As a 50 years old Turkish Canadian woman with one teenage and one adult children , I respect and admire you. It is not easy to do what you do, opening up about your reality, being vulnerable in front of people that you don't even know.. I am not a transitioner or a detransitioner, regardless, I support your cause. Kudos to you , youths and young adults like you.

@anitaarchambault1225

4 ай бұрын

Did you hear the Supreme Court of Canada has stated that the word woman is confusing, biological women are now persons with a vagina.

You brought tears , because of your fairness and universal love, for each person, in this society. Bravo Alexander!

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thank you.

@TheReluctantVlogger

4 ай бұрын

Alexander has brought tears to my eyes on a few occasions. Such powerful words said with so much love and grace.

@TheReluctantVlogger

4 ай бұрын

I’m so deeply grateful that I’m 37 now and not 12. I genuinely believe I would’ve been caught up in this myself had I been given the chance as a kid. I really appreciate what you said about having gender dysphoric feelings without being trans. I’d never thought about it like that before. And of course, it’s tragically common for our parents and religious upbringing to be the most traumatic part in all the ways we relate to our sex, sexuality and gender. That was certainly the case for me. There’s so much darkness in this world, and you’re doing a wonderful job of shining some light on it ❤️

@ZFabia2010

3 ай бұрын

@@TheReluctantVlogger so happy for you , that you are where you should be!

Both same and opposite sex attracted, gnc people have been deeply hurt by the concept that the problem lay in their bodies being wrong as they are and socially and/or medically modifying it, is the correct solution. I admire your effort to bring more understanding between people.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thank you.

Big props to you for coming at this from a nuanced perspective, that doesn't degrade or put down others' perception. It's so tiring seeing people dehumanize eachother and not realising how that's the biggest disservice to finding common ground. Bless you!

Your conception of very masculine men as simultaneously being "insensitive" is very interesting which illuminates at least some of the reason why you concieved yourself as being a woman. Some of the MOST sensitive and caring men I have known looked like the wrestler in your clip. One of the most abusive, was a long haired new age yoga instructor.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

I no longer think that very masculine-looking men are necessarily stone cold. You're right. I think that way of thinking is hurtful to a large amount of men. Btw, all that new age stuff is very cult-ish so i'm not surprised in the slightest.

@Gingerblaze

4 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 appreciate for your thoughtful response.

@ChristinaChrisR

4 ай бұрын

I certainly have seen that in my own life and relationships.

@9395gb

4 ай бұрын

Agreed. I have a friend who is a military service member, married to a woman, masculine, but also very empathetic and sweet. I'm not sure where any of these extreme concepts come from, but they are likely based on people's own family upbringing but not on society as a whole.

I am MtoF trans. Before coming to terms with this I was attracted to women. Now, I am attracted to men. Years ago when I spoke to my therapist about my desire to be a woman and my identity as one, my therapist saw me as gay and suggested I find a man. I was self-aware enough to know this is not me. Just as it is wrong to convince homosexual people into thinking they are trans, it is equally a mistake to convince a trans person they are homosexual. Conversion therapy for trans people is just as inappropriate as conversion therapy for homosexual people. Alex, it is sad you did not come to terms with being gay before transitioning. While it is clear this happens, for nearly all people identifying as trans this does not happen. They will tell you their lives as are better because they took the path of transition. For me, it is sad that I did not transition at an earlier age. My transition would be easier if I did. I lived many years without transitioning and was an unhappy person. Now, after transitioning, I am more connected and loving. My life is better. I have to disagree that your story will not be used by transphobes to discredit the trans experience. It is a difficult point because I think your story is credible and worth telling. I am happy to see your continued support for people who are truly trans. If you have gender dysphoria, as distinct from body dysphoria, does that mean you are trans? I would contend in most cases the answer is yes. Though I find it hard to comprehend, I suppose someone can have gender dysphoria and still want to live as their birth sex. If you do not have the desire to live as other than your birth sex, I would consider you are not trans. Having or not having gender dysphoria is not an exclusive criterion for being trans. I hope you post this comment. I fully accept many of your arguments and that they can help people decide if transition is right for them. But, at the same time, your message will be used by many people to discredit the trans experience.

I'm so happy you feel comfortable in yourself. That's rare no matter whether you're trans or cis. Proud of you!

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thanks.

@Red.Rabbit.Resistance

4 ай бұрын

how do you distinguish a detransition if you call them cis? Is this how we erase the terminology?

@crazycatzg3481

4 ай бұрын

@@Red.Rabbit.Resistancei dont think we should use the term cis to address a biological sex person, there’s no good compliment that could go with it

@Red.Rabbit.Resistance

4 ай бұрын

@@crazycatzg3481 I agree with you. I think just man or woman, works fine.

@Sad_bumper_sticker.

4 ай бұрын

@@crazycatzg3481analogously, you also don’t call yourself heterosexual because “homosexual people don’t really exist, there are only ‘confused’ people who are brainwashed into thinking thry are homosexuals because they believe in gender stereotypes or were s.abused so they confused people need abusive “conversion therapy” to “pray the gay away”. LGBTQ people have existed forever only they hid away. PS This person is unwell: they are repeating ALL THE ANTI-TRANS RHETORIC POINTS and claiming “trans people are just repressed homosexuals”. And repeating the anti-trans talking point about trans people regretting top surgery. This is sad.

My only reaction is compassion for allthe suffering you endured and are srtill enduring. I feel you very much.

Emotional rollercoaster here started off making me laugh now im about to cry. So good of you to say this stuff. Thank you for writing and sharing this. 🙏

I have to say, you have such a beautiful personality and soul. I wish more people online expressed themselves like you. Having the fast-paced, energetic, tense debates or arguments might have a place, but we need to expand the place for calm, peaceful, and thoughtful discussions like this. Thank you.

