People shouldn’t assume 6s will be in your face with fears and needs, some of us keep it on the down low - especially cuz we know being needy pushes people away and that’s the last thing we want.

I’m dead 🤣. I’m a six and the “four steps away from being homeless” conversation is one we have on the regular.

@gingerconnoisseur7395

Жыл бұрын

I have barely started the video and that sentence hits home too hard :[

@Adm1727

Жыл бұрын

Lol me too

“Who funded that research” that’s so me😂

I love that my 6 partner is a champion for the less fortunate, and isn't afraid to speak up when he sees injustice. But he is quick to stand up for everyone but himself! I try to assuage his self-doubt by being matter-of-fact about his accomplishments and talents.

All the #9's in the comment section trying out figure out how to simmer down their #6 partners lol

@MrKendra1717

3 жыл бұрын

Why I’m here. #9

@honeymoney23

2 жыл бұрын

Lol. 9s can start with validation of our feelings and not trying to "calm" down or force us to be positive. Most 6s don't want you to FIX anything, we just want to be heard 🙂

@Violet_Odorata

2 жыл бұрын

Here here

@shynn5827

2 жыл бұрын

I guess i m one of them!

@evanMCCallister121

2 жыл бұрын

😅 your not wrong. I'm 9w1

While talking with my brother, I told him my greatest fear is that I could end up destitute. And he responded, “Yeah, Johnny. That could definitely happen with your doctorate.” Being a 6 (higher level of neuroticism) is exactly how you describe it!

13:14 Somebody: Hey. I have an Idea. Go up there/close your eyes/trust me Me(6): We don't do that here.

I'm a 6 who's actually been homeless several times so yes! I definitely identify with that whole "4 steps away from being homeless" mentality

I’m a six. What a pain in the @ss and exhausting my existence appears to be. Incredibly sad.

@clbemrich

2 жыл бұрын

Yes even Dr. Lahue seems to be biased against type 6. My type 5 husband made me stop watching because even he agreed it wasn’t good for me.

Yes, be reliable, supportive, honest and homy. Be willing to go into the dark forest, validate why we went there and help us find the way out. That is a good foundation where the relationship can grow. Buuuuut, don’t forget the fun, lighthearted, exciting and adventurous part!, especially for 6w7.

@empiricus2211

Жыл бұрын

My mind is fucked 😂, I read that ‘homy’ for horny

I’m a six. You nailed down so many things..I ask questions on questions to make sure i understand things going on around me. I also always have an exit strategy! Even in relationships, work and physical environments. I have a hard time making large life decisions, so i do a lot of research. And i definitely tend to scare myself lol. This video is great! Nice work

After a huge trust breach, my paranoia would get so bad I couldn't comfortably leave the house. Seeing myself become so irrationally scared of people jolted me to confront my fears. After all, only disease and road accidents are the only things to really be afraid of, statistically! Finally, no worries on any "scattered-ness." Thanks for continuing to create, Dr!

This made me laugh right out loud so many times I can’t even tell you, I’m a six and you nailed me down so well all I could do is hoot! I’ve listened to a lot of guys try to give some light on my type but none of them have even come close! Mind you, I’m over 70 years old, have done a lot of work and had a lot of healing but I can still relate entirely to those days when I was ruled by fear and suspicion. Thank you so much! I’m going to try to get some of my family to watch this because it will save me a lot of time explaining it for myself. May God keep on blessing us through all your hard work!

@twlahue

3 жыл бұрын

Glad the video helps. Thanks.

@helenbarnett6389

2 жыл бұрын

Nicer to have another "oldie" still trying to grow in their senior years. Late bloomers, huh?

@helenbarnett6389

2 жыл бұрын

One of the best friends I've eve r had was a 6/7. She was loyal, witty beyond imagination, writer, and able to point out my unhealthy acitions w/o being offensive. EVERYONE needs a friend like her. She's now with Jesus. God, how I miss her! unhealthy

@silviapisces3342

2 жыл бұрын

@@helenbarnett6389 another late bloomer here! All the things, that I went through, was it worth it? I have learnt a lot. Now I'm learning about myself and other people, thank you Dr Tom LaHue!

My husband is a 6w5 and I’m a 8w7 and we met in the Marine Corps😂 that’s so interesting and spot on you said that!

I didn’t know I was a 6 until recently! I joined the Marines right out of college. I always tell people that was my favorite part. Serving with the men and women beside me…brothers and sisters. A team to defend a cause!! So funny!!!! And I constantly felt insecure in my marriage…always questioning him. We really are annoying… 😂

37:40 I don’t say it like THAT, but being a 7 married to a 6 means that sometimes my “positive reframing” isn’t always the most effective way of alleviating her fears. I’ve learned over time to do your follow-up comments to this. Excellent video- I related to a TON of what you’ve said in this video, as my 6 is very much the prototype 6 described here in this video.

