Can we give a shoutout to my 5% non-binary audience. Love you guys.

@AroluciB

2 ай бұрын

epic

@hlpflalms

2 ай бұрын

Yo thanks

@pepperedfries3898

2 ай бұрын

Thank you Crispy, we love you too ♥️

@Spagettigeist

2 ай бұрын

Thank you ^.^ Being seen is very much appreciated!

@ramanzombie1914

2 ай бұрын

I technically fall into this so thanks👍👍

I'm straight, but I have been expanding my character set to include bi, ace, and gay characters. It's been interesting. Also, gotta love the hypocrisy of homophobes claiming that LGBTQ+ people make everything about sex and gender, when they do exactly that when they're in the DM seat.

@ArcCaravan

2 ай бұрын

I'm curious if a homophobe who didn't fetishize lesbians would somehow be better.

@aAaa-gj1lh

2 ай бұрын

"homophobes claiming that LGBTQ+ people make everything about sex and gender" No, thats just regular people, we do not appreciate when the first thing we know about you is who you fuck with, like , come on, cant we shake hands and leave the whole sexuality and gender mumblejumbo aside until it is actually important?

@KalinTheZola

2 ай бұрын

I think if handled respectfully and not just stereotyping based on preconceived notions, that's a very good and healthy way to explore experiences outside your own! Also that second part is soo true. I only really think about being trans at this point when people feel the need to bring it up as a foolhardy attempt to invalidate my identity and I don't push weird gendered stereotypes onto other characters or people, but by god that happens to people like me all the time.

@peytonmac1131

2 ай бұрын

I have never met anyone who is more obsessed over sex or gender than a straight cis-person. I've heard my mother say, "typical male" more times than I can remember. Or heard people at work speaking about relationships and how people look.

@OrangeyChocolate

2 ай бұрын

​@@KalinTheZola I do try and be respectful, without resorting to stereotypes. I've played a firbolg barbarian a couple of times who I wrote as gay, but his orientation never came up ingame.

Respect my Trans/NB homies or I'll identify as a problem!

@aAaa-gj1lh

2 ай бұрын

But then, whats categorized as disrespect? not going along with everything?

@TheShanicpower

2 ай бұрын

@@aAaa-gj1lhYou can’t choose to ”not go along” with a person’s existence.

@nuekagold7471

2 ай бұрын

Amazing👏👏👏

@DellikkilleD

2 ай бұрын

@@TheShanicpower literally no one is denying they exist lol. we just arent going to feel bad for using the correct words to identify or refer to someone.

@lukasbjornendermann9944

2 ай бұрын

​@@TheShanicpower i can ignore it

“You can’t be anything other than what you were born as!” “Okay well I was born a human but as I grew up I developed horns and a tail so I’m a tiefling now.” “I was born completely mundane, but a couple years back my magic kicked it, looks like I’m a sorcerer now.” “I died but something brought me back. Am I different to how I was born or does my resurrection count as Birth 2?” “I was born an elf but a god turned me into a goose. Which of the two forms is the one god intended when both were done by gods?” I’m sure I can go on, those are just some examples of just how much more stupid that mindset is in a magical fantasy world

@spuriusscapula6481

2 ай бұрын

And extending this to the real world: We were all born as non-sentient deformed potatoes that scream, eventually we become adults and the lucky ones of us became adults that don't throw a hissy fit if someone is trying to live their life authentically to themselves

7:51 Wizard: Is it on fire? Wizard’s “Brain”: It could be more on fire.

@lavieestbellexx

2 ай бұрын

Nice Hellsing Ultimate Abridged reference 🤭

@hummingbirdwof

2 ай бұрын

I see your in the middle of a fire here let me help *sets fire on fire* Like they always say fight fire with fire

"You can't be anything other than what you born" Says the man at a game where they're all things other than what they were born by default.

@TheDuelManiacs

2 ай бұрын

The rebuttal I plan to drop if that ever comes up is "How convenient that your character is a giant, screaming baby."

@crypticcryptid4702

2 ай бұрын

From people's personal experiences it sounds like they were born trans, so really that's a stupid argument anyway

@davidspring4003

2 ай бұрын

@@crypticcryptid4702 I don't know for sure if all trans people are born trans. The vast majority for sure are and any that aren't (which is most likely 0, but I'm not an expert in the field, so take everything I say with a Dead Sea's worth of salt) are still trans by natural effect and don't choose to be.

@costelinha1867

2 ай бұрын

I guess you're not allowed to play as Orc, Theiflings, Elves, Dwarves, Mechanical beings, you name it. Anything that isn't a boring human is not allowed. (Also the whole point of this game is for you to pretend to be someone you're not in real life, lol.)

@davidspring4003

2 ай бұрын

@@costelinha1867 also, no magic cause you can't do that irl. Or at least the only casting classes are wizard and warlock.

They really wouldn’t like the asexual succubus NPC in my setting

@kaylawoodbury2308

2 ай бұрын

"Hey big boy, would you like too... Play some chess? Or perhaps, read the same book so we can discuss it? 😏"

@Stachelbeeerchen

2 ай бұрын

Omg! A succubus going gor other desires! I mean the sex based ones are still awesome but that idea sounds fun.

@Spagettigeist

2 ай бұрын

Do they tempt people with food? I want some succubus to tempt me with delicious food *_*

@edwardcalvo4047

2 ай бұрын

You have one of those too.

@rootfish2671

2 ай бұрын

@@edwardcalvo4047 yeah I was inspired by Todd from Bojack horseman who is asexual and thought an asexual succubus would be the ultimate outsider

"I didn't ask how big the room is. I said I'm casting fireball."

Today we have three stories of people being weird over gender. Maybe we could round up these problem players into a group, so they can leave the rest of the population the heck alone.