I transitioned* about 10 years ago and I wholeheartedly approve this message 💚 Keep up the bridge-building!! You have a vision and a gift. And you’re right, forces beyond us would love noting more than constant drama between our “opposing factions.” Let’s never give them that satisfaction. Also, fwiw I’ve gotten no surgeries and have no plans to. Testosterone costs me ~$200-300/yr, including the doctor’s appts, without any insurance. THAT is worth it to me; I love my squared shoulders, vascular forearms, deeper voice, and thicker hair (even if it means having it in inconvenient places, like my back lol). But the surgeries? Those do not seem worth it to me, at all. Expensive, risky, and still pretty crude. Zero hate to those who get them, and I wish them well, but I fully agree with your perspective that people should be fully informed of the sobering truths and risks before moving forward. If I could push a button and magically have a 🍆? Sure, ok! But that’s not how it works, so I’m not going to spend my life crying over spilt milk. My body and I have come to a truce - I pass fully as male with my clothes on; and with my clothes off, well, I have satisfying sexual relationships with partners who see me as I am, beyond my body, and yet also enjoy my body as it is. That’s all good enough for me ☺️ I also really appreciate your point that gender dysphoria isn’t exclusive to transsexuality. It’s funny: while there were clear signs of transsexuality from my earliest memories, I’d say I experienced probably less gender dysphoria than most who transition, and less than many who aren’t trans at all. I wasn’t a tomboy, but neither was I a girly girl. I hated wearing dresses if it meant I was categorized differently from my male peers, but enjoyed wearing dresses and even princess jewelry if we were playing make believe, or if my older brother’s friends joined in with me (Alex, you were a real one for playing Pretty Pretty Princess w/me that one time lol). What I wanted was, quite literally, to be male. Even alone in my room. I wanted to look in the mirror after a shower and see different shoulders. I wanted to wear my brother’s clothes and not see how my curvier shape distorted the fabric. One time I lost my voice from a cold, and was transfixed by how much more natural the gravelly tones felt coming out of my throat (and I already had a low voice for a female, even being put with the tenors in choir once). Now that I’ve transitioned, I wear what I want. Even though I live as a man, I still wear jewelry, silk blouses, and even nail polish. Why? Because I like them! I always have, but now I finally feel like I’m wearing them as myself. Before transitioning, I often felt I couldn’t wear so-called “feminine” items because, deep down, I felt they gave others the wrong impression. Before I realized transitioning even existed (I was sheltered lol; Bible Belt America + homeschooled/Christian private school), I used to say “yeah ok, I like shoes - but I don’t like them like a woman likes shoes.. I like them like a gay man likes shoes.” Friends would say “what does that even mean?” and I just said “…I don’t know.” Now I know: I identify as a man, and none of the unnecessarily gendered clothes, habits, hobbies, or interests make that any more or less true. (* I don’t call myself “a trans person” bc for me it’s not part of my identity, just an old-news part of my medical history)

@DannyD-lr5yg

4 ай бұрын

Also, sorry this is basically novel-length.. and please excuse and typos or poorly explained bits 😅 Was listening on my lunch break, and typing on my tiny phone screen.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thanks. I'm glad you arrived at this place where you're comfortable with how things are. Those surgeries are hurting not just detransitioners but trans people as well. No worries, i thought your comment was perfectly comprehensible. And i don't usually call trans people "trans" either unless it's of the importance for the context's sake. And i don't call myself a detransitioner either (outside of my KZread content and spreading awareness.) Take care brother.

@carinagomezfernandez7473

4 ай бұрын

I understand your feelings. I am also ftm. I did have top surgery, but I am still in doubt about the hormones. I don't want bottom surgery and I don't want to become bald or get vaginal atrophy. I have a lesbian background. After I realised I am trans, I fell in love with a transman and discovered that I am a gay man inside. This is hard to explain to other people. But I never fit in the lesbian community. Although I never had a relationship with a man, I always liked gay culture more. I am very much in doubt about the testosteron. When I dress myself masculine people assume that I am a butch lesbian (which I am not). But the idea of becoming a patient for life also scares me. I don't want to be dependent on synthetic hormones for the rest of my life. But I also don't want to be seen as a butch woman. So this is really a hard decision for me to make...

@salvolondon

4 ай бұрын

@@carinagomezfernandez7473don’t get testosterone , you’ll ruin your life . Can’t you just accept yourself as a butch lesbian ? Cause that’s what you are . I am sorry you felt the need to mutilate your body , that’s irreversible unfortunately.

@meh.4161

4 ай бұрын

@@carinagomezfernandez7473 "After I realised I am trans, I fell in love with a 'transman' and discovered that I am a gay man inside." You may have good intentions, you are trying to figure shit out for yourself but that is so incredibly offensive. Gay men are adult male homosexuals. Deep down you already know that if you are ftm, and you say you dress masculine and have a lesbian background....yea that's cause you are a butch lesbian. And that's awesome! Even though right now you don't think it is. And I am sorry that society shits on women, all women, including butch women. Life sucks. But my brother is a gay man. And you are not. You never will be. He's had a hard time in this life, like a lot of people. But you will never understand what it's like for him - to be him, navigating life as a gay man. It has it's own hardships. I think that you think your life will be easier living 'as a gay man' rather than as a butch lez. It sounds like you need to work on self-acceptance. This is something that almost everyone that doesn't fit in has to do sometimes. Be good to yourself, you don't want to be a medicalized patient for the rest of your days.

Thank you from the bottom of our hearts. I’m trans and we are all living in this crazy time. Thank you for speaking your truth with confidence. Thank you for saying what’s you’ve said. Please keep speaking out. They don’t want to hear you they don’t want to hear your truth and the TRUTHS.

This is such an important video! Thank you for everything you have said. I fully agree with you. Common ground is so important.

Thank you for sharing your perspective Alexander and blessings on your path.

This has been the most positive message I’ve seen directed towards lgbt this year. Thank you!

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thanks.

Please join Alexander's Patrion or support his work in another way. He is a force for good.

really happy i found this video, its beautiful, thank you for sharing this part of yourself! im also glad you are not someone who completely rejects trans people after detransitioning, I wanna hear ppls stories on detransitioning but mostly just find anti-trans ppl who afterwards project on every other trans person. :( Thank you! Im a trans woman myself but I sometimes missed being more androgynous, so I was thinking of detrantistioning, so I wanted to hear a lot of different perspectives.

Hello Alexander. You have the same name as my son. You are a really great guy.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thanks.

