How to turn a traffic ticket into a felony arrest.

@quasarsavage

4 жыл бұрын

Yep

@chrisstevens5165

4 жыл бұрын

Get fucked bootlickers. What would the felony be littering or disorderly conduct.

@Howtokillacop420

4 жыл бұрын

Fuck you and fuck your felony

@Shastavalleyoutdoorsman

4 жыл бұрын

Got some BMF's on this thread. You two sound like you've never dealt with cops. Not only will you get arrested but the cop will probably fuck you up some. It sucks and it's bullshit, but it's reality.

@chrisstevens5165

4 жыл бұрын

Shasta valley outdoorsman heres a lil taste of reality for ya kzread.info/dash/bejne/fqempZeKhsK_osY.html

I bought this speedometer and I'm using all of it.

@olddognewtricks5879

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@paulzammataro7185

3 жыл бұрын

😲

@meetroushan2727

3 жыл бұрын

I paid for the whole speedometer I'll use the whole speedometer

@elonmusk9697

2 жыл бұрын

As a german, I can actually do that :)

@derPetunientopf

2 күн бұрын

@@elonmusk9697 Been there done that. Luckily it didnt go very far otherwise i would have needed a steeper hill on the highway.

You're a public servant....get me a glass of water!

@UpTheIrons76

5 жыл бұрын

I believe George got that from an Abbot and Costello routine lol

@anthonythorp7291

4 жыл бұрын

Back in the day it was You a public servant? Yes. Good, check my oil.

@FlexBeanbag

4 жыл бұрын

@@anthonythorp7291 kzread.info/dash/bejne/dKGXm7B_lsveZ5c.html

@malcolmmeer9761

4 жыл бұрын

Used to be a deputy sheriff. Loved when some wiseass spouted I pay your salary. I would come back with I'm boing a hellofagoodjob aren't I. How about a raise

@daffyslooney2867

3 жыл бұрын

@@malcolmmeer9761 Not bad! Lol

“ in my defense your honor the comedian clearly stated..”

@marias7599

3 жыл бұрын

😂

@jacksonharvey1225

3 жыл бұрын

S/o to Tosh

@thunderpooch

3 жыл бұрын

Cops are a complete joke, so you're utilizing good legal advice.

@Tortilla.Reform

2 жыл бұрын

@@thunderpooch completely true, it takes 6 months to be a cop but 2 years to be a hairdresser. And hairdressers don’t kill unarmed people or beat people in handcuffs

Did this to a policeman didn't go as planned

@DissidentRightClipper

7 жыл бұрын

Sushan Nakarmi were you black at the time of the incident?

@rlpd5218

5 жыл бұрын

George Carlin the king of comedy it's just that comedy you actually did it that makes you a moron

@shaunymcghee

5 жыл бұрын

RIP

@fairybits

5 жыл бұрын

lol!

@zeroserpico8174

4 жыл бұрын

Sushan Nakarmi be thankful he didn’t shoot you

Can't try this today the police might fear for their life

@Heisenberg355

4 жыл бұрын

@Lee St.Louis what's your solution to this? Hatred? Apartheid?

@crapjawkins7162

4 жыл бұрын

@@Heisenberg355 harsher punishment for cops, take their badge away, and don't let them work as a cop in another state. Unlike doctors who get caught for malpractice, cops can move to other states and get rehired.

@Heisenberg355

4 жыл бұрын

@@crapjawkins7162 isn't there some sort of investigation before the other state hires him? I don't live in the states, but I can't imagine another state just rehiring him without checking his background, and I certainly don't think a murderer would be rehired. You even have trouble getting hired when you were caught with a little weed :D

@Ki-yg1ds

4 жыл бұрын

Heisenberg well if you were caught with weed 20 years ago you would be fucked but if you beat a man senseless while he was restrained you would get put on PAYED leave and than switched to another department

@masaaguilar8126

3 жыл бұрын

Jeffery Wain Color has everything to do with it.Stop being so fucking ignorant.

Tip to get out of a ticket. Have this playing on your radio when the cop is at your window. Mimic every movement George does as best you can.

