“Ends are meetin like a muthafucka..” 😂😂

@yw7887

Жыл бұрын

😅😅😅

@ChristianDedomenicis

Ай бұрын

LMAO best part

He's 100% accurate about everything.

@skynetprime82

5 жыл бұрын

Not quite everything, not all women are golddigging whores and not all guys are cheaters, me and my fiancee are prime examples of the term "exceptions to the rules"

@jillvalentinefan77

5 жыл бұрын

Eddie Murphy didnt tolerate thots and his back then. No man should now. Dont even bother with females, they rarely give a shit about you or your struggles.

@briankelly9347

5 жыл бұрын

@@jillvalentinefan77 hello pal its the 21st century things are,differnt now

@jillvalentinefan77

5 жыл бұрын

@@briankelly9347Sorry dude but in the 21st century we have thot patrols

@jillvalentinefan77

5 жыл бұрын

@@briankelly9347 You cant bullshit Saddam. I'm the king of deception.

Murphy's shit is timeless. Still funny.

@88omair

5 жыл бұрын

Been watching for 10 years and I love it more now

@sharonjohnson9782

3 жыл бұрын

Will like him for all time 😂💕😉

@ideal5535

2 жыл бұрын

For the person who is reading this message, know that God loves you and that he wants you to be saved and happy, nothing in this world like money, fun or popularity can fill the emptiness in your heart, but only his son Jesus who died for you can fill you, you who might not know about him, he knows you more than yourself, you who turned your back to him, he is still waiting for you with his arms open to receive you again, you who fought against him and had done things that are unforgivable in your eyes, he will always see you as his son and he already paid the price for all your sins, even if the world doesn’t forgive you, all that you need is God and everything will be alright, so trust God and only God, no one else, repent from your sins and never go back to them, and the most important thing is that you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior with your voice and your heart, when you do all these things, pray to God and read the Bible(Christian Bible not a Catholic since the Catholic one might’ve changed the word of God to something that it is not God’s word but men’s, so read a christian Bible) so that you get to know God, and when you pray ask God to guide you so that you always walk in his righteousness and that he gives you strength so you don’t fall to sin, and don’t just say I am a Christian and never read your bible or end up not praying, build a relationship with God, read the Bible, fast and pray and be his son not only in words but also in your actions, please listen to this message, today God has showed you grace, to you who might be depressed, empty, are being hated or hates, or maybe you don’t receive genuine love, even you who enjoys or is comfortable with his current life, whoever you who is reading this is, know that God is calling you to give you a future and a hope, in this life and in the eternal life, trust him because he loves you so much that you can’t even understand it, and the time is short, after this message you might day or Jesus might return, so be ready and follow him, for today he stretched his hand to you because he loves you and cares for you, and he doesn’t want you to go to hell, so please go to him, I promise you that it will be the best decision you will do in your entire existence and that God will free you from anything that hurts you, take the love and hope the Lord is giving you and be free, for the best future for your life is in his hands, please make the right choice, for today God has stretched his hand to you who he loves so much that he even died for knowing all the bad things you have done, that is how much love he has and will always have for you, and please if you have a way to contact the people on this video please send them this message, it might not seem like it but some people really need hope and God can change or save someone’s life and give hope to the hopeless by you just sending them this message, thank you for reading, God Bless you always❤️

@vincef7487

Жыл бұрын

T I M E L E S S ‼️‼️‼️ 👍🏽‼️

'I made $70, put that with the rest'.....lol

@quintinbanks5036

9 жыл бұрын

pam b now we have $300 million,$70 dollars because i want to do my share No... HAHAHA...

@pamb4699

9 жыл бұрын

Quintin Banks ....lol

@michellecoello9257

7 жыл бұрын

Half

@177SCmaro

5 жыл бұрын

@@quintinbanks5036 And, in many women's and, even worse, court's mind, her putting her 70 dollars with his 300 million entitles her to at least half of the 300 million because she "contributed".