@aAaa-gj1lh

2 ай бұрын

Gender and Sexuality should not be concerns in a fantasys etting where people take their heads out real world issues

@xionkuriyama5697

2 ай бұрын

​@@aAaa-gj1lhpeople existing isnt politics man

@aAaa-gj1lh

2 ай бұрын

@@xionkuriyama5697 "PeOplE eXisTing iSnt pOlitics" Bro, did you even think before typing that ? shoving your sexuality on people's faces is indeed reminding them that you exist, and exist in an annoying manner, making a big fuss about gender issues on a fantasy setting will remind people you exist, and also that you are a lunatic, you can absolutely be yourself, regardless of what you are, who you are, and how you feel, the issue is every time people like me hop on a fantasy setting, i am bombarded with gender identity discussion on a world where you have dragons, the LGBT community tiny little loud minority is being cherished while the cool gay guys and gals that are more than their gender identity and sexuality are thrown under the bus.

@M_M_ODonnell

2 ай бұрын

@@aAaa-gj1lh People say that and can mean either "let's just play in a world where nobody cares and sexism/homophobia/transphobia/etc. aren't present" or "I just want to play in a setting where nobody questions the supremacy of cis het men." Figuring out which one people mean can get awkward.

@aAaa-gj1lh

2 ай бұрын

@@M_M_ODonnell No, it can only mean "let's just play in a world where nobody cares and sexism/homophobia/transphobia/etc." because crying supremacy when you are not comformed that men and women that obey the most basic pattern in nature, that is, reproduction, are the majority.

I love exploring gender in many different ways with my characters. To me, depending on the character, it adds a much deeper level to who they are, especially if they aren't human. People forcing gender roles, especially in fantasy settings, annoys me since it takes away from world/story/character possibilities. Like yeah, when aliens come down from space, they'll have the same human gender roles and shit🙄

All I'm going to say about the teacher is that if they live in America, they're walking a literal knife's edge every time they interact with their students. All it takes is for one cis-het kid to accuse the teacher of being woke for defending the existence of lgbt+ kids in their school and that kid's parents can have a literal mob demanding the teacher's resignation. I literally watched this happen at our local school. Absolutely insane.

@Amara87387

2 ай бұрын

A shitty news anchor in our area outed a trans teacher and her job became a public debate. Fuck this country I want oht

People who are as committed as Gordon to upholding the rigid, arbitrary gender binary are people who *want* to be controlled. Of course, the way he treats women in his campaign makes me convinced that he's a fan of that loser Critical Drinker. It's really amazing what D&D can do for us. Back in high school, *I* was the DM, and as such D&D was the one safe space wherein I could explore gender identity. About a decade later I finally came out as trans (MtF) and things are better than ever! I'll always appreciate this hobby for how clearly it reflected the part of me I used to fear. 💜

@monikasernek1177

2 ай бұрын

Okay what did Critical Drinker do?

@Ryan91487

2 ай бұрын

​​@@monikasernek1177He is considered a bogeyman to people due to him talking about how in his words "The Message" contaminates media through overencroaching and writing soapbox characters and plot points. The problem people have isn't with what is different than what we consider the norm but how far people go with it to the point how an entertaining story gets butchered to reinforce it. Due to the overstepping, it has made people so exhausted that even the slightest discussion of those topics can send people into a frothing frenzy due to pattern recognition that things will go south and said topic and discussion will immediately be regarded as trash when they are introduced. Good will towards discourse has been butchered due to bad apples ruining the whole basket.

@dr3dg352

2 ай бұрын

@@Ryan91487 Or maybe people are just sick of Drinker specifically being obsessed with making sure women in movies and TV don't "overshadow" his precious golden men. x) Setting his deep-seated fear of "girl bosses" aside, the dude will just make an assumption about a situation, such as the One Piece creator's decision to reshoot some scenes in the live action adaptation, and present that assumption as concrete fact. That's just shitty discourse, regardless of one's point of view.

@Ryan91487

2 ай бұрын

@@dr3dg352 Overstep boundaries using an open hand to strike instead of guide when said media fails due to said overencroaching and that argument falls apart. When those pieces of media flop and those who are fed up are blamed for not watching it due to such heavyhanded trite and soapbox preaching, it just polarizes more and decimates any and all good will that makes discourse possible.

@monikasernek1177

2 ай бұрын

@@Ryan91487 Okay thank you for explaining. Also - the seventh son of a seventh son bs - Gordon screw up this up. OP character was the 7th child, but because they were not an male at birth - their character's younger brother doesn't count as the "seventh son of a seventh son". Its a folklore thing similar to the folklore in my home country, but with having 10 children of the same gender (meaning having only 10 sons or 10 daughters in a row) and then the 10th child get magical powers.

As a cis asexual dude, I play a non binary changeling and a bisexual woman… D&D is chill like that.

@kierstenburtz8442

2 ай бұрын

I'm a cis asexual lesbian and I play a nonbinary ace demiromantic and a lot of allo lesbians (because I'm a useless sapphic who just likes to see women kiss each other! Is that so bad? 😭)

@drakonlily

2 ай бұрын

It's one of the things that's excellent about D&D it can force you into a perspective you've never thought in before. Makes people more interesting and understandable in the long run.

@Pablo360able

2 ай бұрын

Matt Mercer's self-described self-insert NPC is Allura Vysoren, a bisexual woman.

@CarsonZXY

2 ай бұрын

This is the post that made me wonder if I found the most based and gender-pilled comments section on KZread.

“Eh! One more player can’t hurt!” -the last words of hundreds of campaigns.

I'm also asexual and I love you're "confused asexual moments" in your videos cuz it's insanely relatable and non-asexual people are just...confusing 😅

5:30 Something I do is what I call "scaffolding." By that, I mean I make sparse notes on places and things they may encounter and let the players and dice build the rest of the story. I only detail dungeons and points of interest to ensure we don't get bogged down.