@TheMarkoPoloProgram

7 ай бұрын

Won’t work if you’re a minority 😂

@dianahohimer1107

7 ай бұрын

😂

When I get pulled over last week the cop asked me if I know why he pulled me over I looked him dead in the eyes and said because it's your job He laughed and gave me a warning ticket😂

@seanm7539

3 жыл бұрын

Yeah let me try some shit like that and see what happens

@JargonMadjin

2 жыл бұрын

@@seanm7539 And then Sean spent 9 months in jail

@derPetunientopf

2 күн бұрын

Thats polite enough to maybe work.

I have an uncle Al. He's allergic to cops. Whenever he talks to one he breaks out in handcuffs.

@powerpc127

3 жыл бұрын

I have an uncle Bob. He's a magician who's also allergic to cops. Whenever they try to arrest him, he breaks out of handcuffs.

@ebutzek1

3 жыл бұрын

Horrible, horrible one-liners.

One of the best skits he has...Damn so glad I saw him live around 10 times. He was the BEST!!

@balance5216

3 жыл бұрын

Jealous.. My favorite comedian but never had the pleasure.. Wasn’t born until 94’

@mydarktwistedsoul

2 жыл бұрын

Lucky You are!

@zirak93-2

2 жыл бұрын

@@balance5216 Same in a different country. He was dead when I found his epic Religion is bullshit video.

@sasquatch2753

2 жыл бұрын

I love george but he ripped off Abbott and Castillo about civil servant and water.

@insidiousmaximus

7 ай бұрын

You can't count the amount of times you saw him and it wasn't even more than 10?

Had a cop say after pulling me over for speeding ...97 in a 55 zone "I was waiting for you all day"...my response "I got here as fast as I could "he laughed and immediately wasn't amused

"Sir, can you tell me your name?" "Don't it say on my license, mang?"

@joesmithguide

3 жыл бұрын

tom bickers yea Pedro Depacus, that’s me that’s my name.

Big asterisk - do not attempt if black.

@jonhenderson8113

3 жыл бұрын

Yes, please do

@markmccarty727

3 жыл бұрын

They'll kick the shit outta you matter what you look LIKE. Can show you the receipts from impound yards where they had my brothers CARS towed as they Bounced his ass in jail for being an idiot. He cannot help being and IDIOT!! Has paperwork to prove he can't help being an idiot. Stop thinking you've cornered that market just because of race. It's 2020, cops will f$#,k with ANYBODY!!!

@anthonylesley982

3 жыл бұрын

Lol

@seanm7539

3 жыл бұрын

No do not ever

@Gondarth

2 жыл бұрын

I think George himself put it best. If you refuse to co-operate, Mr Policeman will beat you to death. Especially if you're not white.

To this day, the phrase "You asshole in a hat!" has got to be one of my favorite insults, bar none.

I’ve heard this skit well over a dozen times over the years and yet every single time I cannot help but burst out in gut-wrenching laughter when he says “.. You asshole in a hat!!”

Handling a cop in 2020 : What are ya gonna do, kneel on my neck ? *dies from 7 warning shots in the back* *ruled a suicide*

I was once behind a (former) friend of mine, driving out of a small city in my home state. The friend pulled over, so I pulled up beside him and asked if everything was ok. He had dropped a joint on the floor of his car and was looking for it. Just then this cop car comes screaming up, and this cop comes up to my window asking me (in an extremely aggressive way) what the hell I'm doing double parking. Just then my former buddy takes off, and I explain to the cop that I knew the guy who just took off, and had merely pulled up beside him to ask if everything was okay. He didn't seem to want to hear that. This guy was the BIGGEST asshole I have ever encountered. For 20 minutes he stood there calling me an idiot, a moron, every name in the book and telling me, "Don't worry, we'll take your car. We'll find a reason to" and just harassing and jabbing his finger at me. I knew exactly what he was trying to do: get me to take a swing at him. For about 19 of those minutes I sat there with my arms crossed, staring straight ahead, trying my damnedest to keep my cool. Finally, I said, "You're right. I must be a moron because here I am at two in the morning getting harassed by YOU for doing nothing wrong. Can we get on with this, please?" He scowled at me and took my license back to his squad car. I sat there for another HALF HOUR while this jerk made me wait it out. He saunters back, takes my license and literally throws it at me, tells me I came back clean, so get the hell out of here. No problem, officer. So the entire way to the interstate, about five miles away, this fucking asshole was right on my tail following me with his high beams on. He finally went on his miserable way when I got to the on-ramp. Here's the kicker: about ten years later I had the news on before work, and there was a press conference about some crime that had been committed. And there was Mr. Asshole Cop, now Chief of Police in the city. This over-aggressive jerk wasn't fit for traffic duty, never mind Chief of Police. He was the very epitome of abuse of police power.

