Crusader Kings II: Long May He Reign (feat. Squire)

Комедия

The royal council tries to find a new king.
doormonster.tv
Squire's Channel:
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Starring Jon and Squire
Written by Kyle and Squire
"Living Forever" by JP De Ovando:
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San Antonio, TX 78232
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Пікірлер: 945

  • @SquireComedy
    @SquireComedy5 жыл бұрын

    This was a lot of fun to make. Cheers guys! :)

  • @scottwood6920

    @scottwood6920

    5 жыл бұрын

    Omg i love your voice man

  • @Locahaskatexu

    @Locahaskatexu

    5 жыл бұрын

    Gods alive man, Squire I do love your sense of humour, this was hilarious

  • @weeshooting0978

    @weeshooting0978

    5 жыл бұрын

    I thought that was tou XD

  • @jacksonbowns1087

    @jacksonbowns1087

    5 жыл бұрын

    You were in San Antonio?! Man.

  • @laggedoff

    @laggedoff

    5 жыл бұрын

    I freaking love your channel, the first of your videos I watched made me an instant fan and an instant subscriber. Keep doing the fucking sweet work you do.

  • @justafaniv1097
    @justafaniv10975 жыл бұрын

    Too unrealistic, not enough 3 year olds in regencies.

  • @Reddsoldier

    @Reddsoldier

    5 жыл бұрын

    Who are then inexplicably hated by the people who brought them up.

  • @fallenswan1670

    @fallenswan1670

    5 жыл бұрын

    I actually didn't really had such problem. But in other hand, I usually play with pagans, like vikings, means I have lot of people to be elected as new king - and if some of them dies, it usually just means that kingdom suffers less when next king dies...

  • @darksuperganon

    @darksuperganon

    5 жыл бұрын

    Only to die in their 16th birthday, leaving the throne to... their 2 year old cousin. Or he steps into the throne room, someone chucks a rock at him, and he's infirm for 45 years.

  • @fallenswan1670

    @fallenswan1670

    5 жыл бұрын

    In my last game (I should continue it...), I had 5 kings in 4 years. All of them adults. My kingdom was split so many times in pieces that it was even united back! Fifth king in that period was dullest (literally "dull") grandson of king who died 4 years earlier. BUT, he was brilliat strategist. Incredible one. And master of melee combat too! So, besicly he don't understand about shit of anything, excempt how murder masses of people and stay alive. And he is kind of king who will have long long reign. (I think he already had reign of 10 years, and seems nothing is going to kill him...).

  • @snappedsquire8479

    @snappedsquire8479

    5 жыл бұрын

    In the later years of the Roman Empire, there was a least one emperor who was crowned at the age of three

  • @BattleUnit3
    @BattleUnit35 жыл бұрын

    "Right. Does anyone want to join a plot?" - This was so on point i wondered if this was a trailer for the new DLC

  • @reigenpott9953

    @reigenpott9953

    5 жыл бұрын

    Never! 40 gold later ok

  • @auron2699

    @auron2699

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@reigenpott9953 *pays entire court to kill a guy i don't like*

  • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933

    @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@auron2699 *Plot failed, guy counter-plots against me, succeed*

  • @somerandomguy3324

    @somerandomguy3324

    4 жыл бұрын

    black wall I mean I once played a game where I got my liege’s entire council to join a plot against him because he cucked me (the reverse happened a few years later (hre multiplayer game))

  • @ynotplaygames2067
    @ynotplaygames20675 жыл бұрын

    This is so true to the games mechanics "What do you mean your plotting to take the throne from me, YOU HELPED ME get this throne!"

  • @JoeMartinez18

    @JoeMartinez18

    5 жыл бұрын

    "Yeah... But that Throne looks comfy, and now that u got it , I want it... So die!!!!."

  • @connorschultz380

    @connorschultz380

    5 жыл бұрын

    Seriously what is this game?

  • @pieguy7157

    @pieguy7157

    5 жыл бұрын

    It Crusader Kings II(aka CK2) it is a paradox grand strategy game set in the Middle Ages

  • @MeidoInHebun

    @MeidoInHebun

    5 жыл бұрын

    You know it could be roleplayed as wanting to get rid of a popular king with a bad one that has a claim, so it's easier to take the throne for oneself from the latter.

  • @owlblocksdavid4955

    @owlblocksdavid4955

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@MeidoInHebun yeah, besides, sometimes they disgrace you with your wife, or murder your mother that was spying on them, or burn your daughter at the stake as a heretic. Then they're dead. Or, if your Greek, castrated. That's always fun.

  • @bobbluered8984
    @bobbluered89845 жыл бұрын

    "Right does anyone want to join a plot?" -A summary of MacBeth

  • @bonniepozarlik2969

    @bonniepozarlik2969

    5 жыл бұрын

    You Sir, could have saved me hours and hours in high school! But excellent summation!

