House-Cured Pastrami - Steven Raichlen’s Project Smoke

Steven Raichlen reveals the secret to luscious Applewood-smoked pastrami studded with black pepper and coriander. Steven Raichlen’s Project Smoke is a production of Maryland Public Television in association with Barbacoa, Inc. and Resolution Pictures. Copyright Barbacoa, Inc. 2015

Пікірлер: 138

  • @preprebelactual
    @preprebelactual4 ай бұрын

    I make pastrami at home all the time, because I was unable to find a pastrami anywhere in my town. It is so very easy, it just takes time and patience

  • @franciscoortiz6980
    @franciscoortiz69805 жыл бұрын

    Steven... you are awesome. I tried this recipe (except I have a traditional wood smoker). Steven is one of the few guys that is starting from scratch (most of the other ya-hoos on the internet are using pre-brined meat... bleah). So all you haters... go away or prove you can make one better!!! ANYWAY... on to my version. I brined it the same way Steven did. I placed it in a turkey bag, then in a bucket that fits in my fridge, shook and flipped the bag every few hours. MY Rub: 4 parts black pepper, 2 parts coriander, 1 part brown sugar, 1 part garlic powder, 1 part onion flakes, 1 part paprika I brined 1.5 days, took it out rinsed cold water, dried it good. applied thin coat of mustard to outside then used a shaker to put on rub. I smoked it until inside reached 150degrees. Wrapped it in foil, put in oven cooked till it hit 195 (Texas cheat) Took it out of oven, wrapped in plastic and towels, waited half hour before carving. .... foget ahhbot itttt Now... it is difficult balance between smoking all the way (crust is nicer but meat dries) Vs oven cooking (juicier meat but crust gets soggy). People who eat at my house like this half n half version. .... My recipe also works GREAT with pork loin !!!!!

  • @MrLuigji
    @MrLuigji8 жыл бұрын

    I made this twice now, but with store bought corned beef instead of brining it myself. Rinsed the meat in cold water for about 7 minutes , dried it with paper towel. Then I put all the seasonings as you recommend. All anyone can say is : The best Pastrami since being in New York. It turned out absolutely incredible, thank you very very much!

  • @inkslinger6156
    @inkslinger61566 жыл бұрын

    Looks really good. I always enjoyed your shows

  • @aneshiadixon8762
    @aneshiadixon87626 жыл бұрын

    Thank you. I'm gonna try this

  • @chrislederer7770
    @chrislederer77707 жыл бұрын

    Awesome instructions. Thanks for sharing. Also really like your Panerai Radiomir.

  • @TexasStyleCuisine
    @TexasStyleCuisine8 жыл бұрын

    Enjoyed the demo thanks for sharing

  • @jameslocke5498
    @jameslocke54985 жыл бұрын

    Looks great, I'm sure it tastes great. Thanks for the info.

  • @stizan24
    @stizan248 жыл бұрын

    I made my first corned beef brisket a couple weeks before St Patrick day. I cut a packers brisket into 2 pieces and turned the point into pastrami. It was good. I'm going to pastrami a hole brisket, albeit cut into 2 or 3 pieces for convenience. I'm going to make pastrami Rubens. I am smoking mine on my WSM. 225 till 150' then wrap in paper and go to 195' let rest in the paper in a cooler for an hour and then unwrap and rest in open air for 20 min. I do my brisket like that and the bark is awesome and the meat is tender, juicy, and very warm.

  • @cw7784
    @cw77848 жыл бұрын

    love the sceneries

  • @Daveyblackjack
    @Daveyblackjack5 жыл бұрын

    Steve we gotta get ya back in the main stream, I make a mean baby back rib because of you. Yer legend in my book.

  • @alphakanfb
    @alphakanfb5 жыл бұрын

    Perfect recipe my friend,thank you.Greetings from pastirma world,Istanbul.😊👌🤘

  • @Rabbitearsblog
    @Rabbitearsblog8 жыл бұрын

    Awesome video!

  • @ilkerkenancinardali7365
    @ilkerkenancinardali73654 жыл бұрын

    I am from the Turkey.. Thanks Mr Steven..I like and will try...😉 "Hı" from the Turkey

  • @ezrabrooks12
    @ezrabrooks126 жыл бұрын

    LOOK'D GOOD!!!

