The need to be alone … constantly being accused of ghosting.

@JesusistheOnlyWay222

29 күн бұрын

So ghosting crosses disorders? Because certain avoidant attachment styles also ghost

@luvqraft6024

28 күн бұрын

@@JesusistheOnlyWay222 guess so

@lifevitality

26 күн бұрын

I feel like everything you are saying describes my life!!

@madazaboxofrogzz8884

20 күн бұрын

This is me ... Since my kids grew up & left school I have isolated myself more & more... I'm tierd of people telling me what I need & how I should Interact... I know myself ❤

@ItCantRainForever2

20 күн бұрын

Yes I ghost people alot not even knowing I do it.

I get hooked on the same band and listen to their songs over and over. For years

@JesusistheOnlyWay222

29 күн бұрын

I recently saw.this is the same for adhd. Crossover signs? My son shakes his head and cringes that I can play a song on repeat. I guess the repeat/loop feature was created for all of us!?

@katrinawilliams437

29 күн бұрын

I do the same

@cheryldailing1294

29 күн бұрын

SAME

@brightspacebabe

28 күн бұрын

I do the same, and also with reaction videos to songs on YT. I just discovered Tom Macdonald and guess who I listen to every day 😂Also do this with movies

@SBecktacular

25 күн бұрын

Opposite for me- I have to have new, but when I find a new good song I listen over and over, for like a week- can hear it in my head on a loop until it’s worn out, then I have to find something new.

I get misperceived a lot. When I was a kid I got blamed or punished, and wouldn't know what I had done wrong.

@Portia620

29 күн бұрын

I’m still dealing with that with people that don’t get me!!!

@Nutmeg142

28 күн бұрын

I get that a lot too as a kid and adult

@EmpiricalPeace

27 күн бұрын

When I was a kid, I'd make comments that would piss people off, especially adults, and I'd have no idea why.

@camellia8625

27 күн бұрын

I get you, negative intentions or negative character characteristics may be incorrectly assumed.

@juliebrown7268

25 күн бұрын

Me too. Was it the same experience for your siblings. Curious.

I get misperceived so much. I’m a fawner, and a people-pleaser, and extremely hyper vigilant. I try so hard to help, that sometimes I miss that people don’t want help, they want to vent. And I try to relate, but people think I’m making it about myself. And I try to be participatory at work, to overcompensate for wanting to be alone. It comes across as too much. I know that because I constantly scrutinize and try to adjust but I can’t find the perfect balance. It’s so hard because I know most people don’t think about ANY of this-they simply are.

Psychedelics are just an exceptional mental health breakthrough. It's quite fascinating how effective they are against depression and anxiety. Saved my life.

@steceymorgan814

11 күн бұрын

Can you help with the reliable source I would really appreciate it. Many people talk about mushrooms and psychedelics but nobody talks about where to get them. Very hard to get a reliable source here in Australia. Really need!

@elizabethwilliams6651

11 күн бұрын

Yes, dr.sporessss I have the same experience with anxiety, depression, PTSD and addiction and Mushrooms definitely made a huge huge difference to why am clean today.

@IkamiLog

11 күн бұрын

I wish they were readily available in my place. Microdosing was my next plan of care for my husband. He is 59 & has so many mental health issues plus probable CTE & a TBI that left him in a coma 8 days. It's too late now I had to get a TPO as he's 6'6 300+ pound homicidal maniac. He's constantly talking about killing someone. He's violent. Anyone reading this Familiar w/ BPD know if it is common for an obsession with violence.

@steceymorgan814

11 күн бұрын

Is he on instagram?

@elizabethwilliams6651

11 күн бұрын

Yes he is. dr.sporessss

I was diagnosed ASD at 50 after being diagnosed with CPTSD in my 40s, which had been previously diagnosed as Bipolar, post-natal depression, generalised anxiety disorder, and adjustment disorder. The psychiatrist who assessed me and diagnosed me autistic said she was shocked that, given my almost constant therapy over my lifetime, nobody had suggested autism as a possibility because she said I was so obviously autistic. Now I’ve found out what that means and watched so many videos about it and especially late diagnosed women’s stories, it’s such a relief to know others share the experience of the debilitating struggles I’ve had all my life. It feels good to know all my quirks that I’ve been teased for all my life are common amongst other autistics! I truly thought it was just my unique weirdness 😂

@johnmraz4000

23 күн бұрын

i found out at 50 too. what a trip. i'm so happy for kids who find out earlier than we did. when i was doing the facial expressions book i almost fainted. i'm a great test taker. i got maybe 4 out of 100 and they were guesses. i asked the therapist 'can people really do this?' i'll never forget. she put her hand on my shoulder and said 'john, this is the book we test 5 and 6 year olds with.' that moment changed my life

@lf5802

22 күн бұрын

This made me tear up. I'm 38 and related to every single thing in this video. I'm hoping one day I can try to get a diagnosis because there is so much shame and difficulty with things in my life.

@cezbabe

21 күн бұрын

What quirks do you have?

@ItCantRainForever2

20 күн бұрын

Same here it is a relief to know we are not crazy just different and unique.

@madazaboxofrogzz8884

6 күн бұрын

I'm still struggling to get my doctor to take me seriously apparently I've been depressed since I was 14 I'm now 50 all my kids are autistic Asperger's ADHD I literally cry every day out of frustration .. I've told the doctor I want answers but was told I'm rude . I'm not rude I'm exhausted x

Thank you for shining a light on these issues. I have spent my whole life being told I have depression and anxiety. I have done courses, taken medication, had clinical hypnotherapy, all to try and help myself but it never has been enough, it still always felt like I was different, broken, unable to deal with so much but I just masked it my whole life. Finally over the last year or so I realised I have CPTSD and that I also have high masking autism, I believe all my mental health problems stem from trying to live in a world, for 51 years, that was not accommodating to my neurodiverse brain, hence anxiety, depression, CPTSD. All the traits are so identifiable to me and it's so emotional and a relief to finally know why life has been so hard and traumatising. Thank you for helping me find my way at last. I finally feel a sense of peace with myself, I am not fighting myself continuously or beating myself up anymore as I now understand why I struggle with some things. 🙏

@faeriesmak

29 күн бұрын

Yes. This exactly. I really relate to everything that you said.

