Last time a man told me "It's not you, it's me", I answered "You're right about that" and I walked away and ended the relationship myself. It happened a few months ago after tons of mixed signals, I got simply tired. I deserved better.

@patiencemtetwa

Жыл бұрын

Best decision ever 🤗, it's so annoying when someone cannot make up their mind..

@annporter7359

Жыл бұрын

Love that you said that !

@wendybecker-metivier7674

Жыл бұрын

Good for you!

@rs5570

Жыл бұрын

Well done. Respect. I just did the same. I went medieval on his bum for wasting my time. Sorry man but I’ve got plans. Get out of my way you jackal.

@merimakepes7380

Жыл бұрын

I did the same and then felt that I was maybe a bit harsh since we were only friends. And he was so happy and enthusiastic to hear from me and immediately said he'd love to see me. He gave me an update on his life when we hung out, everything was great for a few days then back to the usual. Only this time I was really and finally done and just didn't bother even addressing it. I gave it my all and, like you, decided I deserve better. Moral of the story: agree with them and just never look back - whether they're a friend or love interest.

Guys are not complicated with their communication. If they want you, you'll know without a doubt. Mixed messages mean they're not interested. Period.

@megzasaurusrex

Жыл бұрын

Yeah but they still act like they do for a while sometimes. Some of them can't stand being alone so much they snatch the first girl to look their way.

@outroseok

Жыл бұрын

hard truth sadly. if your intuition tells you they're not that interested you should listen to it, bc sadly I didn't lol.

@prepi5630

Жыл бұрын

They are not complicated, they are liars.

@IVvOOvVI

Жыл бұрын

@@prepi5630 yes that’s why women should do the same to them and have no remorse. be savage just like them. do not play their game when you recognize it.

@SugarHue

Жыл бұрын

What about a guy that is interested but is 4 hours away and hasn't set up a new meetup? We've been talking for 2 months and met 2 weeks ago and had a great time , talk everyday.

Men have gotten really creative with ways to say "i don't want to be in a relationship with you"

@oemj7147

Жыл бұрын

It's not men, it's that small percentage of players that live in abundance.

@nancybrown3067

Жыл бұрын

Here’s one “ I looked up on Google the kind of guy that would be good for you”. 😂

@leyacallender4405

Жыл бұрын

It’s really sad

@annaliza230

Жыл бұрын

😂 true

@annaliza230

Жыл бұрын

@@oemj7147 unfortunately most of us(women) met such men. So there’re plenty of them.

My ex-husband used to say "I don't want you to be upset," but he didn't mean he was going to change his actions accordingly. He was just telling you not to be upset anymore.

@ShadowbannedAccount

Жыл бұрын

Lmao what? If you did not like his actions, why did you marry him? There have been many, MANY instances of men being dumped by women because the former changed as of the latter's request. No. A man should not change himself for a woman. His current self is exactly why the woman chose him in the first place.

@anonplussedhuman2615

Жыл бұрын

Terrible response. People change or do things in a relationship that they didn't do initially. It's important to still work on ourselves and be open to work on ourselves as partners. Her husband displayed a shift in accountability. He can absolutely choose to not take accountability but then he lost his partner. Same can go for women too. A relationship takes work always.

@anonplussedhuman2615

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like he was unable to take accountability to make changes. Almost gaslighting.

@novembah

10 ай бұрын

@@ShadowbannedAccount you must be born today or something cause only a social y inept moron wouldn't know about people putting on their best behavior before marriage and then suddenly dropping the mask and revealing their true colors after marriage or even pregnancy cause now for the next 18 years at least there's a whole society out there to constantly pressure and remind the women (never the man) to not "break the family and ruin the children" and stay with the abusive spouse instead. Maybe get out of your house and touch some grass once in a while instead of being chronically online and making foolish comments and assumptions like this.

@Alixir1228

17 күн бұрын

​@@ShadowbannedAccountwhy aren't you holding a man accountable for his crappy behavior and instead just blaming the woman for tolerating it? Treating a man as a child that doesn't know better?