@christianefiorito3204

4 ай бұрын

Its just the truth and ylu deserve to be happy

"I didn't want to be a man, but I didn't want to be a female either." " Some parents would have their children transition and pass as the other gender than be thought gay", Both comments are thought provoking.

I would like to start with that im sorry that you went through gender transition when you are not trans. I can emphasize with that pain. I don't think your call to action was very clear. I think it is a given that no one wants cis people to transition and understand that it is awful in the cases that it does happen. For children, there are strong guidelines for transition(not saying that every doctor follows these when they should). These guidelines are for adults too but sometimes we don't need guidance and just know. Personally, i knew i was trans and when i was an adult i got a prescription without going through all the hassle. Adults deserve autonomy to make these decisions. It sucks when we are wrong but we should still have that freedom. It is on you to make the right choices for yourself. I do think everyone should have better access to detransition medical care though. The comparison of gender transition to conversion therapy is a transphobic framing. The person's sexual preferences are not changing. Very few people if any would prefer someone be trans than gay. Conversion therapy is about "normalizing" someone and it is just not a thing that people think turning people trans is "normalizing." Side note: it makes very little sense why GCs use this talking point. They don't think it is possible to change one's gender so there cant be a conversion.

As always you communicate your message with grace. Thank you.

I'm a detransitioner that in the end was just a gay man with Autism & ADHD. I wish I was tested for autism before as I think that would have helped me realize I'm not trans.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Same here. I was diagnosed after I transitioned.

@13:11 -- _"I think it's important that we officially acknowledge that gender dysphoria is not exclusive to trans people."_ Well said! Thank you!

Alexander, a moving and insightful letter for every human being to read or listen to as you read it to us today. I reckon I have viewed all of your videos and learned from every single one. You speak with understanding and love, about understanding and loving one another. You describe different types of men and you are correct. Instead of the identify politics we need to help young and old understand that the wonder and magnificence of being human is all the multi layers and complexities of each one of us and that all of us are UNIQUELY ourselves. And that is perfection, as is. Not to say that transitioning is not good or not tough and sometimes even a mistake, but that we are just fine as who we are and it takes time to truly understand ourselves and Accept ourselves. I know. I have had different views of life and living always and I am different in many ways. Accepting ourselves takes time but it happens. YOU Alexander shine, you shine as an incredible human being who has so much wisdom to share and you do so brilliantly. YOU make a difference to humanity. THANK YOU Alexander for being the incredible man you are. If I lived in Norway I would want to meet you in person, you are that grand. Bless you for bringing more clarity, yet again, to us all.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thanks.

Thanks for sharing. Love you. ❤

Wow, you have a gift. Keep talking. Your voice is brilliant and essential.

casualty of transition is a really loaded term. And it's really weird that it's being directed at the trans community rather than the people who are actually providing gender affirming care. Also, all healthcare has a regret rate. Gender affirming care's is remarkably low, to which, what exactly are you asking from the trans community here? what is it that you believe has to change? Is it because some trans people are hostile to the detrans community? To be honest I've only ever seen trans people be hostile to the detrans people who use their story to attack gender affirming care. I'm not saying there aren't trans people who are hostile to every detrans person but it doesn't seem like the rule to me. But if you want to broker some kind of peace between the two communities don't you think it's also important to get other detrans people to stop attacking gender affirming care?

Great video, Alexander! Why did they put a "conversion therapy" context thing into your video? Did KZread do that, or did you?

human body is such a precious and fragile thing! Even in times of peace, human body is so vulnerable to disease, age, and myriad of disfunctions... I cant believe how wrong it is to mutilate a healthy body... I am so sorry for all the mental pain the gay kids endure from bullies to force them to mutilate themselves...

You promised it would be your best video to date. Young man, you succeeded. Well done

I don't know how this changed through the years, I assume it's much more common now. I'm new to openly identifying as non-binary. One of the things I always hear about trans people is how being gender non-conforming or having dysphoria doesn't mean that someone is trans. The same way how sexuality and gender are not the same and must not be confused. I am sure that with time and more understanding about trans people, more and more people will understand whether or not they are trans or anything else. Both for the sake of trans people and non-trans people. What I see all the time is people being more aware of both things about trans people, and about how the traditional gender roles hurt us all. I imagine when this story took place and when the story of many detransitioners took place we were collectively less aware of all of this than now, and we're still in the state of most people not entirely understanding what being trans actually is, and even less what it is like. I hate how conservative media uses detrans people to attack progressives, I am most certain that being progressive is the only way to makes things better, not through repression, but through broader understanding. However I do agree that anyone should be able to access any gender affirming care just by stating that they are trans, making that even harder hurts much more trans people who actually need all of that and my solution for both groups is knowing more about gender, and sexual orientation, and being trans, which is exactly how I see things moving forward.

When I hear detransitioning all I think about is how we make the protocols safer so there are less people detransitioning. There’s nothing transphobic about it… People say that the detransition rate is *only* a few percent. But for detransitioners it is 100% of their lives. So I don’t know what that *only* a few percent means.

It's interesting you mentioned that some families (mainly European) don't want gay kids but rejoice when they are trans... happened to my best friend. She was legally allowed to get married long before same sex marriage was legal

Good letter Alexander. Thank you for your feelings and emotions. God bless Alexander.

Silly way to look at any medical procedure as "accepting casualties" is a bad thing. It's always weighting the pros against the cons. Most medicine has side effects etc. Basically any surgeries has people who regret doing it, even as simple as removing wisdom tooth. I was and still am living under the impression most trans do not get surgeries, online search says the number is less than 10%. And people who do get surgeries probably consider it over years. At least they should

Well said brave young person 😊

I have gotten hate from newly transitioned people who have no where near the kind of experience I have with transitioned simply for removing my implants. I didn’t detransition. I just took out my implants and got crap for it. It’s bizarre to not take detransitioners serious. It’s just your point of view. It’s not you being transphobic by existing and telling your story. ❤

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

I appreciate it. I think some people just end up viewing you as a traitor if you take any steps to reverse transition. I'm sure you had your reasons.

@tarulinden8295

3 ай бұрын

That's... strange. And you said at the time you weren't even detransitioning, just removing them? May I be curious enough to ask, was it for health reasons, or just too much? Personally besides not liking surgeries, I'd rather not take the risks of complications and having to change them as they age. I do have tolerable growth without, but don't think I'd opt for implants if I didn't. There are other flat women out there, I could make do being one.

