"Once you see yourself as the source, now you're powerful." Thank you, Gabor.

@cecilevanduinhoven6840

3 жыл бұрын

So true!!

@AnaTai3

Жыл бұрын

Reframing to assume responsibility all along the way (unflinchingly) can be one's source of power. One may not 'jump to conclude: "I am not worthy of good treatment but rather where in this dealing did I fall short?" (of course this thinking doesn't fit the 'that's trauma' story being promoted as it is Mate's work.

@carmenl163

Жыл бұрын

@@AnaTai3 If you were thinking logically like that, you wouldn't have felt the emotions. I'm sure you know from your own experience that you wanted someone you really trusted to do something. When they didn't follow through, you would immediately go to where there could have been an error, both on their and on your side. That's because you trust them. There is no trauma connected to your thinking. Now, with people you don't trust, there is a different story. Then you'll respond to your childhood experiences and go back to trauma.

“We don’t respond to the present moment, we respond to the past.” Amen!

@straightfacts5352

Жыл бұрын

We respond to the present moment with the past.

@kalleeann

Жыл бұрын

I know I wrote that sentence down immediately!

@cybernurse2020

Жыл бұрын

We reply to the present FROM our past. What do you think?

@Cruize91

Жыл бұрын

@@cybernurse2020 I understand where you're coming from, but I think Maté simply means that you have an emotional response to a past memory triggered by the present moment.

Tim is uncomfortable. Hits a nerve with him. Still working through childhood trauma....like most of us. Way to go for posting and being brave.

@alexbenson3011

2 жыл бұрын

100 percent fair play for posting

@WallyMahar

2 жыл бұрын

There's so many friends I know that if I tried to do this ...(I do do this with, but not well) with them I would get that look. Man that look. Yeah thanks for posting that. The biggest thing is how to get past that look... cuz now look where the anger is directed ...LOL And it usually comes out of nowhere, and I can't think fast enough on my feet.. . and that's where things go......

@DrErinSepic

Жыл бұрын

Amen! Always ballsy, Tim. Thanks Man. Your courage is inspiring.

@cybernurse2020

Жыл бұрын

Just as you commented, I too thought Tim was uncomfortable, but maybe for other reasons. It felt like he was being pressured to provide the answer(s) Gabor was holding out for. It's hard to know if Tim's original answer held true for him, as he seems like someone who likes to please. What do you think, as I'm new to this channel? It seemed unfair to keep re-phrasing the questions, as Tim's (original) answers seemed spontaneous, thoughtful, and sincere. Was it fair to keep pushing for different ones? Maybe Gabor knew best. In a different setting, where a "therapeutic alliance" exists, between client and therapist, that's fair game, but I don't think that was the case here. It seemed as though Gabor needed the podcast to land where it did, in order to illustrate his viewpoint on the topic. (And he needed Tim to supply the "right answer" that lead to that theme.) Was it at the expense of Tim's "truth"? We may never know. That's the "discomfort" I felt, even though I still enjoyed the podcast and found it interesting.

@CyCascade

Жыл бұрын

@@cybernurse2020 interesting take. I read that too but it feels to me that both are true in degrees

We don’t respond to what happens, we respond to our perception of what happens... 🔥🔥

@KFlorent13

4 жыл бұрын

Remind me of something I read in Marcus Aurelus's book.

@tobinmoffatt3075

4 жыл бұрын

Yayyy, we live in a world where people treat each other well and sadness is always just a logical fallacy that is never rooted in circumstance!!

@KFlorent13

4 жыл бұрын

@@tobinmoffatt3075 Are you missing the point on purpose ?

@sunray6673

4 жыл бұрын

yeah, we learn. isn't it amazing! ;)

@coreycox2345

4 жыл бұрын

@@tobinmoffatt3075 At times, our perceptions of reality are correct and at other times, false. Also, the truth is subjective for topics that defy scientific method.

