My whole life is a burnout... Took me years to recover from one trauma to another

@sourgreendolly7685

8 ай бұрын

I feel this so hard

@beautyandgrace7997

7 ай бұрын

Yes, so often it feels like I start to get my feet under me again and as soon as I do some new bullshit happens

@brianmeen2158

7 ай бұрын

Yeah perhaps I just didn’t notice it when I was younger but when I hit 30-31 I started to feel the burnout. And it takes days to go away and can reappear quickly. Not good and there’s not really much that can be done about it

@brianmeen2158

7 ай бұрын

@@beautyandgrace7997same here. As soon as my energy and mindset get back to “normal” then I’m hit with another incident.

@staceyhunt6769

6 ай бұрын

Get outta my head!!!

For me it's not just one trigger it's a cumulative effect. Kinda like the snowball effect. And everything builds up on top of each other till burnout. I've burnt out many times. And as a younger adult and teenager I was also told by older men to "man up" "suck it up" "deal with it" "you're a man you're not supposed to feel like this". My first full on burnout got me medically retired from the Navy in 2013. Since then I was hit with everything in the DSM except Autism. No matter how many burn outs I went through. Till the burnout in 2017. And I was pushing for an Autism Diagnostic interview. They kept refusing till I had a full fledged violent meltdown right there with the therapist. Was put into a straight jacket and chained to a hospital bed. And finally got my interviews and diagnosis. Since then we've just been focusing on the Autism and the more we focus and grow with that the more everything else balances. And recently I've been trying to recoup from another burnout, it hit about 6 months ago and I'm still trying to get through. And in burnout meltdowns, shutdowns, and seizures happen way more frequently and way more severely. Which kinda sucks but I'm trying.

@Roswell33

9 ай бұрын

Oh man I'm so sorry to hear what you've been through! I am struggling majorly at the moment as well. I hope you are doing better now!

@etcwhatever

8 ай бұрын

I hope you are doing better. I had 2 seizure type events in the past. I did not know it could be related to autism. Thank you and wish you the best

@madnessintomagic

7 ай бұрын

This

@chloeindigo

4 ай бұрын

Yes, I also ended up forcibly (and illegally) hospitalised after telling the psychiatrist I was autistic and them ignoring written communication when I was nonverbal. I have a permanent change in my forehead after hitting my head so many times.

@tomsale5142

3 ай бұрын

Do you have any chronic pain symptoms from your burnout

I am just over 14 years into my latest burnout, and at this point I have little hope that I will return to baseline. I do my best to function day to day, and I try not to let this weigh me down any more than necessary. One of my most difficult struggles is allowing myself to recover the way I need to. I feel like I’m letting everyone down, and being extremely lazy when I can’t get out of bed. I feel really guilty about it despite my attempts to be kind to myself. I’m so fortunate to have a partner who constantly researches autism related topics, and reminds me that I’m not being judged. She encourages me to take the time I need, and when I’m spiraling into meltdown, recognizes it before I do most of the time, and turns off the tv, lights, and any other sounds. She gently nudges me to put on my headphones, get as comfortable as possible, and sits beside me quietly while I reset. She has only been in n my life for two and a half years, and I can’t help but feel like if she had been here 14 years ago, I might be in much better condition today.

I worked in office jobs in IT for 11 years but I quit in 2017 because I had what I now realise was an autistic burnout. I don’t think I’d have actually been diagnosed with autism if I hadn’t burnt out though. I had a breakdown and got referred to a psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me with BPD and then to a psychologist who assessed me for BPD and told me actually I was autistic. I couldn’t go back to working in IT now, at the time I didn’t realise how much I struggled with the pace of having to always be connected and always keeping up with new tech developments so when I wasn’t doing well I thought I was just lazy and kept pushing myself harder until I’d had enough

@mariahconklin4150

Жыл бұрын

OMG that makes so much sense I have such a hard time with things changing I have Auditory Processing Disorder but I hate it when I either get all of this information bombarded with emails with a ton of words on a page for a job or when things change and I have to learn new skills. I heard APD and ADHD and AUTISM are all kind of connected though.

@Ellington_Industrial_Arts

11 ай бұрын

I totally get it! I don't want to be anywhere near a keyboard, after 25 years of making a living at one.