@M_M_ODonnell

2 ай бұрын

Scaffolding and modular construction is my approach -- I have "building blocks" of encounters, dungeons, puzzles, political and/or religious conspiracies, etc. that are unfinished enough that they can be adjusted to fit whichever campaign I end up finding them useful in without starting from scratch. (I then have to remember which elements I've already used in a given campaign or with a given group, and hope that when I screw it up the group will either shrug and move on or decide to dig into the new mystery of these two mysteriously similar ancient catacombs and all of a sudden I have a new adventure to write before the next session!)

Crispy, as an ace non-binary person, you make me feel safe and heard. Just thought I'd tell you that! 🖤

When you said you might want to be a lesbian and showed your female character costume - you did make a very nice looking woman (prettier than I am.) As to that person's comment that you can't be what you weren't born as - oh so he or she was born a dwarf, elf, etc.,? Surprise Middle School.

Been watching Crispy for a few years now and it's so cool how much the show has improved and expanded. Crispy's hitting the right balance of reading the stories and having the little skits that make this chanel so much more than a regular 'read Reddit stories' channel. :)

I’m personally nonbinary so I tend to have the gender conversation pretty often during session 0, sometimes with follow up later for clarification if asked. Some of my characters are cis but I also have played characters that are more like myself in that they are very nonbinary. Most recently, one of my favorite characters right now, that I still actively play, is a character that appears male but goes by the pronouns of she/they. They are trans. The gender thing does not crop up as a regular theme and my group was super accepting and nonchalant about it. Most of them, after clarification was given during the first session I joined (it was an ongoing game and I was a later addition) has most of them using she but, by default, I use they. Some have switched to that pronoun because of that. I’ve only reexplained when one player wanted to do character art of a fun moment between the party with my character included and I clarified the build of my character being visually masculine (basically, my character has not done anything to really change their physical gender and is comfortable with that, especially with their more nonbinary leaning preference). It was still a very nonchalant tone to that conversation and was accepted quickly and the player showed me the art again after that reflected the build properly. It was really well done. Honestly? I’m pretty happy that the groups I have fallen into and play with are all very open and accepting of some of the LGBTQ+ themes I will include. It’s not like I throw it into anyone’s face but it also isn’t, and has never felt, like it’s merely tolerated whenever those themes come up. It’s always accepted with nonchalance and nonjudgmental tones and fully embraced and understood. Basically it’s treated very normalized and I really appreciate that. One recent conversation I had in another of my games, about a nonbinary character (fully they pronouns) was over the topic of romance and I had the great privilege of one of the other players picking up on how ace the character was and commenting on it and being excited when I confirmed that yeah, that was truly the identification of this character. That and I confirmed that the character was full stop nonbinary to the point it was just the pronoun of “they.” Again, the player who picked up on it and commented was really excited about that and the table ended up pausing and having a very excited conversation about the gender and romantic inclinations their characters were. The dm actually thanked me later because he said he hadn’t asked and felt awkward about asking now (game had been going a while by then) but really wanted to know for the sake of running the game in the direction we wanted and were comfortable with. He has made note of it and concluded about leaving out most romantic plot lines since the majority of the party is designed as ace for their characters. The few who aren’t will have the opportunity to pursue something romantic should they take the opportunities presented without pressure for if they choose not to. It’s honestly pretty cool and I love that we had this conversation. Like I said, I’m just really happy that the groups I play with are all so sweet and supportive and all my LGBTQ+ stuff is so normalized for them. It really makes me feel secure and happy and I can honestly say that these groups I gladly consider my friends. It’s just nice you know? To find your niche of a community that really clicks with and accepts you and all that you create. I also love that my various tables also always seem to adore my characters I create too. I haven’t really had a “miss” type of character yet. All of them, so far, have been quite loved by the other players. I hope it stays that way, even if statistically it probably won’t. Either way, I’m just glad. I just wanted to share so others know that it’s possible to find a very accepting community in the ttrpg hobby that normalizes all aspects of LGBTQ+. It is out there and I hope those of you who are looking for that, find that. Much love and appreciation for you all!

He/Him Lesbians can be a thing. If a trans guy identified as a Lesbian for years before his egg cracked, it's entirely reasonable that he would not want to abandon the Lesbian label simply because he finally realised he'd been a man all along.

@Koseishi

2 ай бұрын

He/him lesbians are not exclusive to transmasculine people, as well. It's not unusual for some butch lesbians to go by male pronouns, just as certain femme gays will use female pronouns. Queer understandings of gender have historically encompassed a variety of expressions and identities that were not accepted by standard society.

@DellikkilleD

2 ай бұрын

... lmfao

@clarehidalgo

2 ай бұрын

A transwoman I know randomly told me she actually did like He/him and to call her She/He for a while then went back to She/her later. I was really confused because she's done bottom surgery and right before she was complaining her girlfriend of several years broke up with her because she no longer had man parts. And all this was after not talking to her for 2 years, it was like we were normal chatting then suddenly tidal wave of over sharing

Props to the cosplay at the beginning my friend 😊

About prep: Back in the days of AD&D and AD&D 2nd Edition, I could legit run a 6-8 hour session with six players with about a page of notes and a rough-sketched map. But, back then, despite the books being pretty thick, the system was relatively rules-light. A DM would just have to wing-it with situations that match things like climbing checks, a character trying to make a snare trap, or trying to convince an NPC to help the party. But, the more rules-heavy a system gets, the more preparation is required for game sessions to run seamlessly. I hardly played at all for the life of 3rd edition, but jumped into Pathfinder and tried to run things the same way I did with 2nd edition. It took all of one session to realize how difficult that was if I wanted there to be any semblance of appropriate balance and challenge level for the party.