@keithdunklin8155

5 жыл бұрын

So I did the math.. 10 years = 8,650 days, which is 87,600 hours total. If you hired an escort for $100 an hour in 10 years it'll be $8,760,000. This is no where near $150 million.

"Michael Jordan's ex wife never hit one jump shot!" - Bill Burr

@jakovbacica6300

8 жыл бұрын

+diypictures "The bitch never hit a lay-up in her life" if we're being precice

@diypictures

8 жыл бұрын

Ahh I knew it was something like that. Maybe it was Kobe's wife he was referring to about the jump shot.

@TheBallsKicker

8 жыл бұрын

+diypictures it was Kobe

@dansun6637

8 жыл бұрын

Don't forget Hogan and his gold digger ex.

@Jake21128

6 жыл бұрын

"Tigers Wife, 250 Million Dollars!!! Shes a Babysitter! With a Quarter of a Billion Fucking Dollars"

This was the 80s. Not a goddamned thing has changed in 30+ years. If anything, it's gotten worse.

@OckhamAsylum

7 жыл бұрын

That's the terrifying thing about it. This was decades ago when we didn't have the internet to spread social diseases like modern feminism which makes everything it touches worse. Nowadays? I can only imagine...

@Thepoweshow123

6 жыл бұрын

in this set he just said every man cheats...that's hasn't changed in 30 years.

@bulletproof1581

6 жыл бұрын

Yeah this has definitely gotten worse, nowadays it's most of a guys money if not leaving a guy pretty much homeless

@bassinblue

6 жыл бұрын

That shit just happens in America, more commonly in California...no wonder it's filled with whores.

@zexe6328

6 жыл бұрын

where i live divorce for men is like saying hi to your freind you tell her "your Divorced" her brother comes to pick her up end of story

It's fun to shut your eyes and imagine Donkey doing the stand up

@AlBundy310

8 жыл бұрын

+Justin Credible The fuckin Donkey from Shrek...nigga....Get with the program!

@dark3rthanshadows

8 жыл бұрын

From shrek!

@neilcronin4994

7 жыл бұрын

except donkey was Eddie Murphy, look it up

@dale4039

7 жыл бұрын

Dragon wants half Donkey's money

@gertrudemcfuzz74

6 жыл бұрын

LOL! She'll take half Donkey's shit!

This is what defines great comedy to me. Timeless humour Still relevant and funny AF

@mrScififan2

9 жыл бұрын

You're right timeless humor, still very relevant!

@JosephStardust

6 жыл бұрын

And to all those SJWs who want “more women in comedy”, THIS is what you’ll never get!

@elhuuselhuus2521

4 жыл бұрын

This is not timeless. the take half your shirt business is a relatively new development that stuck way beyond it's trial phase, And since most countries legislative seats are now half female quota, will stick around until this becomes inconvenient to wealthy women.

🤣😂…now we have 300 Million and $70 dollars. Such a classic to this day…I’m just glad I was around to appreciate his stand up in real time. 👏👏👏👏

#1 rule every damn man on the face of the earth forgets. " No puzzy is worth $150,000,000 dollars." Spoken like a higher consciousness.

And so far Eddie has avoided the "HALF!!!" monster. He is one of the few celebrities to do so.

@dark3rthanshadows

8 жыл бұрын

Indeed

@beatigswartz5668

8 жыл бұрын

+Sgt Baker He never did "Homophobic" comedy. He did comedy about gays, just like he did comedy about blacks, whites, asian and italians. Whats the matter, he can pick on every race and subject but if he does one about gays, he's a homophobe? This is why no one takes you gays seriously. lol!!

@jennyjargon3151

7 жыл бұрын

Beatig Swartz you remind me of Onision

@SkandalouzStyle

7 жыл бұрын

shows how much u know! Eddie Murphy's been caught out by a bitches more than once I think he has a standard support payment that gives out lol

@davidbrazier9585

5 жыл бұрын

note2owns he didn’t when he was going with scary spice

This should be a must see, at every bachelor party all over the world.