  • @Allmything
    @Allmything4 жыл бұрын

    you forgot the pickling spices in the brine.

  • @ibehl
    @ibehl2 жыл бұрын

    Great recipe, simple and practice....one question, No steam it? ...

  • @SweetCandy92367
    @SweetCandy923675 жыл бұрын

    Very nice......

  • @pde442
    @pde4428 жыл бұрын

    Good video

  • @WhiteThunderBBQ
    @WhiteThunderBBQ8 жыл бұрын

    nothing better than pastrami on rye!

  • @lloydkline7245

    @lloydkline7245

    6 жыл бұрын

    White Thunder BBQ i love pastrami when i come out of the cooker

  • @thebeauti101
    @thebeauti1016 жыл бұрын

    YUMMMM!

  • @mtlbiketech7960
    @mtlbiketech79608 жыл бұрын

    Nice !!! I'm dry curing a chunk of brisket in a attempt to imitate Montreal smoke meat. Going to smoke it tomorrow, been curing for 7 days.

  • @WhiteThunderBBQ

    @WhiteThunderBBQ

    8 жыл бұрын

    Montreal smoked meat is an amazing thing!

  • @nicholasmedovich6729

    @nicholasmedovich6729

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@WhiteThunderBBQ actually made 12 inch beef ribs with Montreal steak seasoning and smoked it over apple and cherry wood chips for 8 hours. Tasted incredible

  • @rubbnsmoke
    @rubbnsmoke2 жыл бұрын

    Pastrami is made from brisket. Brisket comes from the chest/breast area, NOT the belly or "naval" which is technically the cow's belly button. The word "Pastrami" doesn't come into the English language until 1936 when Jewish New Yorkers started making it out of corned beef. Basturma is actually an Armenian "dry cured" beef.

  • @esterbosca6275
    @esterbosca62756 жыл бұрын

    Wow Very Very nice

  • @robertzack1635
    @robertzack16356 жыл бұрын

    Im going to grow my hair out just like yours, i love it. Evil scientist bbqds = barbeque disco style

  • @philliptrujillo0824
    @philliptrujillo08246 жыл бұрын

    Your the man

  • @jamesgretsch4894
    @jamesgretsch48945 жыл бұрын

    I see brisket sold in many places but naval I never seen it sold. Don’t think I can find this cut of meat anywhere.

  • @raymondquadros7142
    @raymondquadros71426 жыл бұрын

    Excellent Video and Presentation. This guy is the Steven Spielberg of Pastrami. I have one question Steve. As I heard of Katz's, Does Katz Boil & Steam their Pastrami after it is Smoked? I know they Steam it, but do they Boil it, is my question. Let me know Please. Does anybody else have any info if the Boiling is for real? Please reply.

  • @scasey1960
    @scasey19604 жыл бұрын

    What’s the salt content by weight? I’m thinking 7.5% by weight of water + meat.

  • @scottsog7635
    @scottsog76357 жыл бұрын

    With mine l brine it for 21 days then soak it fresh water twice for 4 hours to remove salt. I than cook it at 275 degrees for roughly 9 hours then boom it's done and it's awesome!

  • @STFUandRTFM
    @STFUandRTFM8 жыл бұрын

    Could you give me thelist and amount of the ingredient you used for the cure and the rub?

  • @jerrycarr9372
    @jerrycarr93725 жыл бұрын

    What is the name of that grinder you are using?

  • @NoHippieBBQCooking
    @NoHippieBBQCooking7 жыл бұрын

    i was raked over the coals for not streaming my pastrami after i smoked it.

  • @ahdiyatcahyo1185
    @ahdiyatcahyo11856 жыл бұрын

    Willem Dafoe certainly knows how to smoke some strami. Don't forget to pickle a parker, Sir.

  • @jimsher9880
    @jimsher98806 жыл бұрын

    The guys at Katz's Deli would laugh their arses off at this.

  • @johnnymcg4596

    @johnnymcg4596

    5 жыл бұрын

    I have made pastrami using the point , flat and whole packer brisket,on a weber kettle grill. And yes it is almost as good as Katz's.

  • @paulmarion7578

    @paulmarion7578

    Жыл бұрын

    Katz does not make there own pastrami someone does it for them .

  • @Drinks-and-finger-food
    @Drinks-and-finger-food7 жыл бұрын

    What brand is that electric smoker?