@dessileemcneill5224

29 күн бұрын

I relate to that as well.

@leoniphelan5278

29 күн бұрын

You said that so well and I relate ❤

@SeriousSagittarius

27 күн бұрын

I relate!

@Darkles295

24 күн бұрын

I had to screenshot this because you articulated it so well!

Understanding has most definitely "changed the way I look at my life," Dr. Sage. At sixty-eight, it is the finest experience and is freeing me from a lifetime of misunderstanding my own mind.

@karenholmes6565

28 күн бұрын

It reframes everything, doesn't it.

@StrGzr101

26 күн бұрын

@@karenholmes6565 Oh Karen, you said it.

@POCKBA

26 күн бұрын

That sounds wonderful❤

@JenniferKastelic

25 күн бұрын

yep.

@StrGzr101

23 күн бұрын

@@POCKBA It is when I own it. I try not to believe everything I think.

I've always known I'm weird, and my kids even accused me of being autistic, but I felt offended by the idea of "labeling" myself, so I just ignored the idea. Until this past year. I become more and more convinced, the more research I do, that my kids were right and I am neurodivergent.

@kathyiszkula6710

23 күн бұрын

Thank you, Thank you, Thank you. You have a talent for understanding connections, and clearly communicating, smoothly, and spontaneously what you have learned. If you do any interviewing on utube with people who 200% ! identify with almost every last thing you said ; I can be reached on “What’s Up”. Otherwise I Wish All The Best For You.

@user-lv8pu5bz5i

22 күн бұрын

I think it is a whole new journey, as in Wecome Home self. Education, especially heartfelt authenticity is just amazing from Dr. Sage. She is phenomenally intuituve.

@binathere2574

10 күн бұрын

Same

@heidimisfeldt5685

10 күн бұрын

Autistic means that you are absolutely 💯 % awesome. ❤ 😊

My productivity is so strange. Occasionally I get everything working really well. I get into flow and get the things done I set out to do. Then if there is a disruption, like a get a cold or something, it’s sometimes so bad it’s like I have to mentally start from scratch again. I hide my EF issues from everyone. This is my biggest masking area.

@visionvixxen

24 күн бұрын

This has been really hard for me in life in general and I thought you know I told me it was bipolar. I’ve done all the medication‘s and all the therapy and I have a knee who is clearly on the spectrum and several other family members that haven’t come out, but I don’t know what I’m so burn out. I am lost and it’s like there is just it’s hard to find anywhere to go And also be at being out of my old job since Covid plus I just I don’t know how to get back into the world or if I want to or what I need to understand about myself and rearrange, but unable to do this alone executive function, even like going online figuring out who how much will help me if I have the money to get a job when am I ready like I don’t I don’t know how to say that you guys butI feel like I’m gonna kill myself if someone doesn’t help like it just more and more trauma and I’m feeling worse. It’s not feelings really it’s just like trauma like I need things to fall into place eventually and I’m not anxious. I don’t know how to say it I don’t even know what to.

@visionvixxen

24 күн бұрын

I don’t know how you were able to gather these things with executive function, but I have recorded all of these in my phone 1 million times and I think one of the hardest saddest things is the push pull and people think it’s normal like but like you’re being alone because of this regulation And then when you’re not, and I know shades of when you’re not to this regulations not worth it and you lose your Center and then if you’re alone too much you especially if you have ADD and general humans get stressed if they’re alone it’s like biological and things become meaningless And then like you have to try to fake it and up people just want them but now you’re regulate and you need them and it’s not the way you want to do it. It’s just like constantly like almost like you’re creating your own problem but you also need it. It’s really exhausting actually.

@visionvixxen

24 күн бұрын

I hate whatever I have actually wondered if I’m a narcissist or borderline personality or this is because of bipolar I honestly and there’s all spectrums anyways, but I really hate this. I’m leaving relationships that left me now and I think I don’t know my own trauma and the face and facing the world and sometimes I wanna be with people, but only doing a certain thing because I have so little I don’t know how to explain it. It’s just likepeople don’t deserve the confusion of me and I’m tired and I need to figure out before I go back out there and it’s taking a long time

@camerajen

20 күн бұрын

Oh wow me too.

@youtuber-cc8sx

10 күн бұрын

On reflection, I think I am someone (maybe most of us are) who really needs something or someone to believe in. I have a strong need to love someone. I am not religious. But I feel a void without something outside myself to really kind of love and nurture. In this society we are taught to focus on our job, but 9/10 jobs certainly don’t love or nurture us as human beings, rather we are just utilised as a means to an end. Therefore, loving most jobs would be akin to being in a toxic relationship.

I'm also an empath, and I believe it's rooted in trauma.

@TheKmonta

24 күн бұрын

Definitely. This is me too.

@youtuber-cc8sx

10 күн бұрын

Yeah

"i kind of didn't really care what other people thought sometimes-on the outside-but of course i did on the inside." this sentence describes me perfectly.

@skylarspeaks11

24 күн бұрын

also, i love the music at the ending and beginning of the video-it's so peaceful!

