Thanks for interviewing me ☺️

@jfinney225

10 ай бұрын

I commented already that it’s terrible your mother said that to you but I’m so proud of you for doing what you still felt was right for you regardless of what she said. Way to go dude. I just wanted to make sure you seen this. ❤

@tanyaranks

10 ай бұрын

I'm a 37 years old french woman, and i feel exactly the same, that's crazy.... !!!!

@ScottyFang

10 ай бұрын

Thank you for doing this interview! I find a lot of similarities in what you said and have often wondered if I have sociopathic tendencies (not GENUINELY caring about people in the way you see other people capable of caring, and in my case with seeing people as objects, I more premeditate any interaction I have with anyone to go in my favor. I don’t care about love so I used my body for money thinking “well if men are gonna use me, I’ll use them right back, get paid” and I’ve also not reeeeaaaally felt long term happiness for quite a few years now, so I’d just like to say your honesty IS valid, and your interview is MUCH appreciated for people like us who can SEE what normal should be but we just can’t…get it if that makes sense? And I’m sorry you felt SO uncomfortable opening up in the interview, I also laugh when I’m nervous and rock myself to self sooth, you’re not just numb, you’re brave, and I appreciate you doing this so those of us with any type of mediphobia who are afraid of all the bills that would come with a diagnosis can relate and self reflect within ourselves. Thank you ❤

@hellaSwankkyToo

10 ай бұрын

THANK YOU for sharing your story. i'm especially grateful as a fellow deeply melanated Black woman. 🥰

@belandino

10 ай бұрын

A few seconds into the video and I feel like I have to post already. What I want to say is: don't worry, nobody is "normal". There's no such thing.

What she’s talking about is “cognitive empathy.” Technically she doesn’t _feel_ empathy the way people without her diagnoses do, but she practices it cognitively. She chooses to be empathetic, which I think is pretty cool.

@poot-poot

8 ай бұрын

“Is it better to be born good? Or to be born evil, and achieve goodness through great effort” - Paarthurnax

@MsMckenzie2011

8 ай бұрын

@Wooters1I feel like most people have to occasionally. You can’t genuinely care about everyone that exists🤷‍♀️

@chrisbarrett8377

8 ай бұрын

Thats what I had to learn in life. Otherwise I would have been the worst

@kerryh3833

8 ай бұрын

isn't that called sympathy? Empathy is a feeling, isn't it?

@OedipusSimplex

8 ай бұрын

Cognitive empathy? That's like saying cognitive romance. It's not a difference of _feeling_ empathy but a *lack* thereof. Feigning an emotion isn't practicing one. She has no brain circuitry for empathy. She has no intuition for it. If she could get away with not masking she would prefer that. There is nothing cool about it.

Her mom disowning her is a prime example of mental illness stigma. It’s awful.

@Solscapes.

8 ай бұрын

That fact (among others) makes me doubt her diagnosis, and think it's more fitting for her mother.

@abjectmadness1111

8 ай бұрын

@@Solscapes.…yeah no. Let’s not use her diagnoses to insult others??

@recoveringsoul755

8 ай бұрын

Autism is genetic. Maybe her mom wants everyone to think her family is perfect and has no problem. That would tie in with not getting help for her child, not acknowledging her child could possibly even need help. Many people think anything less than perfect is a weakness and reflects badly on them. Even though autism is from birth and not something a person has control over. The mother might feel ashamed that her daughter somehow is flawed. This is interesting though. And is good to know a person can be autistic and still be antisocial personality disorder too

@Solscapes.

8 ай бұрын

@@recoveringsoul755 actually, there are a lot of scientists saying that, but they can't find specific genes, just clusters of them that seem to imply genetic susceptability, not a genetic cause. There is still an environmental factore that is not being addressed, for at least a large portion of us. It's not a vaccine. Isolation, whether through neglect or just overworked parents, causes too many "autism-like" syndroms for me to discount it. I was left alone as an infant for most of my first years. People in the hole develop it. The romanian orphans did. People in lockdown.... Genetic "causation" is the capitalist narrative so they won't get blamed for all the autism THEY cause by overworking parents.

@kingjoseph5901

8 ай бұрын

Wild its still around in 2023

One emotion I see from her soooo clearly is shame. She feels so ashamed that she cannot care for others and interact with others the way society expects, and it just adds to the trauma she has experienced. I feel for her and I hope she finds a team of professionals and a community to get her the help she needs. She's so brave and wants so badly to be with others and be cared for in the ways she has clearly been denied all her life, and I hope that she gets that.

@user-hu6lr3vr7g

3 ай бұрын

Sociopaths have low or no Empathy, it is highly unlikely she feels a lot of shame as Empathy and Shame go hand in hand. She most likely has shame but it's in a reduced form than normal, she would be able to over come her shame better than most to get what she wants, trust me that's how sociopaths work. Empathy, Shame, remorse stops people from doing anti-social behaviours, if she had high levels of shame she probably would not say things like "I don't care for my friend", "If I had money I would leave him", she doesn't feel shame like normal people that's why she is anti-social.

@Crabby-Abby

3 ай бұрын

@@user-hu6lr3vr7g "trust me that's how sociopaths work" are you a psychologist???? She also was diagnosed with ASPD under significantly inappropriate circumstances, which many in this comment section have pointed out. She doesn't fit it in a lot of ways.

@kt68866

3 ай бұрын

​@@Crabby-AbbyI'm glad you said that, because ive been like. Identifying with this woman so hard and im like. Stressed 😂

@Crabby-Abby

3 ай бұрын

@@kt68866 sending love! Make sure you find a good therapist 🫶🏼

@jameberlin8539

3 ай бұрын

@user-hu6lr3vr7g that diagnosis was BS. absolutely shocked at the behavior of the therapist, who should lose their license to practice. You're also misquoting her. He asked "IF YOUR FRIEND STOPPED CARING ABOUT YOU TOMORROW, would you be able to move on without any problem" and she said "if I was financially stable, yes." This is actually different than "if I had money I would leave him." It's a common trauma response to move on easily from relationships. Her diagnosis was egregious, that therapist should lose their license. EVEN IF she fits the diagnosis of ASPD , she should have had so much more in the way of assessments than she got. That therapist marked her for life because she couldn't contain her own emotions which was literally her ONE job.

This baby is in survival mode. She's protecting herself, her whole self.

@ande1805

3 ай бұрын

Yessss c-ptsd bad

@Eatthispuzzee

3 ай бұрын

relatable

@guhrizzlybaire

3 ай бұрын

Yeah I was seeing a lot of myself, I was wondering how much is her stifling so much down. Poor girl.

@markstoyreviews6641

2 ай бұрын

I can’t be in Survival mode talking about my own Disorders

@porscheprairie3232

2 ай бұрын

She's just crazy

I love how she said "what normal people do automatically, I have to do manually". That is such a quick and clear way to explain being neurodivergent.

@RuthMcDougal

9 ай бұрын

Yes!!!!! The amount of energy NDs have to use because of this.

@onceuponawalkingdeadpll8355

9 ай бұрын

What is neurodivergent

@treeaboo

9 ай бұрын

@@onceuponawalkingdeadpll8355 A broad term for conditions wherein people diverge in mental or neurological function from what is considered typical or normal. The term was coined for Autism and is usually applied for such, but can also include ADHD and various other similar conditions, many of which have neurological relations to Autism and ADHD, and are often comorbidities (anxiety disorders, dyslexia, etc). Its antonym is neurotypical, as in someone who doesn't have such conditions.

@onceuponawalkingdeadpll8355

9 ай бұрын

@@treeaboo bless your heart THANK YOU 😊

@ambo9569

9 ай бұрын

Yes 🙌🏽

Despite her diagnoses, it's obvious she's still trying to be the best person she can be. That says more about her than her diagnoses!

