BIGGEST REGRET of An 80-Year-Old.

Автокөліктер мен көлік құралдары

Biggest Regret of An 80-Year-Old.
Speaker: Gabor Maté
#worklifebalance #trauma play

Пікірлер: 159

  • @sarah.j.777
    @sarah.j.777Ай бұрын

    One decision changed my entire life for the worse. Be *very* careful with your decisions, especially the people you allow into your life.

  • @trishspinazola287

    @trishspinazola287

    Ай бұрын

    Amen.

  • @yung_Latios

    @yung_Latios

    Ай бұрын

    Same

  • @edgetowntx7151

    @edgetowntx7151

    Ай бұрын

    Do not be misled: bad company corrupts good character.

  • @user-xf3qt8yn2w

    @user-xf3qt8yn2w

    Ай бұрын

    I did that too !! took the wrong path ! Sorry I did ,but we can't go back and choose again ,we must forgive ourselves and others ❤

  • @LososWay721

    @LososWay721

    23 күн бұрын

    Things always get better !

  • @pedro.almeida
    @pedro.almeidaАй бұрын

    That's Gabor Maté. Amazing guy, great books, speeches and interviews.

  • @kdh3706
    @kdh3706Ай бұрын

    You can read any number of books, you can attain any height of education, you can acquire as many degrees as you like but you can not acquire wisdom by any means other than time. Such is the quandary of man, by the time you gain enough wisdom to grasp life and really begin to understand things it's almost too late to matter.

  • @Babytronians

    @Babytronians

    Ай бұрын

    It takes a long time for us to have the wisdom that we were born with as children.

  • @mikejohn0088

    @mikejohn0088

    Ай бұрын

    Stated to perfection pal!

  • @chaitanyam2298

    @chaitanyam2298

    6 күн бұрын

    ​@@BabytroniansThat's very deep!

  • @davidholman48
    @davidholman48Ай бұрын

    I hope I look that young when I reach 80. And he makes an equally youthful and wise point.

  • @ronniep9272

    @ronniep9272

    Ай бұрын

    It's the hair

  • @Cass-ul7zf
    @Cass-ul7zfАй бұрын

    All the bs that I hear on KZread with virtue signaling “inspirational speeches”, this was the only one I genuinely resonated with and really needed to hear right now. Thank you to whoever this man is ❤️

  • @Sukunaglazer12

    @Sukunaglazer12

    Ай бұрын

    His name's Gabor mate, he's a Holocaust survivor and a pro Palestinian.

  • @fifikusz

    @fifikusz

    Ай бұрын

    @@Sukunaglazer12 No, he es an excellent psychiater...

  • @Sukunaglazer12

    @Sukunaglazer12

    Ай бұрын

    @@fifikusz search up, he's a pro Palestinian.

  • @TRUEC4N4DI4N
    @TRUEC4N4DI4NАй бұрын

    What a truly profound statement. We can go through time living our lives not realizing who and what we are missing but in the end as much as you want to you can’t go back.

  • @atalleywak
    @atalleywakАй бұрын

    He's absolutely right, and I practiced this up until recently when everything started becoming outrageously expensive. Life is more expensive now. Many of us have no choice but to work longer and harder not just to get ahead, but just to hang on to what we have ALREADY worked hard for. It's a burden we take on not by choice, but out of fear. Trust me, we hope the tunnel is short and there's light at the end of it sooner rather than later.

  • @ericthranduillvargaspenafl4011

    @ericthranduillvargaspenafl4011

    Ай бұрын

    Agree..your last statement struck me

  • @daves2822
    @daves2822Ай бұрын

    No one ever has been quoted when dying. : I'm glad I worked all that Overtime"

  • @joepangia4413
    @joepangia4413Ай бұрын

    “Being driven by unconscious needs to validate your existence, and where does that come from?” Well said Sir :)

  • @mikejohn0088
    @mikejohn0088Ай бұрын

    The glory of a young man is his strength while the glory of an old man is his wisdom.

  • @goranvujasinovic2888
    @goranvujasinovic2888Ай бұрын

    True happiness in life is having enough time to spend with family and friends. Everything else is less important because the only thing one can't bring back is time that's passed. Unfortunately, most of us realize it only in late stages of our lives when not much can be relived.

