Thank you❤ your words are always comforting

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

You are so welcome

Thank you for creating and sharing.

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for watching!

I love the attachment style - enneagram combo. I’m surprised 9s weren’t mentioned in this one. Maybe it’s just a couple of us but I’m definitely fearful-avoidant. It could be the sexual leaning for me but I crave the closeness one-on-one brings with someone but because of my childhood emotional neglect I’ve experienced, I swing to anxious attachment when I’m away from the person & avoid when I feel they are too close. It’s very hard. I’ve been working on being more consistent so I’m not absent for weeks or months from people but also not overly fawning over them too, if that makes sense.

@danasparkles8942

3 ай бұрын

Yeah I also found it interesting that 9s were one of the few types that weren't mentioned at all in this video (although he does say any enneagram can obviously have any attachment style) but im bow wondering if maybe there are more of us 9s with FA than we initially realised haha! Another thing we also have in common with this attachment style aswell is that we are part of the 'withdrawn group'. And as you said, some of our childhood experiences where we weren't always allowed to express our real feelings and were kinda taught to push them down, we have difficulty trusting letting others in to that level because it wasn't accepted from our caregivers as children.

@sassarific

3 ай бұрын

@@danasparkles8942exactly! Nailed it ☺️

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this. This makes sense.

I'm ENTJ, my enneagram is 8w7 but I have strong 4 and 7 in my tritype. I can totally relate when it comes to overreacting over the smallest things, whether it's relationships, work, or life in general.

@twlahue

13 күн бұрын

It's great to find someone who can relate to the struggles of overreacting in different aspects of life!

I'm a 7 ENFP and FA... I'm guessing this is quite common combo... The fear that drives the enthusiasm of the 7 translates to the pull aspect of the FA... the deep desire for closeness and passion although this intenseness, which can also come from a place of longing and fear of missing out in life. With these uncomfortable feelings never too far away if doubts emerge regarding the relationship this powerful emotional energy can quickly turn push. Not in a nasty way but a need for space and keeping my individuality in tact.... The loss of self in a relationship is a genuine concern and seeing all the possibilities like us NP's do we can soon see if we're likely on the wrong track. The drastic reduction in our belovid 'posbilities' and being led down the path on someone else's dream is what gets me personally to pull away. So my advice to myself is really try and figure out if the relationship can work long term before getting in too deep 😔

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely, understanding yourself deeply before diving in is key!

@isa-manuelaalbrecht2951

2 ай бұрын

I thought ENFP/ J are merely no 8...No 7 is ESTP/ J...😁😄🤣

@Andy-se4sl

2 ай бұрын

@@isa-manuelaalbrecht2951 wish I was mearly an 8 🤣

@Andy-se4sl

2 ай бұрын

@@isa-manuelaalbrecht2951 on one of Heidi Preibes websites there's a survey... Most ENFP's identified as 7s , enfj's as 2 , ESTP 7 and 8 and ESTJ as a 8... Tried to post the link as it's quite interesting... Although there's some anti link thing on these comments unfortunately 🤔 oh well... 😊 🌞🌈

Hi Tom, firstly thank you for making the video. I tend to find that anxious preoccupied and dismissive avoidant are more frequently talked about whereas fearful avoidant often gets missed, even though it comes with its own array of problems as you discuss very well! Im actually a 9w1 INFP with FA and I would say from an enneagram perspective theres lots of links here too, such as our core fear of losing people we love, especially if we were to 'take up too much space' or disrupt things, hence our 'peaceful' behaviours to avoid that happening and hoping people will stay around. Also, we disintegrate to the type 6 so those doubts begin to creep in.... Although, I think for me personally, even when I am feeling anxious and begin pulling away, unless theres been some huge arguement its not usually done in a big dramatic fashion- just Ill be more quiet/reserved, probably keep to myself more and put some space between us. An outside observer probably wouldnt see anything wrong on the surface, but the person would most likely sense some kind of subtle distance and detect a lack of warmth comapred to usual (and probably be left wondering whats up with that! 😅 im sorry- my bad!) Do you think this is a very '9w1 way' for it to come out?

@sassarific

3 ай бұрын

This is me too #9w1SX

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing this...

Thanks!❤

@twlahue

2 ай бұрын

You're welcome 😊

Very helpful thank you 🙏

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

You’re welcome 😊

Much appreciated! What do you think about using the enneagram as a tool for writing? I find it amazing. The stages of health are like little premade character arcs. You have internal motivations and drives too. Althogh the best part about the theory to me isn't the theory itself but just how many people find it useful and share their own thoughts. How they, induvidually, connect to it as unique person. I'm getting a broader sense of the many ways to exist and think and I love it so much. I find it invaluable and I absolutely love your videos. Much appreciated and have a wonderful day!

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely

Being sx9 and fa make sense

Plain and simple I wish I wasn’t a 4. Or an infj. Literally my whole adult life trying to practice patience love and acceptance for my vulnerable parts. At 58 yrs of age- so much therapy and diligence still feeling so much great and difficultly separating out of the fearful parts and finding capacity to love her.. Just sick of trying…

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

So sorry

Great words of wisdom. A quick question: do you think you could be highly reactive in your emotions/percieving threats but not act reactively? Also, I'd love to hear more from you about trauma!

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

Yes... and I will definitely consider more content on trauma.

I’m not an expert, but my feeling is that FAs are most likely to be Ones, Fours and Sevens

Could you do videos on bible characters of the bible or bible verses for each Ennegram!...? 😊🙂 Only if jesus and God tell you too do it or yourself want too do it

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

Will definitely consider this...

@LuisGustavoBD

3 ай бұрын

​@@twlahue Let me just hop on this comment and say that I'd also love to see you do this in the future!

@danaobrien3107

3 ай бұрын

Yes I’d love to hear that too please! Thanks Dr T!

2s are a huge category of FAs. Many were raised by narcissists and think they have to earn their worth by self-abandoning and people pleasing the narcissist.

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

At times, Yes

Hey hey Dr.Lahue can you do videos on the Instinctual drives and the different instinctictual drives stackings and be explaining their descriptions and talk about their names and how to be making stronger or strengthening the blind spot or weak area which is ur instinctial drive we put out of subconsciously or consciously! Talk about all things the instinctual drives based off the book by John Hitchucker called the Ennegram The instinctual drives the Instinctual drives are the most important part of understanding the Ennegram and our Ennegram type and which is our first Instinct "Self preservation Four for example for me" and what is your dominant second instinct and your third instinct which is your blind spot or weakness and the actions and works we need to do to be strengthening and make more improved in the blind spot or weakness area or our last instinctual drive. I believe everyone wants to be learning about the Instinctual drives or I believe that. I Believe everyone should know the instinctial drives!!!!!! Do whatever God and Jesus tells you to do and what you want to do. Hey Tom Jesus loves you God loves God bless Jesus bless have a great night and have a great day!!!! And I appreciate you for the Ennegram you know and put out your works and work and Wisdom and knowledge and Understanding and discretion and Discernment and common sense with applying the work we need to do to be crying with others in our community and in our relationships 1 on 1 and by ourselves and to do the Inner work! Have a Great day!!!!!! Thank you!

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

Thanks for the suggestion! I'll think about it. I will certainly consider this...

@Jesusfreak99614

3 ай бұрын

​​@@twlahue Thanks thank you Tom for your time and taking time out of your day commenting on my commemt. Have a good day and have a good night!!!!

Weird timing. I’ve been digging into my FA attachment style all week 😆

@twlahue

3 ай бұрын

That's awesome!