Wow Tim it took guts to post this! No one could ever convince me you don't care about your audience after being so publicly vulnerable - ironically this makes you appear even more masculine & worthy of respect.

@darz_k.

4 жыл бұрын

That is the gayest comment I have ever read.

@darz_k.

4 жыл бұрын

@@IMPACTPodcasterAcademy ..and this is the second gayest comment I have ever read.

@Way_Of_The_Light

4 жыл бұрын

How do you know if he cares? He rarely personally replies to any of us..

@VinceAscaino

4 жыл бұрын

@@Way_Of_The_Light The act of posting such obvious unconfortable moment its what signals a genuine person ( Action = Values) ( "Put you money where your mouth is" . His eyes, body language get clearly unconfortable by the second. He could have chosen to not make this moment public. Real action matching the message of declared values is what most humans will perceive as closer to the truth.

@Way_Of_The_Light

4 жыл бұрын

@@VinceAscaino I don't know if that's enough of a benchmark for me to accept that he "cares" about his audiences. He could have just posted this clip because it's a good clip to post and get more video views.

Tim is like your grown up brother, healing himself and showing the way to his siblings and the rest of the world. thank u for showing up for your inner child. 💓

Trauma is when we don’t respond to the present moment we respond to the past.

@gama6749

4 жыл бұрын

Z Ber this one got me

@Badboyifier

4 жыл бұрын

wow thanks for this

@javiceres

4 жыл бұрын

Sorry if I sound mean, the “is when” part sounds like a 10 year old explaining something l. That said the rest of the sentence is very interesting and eye opening. Thanks.

@jasperbasson

4 жыл бұрын

🔥🔥

@cahillgreg

3 жыл бұрын

@@javiceres Shush now

Love to see authentic content!!! Tim made himself vunerable, stayed in the moment, was visible uncomfortable, but went through the conversation and we as an audience share the “Aha” moment 🙌🏼

@davidfuller764

Жыл бұрын

Ah my close cousin-brother Tim F revealed me to me yet again. Now for the work..

@getjonny6245

Жыл бұрын

Well said.

@davewalman57

Жыл бұрын

Absolutely. Tim is me. Tim is most people.

@ElizabethSanto22

Жыл бұрын

Similar to EMDR..kind of a EMD little r

Someone once told me: never assume malintent, meaning don't assume someone is out to hurt/betray/annoy/damage you, the real answer is usually much more complicated. I've tried over time to reserve judgement because of that advice. Learn the whole story first, then proceed.

@coreycox2345

4 жыл бұрын

Sometimes that is not possible, Claire Houston.

@owenlee9474

4 жыл бұрын

Absolutely agree. As I approach 40 I am finally noticing I am doing this constantly 🥺 I wish for a day I could see through a new mind.

@coreycox2345

4 жыл бұрын

@@owenlee9474 In my case, I meant that I lack information. I enjoy being in my mind.

@coreycox2345

4 жыл бұрын

@@omardelmar It's always better to learn the full story before proceeding, if possible.

@newyorker2581

3 жыл бұрын

There are times you can't learn the whole story but if you can figure out for yourself what & why you are being triggered then at least when confronted with those feelings again instead of an overly emotional triggered response, you are able to respond to the present appropriately.

Gabor Maté has a heroic gift for healing. Thank you, Tim Ferriss, for this.

@mandycote5662

Жыл бұрын

No God is the gift Gabor is the human vessel-talent He’s not the Saviour

@jarkachalmovianska7812

Жыл бұрын

@@mandycote5662 energy, universe...

So brave of Tim to venture into this exercise with Dr. Maté. The doctor is right though, with our traumas we are really responding to the past more so than the present.

Having the language to articulate how we feel is a huge step in resolving, unwinding our mental anguish.

@sanat7491

Жыл бұрын

Very good point. We try to teach this language at primary school now using emotion colour wheels. It's very useful for adults too.