  • @1971sharki
    @1971sharkiАй бұрын

    Winnie the Pooh is a great teacher. I learned a lot from him and his friends.❤

  • @davidjohn5639
    @davidjohn5639Ай бұрын

    This is unexpectedly beautiful. He is right of course. Joy is so important!

  • @trishspinazola287

    @trishspinazola287

    Ай бұрын

    Joy is the strength of God!!

  • @tims1542
    @tims1542Ай бұрын

    Such a beautiful man. The world will be a much poorer place without Gabor

  • @robbiegreen491
    @robbiegreen491Ай бұрын

    Nearly 39 and I wish I had made better decisions. I feel so alone and unloved. I promised myself after cancer treatment I would not waste it. Now I feel trapped.

  • @tara34952

    @tara34952

    Ай бұрын

    You are only 39! Believe me, that's nothing, you are still so young! You've still got plenty of time to turn your life around and create a life that makes you happy. Trust me. All is not lost!

  • @nancyhsu5565
    @nancyhsu5565Ай бұрын

    EXQUISITELY and POIGNANTLY said! I adore adults that are playful; I'm one of them. It is utterly beautiful to meet those rare strangers who are approachably friendly and kind - who express their joy openly without embarrassment. Yes, use extreme caution on who you allow into your life and trust yourself when things go wrong. I struggle alone, but I'm rediscovering simple joys from my childhood that I practice as often as I can. I'd love a partner in crime - fun!

  • @TG-po9vo
    @TG-po9voАй бұрын

    This hits home so much. I feel his every word and filly agree with him on this…

  • @chrisbrooks6756
    @chrisbrooks6756Ай бұрын

    He's 100% correct. Work to live, don't live to work. Enjoy life a little bit each day, because once time is gone, you never get it back. Things are just things, money comes and goes, joy is priceless.

  • @JosephSullivan-ix3lj

    @JosephSullivan-ix3lj

    Ай бұрын

    I agree that you should follow your dreams, but dreams without goals are just dreams. I also think that you should take time to enjoy the little things in life, like Robert Duval in lonesome dove said, a cold glass of butter milk

  • @jeremysipes44
    @jeremysipes44Ай бұрын

    Make yourself rich!Enjoy life!

  • @moods2892
    @moods2892Ай бұрын

    What a legend. Always soulful and to the point. Leading thinker❤

  • @clydenolet736
    @clydenolet736Ай бұрын

    He’s not wrong .. the shift is .. he has 80 years of experience and because the brain is designed to fine what’s wrong.. he is focusing on the lack over the 100% of life that was lived. Play IS important and as a performance strongman it’s my gift to the world.. and as a strategic intervention coach I I can tell you that we all feel the same way this 80 yr old does .. if we choose to focus on it.. but when we choose to focus on the good? 80 years of memories .. what a gift.

  • @thereisnonebesideshim
    @thereisnonebesideshimАй бұрын

    You just have to love Dr. Maté 💝 What an inspirational and emotionally intelligent human being 😮 One of the few people "out there" worth listening to. When he recited the last words of the book, it brought tears to my eyes too!

  • @shelleycharlesworth5177
    @shelleycharlesworth5177Ай бұрын

    Being a work-driven workaholic is never a good way to live. BALANce is key to everything-work-play-etc.

  • @nedzadbadnjevic6885
    @nedzadbadnjevic6885Ай бұрын

    Most humans recognize too late what is life about.Not money.Familly and people that you love is the most important for me.Life is too short.

  • @ursyugighaha4561
    @ursyugighaha45612 ай бұрын

    Be driven to work hard but take some time also stop and appreciate life. It is the balance that makes someone happy I dont think that we will get a price or that we will be proud when we age. So that is the point of everybody choosing their own way of living and setting their own goals.

  • @tylerbenjamin3842

    @tylerbenjamin3842

    2 ай бұрын

    I'd say it depends on what "working hard" means. If it means working 60+ hours making very little in a menial job, that's just being taken advantage of. If it means working 32-40 hours while being highly efficient, honing your skills in a higher level occupation, then that would be ideal, I feel.

