A guy visits a cannibal restaurant. On the menu: Lost tourists, $10. Missionaries, $15. Politicians, $25. He asks the cook "Why so much for a politician dinner?" The cook says "You ever tried to Clean one of those things?"

Love the politician joke - so true.

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

thank you

@davidhorn6008

Ай бұрын

It was a crap joke - not a joke a shaggy dog story!!!

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

I knew that you would like my jokes😁😁😁

You know it is a joke because no politician is ever gonna get to stand in front of those gates... straight to hell... do not pass go... do not collect $200.

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

yes. it is funny

@NUTFLICKS

Ай бұрын

LMAO

@annep.1905

Ай бұрын

Well, um, King David went to Heaven. So did several of his descendants.

@ChapmanGriffith

Ай бұрын

LOL

@user-dx6jo1cm9c

Ай бұрын

or in Bidens case 200 million....

Jokes told in a soulless machine voice don't work.

@tambrosia

Ай бұрын

just think if Robin Williams or Johnny Winters told these jokes, you would be wetting yourself LOL

@brianmsahin

Ай бұрын

@@tambrosia Yes , it's all about the delivery isn't it!!!👍👍👍👍

@Demun1649

Ай бұрын

@@tambrosia I'd prefer Nerine Skinner, or Matt Green. They talk "proper".

@doonewatts7155

Ай бұрын

I always turn the sound off it's better that way

@sandradavies7804

17 күн бұрын

Turn off the sound and read the captions then.

much too long for a joke.

@johannebaker9730

Ай бұрын

These used to be called shaggy dog stories… my old Dad could keep one going for days! 😂😂😂😂

@leahsinger145

Ай бұрын

TRUE! It's insufferable.

@beritbranch2436

Ай бұрын

ditto

@thethinkingman-

Ай бұрын

when there babies die do they get 72 vigin? it makes you wonder!

@brianbanks703

Ай бұрын

@@beritbranch2436 double ditto

Hell of a long way to say "There appears to be no punchline."

@drflash36

Ай бұрын

Agreed!

@barbarajoyce6424

Ай бұрын

the punchline The second means there was only 2 lines instead of three. None for the drink or punch

@doemme53

Ай бұрын

weren't those extra long jokes with hardly a punch line once called shaggy dog stories?

@greylady4560

Ай бұрын

Thanks for the comment. Now I don't have to watch it. :)

@doonewatts7155

Ай бұрын

Yes they were@@doemme53

Ah!!!! I really got into that too! That's 12 minutes of my life I'll never get back. 🙂

@dianescardace3687

Ай бұрын

Well, I suppose that was Hell for you.

@horaceball5418

Ай бұрын

Will you spend eternity with God or perish in hell (people do NOT burn forever, just read John 3:16 they pay for their sins and perish. God is not a monster who burns people eternally.@@dianescardace3687

@havatselet

14 күн бұрын

Read your comment and listened to the whole thing anyway. D'oh! Serves me right!🙄😣

Man dies, goes to Hell. He's sitting in sh*t up to his waist, a lot of others too. Just as he says to them "Well, it's not great but it's nothing like as bad as I thought it would be", a supervising imp with a trident fork arrives ands says "Teabreak over..........Heads down".

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

goood, funny joke

Vintgae jokes - slightly prehsitoric, yet still top class! 💥

Haha! “Yesterday, we were campaigning, but today you voted!”

I know another one. A bus driver and a priest die. At the pearly gates Peter looks at the bus driver and says: come in. Then he turns to the priest and says: you go down to hell . The priest, confused, replies: but why? The busdriver was allowed in . Yes, replied Peter, when he drove, everyone prayed, but when you preached, everyone slept.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

very good !!!

The AI voice is grim. So are the jokes

@doonewatts7155

Ай бұрын

I always turn the sound off it helps

@pkd6369

7 күн бұрын

EVEN LOOKS grim especially the mouth

Hell is no joke.

If that was the best joke of the day I would hate to hear the worst.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

ok thank you

@fahey5719

Ай бұрын

The second one was worse.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

okey

I agree its too long for a joke!!