@devilsoffspring5519

3 ай бұрын

Congrats, you met a psychopath with a badge. Tons of 'em out there. That's one of the primary reasons Americans have the right to be armed. On the other hand, your idiot friend shouldn't have been smoking joints while driving his car!

True story: Dropped a cd on the floor of my car,,,looked behind me, all clear, no one coming so I fumbled around to get it. BAM...out of nowhere I got pulled over. "I pulled you over because you were weaving" he said. "Weaving, sir I don't even knit" was my reply. I showed him the cd that I had fumbled for. "Uummm, good one, I have that album at home" he said. "Well, you have it now, drive carefully and have a good day" he said...and that was it. Very nice guy.

George Carlin was a comedy genius.

Where ever Mr. Carlin is I miss him. He might be "smiling down on us."

@jeremiahhenriksen1007

3 жыл бұрын

Or screaming up at us .....lol still love him lol

@paulzammataro7185

3 жыл бұрын

More like laughing...AT US...

@KennTollens

2 жыл бұрын

That was a funny skit

@jacobharman2010

2 жыл бұрын

He's not looking up, down or sideways ........ and he's certainly not laughing. Mr. Carlin cut through the bullshit like no one else, so let's please not disrespect one of the greatest to ever set us straight. Don't bring up religion like its cute or something. Did you learn nothing from the man?

@Lookimataco13

2 жыл бұрын

@@jacobharman2010 did u learn nothing that it's just a reference to a joke?

George just explained the whole modern Sovereign Citizen movement-in under three minutes!

@jomamma1750

4 жыл бұрын

Sovereign Citizen in a Totalitarian System. Now that is a fucking bargain there, count me in with both feet.

@thegreatluxor8807

4 жыл бұрын

Who'd a thought that the idea of sovereign individuals that Constitution and Bill of Rights defines and protects would come to be known as a "movement". If it's a movement then let's call it the "Sovereign honesty movement".

@ckom0007

4 жыл бұрын

Sugar Shane I believe the statement goes: “Never get down into the mud to argue with a pig. You’ll both end up filthy but the pig will like it...” Arguing with a sovereign citizen will only get you a very big dry cleaning bill.

@ckom0007

4 жыл бұрын

The Great Luxor The Great Luxor The sovereign society (‘honesty’...I have no idea what you meant by that) seeks to tear down every aspect of law that protects them(and us.) They are oxymorons. Laws exits to protect notions such as free speech, free assembly and property rights. The SCM simply work within the parameters of the law as long as it suits and serves them. They’re simply a bunch of barstool lawyers trying to justify their beliefs by using law as long as it helps their cause but drop out when law proscribes their behaviour or limits their defences. Sovereign Citizen Nuts are the best description that describes them.

@Tortilla.Reform

2 жыл бұрын

The only sovereign citizens are police considering they have qualified immunity for their crimes and close working relationships with the prosecutors who bring charges. And incredibly powerful unions/ the support of back the blue idiots

I made sure to ask, "AM I BEING DETAINED?" I am, in fact, being detained. Please advise.

@lovelylily1078

4 жыл бұрын

You have the right to remain silent, but do you have the ability???

@Heisenberg355

4 жыл бұрын

@William Hutchinson 😂😂

@andrewvelonis5940

3 жыл бұрын

How about "Well, you are NOW"

I watched this live back in 86 at the Trenton War Memorial. Still have the backstage sticker and ticket stub.

@davidmann8490

4 жыл бұрын

Yeah and this is from my favorite Carlin special: "What am I doing in New Jersey?"