It's like your speaking to my core and know me better than I know myself. Thank you

I really resonate with the 'Hot and Cold' and 'Sweet and Sour' description, especially when I feel my security is threatened. It is really frustrating on the silence part as well.

Great video. I wish I had known my wife was a 6 two decades ago. Unfortunately, I'm a 3 and the combination has been very challenging. Can you recommend any resources just for 3/6 couples? God bless you!

This is amazing! I've been waiting for this specific video to come out. I can relate to this so well. It's like you're reading my mind. I'm going to share it with my friends and family. Thank you so much for making this video.

@twlahue

3 жыл бұрын

I'm so glad!

This explains a few strange happenings in my past really well! I love your humor and your heart for the types, and I can't help but want to recommend this video to the people I want to have understand me better! Thank you, Tom!

"Oh, I forgot to doubt!" Golden video and channel. Thank you!!:)

OMG sooo spot on! Even the phrases you said are exactly what my boyfriend says all the time, this is scary.

Just popping in as a friendly neighborhood 6w5 to say this video is so accurate. Just found your account and I'm subscribed, thank you for the great content! My partner is your type by the way! He is a 7w6, with a very loyal streak. This topic is so interesting to me.

Ahh so excited I was waiting for this video !!

@cappuchino_creations

3 жыл бұрын

Hahaha same here. Man... We 6's love to read our own manual, am I right? :D

This was super helpful. Thank you so much! Looking forward to checking our more of your content!

I'm in a relationship with a 6 and came here for exactly this insight. So helpful!

@Juniperberrie25

Жыл бұрын

Hope you don’t mind me asking. But does your 6 ever become cold/distant? And if so, how do you deal with that. My 6 goes from being warm and present to distracted and distant; and as a 4 who is constantly talking about feelings lol, it’s confusing and hard for me to navigate. I don’t know if I need to call it out. Or be patient.

@ANDROMEDAtheartist

Жыл бұрын

@@Juniperberrie25 I enjoy these questions! That's interesting. I'm not sure that I'd call my guy distant unless he feels anxious about my presence. I believe that if I show a lot of complex emotion, he might become pensive. It's almost as if he's afraid of saying the wrong thing and is waiting for me to make a more discernible move. That's my interpretation, of course. I'm a 5w4 INFP, so you could say that I show a lot of depth and emotionality that might seem confusing. I usually make sure that i vocalize a lot of my content with him. I say things like "i really appreciate how much you listen to me." or "I always feel better when we've talked/ couldn't do these things without you." I also initiate a lot of physical affection and it seems to calm him down a lot. I want him to feel valuable and he always loosens up. He's admitted to me that he feels he doesn't have anything to contribute to these "emotion" conversations. Always communicating our "status" seems to help with him, so I show a lot of affection and if I'm upset I'm very clear with him about it and why. That way he feels there's a rhyme and reason to my behavior. I have to say, we have an amazing relationship. I think a Type 6 is almost cute in their nervousness and endearing with their attentiveness. Most importantly, they are hardcore loyal and I never question that with him. It's amazing! Hope that helps

@Juniperberrie25

Жыл бұрын

@@ANDROMEDAtheartist thank you so much for this it’s very interesting and it’s lovely to hear you’re having such a fulfilling relationship. Unfortunately things didn’t work out with me and my 6 ☹️someone who started out very warm, close and consistent became suddenly very distant and standoffish; and when I leaned in to find out if there was anything wrong, I got a lot of mixed messages and inconsistent reasons, but from what I could gather, he wanted me to back off a bit but he wasn’t quite able to articulate it. Ultimately I ended things with him. And he was surprisingly upset and told me he didn’t want to end things with me, but at the same time, he said he didn’t know if he is a ‘relationship person’ or if he’ll ever be. I think perhaps it was a battle between closeness and autonomy- which I’ve heard can be an issue for some 6s. A very confusing and overwhelming situation for me. But hopefully I’ll find the right for me soon.

47:40 hahaha the amount of times my type 6 spouse has either ruined or sabotaged any surprise I’ve planned for her, omg. Or that she just didn’t love being surprised. Again, I’ve learned not to do this 😝

Please do a video on counterphobic 6 ...thanks!!!!!

As a 3 I can relate so much to the 6, this was a great video.

This is so me. Every time I take an Enneagram test, I’m all good over the place, but I so resonate with this video.