  • @sarahgodin6212

    @sarahgodin6212

    Ай бұрын

    ​​​@@tylerbenjamin3842🥰🙌🤲

  • @sarahgodin6212

    @sarahgodin6212

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@tylerbenjamin3842❣️

  • @ursyugighaha4561

    @ursyugighaha4561

    Ай бұрын

    @@tylerbenjamin3842 agreed

  • @jbri1

    @jbri1

    Ай бұрын

    ​@@tylerbenjamin3842it's different for everyone

  • @nimrodbeck2179
    @nimrodbeck2179Ай бұрын

    מהמם. ערבבו קמטים, מוזיקה נוגה ותובנה בשני שקלים וקיבלתם אלפי צפיות. אין לי ספק - אף אחד לא יודע שהוא צריך חופש לפעמים, תודה לאל על הקליפ המדהים הזה, שינה את חיי בשנייה.

  • @FriendM2010
    @FriendM2010Ай бұрын

    Greetings from SoCal. So articulate and sincere. Great short video, glad I watched it. 👍👍👍

  • @gdavidelliott
    @gdavidelliottАй бұрын

    This works both ways. True that it's important to appreciate life as we work through it, but also it would be a tragic waste of life to never realize your true potential having squandered the opportunities to achieve success. Balance and focus are both important.

  • @TG-po9vo

    @TG-po9vo

    Ай бұрын

    As you get older and have less time on this earth, priorities shift and achieving full potential, imo means working to live, not living to work. To find joy in everything one does and to spend the precious time with the loved ones. Balance is the key and often this subconscious drive to justify our existence does not allow for the balance.

  • @gdavidelliott

    @gdavidelliott

    Ай бұрын

    @@TG-po9vo I agree, but he is not speaking about his later years, he speaks of youth - "If I had it to do over again" and "I wish I hadn't worked so hard", is offering advice to a young person.

  • @JozefTrubac
    @JozefTrubacАй бұрын

    I keep watching this.

  • @user-vr3ko2ji5o
    @user-vr3ko2ji5oАй бұрын

    Absooolutley. Ya know. I have a background in classical music. Competitive field. My goal in the past was to be the greatest guitarist in the world. I did my studies at the top conservatories in Europe. Was an amazing experience though. I started with passion bit whole there for a time I started trying to justify my existence with it. At the end of the day that pursuit will leave you cold. What you wanna do is - do the things that when you get old you'll be happy you experienced them. For me that is generally being healthy and living a lifestyle i love. It's not always about ignoring finding meaning but finding meaning in a path you like. For me as a guy in his early 30s and fit women are a big part of my life. Beautiful women have always been some of my greatest memories and enjoyments. Also family. Parents being happy is a big thing. These things far outweigh and Lamborghini or mansion.

  • @theprodigalson4003

    @theprodigalson4003

    Ай бұрын

    Only got one comment Bot

  • @user-vr3ko2ji5o

    @user-vr3ko2ji5o

    Ай бұрын

    Nah bruh I'm not a bot lol. And not looking for cpmments. Just speaking truth

  • @moisestrujillo9528
    @moisestrujillo9528Ай бұрын

    Jesus Christ that alone sentence is what i feel like i have been feeling all my life like i need to justify my existence like i have a purpose but in the words of alan watts so many people get so caught up in the process of achieving something greater then themselves that they forget that the simplicity of life is just to live

  • @user-ou3ky4cc5i
    @user-ou3ky4cc5i21 күн бұрын

    Balance is important. Yours and mine are both different. Nobody is wrong and nobody is right. Why the quandary? Why doubt yourself as that ship has faced countless storms?

  • @littlegems72
    @littlegems72Ай бұрын

    No one needs to validate their existence. Enjoy your life now as much as you can. Don't feel guilty at all. Let go and make the best of what you have 😉

  • @sniffableandirresistble
    @sniffableandirresistbleАй бұрын

    I always put fun first ❤

  • @andrescarrera713
    @andrescarrera713Ай бұрын

    no words👏

  • @philipmulvihill1455
    @philipmulvihill1455Ай бұрын

    an interviewer asked actor Paul Newman the same question Newman said I wouldn't have worked so hard

  • @helenaville5939

    @helenaville5939

    Ай бұрын

    Every person facing death says the same thing - historically.

