Get a ”Real-Life” Clean & Tidy Home with
Stephanie from The Secret Slob shares her "real-life" advice for a clean and tidy home. If you struggle to keep up with strict cleaning routines and time management, then this podcast is for you!
As a Butterfly organizer, Stephanie has adapted the FlyLady's strict cleaning routine to fit her more laid-back style! Her gentle approach to home management is a refreshing change from the Pinterest-perfect expectations on social media today.
Watch The Secret Slob on KZread here: @TheSecretSlob
Visit her website here: thesecretslob.com/
You can find more Clutterbug content here:
Main KZread Channel: @Clutterbug
Website: www.clutterbug.me
TikTok: / clutterbug_me
Instagram: / clutterbug_me
Facebook: / clutterbug.me
#clutterbug #podcast
Пікірлер: 348
I have never related so much to two people.
@margaretc5679
Жыл бұрын
Me too!
@LifesAProject
Жыл бұрын
Same
@judysbakeryandtestkitchen1654
Жыл бұрын
Steph, I am a big fan. But I’m wondering if you’ve ever been diagnosed with ADHD. Because I’ve been diagnosed, and I’m a lot like you
@johnangelformby106
Жыл бұрын
Same here, I am just like this!!
@motalisa1
Жыл бұрын
Me too !
My dad used to tell me when I was going through the same thing He said twenty years from now nobody will know or care if your house is tidy But everyone will know and care if you paid attention to your kids:)
To me it doesn’t matter that the Secret Slob videos are not weekly. I just watch your 5x5 over and over again. So helpful, thank you
@marieschlatter9245
Жыл бұрын
Oh, 😮 that’s such a good idea! Doing something is better than doing nothing.
@annikawenzel2640
Жыл бұрын
Mee too 😂
@BelleResells
Жыл бұрын
glad im not the only one!
Does anyone else watch this video over every few months just so we can see Steph? I miss her so much.
@bjgoels
Ай бұрын
Is she not on anymore?
Great conversation! I’m so glad I raised my kids before social media. My mom was a stay at home mom with 3 kids and a maid. Our house was always clean and meals were on the table every night. It wasn’t Leave it to Beaver, but it was good. And then it wasn’t. My mom died just after I turned 16 and we moved cross country at the same time. So now I was the mom for a while, while we all grieved and then my dad remarried and we moved and they both worked and it was all so different. I married at 19 and had to learn to be a wife and keep house and cook while working full time. Later on we had kids and I had to learn to be a stay at home mom. Over the decades I found my rhythm, which changed as we moved several times and my husband traveled a lot. But I only had to worry about our family. I wasn’t looking at what fantasy or even real life people were doing on the internet. My husband and I just closed our business and retired and now I’m finding a new rhythm to my days. I’m not there yet, but it’s only been a couple of months. And I realize that even tho I watch both of you ladies and others like you, I’m not influenced by you. I’m old enough to just enjoy you for you, and that makes me happy. Thanks for your time and effort and content. It’s all so fun and entertaining. I would rather watch KZread than TV these days. At least I learn things as well as being entertained.
@LilCraftyNook
10 ай бұрын
Blessings to you and your hubby on your retirement!! 🎉You have sooo earned it dear lady!!❤
“Rhythm instead of routine” is inspiring and comforting. Thank you.
@amethystrocks6433
Жыл бұрын
That caught my ear, too! I love it! It's my new approach!
Be unapologetic about your kids making noise in the background. I follow a cooking channel and you hear her kids in the background and see them walk buy. Nobody cares, you are a real person with a real family and people will love to see transparency so we know we are not alone. Thank you ladies for all you do
I heard a great quote in the Clutter Chronicles. "Be ruthless with your environment and gentle with yourself "
Steph is not just a role model but also a friend in my opinion. She’s very very real and just wants to help others do it the way that works best for you.
I love Steph’s channel. She’s the one who introduced me to FlyLady. AND, she also taught me to adjust it to my lifestyle. Also, Slob Sisters is a great podcast. I looked forward to Steph and Jill’s stories at the end. So funny!
Loved the conversation between the Secret Slob Steph and Cass. Great show ladies. Please do this again.