  • @camilleriap2

    @camilleriap2

    7 жыл бұрын

    Javier Ocampos it's a Bradley smoker

  • @EHCBunny4real
    @EHCBunny4real7 жыл бұрын

    Can it be made with brisket because I remember my dad making it that way.

  • @SmokinJames

    @SmokinJames

    6 жыл бұрын

    It can be made with brisket flat

  • @alexistisby1601

    @alexistisby1601

    5 жыл бұрын

    Gary W people cook it different ways so can you like stfu thanks. :)

  • @difficultylevelnoob6095

    @difficultylevelnoob6095

    5 жыл бұрын

    This is a brisket cut.

  • @difficultylevelnoob6095

    @difficultylevelnoob6095

    5 жыл бұрын

    Gary W if you actually had a clue as to what you were talking about them you would know that this is actually the navel cut off a full brisket. Just as there is a flat cut there is also a navel cut. The fact that you believe fat is bad and ruins the quality of meat shows your ignorance. While his methods for brining, rub and cutting were questionable... this cut of meat makes the best pastrami due to the richness of the fat.

  • @johnnymcg4596

    @johnnymcg4596

    5 жыл бұрын

    @Gary W What he made was the original, real deal way it was made. Fat is flavor.

  • @JE-eb2tn
    @JE-eb2tn7 жыл бұрын

    Aren't you supposed to add pickling spice to the brine? The recipe I have uses a lot of spices in the brine. Not sure how you're going to get a true pastrami flavor without it.

  • @Lengsel7

    @Lengsel7

    6 жыл бұрын

    I'm thinking the same thing. All these videos/recipes say to brine it in salt water, then add spices as a rub...but why not put it in the brine first? Makes sense to me.

  • @belovedone151

    @belovedone151

    6 жыл бұрын

    brine - def: Salt Water.

  • @garyshepard7881

    @garyshepard7881

    5 жыл бұрын

    Beloved One pastrami - def: pickling spices.

  • @dchenkin02

    @dchenkin02

    3 жыл бұрын

    There are different versions of pastrami. Some cure the meat in the same manner as red corned beef, some use a different curing methold.

  • @Gluteus_Waximus
    @Gluteus_Waximus4 жыл бұрын

    How dare you disrespect such beautiful meat with bread like that.

  • @faustinfittante9459
    @faustinfittante94595 жыл бұрын

    Hello, can you tell me what is this two-color bread that you use, thank you !...

  • @harryc1454

    @harryc1454

    4 жыл бұрын

    Marble rye

  • @freddyrosenthal56
    @freddyrosenthal56 Жыл бұрын

    Hi. This is great. Yours is the only video I can find where you use navel (like Katz's and Langer's), not brisket. I haven't figured out the trick to slicing it. Next time I'm going to let it cool for at least 3 hours. Any tips how to get the chewy (inedible) membrane out of there with out butchering the pastrami?

  • @user-jz5ul3hu5z
    @user-jz5ul3hu5z4 жыл бұрын

    Hi how much is the electric smoker please ???

  • @idacow8237
    @idacow82377 жыл бұрын

    so, I built my own smoker out of an old crock pot heating unit and a portable dishwasher, it works friggin great as the seal on the dishwasher allows for zero air to get inside, hence no fire and a constant temperature, just fill the crock pot base with your wood chips amd presto!!! smoker that will last for about 6 tpo 8 hours on a bag of wood chips. maybe I'll make a video on how-to

  • @IngaHicks
    @IngaHicks7 жыл бұрын

    Steve, does it matter to the home cook which smoker you use to smoke meats??

  • @thechef8714

    @thechef8714

    6 жыл бұрын

    Inga Hicks no it doesn’t matter. What type of smoker do you have?

  • @xxkasperxx
    @xxkasperxx6 жыл бұрын

    Why do I see same volume recipes with 8 teaspoons and others with 1 ?!

  • @rockpontiac3968
    @rockpontiac39685 жыл бұрын

    Should have been steamed after the smoking cycle the next day after you let the smoke set. But still looks good.

  • @javiervalle6338
    @javiervalle63387 жыл бұрын

    Is it necessary to use the curing salt?