@MrScottMagnus

9 ай бұрын

I feel for you. I quit work as an IT manager a little over a year ago after working in IT for 30 years. I haven't worked since and am blowing through all my savings. Got 3 kids, only one still in school, and I have no idea when I'll feel normal again.

@etcwhatever

8 ай бұрын

This struck a cord with me...pushing myself beyond limits just thinking im lazy until i cant even get out of bed with my brain twisted into a bun.

It's so hard making people understand that we DO NOT work the same way as THEY DO! We need things that they don't and i don't know why people find that so difficult to understand and accept

@cordeliahobbs8595

5 ай бұрын

It's because we look "normal" on the outside.... The psychologist that I paid a lot of money to misdiagnosed and declared I was just depressed. My UPS driver with one son with level 2 autism and one with Asperger's, he recognized my Asperger's right away. It's a matter of perspective and ignorance. Most people choose to remain ignorant, which breeds arrogance.

I was diagnosed at the age 37 after I suffered a severe burnout. I realized that I had been in this burnout state for years. I am a writer and I could not find words for about 10 years and could not cope in my workplace either. It was not a typical writer's block but a sudden and total loss of my executive functions. I was also in a permanent state of depersonalization and derealization and it was difficult since I could not explain it and I had no support system. After my diagnosis, it got better. I am going to have my book published next month and I have stepped out from people and situations that were draining and incompatible to me. Thank you for that video. I felt seen.

@Roswell33

9 ай бұрын

What is your book called?

@isotope73

9 ай бұрын

I've had severe burnout too, also with no support system. It's pure hell. I'm interested in your book & I think I could write one too. But I'm 50 & can barely get through the work week.

@tomsale5142

3 ай бұрын

​@@isotope73do you have fybromyalgia symptoms from your burnout

I got autistic burnout when I was 27, and I'm 52 now and NEVER recovered!

@tomsale5142

8 ай бұрын

What are your main symptoms

@braumenheimer9607

8 ай бұрын

@@tomsale5142 There's no drive or motivation to get up and really do anything with myself. Back between 95-97 I ran an underground bar on and off, and put everything I had into it, but come the end of the run I had to come to realize that the results I experienced were nowhere along the lines of the expectations I had that originally motivated me to do it. Ever since there just hasn't been anything of substantiation in my life(this has now been going on for 25 years). There are ideas I have that come and go, but they never really materialize or go anywhere. It's like all the life just got sucked right out of me, and I can't snap back into it.

@ChristoffRevan

4 ай бұрын

Melodramatic much?

I've had black circles under my eyes since I was probably 13 it's just too much. I need support, connection, peace, and lots of vistibulat stimuli

This is me now. Just diagnosed a few weeks ago at 44 years old. Pretty sure I've been in a burnout for the last 10 years. OMG YES THANK YOU FOR SNORING PUPPY! Ahem - anyway. Yeah, this is timely as hell. My husband and I have been daydreaming about buying a 5th wheel and living on the road {been a SpIn for me for about 7 years} but money/employment has been a concern. Finding out I'm Autistic {and he's ADHD} has brought that to a whole new level for me. It's gone from retirement daydream to life goals now. Might just end up being be the main driver in getting me out of burnout!

@AmaranthineIntrigue

4 ай бұрын

I live in a van and it is so nice! If my neighbors get noisy, I just leave!

I am in the middle of autistic burnout. I work in the legal field. I saw pedestrians when very young and was referred to speech therapist and parents were told to see a psychologist, but mum was very offended and didn’t think there was anything wrong with me (my siblings and now I suspect she is on the spectrum). I was diagnosed with social anxiety, generalised anxiety, panic disorder and depression but did very well academically (when I wasn’t missing hundreds of days of school / stress vomiting). Everything was explained as a panic attack or anxiety thing because I didn’t have a conventional learning disability. Whenever I had really bad periods of burnout as a child and stopped speaking people didn’t really notice because I was already very antisocial. I started and stopped a number of uni courses before eventually working hard to become a lawyer. COVID we’re the best years of my life as I didn’t have to mask as much or deal with open plan offices. I still had bad burnout and meltdowns (crying for days or weeks at a time, vomiting, etc) but I always thought it was an anxiety thing and I’d been told I was too dramatic and sensitive. I eventually got diagnosed with autism and ADHD. My most recent meltdown cycle was every day and then I lost the ability to speak, and could only make shrieking noises. I used to make Nazgûl noises to myself, especially when stressed, but people thought it was just an hardcore fan thing. Anyway. I didn’t realise this is common until recently. I’d been struggling to process tasks and socially communicate for a while, but being very isolated I don’t think people really noticed. Until a newer coworker introduced himself as autistic to me, and he said it was obvious that I was. Which made me panic, as I try very hard not to be. And long story short my partner emailed my work, and I had to extend my 2 weeks planned leave to a month. Part of me is worried I will be fired, but another part of me doesn’t have the energy to control it anymore. I hope I get better soon. I’ve only been able to listen to one or two songs on repeat all day, and an extra sensitive to food and smells now - mostly just eating weetbix this week, everything else makes me feel sick. I hope I get better soon. Watching this sort of thing is making me feel a little less crazy. My family said it makes sense, but part of me is sad I didn’t get the help I needed until so late in life. Sorry, very long, but hopefully others can relate. 😊

