I appreciate this. It has also made me realize, EVERYONE should do this, including neurotypicals. None of us as humans were designed for all the rigid, boring, demanding responsibilities of present day society. We turn 18-21 and on paper, we are suddenly deemed as adults and expected to instantly abandon all joy. But in reality, no one is an adult. We are all just children who had responsibilities shoved on us when we turned a certain age. Those demands can be overwhelming to ANYONE'S nervous system....just much MORE so for us neurodivergents. I wish everyone would take more play breaks

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

Yes, you’re so right that everyone needs more play breaks and time to feel joy! Also agree that “adulthood” often has more responsibilities but it doesn’t necessarily have to be that way. Are you finding a way to play more? I’d enjoy hearing what other people in our community are trying that brings them joy. 🤩 And also yes, if you don’t take the time for it now, then when? This is what I’m trying to practice more myself too

@JerrTheHooman

Ай бұрын

@ChrisandDebby yes! 🤩 I like to make time to play pokemon and create stories and comics, etc. And sometimes just playing in the dirt 🤣

@rjparker2414

Ай бұрын

@@JerrTheHooman Playing in the dirt? I've always loved mud, from age 3 to 70, wonderful texture, but now it's clay, as in creating ceramics. Also love puzzle/ unique/ casual video games to unwind eves. Interior design. Walking in the forest, enjoying watching creatures, hanging out with non-humans. Though a remote control car, or drone, might be very fun. Thanks, Chris!

My healer advised me the best possible thing when my depression was at its worst and no other therapist could help - it was to gravitate towards and do the things that were fun! And do the things each day that my intuition told me would make me feel excited! No matter how little - turn left instead of right, cut toast into triangles not squares, etc etc. It led to profound improvements in my mental health. You've just reminded me that I've been neglecting all of this!! I'm going to go focus on fun again!

This!!!! Flying kites on top of a hill was the turning point in recovery after 7 months of horrendous burnout. Then I lay on my back on that hill in the sunshine and told myself "You are a worthwhile person, you're worthy of happiness." It flipped a switch that day.

Retired almost 3 years early, because of burn out. I'm glad I was able to do that. It's taken nearly that long to finally relax. I've been playing world of warcraft and am happy.

Thank you for sharing your autistic joy. I’ve been struggling with burnout, too.

I have been burnt out for years on and off without knowing why. I have come to terms that I might have autism since what you deal with I do as well. I get so sick when I am really stressed and over a year ago I started being mindful of that and forcing myself to listen to my body when I want to rest. Some times it takes one day other times it takes weeks and at worst months to recover. I started off with figuring out I was introverted and hated small talk, and human interaction exhausted me, which then led to figuring out I was a highly sensitive individual, and now I am thinking I might have autism. But it all makes sense. My mental fog, my learning disability, my audio distortion, me being easily agitated, not being able to focus, hating meetings that go for more than 30 minutes, being hyper fixated on my current interest, etc etc. It all makes sense. I am so glad I found your channel two days ago. I have been watching all your videos and you have helped me see clearly. Now I just have to go get tested for it.

I don’t even know what I want to do. I’m so burned out with my teaching job I can’t think straight about anything. I used to enjoy reading, but my attention span has shrunk so that I put a book down after just a few pages. Great video!!! Amazingly done.

I’ve been turning the tide slowly but surely through my transition from dead-end “career” to overwhelming full-time studies by making time to play video games (especially with my son), and indulging my not so-inner child’s desire for nearly exclusively Pokémon-themed notebooks and stationery and similar tactics to force some joy into my routines. As I close out my junior year, my decision to focus my efforts on working with The Pokémon Company Group in some capacity after graduation will (hopefully) help me defeat the final boss combo of burnout and senioritis. I refuse to resist the urge to indulge in the things that bring me joy at nearly 36; life is miserable enough without trying to cosplay as a Boring Adult too.

@user-uv1ov1me4b

Ай бұрын

Cosplay as a boring adult, lol. I felt that.

@turtleanton6539

Ай бұрын

Yes indeed😊

@michaelfreydberg4619

23 күн бұрын

Yes. One of the things I like to do to unwind is I make silly cartoon videos of things I read on the news. And send them to people.

That was magnificent - all the heart and light you put into that cinematic KZread video - I felt it - amazing - truly !!!