@idwtbam

4 жыл бұрын

By then it's too late

@dappa311

2 жыл бұрын

%1000 correct!

@WadeMFilms

2 жыл бұрын

@@idwtbam was just gonna say that. More like this should be seen before every time you start the damn relationship.

@iga279

2 жыл бұрын

It should be studied my lawyers

@j0ellyfish

Жыл бұрын

@@idwtbam The hell it is

I remember Mutumbo asked a girl he was going to marry to sign a prenup and she said no and he said ok then bye! Mutumbo the legend.

@jaysonraphaelmurdock8812

3 жыл бұрын

😄

"I start having nightmares, I be waking up in the middle of the night like this, 'HALF!'" I lost it.

I am getting a prenup when i get married, ain’t no one taking half my $30.

@gus6612

3 жыл бұрын

Shit that's actually funny lol

@michaeld4676

3 жыл бұрын

I think getting a prenup costs about $31 nowadays

@zabadazidit

3 жыл бұрын

Now that's funny, I don't care who you are!

@stevepatrickjarvis

3 жыл бұрын

Now that made me laugh hard. Burnt myself! Is 30 all you have left after the wedding expenses?

@praiseenterprise8605

2 жыл бұрын

You had me burst in laughter. You good

"Now we have 300000000 and 70 dollars" That made me laugh so hard!!!

@yw7887

Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

@missmew3499

3 ай бұрын

The face he made just made it that much better too!!! 😂😂😂😂

'here Johnny I made $70 put that with the rest' LMAO!!!

$300,000,070.oo

@gcrazy64

4 жыл бұрын

LMAO

@drearoses1306

4 жыл бұрын

lol!!!!

@jasoncreasey7981

4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@cindasnodgrass6507

3 жыл бұрын

Yep

No one will ever be a better stand-up than Eddie.

@youngbloodnba

2 жыл бұрын

Dave chappelle is buddy.

@missmew3499

Жыл бұрын

@@youngbloodnba Chappell is good, but Eddie was waaaay ahead of his time!!

@KingBranBDM

Жыл бұрын

@@missmew3499 cut from the same cloth. Dave is the evolution.

@domarq

Жыл бұрын

You can immediately tell who's a Millennial and born in the middle to late 1980's. They only refer to Dave Chappelle as the token Black "legend". They're lazy....don't research.... and jump on the "popular" trend. Anyone born before 1980 knows Eddie Murphy and his friend Michael Jackson RULED the 1980's. But, more importantly: THEY WERE PIONEERS. They created opportunities for Black entertainers which were previously non-existent. And before Eddie, it was Richard Pryor. I'm so glad I experienced this era, IN REAL TIME.

@jmeds94

Жыл бұрын

@@domarq I think Pryor gets overhyped, he’s still a top 10 comedian of all time, but there’s others ahead of him. For black comedians I think Chapelle comes first, then Eddie second, then probably Cosby. Then Pryor, Patrice O’Neal, and Chris Rock.

“Now we have 300 million and 70 dollars” That’s definitely me 😭

@OwenNovakChildofGod

4 жыл бұрын

You’re part of the problem dumb bitch

@88omair

4 жыл бұрын

@@OwenNovakChildofGod aight take it down a notch there papi

@crusher6589

3 жыл бұрын

@@88omair no he's right tf

@sidd9150

2 жыл бұрын

shut up dumb feminazi this is why y’all still fighting for your rights

@meriwhaa5095

2 жыл бұрын

Lmaoo the fact that there’s men that spend their time on the internet trying to bash a woman they never met, is more of a problem than me laughing and agreeing with a joke. 😂

1:40 the way that crowd cheered is the most wholesome thing

I bet Paul McCartney listened to this on a loop for a while...