@Mybawws

3 ай бұрын

Commending her on how hard it takes to fight her own self to make you comfortable makes me feel our society is profoundly sick

@foldedchip7551

2 ай бұрын

@@Mybawwsit’s not that simple, though. It’s okay to have autism, and it’s okay to have disabilities, but part of this woman’s disability is a disregard for other people’s well-being. You have to take other people’s well-being seriously if you’re going to live in a community. That’s different from other qualities, like not relating to your peers or having a different range of emotions. I agree that people with any kind of disability should be accepted and valued as members of the community, I’m autistic myself, but I don’t think it’s wrong to commend someone for changing behavior that truly harms other people, and isn’t just different.

@medeacassandralogos

Ай бұрын

Exactly

@georgplaz

Ай бұрын

you don't know that. is she trying to be her best self? or is she trying to be as good as she has to be in order for people to stay with her? And I don't say this as a value judgement, there just usually isn't an internal motivation to be a "good" person with ASPD peeps

@TheoRae8289

Ай бұрын

@@georgplaz She did mention not wanting to be alone. Rejection is something she knows hurts her ability to navigate the world. She's just been so traumatized her brain rewired in a way that didn't include the ability to naturally connect with others. Cutting yourself off to any sort of vulnerability to ward off the possibility to more of that harm.

"Why are you masking right now?" Wow, loved how he recognized that and let her know it was unnecessary.

@drjsauber2879

11 күн бұрын

❤❤❤

Not having empathy doesn't automatically make someone a bad person. Even without empathy, one can practice compassion, and it seems that she does.

@kaileymo

9 ай бұрын

True. Not only that but I think compassion, by definition, is treating someone well when you really don't want to.

@michaelsi6770

9 ай бұрын

lol, it's like a man can practice being a woman and get pregnant one day........................

@AJTheInvisibleGirl

9 ай бұрын

what are you talking abt. @@michaelsi6770

@kuroyamaevisekai

9 ай бұрын

​@@michaelsi6770womanhood isn't defined by getting pregnant nor is every women able to get pregnant anyways and empathy and compassion are wildly different concepts to that anyways so idk what you were getting at lmao

@kuroyamaevisekai

9 ай бұрын

@@criticalthinking9924 You can understand why a situation might be hard for someone with logic and what you learnt without necessarily feeling their emotions or knowing what exactly it's like for the other person, cognitive empathy as opposed emotional empathy in other words

I actually think it’s amazing that she can’t technically feel empathy but she chooses it. It shows that she IS genuinely a good person.

@petrumare

6 ай бұрын

She could just turn her emotions on but doesn't. This isn't a good person, she said it herself indirectly in numerous ways.

@fungustheclown666

6 ай бұрын

​@@petrumareShe literally never said or implied that you daft dingaling

@edsp666

6 ай бұрын

​@petrumare you have a fundamental misunderstanding of her personality disorder. She cannot simply turn her emotions on, she's not a robot.

@Cobbido

4 ай бұрын

You're just falling for her lies fool.

@YungMisfit20

4 ай бұрын

No she isn't. You ever heard before that people with antisocial personality disorder are EXTREMELY MANIPULATIVE

7:30 is so important to correct, she DOES feel emotions, just not social ones. For example, she feels happy whenever her friend brings her favorite food. Or she feels frustrated when she’s stuck in traffic. She’s not a robot, BUTTTT when it comes to social interactions and situations where if I were to share I got fired from my job and now struggling to get food, she wouldn’t care. She’d logically know it’s bad, but emotionaly not feel any empathy. Just wanted to mention this incase anyone else was wondering how she even functions if she never experienced ANY emotions lol.

@robertabalbino574

13 күн бұрын

I was questioning myself exactly about it! It makes sense.

@CreatorsHubVu-pd2du

5 күн бұрын

So I'm her then

It’s hard to understand yourself when you’re ‘broken’ as a child because you never know what it feels like to be ‘normal’.

@094Dasha

3 ай бұрын

Absolutely . It took me over 30 years to finally start understanding the real me...or what was the real me ? What has left of the real me ..I don't know , but you get what I'm saying :)

@doomngloom96

3 ай бұрын

I wish I got to meet who I was supposed to be

@keonashorter9714

3 ай бұрын

She's not broken. She's different.

@thefreequency

3 ай бұрын

What do you mean by this? Genuinely curious

@user-lo6um3xf6s

3 ай бұрын

@@doomngloom96😭 good point

If I take her story about her therapist at face value, that therapist was totally out of line. It isn’t the patients job to commiserate, empathize, or modify their story for the therapists benefit. If a therapist is triggered by a patients reality then they should refer the patient to someone else. Period.

@windsongshf

10 ай бұрын

My ex husband and I were going through our break up of our 15 year marriage, and we both saw the same therapist separately, because we had read that having the same therapist put our odds in favor of getting back together (instead of separate therapists where they only get one side of the story) and we both wanted to give it a good shot. She was very helpful in many ways, got to some issues I needed to deal with etc. but as time went on, I knew I could never be with my ex again and eventually came to that conclusion. When I told her we were going to follow through on the divorce, she started to cry softly. It was very uncomfortable. I mean I don't blame her really, I'm sure after getting to know us she was rooting for us, but just something about it suddenly becoming personal for her made me feel very awkward. I didn't make any further appointments after that. Btw, my ex and I are very happily married now to other partners for the last 20 plus years now. We chat every once in a while like old friends. We were kids back in the day when we got together.

@ClearwaterKB

10 ай бұрын

Which really makes me question the ASPD diagnosis given to her by that therapist.

@windsongshf

10 ай бұрын

@@ClearwaterKB After a few other therapists for other reasons, I just don't trust them as much anymore. I remember the whole "repressed memories" thing back in the early 80's. Sure sometimes stuff happens and you suppress it, but it was such a "thing" back then. I think a lot of times therapists love "labels" and quick fixes!

@matthews832

10 ай бұрын

there are so many different qualifications that allow someone to become a therapist. the industry is a mess and there are so many people who enter the field who have absolutely no business doing what they're doing.

@katiekawaii

10 ай бұрын

​@@windsongshfYeah, that caused, and continues to cause, so much damage. It's awful. But I wouldn't let that turn you off therapy entirely. The spectrum of psych professionals is so vast, it can take a lot of trial and error to find a good one, but there _are_ good ones are out there. Great ones. I've had two excellent ones, and I'm so glad I kept at it until I found them.

She has every right to be angry as she was abused as a child and that is so wrong.

@christinaleigh7156

10 ай бұрын

😢 my 💯 thought as well, and through the whole interview the trust to care is what's at fault

@irisking8739

10 ай бұрын

And she said there wasn't a single place that she wasn't being abused.

@christinaleigh7156

10 ай бұрын

So heartbreaking....

@renarich4942

10 ай бұрын

Jesus can heal totally. I know that has become a cliche but it’s also true

@surajrshetty

10 ай бұрын

I beg to differ. 🙏🏽Sometimes people who went through lot of pain use it as a justification to harm others. We all need to preserve our moral compass no matter what happens to us.

I have ASPD, and it really sucks. You have to work twice as hard to think and operate as a “normal” human. You want to be around people, but you can get burnt out super quickly, because normal people don’t understand your differences. They lack the patience it takes to relate to you and understand you enough to connect with you. They tell you to try harder to be normal, without realizing that you’re being as normal as you’re able.

@happydaysrcoming8792

3 ай бұрын

You know I just might have ASPD too and PTSD. And I do have an Anxiety disorder and OCD and Social Pragmatic Communication Disorder. But no Autism. And no Bi polar. I also feel some are being very overly diagnosed too! Due to lack of research and lack of interviews like these, Shout out to Chris thanks for getting involved and doing these interviews. I was worried for her safety please protect her after this interview.