@lialialia9647

22 күн бұрын

@@skylarspeaks11thought that too, think it’s gymnopodie, I might be wrong

You’re describing me to a tea. 100%. So I know I have adhd but am I autistic also❓❓. My executive function is non existent. I took a premature retirement which has increased my awareness of everything about me which has been so revealing and I’m learning even more about me. The only thing I don’t have is Stimming. I research EVERYTHING to see what I don’t know to learn to be more functional. For example I’ve had digestive problems forever. I’ve had very bad esophageal reflux. It got worse where I was vomiting bile at least once or twice a month. I went to my gastroenterologist & he put me on a PPI. I’ve read alot on PPIs and decided I’m going to find a natural alternative. I read and watched here on YT many functional drs about herbs and supplements. I’ve taken digestive enzymes as needed & they worked for some time. I take magnesium citrate every morning also which also helps. Long story short Researching autism I know they always have digestive issues which I also found out that if we are possibly insulin resistant (not diabetic) but all of this involves gut health which is associated also with depression. After reading and listening to many sources I found out about BERBERINE. I started on one per day 300mg & I’ve been on this for only a week and it has been a Godsend. Not only has my reflux stopped but it has lifted my depression and stopped my fatigue which I was experiencing also. It has helped my motility in my intestines also. This supplement is recommended for glucose regulation. I’m hoping after taking this supplement for much longer time down the road my depression will be cured. If I can rid myself of my depression maybe then I will be motivated to work on my executive function. My place is so disorganized. Papers and books everywhere. I can’t keep up with bills or cleaning or anything. So overwhelmed. I couldn’t have anyone come into my apartment whatsoever. It would be so Embarrassing. Ty KIM so much . I’ve learned so much from you & evertime I listen to you you’re describing every detail of what describes me. PLS give me ur thoughts on what I’ve shared here. I need feedback. I’M SO SORRY I WENT ON THIS LONG BUT I THOUGHT U WOULD BE THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD GET WHAT IVE SHARED. Ty u again .

@joyful_tanya

29 күн бұрын

I can relate. I could have written your comment except I have never tried berberine. I will look into it. Thank you.

@mariaducs5512

28 күн бұрын

Thank you for sharing this. I am AUDHD, and I also have digestive issues. I had never heard of Berberine, will give it a try for sure!

@visionsmagazineonlin

12 күн бұрын

Executive function problems I can relate to. I also live cluttered n disorderly. It's so embarrassing. My back goes out if I pick up or clean to any degree. I get achy too. Next day I end up in a lot of pain if I bend much to clean or much standing flares my bone on bone knees. Fatigue mentally n physically also restricts having the clean neat apt I desire. Work leaves me exhausted. Long 12 hr not shifts. It's impossible. Plus I have a free roam bunny. All that clean up. I get so behind.

@RS54321

11 күн бұрын

Gut health is intrinsically tied to brain health/mood/functioning. When I eat too much crappy food, I feel hungover and extremely depressed. I've heard that all dis-ease starts in the gut-I wonder how much healthier we'd all be if we went back to basic, non-processed, nonrefined sugar diets?

@RS54321

11 күн бұрын

@@visionsmagazineonlin Aww, bunnies are the best pets! I had a free roam bunny for years-she was a great comfort and source of joy to me.

I'm realising how misperceived I have been throughout my life - I've only just done my ASD assessment at 51 but this video explains me perfectly

@visionvixxen

24 күн бұрын

How did you get your diagnosis? I don’t just want this but it’s been borderline. I mean it’s not borderline. It’s been bipolar too. It’s been ADD. I just suspect something like this is part of it because other things aren’t matching up and they aren’t working. I’m gonna be 50 this year. I have a feeling for me, I’ve had a neuropsych assessment done also but I don’t know if you were like high functioning, older woman if you don’t know if you do it under the other test first to find out or you just go straight in and do autism assessment but I feel in the dark about this. I’m starting to feel like all this other stuff like secondary to being on the spectrum and I guess I’m wondering, if I should wait I don’t have my life has been falling apart more than usual the past five years and if I don’t figure this out, I’m really gonna want to end it so I don’t know if you need to pay like 3 to 5000 for like a femalewho does online autism high masking I mean sometimes you can’t just do anyone like it I keep hearing you have to find someone these days you’ve been through No More so any idea

@lisawilladsen8702

24 күн бұрын

@visionvixxen I got my adhd diagnosis last year and I guess as I unmasked other things popped up that made start looking at Autism as a possibility for me - I also have 3 children with Autism and my dad was diagnosed bipolar and mum was high anxiety with autism traits. Things just added up for me especially looking back at my life and when I was younger.

@ItCantRainForever2

20 күн бұрын

​@@lisawilladsen8702same here something was off

Physical exercise, but only done exactly right, is like a reset switch to me for at least 24 hours. Nothing else works even remotely as good.

@StrGzr101

29 күн бұрын

My bicycle. It has to run "perfectly." It's like my symbol for self-reliance.

@agathahofmann6977

29 күн бұрын

whats your routine?

@paulhhaggard

29 күн бұрын

“Nothing else” you tried. Let’s try to keep in mind that success for ourselves doesn’t always translate to the right answer for someone else.

@StrGzr101

29 күн бұрын

@@paulhhaggard Let's keep in mind what? You plucked that one out of the air because nobody was offering "right answers for someone else." The OP spoke of self only.

@cheryldailing1294

29 күн бұрын

I've been working out since 1984 and find it crucial in reducing my anxiety

Diagnosed at 44, shortly after my son was. Thank you for this video, I so get all of this, and it's so nice to know it's not just another one of my failings :)

@lexbreal

29 күн бұрын

Same- my adult child has been going through diagnosis and now looking at me like….. ‘whenever your ready mum’

@littlefire1976

26 күн бұрын

Did it cost you money to get that diagnosis? Can someone on welfare get a diagnosis?

Holy hell the overthinking over feeling and over analyzing... Story of My Life. I'm 57 and fighting to overcome this

@yanaa1964

28 күн бұрын

Same

@5p4l2k7

21 күн бұрын

Listen to the song Lateralus by TOOL

@cheryldailing1294

16 күн бұрын

@@5p4l2k7 it's funny because I've heard that song many times but I don't think I've ever really listened.. I will go and listen now, thank you

Late diagnosed at 52 .. Autistically researched for last 2 years. Thank you Kim. Can say this is the most comprehensive and accurate description of my experience I have come across. Would recommend this video to anyone investigating whether they may be autistic or researching post late diagnosis. 🙏🏼🙏🏼

Dr. Kim - Your video about C-PTSD leading to autism has literally changed my life. I brought it up to my therapist 6 months ago and she got a big smile on her face. Reason being that she suspected that I was autistic but still was not sure if that would trigger me to learn. I am still not formally diagnosed mostly out of fear of being told I’m NOT autistic. Because as you said it validates so much for me. Since then Autism and neurodivergence have totally become a special interest. In the past 4 months I’ve gone from being on a Neurodiversity committee at work to being on the verge on starting a company wide neurodiversity program. I guess that’s what happens when you align a persons job duties with their special interests!!! Thank you so much Kim.