@malcolml309

7 жыл бұрын

Of course he did. Paul McCartney, had more than 1 billion reasons to do so.

@Talktocsv

7 жыл бұрын

What's with him? If I may ask. :)

@dark3rthanshadows

6 жыл бұрын

her wife took a big chunk of his money

@MUFFINHEAD1985

6 жыл бұрын

Whilst crying into a prosthetic leg.

@bassinblue

6 жыл бұрын

Paul McCartney was worth 600mil at the time and only paid her 24 mil...he pretty much won, since he can make that money back within the year. He either had great lawyers or the judge was a Beatles fan...or both.

Can't believe I secretly watched this behind my parents couch when I was 7. The first comedian I saw.

Sheer genius. Laughing my ass SO hard, and I've watched this since 08. God dammit Eddie we NEED you back!

I love 80's Eddie Murphy!!!

@88omair

4 жыл бұрын

The BEST version. Genius

In the 80s this was hilarious! Today it's scary af.

@omegamale7880

4 жыл бұрын

It's scary that some people still haven't learned from it.

@toddinthemiddle

2 жыл бұрын

@@omegamale7880 one of the best comments i've ever read...because it's true and wise.

4:57 Norbit is born

@kennethreed2441

6 жыл бұрын

TheChrxnic 5:16 ya meant

All I can do is imagine men all over the world waking up in the middle of the night screaming “HALF!” in their native language.

this is by far one of the most legendary Bits ever... the amount of truth in this is amazing and it really shines a light on how in 30 years not much has changed. Gold Digging whores are still a problem.

The older I get the more I am thinking it to be a miracle that any 25 year old man can have this degree of insight. I am 60 now but could easily have fell into the traps he talks about when I was still in my 50's. Great comedians are also life coaches without even trying.

Now i know why eddy is a legend.

@dappa311

2 жыл бұрын

Now you know

@mohdfakhrurrazi9722

2 жыл бұрын

@@dappa311 i am too young to know him when he do his stand ups.

This is still funny in 2019 lol 😂😂

@susanelezebeth2751

4 жыл бұрын

Fire! But sad thing you'd never see this show in December of 2019

@jasoncreasey7981

4 жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@88omair

4 жыл бұрын

This is funnier to me now after growing up since I can relate to most of it now haha. GENIUS

Not gonna lie THATS TOO MUCH.. Not fair if you ain't worked for it.. Its not yours

@pisceansith6915

6 жыл бұрын

THAT'S THE FUCKIN TRUTH

@Bignawright

5 жыл бұрын

L.M.I.C UK not true in some cases baby girl.

@jsaav4599

5 жыл бұрын

@@MrGamerman001 That's every, bitch. Not just white.

@hippyjason

5 жыл бұрын

​@@MrGamerman001 Yeah, what J saav said: All the bitches, ALL the time.

@boahnation9932

5 жыл бұрын

@@jsaav4599 true dat. Fuckin true dat.

Amen...that's why any man that gets me to say I Do gotta sign a prenup...that you don't trust me lyrics will not work with me...marriage and money don't mix...you got yours, I got mine and what we build together is ours...period. ..

@bhutchin1996

6 жыл бұрын

Prenups can be beneficial to women too. "What's mine's mine; what's yours' yours; includes assets and liabilities." Contracts, including prenups, are supposed to benefit both parties.

@dunnotck1

3 жыл бұрын

I agree. The assets acquired during the marriage should be split in half, but what each individual had before the marriage stays theirs.

He said this in the 80s and people are still falling for it now lmao. Marriage is useless.

@wronggg

5 жыл бұрын

Marriage is very useful for women.

@TheStapleGunKid

5 жыл бұрын

We're at the point where marriage offers no tangible benefits for men at all. I'd love to hear someone explain to me what actual benefits men get out of the arrangement.

@jacobitewiseman3696

5 жыл бұрын

@@TheStapleGunKid thank Obama for making it worse and feminism for starting this bullshit.