Man here. I never say any of this crap but I know there are men who do. Don't waste your time. There are plenty of men looking for a girlfriend who would be happy to label you as such and commit to you. It is hard to find, even I have struggled finding commitment from women as my ex fiance recently broke things off as the reality of commitment set in...but you and I deserve secure individuals who aren't afraid of intimacy and commitment. We don't have to settle for less. You aren't being needy asking for love and commitment

@iCookieChan1

Жыл бұрын

Period.

@leilanikinne3684

Жыл бұрын

Please don’t feel the need to save women like you said there’s people out here wanting commitment and have done the work to be worthy of such commitment

@iCamzie92

Жыл бұрын

This comment! 🙌 I’ve finally come up to my senses and decided to leave my ex’s life after a month of his indecisiveness. He opened the door for me after breaking up and recently just got the courage to finally walk towards that.

@t.l.c7481

Жыл бұрын

Definitely 👍 People want partners!

@richardsmith2825

10 ай бұрын

Brett. Read the comments below in response. They all want the chads, even though they’ll swear blind that they don’t. They want commitment alright but from the same 5% of men. Avoid! 😄

I've decided--I'm not going to be confused by men anymore. If he can't be clear about what he wants and if it doesn't line up with what I want, I'm not going to try and figure him out. Mature, ready men know what they want and can articulate it. Don't make me guess especially when I'm very clear about what I want.

@carmenkamberos1156

Жыл бұрын

L. Stockton, how right you are! People should be more knowledgeable of what they are and want. Love and relationships are not a game, it’s your feelings and well being involved. One must be careful and gracious when choosing a date. Young men want to chase women infinitely, and are mainly inmature. So ladies, be wise. Blessings

@singer_the_artistic_genes

Жыл бұрын

brutally true, thanks for sharing.

@kk-xi8li

Жыл бұрын

Exactly this!

@MassageMagick1111

Жыл бұрын

Same!

@t.l.c7481

Жыл бұрын

Don’t chase people that don’t chase back. If they don’t want to do the work, why continue? This goes for all relationships.

My advice to other women here is get grounded in your values. Regardless if you want to have a monogamous relationship, an open one or be single. And hold men accountable for what they say and do. If someone says antything like this, believe they only want sex, affirmation and attention. And if you are ok with that, remind them that THEY are just an option to you aswell. No double standard. If you are looking for more, state it and say that you would appriciate if they stopped wasting your time. Some guys have a hard time respecting boundaries once you actually see through their BS and let them know they are replaceable. They will get anxious and clingy and chase you. The block button is your friend. Keep out of toxic relationships and situations where only one of you is being honest ❤

@rs5570

Жыл бұрын

Well said. It’s harder for girls/women who are younger,, I feel. I’m older now and it’s easier for me to throw them overboard. It’s not about “time,” it’s about “you’re not a person of good character to think uou can play with me, get sex off me, whatever.” These fools make me laugh now, thank God.

@odetakizeviciute4233

Жыл бұрын

Best advice! Love this

@staceywood7800

Жыл бұрын

Amen to this 🙏💫 Dating 101. But rule #1 no sex. The truth is always exposed. Always..

@marieO07

Жыл бұрын

​@@staceywood7800May I ask, do you mean no sex on the first date or just no to sex - honest question x

@Igbobabexoxo

Жыл бұрын

Don’t have sex with a man who hasn’t improved your life in any way. It’s simple.

I'm just going to repeat Matthew's words at the end there, "You just need to stick to your reality (don't get distracted by their riddles) if this person isn't commiting and they aren't giving you very much, they are not showing up for you, they are confusing you constantly that's your reality. Regardless if they have reasons for being confusing and complicated are malicous or sympathetic it doesn't change your reality."

This is what men say as a disclaimer so when they treat you badly later they can go back and say.... well I told you I wasn't a good fit. It's your fault you stayed and got hurt. It's a way to pass off any responsibility for treating another person badly.