@SarinaValentinaxo

3 ай бұрын

@@tarulinden8295 you’re correct! It was for those reasons. At my weight and height I had large implants that were very heavy. It was the aesthetic I was going for and I took very good care of them and my body. Sleeping in the right bras with them etc. (which I would reccomend ) but as I became more into my identity I felt I didn’t need them anymore to validate my femininity and I felt a bit one dimensional as far as clothing and also not to mention the health issues they keep from you from lobbyists. There are warnings that come with implants and I did need additional corrective surgeries. I also believe since I had them at 16, that it stunted my breast growth overall from the stretching. I still have my scar tissue capsules in my chest. It’s important to get them removed as well with a capsulectomy. One thing I noticed after removing mine was improved energy and improved skin complexion. I was getting sick with the flu for weeks on end especially after I switched to full silicone implants although saline shell is still silicone. Different people have different reactions and it felt amazing yo sleep on my tummy and chest and just simply stretch out my body after the removal and also hugging someone closer to me. I’m not against implants, and they can look amazing and fulfilling for most people but it became a hindrance to me later on, I have thought about getting small implants like my original ones but I am giving it all a break for now. I would suggest to make sure you’re getting it done for yourself and also always consider your health. Good luck 🩷

Thoughtful as always sweetie

Its true, gender dysphoria is a symptom and i agree it doesnt always mean someone is transgender. I think gender dysphoria is a common symptom if puberty, especially for young girls whose bodies change whether theyre mentally ready or not, and people start to look at them as young girls rather than as just children. Its a daunting experience and it makes sense for young girls to want to run away from their budding womanhood. I know i dealt with it. We shouldnt jump to halting puberty... that makes no sense. Sex organs arent the only thing that develops during puberty, its the human body growing from a child to an adult. Its pure madness to intervene on the natural development of a healthy body. Not to mention anyone who experienced sexual trauma at a young age. Of course that is going to result in gender dysphoria. These experiences are valid and should be treated seriously, not waved off as something like "oh youre just trans, its an identity" like maybe they are, but shouldnt there be avenues for them to explore why they feel that way, and options other than surgical/medical intervention? It really cant be as simple as "born in the wrong body" we ARE our bodies, there is no wrong body, this is a false narrative. We can accept that trans people exist without generalizing every single case with dysphoric symptoms as being transgender. There are so many other things that can cause it, from trauma to neurodivergence to even social media causing body dismorphia and spreading social contagion. Doctors should be doing their due diligence to make sure the treatment plan theyre settint people up with is actually right for them, instead of making a quick buck with a surgery and cashing in on revisions. I hope people take you up on your offer for a conversation. There can be a nuanced discussion here, instead of an all-or-nothing throwdown

I hope they watch this

Beautifully expressed and very poignant Alexander. I hope this gets a wide viewership.

I'm a 40-year-old trans woman who is asexual been through hell because of the non-acceptance of parents and family. I came out the first time at 25 years old and parents were angry at me they said they would prefer a gay son than a trans child. I diagnosis of gender identity disorder at 26. I started at 27 and was on low dose HRT for 10 years in secret and had to repress who I was for 11 years. Been on my normal dose for 3 years now and I came out a second time at 39 years and my parent were the same, but my dad said if I get the money for Gender affirming Surgery, he will take the money I have. I only social transition for 16 months because of parents' interference and even had clothing restrictions. I work for my brother, but I have to use my deadname for work but have legally changed my name. Be through domestic abuse, emotional abuse and financial abuse by my parents. I have an update of my diagnosis Gender Dysphoria it' severe and my parent's knowledge I have gender dysphoria. I have trauma because of my parents and family. I have the best endocrinologist and a GP who is help me move out of my parents' place. Someone said if someone else was in my shoes they wouldn't be here anymore. A lot of times I wish I wasn't trans but was born who I 'am from the start.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

I'm so sorry to hear that. I hope things will start looking better for you from now on. But the truth is, we can never know. I find it "fascinating" how there are some parents who would rather prefer a child who's gay over a child who's trans and then the parents who'd rather prefer a trans child than a gay child. I think both cases can be harmful.

So one of my friends in highschool had that happen. Lesbian that was convinced they were trans to be in a streight relationship. It actually kept me from transitioning longer for multiple reasons.

@alexanderl9721

3 ай бұрын

Are you glad it kept you from transitioning or would you rather transition sooner?

Your story is very rare in the trans community but the 1% of people who experience regret need support, this should be done by improving trans healthcare for all so that both those who don't need to have medical transition do get pressured into it and those who need it can get it painlessly

@alexanderl9721

3 ай бұрын

I agree with you that trans healthcare needs to be improved. This is mostly because it's a very new practice and it's basically stumbling in the dark. How should it be improved though? That's debatable and I think that all sorts of voices are needed in order to arrive at the best solution. I for one think that more doctors and therapists who work with trans care should take interest in detransition in order to have better understanding of why people detransition and how to avoid that in the first place. At this point detrans testimonies are research material. At the end of the day I want the people who need this treatment to get and people who suffer from other things to get a different form of help. Misdiagnosing is actually a very common practice in all areas of medicine and psychiatry. Also, I believe that surgical interventions need to be improved as well. With the current methods, I wouldn't recommend anyone going for the bottom surgery. The fake results we get are not worth the risks associated with it and I have met and seen both trans and detrans people suffering from complications.

@juliancalero8012

3 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 trans health care is not new as there was documentation dating back to before the second world war and there was a very prominent institute of sexology in the Vimar republic but all their books regarding the LGBTQ+ community was burned when Hitler was coming into power by a student union, let's not forget the post-war news article of a trans GI that called her a blond bombshell. The trans community is older than we realise because the flame has wiped the past from our cultural memory to help foster hate today

There should be more charity, love, and compassion extended and less vitriolic, divisive, polarizing hatred and fear. I agree with you that everyone should have the opportunities to sort out their own path. I wish you a healthy and full journey!