@karenholmes6565

28 күн бұрын

Autism is not caused by trauma. Autism is a developmental disorder you are born with. I was autistic before I suffered any trauma. I think the narrative that if a person is autistic that their parents failed them (usually it is blamed on parents) causes more stigma and it keeps parents in denial about their kids having autism. They blame themselves, and that isn't productive because it just isn't true. Our brains process differently. I think that a traumatized brain can mimic some of the issues that autistic brains have, but autism is genetic and it is something you are born with. You can have lovely parents like mine, who were loving and supportive and made you feel safe and secure, and still be autistic. I was autistic from my earliest memories. I had autistic traits since I was literally a baby.

@DRSmith8808

27 күн бұрын

Then I guess Dr. Sage, my therapist and everything else I’ve read about this are wrong. And yes genetics are the other main cause. I grew up with an eggshell narcissistic mother who knowing what I know now is also likely autistic. So I’m pretty sure I have both boxes checked. Not to mention that ASD manifests differently in everyone. Looking back now the signs were there for me as a child but like so many others it wasn’t identified until much later in life.

@karenholmes6565

27 күн бұрын

@@DRSmith8808 You misunderstand me. I did not say that autistic people do not sometimes have awful parents, they do. I think that when allistic people raise autistic people there's going to be trauma from that. They do not understand our special needs. They can be harsh because they do not get our neurology is vastly different. I would say that Dr Sage and your therapist are wrong in that if you do not get autism from bad parenting. That causes CPTSD which can look like autism, but they are different conditions. One is a genetic developmental disorder, the other is like a brain injury. The type of parenting you receive may have increased the trauma of living as an autistic person. I am truly not trying to diminish pain of growing up in a home that did not meet your needs. I think it is important to look at someone's entire medical history before diagnosing them with autism. I have an assessment scheduled in next week with a neurological psychologist that specializes in diagnosing developmental disorders. Autism has become my special interest for the last year so I spent 100s of hours researching it and a 1000 more comparing my life history for signs of autism. Why is it so important to me to make this distinction between cptsd and autism being different disorders? Because the treatment for them is different. If you've got ptsd cognitive behavioral therapy is the standard of care. It is really impactful for people with cptsd. If you've got undiagnosed autism CBT often doesn't help you. I had 3 different therapisst and it did not help me. I was told I think too much, or that I wasn't concentrating on the real problem because they couldn't understand that the things I found traumatizing are different from an allistic person. It is all really complicated. Autistic women get misdiagnosed, or our autism complicates treatment for other mental health conditions we develop. Think of it this way, you can have autism and PTSD. Being autistic actually increases your likelihood of getting CPTSD. But you cannot get autism from your CPTSD because it is a genetic developmental disorder you are born with. You have to go back to your earliest childhood to know if what you've got is autism. If your symptoms were not present since birth you are not autistic. That is according to all of the literature and the diagnostic criteria.

@deborahrotondo7792

24 күн бұрын

My husband was diagnosed at age 59, he has had trauma in his youth into adulthood, his parents and teachers didn't understand him. He now has CPTSD caused by being cheated and ripped off at his job. He really suffers a lot, he will be 70 next year.

@DRSmith8808

24 күн бұрын

@@karenholmes6565Thanks for clarifying and explaining the difference. I misspoke when I said that C-PTSD causes autism, rather it can have similar traits. And you’re right about how people blaming bad parents for causing autism perpetuating a stigma.

Late diagnosed at 38 yrs old. Also realized my masking for high performance was my overcompensation.. straight As and leader in every circle / sport / job… later became an entrepreneur small business owner so I could excel but have a start/stop flexibility that I REQUIRE for work load.

Gosh, I've always been the person you're describing, Dr. Kim. I do have CPTSD (abusive childhood) and PTSD (I survived brutal gang rape as a teenager) but I've always felt weird and forced to engage all of my energy to just fit in. At 48 I avoid people as much as physically possible. I have anxiety 24/7, terrible allergies to synthetic scents and many many food allergies. I have social phobia, can't put on masks any more so I avoid people, I hate certain sounds, bright light, I suffer from severe migraines,IBS, perfectionism, and I still live with my narcissistic mother (I tried to run away many a time but she cut my limbs off emotionally decades ago so I always came back) who is the main source of my CPTSD. I hope to have the courage, money and physical health to leave this God forsaken house of horrors and the country that I hate next year when my son graduates high school. I barely function at this point, my profession is basically dying (machines are taking over translating jobs) so I feel like a failure and completely unemployable at my age, but since hope dies last, I still hope I can change my life and start from scratch.

@tomsale5142

16 күн бұрын

Do you have fybromyalgia heds

Diagnosed at 53, & have had imposter syndrome. This video removes the imposter syndrome & validates the diagnosis. I am high functioning (aspergers) & high masking.

The more I watch these videos, the more I feel that I fit the bill. Currently healing from working too much which actually physically hurt me. We’ll check out your course and see if it’s something I could work on while healing. Thank you. 🙏

Wow yet again you have nailed what I went through as a child and how it has shaped who I am now! While I have known it for a long time, to hear someone else explain it and have experienced it too is so helpful!

Wow! At 61, I am so glad/happy to track this journey with you. Super freeing. So very grateful for this lens/understanding.

My primary care physician is the one who put 2 and 2 together. Based on my multiple diagnosis of depression, anxiety, adhd, bowel problems, eating disorder ( i go days, weeks, months eating the same thing, if I can't get it, i just don't eat) my clumsiness and social ineptness, extreme discomfort with being touched, combined with my son's ASD diagnosis caused her to believe I might be on the spectrum. What sealed the deal was my chronic underemployment and inability to keep a job longer than a year. My 3 years of speech therapy probably helped her connect the dots

Wow, this video really hit home. As a late diagnosed adult with autism, everything you said is spot on. Just wow!