  • @Anarchristian_Beanz

    @Anarchristian_Beanz

    3 жыл бұрын

    Still read this in iambic pentameter.

  • @thepebbleinstitute7702
    @thepebbleinstitute77025 жыл бұрын

    This isn’t even exaggerated.

  • @gaylordzapikowski9053

    @gaylordzapikowski9053

    5 жыл бұрын

    It's honestly pretty tame yet still pretty accurate.

  • @SulyvhanTheStranger

    @SulyvhanTheStranger

    5 жыл бұрын

    This isn't even enought xD it lack of newborn kings getting murdered by their families

  • @noahjohnson935

    @noahjohnson935

    4 жыл бұрын

    Not enough smothered children

  • @turmuthoer

    @turmuthoer

    4 жыл бұрын

    Not enough Aztecs, horses or secret bears.

  • @EarFarce4

    @EarFarce4

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@turmuthoer bears? What bears?

  • @Daffa137
    @Daffa1375 жыл бұрын

    "England only has 6 different face types" Living in Exeter, you sir speak some truth there

  • @theblackbaron4119

    @theblackbaron4119

    5 жыл бұрын

    Which number of face type did you pick for yourself ;)?

  • @ihaveagun22

    @ihaveagun22

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@theblackbaron4119 He didn't, his face fluctuates between the 6

  • @fulcrum2951

    @fulcrum2951

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@ihaveagun22 something like a lovecraft thing?

  • @raquetdude

    @raquetdude

    5 жыл бұрын

    which facetype is the Cornish one again?

  • @edwardaugustus9680

    @edwardaugustus9680

    5 жыл бұрын

    Cornwall has 5.

  • @Taneth
    @Taneth5 жыл бұрын

    "Might have the plague." * dies * "I do hope it's not catching."

  • @neolexiousneolexian6079

    @neolexiousneolexian6079

    5 жыл бұрын

    "Lucky we're at a coronation, eh? Next!"

  • @lindseyfrancesco4

    @lindseyfrancesco4

    3 жыл бұрын

    daily life in 2020

  • @anthonybramante2921

    @anthonybramante2921

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@neolexiousneolexian6079 Get it? Corona-ation?

  • @somethingelse516

    @somethingelse516

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@anthonybramante2921 well done, tips hat

  • @erebusvonmori8050

    @erebusvonmori8050

    3 жыл бұрын

    Ugh, one plague I went from 300 potential heirs, all with 7 bloodlines including the immortality one, to three people with just two of the bloodlines. That one hurt.

  • @tarnim80
    @tarnim805 жыл бұрын

    "I am probably the only one God truly loves" "And humble too"

  • @CatholicWeeb

    @CatholicWeeb

    4 жыл бұрын

    @Vox They are ALL inbred

  • @Ajehy

    @Ajehy

    4 жыл бұрын

    665th like. I pave the way to a land I cannot reach myself.

  • @mathunit1

    @mathunit1

    3 жыл бұрын

    @Vox Go fuck yourself.

  • @Hammadz-li

    @Hammadz-li

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@CatholicWeeb nut who isnt

  • @Nowters

    @Nowters

    3 жыл бұрын

    I hate people who just quote things and get a thousand likes

  • @WMastersred
    @WMastersred5 жыл бұрын

    Whoa, who said you could upload my entire playthrough?

  • @HunterDrone

    @HunterDrone

    5 жыл бұрын

    yours? that's clearly mine.

  • @polskalitwa1659

    @polskalitwa1659

    5 жыл бұрын

    WMastersred both of you are wrong, this is obviously my gameplay.

  • @adamh2077

    @adamh2077

    5 жыл бұрын

    No, I'm HowToBasic

  • @matiseonfusion5276

    @matiseonfusion5276

    5 жыл бұрын

    Woah woah woah, all of you stole MY playthrough.

  • @Murdorch

    @Murdorch

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@matiseonfusion5276 i thought for a moment you all stole mine, but then realised there wasn't enough incest, so my apologies, carry on.

  • @heidiwilks5316
    @heidiwilks53164 жыл бұрын

    "Long may he reign" -- degenerates to "May he survive longer than this ceremony." :P

  • @eric_moore-6126

    @eric_moore-6126

    2 жыл бұрын

    "May he reign long enough for someone to conceivably run away and change their identity."

  • @draexian530

    @draexian530

    2 жыл бұрын

    "Does anyone want to join a plot?"

  • @colliwer
    @colliwer5 жыл бұрын

    No matter who else hates you, always make friends with your spymaster for exactly this reason.