I'm honestly not sure where you got access to the care but in the UK the only way you can is to lie on every step. Years ago we warned of people regardless of where on the trans umbrella they are being given access to transsexuals' treatments, we were shouted down and called gate keepers 🤷

I just adore the sincere empathy that you exhibit when contemplating an issue. You would be friend of mine if we had the opportunity. It would be wonderful if more people in the trans community would take the time to listen to your message. But from what I’ve seen, they don’t care to hear anything that doesn’t 100% affirm their perspective. Unfortunately, along with body dysmorphia they suffer from a distinctly skewed lack of self awareness which prohibits a mutually open and respectful conversation. Perhaps that can change. It seems to me , that either the total and unquestioning affirmation that most get from the medical industry and psychologists or the extreme opposite; ridicule and isolation from family or society , result in similar a shut down . Unless and until the medical community is held responsible for their lack of honesty and understanding of this situation, I fear many more will suffer further and needlessly. No one at any age should have to go through what you and many others have. My foremost concern are the young children that have been thrown into this system of irreparable harm. I, under no circumstances support any trans therapy, hormonal or otherwise of minors Full stop right there That all being said, not many people have the intellectual curiosity that you exhibit Alexander. We all have our special gifts that makes us unique, I think yours saved your life. I have gotten just a bit of your backstory, it sounds as if the situation was very hard to for you to relate to. However, something, somehow went right enough for empathy or your ability to reflect to develop. What or who do you attribute that to?

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I agree with a lot of things you said. If there is one thing i might disagree with is therapy for minors. I think that kids experiencing gender dysphoria should definitely be supervised by psychologists, albeit not the ones who exclusibely affirm with the intention of medicalisation. But i have a hunch that what you were talking about wasn't about this type of therapy.

@bleepbloop101010101

4 ай бұрын

I had never heard any animosity between the trans community and detransitioners before they were being used as political pawns honestly. I think a lot of the animosity comes from a lack of trust in communicating with someone who may actually be against you or that will be used against you for political gain. I also would say I disagree about hormones (and definitely children questioning should have counselling/therapy available), I believe some people should have access to blockers to alleviate the incredible stress that comes along with puberty, and to prevent serious heartache and dangerous surgeries moving forward. It can give people the time to make an informed decision about their future. The number of detransitioners is very small and inevitable medical care should not be denied on that alone. I know you are going to disagree with me either way since you mention trans people suffer from body dysmorphia, not dysphoria and I doubt you believe trans people are 'real'.

@brookerichards9037

4 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 Yes exactly. I thought I might have clarified that after sending the post. But you it for me ❤

Thank you for sharing.. i am in a similar situation. Had a question that might be weird. After de-transitioning... what are we? Are we cis? not by definition. As we can never fully return to what we naturally were, or person we were. So while I am returned to the same gender i started as, but I am not the same man I was. I have ASD and this will always be an issue for me. terminologies and people misusing words. Sometimes I dont even know who I am.

@jaska-jalmarixvi5757

4 ай бұрын

You are you

@Red.Rabbit.Resistance

4 ай бұрын

@@jaska-jalmarixvi5757 thats lovely, but if I am trying to receive medical treatment for certain things. My name doesnt do much for me.

@jaska-jalmarixvi5757

4 ай бұрын

@@Red.Rabbit.Resistancesorry I'm not a doctor. But I think medical professionals should be able to treat all sorts of patients

@Red.Rabbit.Resistance

4 ай бұрын

@@jaska-jalmarixvi5757 General practitioners do, but when you have specialized treatments, you end up needing specialized doctors. Like a gynecologist for example will not know very much about Eye balls and vice versa. We have to be really careful of erasing at risk demographics by adopting a radical level of inclusion. inclusion is good, but if we are all the same, no one will receive special treatment. In our civilization, we take care of our special cases. Elderly, the sick and vulnerable. How we distinguish these demographics are with labels. Me personally, I have ASD and labels pretty much help me navigate society. But as of late, the wide brush and over use of labels has created a new level of dysphoria for me. Where I am not even sure how to describe myself without offending someone or inaccurately relaying my problem entirely.

@tarulinden8295

3 ай бұрын

Presumably you were always cis, but were for a time (under the impression of being?) trans. It refers to gender identity in relation to sex assigned at birth, not a later state of the body, so I'd say definitionally you are cis. People can grow and change, so for what ever reason, they will not be the same they were. Not being the same man doesn't mean not being a man. If you medically transitioned in some way you might have got a male/female mix body, and perhaps gender dysphoria going the other way. Still cis though, like a non-trans man with gynecomastia would be. Just that the cause is mistaken transition.

Thanks Alexander. If you need anything let me know

Your hair looks great man. Do you like final fantasy 8 by any chance?

@alexanderl9721

Ай бұрын

Thanks. Yes, I like Final Fantasy 8 and Final Fantasy in general. We're about to compare my hair to Squall's? 😅

@GIJane-nr2xm

Ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 yeah haha. 8 is my favourite, I think 9 has to be the best game though. Thanks for the vid dude keep them coming :). Love from UK. X

I wish the whole ALPHABET thing would disappear altogether. Or they should add all the rest of the letters starting with D for Detransitioner….so as to be truly inclusive.

🖖 thankyou

Bravo 🥹

Alexander, you are helping so many people! You are so honest and real . Thank you for your work 🙌🏽🙏🏽☝🏾

KZread: your "context" label is wrong. The video never discusses that topic and certainly does not condone it. Fix your bad reputation YT and remove false contexts.

❤🙏

Someone is a Shenmue fan too :)

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Indeed. I have used music from Shenmue in several of my videos.

From the heart dude from the heart

You have star quality about you. Such a great communicator. So handsome. Can’t imagine how you ever had a struggle of any kind. I guess you can’t judge a book by the cover?

❤❤❤

i am going for srs on the 20th of Mars wish me luck .

KZread is showing a Trevor Project definition of Conversion Therapy under your video...

maybe only AGP's should transition. if you are able to be attracted to your own sex, then it's a kind of approval of your own sex, so you are also able to accept your own body too. good for you. but as a 'gynephilic' trans person i don't hate masculinity just because of machismo. but also because i see physical masculinity as objectively ugly and universally repulsive. something that prevents me from being loved, or even liked or trusted. it's a stigma.