@prestonferry

3 ай бұрын

That sounds more like autism to me

@waneshawright-smith7162

3 ай бұрын

I'm not diagnosed with anything but isn't amazing when someone tolerates or includes you? Sigh of relief

@firdosabashir6585

3 ай бұрын

can you please state those mental ill differences @@happydaysrcoming8792

@Mybawws

3 ай бұрын

Be yourself unless that person is obsessed with trains

Nails it about the therapist crying, getting angry and then being triggered enough to triple label her in a psych eval that will probably follow her around and cause yet more issues for her. "Like, I thought they got training so they wouldn't take on the client's issues ?"

@georgplaz

Ай бұрын

don't jump to conclusions whenever you only have one side of the story. maybe especially if that one side is a person with ASPD

I diagnose her with “every single person of power and family in my life has failed me 100% of the time syndrome.” I love you girlie, and I’m praying for you.

@MISNM0

10 ай бұрын

THIS! Of course I can't state as fact but this does look like what you said to me as well.

@naimahsochi2683

10 ай бұрын

Yeah she seems VERY SUPER self aware with a cognition that is not typical of Autism. I’m the mom of a 17 year old Autistic son, I’m not an expert but just my humble observation.

@MISNM0

10 ай бұрын

@@naimahsochi2683 I agree with the self awareness.

@2Siders

10 ай бұрын

Before passing judgment, it’s important to hear both sides of the story. The therapist’s evaluation of ASPD could be wrong, but the girl’s story about the therapist might also be exaggerated, intentionally or unintentionally. I hope she can find a therapist that can help her.

@MISNM0

10 ай бұрын

@@2Siders A key point to always be included.

I felt for her so much when she said she didn't hurt people intentionnaly and was like, "I feel so bad" and he asked "Do you?" and she could only burst out into nervous laughter and say "I don't know..." Like she understands cognitively that hurting people is bad, and that's enough! But it seems like she knows a person would typically _feel bad_ for doing bad things, and _says_ that she feels bad. Like... lacking the ability to feel remorse doesn't automatically make you a bad person! She's clearly developed a moral compass and doesn't hurt people on purpose, yet she still feels the need to say that she "feels bad" and gets so nervous when called out on that fib. It's like she can't quite pull the mask down for fear of looking bad or being judged as a bad person, and I can't imagine how exhausting that must be.

@Didleeios88

10 ай бұрын

Sounds kinda BPD more than aspd. She doesn't know herself at all

@uniquebluekash12

10 ай бұрын

You explained that so well 😢

@uniquebluekash12

10 ай бұрын

@@Didleeios88no I have bpd definitely different we feel emotions intensely we have no control of our emotions so it hard to place which emotions is accurate and we can also become numb with alil sprinkle of imposter syndrome 😭

@Didleeios88

10 ай бұрын

@@uniquebluekash12 I see thanks for sharing. I had heard that BPD have a hard time identifying who they really are but I didn't realize how differently that manifests. Take care of yourself 💕

@Didleeios88

10 ай бұрын

@@cDumstr you might want to edit that to say self-flagellating 😅😅 (sorry I have a ten year old boy's sense of humor)

Wow. Her level of self awareness is beyond. Thank you for sharing this interview

@magical571

2 ай бұрын

be careful. it is something performative. Them being aware doesn't mean them truly feeling that is wrong, or feeling genuinly bad for how they treat others. See, even in how she talks she is vicitmizing herself, but we do not know how sh etreated those who left. it is commong for those under the aspd umbrella to be assuvie friends, partners, etc. do not infantilize them because of a sad backstory.

@Hbk-gc7st

Ай бұрын

​@@magical571Victimizing?! Have you heard what she went through? She was very forth-comming about what she did to others. You sound like the therapist that "diagnosed" her. Stop projecting, because you don't know her

This interview helped me understand my son(15) a little better. He always says he has to pretend around everyone except me, so I get the anger and sadness. He says sorry 100x a day but it doesn’t seem he really cares. Thanks for sharing your story Cassie

@highpeacetess

3 ай бұрын

That's so amazing he has you to be real with, I think he really does mean he's sorry he just needs someone to hold safe space while he gets it out 💕

@simplymanda523

3 ай бұрын

Wow I’m mentally ill and my mom and sister see the worst side of me. The two people I love most and it breaks my heart. But I cannot control it sometimes and it sucks

@simplymanda523

3 ай бұрын

Thank you for making your child feel comfortable. We need that. More than you know!

@catsseighteen4365

3 ай бұрын

You are an amazing mother if your baby doesn’t have to pretend around you. Blessings

@c.hlorine

3 ай бұрын

I'm glad you're taking some time to try and learn about it. Sometimes I show my angrier, uglier side to my mom and I feel incredibly guilty.

bro this girl is/was abused. Her mom saying she'd disown her? This is TRAUMA manifested. I hope she finds peace and happiness and humanity.

@Royalteelive

8 ай бұрын

I agree with you. There appears there may be some mental abuse which will split off to other mental issues. She's very smart, and has alot of emotions. It just appears noone has validated her humanness. I pray for this amazing young woman. I wish I could tell her, "You are important & worthy of love!"

@gogogadgetabby

8 ай бұрын

She says she was in the interview.

@em-dy3hn

7 ай бұрын

She could be lying. As her said, don't trust her. Lying is a big part of the ASPD profile.

@AtheneHolder

7 ай бұрын

I agree. what type of parent tells their child they'll disown them if they come out and speak on what they're experiencing? that's madness.... wonder what her mother has been through to be able to say some ish like that

@lololola991

7 ай бұрын

@@AtheneHolder yup and the trauma cycle continues… poor girl isnt even fully developed mentally (autism) and is being told she has incurable illness(aspd) that villianizes her that she is internalizing as her permanent identity for stability and no doubt is traumatizing others as a result and feeds her mothers issues and abuse as well. I see glimpses of empathy and her person in there… such a shame.

"I will disown you if.." is emotional abuse and probably was the breeding ground of the antisocial personality disorder. This is a really excellent interview. Thank you for sharing your story.

@lauren8627

9 ай бұрын

​@isisDarkGoth I know psychopathy is very heritsble, but living with parent/s who are also likely psychopaths HAS to play a role. Epigenetics has a lot to answer for.

@anoushadewan

9 ай бұрын

Exactly my thoughts. I don’t think this girl has ever had a moment to be soft.

@annataymond9529

9 ай бұрын

@isisDarkGothsociopaths generally have better empathy than psychopaths although typically they have to be prompted to actually think about it and don't really do it on their own often.

@jessaelf

9 ай бұрын

Thats exactly what i was thinking

@vickiezaccardo1711

9 ай бұрын

That is so sad, and I do know what it is like to have someone with similar issues in my life. It can get insane, but I love them dearly. Sometimes you need to put a little space, but I would never discard them.

“I care about him because he cares about me” man I felt that. I find it very hard sometimes to care about other people even people who are nice to me and genuinely do care for me. I am also often confused about the idea of friendship and romantic relationships and just socializing in general. I just don’t understand the idea of attraction and what draws two people together whether as friends or romantically. Although I’m not diagnosed with ASPD I am on the spectrum and this video hit home in a very personal way.

@birdlover6842

3 ай бұрын

@saraferguson1156 I feel the same way.

Her hair is so beautiful, the volume, I love it

"idk how to talk, my mom said she would disown me if I talked about my disorders" is really depressing to hear

@AnotherTruth

10 ай бұрын

Yes there it is

@keeper6458

10 ай бұрын

It absolutely is

@middlechild2592

10 ай бұрын

Yes. It sounds like her mother is embarrassed and/or in denial.