  • @rsync9490

    @rsync9490

    5 жыл бұрын

    Or provoke that person to civil war with raiding on. Take all their titles when the war is over and banish them. $$$$

  • @GAndreC

    @GAndreC

    5 жыл бұрын

    Make them a court hester insult them give them council positions or mentor ones only to take them away a revolt should follow

  • @GuardianTactician
    @GuardianTactician5 жыл бұрын

    2:36 Missed opportunity to say "Someone has killed the king! And with a chicken no less!"

  • @JellyMyst

    @JellyMyst

    5 жыл бұрын

    My name is Greg and I've killed a chicken with a man!

  • @eric_moore-6126

    @eric_moore-6126

    3 жыл бұрын

    Diplomancy

  • @mwplaylist2890

    @mwplaylist2890

    2 жыл бұрын

    That would be highly unrealistic. Greg lived in a Republic.

  • @NoNameAtAll2

    @NoNameAtAll2

    10 ай бұрын

    king was killed with his own sword on an appuncture session

  • @tlsgrz6194
    @tlsgrz61945 жыл бұрын

    Hey, the english King killed my Cat during battle, I feel completely justified in murdering his entire Dynasty.

  • @Haan22

    @Haan22

    5 жыл бұрын

    It's the only rational response.

  • @fulcrum2951

    @fulcrum2951

    5 жыл бұрын

    Justified

  • @yaujj65

    @yaujj65

    5 жыл бұрын

    How did you bring a cat to battle and how did you murder the entire dynasty unless they kill themselves (you know when they become courtiers and doesn’t marry

  • @fulcrum2951

    @fulcrum2951

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@yaujj65 shh

  • @tlsgrz6194

    @tlsgrz6194

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@yaujj65 There is an event where you get a pet cat which follows you around (granting +1 health, +1Intrigue iirc). If you lead troops, that cat can be killed in battle. Killing of a Dynasty is not that difficult. Just search for any living member and use a combination of assassination plots, satanist abilities and duels. If everything else fails, declare war and kill them on the battlefield or imprison and execute them once you have conquered their lands.

  • @chezmasteraustin1375
    @chezmasteraustin13755 жыл бұрын

    fabricating for only 7 years? lucky

  • @lucasbeck1391

    @lucasbeck1391

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@ravensshade moral authority is very important in conversion maybe it wasnt high enough?

  • @Apokalypse456

    @Apokalypse456

    5 жыл бұрын

    you can get really unlucky with claims, but it doesnt usually that that long. and the most fun playing as catholics is building a dynastic empire, marrying into all the royal houses and then taking them for yourself or at least your family whilst your main title is set to seniority.

  • @patrickbohn5235

    @patrickbohn5235

    5 жыл бұрын

    Seriously, mid and late game you shouldnt be using fabricate claim almost at all. It is objectively the worst way to expand. Invite claimants, land them, then press their claim. Far faster and far more reliable

  • @AllCanadiaReject

    @AllCanadiaReject

    5 жыл бұрын

    This is why you go Lollard EDIT: For until you forge your empire and get a border with the Umayyads or Abbasids. Then it's holy war city!

  • @ekkoree5464

    @ekkoree5464

    5 жыл бұрын

    Chez Master Austin137 Keep in mind, he wasn't done yet.

  • @YunsAvatar
    @YunsAvatar5 жыл бұрын

    Allison Edge Meter: 4.5 Where is Allison, you say? Try the disembodied arm that keeps appearing to place the death crown upon the heads of all of these worthy gentlemen. The arm that almost certainly is a silent partner in the plots. Oh, and the whole part about killing her husband over and over.

  • @Runix1

    @Runix1

    5 жыл бұрын

    Yeah, Ali-arm is definitely spymaster.

  • @davidkuzmanov3925
    @davidkuzmanov39255 жыл бұрын

    "Yesterday I opened a book and it drove me insane" I relate to this sentence on a spiritual level

  • @Thoran666
    @Thoran6665 жыл бұрын

    The king is dead, long live the king .... And that's how the entire dynasty was ended.

  • @ElGringoCastellano
    @ElGringoCastellano5 жыл бұрын

    It's about time you made a CK2 video!

  • @CassianoDalPizzol

    @CassianoDalPizzol

    5 жыл бұрын

    But they did't talk about shagging they sisters ir marrying a horse (Disclaimer: It's a joke about the game)

  • @palt7036

    @palt7036

    5 жыл бұрын

    Thanks for clarifying that @@CassianoDalPizzol

  • @SomeGuy-cp1km

    @SomeGuy-cp1km

    5 жыл бұрын

    Palt well “joke” in the you can actually do it way

  • @palt7036

    @palt7036

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@SomeGuy-cp1km yeah i know i have 800 hours in the game

  • @CassianoDalPizzol

    @CassianoDalPizzol

    5 жыл бұрын

    Palt noob ;)

  • @mattmundt5615
    @mattmundt56155 жыл бұрын

    'Strong...cruel... does a lot of torture' - Squire's delivery in this video is, as always, absolutely bang on. Always appreciate his appearances in your videos.