That Amity cosplay looked amazing. You rocked it! 😊

intro bit: i mean, my boyfriend is a lesbian. i'm a gay man. when you're transgender enough anything is possible

@GoodestPuppyGirl

2 ай бұрын

When you realize gender is a performance you can start to put on whatever show you want

@VeronicaSipe

2 ай бұрын

“Lesbian” is a very inclusive group, I have discovered.

@alliu6562

2 ай бұрын

The wonders of transgenderism never cease 🏳️‍⚧️

@pumpkinicing

2 ай бұрын

@@alliu6562 TRANS ENGIE PFP 🫵GOOD TASTE SPOTTED

@LucyBean42

2 ай бұрын

That's my story, and I guess I'd be tans lesbian too n_n Fun fact: he lasted a single session of my 3.5 campaign, cause my NPC grabbed his butt, and he got weird about it.

16:22 Ugh, I had a DM insist on that too. Thankfully he was more understanding when the player in question said they were uncomfortable with revealing that since it wasn't relevant to the character.

"More School Nonsense" submitter here: Firstly, so happy to see my story on the channel, my heart skipped a beat when I realized. I'm so happy to hear my feelings on these things validated because part of me felt like I was overreacting. Secondly, I'd like to clear Link's name. I did code name him Link, however the character was not based off Link. I think it was based off of some kind of bird god from Breath of the Wild (idk im not a zelda fan don't come for me) or something. I remember it being an aarakocra and having an R name. I just called him Link because the actual character seemed too obscure plus I obv can't remember what it was- 😅

@axuwu6939

2 ай бұрын

Sounds like it was Revali, does that sound familiar? Sorry, as a massive Zelda nerd, I can’t help myself 🤣

@alexbloopydoop

2 ай бұрын

@axuwu6939 YESSS!! That was definitely it because I remember me and him calling his character Ravioli!!

My DM (he's new but really good for a newbie) does a mix of taking notes and improvising based on the situation. He realized during our second session that these groups of skeletons were not only boring but also too easy for our current group, so he added this magical moss on them so that every time one died the moss collected the bones and joined them to another skeleton to make it bigger and stronger. By the end of it we had a skeletal kaiju attempting to drown our cleric in the rising water until we finally took it down.

I’ve found that my players and I have the best experiences when I throw away my notes (which I did make) and run the game based on vibes. “What makes this the most fun in the moment” is a really powerful tool.

Last story, the DM was trying to go for the gold in mental gymnastics but wound up showing her was a total toxic jerk.

this is the perfect little pick me up I needed after getting frustrated with some other program, i'mma grab a snack and something to drink edit: I'm just a hobbyist writer, not a DM, but even I can tell you it's frightfully easy to fall into the trap of "I don't need notes for this project, I'll remember!" you will not, and you will be mad at yourself for not taking notes. trust me.

Crispy: "Maybe I just wanna be a lesbian" then shows Amity blight cosplay Me: "Yeah, that's more or less how my egg cracked." (to clarify, this is said somewhat lightheartedly, people are who they are and figure themselves out in their own time, and there's no wrong answers, just that this is a very common early sign for transfem people)

Intro story: Ugh, what a homophobic jerk. Good thing the trash took itself out! First story: Oof. Poor OP really learned that lesson the hard way. Big props to the main DM for helping them out! Second story: That teacher kind of sucked. When you’re supposed to be the adult in charge, it is literally your job to step in when one of the kids is, say, being bigoted towards another kid! “oH i WoUlD hAvE sTePpEd In If ThInGs GoT bAd-“ Guess what, buddy? Bigotry is bad! Third story: OP. Buddy. I get that your partner and your friends were in this game, but WHY THE ACTUAL FUCK DID YOU JUST SIT THERE AND TAKE GORDON AND ASH’S NONSENSE?! If a DM disrespected me like that, I would get the hell out of their game immediately. For that matter, why didn’t your partner and friends stand up for you? I understand freezing up in the moment, but if they didn’t say or do anything after the fact, they were just enabling the jerks. If my partner and friends just stood by and watched when I was being treated badly, I’d be seriously reconsidering my relationship with all of them.

I think ttrpg gives the freedom to explore the queer parts of yourself more which leads to more people in ttrpg identifying as such.

Tales From the Loop is, at the moment, the closest we got to an ET/Stranger Things/the Goonies/Eerie, Indiana/Gravity Falls RPG. I have the book, the art is AWESOME.

@ArcCaravan

2 ай бұрын

How does that compare to Monster of the Week?

@damienhailey118

2 ай бұрын

@@ArcCaravan I've never read MotW, so I wouldn't know.

I am an ace/aro/cis woman and i have an agender character who is romantically interested in their male best friend I am currently playing that i absolutely adore. getting into their mindset about gender has been interesting, I also really had no intention of their being romantic attraction to the friend but it ended up happening anyways. Likewise, the games I GM in I have Male npcs who are romantically involved with a couple of the female characters/players and that has also been fine. Romance is mostly handwaved and anything sexual is always handwaved in my campaigns. (its a Veil for me personally)

The couples counseling skit absolutely killed me. 😂

The intro reminded me of an old story from the original City of Heroes forum, where someone posted a player character bio they had read. Said bio included among other things a reference to "Lesbian Hellions", Hellions being an all male gang. It turned out that the bio had been written by a kid, who knew that "gay" was usually considered a bad word that could lead to text being moderated, but they thought that men could be lesbians since women can be gay. Many chuckles were had at the quite inexpert writing, but to my recollection no one ridiculed it. One of the parents even joined the thread and thanked people for not being rude towards the kid.

@gregoryvn3

2 ай бұрын

City of Heroes had the best community. 😊

.... Hold on. People tell you your asexuality is not real?! I am confused, how is someone not being attracted by anyone not believable? Seriously, are people THAT convinced that being horny is a fundamental part of being alive?! Jeez!