Long winded effort but funny. No punch line. ha

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

thank you for comment

@colleenclements5715

2 ай бұрын

Ha

Joke 1 is good. I'll come back for joke 2 some other time, Tks.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

ok, just don't forget

Exactly!

Loved the politician jokes.

Best joke I've heard in a long time very apt.

Sorry..too long ..lost interest 😱😡

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

OK

@user-rz5qb1co4q

Ай бұрын

Me too. I didn't finish it

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

Thank you, subscribe to the channel😅😅

@AlanBoddy-fl2qp

Ай бұрын

​@@JOBJOKESone liners -boom.boom Please 🙏🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

@peaceful3250

8 күн бұрын

You missed a really good punchline.

5.08 minutes of my life wasted in the first joke.I do realize I was in joke hell.

It's amazing what people find humorous.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

okey 😆😆😆 subscribe to the channel

Don't underestimate. I know of a seasoned politician who could negotiate with St.Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"A major discovery was recently made with far-ranging implications for black holes being a potential cause of saddlesoap agglutinates during the Paleocene-Eocene Thermal Maximum. This is a game changer for giant balloon jungle snakes. But don't jump to conclusions. Others might pick their nose but I was born with mine. Properly used, a gravitational indicator will indicate that gravity is gravitational. I didn't get it at first. It just seemed like yet another instance about unlimited salad and breadsticks. But it was a wonderful opportunity to pause for a moment and give thanks for mantle plumes and flood basalts and convex polyhedrons. That is the raw truth of it because halloween pumpkin spice lattes with oatmilk are void where prohibited. Today is a good day to tie-dye a singularity when you know the reason why. Would you like to know more?" ---Albert Einstein

too long winded and not terribly funny

Almost fall asleep 😴 while watching and listening for the joke story to end, the darn story is too long.

These aren't jokes. They're stories.

These are indeed excellent jokes!

Thought first one was beyond funny made me roll a bit long winded but sooo true yesterday w were campaigning you voted...so true..promise heaven get hell always choose heaven devil great deceiver

Life is too funny to be a joke.

That was a great joke, so true

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

yes, thank you

We wrote this on bathroom wall...WHY LOOK HERE, THE DIRTY JOKE IS IN THE WHITE HOUSE

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

very interesting, but I don't understand🤣🤣🤣

Hell must be full of these jokes🥱

@JOBJOKES

5 күн бұрын

yes, That's for sure

Heard it before. And so true.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

okey 😆😁😅

Death is like being under anesthesia.

That's time I'll never get back again🙄

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

yes, you are a kind person

This man could put naughty children to sleep in just one story.

Damn the first joke is 100% accurate!

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

I am very pleased thank you

@drjanines3301

Ай бұрын

It is!!

It only shows how politicians do their jobs in real life= after election - broken campaign promises, over-spending of taxpayers' money, etc 😂😂😂

@JOBJOKES

12 күн бұрын

yes this is true in many countries

Fell asleep!

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

thank you

Thanks from thailand

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

yes. thank you

Dreadful- we were conned!!!

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

this is not true, I will sue you for libel and win 1 million dollars😁😁😁

Lol! I had a feeling thats what was going on!

toooooo looooonnng...

The politician hell joke is quite old...heard it in various versions. The second joke is new to me. Was quite funny.

So Funny

😂😂😂 good one

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

thank you

Joke time: Hey. Ya heard what scientists are now saying? They're saying "The longer for one reason or another, we stare at our smart phones, the greater the danger of becoming a zombie." Tell that joke and either get a laugh or not. If you get a laugh, say "I'm so glad you laughted because if you didn't, it might for you be too late."

JOKE 1 about the politician was long but worth watching. The language was superb - creative, with no errors. Was it written by GPT?

Hell is no joke, and eternity has no end. Don't be a fool in his/her folly! God does not send anybody to hell WE choose heaven or hell while we are still on this earth.. John 3:16-21

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

Amen !!!!!!

@JJNow-gg9so

Ай бұрын

A Bible thumper... GOD LOVE YOU.

@karitahannikainen4734

12 күн бұрын

Don't be so serious!! And how do you know what is and where?? Experienced!!?? 😂

@JOBJOKES

11 күн бұрын

yes, good answer

Hell is NO Joke and neither is the anger that God will have by mocking Him.