  • @MrTJPAS
    @MrTJPAS5 жыл бұрын

    When you somehow assign the guy with 20 Intrigue and Ambitious to be your Court Chaplain when you meant to make him your Spymaster

  • @nathfrancois5507

    @nathfrancois5507

    5 жыл бұрын

    Making a guy with 20 intrigue and Ambitious your Spymaster is a great way to commit suicide.

  • @yaujj65

    @yaujj65

    5 жыл бұрын

    You will have no problem if you have good relationship with him. If he hates you, you character will meet an extortionist hobo who is also an assassin and ask for $7.

  • @essexclass8168

    @essexclass8168

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@nathfrancois5507 I eventually imprison the ones i own , castrate them, strip them of property and send them to China

  • @adamloga3788

    @adamloga3788

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@yaujj65 At which point you reply "What in Heaven's name is a Dollar?" and I think you can figure it out from there.

  • @e.richens3736
    @e.richens37365 жыл бұрын

    Bar Satanic cults, Glitterhoof and occasionally discovering that your Daughter is actually a bear, this does a pretty good job at summing up my everyday experiences in CK2. If only real life were so chaotic...

  • @HunterDrone

    @HunterDrone

    5 жыл бұрын

    wait a bear? how did THAT happen?

  • @e.richens3736

    @e.richens3736

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@HunterDrone Apparently I gave birth to a bear and didn't notice for 30 years... I did think the baby was a but hairy

  • @owlblocksdavid4955

    @owlblocksdavid4955

    5 жыл бұрын

    Just wait a few centuries for the polar bears.

  • @stoutyyyy

    @stoutyyyy

    5 жыл бұрын

    And the immortality event that kills 99/100 times

  • @RambleOn07

    @RambleOn07

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@e.richens3736 I then became that bear... and fathered both human and bear children with my human wife lol

  • @biggubba6573
    @biggubba65735 жыл бұрын

    This is so accurate that it hurts my soul

  • @princepartee725
    @princepartee7255 жыл бұрын

    DAMMIT! There was no exploding manure. Consider this video ruined. But great video, keep up the good work!

  • @BattleUnit3

    @BattleUnit3

    5 жыл бұрын

    Or unstable balconies. I mean its Medieval Europe.

  • @DrDandy-yc1jt

    @DrDandy-yc1jt

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@BattleUnit3 i mean, yeah, dude that walked away could have fallen off the balcony

  • @princepartee725

    @princepartee725

    5 жыл бұрын

    I cannot believe one of the Kyles did blow up the leper while sleeping with his nephew... So unrealistic!

  • @owlblocksdavid4955

    @owlblocksdavid4955

    5 жыл бұрын

    I was killed by exploding manure as my last ruler in a recent game. I was sort of waiting for him to go so I could be Jewish again (I had to convert when Carpathia was targeted for a crusade...), but now I kinda miss allies. D:

  • @brycehawken1833
    @brycehawken18335 жыл бұрын

    Long live the king, aaaand dead You have been chosen, Prepare to die.

  • @helpmereach690subscribers3
    @helpmereach690subscribers35 жыл бұрын

    Vassals: *unanimously vote in favor of increasing crown authority* *crown authority is increased* Vassals: LOWER CROWN AUTHORITY! OR CIVIL WAR! Me: but you literally all voted in favor of it yesterday!?

  • @jamesgillespie5529

    @jamesgillespie5529

    5 жыл бұрын

    Vassals: you gave us massive bribes. how could we refuse

  • @helpmereach690subscribers3

    @helpmereach690subscribers3

    5 жыл бұрын

    James Gillespie I also gave you all massive tracks of land I literally raised you from a peasant to king of France!

  • @jamesgillespie5529

    @jamesgillespie5529

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@helpmereach690subscribers3 Vassals: but you kept the duchy of Flanders which is my right as king of France.

  • @helpmereach690subscribers3

    @helpmereach690subscribers3

    5 жыл бұрын

    James Gillespie ...Flanders is my home province. I only abandoned it last year since I somehow became the Byzantine Emperor and moved Constantinople

  • @jamesgillespie5529

    @jamesgillespie5529

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@helpmereach690subscribers3 Vassals: thats another thing you have too many duchies. and in order to become emperor you changed your religion to orthodox you heretic

  • @Pizzabash
    @Pizzabash5 жыл бұрын

    I expected it to end with a horse being king

  • @invock
    @invock5 жыл бұрын

    "England only has about six different face types" > See?! How can some continue to pretend that CKII lacks realism?

