The snapshot concept really made sense, as my BPD queen-type mother has actually said to me “Why couldn’t you just be a baby again!” while we were standing by a portrait of me as an infant hanging on a wall in her house. She is incapable of seeing me in reality as an adult, which in itself has caused me immeasurable problems in life. I am forever that child photo in her mind.

@candylove49

3 жыл бұрын

Same with mine, she would always say that those were the “better days”. And she wish I was a baby or young child again.

@sarahgorsuch1776

3 жыл бұрын

Me too! My parents still even call me my childhood nickname, “Sarie”, as if I’m still a child (I’m 42!) and still see me only as a child and with negative traits (selfish, dishonest, making excuses) even though, according to people close to me, I am none of those things. It’s insanity!

@vicchavez6570

2 жыл бұрын

@@sarahgorsuch1776 it's evil

This accurately describes my malignant npd ex husband . He’s an Unevolved alien species disassociated from empathetic human emotions and only capable of creating corruption destruction and evil

@seraphimssounds

4 жыл бұрын

Nancy Elizabeth Grady same. My demonic malignant narcopath ex husband will get what’s coming to him.

@unbalancedlibra9788

4 жыл бұрын

I sometimes think the grey aliens truely are a future form of ourselves

Dr. Vaknin is 100% correct. How you forget basically everything you promise because there’s no emotion behind it, how you’re more aroused/turned off by yourself, how alcohol temporarily undoes the inherent feeling of being a lost cause at Life. To name a few.

@virginiaandrade8009

3 жыл бұрын

I see this so blatantly in someone I used to know. The sullen loser narcissist. I wanted to help and that was my mistake

Some of them do have dead eyes, its a scary thing to see.

@lindajohnson6663

4 жыл бұрын

Yes they do, when they are trying to figure out how to control you, devalue you, or if you caused a narcissistic injury.

@oa2162

3 жыл бұрын

@@tone3560 Eyes are the gates to the soul.. yes some people have dead eyes and you might have them too when you feel so offended

@bessiearevalo9872

3 жыл бұрын

Only the target/supply of the narcissist can see that deadness in the eyes. I think it has something to do with familiarity of the narc with the target/supply.

@goodmorningsundaymorning4533

3 жыл бұрын

Just wait till you see their full entire eyeballs (even the white part) turn jet black right in front of your face. Yes, I've seen it.

Some of the insights here are truly spectacular

My mother was a narcissist and she always took special attention to my oldest son Marvell And he was diagnosed with schizophrenia and psychosis at the age of 16 yrs old and my mother just overly reacted to his illness as if he couldn’t walk talk or do anything for him self he is now an person who laughs a lot only does things he wants to do but pretends to be handicapped to what ever anyone needs him to do he doesn’t bath brush his teeth refusing to clean anything she does everything for him and exspects everyone else to do for him also

Thank you for this information I especially appreciated the specifications regarding the differences between covert/overt narcissism.

Loved this interview. Thank you 🌹

Wow, Sam knows his stuff and hit the nail on the head with coverts

Sam has an hypnotic speaking style.

@candicekhann

4 жыл бұрын

I've been listening to MANY of Sam's videos lately. (Like many "victims" in the pandemic, I finally have time to reflect/analyze and plan)This video is extremely interesting to me. I'm planning to severe the connection with my current grandiose cerebral psychotic sadistic narcissist.(haha if that is even an accurate way go to categorize this person) Mine is very intelligent, he studied psychology and uses that as a way to deflect any of my observations. Emotionally he is very basic, my gut tells me, he knows this himself. "The narc doesn't feel responsible for other people's problems." -Sam my narc often repeats to me "that's you're the problem, that's not my problem"(regarding any issue that I have dared to broach with the narc) (

@starseeds8121

3 жыл бұрын

A lot of narcissists do.

@HeatRock123

3 жыл бұрын

Sounds like 👍 his biggest fan are you shooting your shot 🤔 tho

SO Profound, thank you Prof. Vaknin

An other fantastic interview, Sam! Congratulation and many many thanks.

@samvaknin

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you. You are doing important work in your country. I am proud to work with you.

Hello Sam. Thank you very much for educating us during this difficult time of Lockdown. one of you many videos you spoke about autism and Asperger I found that was very very interesting . Could you please talk about Dyslexia as well. Frankly speaking the way you connect subject it is mind blowing. Thanks

Your comment on people saying you don't know about inverted narcissists reminds me of the scene in Back to School when the English professor gives Rodney Dangerfield an 'F' for his report about Kurt Vonnegut and says whoever wrote the report "doesn't know the first thing about Kurt Vonnegut", when the report was actually written by Kurt Vonnegut.

amen! they do act on behavior they know to be wrong and sinful and they do it anyways though. ...