@CC-dx6bc

Жыл бұрын

Need education

Who else just wants to give Tim a hug after this act of emotional bravery?

My counsellor turned me on to Gabor, he is an amazing mind and a very self aware human being. So happy I got connected to him. I am now 18 months clean from the dtes. Turned my life around.

@TwinTalon01

3 жыл бұрын

Fuggin glad to hear it, man. Keep going. Rooting for you!!

@Sock_Puppet_Muppet_Slots

3 жыл бұрын

@@TwinTalon01 thanks so much! Still in it to win it.

It's not the event - it's the meaning we give it. Beautifully illustrated here.

@paulraymond5410

2 жыл бұрын

Hello Free From Your Fears That's a nice video.. Well How are you today? I wish you a happy day 🍒🌹💐

So great that you were able to partake in this exercise and equally great that Gabor was able to teach us about this.

@karpisatish

3 жыл бұрын

T

Dr. Gabor Mate is a modern-day wizard. The combo of Tim Ferriss -- whom I admire and his work with the wizard is powerful beyond measure. Bravo Tim for your vulnerability.

@ryanboyle6688

4 жыл бұрын

He's awesome cause he saw all the bullshit in a broken system and just started talking about it and seeking how far it went.

@intentionalliving7326

3 жыл бұрын

Well put!!

Wow I’ve never seen Tim get this uncomfortable it’s pretty heartening to know someone as intelligent and sharp as him even still has his wounds. Props for posting this.

Tim really reached down deep for that power move and put something out there for all of us to learn and benefit from, and he handled it with absolute class and gratitude.

Oh my gosh!!! I SOOOOO needed to hear this right at this moment. My blood was boiling. My stomach was sick and my chest was constricted and I didn't know what to do with those feelings!! Am sooo grateful for this video!

@CC-dx6bc

Жыл бұрын

😢

@bobdillaber1195

11 ай бұрын

Life sometimes brings us things at the very moment we most need them.

Simply incredible. Best learning I had in my last 12 years of personal development. Thank you, Tim and Gabor Mate.

Wow, Gabor Mate is truly a gift to the world. Thank you Gabor and thanks @TimFerris for always having him on your show

This was a very powerful lesson. I will never forget "Reframe This Situation" (thank you Dr. Mate), which puts an almost immediate halt to ftrue anger or, worse, blowing a gasket. The important reminder for me in this is that people do things, or don't do things, for reasons I may never know about or understand, and very likely their actions or inactions have nothing at all to do with me. That's not to say if their behavior is habitual I'm not entitled to do something about it, but at least I will come to a decision intellectually and not emotionally.

@pepperings

Ай бұрын

no you won't. you will feel the emotion no matter how you wish you wouldn't feel it. Your decisions intellectually have no choice but to be reached by emotion, even if you turn down the knob to cool. And moreso if you turn it to cool, because what you really had wished for is the warm setting. Talking heads can make you see something that when tried you realize was hogwash.. talking heads made a lot of money off you, too. If you look into Gabor more, you will see he capitalizes off his holocaust trauma and everything in his life strings from it. I met him in person and his eyes are distant and cold to everyone. He really is a black hole pity party.

Gabor Mate is revolutionary in healing past trama. Its so wonderful to see the vulnerability in healing. It's not weakness it's courageous! Love it! Thank you💓

How beautiful this is, to watch how Gabor navigates and leads Tim safely to the learning. Tim’s relieved smile at his “aha!” moment at the end is priceless 🥰

Wow I had to pause this video and have a big cry. That hit home.

I don't normally comment on KZread videos, but this one blew my mind. Wow.

@mustafabaris9681

4 жыл бұрын

Shashank M Always makes me curious why certain people consume a lot of KZread but always use the phrase “ I don’t usually comment on KZread videos “ , may I ask why you don’t comment ? I think that commenting is a form of communication , once you refrain yourself from doing it , you cut out communication ..