@wesleyalan9179

10 ай бұрын

I feel like she was mostly joking though

@FairytaleSF

10 ай бұрын

My mother doesn't want to tell people I'm autistic because she doesn't want people to see that she has two children with disabilities (my sister is also special needs), but I don't care what others might think. 🤷🏻‍♀️

As someone living in the CaribbeanI would tell you she is right... they will call you slow and they will punish you instead of trying to understand you

@rnbsteenstar

10 ай бұрын

That is horrible!

@saintejeannedarc9460

10 ай бұрын

I had a good friend who was very chemically sensitive. I do wonder if Sheila wasn't on some sort of spectrum too. She admitted to being antisocial (her words), yet we would talk for hours until we were both starved. She was very sick w/ environmental illness, and quite a loner. Her mom was Caribbean and was pretty tough from what Sheila said. She said she couldn't tell her mom she was sick, because her mother didn't believe in it, so she tried to make out like normal and just didn't talk to her that much anymore.

@reekaselman5942

10 ай бұрын

My life. I grew up in the Caribbean and I have ADHD and my entire life I have had to learn to mask and was misunderstood. When she said “I tell people what’s wrong with me and then they say no you don’t. And then they get upset when you do something”. That is accurate.

@capricornlove4816

10 ай бұрын

It's true, I have family from Belize and yes, we don't talk about mental illness at all

@citrusbutter7718

10 ай бұрын

And if you talk about it they get mad because you're making THEM look bad.

"I'm angry that I woke up" SO relatable. Oh my gosh. She's great at putting things into words even when it's hard to. A great interview.

@itsnevertoolatetodotherigh3271

3 ай бұрын

😢

She’s so right….it was not her job to comfort her therapist. Good lord that therapist is in the wrong profession

I loved when she said "I mask for them." Felt that as an autistic woman myself. Doing it so neurotypicals don't feel bad.

@_einodmilvado

10 ай бұрын

Yep

@DDtona93

10 ай бұрын

It's like a nurodivergent love language.

@EphemeralProductions

10 ай бұрын

Or so that you don't get judged, yelled at, or piss people off. Like I do.

@m.micaela6874

10 ай бұрын

No es por nosotros, es por ustedes que no quieren desencajar.

@caydancebloom

10 ай бұрын

or because the energy required to educate them about the issues just feels more exhausting than masking

Like a wise person once said: all children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children

@kajakajusiakajusienka6940

10 ай бұрын

Fr bluddy i dont even live with them

@ayakowilliams4571

10 ай бұрын

True that!!

@carolynbaker4250

10 ай бұрын

Not all people who have children have earned the title of parent!

@missnaomi613

10 ай бұрын

Amen!

@FairytaleSF

10 ай бұрын

Not all parents can deal with children with special needs. They just want neurotypical kids and, when they have kids with special needs, they don't act accordingly and don't make an effort to know how to act with them.

I think she cares, she’s just so confused because she has to put effort into exhibiting certain emotions. The way she behaves is more in line with PTSD than anything. I think she’s more of a traumatized autistic individual who exhibits acute symptoms of ASPD as a prolonged trauma response but it’s not hard wired. No way, she seems sweet and very troubled and some of these symptoms she describes were positive (acquired).

@vikm1341

Ай бұрын

You would be surprised. Sociopaths just don’t feel emotions to the same extent of others.

@bunnysinc5267

25 күн бұрын

Exactly what I thought

Holy crap........ I once went out with a woman who acted almost identical to this lady.. she wasn't diagnosed with anything but the way she saw everything and everyone was just like this. Absolutely incredible.. I am stunned.

The way she was treated by that therapist was completely unacceptable and I’m sorry that happened. She deserves better

@19Marc79

4 ай бұрын

To me that sounded as if the therapist was emotionally overwhelmed or triggered, which most propbably negatively impacted her judgement/perception of Cassy.

@essenceofpsych

4 ай бұрын

Nonetheless it is not a patient's duty to support a therapist.

@brianmeen2158

4 ай бұрын

I’d caution in believing everything that some random person on KZread says.

@Bindismom

4 ай бұрын

There are a LOT of bad therapists out there and I’m so sorry she was subjected to that one. This girl needs a break! Joseph has certainly given her a soft place to fall for the first time in her life.

@baph0met

4 ай бұрын

When I was 18 my therapist after 2 years of getting nowhere cursed me out infront of my mom to the point we both agreed that the therapist was crazy. The therapist said that they basically give up on me, that I'm a lost cause and that this never happened to her before. After few months I got diagnosed with ASD. Turns out many therapist have no experience with autism, so make sure you pick the right therapist before going to them.

People need to understand that just because some ppl don’t feel or experience emotions doesn’t mean they don’t have morals. I think there’s a lot of good people with personality disorders like this. It clearly takes a ton of work to get to a good place but it’s possible

@clintparsons3989

10 ай бұрын

Like Dexter

@tenshimoon

10 ай бұрын

True, and even the lack of emotions in itself isn't even proof of having a personality disorder. Lack of emotions or understanding them can also indicate things like Alexithymia, severe PTSD/C-PTSD, emotional burnout, or even major depression. (Edit for spelling error)

@aldogama999

10 ай бұрын

I prefer no to be the one that will try to find out ahah

@jonasandezekiel1109

10 ай бұрын

​@@clintparsons3989that's a fictional character. Stay in reality.

@jonasandezekiel1109

10 ай бұрын

​@@tenshimoonshe was diagnosed with aspd so you're just making excuses for her. I guarantee you she's not someone you want to know in any capacity, especially when she needs something, and thinks you might have what she wants.

HOW PRECIUS JOSEPH IS

@JackedBlack88

Ай бұрын

Joseph is getting used. 😂😂😂

That's terrible....her mother should be the first one to support her, not hide her and make her feel like she has to mask who she is

@effie3798

10 ай бұрын

It’s easy to judge parents… who knows what this girl may have done to the mother.

@Chaz_Mahoney

10 ай бұрын

The girl probably ruined her mother's dreams and aspirations for the rest of her life

@chipkid

10 ай бұрын

@@Chaz_Mahoneydemonizing much?

@Mooms

10 ай бұрын

@@Chaz_MahoneyWhy are you demonizing her?

@HaightTheGreat

10 ай бұрын

As a parent you raise your child to succeed in the world they live in. It's very difficult to do that when your child is clinically different from that world. Difficult for all parties involved.

I appreciate this. I understand why she doesn’t go completely mask-off. Her livelihood depends on mirroring. If she removes the mask then she might risk where she sleeps or her next meal.

@dann736

10 ай бұрын

I agree , she seems like she's been through a lot it makes sense that she's masking.

@lucy4660

10 ай бұрын

Nailed it, pretty sure in a soft white underbelly interview she details being bullied in a women’s shelter for that exact reason

@StreetcarDesire

9 ай бұрын

Period. This is the reality for a lot of people.

@thesilvershining

9 ай бұрын

Bingo. She can’t help how she is, she has to do what she has to do to survive

@justinw1765

9 ай бұрын

@@thesilvershining To say that she can't help how she is, is to say that she doesn't have the potential for positive change, growth, healing, and/or transformation. It sounds like she has already grown and changed some for the positive--I'd to think that she can even more. I know you said what you said out of empathy, but I'm a big believer in the power of will/freewill also.

“I think I’m broken. I don’t think I can ever be repaired” is something I’ve literally said word for word before, it’s so accurate to the experience of having a personality disorder. It feels like something fundamental that makes you human is just broken and can’t be fixed.

im a 21 year old black girl who was recently diagnosed with bpd and autism and cptsd and this was so therapeutic to listen to especially the waking up angry all the time😭thank you for sharing your story i know it was hard

It's hard to FEEL human, when the people the closest to you are bashing you for BEING human...

