As a child, I was a chameleon, moulding myself, my views, and my beliefs into what I thought other people wanted.
I wore a mask.
And that mask helped me to fit in and feel more confident.
It kept me safe from rejection.
Safe from ridicule.
Few people knew the real me. What they saw was their personality and views reflected back.
A mirror.
I copied other people’s handwriting and pretended to need glasses when I didn’t.
Said yes when I meant no.
Kept quiet when something was wrong.
I hid in order to be loved.
I’ve done a lot of work on myself since then, but that fawn, or please and appease threat response, which is so deeply linked to my childhood trauma, is a hard one to shift.
I still find myself saying yes when I mean no, and not returning faulty items because I ‘feel bad’ and don’t want to offend or be ‘difficult.’
It’s Day 19 of a Year Facing Fear and I’m ready to look fear in the eye and do it anyway.
So today, I finally spoke to customer service about a faulty product that I’d bought over two years ago.
If you want to join me on this journey, you can follow along or join the A Year Facing Fear Facebook group.
Until I see you again, my friend. I see you. I believe in you, and you have absolutely got this.
Let’s do this together!
Love, Katia