  • @jackiechan5978
    @jackiechan59785 жыл бұрын

    Stuck in Wales for ONLY 7 YEARS! This man is obviously a diplomacy 20

  • @nico6143
    @nico61435 жыл бұрын

    Headcanon: That last King was killed by the Swashbuckling Man from Diplomancy

  • @judgedread01
    @judgedread013 жыл бұрын

    I just realized that at 2:10 when he says “that one was both of us, yeah?” He is indicating that they both were part of the Assasination plot 😂

  • @xXxDarkPhantomxXx1
    @xXxDarkPhantomxXx15 жыл бұрын

    They're already making it to the ceremony? Assassins are getting lazy.

  • @Crick1952
    @Crick19525 жыл бұрын

    Do one with the Boat Mormons as a secret society

  • @owlblocksdavid4955

    @owlblocksdavid4955

    5 жыл бұрын

    I am a Latter day Saint. I second this motion. It could be a heresy that appears when you find the ARK of the covenant :)

  • @MrBrunswick
    @MrBrunswick5 жыл бұрын

    Christ, isnt this the truth. The council always seems to know the best ways to drive the Kingdom into the ground, and every poor sod who becomes King is in more danger from his own council than the plague. This game is amazing, lol

  • @a-drewg1716

    @a-drewg1716

    5 жыл бұрын

    seriously though the second you give the council any leeway into actually ruling a country you know its fucked now

  • @yaujj65

    @yaujj65

    5 жыл бұрын

    Sound like the parliament right ?

  • @GAndreC

    @GAndreC

    5 жыл бұрын

    Generally safest to have a heathen and foreign spymaster than one on the same culture and religion

  • @patriotliberator3160

    @patriotliberator3160

    5 жыл бұрын

    Non-Agglutinative Krenak that’s what I do conquer a new nation then use them preferably pagans they have some decent stats in my games

  • @GAndreC

    @GAndreC

    5 жыл бұрын

    The thing is it is much much much harder for people to get foreign heathens to act against you in game specially if they like you. Specially harder since they do not like anyone in your court and no one likes them so no one is above suspicion. Historically puting religious or ethnic minorities in administrative positions or roles with authority has not sat well with people in the know or who were accustomed to holding those positions by default and in turn by the transitive property oftentimes with the bulk of the population but tons of rulers used them because they had more skin in the game than the other advisors since something bad happening to the ruler tended to mean something about as bad or much much worse happening to them those that follow their beliefs or match their race at a much higher percentage than any other advisor.

  • @BlueDragonMedia
    @BlueDragonMedia5 жыл бұрын

    This Squire guy is really good.

  • @rusticgiraffe4262
    @rusticgiraffe42622 жыл бұрын

    I’m surprised he didn’t immediately turn into Kyle when he stood up to take the throne.

  • @anonymousk4694
    @anonymousk46945 жыл бұрын

    0:55 he tried to control his smile and was successful

  • @Narvaljodchik
    @Narvaljodchik5 жыл бұрын

    "I must be the one God truly loves!" "And humble, too." _W H E E Z E_

  • @SteelWalrus
    @SteelWalrus5 жыл бұрын

    Squire's inclusion upped the immersion to 1066.

  • @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933

    @rezandrarizkyirianto-1933

    4 жыл бұрын

    My dick is harder than when William the Conqueror raped Harold Godwinsson

  • @Sebstasta99
    @Sebstasta995 жыл бұрын

    Aaah King Basil, the greatest monarch we've ever had

  • @owlblocksdavid4955

    @owlblocksdavid4955

    5 жыл бұрын

    -15 opinion of predecessor And Basil's son looks at the vassal, and it's a newborn.

  • @iainhansen1047
    @iainhansen10475 жыл бұрын

    Why no horse adviser deciding who gets to be king?

  • @labrynianrebel

    @labrynianrebel

    5 жыл бұрын

    Why no horse becoming king? Long may Glitterhoof reign!

  • @rateeightx

    @rateeightx

    5 жыл бұрын

    Because No King Lived Long Enough To Appoint A Horse As The Chancellor.

  • @mattbreisch4279

    @mattbreisch4279

    5 жыл бұрын

    What about ISPs satanic horse eating and absorbing his childrens life essence

  • @fafdsfr

    @fafdsfr

    3 жыл бұрын

    @@manderic5436 Why use a real horse? Horse head masks are cheap and would still be very clearly Glitterhoof

  • @Joso997
    @Joso9975 жыл бұрын

    When you get *possessed* and put your *horse* as a *councilor* Glitterhoof !