@etcwhatever

8 ай бұрын

Oh the thing you say about food...i have an auto immune disease and had a liver intoxication from a medication that went wrong. So...i spent an entire month eating only raw tofu with cucumber. So when i saw my doctor i told her everything but those foods made me sick...she explained all the blood tests and told me nope...its not related your liver is back to normal. And yes im experiencing a lot of the autistic burnout symptoms and even my new psychologist agrees i have some traits and i might be required to go through a specific assessment. But some years ago i was also vomiting all the time due to stress...out of work hours actually managed to keep the food down. Im on sick leave. Totally drained

@AlexisTwoLastNames

5 ай бұрын

thank you for writing this. any experience helps me learn and this feels like me in a lot of ways. i really want to make a case to my doctor to get tested. i really want to know if i am on the right track or if what i feel and think has to do with something else

i finally got diagnosed a few years ago, at 46. had several big burnouts, and for some of them, i don't think i ever fully recovered. there's skills i've completely lost. i was ready to enter art school, now i can barely draw stick men. i crashed out of university because i could barely read or write anymore (thank goodness that came back). i used to design and make my own clothes, now my mind just locks up if i try to do so. i really hope that i can avoid future burnouts like that, now that i know that i'm autistic. because losing my skills like that is one of the worst experiences i've ever gone through. and i really don't want to repeat that.

I can pinpoint several times when things got so bad I burned out. I didn't realize it was an autism thing. Thank you so much for talking about this. I don't remember my childhood due to too much trauma so I don't know if it happened that far back but I remember my last semester in college the first time around. At the end it was so bad I couldn't spell simple 4 letter words. Another major burn out was my first semester teaching college classes. I couldn't find my words or remember how to do simple math problems when asked by a student. It was embarrassing. I had been thrown into the deep end with no instructions. It was sink or swim. I didn't have a name for it but it makes much more sense now!!

I loved when you said "other people don't have my brain. They dont know what's good for me". I'm 41 years old just coming to understand that I'm autistic, and I've been burnt out most of my life. My recent burnout has been ongoing for 3 years now, but even saying that it's hard to place a line on when I haven't been burnt out.

Ive been experience burnout since about 2012. It took till 2016 for me to completely break. I have been trying to recover ever since. From 2017 till now I have been in a role that has caused me immense distress, stress and overwhelm. Since the start of 2023 I have hit complete brokeness again. I am barely functioning. No one understands including me. Since recently watching videos like yours over the past month I am really relating to the content and it makes me feel validated. Thank you for sharing.

I was recently diagnosed at 48, but realising I have burt out several times, when I totally disassociated. Everything just got too much.

Thank you for sharing this. I'm in my 40s and self diagnosed as of this year - I've been trying to untangle myself from a series of unfortunate events that have been keeping me burnt out for the last 15 years. Without knowing I was autistic, I found my way to *most* of the things you mentioned for trying to manage burnout, but most particularly understanding *why* I burn out the way I do and prioritising my sensory needs has been new with discovering my autism. Your experience is so relatable and validating.