You're not "doing everything a little crappy", you are satisfying the task. Less perfection doesn't mean terrible. It means it's done, and good enough IS GOOD ENOUGH.
I love both of you and Diane in Denmark too!!
This video has to be the best one that I have ever heard. I am a struggler with life and having it together at all. I don’t have it together at all. I have tried to get my home clean and to be completely organized, but I’ve never succeeded. I know that I am very hard on myself. I see how others are able to have clean homes and to be organized - this is the desire of my heart. I have tried Flylady, but since I am not a structured person it just did not work. I have printed off different cleaning schedules, but have not been able to keep one. I have tried planners, but to no avail. I am lost as to what to do. Oh, and I am a Cricket. Though I am a detailed person in parts of my life, but unfortunately not in my entire life. I look at my life (I am 66 years old) and feel that I have no value, but rather I think of myself as a mess - I am being brutally honest here. I also have major depression so this makes it even worse.
@elanabiggs1501
Жыл бұрын
I was feeling like this a year ago. I had too much stuff in my house to organize and I couldn't figure out how to get started. I had way too much stuff in boxes and tubs that I couldn't bring myself to get rid of. Then I heard someone say find one thing in your house that you really don't need and won't ever use and put it in a box marked for donations. That was on May 1st. So I did it. Then on May 2nd I found 2 more things to put in donation box. On May 3rd I added 3 more items to box. On May 4th I added 4 more things. May 5th, 5 more items were added to donation box. By then I had found 15 items I was able to part with. I was on a roll. I continued doing this for the whole month of May. It was something I could accomplish little by little, day by day. By the end of May I had filled several donation boxes and gave them to someone who needed them or knew someone who did. It felt so good to accomplish such a big task one day at a time. I'm still on this mission of getting rid of stuff day by day. Some days I just spend 15 minutes doing it and other days I spend several hours. I told a friend what I was doing and she started doing it too. We became encouraging partners. Sharing what we had accomplished each day and encouraging each other. Hope something I said might help or encourage you.
@eraber6738
Жыл бұрын
You have immense value that isn't performance-based or perfection-based (fellow perfectionist here!). Your value comes from God, who created you with love and intention. I think we just have to try to give ourselves grace, pick up tips and strategies that work for us, and ask for help when we need it (I have done counseling multiple times to help me through different struggles). Sending love and prayers for you! ❤
@stephaniec.5851
Жыл бұрын
You don't need a perfect house to be a good person! You sound like a total sweetheart, just overwhelmed. Try watching a Dana K. White video--she's the right person to help you get started
@beckyfischer7025
Жыл бұрын
@@stephaniec.5851 Thank you very much. You are correct in that I am overwhelmed.
@beckyfischer7025
Жыл бұрын
@@eraber6738 Thank you so much. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow so I will discuss this with her.
I love this conversation between you two! I think my favourite tip was Steph talking about knowing what she’s doing “next” instead of pressure to do things at set times on set days.
Love Diane in Denmark! I found her and Clutterbug at about the same time. She is as endearing as you are Cass. She talks about Hygge, the fly lady and her life in Denmark. She's very inspiring... just like you Cas. ❤️ Keep up the good work and I'll be watching the all day declutter tomorrow. Love and light.
@jejrstans
7 ай бұрын
"Rah! Rah! Rah!!" 😀
Having a rhythm rather than a routine is a good way to put it for people like us Cas, who bristle at being told what to do, even by ourselves 😄
This was refreshing!!! 😮💨😌💕 My new mantra, It’s okay to do everything a little crappy so you don’t drop important balls! 🥳
CAS, I was so excited to see Steph on your show! STEPH, so glad to see you. You made the difference in my home and my life. I hope you will continue your videos but if it is not right for you, you should not. I am 69 years old, never had any kind of household routines except to do everything at the weekend. Even after I retired, I still didn’t have a routine until I found Steph. Those printables were so helpful. So, to the both of you, YOU are the best!