I was generally happier and more easy going before puberty.

@tomsale5142

16 күн бұрын

Yeah the OCD got worse after then to got CFS now fybromyalgia

Blessings to you Dr. Kim. I’m a clinical psychologist working in a neuropsychological “medical” practice/clinic. My sons are 19 (in Ivy League college) and 21 ( entering last year in neuroscience studying clinical application of mindfulness). After 22 years of marriage I divorced their dad 5 years ago. In the past 5 years my boys and I have identified as neurodivergent and have bonded deeply with autism spectrum vocabulary. They just got home for the summer from college and I look forward to watching this video with them. Thank you for giving voice to my plight in life that resonates with yours. High “Masking” “eggshell parents” “hyper vigilance “ “empath” high functioning persona “mismatched” with true self. I hear you and love your leadership. Great Job Dr. Kim! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼 … now the follow through… taking your plethora of courses. Fingers crossed I will. Wondering if you offer CEUs for any of your classes?

Love your extended deep dive into this topic lately. Your curiosity, openness, & the possible connections you are seeing are of very great value to many of us. Thank you ❤🙏

Dr. Kim, thank you for explaining all those details with personal experience and how everything connects together.

Congratulations on completing your course: it sounds epically packed with lots of value as your content always is 🙏To have those chronically misunderstood experiences leading to punishment is one of the most surreal experiences especially pre-discovery(of Autism)...the intense emotions that follow are always triggered with the next experience and never understanding what are the causes or if indeed; it was deserved somehow ☀

Dr. Kim! I so appreciate your videos, this one especially so. Can relate to all of it! Thank you for your research, insight, framing, even your open questions regarding these related issues during the past many months. I am 60(!) and have found your content to be such a healing salve to my overworked, overmasked soul. And your vulnerability/transparency informs and enriches all of it. Blessings to you❤

I keep finding these awesome channels. You understand me and that is just amazing. I never knew all of you were out there, just like me. It's not just an umbrella understanding and suspicion that I've been living for decades undiagnosed. It's all the little things I hear you and other creators on the spectrum that make my jaw hit the floor at knowing I'm not alone anymore! When you talked about walking up to use the restroom, when I do the same I try to keep my eyes closed so as not to minimize the tsunami waves of thoughts that invade my head, stress me out and grow like dirty snowballs. Thank you for putting yourself out there and helping other adults like me that until now, just thought I was a misfit. ASD never dawned on me until the last few weeks. Mind blown!

I relate to all of these. The only thing I'm not hearing from you is difficulty in learning. I'm almost 59 yrs old, I've never had a good paying job. I freeze up when trying to learn new things because it takes a very long time to learn and be able to use new skills. I recently got a job as a bank teller, after they sent me back for a 3rd week of training, on the last day, I quit, I knew I still didn't have it, but probably could've have gotten it eventually. I still need to work, but the things I've done in the past, like home care I don't feel up to all the physical. I'm very insecure about my abilities always have been. In counseling about 2 years ago, she said it sounded like a learning disability. For all the systems you listed in the video that I have, I was just telling my husband that it is very exausting being me. What gets me through is my faith in God, knowing he has a purpose for everything and someday I'll be healed and whole.

@JesusistheOnlyWay222

29 күн бұрын

AMEN you will be healed and made whole. Jesus saved our entire being not just our soul. God bless you. I was led to Dr Kim and others for understanding on avoidant attachment styles. Now I'm being led to adjd and autism for my son and quite possibly for myself. Jesus is our strength 💓🙇🏻‍♀️🤗🕊

@dessileemcneill5224

28 күн бұрын

@@JesusistheOnlyWay222 Amen and thank you for commenting. Blessings to you and your son.

@karenholmes6565

28 күн бұрын

I tried to be a bank teller. They hired me. I had to pass a test where I had to quickly and accurately deal with money. I failed twice. Do not feel bad about your abilities to find something you excel at. I went on to college and I had a 3.96 GPA clear through grad school. I am really slow at processing certain things, but I learn things deeply and I make novel connections between data points. You will find something that is your niche.

@RS54321

11 күн бұрын

I can totally relate to what you're saying.

@carolinebedford9836

10 күн бұрын

@@JesusistheOnlyWay222 autism is not something that needs to be healed, it sounds you could do with doing some research as to what autism is, it is neurological, you speak about it as it is some sort of an illness that requires healing.

Finding Dr. Sage's work is life changing, especially the personal authenticity. Looking at a lifetime of ADHD but not knowing about high masking autism traits, it's been like half way knowing how to thrive. I am so looking forward to her books.

That's why I joined the military, for the structure and order it gave me. Same time it was really difficult for me being around a big group, but I masked it yes. Kansas my first station, they had a art building and a photography dark room, where I spend most of my free time to escape from well everyone lol. Loved art, photography. I hid behind my camera too; it was my safe space.

Thank you for your continued education on this subject. Having recently assumed a new living situation, and sharing common spaces with folks whose lifestyle is wholly different, my routine has been heavily displaced, causing shockwaves of frustration in my being. For instance, not being able to create meals and lazily eat them in silence. And feeling as if my habits are being inventoried by those same others.

Thank you for this. Theres been times that people have thought i wasn't being nice way back in my past & i didn't understand why. From your last part in this video, it really resonates in the reason why they might have thought that. Thank you ❤

Dr. Sage, I wish there was a way to communicate with you one on one. You are describing and my experiences in this video. Things from my past are making so much sense. I’ve always chalked it up to depression but it’s so much more.

Thank you so much for sharing. This is eye opening and is especially important to our healing journey, especially during the second half of life. I can relate to almost all of what you explained. I also need to give myself more grace. I am new to your channel and I am so glad that I found you! Thank you for all you do!