@caaarming

Жыл бұрын

Yup

Who here is binge watching Matthew’s videos? ❤❤

@sterntaler64

Жыл бұрын

Me 😃😁

@vaishnavivenugopalan508

Жыл бұрын

Who isn’t?! :)

@Lauriah7

Жыл бұрын

Me 😉

@leyacallender4405

Жыл бұрын

That was me from last April to almost June

@Braceletgirllove

Жыл бұрын

Me!

Yeah I've been in the "no title" situation and the "day by day". Almost three months in it was just as easy for me to walk away with no emotional pain and his lack of commitment meant I didn't give more than I wanted to give. Remember girls he's made it just as easy for you to find the exit door and you're just as free as he is.

@leyacallender4405

Жыл бұрын

That’s if you’re on the same page and you’re lucky enough to have managed for a man not to mislead you and tell you up front. Not a lot of men are honest about their intentions. They hide things in the beginning that you should know…

@ictcomputersciencewithmiss8965

Жыл бұрын

@@leyacallender4405 True they do but he knew my intentions from the beginning and I felt he used his "honesty" as some kind of defense or game play like as if I was lucky to have it. I'm no relationship expert at all and I wouldn't say that I'm successful with men etc but I try to be more selfish and I'm defo not interested in silly games. I'd rather be single than be in a relationship that's causing emotional stress and anxiety

@leyacallender4405

Жыл бұрын

@@ictcomputersciencewithmiss8965 You represent about 50% to 60% of the great women who settle for the lesser quality or low value men in the world. We all have our reasons. Thanks for being a high quality woman. If I were you, though, I would have walked away. I guess it does depend on how much time you’re willing to waste. I’m a mid spring chicken. I’m certainly still fairly young and would definitely be referred to a a kid you know? I’m willing to waste about another 2 years but not much more than that. I’ve just had it with the dating apps. Too many weird men or crazy men out there. Sad part is that they are also intelligent and handsome too. I just can see past the crazy so much like you I’d rather be single. I’ve been following Matthew for a while now and he’s comforted me through some pretty tough times. Besides him Jay and Elena I don’t listen to any other relationship experts I mean besides Stephen speaks and I rarely listen to him. But Matthew I will listen to on KZread and on podcast. He knows what he’s talking about.

You forgot to add - "you deserve more than I can offer you" which is what I just got after 6 months. 1) I know what I want and deserve and I don't need you to tell me and 2) I literally just want companionship- I pay my own bills, make my own friends, have my own interests and have my life together

@LumiVictoria

Жыл бұрын

this is whats happening to me he doesnt need me hes independent i need someone to meet my needs and that needs me!

@adelante3938

Жыл бұрын

Same... same...

@lindalin5998

Жыл бұрын

Men tells a lot, those who talk a lot in the beginning are not mature, stable and will dissapear fast. Others like you and tell you they coming, you hear emotion, but they not came. Wanted came from the maraton first, not you. They cant come so they go somewhere else soon... We women like in Dreams....

@LumiVictoria

Жыл бұрын

@@lindalin5998 It was 2.5 years total he started acting like himself after 6 months. I thought he was the one. Never believe a love bomber, although I think he truly meant it. He just couldnt deal with the responsibility. Wanted a gf but didn't want to be a bf.

@Alixir1228

17 күн бұрын

​@@LumiVictoriathis is the issue with most men. They want a girlfriend, but don't want the responsibility that comes with being a boyfriend.

When I first heard, 'it's not you, it's me' to me it states there is nothing wrong with the person on the receiving end of the breakup but the person who wants to end it knows they can't give them what they want anymore.

@pinkbuttercup2023

Жыл бұрын

Yes a man told me this and I was very sad! Still struggling and trying to get over it 😩

@lindacox4176

Жыл бұрын

That was an episode on Seinfeld with George! Lol

@morganhorneck7900

Жыл бұрын

😊😊😊

@Gabster1990

Жыл бұрын

@AliSand you aren't owed a relationship.