I am a BUTTERFLY and so so relate to all of this! Cass it’s not just you. I throw over the covers of our bed sometimes. I don’t have a cleaning routine. My brain just can’t. I’ve tried so so so hard for follow something and I just can’t and I feel like a failure. But I do clean a lot and pick up. I just do what needs done the most. And I have to accept that there is clutter. I have 4 young kids and I work part time. I have more of a routine for me then my house…. Getting myself ready is a huge key for my mental health. I have had post pardom and anxiety after kids and I just don’t do well with any extra overwhelm! Oh my gosh I truly have never heard all of this from anyone. I thought I was just not good at homemaking and too scattered. I’m just super creative and I have lower energy and I’m sensitive so I think I need less stuff I’m my home!
Steph and Diane were my life raft 4 years ago! Then I found you, the Minimal Mom and the Frugal Fit Mom! All of you changed my life...thank you so grateful! Great interview!
I just love Diane from Denmark too!!!
I really enjoyed having you both collaborate, such lovely ladies with a great message. I have a blackboard on the kitchen wall and on it I write the next task I need to do. Whenever I wander off to do other things or get lost in thought, I "come to myself" and think "Wait, what was I doing?" Cue looking at the blackboard and resuming the necessary task. I write almost every task on there, right down to "coffee" when I have told my husband that I will make one for him because I have so often remembered an hour later that I ground the coffee and then wandered off to do other things!
I love Diane from Denmark! She would be a awesome Clutterbug interview.
@mariemcfly9490
Жыл бұрын
YES! ❤
@thatswhatisaid8908
3 ай бұрын
She really would! I love her too!
Two of my favorite KZreadrs together!!! 🎉😊 Steph helped me finally get a handle on the FlyLady’s methods with lots of personalization. I finally have a handle on my home and routines. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart ❤️
Cas, Steph & Diane is three of my favs ❤❤❤
Love to Steph from a fellow butterfly 🦋!!!! She is the second KZreadr I started to follow after Dawn the Minimal Mom on my decluttering journey!!
It's a fine line between inspiring people, and making people feel like inadequate failures. You two inspire us to keep trying to do better, while not making us feel guilty for being 'normal'. I also love Dianne in Denmark. ❤
I love both of your authenticity. We do put so much pressure on ourselves. We often compare our insides to other's outsides.
@kenlee-tamarafriesen4208
Жыл бұрын
And yes, Diane of Denmark is a truly amazing person. She is so good for my mental health, too!!
This was therapy! Thank you. This is me. I need to learn to accept how I function and not be so down on myself about it. And just find what works for me to get the results.
My mother had a little sign in her Kitchen. “ Come is sit down convers, my house doesn’t always look like this, some days it’s even worse. “ I so agree , If your coming to see my house don’t bother coming, I’m to busy to waste my time with you. I’m 66, my mother always prioritized us kids..she always had time to teach us a new card game. Play horse shoes, croquet, or badminton, or softball. How about fishing. I remember my childhood with joy, lots of love. 😊❤❤❤. Stuff doesn’t bring you acceptance, inner peace, contentment, Love.
LITERALLY my two favourite KZreadrs together…. You are both so nice and real and FUNNY. you’ve kept me going for years THANK YOU. Btw🇬🇧 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 GOD SAVE THE KING 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 🇬🇧 🇬🇧
Yay! Two of my favorite KZreadrs!!!🎉❤ What an honest, endearing encouraging, and practical conversation. Thank you, Cass and Steph.
I’m enjoying my pets in my clean uncluttered and tidy home while listening to you. ❤
No one knows their personal limit of seeking perfection until they reach it, …disfunctional. 🙂 Just like no one knows their “clutter threshold” until they achieve it. There’s no such thing as perfect in this realm. 😉
Sweet update. I have missed her while she was on hiatus! I also discovered Diane in Denmark a while ago based on her recommendations.
I absolutely loved this collaboration. Yes, Steph is so real. I love watching both of you ❤❤
I love youtube and all the great info i get from it. However, i wish i could just get a message out to all the youtubers that when you create/stage perfect scenarios and lives to inspire us normal people, you are hurting us and yourselves as well. You are putting the pressure on yourselves and on us. Maybe if there was some more transparency we would ALL be better off. If someone scrubbed their bathroom sparkling clean but was honest enough to say, but look...i didnt get my kitchen clean because im a real human with other responsibilities.. i think that would be so refreshing! Sorry for the rant. And i love both of you...i have learned so much from you two ladies.. Im just callimg for real life and real honesty I think that would be the best way to inspire!