One big thing in my life: I feel like I'm the most misunderstood person on the planet! I have the most organic and nice intentions, but somehow they come across wrong to other people, I am terrible at pursuing friendships, even though I want them (I literally just go invisible ), I have several OCD tendencies, I am extremely sensitive to sound... So much so, that I want to run out of the house and drive off. No one understands me, and I don't understand myself... 😭

@youtuber-cc8sx

10 күн бұрын

❤️

@jantaljaard835

6 күн бұрын

Why dont you go to a psychologist?

@youtuber-cc8sx

6 күн бұрын

@@jantaljaard835 because most of them are useless

I was diagnosed with ADD in the late 90’s at age 25. But after this video, I think I may have autism because I fit these descriptions 90%. Now my life makes sense. Thank you for your dedication to explaining the symptoms ❤

Yes, I relate so much. I’m 44 and going through so much. Thank you so much for all you do!

As soon as you started the section about executive function, & you were listing the exigencies of a normal life, I got so stressed out, I had to stop the video for a moment to recover. I appreciate your sharing all this & breaking it down for us!

You’re a very good person , and your videos have been so helpful , and thank you for sharing that little personal story, I can relate to it and I’m sure many others can also, this is a journey of healing and growth , take care

“Literally dreading every social thing I plan” Omg yes this is me. I remember from An early age not really getting much out of social interactions - I needed a board game or activity to keep my mind busy around friends. When I hit my 20s I used alcohol and drugs to give me the social boost I needed to go out either friends on the weekend and they worked. I noticed when I hit the age of 30 though that the entire social experience just felt like 98% work and 2% reward. Alcohol didn’t work anymore so I did force myself out a few times only to want to go back home after an hour. Then I’d have friends begging me to stay out later and guilt tripping me into going out the next night .. uggh this is all just frustrating and exhausting to me so I just isolated more and more into my 30s. I have yet to meet someone that truly understands my social boundaries and needs. Tbh the thought of trying to create a new friendship from scratch is beyond daunting . I don’t think it’s even possible at this point I have never been able to enjoy small talk either. It’s mind numbing and soul sucking

@jmc8577

2 күн бұрын

Oh my goodness. Your comment makes me think of my son. I think he hates socialising and doesn't realise it. Alcohol is the numbing

Thanks, Kim. Recently divorced in a foreign country, alone, got through my first surgery-ever, lost my mother in the USA, last relative and dealing with hardship at 61, has not been a picnic. All of the aforementioned has broken down my internal regulating system, perspective loss and inner-subjective. I believe that my ex was also on the spectrum, but higher functioning-well, with the help of his family. There were traits of NPD, perhaps in both of us or I am simply questioning myself. Either way, I can see how so many misunderstandings can be made between couples and people in general with AUT-Spec. mislabeling, etc. Early childhood behaviors and AUT tendencies were more pronounced in me. I've worked my way down to chewing all the skin off my thumbs and anxious mooring to very repetitive rituals. Being alone has been a double-edged sword, I'm not a very good mirror for myself, cracked by chronic situational anxiety. I'm searching for help, but I am terrified of prescribers, under-educated psychologists, psychiatrists who are too lazy to do more than write out an Rx.

You are such a brave and generous person. I relate such a lot to the things you share. I feel less alone because of this. Thank you .

This video. I subscribed & I am saving this video to show my behavioral health physician. I am disgnosed with inattentive ADHD, but I feel like there's more to it. You've mentioneed every single thing I've struggled with all my life and I feel like this just reassures me that I am not crazy. Thank you so much for this video.

Thank you so much for talking about this. I am a late autistic with ADHD. My life experience flowed into CPTSD, PMDD to moving through my life changes into my mid fifties. All this complexity and therapy brought me to my testing and diagnosis. I connect so much with what you are describing. ❤

Thank you so much for this video. Any time ive worked up the courage to try to talk about the possibility of Autistic diagnosis, they tell me that its just adhd and complex trauma. I've never heard anyone talk about trauma and Autism. You gave me so many words that i couldn't find...thank you

When you listed skin picking as hidden stimming, I had a very strong reaction. I do that and I've been exploring whether I'm autistic lately.

Another excellent video, Kim. The more I watch the more I learn and the better I understand (and love) the women in my life with autism. I’ve also learned that the Enneagram four type tends to exacerbate many of the issues you cover in late diagnosed autism.

@Practitionher

27 күн бұрын

Im 5w4 and INFJ. Thanks for fueling my research the next few hours 🤣

@skylarspeaks11

24 күн бұрын

i am also an enneagram 4 (: fun times.

This is incredible, I really relate to alot of this! Thank you so much for making this video ❤

I was just given my diagnosis on Monday and I’m 52. Thank you so much for your videos. I just want to cry. Everything you said I relate to. I thought I was crazy because all my life, I was/is the problem for everything. I have so much to learn about myself. It’s scary but also a relief. Thank you again.

@ItCantRainForever2

19 күн бұрын

Amen I found my niche I think.

@alexanderlapp5048

12 күн бұрын

I am the same age as you. I believe I have high masking autism. I am now at the point of trying to figure what to do about it. How have things changed for you since you were given your diagnosis? Side note: I did have an exgf tell me I was autistic. She was a nursing assistant but she did research psychology quite a bit. This was 9 years ago and at the time I was annoyed and insulted. Over the last few years I have been slowly coming to the conclusion that I am autistic. DR Kim has very accurately described a lot of things about my life in this video.

So good! Very helpful. Appreciate this, you. 🙏🏼💕☺️

This sounds exactly like my experience 💯✨❤️ thank you so much for making this! It’s just so wild how much this all maps up to my life perfectly… my family does not think I could be autistic and think I’m being ignorant or attention seeking for even considering it. They kinda shut me down so I’m not supposed to talk about it I guess.