@hoodhealthywithhuff8815

5 жыл бұрын

So true marriage is useless

@RichWeigel

5 жыл бұрын

Yeah but Eddie has been married and is currently engaged to be married.

best standup of all time.

I sometimes have nightmares now picturing my future wife say HALF! Shits that's scary.

@PermanentHigh

9 жыл бұрын

You don't HAVE to get married. If you want to avoid all the bullshit just don't get married, it's the logical and safe thing to do.

@MrSilverfish12

9 жыл бұрын

PermanentHigh I know. I don't feel any pressure to get married. But I always wanted to start my own family.

@PermanentHigh

9 жыл бұрын

+Im a Fox starting your own family doesn't mean marriage. You don't need to get the law and the state involved in your relationship. You forfeit many rights when you get married, as a man. Don't even do it for tax purposes. What does that tell you, the fact that being married affects your taxes? That it's a business. You don't mix money with "love. Marriage should belong strictly to homosexuals, I don't even know why straight men do it because the institution of marriage was designed to fuck a man in the ass.

@MrSilverfish12

9 жыл бұрын

PermanentHigh That's what I was thinking. I don't want a bunch of people I don't know dealing with my personal affairs. No contract but will most likely say we are married.

@PermanentHigh

9 жыл бұрын

+Im a Fox If you walk around saying you're married or you call the girl your wife and you live together, to the state you're pretty much married. it's called common law marriage. Your best bet is to watch your mouth and have the girl you live with pay rent. Even if you give her back the money somehow. But with legal documentation that she's a tenant, you won't get fucked by the state.

Eddie, the best ever stand up comedian!

I'm female and I agree with what he says. All I ask is that a guy treat me right, be a good lover and have a job. I have a job, he should too.

@bhutchin1996

6 жыл бұрын

"Gotta have a J O B if you wanna be with me." Eddie talks about that too. - "What's going on?" - "The rent, muthafrakka!"

@drearoses1306

4 жыл бұрын

@@bhutchin1996 felt like i was in the 80s when he said that line lol!!!!

@paulsf8597

4 жыл бұрын

Hamstergirl71 if only most women thought the way you do, divorce rates would be lower

@MrNanah38

4 жыл бұрын

Hamstergirl Please let me have your number

@dunnotck1

3 жыл бұрын

It's a very simple thing to ask of a partner yet I've met a lot of men who get offended when I tell them I only date guys with a job. I actually had to break up with my last boyfriend because he expected me to support him financially, wtf. People are too sensitive nowadays.

I'm convinced he was talking about Charlotte Lewis, his co-star from The Golden Child. She was 19 when the movie was filmed and they did date briefly. And yeah, she was absolutely gorgeous.

@frankmarlowe

5 жыл бұрын

"was"

@michaelseidenberg2323

3 жыл бұрын

Who??? I'd probably know her if she had half his money

@timmy841212

3 жыл бұрын

Ooh good catch!

@jdfodio

3 жыл бұрын

Nope. His fiance was Lisa Figuroa.

Among the truest words ever spoken.

Half! (with the Johnny Carson expression) - Eddie Murphy's Raw is still good 31 years later. MGTOW!

I wish he did more stand up, love his work

I sure do wish that he'd do stand-up from time to time again. He was one of he best.

Paul McCartney. Tiger woods.

@Wis_Dom

8 жыл бұрын

+Kings mario A lot more than that...lmao!

@bassinblue

6 жыл бұрын

Paul's ex never took half. Paul pretty much won the case, since he was worth 600mil at the time and the bitch took 24 mil. She probably used that to pay the lawyers and obviously it got taxed, so I doubt she even had over 10mil in the bank.

@cule4life80

6 жыл бұрын

David Harrison that's still too much

@pisceansith6915

6 жыл бұрын

and Sir Paul McCartney the biggest dunce of the lot....

Still True to This Day!

150 million dollars would be a bargain for Jeff Bezos.