I’ve had numerous policemen put a loaded gun in my face - I’ve never been to jail and I’ve never in my life gotten ticketed for ANYTHING! I know what the barrel of a gun looks like up close but never been a criminal. Cops huh

@rickdaystar477

4 жыл бұрын

I know what you mean. I was driving through Texas( Abilene,) and got pulled over for... NY plates! I" had to be a drug runner". The deputy walked up to my window that was open and placed the barrel of his pistol up behind my left ear! Turns out the idiot was a rookie looking to make a big drug bust. No drugs I was just " guilty" of having NY plates driving legally through Texas. Couldn't get the hell out of there fast enough.

@kylecoucke943

4 жыл бұрын

Rick Daystar it should be illegal to pull over cars because of the state on ur license plate. I’ve been pulled over too and the location on my plates was about an hours drive away. Lmao

@mattruth7109

4 жыл бұрын

Ive had a cop point a loaded weapon at me for "being suicidal." Ironic, isnt it?

@rickdaystar477

4 жыл бұрын

@@kylecoucke943 He told me a NY vehicle was "suspicious" in Texas... damned idiot.

@Bream243

4 жыл бұрын

@@kylecoucke943 It is illegal. they need a valid reason. Unfortunately they can easily make one up.

I tried this once. Good news: I got a boyfriend out of it! His name's Bubba. He stayed two cells over.

@thunderpooch

3 жыл бұрын

On the bright side, your farts are now silent.

@MrsHyde92

3 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@OatmealTheCrazy

2 жыл бұрын

@@thunderpooch actually probably the opposite as there's looser skin to flap around

@thisisanfield7085

15 күн бұрын

😂😂😂

this was my favorite bit from when i was like 13 and 8 years later i still crack up

@Kristinapedia

2 жыл бұрын

I heard it when I was 16...35 years ago. haha

@adrianghandtchi1562

Жыл бұрын

And five years later you are now 26.

@anthonylongobardo2623

Жыл бұрын

@@adrianghandtchi1562 thank you for bringing me back here for a laugh it still gets me to this day

@anthonylongobardo2623

Жыл бұрын

@@adrianghandtchi1562 also pretty sweet im still alive

When keeping it real goes wrong

Recently described to an officer how the percentage of people with psychopathic tendancies was between 1 and 3 % of general population.....and given that ' police officer ' was among the top 5 jobs pursued by psychopaths....then in all likelihood the % of psycopaths in policing was much higher than that of the general public....I also added that he may have psychopathic tendancies and didn't realize it.....my initial alleged infraction quickly turned into 6 charges totalling over 1,800 bucks....a very expensive point proven correct.....compliments of the Ontario Provincial Police in White River Ontario.....

@myronkroeker6877

4 жыл бұрын

You, sir are correct.

@zootopia8586

3 жыл бұрын

You are genius for writing this comment and I am not being sarcastic. Take care.

@vhandarsh51

3 жыл бұрын

F

@martinwalsh4820

3 жыл бұрын

You keep talking ill keep writing lol

@jamesmcnaughton9575

3 жыл бұрын

@@zootopia8586 hahaha....never been accused of being a genius before......but thank you

Keep in mind that George no-doubt would have found it hilarious to watch someone stupid enough to take this advice flopping around on the ground due to the excessive application of a taser.

@rohe4077

4 жыл бұрын

I think you assume too much.

@SentioBonus

3 жыл бұрын

You sound like the biggest piece of shit

@toamatau8785

2 жыл бұрын

You don't get it at all.

@dillon5155

2 жыл бұрын

@@toamatau8785 Nah, man. It's actually you who doesn't get it. Way to go!

@dillon5155

2 жыл бұрын

@@rohe4077 Except he's not assuming. He's right. Not very familiar with Carlin are ye?

This guy in a blue shirt is funny. Reminds me of George Carlin.

@rumor-936

3 жыл бұрын

@Travis Bloom same philosophy too!

@sergeantsilly-pantsjackson1942

Жыл бұрын

@@rumor-936 even similar voices!

Black folks this advice comes with a severe health warning.

@ciklopas598

3 жыл бұрын

*Life endangering

@emperorpalpatine1228

3 жыл бұрын

Maybe don't be a smart ass punk then? Ever try that? Seems like every time a Black person is killed by the Police, it's because they like to antagonize and play tough guy until shit gets real.