Thank you for highlighting practical solutions first, I’m self diagnosed and have had an improvement to my own quality of life in subsequent years. The internal experience can only be reported not directly transferred. We rarely question people who self diagnose depression or anxiety, yet when it comes to high functioning autism there’s stigma around self diagnosis. I don’t need validation to know my lived in experience is extreme for me. Dust from a box sending me into a conniption, closing my ears to avoid shopping cart sounds or vacuums, sensitivity to smells no matter how subtle. On and on. I can type for days. This isn’t to denigrate trained professionals, but instead to highlight the validity of people’s experiences, independent of the conformity to the (often flawed) zeitgeist.

Thank you so much for this. You explain it all so well. Yes, there was the trauma(s) but there is something else .. I'll be thinking about this.

Great video Kim. ❤

I feel like u hit the nail on the head with describing the experiences 😢

I relate to so much of what you’re saying, only realizing I am likely on the spectrum at age 44. I’ve gone through so much suffering emotionally, which feels generally more painful than physical pain, all my life, getting all these labels you mentioned, taking every psychiatric drug in my teens and 20’s, then moving into my spiritual awakening throughout my 30’s, still not finding relief or the ability to “work” like I’m supposed to, the eventual meltdowns that always come from pushing myself to be something I’m not and all the shame from all the on lookers throughout my life. So thank you for being a voice that understands this. I would like to add a suggestion, as another trigger to these autistic quirks, why does everyone making these videos that are supposed to support autistic ppl face the camera straight on with unwavering eye contact and only their upper bodies??? It’s totally overwhelming for me to watch these kinds of videos fully. I really want to hear the information but it sets me off to try to stare at someone’s face for half an hour. I don’t even do that with my closest friends. It would help if thescenes changed and different pictures were shown during the conversation, to distract away from the constant overwhelming eye contact. It’s not just you, I’m seeing this a lot on KZread videos meant to help autistic ppl. 💜

the colors on your set are so calming

THIS VIDEO!!!! I can’t tell you how much I can relate to this!!! My mind is blown!!!! Please know you are NOT alone.

omg. Everything you just went through is accurate. I have a CPTSD diagnosis, but no autism diagnosis, but I've suspected. I'm going to share this with my gp+psyc. Thanks Dr. Sage.

Thank you Dr Sage. I love your channel 😊

I do the same with my necklace and charm. 😊 You are right about hair twirling. Question: Aren’t they all just self soothing from stress or anxiety? I am 48 and want to distinguish cptsd (diagnosed) or how ADHD and autism can be underdiagnosed. How to discuss with my psychiatrist without seeming like an internet “dr google”. No dr seems to diagnose adults and only sees autism as diagnosed in children. Makes patients like me afraid to bring it up at appts. Your videos are truly amazing all together. How you relate to your viewers so freely is so vulnerable of you and admirable. Your space and calming voice along with “hand over heart” throughout not only helps me greatly, but also shows your heart for others. Hopeful. I support and pray your channel reaches many and I believe it will 🎉🙏🏽🫶🏽

@starflower703

29 күн бұрын

My son and I saw a behavioral specialist, who was so very helpful in giving us perspective into our personalities and why we do certain things. She labeled us both as hyper vigilant, adhd, possible autism (this requires more neuropsychological testing), and being highly sensitive persons. Simply having this understanding helps tremendously and a behavioral specialist can help you find resources for diagnosis. If you can’t find a behavioral specialist, look into neuropsychiatric centers. They are a great resource for diagnosis and if they don’t do it, they can point you in the right direction for providers in your area who do provide diagnosis for autism even in adults. There are also some great online screening tools for adult autism. I took one and it indicates I am on the spectrum.

This was VERY helpful! Thank you!

Thank you for this video. I am not diagnosed, neither as autism spectrum nor as ADHD, but I've also never even attempted to discuss either with a doctor (frankly, I've been apprehensive about discussing psychological or cognitive matters with physicians, aside from the chronic insomnia that lead to my original depression diagnosis in my early 20s; they haven't historically inspired a sense of trust and confidence in me WRT to such discussions). I do, however, identify with every point brought up except #9 (I don't depend on routine; looking back, my adult life has frequently not provided much support for depending on routine for self-regulation, so maybe it just hasn't been a realistic option for me). I've wondered for quite a while if I fall on the autism spectrum. And, of course, I've had Imposter Syndrome related apprehensions related to allowing that possibility. But the more I hear from actual diagnosed (or otherwise knowledgeable) folks about the symptoms, the more convinced I become that I am at least some flavor of neurodivergent. Whatever my situation may be in a clinical sense, I have most certainly been heavily masking and otherwise coping my whole life, and I've gotten very, very good at it, so good that others around me (to the extent there still are any; I relate hard to the lost relationships symptom) almost certainly don't notice any struggle, probably wouldn't really understand if I tried to tell them, and would likely be incredulous even if I had a legitimate diagnosis and shared that with them. I also have struggled so, so much with employment, including right now (unemployed for nearly two years; not the first long bout of unemployment for me, either; more like the fourth or something), so I don't have access to medical insurance, and certainly can't afford to seek a diagnosis without it. Anyway, thanks again for the insightful descriptions. I relate strongly to nearly all of them (and at least weakly to the remaining one).

Found out in the last 6-8 months that I'm autistic and I'm honestly in denial even though it makes 100% sense. People have tried to diagnose me with depression, bipolar, ocd, sensory issues etc etc. But I learned to read before I was 3, I have hyperlexia. I "neglect" a lot of things in my life. I have tons of special interests and forget to tend to my relationships sometimes. I had to learn to advocate for myself throughout my life. Sensory issues my entire life. Lights, fans, sounds, textures. Sometimes I will have to repeat things 10-100x before I'm sick of it. I have specific routines I need to keep myself in check and if I don't take care of myself I will snap. The rage with certain noises - but then before autism awareness I just kept telling myself I needed to practice "tolerance" and stop controlling others (which are still great skills) I mask so much and always have my entire life. Your videos help a lot. I'm still embracing/grieving this diagnosis because I think I judge the community. And that's something for me to reflect on.

@kelseydavidson569

21 күн бұрын

Repeating phrases. Skin picking. Toe picking. Fixations. Being stuck. When I was younger I was more hyperviligant although I still overthink. Multiple tabs in my brain all the time.