@dunnotck1

3 жыл бұрын

Eddie mentioned he thinks it's fair for the wife to get half if the couple built their fortune together during the marriage. Which was the case with Amazon. Both of them created the company and built it up to be what it is now. She was like an early shareholder so she rightfully earned the money she got in the divorce settlement.

@steez5769

3 жыл бұрын

@@dunnotck1 I agree. She didn't just jump on board once Amazon was a tycoon. His ex was with him since before the beginning and helped him start it. Pretty sure she was Amazon's first official employee as Jeff's accountant/bookkeeper.

@ethanweeter2732

3 жыл бұрын

@@steez5769 He admitted she worked for nothing or free a while too.

@stevepatrickjarvis

3 жыл бұрын

Bezos is cool but he still looks like a big toe.

@V4Now

2 жыл бұрын

@@stevepatrickjarvis he also runs a shady business.

This is not comedy.. this is education 😄😄😄

"I start having nightmares waking up in the middle of the night like HALF!...oh"

"And sparks shot out the woman's ass!" 😂

DAMN TRUE !!!!

Thank you for uploading, this brought me some much needed joy today.

THEY JUST GOT ANOTHER ONE! Blake Griffin reportedly ordered to pay $258K a month in child support . Women are on here telling men, "Just don't marry the wrong one". But money and emotions will make ANY woman the "wrong" one.

@zabadazidit

3 жыл бұрын

+1000

@jdfodio

3 жыл бұрын

And he just married another one! Obviously, he's the wrong one who can't get marriage right with multiple women. They say that the 3rd one's the charm. She's his 3rd (4th?). He's her 2nd. When a man finds a wife, he has found a treasure! For she is the gift of God to bring him joy and pleasure. But the one who divorces a good woman loses what is good from his house. To choose an adulteress is both stupid and ungodly. - Proverbs 18:22 TPT JESUS: “Your ancestors have been taught, ‘Never commit adultery.’ However, I say to you, if you look with lust in your eyes at the body of a woman who is not your wife, you’ve already committed adultery in your heart. If your right eye seduces you to fall into sin, then go blind in your right eye! For you’re better off losing sight in one eye than to have your whole body thrown into hell. And if your right hand entices you to sin, let it go limp and useless! For you’re better off losing a part of your body than to have it all thrown into hell. “It has been said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife must give her legal divorce papers.’ However, I say to you, if anyone divorces his wife for any reason, except for infidelity, he causes her to commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” (Matthew 5:27‭-‬32 TPT)

The ends are meetin like a muthafucka 😂

This is the funniest realest standup ever imo...he ain't trying too hard, everything he says is relatable, and true. Perfection if it existed

5:55..."HALF!!!!!" LMFAO!!!!!

"Take all the money you can and shit" hahaha always makes me laugh, he speaks the truth!

@yw7887

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

Johnny Depp brought me here.

@dark3rthanshadows

7 жыл бұрын

yeah that gold digger destroyed him1 she knew he was millionaire before marring him ....

@Theocracy8

6 жыл бұрын

That truly depicts what happened to him. And she was all about beauty etc so he should've known better. Too bad she got a big chunk in the end. Really not fair. Fucked up system.

@SeniorAdrian

4 жыл бұрын

he tweeted this?

@atlasshrugged2u

4 жыл бұрын

In his case he deserved it...

@sovaponoc9970

4 жыл бұрын

The funny thing is like he didn't marry the mother of his 2 children and possibly the best women in his life for years. I don't know why they broke up, but Vanessa Paradie(?) even defended him, while the whole thing with Amber Heard was going on. I don't think he will ever marry again, after the whole fuck up

I believe what Eddie makes a great commedian is the fact that everything he says is connected from the beginning to the end the whole story every word every sentence is connected is like listening to a novel all the events are connected he doesen't jumps from one subject to another he does not change the subject he starts with one character and leads him through the whole process the narrative the characters the plot he does not jumps to conclusions to fast its a long joke as long as a book it is funny and as time goes by it is getting funnier untill he gets to the end and shits explode from being funny and that's what makes him so great at telling jokes.