@joannajung9279

Жыл бұрын

@AliSand i don't think it's that easy. Someone else might not ask for same things as you

He said "I need to do soul searching to know what I want." Translation: I don't want a relationship with you but I want to string you along indefinitely. Dump his ass after I figured it out 🤣

"Sticking to your reality." Great advice. I really wish I discovered Matthew 's channel years ago then i would have the wisdom without the destructive pain to teach me. There was this "nice" guy, he's really nice but he's not good. I used to make excuses for his actions towards me, because I wanted to believe he's a good person. But he's not, I should've stick with my reality.

"You're too independent for me!" I have said this to my boyfriend when we first started dating. What Matthew says, as always, is spot on. It was because I was USED to my ex who was on the emotionally needy side. Getting un-used to a relationship takes time and effort, but it's absolutely worthy. Now my boyfriend is still independent, but I just became more independent to match him. And we work wonderfully together.

“People will give you their reasons You need to stick to your reality “ love that ❤❤ it’s so easy to get swept away by trying to “help” or be empathetic when reality is they’re not right for you and they’re letting you know that one way or another

"I like you too much to be with you", I've just taken it to be that some people know they're too messed up to be a good partner, and I'm glad to be told early enough to get out than get my heart even more broken later down the road.

@Kat3111

Жыл бұрын

I once said to a guy who only was after sex with me: "I like you too much to just give you what you want". I knew HE is always so messed up and that I deserve a normal relationship, not casual sex meetings whenever he feels lonely. And I did like him a lot for some weird reason. There is nothing to like even 🤔

@Kat3111

Жыл бұрын

So basically I said to him the phrase your one said to you that I like him way too much to carry on seeing him. Meaning I knew he would break my heart as he is emotionally unavailable and is after sex only. Nothing else interests this man.

This channel, hands down, is my favorite… I trust the kind -no nonsense advice… May God bless this channel and each person who is looking for the answers they need…

@Chiungalla79

Жыл бұрын

@Conquest What you are trying there is the genetic fallacy in a nutshell. Don`t think fallacies are smart argument. Learn how to think correctly.

This is hilarious, no wonder our dating market is so fucked

@RG-hf4et

Жыл бұрын

It's actually pretty sad.

Choose someone who chooses you first. Remember that and you will never lose yourself or have wrong faith in mixed messages

He blocked me out of nowhere, then texted me a few weeks later saying he was toxic and he was being the bigger person by doing this. What you said about riddles is sooo true. I tortured myself for months trying to decipher what he meant by that, it’s pointless because that person’s words and actions aren’t matching up.

@lnilsson1376

Жыл бұрын

Sounds like he had some self insight and you should probably just believe him, instead of trying to know more.

@3mi3mi

Жыл бұрын

@@lnilsson1376 I couldn’t help taking it personally and analyzed everything I did wrong. At some point I had to just forgive myself by saying I didn’t know better to make peace with it. But yeah I think he was being hard on himself too.

@deborahemarine557

Жыл бұрын

He has a boarder line personality and you really want an emotionally unstable man??

I have treated so many men this way in the past ...it goes both ways . I wish I new myself more and had enough respect for them and me to have been better . I am now always up front and honest .

Huh… I've always thought the "It's not you, it's me" meant "There's nothing wrong with you, it's just I don't feel it (anymore, never did, etc.)/ I've changed my mind" So when someone says they're the problem, you listen and move on. Unless they want to fix it, is not your job.

Matthew, you're a life saver... I haven't watched any of your videos in ages but somehow you got into my brain and I am sooooo greatful for that right now. Don't want to bore anyone with the details but what I had in the back of my mind seriously kept nagging me when I was about to make excuses for someone yet again.

When I told him I loved him, he told me “ men have a harder time telling a woman he loves her”. “Does my actions not tell you I love you”? “ I don’t want to lose you”. So confusing!

@RG-hf4et

Жыл бұрын

It's not confusing. If a guy doesn't say I love you back, he is not in love with you. ...I said it once to a guy and he didn't respond. I wanted to die....I would never ever say it first to any man again.