What are some common experiences and traits often seen in late-diagnosed Autistic adults, and how do these differ from those exhibited by neurotypical individuals?

I love your content, especially how you look for the connection between autism and trauma. I‘d be really interested to hear what you think of Kimberly Kitzerow and the work she’s done. I don’t know what to make of it. Would it be something for a podcast? I’d definitely love to hear your opinion!

Dr. Sage, thank you for the wonderful video. I CANNOT BELIEVE you are 56. 36 maybe! You are lovely, inside and out.

I can completely relate to your points, late diagnosed last September at 57; I also had childhood trauma. Having the diagnosis has enabled me to understand many things about myself and yet, I still struggle every day.

I'm 45 and was diagnosed in February. It's been wild, you could say. This video is dead on! 100% Thank you. Talk about a salve for any case of imposter syndrome. TY

I can relate with most of what you described, except the weird thing is I remember needing to have a tag cut out, and may have some mild sensory issues as a child, but might have outgrown them as people-pleasing often overshadowed my needs.

This was a very helpful video. I’d like more therapists like Dr. Kim to address how trauma not due to autistic traits can have an effect on the autistic experience. Many high masking women are falsely diagnosed with CPTSD, but many have faced unspeakable traumas from abusive families and CSA. It is extremely difficult for them to get good treatment. They are often abused in session. They may be discarded unceremoniously. Understandably, the autistic community wants to put on its best face, so these difficult situations don’t get discussed much publicly. It would be great if Dr. Kim would address what safe treatment avenues are available to these potential clients.

30 seconds into the video. Your voice is so calming. 🥰

Thank you for the video. I struggled to pay attention to this because im just at one of those points were i cant get my brain to stop overthinking everything. Think i better watch it again.

Your work is so helpful to me. 54 managing what I feel is autism. Didn't really have a clue till recently. Elderly mother lives on my property. 82 and realising she is adhd. She has been tricky over the years. I've spent my whole life trying to cope. Did okay for what I had on my plate but I'm exhausted now. Lots of childhood trauma and family rejection to this day. Felt like I parented both of my parents. Your work gives me rest to say I'm doing my best. Time for me. Thank you.

This hit home. And explains so much about how I tick.

Thank you Dr Sage😊

I plan on bringing these things up with my therapist soon. I’ve suffered with migraines with auras ever since I was the age of 10 years old. I would get them when I would get overstimulated by scents, lights and physical activity. I even have visual disturbances that’s caused by sound. Not one doctor has mentioned that it could be autism. I do see certain behaviors and characteristics within my family members on my mom side. I would just like to make sense of a lot of this.

Our oldest sonn has ADHD he has two autistic children. He gave 20 yrs to the Marine Corps. He worked onn the F-35 plane, retired from the Corps and is still working with the same plane as a quality control liaison. Point is, don't let your diagnosis hold you back. Go adter your dreams!

Congratulations, great video. Totally my experience.

Great video! Thank you!

We sound like the SAME people. I just don't know how to fix it. I'm 62, no close friends, dysfunctional relationships, CPTSD, from childhood and onward. RN, Agency only because I can't maintain relationships, even at work. I have to be able to run. 99% sure I'm autistic. Diagnosed ADHD at 36. My entire life has been one long mess.

I think my Daddy is on the spectrum. Momma had this weird personality disorder. Which I later learned was some form or border line…. They both were immature alcoholics had children And the rest is what I call my sisters and my life. I know there is a purpose to all the pain And I am no longer a child. But the behaviors I still retain came from somewhere. Anxiety depression, adhd rewatching movies and listening to the same music over and over. You described me so well it is almost disturbing. Breaking my routine is a trigger. I’m off for the rest of the day. And it takes days to get regulated again.

Their is no end game. Cos, it is not a game and it has no end. I just get comfortable with it, and watch everybody else do what they need to do(or, do not).

I'm late diagnosed AuDHD and have had a close friend for 60 years but she is autistic so she is safe for me and I for her. We can be honest with each other without offense, masks come down. She has saved my life with her understanding and compassion for the many traumas I have been through

This is brilliant, thank you for sharing. I think it's really difficult to understand. I'm struggling with trauma Vs possibly also being ADHD or autistic. Never had a private assessment! I'm nearly 40!!!

Thank you for this! I appreciate you. I am an adult who was late diagnosed with autism (high-functioning.) God bless.

I grew up feeling misunderstood, with even my mother calling me thin-skinned, over-sensitive, quirky. Thankfully I have had a fulfilling career, but at huge personal expense. My colleagues would probably describe me as fun, but I'm masking all the time. It's exhausting. I have never sought a diagnosis but I strongly suspect I am autistic.

Wow fascinating and wonderful thank you❤

Your video makes complete sense to me. I identify with all the points 100%.

demand avoidance is going to make the routine part of ASD look different if that's your profile - can also be a huge contributing factor to childhood trauma

I had extremely high anxiety which was causing me health issues. A doctor I went to for help told me it was all in my head and nothing else. They messed my mindset. 20 years later, learning about my neurodivergence's and working with them. I bairly have any panic attacks now

Would like to thank you. I saw one of your clips a while ago and finally agreed to an assessment (mental health professionals kept trying to say I was showing strong autistic traits and would benefit from an assessment) being 44 I was reluctant and felt they were trying to say me being me was a condition and somehow felt wrong. Anyway I did it I am autistic and thanks to that I have answers. I was.misdiagnosed with bipolar type 2 (turns out it was an autism thing with emotional disregulation issues and over stimulation so my brain wasn't switching off properly then I'd burnout/zoned out to the point I was unable to speak for days even week or so. Now my meds are changing I have slightly different management than I was given before (nothing major jist small changes how the professionals give me info in smaller chunks and I get reminders etc.

I am grateful that my friends and family are so accepting but it doesn't change the fact that I am questioning my whole life experience. I feel at the same time relief that I have answers to "why am I like this?!" but also grief b/c the person who I thought I was doesn't necessarily exist.