  • @RBCbomber

    @RBCbomber

    6 жыл бұрын

    Javier Valle yes! Without the curing salt you're just asking for botulism and you could get really sick

  • @thomabb

    @thomabb

    6 жыл бұрын

    I have made my own bacon many times and never used curing salt. You just need to be careful with hygiene, meat sourcing and cross contamination. Botulism toxin can't survive in a high acid environment, like brine.

  • @ramonpascual155

    @ramonpascual155

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@thomabb Acid enviroment? What do you do? adding vinegar?

  • @thomabb

    @thomabb

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@ramonpascual155 Basic brine solution is very acidic.

  • @AJRelaxesWith...
    @AJRelaxesWith...6 жыл бұрын

    Is the beef navel the brisket flat with some of the point?

  • @nicholasmedovich6729

    @nicholasmedovich6729

    4 жыл бұрын

    No. It’s actually the bacon area.

  • @nicholasmedovich6729
    @nicholasmedovich67293 жыл бұрын

    Also I’d use cumin and no sugar. Gives beef a terrible aftertaste IMO

  • @raymondquadros7142
    @raymondquadros71426 жыл бұрын

    As I heard of Katz's, Does Katz Boil & Steam their Pastrami after it is Smoked? I know they Steam it, but do they Boil it, is my question. Let me know Please. Does anybody else have any info if the Boiling is for real? Please reply.

  • @RBCbomber

    @RBCbomber

    6 жыл бұрын

    Raymond Quadros amazingribs.com/tested-recipes/beef-and-bison-recipes/home-made-pastrami-recipe-thats-close-katzs this link I believe talks about how Katz's steams the pastrami

  • @stevewitt7123

    @stevewitt7123

    6 жыл бұрын

    I know when you buy a whole pastrami from them, they reccommend boiling for 4 hours until tender. The steaming is just to keep it warm.

  • @msouza0317

    @msouza0317

    6 жыл бұрын

    Boiling will make it tender bc they cold smoke it. They never reach rendering temp, also to help leach the salt out from the cure

  • @craigluhr7243
    @craigluhr72435 жыл бұрын

    I am just wondering why the need for pink curing salt or better known as sodium nitrite. I have home cured my own bacon for years without it. Salt and smoke are methods for preserving food used for centuries. If you want the pink color, there are healthier options.

  • @DontStopBrent
    @DontStopBrent3 жыл бұрын

    He didn’t say beef navel enough for me.

  • @rhinomechanics8423
    @rhinomechanics84235 жыл бұрын

    Steven, But what about us with Just an Oven ? No Can Do ?

  • @jayshealthwellness3982
    @jayshealthwellness39826 жыл бұрын

    Is there anything like pastrami from pork

  • @hollissimpson2986

    @hollissimpson2986

    5 жыл бұрын

    yep, bacon!

  • @antonio7815
    @antonio78152 жыл бұрын

    You forgot the swiss cheese and the saurkraut, hello.

  • @cjbidwell
    @cjbidwell8 жыл бұрын

    Very cool! You remind me of the Bob Ross of cooking. haha!

  • @traynorv
    @traynorv6 жыл бұрын

    what is beef naval???

  • @nicholasmedovich6729

    @nicholasmedovich6729

    4 жыл бұрын

    Beef bacon. Also cut from the under side of the short plate.

  • @steakwilliams4448
    @steakwilliams44486 жыл бұрын

    That pastrami sandwhich should be exactly 5 times bigger. Also I grew up with an awesome Jewish deli in my town and I swear they did their pastrami with brisket. Is this normal? I've never heard of whatever cut is being used here

  • @bowler3458

    @bowler3458

    6 жыл бұрын

    I think he means skirt steak.

  • @difficultylevelnoob6095

    @difficultylevelnoob6095

    5 жыл бұрын

    This is a brisket cut. "Navel end brisket"

  • @tarnis3d

    @tarnis3d

    5 жыл бұрын

    It's navel/Beef Belly... part of the beef plate. Good luck finding it, I've had none...corned beef flat works OK though..

  • @izaimariusz1
    @izaimariusz15 жыл бұрын

    Drink a shot everytime he says ”beef navel”

  • @MaloneMantooth
    @MaloneMantooth3 жыл бұрын

    "When I was in estanbul" who is this guy red reddington?