Dating a type 6 woman right now as a type 2 man... it's an interesting dynamic, and I see so much of what you discussed here. I love her sense of humor, I can see her anxiety but also her determination and assertiveness which I admire. I think she leans to the counterphobic side, as she's very decisive, independent, and is very successful in her career, but I can see the constant scanning for threats in the environment under the surface. Trust is very important for me too, and the steadfast love and commitment I feel from her is so fulfilling. We're both divorced, but younger - both of us settled in with our previous partners at a young age, before we really knew them or ourselves well enough. Both of us believe strongly in commitment and effort and know the importance of that in a partner, and are responsive rather than defensive to each other's concerns. Here's hoping we get it right.

@neena9202

2 жыл бұрын

How's it going?

@osiris0413

2 жыл бұрын

@@neena9202 Sorry for the delayed response, I saw this a while ago and was thinking about it! We're engaged now and will be getting married in a few months. :) Honestly, I had a sense of that early on haha. She is a wonderful woman and I feel very secure with her.

@neena9202

2 жыл бұрын

@@osiris0413 awe that's great to hear, thanks for the update!

@melaD333

27 күн бұрын

Thanks for saying so many positive things about her. We don’t hear that much positivity about 6s around here…

I'm a 6 and you nailed it. Truth telling. Married a calming 9.

@lem5496

2 жыл бұрын

I’m a 9 that is going to get married with a 6 lol

Wow, Tom. Nailed it. I had done a test that said i was a 4, but my therapist soon made the mention that I seemed more like a 6. It made so much more sense, So Much More. Your video absolutely nailed it. I laughed over and over. Laughed and then cried....My last relationship had all of this from me, and all the previous ones. I wish I'd have found the Enneagram earlier! Typical 6 thing to say I suppose.

I’m a six and it was like you are taking the thoughts out of my head.

Love the video as always!!

@twlahue

3 жыл бұрын

Thank you!!

Ironically if a 7 cheats on a 6, there will always be questions and the 7 cannot empathize or understand this. The 7 wants the 6 to “just trust me”, even though that’s not how it works.

This is SO accurate

I’m a 1w2 and a INFJ married to a 6 w5 who is a ENTJ for the last 25 years. This is very helpful! Thank you!

@VV-ik7sy

2 жыл бұрын

How has that dynamic been?

Great video. I understand why 6s might question their spouse about where they are. The world today, spouses lie and cheat a lot. Sad!

I watched one video of your 6 daughter and she reminds me so much of myself when I was younger😂 Sweet and sour 100%

Brllllllllliant,,, thank you 😊 🙏 lots of laughs 😃

That about you trying the chocolate again and your daughter was hilarious. But you know the saying, "it's all fun until someone gets hurt, then it's hilarious" :) You're for sure my favorite teacher in this Enneagram thing. You were the first one I clicked on, and I've listened to a few others but I always end up with you. Maybe it is, beside that you're close because you are a 7w6, or it could be that you have a beard, because also "Enneagram with Evan" is somewhat interesting. I'm just a week in, learning these things so I probably have a lot more to take in. But something I wonder is how many sub types there is. Like I know about the 6w5 and 6w7, but then you mention the social version and those other. Because I still haven't really realized if I am the w5 or w7. I'm very drawn back and can at times be pretty chill and not worry, but it's hard to really know what type I am, maybe I am so off balance that I'm actually not even a 6. I hope my English grammar is ok, I'm from Sweden and we are mainly learning British English in school. Thank you for your videos!

I don't really believe on personality type but I definitely relate to this

Your present the perspective of 6s in so many details. It's like you've been inside my head. How suspicious 🤔

Haha, 6w5 with a 3w2 partner here. I DO need a calming partner sooo much but I have a nervous-anxious partner :D So I am the calmer one and have to manage his anxiety and its super annoying. He is the Sanguine-Choleric type and I`m Phlegmatic- Melancholic so yeah (if that says anything to you). I am sceptical by nature but him cheating on me made it go to a whole new level, its 3 years later now and still trust issues (ofc I stayed as a loyal 6, I need to learn to be loyal TO MYSELF). I DID beat myself up for not seeing it coming, BIG TIME. But anyway... its scary how accurate enneagramm is.

i definitely worry about my partner coming home late not because I don't trust him but because I've got some trauma in that area so my 6 brain jumps to worst case scenarios in a stupidly quick amount of time. (less than 8 minutes late last time) 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

I wish my partner could watch this video so he can understand what I am going thru everyday with him around. The vague and sneaky actions he does always makes me anxious, and all he does is get angry at me for calling him out on his BS. He is an 8 but argues that he is a 5 - I highly doubt it he only chose what was convenient for him. He calls me a liar when he is the one being all sneaky and giving me ammunition when he tells me I am crazy and insecure. Yea he humiliates me so much and belittles me- I leave and he is all angry. Typing this makes me teary eyed- I need a 7 in my life.