@user-vj4vs4zu3h

4 ай бұрын

I just used AGP as a shorthand for a "non-homosexual (AMAB) transsexual" I know that there are different kinds of AGP. yes there are AGP's who can still value masculinity in some ways. I would call it "consistent gynephilia" when someone prefers women and physical femininity consistently, without making arbitrary exceptions (such as themselves or their partners) Consistent gynephiles are either radical lesbian feminists, or AGP transsexuals, depending on sex. I think most people are gynephilic, but inconsistently. They prefer women and femininity generally, but sometimes they make exceptions. The overall preference for women and physical femininity also explains the anti-trans movement. Unlike FTM ROGD and HSTS, AGP's are rarely portrayed as victims of trans medicine/ideology/movement, but rather as the "perpetrators" of it. Because AGP's are generally less physically feminine, so there is no sympathy for them. Just protect women and children *from* them. But these same people then vote for toxically masculine, even sexually predatory politicians, you know. So they are inconsistently gynephilic.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

@JonathanJimbo I agree with you that the AGP argument has been overblown. I too think that it is a fetish/paraphilia that actually exists (there are existing cases of people openly talking about their own experience with this) but I don't think those people are the majority of trans people as some would like to believe. Or that every transperson who's not attracted to the same biological sex is an AGP/AAP.

@user-vj4vs4zu3h

4 ай бұрын

i definitely envy women but i wouldn't call it "gender envy". i have been trying to avoid the term "gender" since the anti-trans movement started calling itself "gender-critical". the anti trans people say that biological sex is everything and gender is nothing. and they accuse trans people of thinking that it's the other way around. but i think it's physical appearance that matters the most, no matter how you can relate to it. your looks determine how others treat you, and thus, your social status. i finally realized that when i met FTM's, and saw how popular they were with women. they are never alone. they don't have the same problems men have, because they look naturally better. that made me "pseudo-detransition". because most "gender presentation" such as hairstyles or clothes are futile. i wanted to look like an FTM. i went to SRS in quasi guy mode. the surgeon probably thought that i were "non binary". i'm not. i want to look as feminine as possible. @@JonathanJimbo

They openly brag about the casualties they cause (crackin eggs) There is no such thing as transphobia - - - activists and cults love redefining words and corrupting language.

☺💚🙏✌

Alexander, this is a powerful speech! You are well-spoken, calm, decent and graceful. This mindset could really build a bridge!

Everyone needs to hear this. Thank you for your bravery and compassion!

We probably CAN coexist tolerably but trying to do so as a "united" community is moving in the wrong direction. I could never live in Qtopia but it still ought to exist.

Your analysis of gender dysphoria is impressive.

I've watched many detransitioner videos and a common picture emerges, that they had another issue in their lives and linked this to their gender, and felt they were transgender, but after transitioning realised this wasn't the case because the issue was still there and transitioning hadn't resolved it. I have full sympathy for detransitioners who felt deceived or tricked or misguided into thinking they were trans. I don't know what the systems are like in other countries but here in the UK I've gone through umpteen assessments, including psychological and psychotherapeutic sessions, and I haven't started gender affirming therapy yet

One day I will visit finnland and find you And tell you I am your biggest fan

I feel your compassion but you kind of lose me when you say you were sold transition. Transition is discouraged at every turn in most of society. I don't appreciate you trying to gate keep my medical rights or the medical rights of people like me. We don't need more hurtles in the way of our care, we need less. I am so sorry for the disphoria you feel every day because of the unfortunate thing that happened to you but its the same exact dysphoria that a trans person who cant get medical care feels and you would trap them in the suffering you feel now by putting barriers in their way. I am for more education so people don't make the mistake you did, and I am for more resources for you to reclaim as much of the gender that fits you as possible, but thats it. We know this care helps most who take it. It should be available without making people live in suffering while they jump through hoops to prove they are trans. Nobody has a right to dominate other peoples medical options. Full stop. I am open to a dialog if you think I have got your message wrong or if you have a counter argument. EDIT. This person has blocked further replies because they dont want an honest convo. Here is what I wrote next ; @alexanderl9721 @alexanderl9721 first of all it was not converstion thearpy. That makes the situation sound like something its 100% not. converstion thearapy is pseudo science that tries to change sexual orietation. Your mistake was nothing like that. You dont have any right to make another adult go to thearapy to get hormones thearpy. Informed consent is just fine. Adults can make their own choices. That is an unreasonable road block that will keep trans people in suffering. Also the undelying cause of mosts trans people dysphoria is just that they are trans. Their is no underlying cause that thearapy can determine because being trans is not something thearapy can explain. Its not something that comes from trauma or sterotyoes. we dont make people go to thearpy to get knee surgury which has a much higher regrate rate than trans care. I myself did informed consent after years of trying to get trans care. You don't have a right to dominate the options of adults. The solution for people like you is more education so you would have learned that being trans has nothing to do with sterotypes and its ok to be a femine or gay man. Thats it. You dont have a right to dominate the medical options of trans people.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your opinion. I will give you a proper response when I'm home.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Hi again. I agree with you that we need more education about this to prevent people from making mistakes. For that reason I think we need balanced opinions as well as information and experiences coming both from trans people and detransitioners. What's a better way to prevent detransitions than our testimonies? At the end of the day you guys have experience with what works, we have the experience with what doesn't work and while you can never say with 100% certainty that someone will never detransition (the reasons can be many ranging from regret to stigma to health issues and so on) there are ways to minimise this. The big puzzle is: how do we prevent the cases of detransition while also giving other people the opportunity to get the right treatment? That in and of itself should be a big discussion and debate but it seems that society hasn't moved on to that level yet and prefers bickering. Personally I'm not in favour of strict gate keeping by any means. I live in a country where such a strong gate keeping exists and while it's less prevalent now than it was back then, its effects are still felt. Those strict rules and pathways aren't always helpful. For example, they can have really strange expectations to live up to gender stereotypes. Unless you're not a hyperfeminine woman as a transwoman or a macho man as a transman, forget about getting hormones. It can be things like what did you play with as a kid that can determine whether you get treatment or not. Those strict rules only enforce gender stereotypes. Another example here in Norway is how transpeople were expected to sleep with members of the same biological sex in order to receive treatment. That's ridiculous. Such practices is what leads to the sort of conversion therapy I received. When there's strict gate keeping in place people are going to get treatment elsewhere and that's not always the safest option. So when I say that i think there should be safeguards I don't necessarily mean unreseanable reastrictions. I think that therapists should work with their patients regarding their dysphoria and help them discover the reason behind it and whether transition is the right choice or not. And if so, what kind of transition. I think that some people can be happy transitioning only socially but get forced to transition medically in order to pass to receive less discrimination, which is a much bigger problem. Generally, therapists have been either enforcing strict pathways or affirming gender identity. I find both ways to be irresponsible. We need neutral, nuanced approaches and we need doctors and therapists to understand that gender dysphoria can have multiple different causes and multiple different treatments depending on the cause.