Lol, when he mimicked the women saying she deserved that money, his gestures and voice was so funny! He is the best Mimic whether it’s everyday people or celebrities. Lol “I contributed 70 dollars to your 300 million, and now we have 300 million 70 dollars, cause I want to contribute. Lol! And he just makes voices up. So funny.

This aged very well!! 35 years and counting. He told no lies tho

5:47-5:49 LOL! That facial expression was priceless!

I love his impersonation of a woman 😂

@88omair

4 жыл бұрын

Never gets old 😂, especially when he starts talking really fast

@sivuyilexakwe5608

4 жыл бұрын

@@88omair "she earned it"

@yw7887

Жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

Sage advice from the legendary Eddie murphy👊🙌👍😎👏👏

@jdfodio

3 жыл бұрын

Foolishness for fools.

Timeless classic!!

came here cause of Dmitry Rybolovlev's ex-wife getting 4.5 BILLION for doing NOTHING

@matbroomfield

10 жыл бұрын

It's a fucking disgrace, and the worst thing is, feminists have convinced the world that this is fair. It amazes me that a LOT more women don't get murdered when they pull this shit.

@animangamania

10 жыл бұрын

Watched this skit, then heard the news about that divorce, and I can picture the woman saying: "HALF! I'LL TAKE HALF HIS SHIT!"

@Dorkus89Malorkus

10 жыл бұрын

Mat Broomfield Indeed. I would have taken 100 million and hired a good hit man.

@matbroomfield

10 жыл бұрын

John I mean seriously, how much does it make to make a greedy money grabbing woman just disappear? I'm not saying the woman didn't deserve to be tossed a bone for being with him. A million seems like an unbelievably generous gesture, maybe even ten. But 4.5 BILLION for what? In what POSSIBLE UNIVERSE can she have provided the support to justify that? He could have had a high class prostitute, a maid, a business manager, a chauffeur, a personal therapist a chef, AND a nanny on 24 hour stand by for life and still got major change out of five million, so this woman did what?

@filmnoirfan1975

10 жыл бұрын

Why don't these guys get pre-nups? Or is this a settlement after a pre-nup? I hear about those too but don't understand the legality of it all. Sounds like these women are nothing more than high priced prostitutes - but the man is to blame for part of it if he doesn't protect himself legally before the marriage. I'm a woman and if I was wealthy there is no way in hell I would marry without protecting myself. I have a friend who has to pay her ex husband alimony.

ftw he got married and she took half his shit XD Should have listened to your own advice.

@thetechlibrarian

4 жыл бұрын

And then like a dummy she lost 7 million by con man

This was my teaching tool when I was growing and that shot helped and I have the things I want without stress from a women

Hahahahaha this will never get old....still funny to this day, and still true to this day

4:43- hahahahaha, Eddie killing it.

Best stand-up ever. Genius.

2022 , ain’t a god damn thing changed..

Mark Zuckerberg just got married someone should post this on his wall

@note2owns

4 жыл бұрын

Half of 40 Billion dollars is still 20 billion. Definitely would not be hurting.

@Kirokill1

4 жыл бұрын

note2owns Flawed logic. half of 10 is 5 but imagine how much a kid would be angry if you took that from him.

@jacobjorgenson9285

4 жыл бұрын

They have together since college

@kerry2921

6 ай бұрын

They built it together

His facial expressions drive the point home. HALF!!!

@yw7887

Жыл бұрын

🤣🤣🤣

I watch this in 2024 and that show is still the funniest I've ever watched. Best comedian that ever lived.

I love the way he does the man saying "Okay...". That was like me with my ex. Everytime she ragged me out about something I would be like "Okay...lets do it your way"

This is why I don't want to get married. The idea of a woman getting half of my students loan, payday loan and wonga debt keeps me up at night.