I've had major burnouts two times and two times I managed to pull back before I went into full burnout. Each time it's been worse. Everytime it has been work related. I simply don't handle to have extra responsibilities and having to make extra decisions well at all, while my work skills unfortunately are in areas where you can't avoid people, noises, and other strong sensory stimulants. On top of that I also have ADHD, which means I have a tendency to act extroverted while I absolutely need to not be; I cause a lot of overstimulation myself and the more overstimulated I get the worse my extrovert behavior gets; higher brain functions allowing me to control my own behavior are the first to go. This also means that my outward behavior appears to be relatively neuro-typical to people who don't know how to recognize autistic traits. It didn't make it any better that I only got my diagnosis in 2017 at 39. Each time I burned out, or got close but managed to see it and escape, I had to stop doing the particular line of work I was in for good. I couldn't return. Doing so put me in a state where I quickly (hours) jumped straight to the symptoms of the burnout level I had when I left, but getting away from it would clear the symptoms relatively quickly (couple of days rest.) So I kept jumping professions. April 2018. I had a massive breakdown. I couldn't stop crying. I couldn't face going to work. I was put on sick leave for mental breakdown. I had a hard time leaving my home even for groceries. It got long term. I'm lucky to live in a nation that has welfare that covers that. I've read about how repeated autistic burnout can cause a sort of brain damage; permanent loss of functionality. It seems this happened to me. This last time broke me. I can no longer face going to work, because work is responsibility; responsibilities are the most exhausting thing in the world to me and I have enough on my own. My brain threatens shutdown now making any sort of responsibility commitment at that level. I am so lucky I were believed. I got put on disability not two years ago and I'm even luckier that I live somewhere where we have a level of welfare that means I can manage. I would have liked to function, to work, to be successful and I tried for 20 years! I refused to back down, to become a liability, not to be able to pull my weight, refused to accept there was a problem for the longest time. I just tried to adapt, to find ways around the issues, forced myself to function even when all of me internally screamed to stop .. and all it did was break me. I have nightmares about going to work or school.. even though the dream is just a regular day it feels like a flashback to a horror. (So, yes, I seem to have managed to get a sort of autistic PTSD from going to work and forcing myself beyond what I should have. I mean.. to me that feels like sort of the ultimate low.. getting PTSD from normal school and normal work.) I _was_ very good at forcing myself, far beyond the scope of most autistic people. Can't do it anymore. It is like a sort of whiplash damage to the mind; being able to force myself through things was replaced by my executive issues reaching a level where I have a hard time getting anything done. I got better from my breakdown for two years. Then I stopped improving. My higher functions are mostly back, but it takes far less to have higher functions start buggering off now.

Im glad you got out of it. Autistic burnout, regression, and plain relearning overlap so it is really difficult to gauge my own capacity. I feel like it is constantly in flux but I feel “energy” returning.

Hi Lyric, been following you on other platforms for a while but somehow missed this video til today... I'm SO GRATEFUL for you talking about this because I'm currently about two years into a burnout right now, and on top of the fact that I'm also late-diagnosed, and at this point I don't actually carry the legal diagnosis due to concerns about how the world treats us, I feel really guilty about the persistence of this burnout because everyone ELSE seems to pull out of their burnout in SO MUCH LESS TIME than me. It's so validating to hear that someone else out there needs more time to bounce back. I felt so seen I started crying about 9 minutes in. Thank you so much for sharing this vulnerable state, I'm so grateful I feel like I can't even adequately express the depth of my gratitude 💜

Thank you Lyric, and so many others in the comments, for sharing your experiences. I’m pretty sure I’m several months into my latest autistic burnout, but without support. I don’t know how to bring it up with my mental healthcare providers, having to do the work to educate them and a high likelihood that I will not be understood or believed. It’s really frustrating and sometimes feels hopeless. My formal diagnosis is depression, like so many others here, but my experience is not of depression. Instead the way that mainstream society works doesn’t work for me, I have other needs and other thresholds that need to be respected for me to be well. I’m just coming to understand what that means, let alone help those around me understand and respect it. It’s all a lot of work.

Very late diagnosis and not knowing I was masking or autistic, I mislabeled burnout as lazy, weak and low energy. Then when I was at my most intense I got the the flu and ME/CFS but it happened a the same time as MDD. The treatment for MDD is counter in so many ways to the ND brain as well as the physical needs of ME. So I was constantly pushing activities and therapy that was not helpful, this year with my autism diagnosis has been so helpful, then the ME one fills in more gaps in my self knowledge. Still in burnout, yet making changes to prevent the crashes.