I don't know how mom's today do it. There are so many things you are supposed to do for your children and if you don't do them all you feel like a failure. I am a grandmother now and am so glad I did not have that pressure when I was a young mom. When I was raising my daughter, you were supposed to be a success in your career and keep your house clean. Kids came last. Just a different type of pressure. I look back and regret some of the times that I did not spend with her. Luckily, I got a chance to go part time when she was in high school so I made up for the times I missed when she was younger. I am back working full time but it is easy now, just me and my husband and he is pretty tidy. You can look forward to having enough time to fold your tea towels when you become a grandparent 🙂 You are both doing great and don't let anyone tell you you aren't. Enjoy the time now and don't try and do everything or you will look back with regrets.
Love you all! Yes to Fly Lady via the wonderful Diane in Denmark! And customize loosely. I think that I, too, may be a butterfly.
When you follow FLYLADY you are a fly baby. Not just a follower. I have been a fly baby for many years and find her systems freeing, not constricted. I did not use the control journal but I also use my iPhone calendar. Years ago Marla developed a digital app. She helped me to get my house clean long before I decluttered. Funny I just glossed over the declutter for 15 minutes a day. Now I’m getting it all out! Still do 27 fling boogies! A lot of lingo and systems came from Marla-just freshened up. Thanks Cas for all you do🥰
I put all of my papers in a box labeled with the year too!! I hate filing. You ladies are my people! Where have you been all my life???
Diane in Denmark is fantastic! So are y’all!
Yep, Diane in Denmark , I also found her at a really low depression time and she is so kind and lovely ❤
Omg the phone reminders! Yaaaasssss!!! I literally, just last night for today, needed a reminder NOT to eat for some lab work I was having drawn today at lunch time. I’m a butter coffee fanatic so this was the second time I scheduled these labs because my lizard brain out butter in my coffee and I drank it before I remembered the first time. 🤦♀️
Yes, Diane is awesome. Love you both!❤
Love Diane in Denmark too!! I use her and your version of FlyLady, laid back, small tasks, make it mine…and that has saved me!!😊
I love the fly lady system as taught by Diane in Denmark, and Steph. I do it in a very flexible modified way. It just provides a framework that keeps me from feeling overwhelmed or depressed. I couldn't even read all the stuff on the fly lady website, way to much. Diane in Denmark is really encouraging about modifying the system for you own needs.
I actually found Steph thru Diane in Denmark. Cas, you need to watch this great cheerleader! Thank you, Cas and Steph, for this wonderful video! Love to you both!
The honesty of this discussion is so refreshing ❤
I had to make a priority list and always do things in the same order whenever I clean: dishes, surfaces, tidy, floors, laundry, trash. Otherwise I find myself washing my walls or reorganizing a closet while there are cheerios on the floor and dishes in the sink
Yay! I'm SO glad to see Steph join Cas! Steph was one of the first KZreadrs i started following and the first cleaning channel. I have multiple health issues and I really felt defeated that i couldn't balance and manage everything. "Progress not perfection" and the idea that anything done is better than nothing and good enough, working on small pieces at a time -- i needed to hear that so badly. I have missed my internet friend dearly during her hiatus but I'm glad she was putting herself and her family first! ❤
I've heard about the channel Secret Slob but never watched it so I must say....I love the vibes! Very positive person.
I always say that I have 2 gears: overdrive and park. Health issues ensued, of course. Learning how to find a different gear has been a challenge. I was sick yesterday, but somehow, I got 4 loads of laundry done! Cass did that and Take Your House Back. Systems work and don't feel like much work WHEN we find the one that works for us at this time! Denmark lady is the one, I think, that taught me about banana water for plants! I was never a plant lady, but now, wow, I have beautiful plants!
This is why I love Cass and Stephanie! You both are so honest and real-life. Keep on being you.
Loooved this vid!! It’s the combo that I didn’t even think about but love! Steph @TheSecretSlob and Cass @Clutterbug, can I just say you both make the world a better place and my heart happy- happy fabulous Friday to you both 🎉❤
Much love to these two ladies. You've both brought me joy as I watch your journeys. Thank you!