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

Thanks a bunch! This one took me a few weeks to fully piece together, but I enjoyed making it. I’m going to try to do this style at least once a month

@AndreaCrisp

27 күн бұрын

​@@ChrisandDebbyit really was fantastic. Thank you for sharing your journey and your talent.

"make time" right on the money. I keep telling my friends they can take a day off work, or use the weekends for something other than rest. I personally make the most of my weekend time to drive around my state. I explore the coastline, the hills, the endless farms, because that's better to me than lazing around for two days only to clock back into my day job. I can't always be go-go-go though, but when I do get out it is as invigorating as a cup of tea.

Thank you so much for coming out to play!!!

When I was experiencing severe, flat-as-a-pancake burn-out in the mid-'90s, I did get this message in meditation: "Let joy be your guiding light." It would have helped me more if I could have also watched this video immediately afterwards, but I did revisit childhood wishes and pursued my curiosity about who this P.G. Wodehouse writer is whom a friend mentioned to me once. But I didn't realize I had stopped doing fun things. I am a recently self-diagnosed AuDHD and I think I will finally buy my first drill and make some stuff! Absolutely brilliant video.Thank you.

This was epic! 🏎️ When I was a kid I always wanted to build a clubhouse. Like legitimate clubhouse with plywood and whatnot. I have grown up money now and I still get the same feelings I did when I was a kid thinking about it! Little bit more time and labor intensive than buying a remote control car but damn it maybe I should build myself a clubhouse! Invite others to come in so we can have secret meetings with secret passwords! On a side note I think another reason kids may not experience autistic burnout is because they don't have the same mismatch of expectations to capabilities that we experience as adults.

@rjparker2414

Ай бұрын

Clubhouse, or tree house, sounds great! Mismatched (neurotypical) expectations/ capabilities, maybe... we can do so much when we accept our own super powers (which autism gives us), and work with that.

@NeurodiverJENNt

Ай бұрын

@@rjparker2414 I was speaking specifically to burn out :-) one of the causes is described as mitsmatch of expectations to capabilities. I'll see if I can find the educational literature regarding this component of it.

@rjparker2414

Ай бұрын

@@NeurodiverJENNt So you're thinking more internalized expectations, like setting them too high (which we tend to do), then not meeting our idealized expectations because our capability doesn't match? OK, I see that. Think both this misjudgment, and internalized neurotypical expectations, could contribute to burn out. Am curious re literature you're thinking of, when you find it. Thanks.

Playing is a good idea. I will have to try that.

I cried and laughed watching you play with your car. Thank you for sharing this. I've been struggling with autistic burn out for a while now. I'm a (very) late diagnosed autistic woman, and I struggle with coming to terms with my life and who and how I am . Your videos help me a lot. I think you're right when you say that laughter and joy are some of the things that might be what makes the difference between "just" being overwhelmed/disregulated or suffering from autistic burn out. Food for thought for me. But now... I'm going to give myself a toy that brings me joy too! Maybe one of those cars. Always wanted one. But a) my parents didn't have the money for expensive toys, and b) I was supposed to play with Barbie ( I really didn't like dolls or playing with hem 😅). Thx again!

Great video! I am 64 and my office is full of toys! Really helps me with burnout!

I feel this way but with regular sports cars. I have never felt as alive as when I’m tearing up a great twisty backroad. Play really is important.

@rjparker2414

Ай бұрын

I used to race with the local sports car club, at the drag strip - they used a varied course which challenged one's driving skills. Very fun, and only one car on the track at a time - so beating course times, personal best, intense focus, were great release.

Time...give it a couple months, mine took 6 months, started during the summer vacation, started to get better around January. Everything that I was already sensitive to became 10X more overwhelming. Sounds/ people, /smells etc. I couldn't be outside for more than 2-3 hours before starting feeling nauseous and dizzy&needing a nap, headaches at the end of the day for hours, mentally couldn't do much, gaming was doable. Hang in there🙌🙌🙌 It just takes time. And this period is temporary. After the burnout though, you still have to be mindful and start to do things differently, and still take it easy. Since going back to your Old self is not an option anymore, especially if the lifestyle of the old self caused you to go into burnout mode. In the meantime look at what made you go into burnout mode, and see how you can manage it differently the next time. And yess, absolutely agreed. During the burnout phase, I basically full on focused on my special interests. And developed new interests and hobbies(one's i could do inside though or from home). During the burnout, around the 4th month, i was basically just living in my pj's, being home all day, and every day being the same. It wasn't that I didn't want to, I desperately wanted to be outside and have fun, but my body and brain just got tired so quickly after any type of activity. I was amazed at how I was able to slowly be outside for more than 3 hours without feeling absolutely overstimulated by everything and needing to go back home asap.