Omg yes! Can we please have an updated reboot of the ‘what he says vs what he really means’ video for both girls and guys?😊😊😊. Lol gosh that feels like forever ago, but clearly stuck with me all these years later. Absolutely loved it 🌸

@098saw

Жыл бұрын

something for when a relationship is a few years down the line would be nice as well- i think we men can send confusing messages about marriage for example

@camellia8625

Жыл бұрын

MH is a dating coach for women (not men). You will need to look at dating coaches whose target audience are men for a male version of this advice

I love you, Matthew Hussey! Happy to live in this day and age when you can help us get our dream relationship!

Humbly disagree on one interpretation: I was too independent. I “didn’t need” my partner to fix things for me, I “had everything under control,” I “wasn’t weak,” keep pushing through issues in my life because I was “strong” instead of being honest that I was only hurting myself. I had to learn to share my feelings and stop trying to control everything around me. And started to actually listen to my heart. And it was and continues to be hard to be so vulnerable with another person.

Lol 😂 omg I love Matthew. I know this is not meant to be funny, it’s actually helpful. I have been following Matthew and his crew closely for almost a year. I just had to laugh @ his analogies such as the woman whose bf broke up with her but realized “he couldn’t swim” and so on and so forth. I am truly sorry for anyone here that has had their heart broken. I have been there. My man ghosted me and then came back about two months later. I cried for the first three weeks to a month multiple times a day, every day. I’ve never felt so strongly for anyone. But yeah Matthew knows what he’s talking about-truly.

"You're too good for me." Repeatedly said that, so I questioned him. Replied with, "I don't know, you just are." Pissed me off 😂

I adore Matthew because he is always telling the truth

This video and the things men say is a great reminder to watch what a guy does and not what he says!

‘….significance from a more nutritional internal source….’ So brilliant 👏👏👏

in these three years, Mathew really saves me. Always learned. Really appreciatted!

Haha resonate so much with the ‘I’m complicated and it’s not you it’s me’ Finally realised regardless of their intentions, being manipulative or truly is complicated for legitimate reasons, it’s not gonna be healthy for you. Exit as early as you can. ❤️

Omg! I have heard of these excuses before and I definitely progress in my dating process and not waste my time. Building healthy boundaries saves me from unnecessary heartache..

Those boat analogies had me laughing out loud!!! Particularly the “rusty tugboat”. haha Thanks for the morning laugh 😆

It was a reaaly fun video to watch when you recovered toxic situationships and finally in a good relationship

Another one is: after you’ve expressed a concern, he says - “I am not forcing you to do anything, you are choosing this. You can do something else any time you want.” - yet giving all the “answers” (which feels like lies) to answer whatever doubts you have. So confusing.

@vikki8699

Жыл бұрын

Gaslighting followed by dismissing your concern and ended with a warning "you can do anything you want" aka, I can do this to you but don't you dare do it to me. RUN!

@itsRudeGal

Жыл бұрын

@@vikki8699 yup

Wow. This is SO helpful! To hear these statements out loud and analyzed is eye opening.

I got tired of someone stringing me along last year. He would go weeks without communication, mixed messages, and other shady actions. I got very direct about the future and got his feeble answer. I had meditated about this beforehand about what I would say. I said it was nice to meet you but I’m not interested this game you’re playing. I cut all contact so he couldn’t slip back in. Best thing I’ve ever done. At that moment I realized my worth.

I was told twice “you should be with someone whose not working that way he’s available for you because my job requiring me to work more hours and I won’t have time to give you what you need “……I found out a year later he got married to someone else.

@melvinacampbell2543

Жыл бұрын

@Conquest soooo I’m not crying about it, I’ve moved on a lone time ago and I wrote what happened to me as many others have and I’m sure you’ve been thru situations when you dated also.

@d0onee344

Жыл бұрын

Thank God he left before he made you step on his sh*t .

@melvinacampbell2543

Жыл бұрын

@@d0onee344 Absolutely

@kaoshi_kutie

Жыл бұрын

@Watchout4Vsounds like you have been hurt and you haven’t moved on…

@csx6910

Жыл бұрын

Probably a nicer way of saying you were clingy, in all frankness.

