes..and even if they are adults...if they want help they can get it

Sociopathic tendencies are much more subtle. Narcissists are just big babies x

You put that in perspective young man.💯🥳👀

It's born in trauma, a life and death survival strategy.

Funny thing: there were a few moments I remember clearly from my very early childhood that "humanized" me. It took a long time to learn that "being perfect to be loved" was actually very off-putting. It is a big relief.

This made so much sense. Thank you.

I’m well aware that my horrible brother in law isn’t god; I went to school with him. He was the dumbest kid in every class. Wasn’t even athletic. Still he managed to marry my otherwise intelligent sister, and wreck the entire family in the process. We didn’t even know what hit us. Our heads are still spinning 30 years into it. When my nephew, who was the black sheep of that family, and the reason we sucked it up for years, finally went no contact, my parents and I followed.

@davespark10

Жыл бұрын

Aw your poor sister

@K3r0411

Жыл бұрын

@@davespark10 Yes and no. It’s regrettable that her life took this turn early on, but no matter what nonsense her husband put their son and our immediate family through, and it’s been nonstop for decades, she always stood by him. He managed to turn the most gentle, sweetest girl into the most toxic person I know. And for a mother to throw her child under the bus to me is incomprehensible, and I don’t even have kids. Now that we went no contact they moved on to slander. I hope they burn in hell.

@carolinesalv

Жыл бұрын

I hear you, sounds like your former B.I.L is a Sociopath..the second stage of narcissism and FAR worse!

So for example, if someone says things like, "Only I can fix it", "I'm the healthiest individual ever elected to the presidency..." etc...

Caregivers install 2 messages in your head as a young child- " You have no idea who you're going to be when you grow up", " You are the best blank can be friends with or date", " You are an angel"...etc. Or You get screamed at, belittled, devalued, abandoned...etc. You do not matter or exist and are reduced to an object rather than a human being. There is NO middle ground. None. The child's brain takes this and does with it whatever it can or must do in-order to survive in those environments.

The endless cycle of self pity , and self contempt . Grandiosity they confuse with grandeur , aspiration they confuse with inspiration . Self adulation , Alexander the ? " Great " a famous Narcissist !

This is truly profound!

Thank you Richard.

Amen

Minimizing the normalcy of relationships

Thankyou for sharing.

NPD may be treatable with talk therapy. You should not deprive people of hope.

It seems to me like in the parental relationship that the parents are merely expressing or projecting their own duplicity of themselves on to their children. And it is this duplicity that brings confusion making the child's foundation of identity unstable, and undermining the the ability to trust their parents. That's requiring external validation, in order to prop up the false self. If the parents would, acknowledge and accept their own inner supressed wounded feelings because no doubt they were hearing the same things when they were a child or in their adult life. And have never actually acknowledged and accepted it because whenever it comes up it is suppressed , in denial but eventually all of those wounded feelings that were suppressed continually, from time to time, surface and become. Because those feelings, want to process, and we when we suppress them we stop them from doing so. This is why it's very important to acknowledge and accept with loving kindness and hospitality your own inner wounded feelings treating them as a wounded child and you as the parent, who purposely makes that wounded inner child / wounded feelings, the most valued the most important, the highest priority, in your life for that present moment and always! Because as you do acknowledge and accept with loving kindness and value and esteem, you are giving that to yourself! Thereby, fulfilling the need for internal validation, which therefore circumvents the necessity for codependent external validation! This process when practiced continually will heal all codependent behavior. Because your feelings require the opportunity to be acknowledged and accepted and loved and given a place. Moreover, how is a feeling supposed to process from wounded to healing, if you do not give it what it needs in the same way how is a child supposed to mature from a child to an adult, if you constantly neglect their needs and pretend as if they do not exist? This is the very reason, the very core the very foundation as to why we have psychological dysfunction. How many times do you feel lonely? Well put it in perspective, your feelings are in control of how you feel obviously! But we don't make that distinction, if we did we would prioritize them as the number one most important thing in our lives! Because feelings are the foundation from which the rest of our lives depend. Because we allow, even depend on feelings to dictate what we do and where we go and how we are, and we do not understand, that we are supposed to have a parent child relationship with our feelings. But if we were not trained to be the parent consciousness we will continually be the child, wounded feelings etc. So, acknowledge and accept, with loving kindness and respect, esteem and value your feelings and as a result,we place that same upon ourselves! And thereby we treat others the same, it actually becomes our second nature!

My mother was adored by her grandparents as a child. They thought she walked on water. The reason they praised & spoiled was because she was the first female born into our family for over 20 years (at the time). Oddly enough she hates all other females! Can't meet another female without insulting them as soon as they are out of earshot. Terrible mother, total narcissist. The better the childhood. The worse the adult, I just don't see why. People need to teach their kids to be grateful for the good things & stop falsely praising kids. Very, very unhealthy.

Sadly, I still absolutely adore my ex that cheated on me. I would always tell him that I would do anything for him and that I adore him. Slowly getting over it. I got love mixed up with pity lmao (he is one effed up individual)

This guy is on to something.

I had a bf who i assumed was human and i happened to find out he is a hybrid reptilian rh- bloodline (neanderthal traits) infant quite an uncanny resemblance to you. They live among us. Walking around in human suits, wearing a mask if you will... any hoo... He's 23 and I'm 17. His fav colour is blue and my fav colour is red... I loved him to the moon and back but I can't be with someone who is a completely diff species to me. He's a dark being but i'm a light being. As the saying goes - opposites attract but It does feel like We've been together for 36 years it was very draining to be with him, he's like a black hole. It is a big secret to keep and i feel betrayed. I do think he was trying to tell me indirectly, through the movies he had me watching with him. We've seen John Never Dies 93 times!! You'll laugh if I listed all of them. He always kept this alien sculpture head - another clue?👽 his favorite movie is Highlander. He had cthuhlu as his screen saver too. He wore "something wicked this way comes" t shirt. His fav band was iced earth and danzig. He loved to make axes and "walking" sticks. He made a make shift bomb one time. I think I was in a shared fantasy with him🤔 what you reckon? Any thoughts?

@brendastein404

Жыл бұрын

RUN!!!

Thank you so much 💖💖💖

Well Bam! That hit home

So the thing though, is that the brain is plastic. So it is possible to create different pathways in the brain. However, the previous pathways will always exist as a hurdle to overcome, every day, all the time.