@DuDe-qw3zo

6 күн бұрын

Thank you for sharing. May I ask you how long it took after diagnosis until you burned out? Was it somehow caused by finding out about your autism? Did you lose your job? Weren't you able to work for the entire 6 months? I self-diagnosed about a year ago and I've got the impression that redefining myself after that destabilized my working and social skills and it is getting worse. Do you believe there is a way to avoid a complete burn out and change your life gradually?

Mi son is 21 autistic just like me, but he still plays with his Legos ❤ I'll should do that. Thanks for sharing

Your house is cool af! 👌

I felt such joy just watching you be happy and finding joy and hope...light... light-heartedness. It gave me hope for myself too and others like us that are so intrenched in the burnout cycle. I really enjoyed the whole feel, the music, the pace, the soft and gentle storytelling style and the lovely sound of your voice. Thankyou.

@ChrisandDebby

12 күн бұрын

I’m really glad you liked it! This video took me a long time to create. Making something cinematic but also honest is hard. I really enjoyed it and am going to make more videos like this. Your comment brought me a lot of joy 😊😊

I love this. It's so soothing, and therapeutic, and full of joy. I've been in autistic burnout for over four years and I'm over it, too. A culmination of factors, most prevalently being undiagnosed until 37 and unknowingly masking my whole life, led me to completely vacate my life- job, friends, things I enjoyed doing, etc. I do notice a little improvement each year. My 80s childhood stuff absolutely helps! Unfortunately, I am often put down and called childish because of it. It makes me happy anyway, and I feel sorry for those that don't understand that joy.

@ChrisandDebby

8 күн бұрын

I’m really glad you liked the video! I’m planning to make some more like this in the future - it just takes a long time to script it, plan it out, film it, and edit it properly but I’m glad it was worth it and helpful for you. I know what you mean about toys you remember as a child and how important those are. Forget the people who tell you they are childish and make fun of you. Children experience so much joy and laughter so I’m starting to embrace it when people say I’m acting younger than my age 😊 I’m glad to hear the burnout is improving. I know from experience that it’s a long road but little by little, I hope you get there. I’m curious what type of 80s stuff is fun for you? I’m also a child of the 80s 😁

@KellyRVaden

8 күн бұрын

@@ChrisandDebby Yes, children are so innocent and happy, and society/family teaches them it's wrong as they get older. I am absolutely just a big kid and embrace my inner child. I have a collection of 80s technology (Atari games, a Betamax, records, cassettes, etc.), board games, toys and TV shows. It's so comforting just to watch a familiar episode, or even look at an item from when I was a kid. I call myself a sentimental hoarder.

Such a beautiful film, it went straight in. Thank you for charing.

My youngest has experience burnout since they started primary school. Burnout has gotten worse as time passes. I don't think that, I as a female would be able to get out of burnout it that manner. Maybe having the time for a true bath. A luxurious Bath time❣️❣️❣️ with bubbles, candles, and maybe petals❣️❣️ Or a great movie, a romantic comedy ❣️❣️

This is great advice, will definitely get back into my fun and silly side. Now how to deal with my chronic autoimmune pain... 😫

I'm in caregiver AND autistic burnout. Thank you for this. As a kid, I wanted and FINALLY got a remote control jeep. I played with it so much that I wore it out! And I am female. Great memories. I did want a RC helicopter, but I would probably crash it. 😂 But yes, fun is SOOOO important ❤

This is a great video!

Love this ❤🎉

Fantastic it is good to see you smile. And fabulous idea

beautifully done art life video.

This made me so emotional and I don't even know why!

AWESOME.

fabulous, Chris. I loved it, and you. ( still dont know how to access your no-music versions) Thanks for all your creative efforts.

I have been in autistic burnout for three years. Still far from recovered. But I do see small improvements. Maybe another year. I do as much fun stuff as I can handle. It doesn't help as much as I hoped.

Me too totally

Did you just tell me in a roundabout way that laughter is the best medicine? 😂 Love it. At least you're not like the doctors, trying to shove useless pills down my throat. Joy & exhilaration are much easier to swallow.