  • @Belleplainer
    @Belleplainer Жыл бұрын

    I love it when I start a plot against a courtier and every new courtier who joins my court immediately joins the plot like their signing up for the kingdom's newsletter.

  • @allthenewsordeath5772
    @allthenewsordeath57725 жыл бұрын

    I once had a ruler last two months in game, his was the longest rain.

  • @Quintinohthree

    @Quintinohthree

    5 жыл бұрын

    Quite a ruler if he could control the weather like that.

  • @nikitamalikov6683

    @nikitamalikov6683

    5 жыл бұрын

    Then there was a great drought, and he was sacrificed by a Satanic cult to appease the Dark Lord.

  • @allthenewsordeath5772

    @allthenewsordeath5772

    5 жыл бұрын

    Quintinohthree My poor grammar has dishonored my family, the only remedy is ritual suicide.

  • @samb123
    @samb1235 жыл бұрын

    Love it! Perhaps a Stellaris one next?

  • @tach5884

    @tach5884

    5 жыл бұрын

    You know it's EU4 and HoI before Stellaris, or was that Vic II?

  • @zamathellama9708
    @zamathellama97085 жыл бұрын

    You forgot that the heir joined the gavalkind faction.

  • @AscendtionArc
    @AscendtionArc5 жыл бұрын

    Wait, is this the history channel, where did the Door Monster go.

  • @marcocappelli2236

    @marcocappelli2236

    5 жыл бұрын

    If it's History Channel, it's missing some aliens....

  • @JonathanToolonie
    @JonathanToolonie5 жыл бұрын

    Accuracies through the roof.

  • @aidena8381
    @aidena83815 жыл бұрын

    Should do a Byzantium one next. (Looks at the sundial) "Looks like it time for *another* civil war again... How many have we been through, 30, 40?" "62 to be precise" "I was close enough! If only they could stop fighting me and start fighting our enemies!"

  • @justadude5868
    @justadude58685 жыл бұрын

    The proper term is venomous snake, not poisonous snake. I demand that you re-record and repost the video to fix this minor error!!!

  • @bookreaderman6715

    @bookreaderman6715

    5 жыл бұрын

    Who's to say that his hobby wasn't snake eating

  • @preid122o

    @preid122o

    5 жыл бұрын

    Not in Dark Age alternative history Europe that's being invaded by the Aztec is aint', me horse sister daughter mother wife spymaster glitterhoof told me so!

  • @AntizombiRUS

    @AntizombiRUS

    5 жыл бұрын

    What if they took unvenomous snake and added poison on its teeth? Wouldn't it make snake "poisonous"?

  • @tommagennis

    @tommagennis

    5 жыл бұрын

    No, a bunch of snakes fell into his mouth while he was sleeping. Accidentally. It was his own fault, for keeping a Snerricks TM Patented Snake Funnel by his bedside.

  • @JamesM1994

    @JamesM1994

    5 жыл бұрын

    Snakes are actually rather dry. I demand that you re-record and repost the video to erroneously call snakes slimy!

  • @SLKibara
    @SLKibara5 жыл бұрын

    This is painfully accurate.

  • @connorschultz380

    @connorschultz380

    5 жыл бұрын

    What IS this game?

  • @fulcrum2951

    @fulcrum2951

    5 жыл бұрын

    Yes

  • @a-drewg1716

    @a-drewg1716

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@connorschultz380 truly though they forgot all of the new born slaughter..... are those sirens?

  • @johnwestensnorris6391

    @johnwestensnorris6391

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@connorschultz380 Crusader Kings 2.

  • @jackvogt3578
    @jackvogt35785 жыл бұрын

    Anyone else notice that the leper king who was left handed use his right hand to drink

  • @jetstreamjackie3437
    @jetstreamjackie34375 жыл бұрын

    Is Squire always doing an extravagant British accent in your videos, or is that just how he talks?

  • @FireWarrior2013

    @FireWarrior2013

    5 жыл бұрын

    Given his own channel and appearance on the Tank Museum's top five series. I think this is how he naturally talks XD

  • @fulcrum2951

    @fulcrum2951

    5 жыл бұрын

    That's how he talks

  • @ReziahT

    @ReziahT

    5 жыл бұрын

    I mean, his name is Squire. Why would you assume he is even capable of speaking in any other voice?

  • @jetstreamjackie3437

    @jetstreamjackie3437

    5 жыл бұрын

    Fair enough lmao

  • @popuptarget7386

    @popuptarget7386

    5 жыл бұрын

    I suspect hes actually from Louisiana and has a strong Cajun patois. Hes merely a good actor.