@normanicole4714

4 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 first of all it was not converstion thearpy that happened to you. That makes the situation sound like something its 100% not. Converstion thearapy is pseudo science that tries to change sexual orietation. Your mistake was nothing like that. Stop calling it that. Its dishonest framing. You dont have any right to make another adult go to thearapy to get trans related medical care. Informed consent is just fine. Adults can make their own choices. What you are calling for is indeed an unreasonable road block that will keep trans people in suffering. Also the undelying cause of mosts trans people dysphoria is just that they are trans. Their is no underlying cause that thearapy can determine because being trans is not something thearapy can explain. Its not something that comes from trauma or sterotypes. God or nature just makes such people. It took me years and year to get hormone thearapy and I was in suffering the entire time. I was laughed out of endchinologist offices and shrugged at by hospital after hospital. When I finally found sombody to help me i just did informed consent. You have no right to make other people go to thearapy to protect them from their own choices. Im very sorry for what happened for you. Its clear you could have used somebody to talk to. I did not need that. I just needed medicince. The tyranny you want is not justice and its not good. You should have had more education on what trans people actually are growing up. You should have been educated that physical gender dysphoria has nothing to do with sterotypes and that its ok to be a gay or feminine man. That is the only change we need. More education so people understand what trans actually is. That is what would prevent what happened to you. That is the only change that is right. There is no justice in dominating the lives of trans people to protect the ocassional detransitioner. Im sorry but you are calling for is not ok. You don't have any right to insert yourself between trans people and their doctors. People regret their choices sometimes. People regret medical care sometimes. As it stands now the regret rate for transition is lower than knee surgury or breast implants. We dont make people who need knee surgury get thearapay because they might regret it. That is equal to what you want. Im sorry but the freedom of trans people is NOT something we need to fix.

@normanicole4714

4 ай бұрын

​@@alexanderl9721my reply to your reply was deleted so much for honest conversation.

@CrazyDavecorp

3 ай бұрын

​@@alexanderl9721I'm a transwoman in a fairly progressive of the United States, just for context as how gender affirming care works varies wildly from religion to region, even within the same State so my experience and anyone else's (including yours) is by no means universal. Gender dysphoria is a horrid experience that I wouldn't wish on anybody and I doubt you would either. I am so sorry you were wronged by your providers and pressured into taking a medical journey that was actively harmful to you... I have...a LOT of thoughts about your video and the comments. I want to admit that I...tend to ignore the suffering of people who detransition, largely due to how they are used by transphobes as a means to deny VITAL health care to trans people, thinking that it was a statistical anomoly...but the same could be said about trans people in general as we occupy a small percentage of the population, so it's hypocritical of me to not acknowledge you and other people who have detransitioned and for that I am truly sorry... I want to share a little bit more about my experience as a trans person who is extremely happy about the medical measures I have taken and plan on doing more. I have felt soo much more comfortable with my body and identity since transitioning! I still wish I would have figured myself out sooner and often view the effects of Testosterone from puberty round 1 as damaging, especially to my voice box as my voice is one of my big points of dysphoria, every time I speak out loud... Unfortunately HRT for MtF does nothing for the voicebox and I often find myself wishing I was able to have the right puberty the first time, i.e. using puberty blockers until I could get on HRT to give me the correct puberty. So the major thing I want to bring up here is gender euphoria which is such a profound happiness after a lifetime of gender dysphoria. Gender Euphoria is something that is not talked about enough when it comes to debates around trans issues which is a terrible shame, not only because trans joy is such a beautiful thing but because I think it is fundamental to the trans experience and is the emotion that really cracked my own egg. To me, and correct me if I'm wrong, it sounds like you were forced into transition and did not experience gender euphoria from it. I think THAT is a fundamental difference that could help. There are a couple of things that I do fundamentally disagree with in this comment however. The most poignant being your assertion that a therapist affirming somebody's gender is irresponsible. Simply affirming somebody's gender expression (using appropriate pronouns and name) is helpful for testing out the identity, potentially awakening the feelings of gender euphoria I was talking about earlier.

Hey r u there?

8:31 ok i felt different to but how the fuck could you ever think any of that was ok?

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

I don't understand what you're trying to say.

@lindinle

4 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 to put it bluntly. As someone who was and is an outcast. I cant fucking see how anybody can see this transition hogwash is anywhere close to a fucking answer.....for anything. Spend lots of money on useless surgeries and other junk while believing in paradoxical bullshit.... Swell ...

@lindinle

4 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 i know that sounded mean but.... I just dont know how else to put it.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Fair enough. Looking back, I don't know how I ended up there either. I was young and naive.

@lindinle

4 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 hay you see my comments? I only see the one i did after. Yt is censoring again.