I followed this exact advice back in 1998 after getting pulled over for speeding...just got released last month.

Not only I'm watching a video from 7 years ago recommended by KZread without sleeping at 2am but also commenting on it

@MrOneanddone91

4 жыл бұрын

what if you oh man same

Shout out to my friend John! When the cop asked if he had a gun he said no i have 2🤣 he took a car hood to the head for that one while laughing🤣 because in reality he had none!

Love the live 80s scene, replete with Jersey feathered hair and mullets.

@aliceflores812

7 ай бұрын

Those were the days...

i really irked a cop, when he handed me the ticket to sign, i put on rubber gloves

@lovelylily1078

4 жыл бұрын

That is awesome. You are awesome!

@bridgettebianchi9315

4 жыл бұрын

I know of bailiff that does that.

@marias7599

3 жыл бұрын

Lol

@hobbypyromane2.05

3 жыл бұрын

Normal practice now with corona

@BentReality.369

3 жыл бұрын

You must be psychic. 2020.

This was arguably his best special imo, or at least in the top 3 I think

Omg. I love George Carlin

I tried this but forgot I'm not white. My funeral is next week in Everton Gardens, all welcome.

@dani3lson998

3 жыл бұрын

......oh my.....im going too hell......."But forgot I'm not white" 😂

@massageadventurist9804

3 жыл бұрын

Lucky for you Heaven doesn’t have too many whites or cops, but if you’re going to hell, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it’s all white people and cops down there. Hopefully he’s more like a kind human father, as those tend to be more loving and forgiving than the type of being that would want you to rot in hell forever. I’d hate to think God would give eternal punishment for the sins of a lifetime.

@conve5

3 жыл бұрын

😚

@tokiwartooth2661

3 жыл бұрын

Massage Adventurist despite making up

@prozacdick

3 жыл бұрын

1misanthropist ur not a misanthropist ur a fucking dork lmao

Man was so integrity fun as hell miss him if he was alive today the man would sell out every show he did

It's scary how many people don't get sarcasm or facetiousness.

Im 23 just found Carlin. He is funny because I do all the things he says just like here with the tickets. Some things just dont change. Man is a legend

"Get me a glass of water"

Miss you, George.

Wonder how many people didn't wait to hear that last part at the end ...

I love Carlins comedy, but I like his more philosophical and helpful tirades he goes on, exactly like this one

I talked about dogs, beagles specifically, one time with a cop that stopped me for blowing a red light at 60 in a 40. I thought I was royally fucked then he saw my dog and was like I love beagles.

Oh the comments in this are just wonderful as George Carlin's bit. Best laughs I had tonight. Thank you everyone... except from the pig headed cops who gave this clip a thumbs down.

Extortion from citizens should be a crime.

Here during the covid riots and protests

I love the energy with which George Collins deliver his jokes. Being a cop, the cop joke was crazy funny. I'm just imagining how to react if someone try to do that to me. Lol 😂😂😂😂

@Bh-hl8le

2 жыл бұрын

how would you?

@guitaristssuck8979

2 жыл бұрын

He would say "Huge Carlin fan, uh?"

Dislike is probably a cop

@hippiecheezburger5457

5 жыл бұрын

John smith lmao definitely

@antygoniusz

4 жыл бұрын

yea fuck that dislike button, I bet he's a pig! Unimaginable.. Dislike buttons these days I tell ya!

@nunyerbidness6417

4 жыл бұрын

most cops understand the irony. The downvoters are one or two of the very few of the sovtards that might just have the intelligence to know what irony is.

@MrsHyde92

3 жыл бұрын

And Government!!! 😂😂😂

Meanwhile 3 other units are on the way and possibly SWAT when you mention drugs.

Im so happy stand up comedians are getting better and better with time. Not to say all comedy ages well, some comedy ages like bread

This guy is brilliant.Sarcasm at its finest.I'm sure the morons he's referring to through his sarcasm wouldn't get it.

WARNING: Don't do this while black.