@tomsale5142

3 ай бұрын

Are you any better now diagnosed 43 CFS 26 years but now more fybromyalgia worst is it actually autism burnout

Unbeknownst to me, and through the wisdom of this specific video + others’ shares here, I burned out bad in high school so much so that I “randomly” switched schools my senior year, all just to escape the paradigm and culture of the old high school. I started at a relatively rich, white, Catholic high school and the insidious pressures and expectations to conform and meet the standards-and I’m not talking academic or athletic performance but the social games & dynamics (maybe you all can relate), the speech standards, the behavioral norms, etc. was too much for me to continue with anymore my senior year. When I transferred it was a public school with the entire spectrum of both socioeconomic and ethnic groups, in addition to it being a relatively large school that anonymity was easy obtain. It was a relief for me. It was a liberation. I felt mercy had been granted. I didn’t put two & two together of that being my first autistic burnout experience until watching this video just now. May us all neurodivergent people find our peace, own and be proud of living those paths of peace & harmony that don’t push our nervous systems waaaaaay beyond its boundaries. 🙏

Thank you for sharing your story. My partner is suffering, and we are certain it is autistic burnout, but as you know, it's getting brushed off quite a bit. I've come to KZread to try and gain more knowledge and different perspectives so I can help her through it. I hope you're living life the way you need and you're doing well.

@tomsale5142

3 ай бұрын

Are they getting pain symptoms

So glad this popped up into my feed. I was recently diagnosed with ADHD and have realized just this week, that the depression and lack of motivation, exhaustion, loneliness and more I’ve felt this year is burnout, too. I completely crashed and burned this year. It’s been building up slowly for a while, but it wasn’t until we moved from the USA to Germany that I fell apart. The executive functioning skills and organization it takes to move across the world and learn and new language and culture was too much for me. I get sick when I travel - actually sick. And we moved here to travel! I get migraines and nausea on plane flights. I’ve been prone to headaches my entire life and now I know I have sensory issues and have to protect myself from bright sunlight, changing shadows and light, fluorescent lights, loud environments, crowded places, restrictive clothing and more. I NEVER knew I had sensory issues until a few months ago, but now it makes so much sense! Anyway, I could go on, but I’m having a major lightbulb moment realizing this was burnout for me!! I, too, buried myself in my work, which was my KZread channel. But I was ignoring how badly I was struggling to make it through each day. I also have been very deliberately prioritizing rest because I want to be able to show up for my kids, also. So I’m slowly starting to learn how to change my lifestyle to help my brain. My kids are all neurodivergent, too, so we can do it together. Thank you for helping me to see this. ❤

I've had two burnout episodes; one at school where I was 18 and the other at my last job. Both were similar in the sense that I was trying hard to prove I could fit into the group/team and ended up not being myself, inauthentic and trying too hard to be what others wanted me to be. The first burnout was definitely a lot worse; I locked myself away and barely ever came out of the bedroom, I was in a rage all the time and destroying whatever was in my sight and lost all energy in the process. It was also the first time I felt suicidal and wanted to end my life. What made it even worse was that I was on the wrong medication and everyone at the school turned against me. So my moods were swinging violently every day, I had a lot of stigma with kids using horrible rhetoric and I ended with the attitude of "if you no longer care, why should I?" Only reason I recovered was because I left that shithole of a school and took time at home to recuperate. I still have to be wary that it can happen to my at any time if I put myself under too much pressure and I still don't fully understand how to deal with the resulting pain but the support I've had from friends and family is everything.

@beyaund

Жыл бұрын

Must've been really crazy! Hope you get the best out of life.

Tough part is living with it alone.

Oh my gosh I'm so glad I found you I've never heard another person verbalize this feeling as well as you.

Still recovering from burnout from two years ago

... it's like you're speaking what I'm going through!

I feel you! I hit the wall in my 40's...and started trying to understand my neurodivergence. I always knew I was different, but never really knew, why. It's been over four years...and I'm still burnt out.