@ArcCaravan

2 ай бұрын

I'm guessing they think "you just haven't met the right person yet" (spoken in goofiest Simpsons voice I can muster) and assume it's just choosing chastity.

@crypticcryptid4702

2 ай бұрын

@@ArcCaravan The number of times I have hear that has driven me up the wall. I don't even think people associate it with being horny, they just associate sexuality with love and assume when you say you're ace, that you're saying you will never find love. TLDR: we need better sex ed

@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083

2 ай бұрын

@@ArcCaravan Legit, when I identified as asexual (I think I'm currently just a transbian, honestly though, but I identified as ace at the time), I had a roommate who didn't understand that Acephobia was a thing. Like, he couldn't wrap his head around it, despite multiple attempts from me to explain it, but he also went on queerphobic rants sometimes. Like I remember trying to explain it as "People aren't cool with those who do not experience sexual attraction and think there's something wrong with them" and he couldn't wrap his head around it.

Having a few notes or encounters prepared ahead of time can really help. Whether it's to make something up when the players go off the rails or so you have a general idea of how the events unfold. While having no notes is possible, it truly tests your improv skills and ability to multi-task.

I remember SO MUCH of my plans/plots without having to look at my notes... but to do that, I still have to WRITE the notes first. Even if I only have to look at them once or twice a session, if I want to remember the plan, I need to write it down somewhere at least once. Also, having it all written down helps me remember what choices the players made last session, even if that was more than a couple weeks ago. Everybody prepares differently, but I do think writing your ideas down at least once, somewhere, to some degree of detail, is extremely important to any kind of preparation.

I can see the seam, but the split screen clone bit is a hard effect to pull off from what I understand. It’s pretty great for a first attempt!

@CrispysTavern

2 ай бұрын

Yeah, my lighting is in front, so it’s always gonna be a bit scrappy. Also I did the edit after I got drunk due to OTHER editing problem.

@zacharysieg2305

2 ай бұрын

@@CrispysTavern Ah well. It’s still a neat effect worth having in your toolbox.

4:53 This story makes me so glad that I had help from an experienced DM the first time that I tried my hand at DMing a session. It makes me want to call them and thank them…

I actually had something similar happen to me recently as the last story. I myself am not non-binary and fully identify as a girl, and I was planning to play a girl character. However, this particular character was an Archfey warlock. I decided to have a non-binary patron who took a lot of inspiration from The Owl House's character The Collector. I thought it would suit my character well and was really looking forward to playing with such characters. However, when I pitched the idea of my patron being non-binary to my DM, he refused to use the they/them pronouns and insisted on me choosing she/her or he/him. I was so confused and taken aback by this as this DM wasn't some random stranger. He's my best friend from college. I had never known him to have issues about the they/them pronouns and he never showed any signs about him having this kind of side of himself. When I came out to him as demi-panromantic/asexual, he was very accepting and supported me, so I didn't think he had much issues with the queer community. When I asked him about it, DM told me that he had some bad experiences with non-binary people. Whenever he used the wrong pronouns when addressing them while at work, quite a few of them would blow up on him and scream at him about his mistake without giving him the chance to understand and correct himself. Apparently, because of these rather rude customers he had to deal with, he now refuses to use the they/them pronouns. He also tried to argue that they/them are meant to refer to multiple people instead of a single person and that it was too weird for him to address a single person by such pronouns. I had arguments for both his his excuses as they literally made no sense to me. First, they/them do not only mean multiple people. They've had the meaning of addressing a single person for as long as non-binary people have existed, and they've existed for probably as long as any other gender. Even if we ignored the historical meaning behind words, language is constantly changing and evolving where words can have multiple meanings or we straight up make up new words. I'm an aspiring author, so I have a bit more understanding about words than my friend does. And I don't even understand slang! Second, while I can agree with my friend that those customers should not have yelled at him and made him feel so bad about his mistake without giving him a chance to understand his mistake, I can also sympathize with their frustration about being misgendered. Back in middle school, I got a horrible haircut that made me me look like a boy and was even mistaken as a boy. It made me really self-conscious about how others saw me. It REALLY didn't help that the whole reason why I got the haircut that led to this mistake of identity was actually supposed to be part of a celebration of me reaching a certain point in my life where I was becoming a woman and I thought shorter hair would make me look more mature. So, yeah, I could understand the frustration of my friend's non-binary customers must have felt when he used the wrong pronouns. I tried to explain how they must have felt using my own experiences, but he couldn't understand why it was such an issue or see the similarities of such situations. Since I wasn't a guy or non-binary, according to him, I couldn't compare. But that wasn't the point. The point was that I knew what it was like to be addressed by the wrong pronouns and how soul-crushing it can be. I kept trying to help him understand, but it seemed like everything I tried just fell on deaf ears. I ended up scrapping my plans to play the character as I felt like my excitement to play her got spoiled due to the situation of my patron's gender identity, as well as some other issues that came up with my character. I'm still friends with him and care about him, but I feel like I can never play any non-binary characters with him. If I ever get the chance to DM, I'd defiantly want to include some non-binary characters in my game and I'd want to invite my friend to play with me, but I don't know how to do both without being made uncomfortable by his refusal to use their preferred pronouns. I just feel like I'm caught in a lose-lose situation. I hope my friend does eventually learn to be more accepting and respectful of the they/them pronouns, but I don't know how to address it without an argument breaking out. I don't want to force him, but I don't feel comfortable letting him continue like this either. I just don't know what to do... The only thing I can think of that might have hinted at this about him was when I told him about my hopes to one day get surgery to remove my bust. I do fully identify as a girl and stuff, but I just hate having a bust at all and it makes me feel very insecure about my own body. The only time I feel like I'm really seeing myself is when I draw myself without a bust. I otherwise try to hide it as best I can. I'm not even large or anything. I just hate having one and it causes me a lot of personal stress. All I want is to feel comfortable in my own body, but I don't know how to do that so long as I have a bust. However, when I told my friend about this, he got visible concerned and actually tried to talk me out of it. I haven't changed my mind and still fully intend to get the surgery someday when I can, but it did surprise me that he tried to argue against it with me. Even after I told him how I felt, he still didn't approve. However, I don't think he'd suddenly stop being my friend if and when I get the surgery finally. It might take him some time, but I do believe he'd eventually get over it. Though, when I think back on that discussion we had, and now knowing his issues about non-binary pronouns, I'm starting to worry if he's got some issues about how someone identifies their gender in general. It's rather worrying to think about and I desperately hope I'm wrong. He's a great guy who doesn't hesitate to help his friends and cares a lot about others. I just wasn't expecting him to have such views about gender identities.