@crimsonmckenzie98

9 ай бұрын

@alzzz Agree 100%

@ascendingneet2263

9 ай бұрын

THIS

Watching this young woman struggling to feel "real" emotions, makes me feel sad for her. It feels like her true personality is hiding behind all of her trauma. Her nervous laughter is almost like a cry for help. I hope she finds emotional safety and healing one day 💗

@crazymike1706

10 ай бұрын

I feel bad for her too. The problem with the term real emotions is that it can be subjective

Therapy needs to be highly regulated. So many therapist dont know how to deal with 90% of mental health issues.

Sometimes the patient has more insights than the therapist!

Chris is making me laugh sometimes when she talks about feeling a certain way or being sorry "I'm sorry!!" - "Are you??" - "I feel so bad right now..." - "Do you??"

@aanimavilis1492

6 ай бұрын

My therapy session often looked like this! This is very helpful to make you aware that you have feelings! I have very similar history and my symptoms was VERY similar to her I started to feel positive emotions after four years of being in and out therapy Ofc every story is different but I think she could be happy! Just need professional help

@QGuides

5 ай бұрын

Yes. I loved this.

@SchgurmTewehr

5 ай бұрын

It’s a valid question. And she said multiple times that she either doesn’t know, or doesn’t feel that way. And you would know if you feel it.

@k.c.r.5974

5 ай бұрын

@@SchgurmTewehr would you though???

@bridgettemccool4820

5 ай бұрын

Because she doesn’t, she’s just learned to use the giggling and silly behavior to manipulate others.

Waking up angry is so horrible, and its definitely a trauma thing. Much love to her. I hope she finds contentment with herself. She is worthy to exist and find contentment just the way she is.

@nandeboleine

9 ай бұрын

I couldn’t believe that I heard that come out of her mouth. I feel so seen. For much of my life, I’ve woken up every day angry that I’m still alive. I’ve never heard anybody else say this.

This was relatable af, especially when she said she doesn't feel anything for an entire day so she pretends and laughs when other people are laughing - it's not even because she enjoys it but just so can avoid being looked at differently and so she does not turn into a social outcast.

"I mask for them" is a statement that echoes through my whole body. "I dont even know what I sound like" is so relatable. I hope she captures her voice and gets a chance to have meaningful connections and people who care about her with full understanding of what she has been through.

Enough trauma can literary make you emotionally numb and even "crazy" (whatever that mental disturbance or alteration looks like).

@misse7154

10 ай бұрын

Sociopaths and people with autism are generally considered to be "rational". I wouldn't put them in the crazy category.

@meganshea4240

10 ай бұрын

This. You can put a wall up and shut down and NT call you “crazy”.

@sachafreedom9134

10 ай бұрын

Absolutely! My adult son has autism and was bullied in school. As an adult he wanted friends, but because of autism, he could understand how to make relationships work. He was taken advantage of which caused him emotional trauma. Now he has PTSD and he has encapsulated himself emotionally and now feels apathy (not having feelings), due to the trauma.

@Wordsthatbloom

10 ай бұрын

I do agree but would keep in mind that will never validate the unfortunate actions that people with this high level of trauma do to others. So yes they need help but the actions that hurt others do to these people being so traumatized is not okay

@MISNM0

10 ай бұрын

Agreed.

It takes a lot of courage to be so transparent and so vulnerable about a very stigmatised topic. People usually have understanding for most disorders and behaviors straying from the ”norm”, but sociopathy is still a topic that’s being tiptoed around and rarely talked about in greater detail. By the way, that hair is absolutely FAB.

@annamnaushad7431

10 ай бұрын

moi ll lm lllll loll

@debrahubscher2514

10 ай бұрын

You're beautiful & you've helped me understand a little more about what you deal with. Thought he was a tad bit pushy on such a delicate issue...?

@starry_night05

10 ай бұрын

@@DonnellOkafor”atrocity” you mean.. an Afro?

@cerealis_5432

10 ай бұрын

@@DonnellOkaforthe hair that naturally grows out of her scalp? Do you hear yourself?

@PurpleNoir

10 ай бұрын

@@DonnellOkaforher hair is gorgeous!

Despite the problems she has , I feel she is a beautiful person, her honesty in this interview was very brave and therefore applaudable

She has experienced a lot of pain in childhood which is showing up in many aspects of her adult life. She needs love and understanding. I hope she finds the right professional help and support she needs. Sending her hugs

When she said "I wake up angry , angry because I woke up" I totally understand . I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety and it is a very different mental condition but that part I get it .

@saintejeannedarc9460

10 ай бұрын

I don't have that kind of anger, but I can relate to being disappointed that I woke up, again, and have to face yet another day.

@ambriaashley3383

10 ай бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤❤ sending so much to love to you both. That is a very lonely feeling & yet we’re not alone

@hatake5587

10 ай бұрын

Girl bye.

Chris is almost a therapist himself. His questions are so insightful and kind.

@Richandhealthy88

10 ай бұрын

I love him, watching these videos has changed my life❤

@tinyking11

10 ай бұрын

His questions are fantastic 🔥🔥

@saileebniss1782

10 ай бұрын

Chris has autism

@derekaitken

10 ай бұрын

He would probably be a better therapist than 80% of the ones who have PhDs. Our system sucks.

@dewilew2137

10 ай бұрын

@@derekaitken most therapists don’t have a PhD.

As someone with ASPD: you don't have it, because you are nervous about your mom disowning you. The "therapist" who diagnosed you with it obviously confused ASD and ASPD in you. I can understand the worry about your parent disowning you in case you aren't an adult/ not financially stable. But emotionally? Even worrying about breaking a "relationship" with a person I don't need? No

She's so cute and sweet. I hope she can get whst she needs in life.

I found this fascinating. She tells you not to trust her. She tells you she doesn’t care if she causes someone pain. She says sorry but never means it. It must be exhausting masking like that. I’m glad she has a friend who clearly accepts the situation for face value.

@bluelight8664

10 ай бұрын

can u indicate the moment she mentionned the thing about causing pain i did not hear that

@laurenfranks5037

10 ай бұрын

@@bluelight8664 she said that she hurt a lot of people by lying and manipulating them causing them pain but she acknowledges and understands she does it but it isn’t malicious. It’s just part of the disorder where she can’t feel emotions good or bad

@magical571

2 ай бұрын

@@laurenfranks5037 i've been at the recieving end. for 14 years, and it tore me appart, i got used and abused. If someone can genuinly stay there unharmed, more power to them. but no amount of understanding or empathy justifies staying there just taking it. i wish people wouldn't infantilize her, or fall for the sad backstory. I did, for years, because i myself suffered trauma and abuse and have always been as understanding as posible of mental health, and it really only added more trauma in my life for years to come. Now i fear being treated and abused by people like her because of my trusting nature and tendency to empathize with people with family issues. And it never was and still isn't easy for me or people like me to take the decission of stepping back, or setting a boundary, or saying goodbye, and it creates a breeding ground for people like her to abuse others. Do not misunderstand her cognitive capacity to understand what she did wrong and how it is prcieved as wrong, with her actually feeling bad or being able to treat others well with any degree of consistency much less if they get close like a real friend or a relative. I even got victimed blamed and mocked, just so i would take it all in no matter what. People, stop it.

@user-rn8vd7xw3d

7 күн бұрын

I​@@laurenfranks5037

@LisaTaylor-Austin

6 күн бұрын

Wonder if the friend understands the nuances of her ASPD

Joseph is the GOAT. Shout out to him for supporting her while she figures things out.

@laulago3771

2 ай бұрын

I think she's using him

@AILIT1

2 ай бұрын

​@@laulago3771I agree but unfortunately I think he's one of those people that's totally ok with it. It's hard to believe he doesn't realize it.