When I was a single mom w fairly small kids, someone told me I needed to try having more fun. I packed up the kids and their bikes into my car and went to the elementary school and we actually had fun together. It was great! But almost 10 years ago i had a soulcrushing estrangement from my eldest and it took me many years to even want to smile. about 3 months ago I volunteered to man an electric car booth at the local auto show . . . there was an RC car - the idea being that RC cars used to use gas, but switched to battery because its better in every way - just like real cars. I drove it around the booth a bit here and there, but overall, the noise of teh convention just wore me out. I sometimes feel guilty, the most happy I get about right now is things . . . i finally replaced my 22-yo washer dryer, and bought a new shelf to replace the broken one in the laundry room, and rearranged - and its so much nicer! I bought really pretty covers for my old, stained sofa which we bought at a thrift store 25 years ago. And then i bought a new EV to replace my 17 yo car and THEN we started a bathroom reno because the water damage had made a hole in the floor. I'm super grateful that I'm working again and can afford all this, and not being surrounded by ugly, half-broken things actually makes me feel better. play? idk i play wow w my husband. its ok. I miss doing puzzles but the last time I made one, that now-estranged offspring worked on it with me for a while and then put it away while i was asleep so i never saw it finished. that sort of took the fun out of it.

❤❤❤ thank you

AAHHH that's the toy I also always wanted and never got. Gonna get one now!

I, too have an espresso machine just for the process. I don’t like coffee too much, but the art of the process is irresistible to me. I also was very drawn to remote controlled vehicles as a kid and young adult, but I indulge that through KZread videos about it, mostly. I suppose my real-life play is camping in the back yard. 😊

@turtleanton6539

Ай бұрын

You could try a drone if it feels more adult

Yes! Yes! Yes!🎉❤

My mom uses her Lite Brite every. Single. Day!!! And I've always wanted those customizable wooden railroad pieces. Hmmmmm. 🤔🤔

I recently bought myself two lightsabers and I'm duelling my 15 year old son with it now! Finally I have become a Jedi!😃

I am autistic to

I’m going to try that. I have bad autistic burnout. Thank you.

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

Sorry to hear you’re in burnout. I know it’s tough. Find time to rest and pray. And remember it’s only temporary!!

Oh man I also wanted a remote controlled car as a kid but all my parents could afford was one with a cable and that bummed me out. It's a really great idea, maybe I try that. What I do is to pack my dog into the car and drive 40 Minutes to a forest and just walk in the quiet and enjoy watching him being a dog. Since I'm self employed I can structure my day so I can go at times I know almost nobody else will be there. I can recommend that to anyone who can afford to do that. Being in a forest is so unbelievably whole body relaxing.

Just a comment here and I apologize but I have not watched and analyzed all of your vids so this may have come up. Chris, you talk about all your struggles, particularly prior to diagnosis. Somehow during that difficult pre diagnosis period you found a way to start an international company and start up a strong spousal relationship. I'd love to hear how you managed these things during this difficult period. It seems to me that would be a story alot of people would love to hear. I would sure love to know how all this success came together. thx

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

Hey, thanks for watching! I did a video about the struggles and signs that led to my diagnosis here that talks about some of these points: I'm Actually Autistic: My Adult Autism Diagnosis Journey & How It Has Impacted My Life kzread.info/dash/bejne/rJmmzquEgKjNhLg.html You’re right that I have found success, but as I talk about in the diagnosis video, before that came a lot of challenges and failures. Previous jobs, past relationships, even finishing college was challenging. I never could understand why it seemed so much harder for me than other people, so I internalized a lot of it. But without even knowing I was autistic, I started to figure out ways to play to my strengths. I see things differently than others, like needs for a culture that could be filled with a new product or company. I can understand a lot of areas where I can help improve things, with the right team and support. I’ve been lucky to have a partner not only for life but also for business who supports this, but just like any relationship, it takes effort from both of us. A positive of diagnosis is that we now have access to more information and can keep learning about all that’s happening in my brain. It’s helpful to understand better so we can make adjustments that support both of our needs. This is also what we are sharing here - info on the lived experiences of an autistic ADHDer that also will hopefully be relatable for others to better understand autism. Thanks for being here! Keep the feedback coming - it helps us know what other videos might be helpful.