  • @itsashane1552
    @itsashane15525 жыл бұрын

    I had a bastard and so I sent him to the Teutonic order, he then became the leader of it. Wish I could legitimize him. Proud of my boy

  • @bloodrunsclear
    @bloodrunsclear3 жыл бұрын

    Civil war in ten years? That’s probably the longest period of peace I've ever had

  • @_imperiumromanum
    @_imperiumromanum5 жыл бұрын

    Don't forget the inevitable civil war!

  • @owlblocksdavid4955

    @owlblocksdavid4955

    5 жыл бұрын

    I will not be blackmailed!

  • @SuperAerie

    @SuperAerie

    5 жыл бұрын

    It isnt a real succession of the throne if it isnt followed by a civil war

  • @Gothic7876

    @Gothic7876

    5 жыл бұрын

    Ehh civil wars are easy to prevent. Ever since Conclave and Charlemagne I haven’t had to deal with civil wars. And if you do, make sure you have enough Levies (not counting retinues) to beat down the majority of your vassals

  • @suokkos

    @suokkos

    4 жыл бұрын

    @@Gothic7876 , Why would you want to prevent civil wars? They are an excellent way levy a bit extra taxes from nobles.

  • @jomarivelasco5260
    @jomarivelasco52605 жыл бұрын

    *Get's inherited by Norway*

  • @U_C_G
    @U_C_G5 жыл бұрын

    Absolutely brilliant, this really is one of your best to date and that is saying something

  • @NardoVogt
    @NardoVogt3 жыл бұрын

    "That one was both of us, right?" *Nods* Fantastic.

  • @jesseclark7105
    @jesseclark71055 жыл бұрын

    The dialogue was great and very well-delivered, and, as usual, you got me with the last line.

  • @endgame7568
    @endgame75685 жыл бұрын

    Arthur, Gregor... These names are all too normal. I'm pretty sure there're more Buttfaces or Assclowns in CK2 than your rival in pokemon.

  • @InstigationFixation
    @InstigationFixation4 жыл бұрын

    That man is obscenely British

  • @propheinx2250
    @propheinx22504 жыл бұрын

    "Yesterday I opened a book and it drove me insane."

  • @Talyrion
    @Talyrion3 жыл бұрын

    "Next up is, huh, Baldric the Lepper. Yes, God's natural choice." That line always cracks me up.

  • @jamestown8398
    @jamestown83985 жыл бұрын

    1:48 - I WISH disfigured characters in Crusader Kings II looked like that. Instead they wear Phantom Of The Opera masks.

  • @kindoflame
    @kindoflame5 жыл бұрын

    I feel like you could remove the reference to CK2 and claimed this video was about actual history and it would fit just as well.

  • @plasticballs
    @plasticballs3 жыл бұрын

    "-this is a coronation" I had to check when this video was made

  • @keithhagen7571
    @keithhagen75712 жыл бұрын

    this remains one of my favorite videos you have ever done,....please make another one for Cursaders 3

  • @trygveplaustrum4634
    @trygveplaustrum46345 жыл бұрын

    Welcome back to the loving embrace of Paradox games!

  • @LetsPlayCrazy
    @LetsPlayCrazy5 жыл бұрын

    Reminds me of Medievil TW 2 (with the Pope): Me: *minding my own buisness* Whole of christianity: *attacks without mercy* Me: *defends myself* Pope: "YOU MONSTER, MAY YOU BURN IN HELL!" Me: "Oh! It seems there has opened up a spot as the pope* *cicle repeats like in the video*

  • @spritenado6983
    @spritenado69834 жыл бұрын

    "Why would anyone want to do that, then they'd have to be king." *Is next in line for the throne* *Convinces Court Chaplain to take the throne* "Anyone want to start a plot?"

  • @martynpoyitt8918
    @martynpoyitt89185 жыл бұрын

    Fantastic work guys! I was wondering when you'd do something with Squire and I'm so glad you did!

  • @EdgyShooter
    @EdgyShooter2 жыл бұрын

    "So that was both of us, right?" So did they both poison him?

  • @Orillion123456
    @Orillion1234565 жыл бұрын

    No random han chinese heir mixed in? Must be very early on in the campaign.

  • @labrynianrebel

    @labrynianrebel

    5 жыл бұрын

    In one of my recent games I glanced down to North Africa and saw a small independent country lead by a Han Chinese Jew and his one province was Yazidi... then I glance out in the steppe and find a bunch of Czech Catholics hanging out.

  • @owlblocksdavid4955

    @owlblocksdavid4955

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@labrynianrebel my favorite game was where I started in Cornwall, then made the Roman Empire Jewish Again. It was a wild ride.