  • @rparr51
    @rparr517 жыл бұрын

    A real Pastrami sandwich is at least one inch thick with Pastrami if not more. The best are in a Kosher deli as I have experienced. Brenner Brothers Bakery please come back from the dead...

  • @heyklackey

    @heyklackey

    6 жыл бұрын

    For what it's worth, I believe Mr. Raichlen is from Pikesville, MD - a predominantly Jewish area with more than a few spots to get a real deal deli pastrami sandwich. I would trust his opinion on this one. Can't wait to make this on my own!

  • @theguccipilot
    @theguccipilot7 жыл бұрын

    Bob Ross knows how to cook? Did he moved on from painting since he passed?

  • @96150coconut

    @96150coconut

    7 жыл бұрын

    That meat look like Vandyk Brown"

  • @robertzack1635

    @robertzack1635

    6 жыл бұрын

    You never you tubed bob ross though. You made me laugh

  • @belovedone151

    @belovedone151

    6 жыл бұрын

    coco, meat looks pink to me. Just like he said would happen because of the pink curing salt.

  • @ikon8275

    @ikon8275

    5 жыл бұрын

    Wow so clever, such a basic observation. Very funny you should think about a new career as a comedic writer.

  • @mrtippyman
    @mrtippyman5 жыл бұрын

    He sure does like saying naval.

  • @gabrielpadilla4533
    @gabrielpadilla45334 жыл бұрын

    That is my home, Tucson Arizona! Would you like to meet up and knock around ideas?

  • @ronvavra
    @ronvavra6 жыл бұрын

    Steven, you have such a big production set up but no teleprompter? Sell some smoked goodies and buy yourself one.

  • @garyshepard7881
    @garyshepard78815 жыл бұрын

    I noticed when you seasoned the bottom of the meat and then turned it over in the pan, about half of the spices fell off! Why not slather it with mustard before adding the spices to help keep them on?

  • @nicholasmedovich6729
    @nicholasmedovich67293 жыл бұрын

    My spice rub for Beef navel Is Montreal steak Seasoning, Coffee Grounds, Mustard Powder, and Worcestershire Pub Burger Seasoning.

  • @Chief351L
    @Chief351L3 жыл бұрын

    Never in my life have I heard the term “Beef Navel”, No, Ain’t happening!

  • @roastbeefdinner
    @roastbeefdinner7 жыл бұрын

    he looks like heat miser in this clip

  • @rochester7051
    @rochester70516 жыл бұрын

    Looks delish, but could you stop referring to it as "beef navel"? It's wierd.

  • @dikhetto

    @dikhetto

    6 жыл бұрын

    Rochester Smith it is beef navel

  • @paulmarion7578
    @paulmarion7578 Жыл бұрын

    Not just any pink salt ! 😂😂😂 you need Premium #1 Prague Powder granulated Pink . You get it at Amazon if you use the pink Himalayan salt from the grocery store the meet will turn gray LoL ! I know this from experience !😂😂😂😂😂 I might have to try that cut of meat I always use a full packers Brisket when I make Pastrami . And a real smoker 😂😂😂😂

  • @davidstanek1227
    @davidstanek12272 жыл бұрын

    This brine leaves a lot to be desired.

  • @3870TheDad
    @3870TheDad5 жыл бұрын

    It's best if you refrigerate your pastrami overnight after you cook it. Slices easier and thinner.

  • @j.s.3363
    @j.s.33636 жыл бұрын

    So we are ignoring the fact he got the fanciest bread of all time?