@zodsi

2 ай бұрын

@@AILIT1i think he is aware of that and she is aware of that because of her disorder, and he is being a good friend and good person overall to help her

@bunnigummi9065

Ай бұрын

@@laulago3771he knows she is

@missionheights1474

Ай бұрын

@@bunnigummi9065 Y'all do not know that man or their situation lol just wish the best for them

Shes so intelligent n knowledgeable abt her conditions. Shes just so smart. And shes so right that she wd have been better is she got early diagnosis n ssupport insted of abuse. She wd not have had the ASPD. That she still tries to care n understand others is so commendable. I so love her

as a future psychologist your videos are EXTREMELY educational there's no better way to understand people than hearing it and seeing it directly from them i also admire and learn from the way you communicate with them ! is beautiful to hear their stories, only they can explain what's like to have these disorders and to live with it i think people are INCREDIBLE!

I've been diagnosed twice with bipolar. They were wrong. I was reacting to situations. That has settled. Childhood trauma is the real source.

@elnombre5597

10 ай бұрын

I've had a similar experience, to this day i'm still not entirely sure wether i actually have Bipolar or not. My doctors and care team continuously go back and forth between me having bipolar and not, but recently when they realised that I have dissociative identity disorder, they've kinda come to a conclusion that those episodes were more likely to be trauma reactions like identity switches

@JamiePackmule1

10 ай бұрын

I’ve stopped identifying with the labels they gave me. I’m capable of so much more than my diagnoses, and once I realized that it was so freeing. I’m just me

@Darkempress45

10 ай бұрын

@@JamiePackmule1I love this!!!!!! I’m so glad that you were able to identify this and break free! Bravo!!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾

@jessejohnson9514

10 ай бұрын

Ah. Better luck next time.

@manfrummt

10 ай бұрын

@@jessejohnson9514 I know right? Maybe I'll score with some schizophrenia next time, ya?

I'm autistic and a psychology student, l relate a lot with everything you've said but the way the ASPD was diagnosed sounds to me (as a psychology student) wrong, being autistic and having so much trauma can definitely change the way you feel emotions. I would definitely try to get a second or even third opinion, specially from professionals that study autism in depth

@isaacl.r4609

10 ай бұрын

Definitely.

@Anne-pj7ny

10 ай бұрын

You want her to keep seeing doctors until they tell her she doesn’t have ASPD? Because you are a student who disagrees?

@itsme-dt1xb

10 ай бұрын

I‘m also a psychology major and I doubt the ASPD diagnosis too.

@Esquilo

10 ай бұрын

I'm a neuroscience student and I agree

@shellyeditsalot

10 ай бұрын

​@Anne-pj7ny have you never heard of 2nd or 3rd opinion? it's just to confirm with absolute assurity that the diagnosis was right.

The way she closes her eyes while she talks is so relatable. I hope all the best for her in future, and for days to come where she isnt angry to have woken up.

The way she describes not understanding human interaction and feeling emotions is exactly the way I feel!! I'm not sociopathic but I am autistic and I do still have trouble with feeling "natural" empathy, so it's very comforting to me to see someone I can relate to so much, even how she masks by laughing and smiling!

She seems like a good person because she is trying to be a good person even if she feels she doesn't feel it inside. She has a choice of good or bad but chooses good.

@em-dy3hn

7 ай бұрын

There are no "good" or "bad" people. Simply wanted and unwanted acts.

@possibly12

4 ай бұрын

I think reality is somewhere in the middle between your comment and @em-dy3hn 's. It's entirely unhelpful to subscribe good and bad here, but also simply wanting and unwanting feels a bit too simple. At least it does to me after hearing Cassy, who goes to great pains to communicate how different her inner workings are. She still has anger. As well as, yes, legitimate wants for herself.

just to let everyone know, because people make over-simplistic assumptions about autism and emotions, that autistic people can struggle with emotions and not have ASPD. Many have alexithymia, which is where it's difficult to feel and identify emotions in a 'normative' (whatever that is) way. For example, not feeling hungry, or getting confused between emotions and bodily sensations. ASPD is usually trauma related, as are the other PDs. And autistic people experience a lot of trauma.

@picture-you

10 ай бұрын

This is all true. Thank you.

@nugget6635

10 ай бұрын

It's important to keep in mind that biologically an ASPD can feel everything. ASPD is a personality that puts down emotions like... For example... "why are you happy?" then stop feeling joy. So ASPD is a disorder where the thoughts get in the way of feeling.

Wow, incredibly enlightening interview. As an aspiring psychiatrist, ASPD is one of the areas I struggle with learning about the most because I was very deeply wounded by a person with ASPD in the past and as a person with extreme empathy (to the point where it can be harmful to myself) I've always struggled to keep an open mind when it comes to the "carelessness" seen in antisocial personality disorder. This interview gave me insight I've searched for in countless research articles and pages and documents but nothing has given me the level of understanding that this woman sharing her story has. I'm incredibly impressed and incredibly proud of her.

The depth of abuse that happened to this woman is so heartbreaking. 😢

I love Chris' non reaction to her obvious masking reactions to make people comfortable. Chris, you are such a gem and unique soul.

@minerchick1258

10 ай бұрын

Seriously, he is a kind soul

@Forexroadrunner

9 ай бұрын

his approach so genuine and warm

@catlover4319

9 ай бұрын

do you mean like the laughing and the smiling

@boohbee7849

9 ай бұрын

@@catlover4319 yessums

@Kempster_K

9 ай бұрын

Yeah I was thinking it was cool that he asked "do you" about her saying she feels bad, but, at least to me anyway, it felt like he wanted to know to understand better as opposed to the accusatory way most people would ask if someone actually feels bad when they say they do. It comes across nonjudgmental.

This is why Im a firm believer that everyone doesnt need to have children, or be a parent. Especially if they havent worked through their childhood issues.

@Chair_0809

9 ай бұрын

Preeeeeaaaaach!!!!!!!

It hurts how so many issues people like her seem to go through come from the fact that neurotypical people give anyone different a hard time and refuse to adjust to them or even try to understand them, it’s so frustrating how unless you are a very specific type of person, you won’t be accepted or even get empathy from the people around you

I hope she feels safe now 🙏 The disconnect and lack of trust in her younger years led to this. Her nervous system is overloaded

As an autistic person I can relate a lot to feeling bad/etc on the surface but deep down not actually caring. Every time Chris asks “Do you?” I feel really bad (genuinely) for Cassy because I know what it’s like to be in that awkward spot where you’re supposed to care but you don’t. I’m not diagnosed with ASPD and my childhood wasn’t nearly as bad as how Cassy’s sounds like it was, so I can only imagine the level of hurt and trauma she must be dealing with. This is really brave to share and I feel a little bit seen. Thanks for sharing your story Cassy

@modernmusic52

10 ай бұрын

It sucks so much. The awkward nervous laughter when she's supposed to say sorry and say she cares and be genuine but can't. I'm stuck in that spot a lot too

@babenberg

10 ай бұрын

25:05, I thought "do you feel comfortable..." is probably not the stressless way to ask to a person who struggle to feel emotions. I suggest to ask for capabilities, or wishes, as in "can you explain...", "do you want to tell more about...", "what are your thoughts about...". I guess that adapting the questionnaire environment (key words, concepts, sociocultural map, approach... parameters) to the mental representational system of the interviewed may help to open up ways of self expression and communication. Me, ASD+ADHD.

@ifmusicbethefoodofloveplay2290

10 ай бұрын

I hear you. Chris is great, but he could've used a better approach here.

@lyssasletters3232

10 ай бұрын

It is perfectly okay not to care!!!!!! The pressure to care just leads to feelings of guilt and shame, which are unproductive because they don’t lead to greater caring! Instead, people in our lives should model how to care for US. When we receive care and acceptance and love, we have the opportunity to learn how to be caring towards ourselves and then how to care about others. I started to care more for others when my own emotional needs were met.