Thank you MATT!!!! You have no idea how helpful the audio messages have been! Instead of having to search through your videos each time I need to be talked off a ledge 😂 I now have them in my pocket. Please do more of these❤❤❤❤

We all know deep down what these mean, but SO needed to hear it out loud 😅

Day by day, here in Brazil is like, I am staying with you and other girls, when I find someone better than you, I will leave you... This is because, today, I say what I am goint to have in my life before start to stay with a guy, and I am very careful when I say it, because a lot of guys really don´t understand what we say... Thank you Matt, for sharing so much and making our relationships better!!! Kisses from Brazil!

13:39 THANK YOU SO MUCH. THAT WAS DEFINITELY THE SIGN I WAS ASKING FOR! Not saying is gonna be easy, but realising the turning point is such a blessing!

Thanks Matt for clarifying some of the intentions. Someone used to provoke me constantly to push my boundaries and seeing where I was standing. Have to say I still had to find which were (still in the process of it) some of the boundaries but the fact itself that he insisted on saying the wrong thing/wrong behaviour with proud expression when I specifically expressed my disagreement, was a lot to take. I felt unrespected.

I'm very independent - so you explaining that one was on point and made me feel so much better. Thank you Matthew 😊🙏

Don’t you just wish you had a little Matt in your pocket to translate in real time? 😂 these were helpful and I’d be curious to see the confusing things women say

@gloriaa.2442

Жыл бұрын

Oh for sure!! 😂💕 like “Hey, Siri?!” But it’s Matt instead

You speak a lot of sense Matthew and I like the rationalisation of your comments. I would, however, suggest an alternate explanation of the, "You're too independent" statement. I have used this statement myself on one occasion. The lady in question was a single mother who took enormous pride in caring for her two boys (and had done so for quite a while). She was a good Mum, yet refused all sorts of help and still wanted to maintain a close and intimate relationship with me. When I tried to take initiative and step in to help out with small domestic tasks she would feel threatened. From this I concluded that when a partner doesn't accept at least some help it makes it very difficult to form a bond of trust. We all have our vulnerabilities and at times the modern world almost expects us to pretend we have none. I was willing to admit mine, yet she felt she had none. I did eventually explain to her that I had no clear purpose being in the relationship. And yes, I did say something very much like "You're too independent". I wish to point out that I offered that explanation so she had a clear understanding of why I was unwilling to invest any more time. I hope that helps people viewing here. It's just another way of considering that statement.

A guy said to me "I'm here until you're done with me". I ask what that meant. He said whatever you want it to mean.

It’s been interesting for me to watch you . I am very feminine based in my mind and my body and my spirit and a therapist… I grew up with three brothers so I get boys are boys and just navigate different. You are doing a great job at bridging that gap ! It took me a long time to realize mens path is so different and that they actually do experience connection so different than us ladies

I kept getting "I love you and I'll do anything for you but you're this and that and the other, too much for me bla bla bla... " I just told him "It's not me it's you..."

You were perfect in dissecting these

"Lets be exclusive but not bf and gf" "i have somethings to figure out, it is better if we are just friends for a bit" ... me ... spiralizes into wtf does that mean? What happened? Ok its on him. Now, 3.5 months later, no contact effort or followup (and he may be a fearful or dismissive avoidant) or not into me or not over an ex or truly working on himself, but for me, im out and wanna be with someone who is ready and who wants me and treats me as well as luke treats lorelai. It is exhausting - we are never ever ever getting back together - like EVER. (Cue ts) It is too disregulating and confusion. Palpitations walking on egg shells cortisol increases. White hairs weight gain sleepless nights. Forget it. The dating scene sucks but this hurts and sucks more. 4 years later. Not wasted, so much learned. I am a good person. I try hard, communicate, listen, etc and need someone who wants to do that for me and be like omg im with (my name)

@lindacox4176

Жыл бұрын

Keep it movin, you deserve way better

@joiluckadoo-villa9601

Жыл бұрын

Isn't 'let's be exclusive but not bf/gf' a stage of dating now?