That doorbell at 2:56 triggered me lol

I have a remote control car in my shopping cart, this is a sign for me to buy it already lol

@ChrisandDebby

26 күн бұрын

Yes, it’s a sign!!! Be sure to report back on how it goes 🏎️

Hmmm, I wouldn’t necessarily say kids don’t have autistic burnout. As a kid I still did. I’d often feel tired and just fight through it. But these days I do have some hacks to minimize the effects.

What about exercise and the endorphin release? I find it works for me. I feel amazing after a run and it shuts out all that excessive noise and distractions.

Kids don’t have to pay bills for themselves.. that’s the difference.. they have parents for shelter, food, cooking for them, doing the laundry, going to get the groceries, buying the groceries, and on & on.. When you can barely get by and survived .. it’s not so easy & no one to rely on..

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

I thought a lot about this perspective, but I’m not convinced. I know autistic adults who live at home with their parents and still experience burnout. I also know autistic adults living alone that have yet to experience burnout.

@SunshineGrove04

Ай бұрын

@@ChrisandDebby everyone is different that is for sure.. unfortunately, I have only myself to rely on and am in burn out.. and can barely keep up.. it’s a very scary place to be when you also deal with multiple chronic illnesses as well (physically limiting ones).

OMG. I had to wait three christmas times till I got a RC car. My parents thought, that it was not a real wish for a girl. I am 46 and still have it in my shelf. But it can't drive outdoors. It's a Porsche 911.

Always wanted a pony... maybe a miniature horse...?

@xoshelbz

Ай бұрын

I was thinking that, but a cow… lmao 🙈

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

I’m planning on getting a miniature highland cow. Go get your pony!!

@AnneShirleyMarshall

Ай бұрын

Cows are fun if you can milk them...! 🙂 🐄🙋

I have seen more adults than kids play with remote control gadgets. Kids tend to crash them in 5 seconds. Did you have burnout before you had a busy career?

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

No, I don’t think I ever experienced burnout before Covid. I enjoy my career a lot, but I’m sure the stress of it contributed to the burnout.

@BipolarCourage

Ай бұрын

@@ChrisandDebby career burnout is a big thing these days, especially with stressful careers.

An RC car? Why not?!

I use Lego therapeutically.

Yea I get it , it hel9d to wake up and say it's going to be a great day!!❤ read the truth about yourself in the Holy Bible sent fr9m your Creator! Thanks for sharing 👍 😊 ❤God bless yall!!!

Kids don't have adult stressors either.

You need a couch in your office

When car breaks or loses its pizazz then what?

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

Replace the part that breaks!! Ride it on different terrain and different areas. I love getting creative with it.

@sbsman4998

Ай бұрын

Sounds like fun, I am thinking of buying a new toy, a fancy Drone ~

Wow. This is an idea. 😊🛼🪁🛝🛷🤹‍♀️🏎🙏🏼❣️Still smiling (with you). :) What a great video too! 🎥🎬👏

This is awesome, thought it was just me, and how I deal with ASD in my own way. I have enjoyed RC everything since I was a kid, I drive RC trucks and fly RC planes with my own kids now. I think being able to get outside and control SOMETHING when everything is overwhelming and out of control helps come back from burnout, or even just to deal with constant frustrations. Controlling a model with a transmitter is the ultimate stim, and building, modeling and painting is a great outlet for creativity.

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

Yes!!! This is exactly how I feel. I haven’t worked my way up to a plane yet, but I’m strongly considering getting a helicopter. A plane would be amazing if I had more space.

I resell on ebay and I have both a vintage remote control boat and truck that I haven't listed yet... I'm going to try this! I've been in burnout for a month now Except my partner isn't always so accommodating to my needs, but we're working on it. I can't think of any other ways to feel like a kid again; the only time I remember freely playing, I was so young. Super soakers, maybe? Not in Wisconsin, today ha.

@ChrisandDebby

Ай бұрын

Yes!! Would really enjoy hearing how this goes for you too. And you’re not alone in struggling to think how to “play” as an adult - I’m trying to be less restrictive with myself to see what feels right. Super Soakers would definitely fit once the weather cooperates! Also hope the burnout is getting better - it’s really hard to explain to someone else who hasn’t experienced it and also so hard to just get through every day. Hang in there! Also, that’s awesome you’re from Wisconsin - Debby is from there too and we both went to college there. Spring weather means maybe today no super soakers because you might have snow…but next week it might be summer already 😂

Of course, another helpful video from this channel 😩 I got diagnosed almost two years ago and I'm so thankful I came across your videos!