@zia_kat

10 ай бұрын

same. i'm autistic and i really relate to a lot of what cassy does and doesn't experience regarding caring. i don't have an aspd dx but have often wondered if i really love people or not or what my feeling towards them are. i'm not sure that cassy isn't just an autistic person who has been very hurt and traumatized reacting in a normal autistic way to that trauma. i also want to thank cassy for her bravery and honesty and i hope she is able to create/find a life that makes her happy.

What kind of therapist tells a client that online relationships aren’t “real” ?? That’s so cold

@smart_pretty

9 ай бұрын

Yes because online relationships isn't real

@elisthetic

9 ай бұрын

@@smart_pretty tell that to my online friends that got married earlier this year lol

@smart_pretty

9 ай бұрын

@@elisthetic Congratulations to them if they were not gay

@paulacruz6239

8 ай бұрын

@@smart_pretty I meet my husband and father of my 2 child online, we had a relationship online, 1,5 years before we meet face to face. The fact is that, online, one does not need to mask to pretend, one can be more true to it self. That does not mean that she is able to have a relationship outside of that, but that is a relationship non the less.

@smart_pretty

8 ай бұрын

@@paulacruz6239 Well, I am speaking in general. There may be some exceptions, but the Internet is not a safe place For dating

This young lady is a delight to listen to. She is wonderfully intelligent and a kind soul. I would be honored to be her friend. Many blessings to this tender soul.

I think most people don't understand what antisocial means. Antisocial does not only mean "avoiding association with others; unsociable". It also means "against the basic principles of society; harmful to the welfare of the people generally".

@mevolutionarybyliz

25 күн бұрын

Yes. People mix it up with asocial.

It's sad that she can't see how much of a caring person she is. Even if she can't "feel" those feelings (I understand 100%) She is a good person, and she does care. If she didn't, you wouldn't be able to detect the pain in her voice when she opens up about different abandonments, and she also didn't want to hurt her friends feelings. Being a human is hard

@Lucailey

10 ай бұрын

This is a prime example of "masking" she is trying to hard to say and do the right thing and not hurt people's feelings

@ryanyoung5259

10 ай бұрын

@@Lucailey but why is she doing that?

@Ab.eNormal

10 ай бұрын

​@@ryanyoung5259Alot of people on the Autism spectrum, mask to not stand out or to seem neurotypical, for neurotypicals sake.

@Aster_Risk

10 ай бұрын

​@@ryanyoung5259Self-preservation. Being socially ostracized is hard on most people, because we do live in societies where dealing with others is necessary to function on every level. We all know that if we don't try to fit in we will be treated differently which can negatively affect your life.

@user-xf5uc4zy2j

10 ай бұрын

The thing is, nobody cares that you don’t or can’t actually feel that you care about them as long as you act like it. People attach so much sentimentality to feelings and intention when it’s really the action and consequences that affect anything at all.

I want you to know that if you are manually practicing empathy, you have empathy. I guarantee you that many many people who seem empathetic naturally actually really don't care. Manual and intentional empathy is good enough. You seem to have really done a pretty good analysis about who you are, and lots of people never do that. I hope you find a therapist who has the experience to help you, and that you don't think it's your fault when a therapist isn't up to the job.

@xtinaaaaah

9 ай бұрын

I completely agree with and adore your comment and I hope she reads it.

@CatManDoom84

9 ай бұрын

This! Yes! Most ppl can be empathetic because its a cultural norm. But to actively and CONSCIOUSLY practice it is rare.Not that im sayin ppl cant be naturally empathetic, they totally can be.

@Anonymous-54545

9 ай бұрын

No, I don't have empathy. Empathy is feeling how other people feel. Instead of trying to persuade us we really are like you, why not just say it's okay to be how we are?

@Anonymous-54545

9 ай бұрын

I think the correct claim here is that you can manually practice MORALITY and that you don't need empathy to be moral.

@peacehappyb237

9 ай бұрын

Yes, that is cognitive empathy. She has to understand that will be the best can do and it is fine.

She was so on point about the therapist who diagnosed her. That was highly unprofessional of her to react the way she did. I wish her all the best.🙏🏽💝

It's like her brain produces so little serotonin and melatonin she experiences only the dull side of being human. I felt so sad for her though the interview. Big hugs to her.

Thank you opening up and sharing it with us and for the interview that helps get insight into another person’s mind. When it comes to laughter, although it sounds like a genuine laughter, I think it is a sort of post trauma coping mechanism that serves as decompression when in uncomfortable, potentially stressful and unpleasant situations similar to yawning.

She has more of a heart than most neurotypical people I’ve met! I’m a black ND chick, also, so I understand it’s rough not fitting the stereotypical “black woman” role. Masking is also so exhausting! Sending much love to my fellow ND sista!❤

@miniamo_

10 ай бұрын

@@lawm1549As a black person in her exact situation, it’s more complicated than that. Not all black people are the same, no, but neurodivergency is heavily looked down on by the majority of our community and we HAVE to mask to be let in. There are people who will be okay with you taking down the mask slowly, but people make so many preconceptions about nd that they decide whether they want to even speak to you or not based on the signs. And that’s for everyone, not just our community, I’m just saying why it’s harder to be let in.

@plushwishes

10 ай бұрын

Same here she seems so lovely. She needs so much more support and love Than she received

@MusikkFreak27

10 ай бұрын

fr! Some of the meanest comments tend to come from fellow Black people. Many think I'm rude or dismissive, but I'm actually just riddled with anxiety and expecting the worst.

@leafyishereisdumbnameakath4259

10 ай бұрын

​@@MusikkFreak27you are awesome

@qv8402

10 ай бұрын

Thank you for this, love to you sis

Reminds me of the point at which I realized I had been lying to my therapist for about a year. The truth was I didn’t have a damned clue how I felt about anything. My entire life was based upon expectation.

@nandeboleine

9 ай бұрын

Same! Everything I’ve ever done has been to try and be who someone else wanted me to be. I feel that I have no identity or personality when all that is stripped away.

She’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen. such a kind and unique soul and heart. ❤️

I can’t get past her hair! I adopted girls from Africa and can tell you she has worked hard on those curls for a long time! Beautiful and so impressive!!

I’m autistic and been through trauma. I never thought I had positive emotions to feel but I’ve started feeling them again. I hope you can one day too 💜

@lovisah99

3 ай бұрын

Something that helped me a lot was that when I really did get positive emotions, I immediately wrote them down. It's easy to forget that things won't always feel the same.

This makes me wonder how much our emotions form based solely on experience rather than simply on chemical imbalances in the brain. We learn compassion and empathy by watching others as children, or by being told/shown genuine examples of it. If she never felt compassion from others as a child, or if she never had someone speak directly to her pain, then she has no real example. And repeated pain and abuse stays with someone. And she’s very intelligent, but experience is what speaks to the heart, and that void was created by other people who could not speak to her heart. You’re doing your best girlfriend, we see you, and thank you for sharing your story. Healing may be difficult, but I hope you find it. ❤️

@michelleyoga87

10 ай бұрын

i often feel like after an emotion passes I question "did i really feel like i just acted or did i just do all that bc thats how i am used to happen when this thing happens? could i fight that behavior and do something different bc i dont even know if thats how i really felt when i did that" so i totally understand what you are saying. i feel like my parents often do not understand that even though they made sure i was fed and well cared for....the emotional behaviors I learned TORMENT ME and i feel like i dont know how to fix it...

@emilyjade_4

10 ай бұрын

Many recent studies have actually shown there is little evidence to support the idea of 'chemical imbalances' in the brain - there was a big one in 2022 disputing the depression/serotonin link. It's never been that simple. I'd recommend giving it a little search if you are interested.

@JohnSmith-mc2zz

10 ай бұрын

The chemical imbalance thing was pushed to sell prozac. There is a bit of truth to it.

@zatoichiMiyamoto

10 ай бұрын

​@@michelleyoga87learn how your machine works and fix it.