  • @ericvonsiebenburg548
    @ericvonsiebenburg5485 жыл бұрын

    The word pastramă is Romanian. It is pastromá in Russian and basturma in Armenian. I'll leave the Turks to their own devices. Romanian Jews brought pastramă to New York city circa 1900, and the word pastramă morphed into pastrami in New York Yiddish. The best pastrami in the world is still in New York after a hundred years, and if you don't know where to get it, just ask anybody in Manhattan. Oh and that tiny, skimpy sandwich you made would cause a riot if you ever tried to serve it in New York to anyone older than an infant. And although "Pastirma" has been served in Turkey for a thousand years, actual pastrami is definitely NOT from Turkey. In Turkish cuisine "pastırma" can be eaten as a breakfast dish and it is a commonly used ingredient for omelettes, menemen (Turkish-style shakshouka) or a variation of eggs benedict. Pastırma may also be served as a meze small plate appetizer accompanied by alcohol like the traditional anise-flavored liquor called rakı. Turkish "Pastırma" can be used as a topping for pide bread, hamburgers, and hummus. It can be as a filling for a "burek" that is made with kadayıf instead of the traditional filo dough. It may be combined with potato to make a filling for traditional bureks as well. It is also a common addition to many of the traditional vegetable dishes, especially the tomato and fava bean stew called kuru fasulye, but also cabbage (pastırmalı lahana), chickpeas (pastırmalı nohut), asparagus (pastırmalı kuşkonmaz and spinach (pastırmalı ıspanak). It can also be used to make cheesy pull-apart bread. Although to some, the two words may sound similar - but a cat is not a cot, a cot is not a cut, and green eggs and ham are not real. Raichlens are no longer all Silver gilders and "Pastirma" bears no resemblance to pastrami. The only similarity is both words begin with the same four letters - but so do the words MASTicate and MASTurbate, and these two things obviously have nothing in common either.

  • @knockitofff
    @knockitofff7 жыл бұрын

    again, always takes the smallest bite and a quick edit, guy's a closet vegan!!

  • @jamit2u

    @jamit2u

    6 жыл бұрын

    knockitofff I’m not so sure of that those cactus puts him in Sonoran desert probably around Tucson so my best guess is he’s Californian , homosexual or possibly both

  • @belovedone151

    @belovedone151

    6 жыл бұрын

    This guy has the best cooking show - ALL BBQ.

  • @motopix45
    @motopix456 жыл бұрын

    This one was phoned in. Look for other pastrami vids.

  • @tedschmitt178

    @tedschmitt178

    5 жыл бұрын

    And what makes you an expert?

  • @stashmcjammin
    @stashmcjammin5 жыл бұрын

    Its real easy when you have 5000 dollar smoker

  • @FYMASMD

    @FYMASMD

    5 жыл бұрын

    Its even easier using a 300$ weber smoker. Crynaby loser. You dont even have a smoker pussy.

  • @benjaminpetersen5804
    @benjaminpetersen58046 жыл бұрын

    Pastrami isn’t from the Middle East it’s from ROMANIA

  • @chemicalmike646
    @chemicalmike6466 жыл бұрын

    looks really dry. even with all that fat!!

  • @tedschmitt178

    @tedschmitt178

    5 жыл бұрын

    chemical mike pastrami is supposed to be dry. It’s cured, after all.

  • @binaryhex502

    @binaryhex502

    5 жыл бұрын

    The tissue portions do look incredibly dried out. If it wasn't for the fat it wouldn't have any moisture.

  • @kamadok1d

    @kamadok1d

    5 жыл бұрын

    He cut it only 10 minutes after the smoke...

  • @GodHellfire
    @GodHellfire5 жыл бұрын

    that bread is lame

  • @Dunkaroos248
    @Dunkaroos2485 жыл бұрын

    Brisket is better

  • @zaverdragon1
    @zaverdragon16 жыл бұрын

    This isn't pastrami, this is smoked brisket....get outa eeya

  • @tedschmitt178

    @tedschmitt178

    5 жыл бұрын

    June and you’d be WRONG.

  • @SerpentLight213
    @SerpentLight2135 жыл бұрын

    Kind of looks like bacon!!!

  • @shlomofishel3457
    @shlomofishel34573 жыл бұрын

    No its not...it is not katzes . Besides basturma is dried and not smoked, not the same thing..nice try

  • @LowercaseKev
    @LowercaseKev7 жыл бұрын

    ohh just put those strips of pastrami into a hot pan with a little bit of butter just before it goes on the sandwich and Oh boy

  • @stevewitt7123

    @stevewitt7123

    6 жыл бұрын

    Butter? Go back to Wisconsin

  • @kmrenard
    @kmrenard8 жыл бұрын

    WOW! Sell out.. Can't believe you're using that blasphemous smoker!

  • @aaronwhite1786

    @aaronwhite1786

    8 жыл бұрын

    +Keith Renard He uses all sorts of smokers on the show. It's a show for the average person, not just targeted at people willing to sit and watch a smoker all afternoon.

  • @tedschmitt178

    @tedschmitt178

    5 жыл бұрын

    Are you serious? Or are you on crack?