While I agree we should care for detrans people, such as you, your clearly not coming at this from a neutral view point. Nowhere in the UK are you able to "say you're trans and get access" as you claimed. The queues are usually over over 5+ years everywhere in the UK, the only exception is private healthcare where you still need to be diagnosed unless you're 18+ (still need diagnosis for surgery). You also use a LOT of loaded langauge and list off some very transphobic talking points, which makes me very much question your actual motive. "Parents would rather have a trans child than a gay one" being a very prominent thing and the whole "concern for gay people being transed". While I agree that some people whom are gay might end up misidentifying as trans and regret it later (and that we should support them as much as possible), that doesn't mean it on a larger scale as you seem to imply. Despite all of this, I took what you said in good faith. I wanted to believe in you 100%. I decided to go to twitter to see who your mutuals and who you interact with are and you end up talking, following and retweeting outright transphobic rhetoric associating with outrageously transphobic people, people saying "JKR is based because she says trans people don't deserve rights" or "trans people are all mentally ill" etc. Sorry but after that I cannot take what you're saying in good faith anymore. Still think we should care for detrans people as much as possible but I simply won't believe you in anything you say anymore. Edit: so I just passed the 15:35 and while I agree it feels shit to be the regret part of the 1-4% regret rate (depending on study but usually much closer to the 1%) but claiming the studies aren't true while also saying "1% is to high of a casualty" is really wild. It's like saying Chemotherapy shouldn't be allowed because not 100% of the patients recover and live a healthy life. Reminder, you're saying 99-96% success, which lowers trans peoples likelihood of attempting is worse than if 1-4% regret it. You'd rather have 96-99% attempt to commit at a rate of 41% than to 1-4% regretting it

@forgetfuldullahan5468

3 ай бұрын

We should absolutely care for detrans people, but also they should absolutely share with me where they are getting "rushed to treatment" cuz I'm 25 in June and I've been waiting three years just to get a consultation with an endocrinologist. I spent my entire childhood, praying to God, to make me a girl. Grandma told me god would always listen and answer my prayers, so I spent years waiting for an answer instead of seeking it out myself. Almost 25 and doctors won't even talk to me about it, no matter how many Therapists I tell. So please. Tell me where to go where people go "your trans? Cool heres some free estrogen."

I will continue to dislike any video that insists on using the term "phobia" SORRY!!!! We are not afraid.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Go ahead. No one's stopping you. Phobia doesn't necessarily mean scared. If a substance is hydrophobic it means its molecules don't mix with water; not that the said substance is afraid of water. Besides, is that the only thing you got out of this video?

Good video. I don’t like the fact that Trevor project is promoted on your page. I emailed you tube. Not sure why they’re considered a trusted source.

Doing this right after womens' day is wildddd and the slight at trans people by being "inclusive" by not mentioning them, and instead mentioning women who aren't great or are evil, then going on about detransition, is wildddddd. LOL. I wish you the best but you definitely have to work on your approach and your mindset. You are kinda evil for how you approached that, which extends far beyond your own self image issues you've dealt with. I've watched you for a while and generally respect you but this was wild.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

I think it's a bit strange of you to assume I'm evil. All that was was a sense of humour. A lot of my content is lighthearted and I'm not always taking myself so seriously. You realise that wasn't a shoutout to those women but rather a playful diss and a play on people's expectation? Yes, I was going on about detransition because that's what I'm trying to create discussion about. I could talk about pottery if you prefer. 😁

@Skywohka

4 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 I like hearing your thoughts. I’m still listening to the video, actually, as I type this. I just worry that you have some sort of anger towards others, which I hope isn’t the case, because you’re not an ugly person inside and out, but I was just remarking that if I didn’t know you, perhaps that part of the video would have rubbed me worse. But yeah, I’ve been watching you for a while and I appreciate your thoughts for the most part. My main remark is that mentioning womens’ day in a detransition video doesn’t look great as it can just make you look bitter, I suppose

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Thanks. I don't really have any anger towards others but I do have a bit of a rough and dark humour and while I'm not going all the way with my humour on this channel, that sense of humour is still a part of me. This type of humour is not for everyone and that's ok.

@CROWFACED

4 ай бұрын

@Skywohka I find it wild you think it’s "a slight at trans people" to not mention them for woman’s day, in a video that’s a whole open letter to trans people. Trans women have already huge attention to them on women’s day, almost more than other women. Signed, a transsexual.

As someone who is transgender. It looks like your issue is with toxic masculinity, or at least how it is depicted though out the media (stoic, unfeeling, and cruel). What is it to be a "man"? What is it to be a "woman"? These are questions you likely asked yourself at one time or something similar. You should get/have all the support you need to find your true self.

I believe The Holy Spirit is working through you ! You have no idea how beautiful you and your message are ! Thank you.. again 💕🙌🏽🙏🏽

Me to myself: stop laughing this is serious stuff You: 1:16

"I made a mistake so people's freedom to make their own choices should be restricted!" This video. The reason why detransitioners have a bad reputation is because a tiny minority of them says shit like this instead of moving on with their lives.

@alexanderl9721

4 ай бұрын

Where did I say that? Where exactly did I say that? That is something I never said and that is not something I think. I'm a transhumanist who stands for bodily autonomy. Stop accusing me of being something I'm not because honestly i'm getting tired of hearing this same song all over again. Learn to listen.

@user-se7kh6vw1p

4 ай бұрын

@@alexanderl9721 oh exactly here kzread.info/dash/bejne/d6Sk19x7Y8mcYs4.html A cis therapist can only know about trans people, what trans people have told him before. So when he meets somebody who says they're trans, he can either believe it or not! Arbitrarily! There is no scientific method in it. So I say fuck it! Let me self-certify my transness and don't waste my time therapist. So finally we will all take some responsibility for our actions won't we?! You don't get to blame others for your choices and try to restrict their choices!

@user-se7kh6vw1p

4 ай бұрын

@@superstarmario101 Except that shit doesn't happen outside your head. You're only scaring yourself into hating lgbt+ people because you want to hate us.

@user-bz2gz8yd3c

4 ай бұрын

Insensitive comment. I don’t see them coming at this from a place of hatred, they care about other people and don’t want them making the same mistake as they did.

@user-se7kh6vw1p

4 ай бұрын

@@user-bz2gz8yd3c except that what for them is a mistake is not for others. And they can just take some fucking responsibility for a change!

This seems like a lot of loaded language being used here

I think alot of the problem comes from the transgender umbrella gay lesbian and transvestite is completely different from transexual. Not just physically but also the reasons for transition are different. Lumping them together causes confusion. Happy you found yourself. My dysphoria ended when I had srs because everything lined up. I'm transexual because gender doesn't trans, heterosexual because I know what fits and what doesn't. I think we had better therapy 30 years ago when I went through transition.

An actor named George Burns played both God and the devil in the same movie