““The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” Matthew‬ ‭6:22-23‬ ‭NKJV‬ ““No one, when he has lit a lamp, puts it in a secret place or under a basket, but on a lampstand, that those who come in may see the light. The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, your whole body also is full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness. Therefore take heed that the light which is in you is not darkness. If then your whole body is full of light, having no part dark, the whole body will be full of light, as when the bright shining of a lamp gives you light.”” ‭‭Luke‬ ‭11:33-36‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

@robertpaquette77

3 жыл бұрын

Eye - singular: www.gaia.com/article/ancient-civilizations-knew-third-eye

"even the somatic can find a woman that is much stupid than he is that can be impressed by his intelligence" so cruel, but so true.

This is dope! The best i ever heard on Sam Vaknin

Thankful for this awesome video!

Mine really did take pics of me when we were wartchng a show together. He was at peace of that moment, but never took pics any other time

Ridiculous how , according to comments on these videos, everyone is a narcissist. Sometimes people are just assholes. NPD is serious and not be mistaken with crappy common personality traits or even other conditions. What’s to blame is the amount of coaches, gurus, and pseudo experts on KZread validated by scarred ex partners, and people trying to validate their own experiences. Sure, some of these videos are helpful to people, but this trend is so annoying. This channel is the only channel people should watch regarding narcissism. And people, stop overanalysing common shitty behaviour.

@joaovitorschell5614

3 жыл бұрын

I noticed that trend, too. Really weird. Clearly not every abusive behavior is narcissistic and displaying some narcissistic behaviors doesn't mean the person has a pathology.

@clv603

Жыл бұрын

Who knows for sure, but agree on people sure love to throw narcissist around. But I wouldn't be surprised if the actual number of cluster Bs living among us is substantially higher than the current data based on diagnostics, something like 10%. It might sound weird, but I do believe it is possible that number is even higher if you count the cluster B personalities who are able to live not disordered. It's only a disorder if the personality causes harm, which is subjective in its own right. Maybe something to think about, I don't know

@JessicaG1971

Жыл бұрын

Or maybe everyone mentioned IS a narc. There aren't 33 MILLION different comments about DIFFERENT people. And narcissism is GUESSED to be about 10% of the population. So unless there are MORE than 33 million different comments (In the United States), not EVERYONE is even discussing 10% of the population. Furthermore, many psychologists claim that the 10% is a guess and think it's MUCH HIGHER. And finally, who comes to see these videos??? Most likely abused people. And what kind of person MINIMIZES other's pain? Narcs for one. Anyway, all the facts above show that clearly not ALL people are calling someone a narc. And if they are commenting on a video like this, they probably DO KNOW someone who would be classified as a narc.

@michigan1085

11 ай бұрын

I understand your frustration but also because of the topic of these videos, there is a much higher chance that the audience here, and the commenters, are here because they really are dealing with someone who at least has traits of NPD. I’ve dated “jerks,” but not until I came across a person with true NPD did I feel the need to do more research. It really is a devastating thing to go through.

Truth

And laughs and talks to himself often

I think these different types of personality are the basis of different types of mythical half man half beast creatures like werewolf and vampires

@princessonuoha79

3 жыл бұрын

Likely. Cuz even Superman, for e.g. was based on a psyche theory. Very interesting.

@princessonuoha79

3 жыл бұрын

We create stories/mythicize things we don't understand.

A narcist need 100 bite´s to be happy Overt narcissist takes bite´s from everybody who he see on the day, (50 people 2 bite's = 100 bite's) he is happy. Covert narcissist take his bite's behind the front door in the family 100 bite's 1 partner = 100 bite's 1 person 100 bite's 1 partner and 1 child = 50 bite's from 2 persons etc. etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.

How can you make a covert narcissist become aware that he is one (and retain this acknowledgement) and feel safe to expose his vulnerability to himself, to his wife and a therapist, and seek help?

@lizc2023

4 жыл бұрын

They already know what they are

Where is the rest?? Edit: here it is! kzread.info/dash/bejne/c2h_yqNupq7SccY.html

Do you think they are misdiagnosing people with schitypal and avoidant personality disorder? Or do you believe there is a difference between covert narcissism and these two above mentioned personality disorders?

@AnimosityIncarnate

3 ай бұрын

Nope. Again, imo people labeling and over pathologizing human behaviour is an issue, it almost forces self suppression on some level, food for thought 😂

I'm so glad you're talking about the memory issue, other "experts" are ignoring this, like it doesn't exist. It's terrifying when you don't remember almost nothing from your life and you don't know what could be the cause. I would like to ask you what is your opinion on Object relation theoretical point of view, which distincts disorder from traits (style) with following critetia: lack of whole object relation, lack of object constancy and of course-lack of (or no) emotional empathy. What do you think about that, could a whole object relation+object constancy be the "breaking point" on the spectrum of narcissism which differentiate style from disorder? Thank you!

@samvaknin

4 жыл бұрын

It is much more than just that.