Luv U both... and I appreciate this more than you can know. I'm 70 yrs old & I never learned how to take care of myself until recently. I'm also a Butterfly. I've learned to put myself 1st, but I still do it with guilt. With my husband & a very (use to be friend) good friend. I'm tired of the one that carries the whole load! I also learned that I am being used by this friend, so I just quit being that friend one day. It will all come together. Thanks Cass & Steph! ... Glenda ps... luv Diane from Denmark :)
Raising my hand a thousand times with both of you 🙋🏼♀️🙋🏼♀️🙋🏼♀️ I’m a butterfly and messy and all or nothing, list maker, not structured etc but yet I’ve found a routine that works for me, I made up my own routine. Majorly decluttered my home has helped. Having less stuff to put away makes me less messy. Thanks for this 💜
Phone reminders are lifesaving !!
I couldn’t do fly lady. I really like her and have learned a lot from her. Especially when I feel overwhelmed I clean my sink and it can get me going and pick up momentum. But, some days I don’t make it past cleaning my sink. When I was raising my daughter I did have a strict cleaning routine without problems.
One of the best things in be come across in a while.
I love the Secret Slob because she is soooo real.
I love you Steph and am SO glad you came back!! 🥰👏🏻 thanks to both you amazing ladies for sharing your stories and your tips!! ❤️
Yes Diane in Denmark is GREAT
Putting appointments in your phone with one or two day reminders! OUCH! So me.
This is the Best video I've ever seen and heard. You ❤️ two have helped me so much! By the way I am 71 and still trying to have anyone come to my house! I have been doing flylady, and I love her and Diane from Denmark. Thank you both 💓
I schedule appointments straight away on my cellphone and then add reminders for 1 hr, 2hrs and a day before 😁
When my friends say I’m so sorry about my house being messy, I say, well, I see this is weighing on you. How about we go though and clean it real quick so this weight won’t be on you? I don’t mind it. Then we clean and that person feels better and so do I in that we can chat. I feel it’s important to help each other, be a community. I’ve seen my friends suffer from the stress of dirty houses. Having someone to help helps a lot!
You both have said so much s that is so similar to the way I feel. I also love Diane from Denmark. Life is very complicated. I'll be watching Slob sisters and secret slob. I have a few simple rules I'll share... even despite how hard we work. Our mental emotional health always should come first. Thank you both for the reminders. ❤
For me to be effective un getring things done I need write down the things i want to do , then the order I want to accomplish the items in. As I am carrying out the things I want to do I will take breaks as necessary, edit my order of getting things done if necessary, and even add something or 2 if it seems practical. Im very grounded normally. That truly helps to stick to my goals. And as long as Im working on my own, I will accomplish what I set out to do. Its very satisfying.
Thank you both for a great interview. Cas, when you said "When someone expect me to do something then I don't want to anymore" and Steph quiped "Maybe you're a rebel"... Well, let me quickly blow your minds. Gretchen Ruben (from The Happiness Project) wrote a book called "The Four Tendencies", where she explains the different ways people respond to internal and external expectations. There are 4 combinations, and around 18% of the people in her survey fell in the Rebel category where people respond aversely to internal and external expectations. So Cas, you really are a Rebel 😂. Sounds like Steph may be an Obliger, since accountability (external expectation) is a big motivator for her.
I LOVE The Secret Slob!!! Steph is so REAL!! And so much like me!!! Soooo glad she's finally back!!!!!
Stef's 5x5 is everything. ❤
Rhythm > Routine so smart! bc you have issues being told what to do, even when it's you yourself asking for the favor 😅 so relate!
I make a small list of things to do on one side and a done list on the other side. I like checking off all the little things I do, such as making my bed, feeding the dog, dishes etc.
Since I took your quiz, and came up a Bee & Butterfly, as I've been decluttering, and reading & watching your videos, etc, I am seeing that I'm more Butterfly than Bee in a lot of ways. Altho, the two are very similar. This was a great podcast! I have followed Steph before. I know her style and lifestyle. I like the way Steph talked about using a loop when cleaning during the Getting Organized HQ! That was how I was feeling! It makes so much more sense. I was just calling it rotating for myself. Same thing. Lol Great conversation ladies! 👏 👏 😊❤️
Wow! I relate to this talk so much! I recently went through that same feeling guilty of saying “yes” to everything. I have to say no sometimes.