@talastra

17 күн бұрын

It's amazing what people find humorous.

Second joke, God listening to it was like being in the Fourth Ring.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

okey

Given a choice between a luxurious hotel and surroundings and spending time with God, I'd quickly choose God. No amount of anything will ever draw me from an eternity with God. The Son of God, Jesus Christ, died for the forgiveness of my sin, and meeting Him and the Father is my heart's desire. May you also find peace.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

thank you

Congressional Office of Robot Attacking.

80 days around the world to get the the joke 😩

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

I didn't understand😁🤣😂🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

I liked the first one.

Good (but 2 long) joke

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

thank you, sir

By the end of the second “joke” I couldn’t remember the first.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

yes sir, you are a kind person

I'm starting to consider KZread as the fourth ring. (rewritten with AI)

I can see he isn't standing but on his knees begging for forgiveness. Sorry, you're a day late and a dollar short (put in terms he can understand).

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

goood 😁😁

People who have NDE and have seen hell can't joke about it..

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

thank you, I didn't understand

That was a long long joke for a short laugh

Yes, they sucked me into that second joke....the one with the great punchline.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

thank yuuuoo

Could have been half as long

Oh well

Sounds like the last 8yrs in Canada

4.40 - is a soddering iron similar to a soldering iron or is it only in hell?

Even on double speed that was totally dull. Thanks for wasting minutes of my life😐

So I sat patiently and politely through the last one and didn't get a punch line. 😞

Save your time: skip to 11:55,

😂😂😂

These robot announcers are getting better. This one sounds almost human. UGH.

the politician joke I heard before and the second was a was a total waste of time...

@JOBJOKES

29 күн бұрын

thank you, subscribe to the channel

Funny ...but I beg to differ, Marilyn Monroe wouldn't be in hell. I would bet anything, she, wouldn't. I'm just saying.

@LS-ei7xk

Ай бұрын

Same for Gandhi.

Yeah... but needed a big edit.

FIN.

The "joke" is that you don't know what "joke" means. I gave up after two minutes. Life is too valuable to waste ten minutes on what seems to be bulding up to a one-line joke.

AI telling jokes.

trump had an accident which rendered him unconscious for a year. When he woke up he had no memory of the past. "Who am I doctor?" he asked. "Well, I have good news and bad news. The good news is you were once president of the US." "Wow!" said trump, "That is amazing!" "The bad news is that you are donald trump!" responded the doctor.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

ha ha ha very good 😆😆😆

Lol nah look at context fast forward to end. Punch line..

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

thank you

long joke.

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

yes, long

You have got to be joking

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

yes I'm kidding 😆😆😆

That's ten minutes I'll never get back. Won't make the same mistake again! If that was the best joke of the day, I'd hate to hear the worst.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

👍👍👍

մեկը չոեչոք,մյուսը' սողալով,վարգելով ԱՍՏԾՈ մոտ է իբր' գնում,ԱՆՈՒՆՈՎ' խաբելով ստամոսը լցնում,մեկն էլ,ի ծնե ԱՍՏՈՆ իր մեջ ունենլով ասող է,ձրի,շնչոլու պես հոշտ,ու' հիմար,չխնդրելու աստիճանի,քանզի' գոհ է մննյից...+**12

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

I did not get anything

Another bait to listen to AI rattling tale.

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

thanks for the comment

All of them are waaaay too long. Especially the last one. Cute joke, but needs to be three circles, if nothing else.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

Hmmmm .... 🤫🤫🤫🤫

Kim did this in real

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

to be honest I didn't understand😁😁😁

Is this a joke or a short story?😅

I'll never get that 12 minutes back. Not funny!

Watching this was a sheer waste of time. Boring would be an understatement.

Why start with "so"

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

i dont know 😁😁😁

IM DONE, TOO MUCH WINDY

👌👍😹😹😹👏👏👏👏

That is not true.

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

okey maybe

Did AI write this?

@JOBJOKES

Ай бұрын

I do not think so

Utter cobblers!

I don't have all day to listen to this joke. I am done.

@JOBJOKES

2 ай бұрын

thank you

Too long. I give up watching.