All of your videos are always on the dot but this one in particular made me laugh. The story about your daughter not wanting you to eat that chocolate. Lol oh man we can definitely be sweet and sour.

Oh I caught up with these. I observe every non verbal expressions, I don't usually trust people and question their motives Yes you're correct , I hate applying for higher position or be a leader because of the big responsibility behind it.. I feel stuck inside a small box bec. fears eat me up instead of going out of my comfort zone 😔

Im in a relationship with a six ❤ Good video

I have a lot of type 6 friends & family members whom I really like & who are awesomesauce but I could never date one because i really cant with any kind of jealousy or restrictions on my freedom 6 and 5 often get confused but the ideal relationship looks very different for those 2 types... If someone was ever like "Where were you then & there" or "why didn't you reply" to me, the relationship ends *instantly* then & there.

I wonder if anyone has any insite as to whether a 6 could be more prone to being affected by trauma. I am a 6w5 who experienced some ugly things at war. Both internally to our group and what happened at war.

As a 6 I want someone who can 1) patient enough to not minimize my fears and be flippant but help me to work through them 2) someone trustworthy and reliable 3) someone with a sense of humor 4) someone with a good moral compass and who shares my faith And.. this is why I’m still single.. 😅

@twlahue

26 күн бұрын

Great list... You will find the right person.

How about confusion between 8s and 6s is there a clear way to know you are one or the other?

I am a social 5 and my ex is a social 6, I am going to see her again on Friday after a year so I continued studying her personality, it causes me a little bit of anxiousness to hear what I didn´t understand about her but I have another chance, I´ll do my best this time. Thank you for the video Tom.

@misovejasescuchanmivoz

3 жыл бұрын

39:17 The hardest part of being a 5 in a relationship with a 6, but, I promise I will get better at this.

I hate when my dr says “no call is a good thing” what if it didn’t go through for some reason? What if I missed it? What if they lost the paper that told them to call me and forgot. I just have to wait and hope I don’t get a call and wonder if I was supposed to get a call 😅

For FREEDOOOMMM

How do I change myself. It sounds like I'm too much to deal with.

I‘m totally a 6!!!😂 shocked

Lol I too laughed out loud. So me

Thank you for your videos brother. I had a question should we as a leadership in our church should we do the enneagram? How should we implement it if yes?

@twlahue

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, you should implement the Enneagram into you church. But do so very cautiously. Not everyone will appreciate it. Maybe start with a simple elective class on the subject on a night during the week. I tried by going straight from the pulpit as a message series. That was a mistake.

@nesespinosa

2 жыл бұрын

@@twlahue thank you. Is there an enneagram book that you recommend that I should start with?

24:40 is so my fiance

I am ashamed to say I was mistyped as a 5, 1 and even 8 before I got here. "Safe" (hehe) to say I'm introspective and vigilant

@twlahue

Күн бұрын

It's all part of the journey to self-discovery!

I don’t get it! The 6 carves out space and quiet for themselves. The 6 in my house, will think nothing of it, to go for days with their door closed. I’m a 4, and a parent, and when circumstances demand my physical help, and emotional strength, after a month, of listening, and trying to support, I need. My own space. I need to recharge, and connect with my own soul. All the insights you have mentioned are very true. The need to prepare. Fear of being homeless. But communication, like nutting something out in issues between adult and parent- or when their close friends hurt them - they won’t communicate clearly. They will not say, When you,…….. I feel,……. Because, They would rather distance, and hope the other will sweat while they’re withdrawn. Until next time. And the other will Never know! I did not know they don’t like leading. As they are so foresightful, and knowing. But it does absolutely cause them stress. Hot and cold oh yes!

What's ur sociotype Doctor?

I am a 6 with an 8 partner. Wish me luck lol

@cherylfox2817

Жыл бұрын

Same here! With the knowledge of the enneagram it has helped immensely, you've got this!!

Relationships? Hahaha 🤣

I feel like the MBTI personality classifications are more accurate then the Enneagram personality types... I feel like there is about half truths to the ennaagram types and a very big misunderstanding of personality types with this enneagram style and outlook. I feel the MBTI celebrates your strengths and understands the truth and reasoning, while the enneagram is an outsiders perspective that is how people that can't understand that type view things. Also being more of a type 6 I'm also equally other types that don't have the connection lines. And I don't resonate at all with half of the connection wings. But my MBTI personality type is INFJ so maybe your MBTI type mixed with your enneagram type makes a big difference on what all applies to you.