@ArcCaravan

2 ай бұрын

While I don't want to offend your friendship or victim blame him for getting yelled at, it sounds like he's using a bad experience as an excuse to to discriminate.

@Midnight3Wonder

2 ай бұрын

@@ArcCaravan Yeah, I got the same feeling, too. I tried to talk to him about it, but it nearly turned into a major fight. We had never fought before, and I'm not the confrontational type, so I just didn't know what to do even though I know his views were wrong. He's still a great guy and I'm lucky to have him as a friend, but this really took me off guard. I know that I should do something, but I don't know what to do. My friend really is a great guy. I honestly don't know where the heck this mindset came from. Aside from this weird gender identity thing, he's an amazing guy. I just don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation. For now, all I can do is just try to avoid the topic with him until I feel like we're in a good place to talk about it with level heads. I realize he probably doesn't consider it a big deal, but I'm genuinely worried about it. He's always been willing to listen to me whenever I tell him something is bother me, so hopefully he'll understand just how serious this is when I finally feel comfortable enough to talk to him about it.

@nuekagold7471

2 ай бұрын

Good luck with your surgery and have a fast recovery🩷 about non-binary issues… it’s really hard to change someone’s views on topic unless they are willing to change and learn that not everyone is the same. I hope your friend will get more understanding over time💜💛

@DellikkilleD

2 ай бұрын

non binary and identify as a girl.. you cant make shit this up

@Midnight3Wonder

2 ай бұрын

@@nuekagold7471 I haven't had the surgery yet. I haven't even had the chance to talk to my doctor about it yet. I have spoken to my family and friends, and aside from my one friend I mentioned, they were all supportive of it when I explained myself to them. I felt like I should talk to my loved ones about it first before I mention it to any doctors. Wouldn't want to accidentally proceed with anything with my doctors before mentioning anything to my loved ones first. My mom even promised to help me make it happen someday. As of right now, it's more of a hope than something I'm actually preparing for. I do hope my friend does realize his mistake and will be willing to understand and accept things a bit more. He's normally really openminded and accepting, so I'm honestly puzzled by his reaction to the they/them pronouns. I'm not sure how stubborn he is about it since it only came up that one time, though he did seem pretty resistant to try. Maybe if I try to talk to him about how much I'm worried about him about it, maybe he'll be more inclined to listen. He's got a bit of soft spot for me and is like a big brother to me, so I'm hoping he'll be more willing to hear things out once he realizes how worried I am about him for it even after several months. A girl can hope for the best in others, right?

Legit and serious question here. How does one explore their identity through role-playing these characters, especially ones like asexual or non-binary? How does it translate into their real life identity? I am actually confused and curious about this, so I apologize if it comes off in a bad way. I mean no disrespect to anyone and am just seeking clarity from the Crispy Tavern community. Hope you all have a wonderful day!

@dr3dg352

2 ай бұрын

Good afternoon! I can only come at this from my life as an openly trans woman. Throughout high school and college, D&D was my way to safely express my gender while I was presenting as male in my daily life. It was extremely liberating being someone like Eugenie the Warrior Priestess or Verity the Bard Damsel in D&D, where I could finally feel like my true self for a few hours. It took me until late 20s to finally start transitioning to female, but D&D helped me be comfortable with presenting myself as a woman, and showed me how accepting my friends would be. I imagine this would be the same for someone who's non binary (NB). You could drop your perceived gender and play a character who looks more like your authentic self, or how you wish you were. I've played D&D with an NB friend who made their character NB as well, and they were so fun to play with in Curse of Strahd! Can't help you with asexual as I very much am romantically attracted to women, but I find it fascinating how Crispy, while ace themself, habitually plays lesbian NPCs in D&D. Regardless of how you go, these games will always give you the chance to be someone else. 🙂But sometimes, that "someone else" is closer to the real you than you might realize in the moment.

@ArcCaravan

2 ай бұрын

I'm guessing it has to do with less pressure or consequences compared to real life. Or it could be like practice. Granted I have no experience to say for certain.

@LucyBean42

2 ай бұрын

It's a safe environment to be authentic when you're otherwise not able to be. When the world only sees you as a man, it's nice to be able to be the sparkly princess gay girl on the inside for a while with people who won't make you feel bad about it.

@unhackerthelaziestbastardo6083

2 ай бұрын

Legit, it's just because it gives you a way to enthaise and be more authentic to yourself without the pressure of being out IRL. It can just help someone figure a few things out. I myself am closeted transfemme, and it provides a safe way to figure a few things out. (Also, as a bonus, you can figure out a name for yourself while doing so) Basically, as Erika Ishii put it, their D&D characters kissed girls before they figured out that they wanted to do so, similarly, their characters used they/them pronouns before they did.

5:19 if you don’t have anything prepped, what is there for the players to undermine????

can confirm, TTRPG characters are a great medium for self-exploration. my D&D main started, like me, as a cis woman. they later became agender, then a few months later, so did i. a couple years later they started leaning much more masculine, then i ID'd as a guy. in their most recent campaign i decided actually, they're genderfluid. freaking guess what i just found out about myself.