@JasonTaylor90210

12 күн бұрын

😂

DL Hughley "that don't work for us" 😁😁😁

Please don’t try this if you’re black. You won’t just go to jail. No, seriously. I sure miss George! ❤️

@hinjurock

3 жыл бұрын

George Floyd?

@comediancorinne866

3 жыл бұрын

This also doesn't work if you're Mexican.

"You're a public servant. Get me a ... BEER."

1:22 he sounds like Al Pacino in Scent of a Woman

@jimbronson14

3 жыл бұрын

HOOOOOOAH

@jpsned

3 жыл бұрын

@@jimbronson14 Ha!

The opposite of "How to not get shot by the police"

I was driving an 18-wheeler onto a military base about 10 years ago and they make you jump thru all these hoops because of 9-11. They literally X-rayed my entire truck *twice* (once when I arrived, then again after they checked it out and the pilot car arrived to take me to where I was delivering) in a big machine they have. They checked under the truck with mirrors, looked inside my cab & the trailer, etc. Then they asked a bunch of really dumb questions from a checklist they are given from some dumbass bureaucrat in Washington. Well, I was pretty fed up when Sgt. Checklist asked me if I had any guns or explosives in the truck. *_Oh Yeah, the truck is full of them!_* Sgt. Checklist just scowled at me but his buddy was laughing.

The audience are all hootin and high fiving, in the mean time, this is pure sarcasm.

@zillafire101

4 жыл бұрын

George absolutely stated his hatred for cops elsewhere. He called the rat bastards, traitors and disgusting creatures. This is just a small peak at his disdain.

@tacbird3059

4 жыл бұрын

@@zillafire101 What is your source? This is still clearly sarcasm regardless. Most people are too stupid to see that. But I'm curious if you know what you're talking about or not. Go ahead and post your source or i call BS on that.

@haleypeters1419

4 жыл бұрын

J A kzread.info/dash/bejne/Zot-wZeIpNzMdNI.html

@haleypeters1419

4 жыл бұрын

J A www.google.com/amp/s/ew.com/article/2016/08/24/george-carlin-police-bit/amp/

@haleypeters1419

4 жыл бұрын

J A TL;DR: “I’d rather spend 16 hours stuck in an elevator with a couple of crooks than even say hello to a f-in’ policeman. You don’t help the police. They’re not on your side. Don’t you understand this s- yet? They work for the state. They’ll plant fake evidence. They’ll put a loaded gun in the hands of an unarmed man they’ve shot to death. They harass minorities, they brutalize people, they deny people their rights and they lie about it all in court all the time.”

They say ur likely to survive a car crash drunk,once I heard that,I play it safe,I drink a few 6 packs before I get behind the wheel

Awesome love it, I think one day I'm just gonna do this I really mean it

@rlpd5218

5 жыл бұрын

Unless you want that visit from Bubba in the lockup I keep your big mouth shut

@arctrog

4 жыл бұрын

People don't pay attention to this man.

To protect and serve the 1%

@cujbaion1

4 жыл бұрын

And like was written on decepticon from transformers "To punish and enslave" maybe it's sounds cool but that's for us folks from served one's

They like that when you're interested in the state budget.

The KZread algorithm works in mysterious ways

@thatoldserpent851

3 жыл бұрын

Not as bad as those low budget video channels

One commentator said cops don't have a sense of humor. I was a patrol supervisor for 17 years, and that is ENTIRELY untrue. ...the only thing is that WE have to be the ones making the jokes. 😂

"Heyyyy.....don't I pay your salary? "

I recommend Chris Rock's How Not to Get Your Ass Kicked by the Police.

"You asshole in a Hat!" HOLY FUCK THIS GUY WAS A GOD!😂😂😂😂

Sounds like Pacino when he says: eight or niiiiiine

HE WAS WOKE BEFORE 2023! WE MISSED OUT! 😢

Dude was awesome

This is a great Paulie Walnuts impression. All due respect.