@tomsale5142

8 ай бұрын

Do you have chronic pain with your burnout

@Ellington_Industrial_Arts

8 ай бұрын

@@tomsale5142 yep. It presents like Fibromyalgia

@brianmeen2158

7 ай бұрын

Same here. For the longest time I tried to chalk my strange behavior up to me just being very introverted with a touch of anxiety. Deep down I knew there was d sad one thing else going on though. Then at age 38 I burned out hard for the first time and started searching and I discovered I was autistic. Now I am Prove to burnout and look back on a life I’ve basically “acted” my way through. Now I’m puzzled as to what is there in life for folks like us? Most often I just force myself through the day just to do it again the next day

@tomsale5142

7 ай бұрын

@@brianmeen2158 have you managed to ease the physical pain symptoms anyway because for me muscle pain is the worst and of course fatigue but I've always had fatigue from birth albeit less of course do you think it's neurosthenia what we suffer from from the asperger's.and do you have eds?

@tomsale5142

7 ай бұрын

@@Ellington_Industrial_Arts is there anything you have found to put it into remission at least the pain side

Many burnouts and, like you, grateful for the diagnosis that came because of them. I am grateful for you, too 🙏

I tried to ignore all those traumas and stuff and just kinda it would come up and I'd just go, "that sucked, I'll think about that later tho" and then never get back to it because who has the time and it's unpleasant. Having a therapist that is also ND is what is helping me deal with it.

Looking back, I see that it takes me two weeks to burn out, even from work i enjoy. I burnt out in 2000. I kept working for another eighteen months, until i couldn't stand it any more. Then walked out. It took me ten years to recover. And still, i only recently learned about autistic burnout. Then again, i was only diagnosed autistic last November, age 52.

@tomsale5142

3 ай бұрын

With your burnout s do you have pain symptoms

I love that you've addressed burnout in children...this is SO real and often completely overlooked and dismissed.

I'm a 38 year old woman and I was diagnosed with ADHD after my 8 year old son. I'm starting to think I'm actually autistic. I'm moving to my mother in laws property in rural southern Oregon within days and I'm elated cause I'm finally going to be able to just be able to think without endless distractions. I've suffered from burnout since forever. I e ofte. Worried how people can go to college and work and pay rent and do well. I would literally crash and die. Lol my two year old has speech delay and language regression. I think we are all autistic. I'm so excited to live in the woods with one of my favorite people, my mother in law Bonnie. She's a long haired hippie like me. We r going to back, sew, farm and homeschool my son's. I feel like my life is finally starting

I started down the rabbit hole of "Am I Autistic?" in 2021. Had a pretty major meltdown at SD Padres "Out at the Park", a LGBTQ-themed baseball game night. Way WAY too much stimulus, and I was latchkeyed since I didn't drive, couldn't bail out. Anyway, I am in burnout right now, have been fairly constantly since the pandemic. Lost two nice-paying cubicle farm jobs, and had two different lockdown job searches. The process of endless blown interviews and watching my unemployement slowly trickle down to nothing just curled me up in fetal position for quite a while. Been in a new, remote position for about 16 months now, but still in a defensive crouch. It's a software company (surprise, surprise, they hire ND people), and they have had two rounds of layoffs so far this year. Combined with that, I let a couple of major things fall through the cracks at work while going through a 5 session autism assessment process, so I am in fear of losing another job. No surprise on the assessment, 3 from column A, 4 from column B (DSM-5). So, just been viewing myself from a small distance for the past month or so since diagnosed, trying to clock all of the ways I am masking and trying to be far more aware of where my threshold of overwhelm is. I have a dozen musical instruments surrounding me in this office / studio, and they mostly gather dust. Just no impulse in that direction, and its my MAIN direction, despite doing IT stuff for a living. I really hope it comes back, I need my music.

38yo here, current burnout is roughly a year so far. I was "depressed" as a kid- not sure the first time. Great video!

@tomsale5142

10 ай бұрын

So you have any pain with your burnout depression

This is so hard. Also because resting is so hard i i dont know what actually helps me getting energy back.

My autistic burnout led me to seek an autism assessment and to get my ASD diagnosis as well. As a person who has passed 30, the official diagnosis sent me to the path of self-advocacy as well. Toward the end of 2022, I took a big break from my social work job because I felt my workplace can't provide adequate supports to me anymore. Here is my story: I disclosed my diagnosis to my manager. He's very understanding and expressed compassion. However, he wasn't aware that I had tried way too hard to mask in uncomfortable some work situations: especially, when I couldn't go along to pretend it's normal to cooperate with a Karen-like coworker and I needed his help. I set my boundaries by complaining to my manager Karen's bullying behaviors. My manager advised me to avoid escalating the situations and told me it must be a miscommunication(I had lost counts of times I heard from other coworkers that they told the manager Karen was too difficult to work with), because Karen insisted I was the person who was being rude to her. That statement disappointed me greatly. I agree with you it's quite unfortunate that the world is not that friendly and we got burnout more. Anyway, I quit my job and moved into the cooperate world and started another job in customer services. My company uses "Inclusivity" the term a lot in employee trainings. Sadly enough, I haven't come across that many NDs in the work sphere. At the moment, I am reading your book Workplace NeuroDiversity Rising. Thank you so much writing the book. I am going to use your book as a guide book to help navigate in the new workspace.