A bunch of new editing tricks in this one. I see you Crispy, levelling up your editin' game. Nice video as always.

Your Amity cosplay was pretty good!

I always love to see these!

I tend to make very few notes pre-game but spend multiple hours planning out general pathways and a few specific elements like combat encounters or NPC interactions then take notes in-game on what my players do. It generally works better for me as it let's me allow the players to do whatever madcap, off the wall nonsense they come up with and add it into the game world.

Whenever I prep a game, I always go with the premise of making sure the bones are sturdy so everything else can be played with. It's easy to make things up when you know what pieces are in play

It's bloody stupid for these people to try and "debate" our existence with us. That shows a real lack of security on their part.

In defense of the teacher in one of these stories, getting involved in that conversation in any meaningful way could cost me my job and the ability to teach at all in my state.

"I thought guys could be lesbians!" Me, a former guy who became a lesbian: (Lol)

From what I've read and seen, Spelljammer is a really interesting setting. It has a lot of really whacky and out there ideas, which can lend it to being a little goofier than other settings. The main problem with Spelljammer in 5e, aside from the big issue of lacking some of the most basic things you'd need to run it (seriously, they didn't make any rules for ship combat in a setting that revolves around FLYING SHIPS), is that what little they put in took away some of the things that made Spelljammer unique.

@ml3starman386

2 ай бұрын

In 5e, they just put it in the astral plane. Whereas in 2e, the adventures took place throughout Wildspace or out in the rainbow sea of the Phlogiston. Spelljammer was also a way to connect different D&D settings. You could take a spelljammer from Toril in the Forgotten Realms, fly out of the atmosphere, reach the edge of the solar system, exit the Crystal Sphere which contains said solar system, reach a different Crystal Sphere by flying through an the Phlogiston, than you could reach Krynn, (Dragonlance), Oerth (Greyhawk), or your own homebrew setting.

Awwwww. Amity cosplay looked cute :) Good job on it

I generally try and be somewhere been a few notes to tons. My world lore has alot of content, i just have to use it.

Yeah, I had a group decide to roll d4s for one of my characters to determine her breast size. I was basing the character's look on Lydia McKracken from Gold Digger (though completely different personality). So I was more than a little bit annoyed, but still hadn't learned the "no TTRPG is better than bad TTRPG" at that time.

Fun fact about story 2 if you're using canon spacejammer lore space is INSANELY FLAMMABLE and any fire lit will literally explode in your face

Looking forward to your new podcast!

I had a DM (and close friend of well over a decade) tell his own girlfriend that she had to pick a sex for her nonbinary character. It ended up tanking the campaign before it even began. Anyway, flash forward a few years, I came out as mtf, he told me "ywnbaw", and we haven't spoken since.

Spelljammer, fun concept executed well in older editions and badly on 5. Its very brief overall.

Was that a Professor Putricide reference? Well, well, a fellow man of culture. Guess I have to subscribe now.

In the case of prep, I tend to line up my social encounters a little more than the others in terms of more "solid" details. There's usually a couple notes on what I'd like to hit on, maybe a line or two I'd like to use if I can think of them, a reminder on an accent I might've used to voice the characters that could be come across. For challenges, it's mostly just some ideas for how they could be overcome, how difficult it's supposed to be, but as often as not, I just plop a thing down and we discuss what we want to do, and what rolls they'll need to make to get there. Lots more fun that way. Combat can go either way, but will usually involve statblocks at the very least, or bestiary reference numbers. The more important the fight, the more thought I put in to what's going to be faced, so severity is felt keenly.

Gonna be real, the sponsor did the right thing. If it actually went further, they should have stepped in, but letting you figure interpersonal issues yourselves is a severely vital skill that most people just don't have right now.

the putricide voice for the plague doctor squishable GENUINELY had me laughing so hard!

doing the chang "GAAAYYYYEEEEE" line is always funny

As someone who will be running spell jammer in the near future the book itself not counting the pre made adventure is akin to a skeleton picked mostly clean so yes in a sense it's bad but looked add another way there a lot of potential to flesh out the lore and world yourself and there is nothing wrong with useing some 2e stuff to help

Players and new DMs are always worried about learning their skills. Honestly i find skill rolls one of the most intuitive, lowest stakes learning curves in the game. There are a couple you should read up on, but otherwise it will become apparent as you play more.

The 5e spelljammer book outside of the absolute insanity of the hadozee feels like such a nothing book to me that I can't really form an opinion on it.

14:29 Hey, D&D can be pretty traumatizing ok? Ask Crit Crab.

Sorry, but i am often amazed how sensible some of those people are... “someone had a different opinion than me, and that caused me to almost have a panic attack“ I always want to ask “how are you able to survive in the outside world?“

You make my ❤ happy crispy

I haven’t played 5e spelljammer but a prior edition was the system of dnd I was introduced to. I really enjoyed it but being in wild space was the worst place to use fire. In that old edition ships had a finite amount of breathable air and using fire of any kind burned up the air. Terrible to use on your own ship but great to use on enemy ships. You could burn up all the air before their ho was gone. Unless, of course, they got too close. Then your air bubbles merged and could cause problems

Im reminded of some of the conversations ive had with a gender apathetic friend of mine, and yea, i find cishet folks think about gender as much, if not more, than the trans folks i know, except that the cishet thoughts about it are so much more often a myopic, entirely self focused, idealization. I love when i get to meet cishet folks who dont fall into that, but its unfortunately been increasingly uncommon with the obsessive manner in which most are exposed to the topic these days, by the worlds most prominant transphobes. Everyone can explore themself, and develop a better understanding of themself and of others, through listening to others, and genuinely seeking to develop that understanding, and ttrpgs can play an incredible role in that process, when folks are up for it.