@GermanLibertarian

3 жыл бұрын

same here

Gabor Maté is changing lives 🌈

How brave of you to do this on camera. Thank you for being open to being vulnerable, so we may learn. I hope you got something out of this too. Be well.

Tim thank u for being honest, that is the way out of being a victim on an emotional level. we need a lot of care in the emotional level. thank u for letting your emotional mind speaking up , your honest responses.

Thank-you Dr Maté, for facilitating an opportunity to see the depth of sadness in this generation.

@flynnzilla8796

Жыл бұрын

And the ability of each individual to mend themselves! There is no other way

there are so many different ways to look at a situation like this that happened to Tim there are so many different ways to perceive life’s events i agree with the trauma lingering even after eons of healing awareness we are continually learning

Wow! One crystal clear example of what it means, "if you know the truth, it will set you free."! Thanks Tim and thanks Dr. Mate.

Really awesome awarenesses here. The next step in my experience is giving the part of us what it needed that it didn't get...often through letting it share how it (little 'me') felt when so and so happened and then giving that part the Love it needed and still needs. The love can be anything from a hug, to words like "i love you" or "i got you" or "you didn't do anything wrong, etc etc. One of the big keys is allowing our emotions around the challenges so they can be cleared, completed and resolved through this process of awareness and loving ourselves. This is really important and deep work. Glad you are sharing this Tim.

My favorite doctor!!!! Thanks for having him on.

THANK YOU SO MUCH for posting it. only 7 minutes. a whole lecture. i got it just in time. i am grateful. love. respect.

Thank you, Dr Maté. Watching this video has been like a wonderful and for sure compasionate therapy session for free (thank you for posting!)

All respect to this wonderful teacher!

Wow! This is the best video I could bump in during my morning coffee. Thank you, Tim!

Love, love, love this. So powerful, so true, so simple.

This was a powerful lesson. thanks for posting! it felt like it was a private therapy session. just that it was filmed and put on yotube. thanks

OMG! It has just changed my life perspective. At the moment I am going through a certain situation, which made me question my own worthiness. I tried to imagine how I would be reacting to " assumptional disrespect" if I was feeling completely loved and valued. Emmm..... First, I faced some difficulty to feel it that way (!). When I finally did, I had noticed that there are possible other reactions then anger/frustration. In a state of acceptance I was more kind and empathetic myself. I suggest to everyone to go through this little experiment.

Omg what a powerful moment that I'm sure resonated with so many of us. Thank you for showing your vulnerability Tim. Both of you are wonderful peoole

5:51 ...and that’s what Trauma is. We don’t respond to the present moment. We respond to the past. Thanks for posting this conversation.

This also helps me to show others empathy. Its hard to know when you should let things slide and when to be assertive. This can help us do both. Or at least try to do both.

So beautifully put! Thank you Tim and Dr Maté 🙏🏻🤗

Thanks for the interview. The first time I watched this video few days ago, I didn't understand what Mr. Mate said about a lot of time, our emotional reactions are based on what happened in the past. Not what is happening now or currently happening. Now I understand.

Gabor is a legend 🙏🏽

@aammssaamm

4 жыл бұрын

He did not even get to the point. What is so special about him?

@cbappa2

4 жыл бұрын

@@aammssaamm are you slow?

@aammssaamm

4 жыл бұрын

Most likely you are :)

What an incredible conversation! Such a simple explanation about how all the negative stuff is coming from our own inner world! Really valuable advice and a technique that I plan to put into practice in my own life.

Love and respect for you both for sharing your vulnerability so honestly. Love from Iran

Seriously might be the best video I've watched all year.

Keep listening to this over and over again. Love how Gabor breaks the situation and how Tim openly and honestly admit and follow through

Absolutly beautiful conversation. Excelent example on how to discover our inner .... answers.

Wow! Just realized that it's "okay" to own states of mind; but not emotions. I noticed this as I watched Tim struggle to name the emotion; but have no problem describing his state of mind. I see this within myself.