  • @AndrewDaniele87
    @AndrewDaniele87Ай бұрын

    My ex is an entrepreneur, she could really benefit from watching this, we could have had that joyous life together, instead she was disappointed in herself for not going after a millionaire. It would be on and off, the next day she'd question why I'm not happy in the relationship and ask me to just leave. Finally I left and she has tried to call and text to get me to come back. Unless she understands the ideas of this video, she's never going to be happy and that's sad.

  • @tesco632
    @tesco632Ай бұрын

    As a man child I agree

  • @BellaDama456
    @BellaDama456Ай бұрын

    Wise man ✨

  • @ettbattresverigenu
    @ettbattresverigenuАй бұрын

    I never did that mistake and I m so grateful for it and so are my kids.

  • @olivermatias2349
    @olivermatias2349Ай бұрын

    💗

  • @jenniferwells9032
    @jenniferwells9032Ай бұрын

    I get you❤️🌺

  • @wingberry123
    @wingberry123Ай бұрын

    Wow ...

  • @Rubinsotelo7816
    @Rubinsotelo7816Ай бұрын

    💯.

  • @sarahgodin6212
    @sarahgodin6212Ай бұрын

    😍

  • @vcab6875
    @vcab6875Ай бұрын

    Chldhood trauma can quickly convert an innocent child into an Adult cautious of risks and danger.

  • @miklosgergely2356
    @miklosgergely2356Ай бұрын

    👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

  • @letsgobuddies
    @letsgobuddiesАй бұрын

    U can work hard for ur family just balance your time or give them time

  • @applegreen4118
    @applegreen4118Ай бұрын

    Some people prefer working - they find socialising stressful - everyone is different

  • @cannotlivewithoutrice

    @cannotlivewithoutrice

    Ай бұрын

    well, seems that old guy wasn't even aware how important belongingness to people he loves until he read the book at age 80 you guys are pretty much the same, i presume.

  • @edzehoo

    @edzehoo

    Ай бұрын

    well he didn't really say anything about socializing. He said to spend time with the people you love - wife, kids , family.

  • @phead23
    @phead23Ай бұрын

    Wow

  • @gwynnielsen5081
    @gwynnielsen508128 күн бұрын

    I think this particular regret is probably quite common among older men. I am pretty sure my own father probably had the same regret, but in the '50s and '60s men were the breadwinners, so to speak. They had to work extra hard to pay the bills and fulfill the needs of their families. They did what they had to do. What they probably didn't or don't realize is that their loved ones still love them regardless.

  • @-cloudsaboveuscrying-6805
    @-cloudsaboveuscrying-68053 күн бұрын

    "don't forget to play"

  • @bossthouna5754
    @bossthouna575426 күн бұрын

    I came from reels

  • @sarahgodin6212
    @sarahgodin6212Ай бұрын

    ❤️🙌🤲

  • @ricardoslhenriques
    @ricardoslhenriquesАй бұрын

    If kids are what justify your existence, then one would be righteous to assume no human being is self-justifiable....

  • @serafinatruth4029
    @serafinatruth4029Ай бұрын

    We should regret every morning, every evening, every second, minute, hour, day, week, month we failed to give Glory to God, to praise his Holy Name or at least stayed in prayers to hear his Voice for guidance. Everything God wants us to know is written down in the Holy Scriptures. To regret something is when we want to make Peace with Our Father.

  • @martine2651
    @martine2651Ай бұрын

    Well, looks like I am doing at least one thing right :D

  • @work1907
    @work1907Ай бұрын

    I’m a bit of the opposite. After those grueling years in dental school I’ve finally made it and now I’m taking it easy and I’m happy but it makes me think sometimes should I start climbing again?

  • @Skepticof
    @SkepticofАй бұрын

    Damn

  • @LourdesEllisRegan
    @LourdesEllisReganАй бұрын

    What is this life if, full of care, We have no time to stand and stare

  • @helenaville5939

    @helenaville5939

    Ай бұрын

    Indeed! 👍 Of all sad words of tongue or pen, The saddest are these, "It might have been."

  • @silverwindspirit
    @silverwindspirit8 күн бұрын

    Remember, you can replace your job and the money you have in your bank account. What you can't replace is your life and the time lost that you should have enjoyed,

  • @louskuntz819
    @louskuntz819Ай бұрын

    This is why I like not working farting on my couch and eating Wendy’s !