Here's how I got out of a ticket the last time I was pulled over... Cop asked me for my license... "I never got one. Driving a car is easy! It's NOT the friggin' space shuttle!" Cop asks for my registration... "I don't know where that is. I stole this piece of crap not an hour ago!" Cop asks if there is anything in the car he should know about.... "You mean like the two shotguns, the axe, and body in the trunk?" He was so flustered, he goes to his car, and calls in every cop within 50 miles!!! Including his boss, the sheriff!🤷 So the sheriff comes up to me, and asks for my license... "Yes sir. Here it is." Then he asks for my registration... "Yes sir. There you go." He asks me to open my trunk... Nothing there but spare tire, jack, toolbox, jumper cables, etc. He looks at me really weird, and says... _"Sir, my deputy told me you didn't have a license, that you told him you stole this car, that there were two shotguns, an axe, and a dead body in the trunk!"_ "REALLY???" I was aghast!!! "I bet that LIAR told you I was speeding too!" 😉😁

George is a legend ❤ RiP

"How to not get shot by a cop"

Maxim of law.. If one does not stan@nd on their writes h@$ none. He w@z a genius..w@rning all us fool$ and we cheered 4 him...😢😮❤

Thank you for uploading new clips of George. Been watching the same ones for months now. True our tax dollars pay Police salaries. I find it helps to get their badge number in case the cop pulls some shenanigans on you. Police chiefs and commissioners don’t like ‘bad apples’ in the force. Or bad press 😉

@OatmealTheCrazy

2 жыл бұрын

Police get good press? I literally think they don't care about optics when they let off anyone who's in the spotlight without any real penalty

The greatest ever.

That's why Carlin was a comedian not an attorney. If you challenge a ticket in court using a lawyer, one of the first things a good attorney will do is ask the cop when was the radar gun calibrated to ensure an accurate speed reading, and if the cop was trained in its use at the annual in service training.

Black people: my time has come

I was harassed and abused by the police who accused me of a DWI when I haven’t drunk any alcohol in months. My tire pressure was getting low so I had to pull over somewhere safe to refill them. The police were using every small detail about me against me in an attempt to prove my intoxication. They used a good cop/bad cop routine on me and dealt more with the bad cop. I kept telling him I wasn’t drunk and he kept denying it using my reactions to their scare tactics as “proof” that I was drunk or that I had something to hide. The only thing that saved me and proved my innocence was the breathalyzer test. After that, they couldn’t find anymore excuses to arrest me or charge me with anything so they finally let me go after 30 of dealing with them.

@cujbaion1

4 жыл бұрын

15minutes it's the limit in my country and probably in all Europe

@Tonithenightowl

3 жыл бұрын

Ahh details about you. I know when they stop you they run your plates and driver's license. Did these details put you in a bad light? I'm confused as to why they kept insisting your were drunk... unless you already had a DUI or alcohol related incident on the books.

@mattgieslerrocks

3 жыл бұрын

Tonithenightowl No. I never had a DUI on my record. I know better than to drink before getting behind the wheel. When I told my friends about the incident, they said that the university police that harassed me are the worst. Maybe they had bad experiences with them too.

@Tonithenightowl

3 жыл бұрын

@@mattgieslerrocks Forgive me I'm old. So you got stopped by Campus Security not local police?

Thanks for the info I am using it

What show is this, I’ve looked for it and can’t find it?

@LoveMaskedBandits

7 ай бұрын

In the description it says, What Am I doing in New Jersey.

So wait I don't get out of the car and yell world star 😂🤣😂🤣

Sovereign citizens thought this was a serious lecture

This was funny AF

GOLD!!!!!!!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥

Title should be "How to handle a cop - as a white person"

@FluffyBunny9002

3 жыл бұрын

According to our media, sure...

Yeah these days, in alot of places, that'll get you a bullet...good times...

I wish most white people were like George Carlin, instead of being bootlickers for the state.

@peterkropotkin6806

3 жыл бұрын

I fucking wish

It was pouring rain once and I flew past a state trooper going at least 20 MPH over the speed limit. The cop pulled me over and walked in the pouring rain up to my car window. He asked me "do you know why I stopped you"? I said "yeah, do YOU know why I was speeding"? 😆😆😆. Drew Carey! 😀

I miss flashes of the audience enjoying themselves at bars fist bumping to the standup

Okay do and say that!😆😆😆

I love Carlin but he was trying to get my ass beat here 😂

I love carlin!

Trunk full of Heroin! ROFL!!! 😜😂👍