It says a lot to me that the homophobic/transphobic DMs in these stories also usually suck at making their game fun for any of their players. It's almost like antisocial behaviors exclude you from healthy participation in social games or something.

7:26 A thing many people tend to forget about Fireball is that it is a ball made of fire.

Was invited to a RIFTS game with 14 players, each with 2 characters, the worse part was ALL books were usable.

The amount of prep (and with it, notes) I'll have is very contingent on what system I'm running. For something like D&D? Yeah. I'll have a bunch of notes of things I'm expecting to happen, or a timeline of events if the PCs don't do anything, and for D&D style games especially I'll absolutely have a few encounters ready; likely a bit more than I'm expecting to need for the session in case things go faster than I expect. For something like Escape From Dino Island... I'm not sure what prep I realistically could do aside from reading over the system designed for a one shot (that depending on choices both you and the players are going to make during setup will play out vastly differently each time you run it).

For the most part, being a GM requires preparation *and* being able to abandon the plans when needed. (The exceptions I've had fun with are mostly improv-heavy one-shot-focused games where the lack of planning is part of the point.)

Hey, I know where the image on the Thumbnail comes fron. The announcement trailer for Galakrond's Awakening, the Hearthstone mini-expansion/adventure.

@CrispysTavern

2 ай бұрын

Still jam to the music from those 2 expansions to this day. Fond memories. Did you spot the other WoW reference in the video?

@kurt50alien

2 ай бұрын

@@CrispysTavern More of a just HS guy than WoW in general. And yes, Saviors of Uldum slaps, only topped, imo, by Fractured in Alterac Valley. Rounding out my top 5 is Onyxia's Lair, Descent of Dragons and either Deadmines or Festival of Legends.

As a non-binary person, it was honestly so moving to hear you describe the last story in the way you did. Took their whole character, abilities, who they are, why they adventure, etc. and reduced them to their pronouns. It's such a weird thing to fixate on about a person, crazy that trans/non-binary folks are the ones having to tell you that your gender doesn't matter like that, but honestly... Their gender is none of that dude's business anyway, nosy asshole, why's he gotta cross boundaries and try to make the whole game about condemning their character? IDK how people call themselves adults, acting like this.

To be honest... when Wiz Crispy burnt the place down, I expected them to say that it was because there was a spider 😅

I really need to get my stories together

These stories about people being weird/intolerant towards people of different genders/sexual or romantic orientations is part of the thing that sometimes scares me of trying to get into TTRPGs.... well, that and me just being anti-social in general.... I've seen enough stories about people being weird towards aro/ace people to know that I must be careful about that in some groups...

deadspace remake: Actually that graffiti was in the original Dead Space

You know New Player 2 probably had a crush on Besr Friend

I wanted to play as a pregnant, female tiefling since high-school, long before my egg cracked 😅

I am in my first campaign and I am the total opposite. I over prepare and most of my notes carry over to the next session or scrapped. Tomorrow... is gonna be different. Sigh. Session 20 of my first campaign and I am blanking out.

@OrangeyChocolate

2 ай бұрын

If you're drawing a blank, you might be getting burnt out. It's okay to take a step back every now and then, maybe see if somebody else wants to run a one-shot or a short 2-3 session adventure. You'd be amazed at how refreshing it can be. Also, I know how tempting it is to overprepare. I do it all the time. The key is to only prepare what you really need: a couple of key npcs, the major buildings of a settlement, what monsters your players are going to fight, maybe a battle map if you're feeling frisky. It may be tempting to create an entire elaborate backstory for the village candlemaker, but that energy is better spent on the stuff your players are most likely to run into.

dont make jokes crispy. thats how i ended up as a lesbian

Every time I play a Changeling, they're always NB because ya know...no shit.

I used to wish I could be a lesbian and now I am one

Not story length story. But after many years of no role-playing games. Almost started up. But the GM was like. All pronouns must be he or she. No they. I'm not nonbinary. But. For a person to make this a criteria whether to be allowed to play or not... bad taste in my mouth. I was embarrassingly so desperate to play a RPG game tho... i relented forward to a session zero. Nothing crazy happened at session zero. But i couldn't shake off the anti-they rule. I couldn't ignore it. I dropped out after session zero

Crispy is probably my favorite lesbian icon

"Maybe I wanted to be a lesbian" Yea, there's a word for that

We respect the trans/enby homies in this house 🙏 and we respect you being AceAro too, Crispy! 💜

I have a story that I don't think of as a horror story because of how short it was. It starts like this. The two important people in the story are me and DM, we were playing in a middle school club, and I played my tiefling necromancer, who I thought of as asexual (I didn't tell anyone about this) they were a woman and identified as she/her (will be important later). It was in a school-based setting that dnd campaign takes place. So my character was walking in the school halls and had an encounter with another student that I think the dm tried to make it oddly sexualized. My character then proceeded to get knocked out, and when she woke up, she was tied to a bed with this student (I think she had little clothes on at this point). I then had her respond in a way I thought it was reasonable. She broke the bonds and preceded to punch the other student in the face. It's at this point I think he describes the other student as also been tied to the bed. Then he reveals that there are a bunch of other students around they all are girls, and he says that it was just a prank to by the girls of the school. My character then gathered up her clothes, I think flip them off, and leave the room. That's my only horror story. If you don't share this, I at least hope you enjoy it as much as you can enjoy a rpg horror story.

I know a guy who claims he doesn’t do prep. Not sure how well they go as I’ve never really played in a game of his. For me thought I like prepping.

Anyone who says don't prepare because players will do something different is not giving good advice. Better advice is to prepare problems but not solutions because the players are bound to try something you haven't thought of. If you plan for them to break into a house through the doors or windows, they'll try to get in through the chimney. If you cover that, they'll tunnel in from a neighbouring house.