@A22208

Жыл бұрын

@@joiluckadoo-villa9601 they want the benefits without the responsibility. Pass. No kisses until i have a title. My heart and safety matter and thats why it is so important to be friends first

It is relaxing to listen to him

You explained the "you're too independent" so well.

@jujuli489

Жыл бұрын

True!!

@csx6910

Жыл бұрын

For most men, it means the trajectory of your lives are different. If you both have different life-paths but want to be together, one of you is going to have to sacrifice theirs. For relationships, women will usually have to do that because the scope of the would-be relationship is, presumably, lifelong. Women are great with managing the short term but often struggle with plans that are decades out. Terrible as it sounds, once guys take off the 'sexual blinders' and see their partner is a liability for those long term plans, they often opt to end the relationship.

@vp5134

Жыл бұрын

@@csx6910 you're right... Especially if we're dealing with the ambitions kind of guy...

@keturah113

Жыл бұрын

@@csx6910 considering people often have/want children and/or care for family members. A woman's consideration of long term plans are not concrete depending on children/career/living situation etc. With all these considerations, a concrete 20 year plan is a waste of energy. Life evolves year by year. Anyone who doesn't understand that life plans must be re-evaluated yearly are not prepared to add anyone into their life.

@csx6910

Жыл бұрын

@@keturah113 What you just described is not the same as long-term planning. That's reaction, not action. Long-term planning is still required or you're simply going wherever the tide takes you. Long-term planning, staying with the same analogy, would be paddling to maintain the course you set despite the current trying to take you elsewhere i.e. ensuring the long-term plan is met. Men and women have individual strengths; there's no reason to feel threatened by acknowledging that fact. That's why men and women tend to be better together than apart, because they round each other out and help to offset the other's weaknesses.

Excellent video. Thank you as always! Also, I love Audrey as an addition to your videos! She is so evolved.

Some people just can’t be single and have to keep anyone on the “back burner”. Single life is wonderful!

Yesss, thank you. Loved this video! Also, you two are so charming!!

Love love love this video. So revealing

When she turned to the camera 😂😂😂

I just found out since I have been here watching your channel that I had hundreds of red flags in my past relationships that cause me pain when I remember them.

“I don’t believe in our future, but I’m committed to you now” 🙃

#4 was explained sooooo well. Thank you.

Don’t trust words until they align with actions and patterns. It’s easy to act good for a day or two but patterns of behaviour will tell you their true intention

Great video! I've read your book, too - also great, thanks for your guidance and putting it so eloquently. Bottom line- if you wanna be with somebody, you're going to be with them, or at least try to. Anything else and they don't want it/you enough to try. You don't deserve someone who meets your expectations, you deserve someone who exceeds your expectations. =)

How about…if he really wants to be with you, you will feel he wants to be with you because he makes effort and uses his words wisely when he speaks to you

#10 was right on target👍thanks Matthew.....blessings 🙏

This is one of the best practical videos ...

9:28 the way she looked into the camera 😄

The too independent one, I’ve heard men explain that as feeling like they can’t be useful to a woman and that they therefore shouldn’t be with her. It’s almost like if you don’t want what they offer to a relationship, then why should they try to have one with you.

speak the truth, Matthew... it's the only healer... 👍

"You're probably perfect for me" "You're a really good person"

@_tvbeauty

Жыл бұрын

“You’re a really good person” is so annoying to hear from them 🙄

@peaceofmindofpeace1650

Жыл бұрын

@@_tvbeauty Yes, I think theh say this to flatter to open us up so they can take advantage of us

@alisonnonumber

Жыл бұрын

@@_tvbeauty very underwhelming 😊

@oemj7147

Жыл бұрын

@@_tvbeauty Reverse uno card. Players dealing with girls the way girls deal with nice guys.

The 7:10 - 8:25 - When They Say "You're Too Independent" section is worth its weight in gold!! Very eloquent answer, Matthew! 💯

@11footmidget92

Жыл бұрын

It's not whether you are too independent, but whether you are only independent. Some people use "I'm independent " as a way to say I only want to positively impact myself, and that's someone who can be entirely calous towards others who are different from them. Community has no context apart from individuals, and the individual has no foundation from which to grow on without the community.