Thank you Time for your honesty and openness. I am currently getting help for my mental health issues and yourself and Gabor have helped me to see myself in a positive light. Something I am trying my best to do. Your conversation with Gabor helps me immensely and I look forward to hearing more about your journey through recovery.

I really admire Tim's courage, and hunger, for this journey.

This has got to be of the most priceless pieces of advice I’ve seen on KZread.

Great insight, something every person caring for other people needs to learn...going to incorporate this and start teaching this as part of my work

this is a powerful brush with the good force. thank you.

Bold to share this Tim. The idea we do not react to the moment, but rather the remembered past, can open the door to chose a different path forward. We can begin architecting the person we want to become in these moments. And, add up enough of those reframed moments and your default will, more often than not, move you to a healthier initial reaction. Thanks Tim.

Great !!! This comes to me in the very right moment. Thank you to both of you

Goosebumps!!! This is the EXACT can of worms I am currently working through in therapy and I have been startled to find it is just as uncomfortable as working through specifics of trauma I endured. I am very grateful to see I am not the only person feeling uncomfortable with discussing sadness and unworthiness. ❤❤❤❤❤

I don't think I realized you had a channel. I've been living by many of your rules for a while. Thank you for showing people there are more options to life.

Gabor Mate - your wisdom, hard-earned, is wonderful to watch and learn from, and Tim, your bravery inspires viewers like me to be brave.

This exercise helped my immediately! I will not forget this! Thank you!!!!

Wow. This is seriously real. Tim, thank you for posting this.

Tim Ferris and Gabor Maté!!?? My faves by far! Looove it! Life time lesson in 7 minutes! 😍😍😍💚💚💚💚

I had to listen to this twice. Really gets to the core of the matter. I have work to do still.

Wow this just blew my mind, I have never considered the point of view here presented, childhood is the key almost every single time. Thanks for your precious knowledge Dr. Maté 🙏🏻

makes sense... can relate very well to this and more and more catching my self before negative thoughts start.. Thanks

Thank you for the gift of this video. I just came across it and it was exactly what I needed to hear.

Wow I chose this video after refusing to watch so many times and gratitude for you Tim and myself !!!

I literally love this man!

This might be my favorite video on KZread…ever. Thank you so much 🙏🏼

I needed to hear this again. Thanks for shortening the clip and sharing! Love Gabor Mate's work. And yours Tim.

@paulraymond5410

2 жыл бұрын

Hello HappyJiyoung That's a nice video.. Well How are you today? I wish you a happy day 🍒🌹💐

You are powerful because you can resolve the problem yourself, and you not depending on someone to change it or do something for you to fix what you feeling...you do the change, you fix yourself by fixing your perception that changes your feelings...you are on top of the situation and you probably have the strength to help the guy who committed to help you but was powerless to do so. In turn, you can be of help to him so he can be of help to you...

@Holeysocks464

Жыл бұрын

Or you realize the best thing you can do is grasp the significance of your lesson and stay out of the the other persons way so he can deal with his issues. Issues which you may have no ability to influence and to which your involvement may only delay his progress.

@hiseggcelency

Жыл бұрын

Or in other words you just don't care so don"t even try. Helping is super straight forward, just listening can help people realise a lot of things about themselves.

@Holeysocks464

Жыл бұрын

@@hiseggcelency no that’s not what I said. “ in other words” often assumes too much. No where did I say “ don’t care don’t try” . Circumstances can vary widely, I don’t think there is a one size fits all solution, as an example if you are dealing with a narcissist your strategy might want to be very different. It’s a big subject to discuss in short comments.