  • @Monsieurfluffy....
    @Monsieurfluffy....Ай бұрын

    He's right

  • @zueszues9715
    @zueszues9715Ай бұрын

    That guy did not miss anything ! Everyone chosen and blind to other choice we never know end of the road of choice "B" becuase we went to choice "A" and found choice "A" not perfect maybe nice and alright... And you know what choice "B" at the end is "not petfect maybe nice and alright too!" Every choice dose ! No perfect choice , ONLY real bad bad bad choice that is real You did not miss anything !

  • @keystoneplumber
    @keystoneplumberАй бұрын

    Bidenomics has me working my balls off just to afford groceries so i wish i could follow this advice

  • @eugkra33
    @eugkra33Ай бұрын

    Like the end of Toy Story 3.

  • @coolyungdru
    @coolyungdruАй бұрын

    Being driven to succeed comes from childhood trauma? Ok bro.

  • @michaellopez2070
    @michaellopez2070Ай бұрын

    It’s not childhood trauma. It’s adult realities. You have bills, rainy days to protect against, competition you have to win or be shunned. People tend to know what’s best. Plenty of work people have unrewarding party/personal lives, but that doesn’t necessarily mean those aspects of their life would substantially improve if they worked less, so they’re better off working. Similarly, plenty of party people or relationship people don’t get that much from work/aren’t going to get life changing money or social services or personal reward from it, so they’re better off living for the fun times.

  • @Banana_Split_Cream_Buns
    @Banana_Split_Cream_BunsАй бұрын

    This guy, Alan Watts and a combination of edibles and shrooms, helped me understand why I was using meth and helped me get off it.

  • @helenaville5939

    @helenaville5939

    Ай бұрын

    Alan Watts is indeed worth hearing. And well done! 👍💚

  • @theonlywestfree
    @theonlywestfreeАй бұрын

    If you're lower class: this makes no sense If you're middle class: you'll soon understand If you're upper class: this is spot on

  • @daniel_shal

    @daniel_shal

    Ай бұрын

    whatever you say

  • @747Cone

    @747Cone

    Ай бұрын

    You’ll soon understand…as if social mobility is a one way street. Lol

  • @wodongalife4572
    @wodongalife4572Ай бұрын

    Well I’m 50, I’ve worked from 17 full time in various fields. I’ve served my country overseas, I’ve raised 4 sons. If I stopped to play, they don’t have a home. My existence is to work and provide for them. Moreover, if the governments stopped mismanaging the economy I might be able to play with them. Cost of living today… who can afford to stop?

  • @jimmycain8669
    @jimmycain8669Ай бұрын

    74 years old and regret nothing but getting caught in 1969 and catching a felony conviction. Maybe I should have stuck up more drug stores in the sixties other than that no regrets.

  • @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful
    @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-GratefulАй бұрын

    Who is the man that Gabor is speaking with?

  • @connectwithgrowth

    @connectwithgrowth

    Ай бұрын

    Dr. Chatterjee

  • @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful

    @I-Am-Prosperous-I-Am-Grateful

    Ай бұрын

    @@connectwithgrowth Thank u!

  • @twoeyedjack6836
    @twoeyedjack6836Ай бұрын

    Hard work never killed anyone. I 'm not taking any chances though.

  • @dilekavan5796

    @dilekavan5796

    Ай бұрын

    😉

  • @corniel657

    @corniel657

    Ай бұрын

    Tell that to the japanese or Korean

  • @twoeyedjack6836

    @twoeyedjack6836

    Ай бұрын

    @@corniel657 I would if it didn't seem like a lot of effort.

  • @quranfans
    @quranfansАй бұрын

    Every soul will taste death. And you will only receive your full reward on the Day of Judgment. Whoever is spared from the Fire and is admitted into Paradise will ˹indeed˺ triumph, whereas the life of this world is no more than the delusion of enjoyment. (Qur’an 3:185)

  • @mrhatman675
    @mrhatman675Ай бұрын

    Lol this couldn t be more relevant I am here just waiting to die

  • @serafinatruth4029
    @serafinatruth4029Ай бұрын

    I regret everything I did which was not fair towards God; that I was depressed, that I had sex before marriage, that I was not good to my little brother. People are so stupid when they regret they did not have enough fun. When this life is a split second and next Life It s for ever.