@Aritase

Жыл бұрын

Using the word "too independent" could be a nice way of saying "you only care about yourself, and don't give a F about me/us"

This was a great video. Thank you all!

people who confuse you they are achieving something with that confusen! love that

that shirt looks so good on you idk why specifically because it seems like a pretty standard tshirt, might be the size or cut or idk

Excellent episode 🙏🏻🌹✨

Thank you, this helps me

loved these videos great help would love more

Thank you so much ❤

"You're too good to be true"

Thank you Mathew

Another one of my favorites is, I work a lot, and I’m not sure where you fit in and maybe there will be a commitment maybe there won’t be. He was also 45 minutes late. I don’t know why he’s on a dating site if he’s so busy unless he wants a good time not a long time. Three days later I said I had a good time but I’m not sure where I would fit into your schedule! We never spoke again. I have no more time for these games.

@ladybird761

Жыл бұрын

Good riddance. Saved you some headache and maybe heartaches too.

It's so cool going back to these videos! I used to watch Matthew constantly when I dated men. I've since realized I'm a lesbian and I'm back here re learning all this, but this time for people I'm actually attracted to lol 😁

@lolomomo1953

Жыл бұрын

meanwhile im gay and watching these because dating is hard

@elysia_sky1525

Жыл бұрын

So the question is, is it easier dating women or are they just as bad? 😂

@michael_the.girl.

Жыл бұрын

@@elysia_sky1525 awww, you're question 💞 for me I wouldn't use the word easier, it was an adjustment having strong feelings come up that I'd never felt before, like jealousy.😬 But, as far as which gender is easier to date, honestly I think it's about the same when it really comes down to it. I was dating mostly toxic guys and when I started dating girls they were unhealthy too, because I hadn't taken care of my own issues yet(so I was also in an unhealthy place). There are so many really great people out there to date, but if you're in a good place you'll attract great people to you. That's what's I've noticed for me at least. But, for me girls are "easier" in the way that I'm turned on SO much easier and I like them more so it's worth it to put the effort into a relationship now that I actually want to find someone to spend my life with. I don't have to -try- to like women. Lol, there's my novel about it. 😂

I'm going to make a transcript of this so I never forget it!! Matthew, you are amazing! #sticktoyourreality

Ladies. All of these lines are straight out of the Player's Handbook: How to Gaslight Her. As soon as you hear these 🔼RED FLAGS 🔼have some self respect and move on to meeting a genuine man. If you stay, you are simply ENABLING his behaviour but choosing to live in denial. TC x

@lindacox4176

Жыл бұрын

Well said!!!

13:39 knowing that every human behaviour has a function, an objective, a goal, in their perspective. When there seems to be a gap between what they say and what they do, I feel dishonesty, or I don’t have a clear vision/answer, I take a step back and question what would be the function of the behaviour I saw, objectively, and in their perspective, the function of their response vs reactions, their communication, etc. I always keep an eye on their level of empathy, of authentic empathy, their insight, how easily they can admit when they’re wrong or of don’t know something.

This video is brilliant!

Great information!!!

Genius!! This is hilarious 😅😅

انا كتير بحبك ماثيو 💜 u r a genuine man

Thank you!!

#2 "I like you too much to be with you" = RUN! It means he treats his actual girlfriends like shit. Be glad you are not one of them... Find someone who can respect you as a friend, a girlfriend, and a human being.

Oh my god Matthew the "you're too independent" one is so frikkin insightful. I literally lived this as a man, desiring this from a woman because of the inability to generate the internal satisfaction for myself. This hits home hard. So true. Very happy that I'm in the process of deeply letting go of this :).

@elysia_sky1525

Жыл бұрын

A man who desires needyness instead of using it as a putdown sounds like gold dust ngl

@killitallaway

Жыл бұрын

"you're too independent" - he's insecure and needs someone to "need" him for self assurance and wow red flag.

Wow this was good stuff here! Thanks!!

The second to last one about “no labels don’t my actions speak louder than words” is literally my previous situationship.

Thank you