  • @essexclass8168

    @essexclass8168

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@labrynianrebel My Campaign ended with a British Invasion of China in a war of succession, Britain being the Modern Day USSR

  • @hittlemorelikemomadolf8449

    @hittlemorelikemomadolf8449

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@essexclass8168 modern day ussr

  • @greninjamastergabe6452

    @greninjamastergabe6452

    4 жыл бұрын

    In one playthrough, there was a random Taoist province in North Africa. Don't ask how it became Taoist.

  • @simongosimon
    @simongosimon4 жыл бұрын

    this is my favorite door monster video

  • @ekirstein89
    @ekirstein895 жыл бұрын

    Love the videos, keep up the good work! Cheers from San Antonio!

  • @gunthereinritterdesheilige8436
    @gunthereinritterdesheilige84365 жыл бұрын

    the leper should have stayed king and somehow be the greatest king of all time

  • @theodorepinnock1517
    @theodorepinnock15175 жыл бұрын

    A brilliant Door Monster video, but which aren't!?

  • @oliversherman2414
    @oliversherman2414 Жыл бұрын

    I love your channel keep up the great stuff!!!

  • @olopi99
    @olopi995 жыл бұрын

    This is probably one of your best videos recently, if not of all times. And I've definitely had games that went this way before, except that they included slightly wonkier lines of succesion!

  • @gaiusjuliuscaesar3808
    @gaiusjuliuscaesar38085 жыл бұрын

    Nice video and all but why did the Croats gain full control of Jerusalem?

  • @HojozVideos
    @HojozVideos5 жыл бұрын

    I volunteer to join the plot! Also, all comments are in a Squire voice now. Can't help it.

  • @nadavga
    @nadavga5 жыл бұрын

    Impressed with Squire's acting

  • @clonetrooper2505
    @clonetrooper25055 жыл бұрын

    Squire has a most excellent voice, I'm glad to see he came back for another vid.

  • @Everhardt94
    @Everhardt943 жыл бұрын

    "Long may he reign. Unlike his father." 10 seconds later. "Not his son. It's his twin brother."

  • @EarFarce4
    @EarFarce45 жыл бұрын

    You sure this is England and not the Byzantine Empire?

  • @GAndreC

    @GAndreC

    5 жыл бұрын

    He’s grandpa was emperor but his father was not born in the purple and he somehow got the marriage

  • @martinisbutik
    @martinisbutik4 жыл бұрын

    The delivery of the final punchline is damn perfect.

  • @sampfeiffer6557
    @sampfeiffer65575 жыл бұрын

    I love the mockups of ck2 portraits in the thumbnail. Well done!

  • @ariaolsen7415
    @ariaolsen74155 жыл бұрын

    Yeah tthat seems normal

  • @alphastark8883
    @alphastark88835 жыл бұрын

    This is the game. Don’t buy it if you haven’t already cause that was it. Anyone up for a plot?

  • @SovietReunionYT
    @SovietReunionYT5 жыл бұрын

    This is one of the best things you've done. I need to hear more of Squire describing people in terms of CK2 traits.

  • @Southpaw4696
    @Southpaw46965 жыл бұрын

    One of your best! Can't wait for next Monday!

  • @KameSama77
    @KameSama775 жыл бұрын

    "maybe we could be a republic or something" nope noo that ends the game.

  • @MishaFlower

    @MishaFlower

    5 жыл бұрын

    Maybe he means Merchant republic

  • @blackfang101

    @blackfang101

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@MishaFlower either way it doesn't help. You will experience the exact same thing except with more characters involved because you can't remove all the other families

  • @nocx4592

    @nocx4592

    5 жыл бұрын

    I go elective monarchy... Does that count?

  • @MishaFlower

    @MishaFlower

    5 жыл бұрын

    @@blackfang101 Obviously, He just wanted to avoid becoming the king.

  • @darkrajin3648
    @darkrajin36483 жыл бұрын

    My games largely consist of me plotting against my own children because they suck, and the good one is last in line....

  • @Dragon_Lair

    @Dragon_Lair

    3 жыл бұрын

    This game, as well as Crusaders Kings 3, definitely makes me think like Tywin Lannister.

  • @VaciliNikoMavich
    @VaciliNikoMavich4 жыл бұрын

    Excellent and humorous video ^^

  • @owendarragh1396
    @owendarragh13965 жыл бұрын

    This was so good. Hope there will be another.

  • @kitgagsmith2893
    @kitgagsmith28935 жыл бұрын

    Arthur is mean.. and dead. Long live the king?

  • @ketsuekikumori9145
    @ketsuekikumori91455 жыл бұрын

    As long as you're willing to pay me for the work, I will join you.

  • @terryfisher9067
    @terryfisher90675 жыл бұрын

    Great one loved it

  • @YukoValis
    @YukoValis3 жыл бұрын

    0:57. I love how he can't hide his smile. It is adorable.

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