Unfortunately even before watching the video I’m admittedly a cerebral covert narcissist. That does not make me happy to concede this.

@anakein

4 жыл бұрын

Are you also psychopathic and sadistic?

@Alexandru642

3 жыл бұрын

@@anakein i'am a covert too but what u talking about we are not phycopaths and stuff we are the nicest people in the world we are not dangerous the other narcissists are extroverts They are dangerous they come in a pub they are loud and then they scream and they show you that they are strong they have 100 photos on facebook showing every place they go and show you how many strong people they have around they seek attention and they end up in the jail they are cool be afraid of them we are quiet and NICE PEOPLE and we don't make wrong things, we always respect the rules, i wish you a good day !

I was diagnosed with covert narcissistic personality disorder this year. Is there any evidence that treatment can help to cure NPD or is it purely just managing the traits?

@J1Bigtime

4 жыл бұрын

@@themetamorphosisofgipsy Wowee, another person who doesn't understand that people with NPD are humans too and have variety in their personalities. If you told anyone who knows me I had NPD, they would either 1) not believe you or 2) be completely shocked. Just as my family and partner were. Because they all see me as such a "kind, caring, humble, and considerate" person. Sometimes these things are far more internalised and I can imagine anyone would just say "classic example of narcissism" when I say that I'm the person who suffers from it most but that's the truth, backed up by everyone who understands my position. Don't make yourself an expert just because you've read some articles and watched a few videos, it reveals just how naive you are.

@J1Bigtime

4 жыл бұрын

@@fishstickbio594 Yeah, I have been doing cognitive therapy. My psychologist isn't a specialist in NPD and it's been hard to find someone affordable who is but she has said that it's not really curable and it's more about managing the traits.

@viviannereed3473

3 жыл бұрын

@@J1Bigtime you should check out a video from richard grannon channel about healing narcissim and you can find courses on his website that may help about the super ego and emotional literacy and disocciation

Dr. Sam, Any Self help advice for a 22 year old male covert narcissist?

@viviannereed3473

3 жыл бұрын

check out richard grannon chanel about how to heal narcissim his courses on his website might help

@Pandazz79

Жыл бұрын

I am also a covert narcissist Did you do well since your collapse ?

Can you have a borderline vulnerable narcissist make up in one person?

@matthewolson3309

4 жыл бұрын

It’s a real mindfuck

@froandcara

3 жыл бұрын

Yes. My father. Pretty sure.

I know it may be seldom that men are covert narcissist....but I feel that I am married to one....almost 12 years....very A sexual.....very very passive aggressive. Anybody have a good way to vet a counselor.

@sanciaanderson7950

4 жыл бұрын

Kathy T. Check dr carter on KZread , they do haves good counselling and in my opinion you need to work on an exit plan for your own sanity as it willl only get worse with age

How does Trump not have NPD? I remember in one of your videos only a couple of weeks ago you described him as a severely deranged narcissist. Is this an older interview? Have you changed your opinion?

@samvaknin

4 жыл бұрын

I said that he is a narcissist, not that he has NPD: Donald Trump - A Malignant Narcissist? (March 2016) www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq19.html#trump

sounds like borderlines have traits of covert narcissism, is this correct?

@samvaknin

4 жыл бұрын

Correct, as the title of the video clearly states, genius.

@Rawyalty220

4 жыл бұрын

Sam Vaknin lol your such a narc

I wonder if its possible for a narc To have both a mix of overt and covert traits?

@samvaknin

4 жыл бұрын

No. These diagnoses are mutually exclusive: samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

is it true statement that " a narcissist on purpose chooses not to show empathy " ?

@samvaknin

3 жыл бұрын

Narcissists have no empathy to show. They have only cold empathy.

What do you call a person who displays both overt & covert tendencies then?

@samvaknin

4 жыл бұрын

Science fiction.

@Anondlynn

4 жыл бұрын

@@samvaknin then can there be somatic covert narcissists? What about a somatic that has never masturbated because they refuse to touch themselves in that manner? Are all narcissists perverse/sadistic in their sexual intimacies? So many questions. Speaking only from my own experience...I have always felt as if I was only an object, a sexual toy to be used for their own gratification. Although...in just the past 13 years there has been a slight change, a maturity of sorts at times...but still many episodes of immaturity as well I'm afraid. At this time we are living apart...it'll be 6 years in August but we still have contact with one another and have not divorced.

Sam if Narcissist has no memory of there past how does Donald Trump do his job every day?

@samvaknin

4 жыл бұрын

Well, very badly, I guess! Donald Trump - A Malignant Narcissist? (March 2016) www.narcissistic-abuse.com/faq19.html#trump

Can the covert narcissist recognize overt one and vice versa?

@samvaknin

4 жыл бұрын

Inverted narcissists can samvak.tripod.com/faq66.html

@gergofuri2334

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you !

Why do they remember when it comes to sex