@MeneTekelUpharsin

8 жыл бұрын

No, woman would want to marry you to begin with.

@eriknjadaka7396

8 жыл бұрын

Get married in Cameroon. There, you can choose to share or not to share your money with your wife.

@bassinblue

6 жыл бұрын

Not getting married because of financial issues? Damn white are wiping themselves out of history xDDD

@darlenejames9247

6 жыл бұрын

No woman with actual morals would take half of your money because that's just wrong.

@skynetprime82

5 жыл бұрын

@@Wis_Dom I'm actually married to a very good woman so thank you 👍

I'm a woman , a feminist, and I agree 100% that in the case of a breakup each party should keep what they had going into the relationship. Also in 90% of cases alimony is insulting and ridiculous. Just wanted to throw it out there that not all, or even most, women are gold diggers. If you're only meeting these ridiculous women, rather than venting your male rage on the Internet, change what you look for in a woman.

@Wis_Dom

6 жыл бұрын

Doesn't matter what type of woman you meet, she could be great at first. But most women are easily influenced. And change when they get mad.

So true I love this clip👍🏻

And 30 years later, this is more true than ever.

"Did you know you could take his money did you know that?" So good

"here Johnny I made $70, put that with the rest"

MANEEEEEEEEEEE I read online a Russian billionaire and his wife got a divorce and he had to give her half of that. SHIT CRAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYY.

Classic comedy........but also great relationship advice! Heed it, young men and old.

This was the 80s. And men still get got.

"You fill out a w2, they say 'what do you do?' you say 'I FUCK my husband'" Fucking hilarious! 😂

Best damn stand up special, Hands down

ARCHIVES...Cant wait for Mr. Murphy..if he wants to come back..Salute to a LEGEND..

Hahaha he's 100% right

@oddeda

5 жыл бұрын

Nope, he's 50% right

Eddie ahead of his time !!! 👍👍

Richard Pryor and George Cain opened the doors for Eddie Murphy and Dave, Chapelle never let that be forgotten

This is not comedy, this is the best lesson of life you can get! I followed his "advice" and never got married so i never ever payed a dime to my ex girlfriends.

Used to watch this as a kid and felt horrible, fast forward 20+ years and it’s comedy gold. You won’t ever understand this until you witness or go through it. Classic.

let say that her job was to be his wife .... lets skip the job description and look straight into the payment. there is 365 days in a year. number of days in 10 year are 3650 days. 150 million was taken as a compensation for the break up .... $150 million divided by 3650 days = (equals) $41 thousands a day!!!!! let put this into perspective: $41 thousand a day is about $1700 an hour. O.o is it worth it?!

@thatsquidwardfeel5567

8 жыл бұрын

That's outrageous enough but you're not even accounting for the non-monetary benefits he paid for and she enjoyed in the mean time (housing, transportation, you name it) yet. Add that on top of it.

@youssefrochdi1994

8 жыл бұрын

High end escorts take 1000 or 1500 a night. That's fulfilling ALL your fantasies every day of the week for 10 years while doing cocaine and drinking the best liquor in town.

@pisceansith6915

6 жыл бұрын

FUCK NO is't not worth it no matter how you divide it, she should not get a damn penny......end of

@pisceansith6915

5 жыл бұрын

FUCK NO

@LeWildSister

5 жыл бұрын

Shiiiet carson got burned

4:40 killedddd me 😂😂😂😂 that hand and step back "FirSt OF aLl"

hahaha i love eddie murphy all the comedy hes ever done is hilarious!

We used to watch this as kids and laugh so hard. Today too much PC has ruined art. Eddie i want to talk to you!!!!!!! HALF!!!!

"The ends are meeting like a motherfucker" 🤣🤣🤣🤣

2022 still relevant today

I miss this Eddy Murphy...No f's given 🙌😁😁