@minerchick1258

10 ай бұрын

Its not a chemical imbalance its more of a neuropathway development- her brain experienced trauma and significantly cut off pathways in order to keep her self

id argue that she cares MORE than people without antisocial personality disorders, considering that she doesn't naturally feel empathy and yet is actively practicing empathy and care towards her friend who cares about her.

@Sincontextojaja

4 ай бұрын

Wow ur right and Thats actually crazy! :0

@happydaysrcoming8792

3 ай бұрын

She does but she isn’t aware of it like really aware of it and that is why he stays with her because he knows that she cares for others. Empathy is something learned and has to be practiced she didn’t probably have parents who showed any empathy toward her in childhood, I have the same family she does..,

Thankyou for being so brave in doing this. It's because of people like you Cassy who decide to speak out and teach people that we're able to better understand and empathize with your situation. I saw your interview with Soft white underbelly as well and I have the upmost respect for how you're pushing forward in life despite how hard the world has pushed back against you. You experience feelings differently, but that makes you no less human and you don't deserve to be seen as less than because of something you can't change about yourself.

As a therapist, her behavior was highly inappropriate and you did nothing wrong. Thank you for sharing your story. I learned a lot from you!

@boingthecoin601

10 ай бұрын

@@TELKXthey’re talking about how her therapist treated her

@Karin-fj3eu

9 ай бұрын

​@@TELKXI haven't gotten to that part yet and was so confused

@0redfr0g0

9 ай бұрын

As a therapist, you should know to take someone's one-sided interpretation of events with a grain of salt and not say, "You did nothing wrong." When you don't have a clear understanding of the situation.

First off, I loved seeing Cassy openly stimming, closing her eyes against the lights, etc. Thank you. We need to see that, so we can do what feels good for our bodies, too.

@isthataspider7410

10 ай бұрын

Ikr!!! (Also adhd-er) I am absolutely ENRAGED at that awful therapist. Using the obvious symptoms of autism and ptsd against her patient because she was offended by something that isn't her problem? She should get fired from her job!

@daydream2609

10 ай бұрын

As someone who works in mental healthcare, many therapists don’t work with people with autism. They would likely have to see an occupational therapist or some other kind of autism specialist.

@nugget6635

10 ай бұрын

She does have the ASPD traits though such as being confused about people and having numb feelings and also transactional logic (which is not altruistic).

@prinniesforeveryone321

10 ай бұрын

Get a job

@emilylambley2480

10 ай бұрын

@@prinniesforeveryone321what?

She so honest and self aware ☺️

I can totally see myself in this young lady. Life is very frustrating because I have several different diagnoses as well.

For those of you wondering why it's called antisocial PD if they're not antisocial, it's because they don't tend to display PROsocial behavior unless there's something to gain. Prosocial behaviors are things like sharing, helping, donating, or co-operating. Generally, things that benefit other people or society as a whole.

@tonyhoffman3309

3 ай бұрын

Which can be a prominent comorbid behavioral symptom for people with autisim.

Her lack of emotions are probably a protection mechanism from all the years of abuse!! Many people with ptsd manifest behaviorial and personality disorders because they can't figure out how to deal with their feelings.... 😊 she is a nice girl.

@TomikaKelly

10 ай бұрын

Nah, she simply has ASPD. SHe has a shallow emotional palette, if any at all. This is more about the way her brain is wired.

@alexcecilia

10 ай бұрын

Yes actually this is 100% correct! Sociopathy is created, not born. Which means that all the years of trauma and abuse she endured completely altered her personality as a defensive mechanism - “creating” the ASPD/ sociopathy.

@shyn3872

10 ай бұрын

I’m diagnosed with ptsd and I can’t cope with the way I feel as well.

@daphnea5447

10 ай бұрын

@@alexceciliayou can’t know that for sure about her and no, sociopathy is not always “created”

@poopmaster1911

10 ай бұрын

​@@TomikaKellydamn, thank god you conducted a full evaluation yourself so the rest of us don't have to!

Being autistic is like part of your soul is disconnected. The trauma and neuro devlopment is spot on with just how different an autistic person can be from person to person

@vishnu2407

3 ай бұрын

Very well put

I loved that she said how exhausting it is to feel empathy and try to do what everyone wants us to do. I stopped trying at middle school, she's so cool and also feels a lot of guilt for not feeling anything, but she actually doesn't feel anything, but she does think about it. Really cool, I hope she can have a nice life

I dated a man with anti social personality disorder for a year and he didnt care if i didnt love him (i.e. i asked a LOT of questions the first time he told me he didnt experience emotions as broadly as others), as long as i did things FOR him. He kept it somewhat balanced by also being there for me, and turns out he was the only partner who actually gave me presents that I would like; maybe he was so used to reading people that he found the material ways to nurture me faster. Its kind of like what the person speaking describes: ill care as long as you care for me. Nothing wrong with that, just not for everyone. To the speaker, hope you find partners to accept you and let you grow because we all deserve links and relationships ❤

@jacobus57

10 ай бұрын

Sociopaths read people very well, as he did. He gave you the gifts he knew you would like to manipulate you.

@caitlinw8351

10 ай бұрын

@@jacobus57? or he was just doing something he knew would make her happy

@virusDETECTED

10 ай бұрын

@@jacobus57not every sociopath has malicious intent

@egalo-medina6859

10 ай бұрын

@@jacobus57 not all sociopaths are sadistic or constantly plotting. trying to keep your partner happy despite lacking empathy can be for a million reasons. they can still understand reciprocity (i like spending time with you and will reward you for that) despite not empathically identifying with others.

@ChasingBooks

10 ай бұрын

@@jacobus57 I didn't see enough evidence to suggest that the gift-giving was any more manipulative than any other person doing the same practice. Appeasement or reciprocity (neither of which are altruistic, but not inherently as malicious as outright manipulation) could have also been the reason for this behavior. We shouldn't downplay their struggles and limitations (and we must also set boundaries that keep us safe if we ever feel unsafe or uncomfortable with any person, ASPD or not), but we also need to be careful about pathologizing every single behavior when the message in this interview was a reminder that: while those with ASPD are not exactly like everyone else, they are still people. We also need to hold space for the fact that many (though not all) people with ASPD are also survivors of abuse, and survivors of all backgrounds are often blamed and viewed with suspicion just for having maladaptive schema (which did not develop in a vacuum or by choice necessarily). It also helps abusers without ASPD or NPD hide in plain sight (and considering how rare these disorders are, it's likely that most abusers do not have ASPD).

She started the interview saying she feels like & would describe herself as a different kind of person, & finished it by saying we are just like everyone else. That's quite a fundamental shift. It was like saying her thoughts out loud helped her reached a more positive state. She has more good traits than she realises.. I hope you can find moments of peace, Cassy.

@fancydeer

9 ай бұрын

Having someone who just accepted her and listened to her made a huge difference.

@clevernamerighthere9240

9 ай бұрын

I think it can be both, they are different type of people then most and when interacting with them it should be considered, but as for the level of respect you should give someone, or the existence of their emotions, those things are still very much there and like everybody else. They just may have different triggers or ways of conveying those feelings as well as a difference in level of intensity for some of those feelings the point where the fluid nature of feelings makes it difficult to distinguish what there actually feeling. That’s my inference anyway.

@Royalteelive

8 ай бұрын

❤

@em-dy3hn

7 ай бұрын

Lying is a big part of having ASPD.

@DenkyManner

7 ай бұрын

They aren't mutually exclusive. She doesn't feel like a normal human and her point at the end is society should be more accepting of people like that because 1 in 30 people are like that. I didn't detect any shift

Some of the interviewers questions made me uncomfortable....like she said I feel so bad and he responded saying "Do you?" She's trying her best to express herself and he's making her second guess herself!

This is such an incredible interview. Thank you for sharing your life! I hope you find the safety that is needed to process your anger and live freely without judgement