Even fly lady tells you to only add one habit at a time. I love the idea of just rotating the zones on your schedule..I don’t do that but I like it. I do have am and pm routines that are remote control. Bed is the folding table so making it is done so morning load a day can happen.
The paper work for the year is a really good idea
Great job ladies! You helped a lot of people today. I am also a Diane and Denmark fan! I went all the way to Copenhagen from Colorado because of her!❤
So excited to see Steph! Yes - I’m fan-girling just a little. 😊
a BUTTERFLY here LOL. I LOVE your channel!
I couldnt do fly lady either, but i kept "Dress to shoes" and i turned it into "ready for anything". Im a sahm, and i was so lost, drowning, but dress to shoes made a huge impact on me. That principle all by itself gave me the structure I needed to start. With it, I built a routine, and on top of that routine, I added a daily project or two. A rhythm !!!
Wow ladies! Needed to hear this today …. A little bit counts! And the online photos of perfection are complete crap lol! Thanks for being so real!!!
Diane and the secret slob saved my life thank you so much and I also love clutter bug brilliant idea for doing this pod cast love you all ❤❤❤
SO glad you two have met. I've watched Steph for 4/5 yrs now and love her down-to-earth realism about her life. And Cas, your words, and your humour, ring in my mind whenever I am streamlining my home. I am a lifelong cricket who has struggled with butterfly adult son and husband. Knowing why they do what they do, has helped me to understand them and guided me to change some of the storage and processes. Thanks so much ladies!!
Thank you!!!!! I have tried for years to do it all and not been able to maintain it which then makes me feel like crap. I can relate to all that was shared and I do not feel alone. Your transparency just gave me motivation to keep doing something and understand why I do what I do is normal. Sending BiG love ❤️ for letting us into your world.
Love Diane in Denmark!! And you two gals too!!
I love Cas and Steph!
You guys are both great at helping us learn routines and organization. I love FlyLady bc she teaches "progress over perfection". "We are not behind", and "cleaning "imperfectly" still blesses your home". We just always think we have to be perfect at everything and set impossible standards for ourselves. I LOVE Steph's Power Hour timer with and without music! I also love that we can take a piece from everyone's playbook until we figure out how to make our own. You guys are human and have lives and families and need and deserve to take breaks just like everyone else♥
Listening to you girls I've come to believe that I have ADD. And have struggled keeping it all together. When other people look like their all together and I have never had it together. I say what you see is what you get. Try not worrying about things so much. Thank you for describing your life.
Cas and Steph, I honestly can’t ty both enough for being so real! You guys actually tell the truth! This podcast is over the top! ❤Linda, Pa.
Totally agree with Secret Slob!!!
I'm so excited as I follow you both, as I'm also a butterfly and once I understood that, my life changed ❤️
Cass, this was the first time I've heard you say that you're the sole breadwinner. I thought your husband worked. As the kids say, 'mad props to you!'.
@ClutterbugPod
Жыл бұрын
Awe, thanks! He used to work, but he lost his job during Covid
@twelvesmylimit
Жыл бұрын
@@ClutterbugPod I'm so sorry, Cass. That's a strain. I hope things work out for him however you both want things to go, whether that's another job for him or him becoming part of Clutterbug.
Love you both so much! 💕 Thanks for always keeping it so real!!
So refreshing to say “come see me how I am” messy or neat. I honestly don’t care if a friends house is a mess or not. It makes them comfortable to be around when they relaxed with themselves not having to be perfect with their friends.
33:17 this: am I really helping people if I’m not sharing my struggles too! Yes!
FlyLady and a website with a name :messies anonymous- or something like it🤷♀️were my first life line when I was drowning- over 15 later still a struggle but along the way now I found Cas and Dawn and Diane - and some more I pick from each whatever works for me - making great strides on decluttering- but living alone now - chores are done usually on a as needed basis- super clean or a mess lol - love Cas❤