  • @babyboomer9560
    @babyboomer9560Ай бұрын

    Someone told me all that’s important is to find a job that will provide for your family eight hours a day and come home to your family.BTW I’m 78 yo.

  • @LoveSerah
    @LoveSerahАй бұрын

    And how about making money? Sustain a living? Taking care of our family and kids? Money dont just fall from the sky to 99.99% of the people in this planet. If we dont do that, a bigger, negative impact it would bring to our future lives. Work play balance is always a lie to people of that age.

  • @alialias3913
    @alialias3913Ай бұрын

    Just realised after a lifetime pursuing worldly desires/pursuits , he has nothing fullfilling to show for it !

  • @romelmadrayart
    @romelmadrayartАй бұрын

    Actually disagree to a certain extent , people work hard and long and sacrifice to validate to the employer eating, having a roof over their heads and their children. Maybe even being hopeful of a brighter future for their offspring

  • @JozefTrubac

    @JozefTrubac

    Ай бұрын

    Could be. But I imagine many of us are chasing unnecessary goals while scarifying joy too much. This definitely resonated with me

  • @crichtonhamilton7775

    @crichtonhamilton7775

    Ай бұрын

    And our valued destiny ,very often ,comes to nothing .

  • @clydenolet736

    @clydenolet736

    Ай бұрын

    Depends on their blue print for life. Nobody works without reason but we all have regret when we chose to find it.

  • @frankdramli2151

    @frankdramli2151

    Ай бұрын

    And then the offspring does the same thing, and the offspring of the offspring does the same thing. Then what's the point? To hope that somewhere down the line your watered out DNA is thriving in the year 3215? I understand what you are trying to say, i do appreciate what my parents did for me, and surely will do for my own children. But this man is asked what HE regrets. He worked to much, and was to driven. Essentially that's just a better meal or a fancier roof over your children's head vs spending the day, the week, or the month with your son or daughter.

  • @romelmadrayart

    @romelmadrayart

    Ай бұрын

    @@frankdramli2151I understand what you are saying and i understand his personal opinion but I disagree with it because it is a very polyanish kind of view. For him the sacrifice made were for transitional rewards better car, house, etc. And in a sense he is right all rewards are, because there is death - the prince and the pauper bears this. From a societal point of view he is a prince, he has status, recognition to a certain extent and probably has left a legacy of opportunity to his offspring etc. but for others - (paupers) just being able to have the next generation survive is a win and their answers will be different . For example the poor/ dowtrodden in countries like India or Latin America, Caribbean may answer quite different because they are still on shaky ground with the only hope being the next generation i a dangerous society that crushes those on the ladder (and there is no escape from the ladder, except for the poor to be fodder for the rich)

  • @maboi6116
    @maboi6116Ай бұрын

    So much bull in the comments. Cant you guys just listen without jumping to conclusions for five minutes?

  • @Night.League
    @Night.LeagueАй бұрын

    Yea winnie the pooh is good

  • @frankmurphy5
    @frankmurphy5Ай бұрын

    He's not wrong, but if he didn't work his ass off he might've ended up broke at 80. That's the whole point, for better or worse.

  • @helenaville5939

    @helenaville5939

    Ай бұрын

    No, the whole point is that what works is balance. Work AND play! Don't do too much of one at the expense of the other. That's what he's saying.

  • @checkdown3774
    @checkdown377425 күн бұрын

    My biggest regret was not helping the Germans and bin laden. Now we got Joe and trump 😢.

  • @marilynyoh7951
    @marilynyoh7951Ай бұрын

    Becos he was a rich physician who gave his life the best financially. He suddenly feels bad cos he has a house and pension for feed him at 80.

  • @gelothegogang

    @gelothegogang

    Ай бұрын

    Thanks for ruining it.

  • @dickmullen3750
    @dickmullen3750Ай бұрын

    Its all part of life. There is no right way too live. The most valuable thing you can have in life is being grateful for what you have now, since history is fiction and the future doesnt excist. You only have now.

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