@ChristoffRevan

4 ай бұрын

We're "divergent" because we're literally an anomaly...a minority. If we were common then it wouldn't be "divergent" from the norm, now would it? Don't ever expect favours from society, all that will do is cause bitterness. Just seek as much aid as you can and be honest, there's more services every year for people like us and in general it's the "best" time to be neurodivergent than it's ever been. Also, I would advise to not look at it like being part of a community...having a disorder doesn't mean you and I are somehow connected or part of a group. We may have some similar experiences, but "divergence" is a spectrum after all. Anyways, not saying this to be mean, it's just I see so many Zoomers and Millennials acting like they need to belong to a group and need a label to feel like they "belong"...but chappie, that's never going to actually help anything at all, at the end of the day it's an empty stopgap and means nothing. Just keep doing what you're doing, you're already doing great by opening up and letting people know how you are, that's all you can do.

This is something I DID NOT KNOW I NEEDED!!!

My burnout has become especially debilitating since I was 21 and the pandemic started. I am now 24 and no matter how much I tried to rest or heal, my burnout kept seemingly getting worse by the day all this time.

@tomsale5142

11 ай бұрын

Do you have pain with it

@JillyMaysHere

11 ай бұрын

@@tomsale5142 I guess mentally I do but not necessarily physical (unless I inexplicably got desensitized to it)

I was diagnosed with Aspergers and ADHD 20 years ago. I've been fatigued at times but managed to keep going... I had my first burnout in 2017.. and I'm still burnt out. Worst part of it is I live in the UK. I didn't know what it was or what was happening to me, National Autistic society an organisation claiming to help autistic people didn't help they just said talk to your Doctor. My doctor is clueless, I was referred to a mental health service who "don't deal with Autism" and discharged me when I questioned the sense behind their reasons for accepting the referral in the first place being that I had to wait 6 months for an appointment. I can't walk properly, I have tremors in both hands, I speak like I have cerebral palsy, I struggle to read things as my eye are slow to focus. I've lost my job. I get night terror every time I sleep to the point im scared to sleep, it's taken 40 mins to type this much.. and my memory is poor I forget what I'm doing as I'm doing it. for the last two weeks Ive had over whelming thoughts of checking out. Is there a way back from burnout in the UK ?

@ChristoffRevan

4 ай бұрын

Chappie that's not autism, you need help for other mental health issues; please NEVER self diagnose, you end up giving yourself wrong diagnosis based on a few similar symptoms, and it doesn't help yourself at all. Don't go to the doctor and tell them you have a diagnosis, tell them your symptoms and go from there... otherwise they'll just do like what you said they did.

I am currently in what I’ve heard called functionally (autistic) burnt out. I’m not really sure I know how to rest while also getting things I need to do done anymore. I am putting all my effort into figuring out what I can and can’t do and how I can get it done with support workers and the rest of the people in my NDIS plan and it’s meant my life is put on hold while I try to figure it all out, I am rather tired and trying to do things how feels naturally to me but no matter how little I do I still feel exhausted too early in the day most of the time and I don’t have a job and put off this year of university to deal with figuring out my ADHD meds and mental health only for me to finally be at what seems like the right dose too realise the burnout is still there.

A lot of what you've said really resonates with me. I've had serious problems my entire life up to two years ago on being assertive, and you know how that goes. Through helpful and supportive online friends, I'm getting better and better at accepting myself as the woman I am (yay, bundled with the autism!! sigh...). The euphoria of feeling validated any way I can despite not being out yet are outweighing my fears and now I can take control of my own life's choices. Thank you for sharing your story! ❤

@FebruaryWashington

6 ай бұрын

Oh and props for putting captions! I'm in a noisy environment, with hearing protection (earmuffs to avoid overwhelming myself), and the accurate subtitles are really helping here.