Love it. I can identify with this talk. Thank you. ❤

Dr. Gabor Mate, you are the best doctor I've had the pleasure to meet through KZread. There are no words to say how much I thank you for being so massively spectacular by how much you learned me. Forever you will have a special place in my heart, forever! You are the 1st I've known to love mankind as you do. With your amazing mind and loving care you l know will make everything better not just for me but for all. Without your knowledge I would still be lost broken and this addict I use to hate. Much love, respect, and gratitude sent your way babe. God bless you and yours, h Happy New year buddy! 2021

Tim Gracias amigo, keep the video interviews alive. Kudos & Saludos !

This is really good. Very practical questions and also very good answers to help to me resolve all the questions in my head. Especially , we are respond to the past not now.

This is very, very powerful. Great interview Tim.

Interesting, powerful learning this resonated with me so much. In my own experience and learning I feel I can now “respond” to the present instead of “reacting” to the past.

DUDE , bless you. thanks for this

Thank you so much you amazing man, you help me so much. My friends and I all share your links. I love following your talks and have just ordered your book "In the realm of hungry ghosts" After watching your interview about it. Thank you once more and have a beautiful life. You are so connected.

This is really great. I appreciate and respect Dr Mate. He makes so much sense. I love this experiment. How enlightening.

good on you Tim and good on you Gabor for holding your nerve

You have shown us Beautiful moment~! You did not side-way but in our lives, our own scenario, emotional moment matters, we may hold it until it bears a pearl, like how a shell holds onto its scar caused by the pebbles that it ate to create a pearl. My personal lesson was to Be compassionate to yourself in your past when you happened to re-visited that moment in the present.

Yes❤ when you see the source within ourselves, we feel powerful. Is is so liberating! Thank you.

The best youtube video ive watch for a very long time. Thank you for sharing this!

This was excellent! A short and sweet video that immediately shows you how, by reframing, your thoughts can bring you power. Damn. Nice.

Hey Tim, I should say aside from episode #97 with Naval this would come to my Top 10 Tim Ferris Show episodes. I love the vulnerability you showed. Also, I'm liking the new format of releasing clips and highlights. Looking forward to more of them. Thanks for posting this separately.

WoW - thanks for sharing that powerful, vulnerable moment Tim. It resonates!

I respect Tim for going through this. Gabor was piercing through any beating around the bush and getting direct to the trauma

Definitely how I perceived things is influenced by my own childhood and past experience and a lot of the times my emotions esp the negative emotions took over any clarity of mind. Growing up I felt I was always the slowest and not smart enough as I couldn’t respond to a situation quickly. But now ironically I would like to remind myself to slow down and try to step into the other person’s shoes and see things from a different angle. Often I found it will only do more good than harm to take a step back and observe the situation than reacting on my negative emotions. And I realise that although a lot of things are outside of my control how I react respond and feel about certain things and people are all within my control. And that is a great power I often forget and when I feel unworthy and unloved that is because I myself give away too much power to other people or circumstances. Let’s remind myself I always have that power - the power to control my thoughts, responses and feelings.

This is a great tactic for a lot of things, but not everything. You can’t reframe every kind of challenging moment of trauma in this way. This hits different after knowing of Tim’s trauma. Wish him and everyone lots of healing. ❤️

@cindyaho7757

Жыл бұрын

I agree. Sometimes we see our worth and others are doing things to get at us!?!

This is so revealing of ourselves. Who amongst us isn’t hurt or feel unworthy at times. Almost no one.

One of the most powerful, helpful videos on Utube..❤ Thank you

Tim huge respect for posting this - as someone else has pointed out - humble and gracious in receiving feedback - this clip is eyeopening. Great explanation and I am now behaviourising it to myself so it can be explained using some basic behavioural principles making it replicable!

Brilliant!! Thank u Gabor!!!🙏

Wow! So, it's me who is the source of feeling unworthy and disrespect. Thanks a ton Tim for sharing and being vulnerable. You got guts. From now on, I trust myself and I'm worthy. It's me.

@paulraymond5410

2 жыл бұрын

Hello Mamta N That's a nice video.. Well How are you today? I wish you a happy day 🍒🌹💐