I'm in my teens and i experienced my first burnout a couple months ago, and what helped me to get out of it and to get out of bed was watching a couple shows i hadn't seen awhile. I ate literally one meal a day for two weeks and didn't talj to anyone, my memories are distorted from that time :(

@braumenheimer9607

8 ай бұрын

Sounds like you're doing a lot better than me. I burned out at 27 after running an anarchist party construct/cult? on and off for two years, and I'm 52 now and have NEVER recovered. Now here 's the burning question I ask of you...WHAT FREAKING TELEVISION SHOW DID YOU WATCH OVER THERE, because I would LOVE TO KNOW!

You perfectly described my entire life, thank you for this. 🌹

@NeurodivergentRebel

Ай бұрын

Sorry you can relate but glad it was helpful

Great video, very well explained. I think I had a lot of burnouts in my life but never thought that they were burnouts. I don't have the diagnose for now, the need to do more tests and such things. Having diagnosed with C-PTSD, depression and anxiety one year ago but nothing really helps to get out of this mess. Was this people pleasing person my whole life and did not care aboit myself. Two years ago I had my coming out as a transwoman and things started to change a bit for a short time, then it got worse. At that time my skills stopped working. I may fit in this autistic, that's why the want to do more diagnose checks. Btw, I'm 56 now from Germany.

I never truly gave thought to if I was autistic or not, but I've been in a burnout since 2021 with seemingly no end in sight. I thought at first it could be a professional burnout from my last job, but apparently those don't last that long. It"s not really depression either because I feel fine as long as I don't have to push myself. The idea of having to find a "normal" job fills me with anxiety. I've never been able to make it work for longer than a few months, and now I think I just can't. The job hunt is even worse in some cases, the interview process just sounds like a way to weed out neurodivergeant folks.

Thanks for this! Waiting for my results after tests this week (at nearly 44), but pretty sure I've been experiencing autistic burnout out of this world adhd for a few years now. Yes, scheduling rest is an understatement! And go you for traveling in your van with your snoring doggies! I did this for quite a bit in my 20s and look fondly.

@tomsale5142

8 ай бұрын

What test is ther for burnout

Thanks, this was great. Burnout, its a subtle yet on going thing. Its momentum can be lessened with an adequate self-care routine.

I just took a mental health leave after coming to an autistic burnout. Guys, I’m so so tired. I don’t know what to do anymore.

Completely relate to this. It's exhausting trying to fit in with people and be a part of a society who expects so many to look and act a particular way. Even having conversations about typical things is an internal fight to keep the extra information from splurging out. Going to places we don't want to go to because we don't have the energy to deal with all of it, because someone else wants us to go and pressures us into doing what they want. I used to be on disability for burnout so that I could stay home and just regulate my emotions and be away from the chaos, but that ended after 4 years, and I chose very harsh chemicals to drown it all out. After detoxing from substances and the people that were draining me energetically, isolation became my happy place. This is how I heal and allow my mind to let go of all the thoughts that have been trapped inside like a cage by all who told me to "SHUT UP" and "STOP TALKING". When the outter world is full of negative chatter, rumors, gossip, and low vibe energy, my stim is to start regurgitating occult knowledge (things we aren't typically taught in school). It's like uncontrollable word vomit. Michael Jackson did it when Oprah asked him negative questions. It's not avoiding the topic, it's trying to keep my energy up where I know my Self, instead of allowing it to get pulled down into someone else's version of who they want me to be to fit their inner narrative, which leaves me feeling lost as if I have no idea who I am anymore.

I have a question in the opposite direction. How does life feels after fully recovered from autistic burnout? What has changed for you (emotions, body, Energy, period, etc .)

@aidagarcia2509

7 ай бұрын

For me it was when I slowly started to enjoy things I haven't enjoyed for a while, and also having the energy to make bigger efforts. For example, I haven't enjoyed drawing for nearly 10 years and now I can do it again. I also haven't been able to work for two years and now finally feel strong enough to look for a job.

great video. I have expereinced burn out beofre, not sure how many times. The worst one was in my teens as it co-insided with puberty and made things even harder

I was diagnosed in middle school and I'm just now having a burnout at 33. I'm reaching the point where i can't deal anymore. For me when I'm burnt out i get unreasonably angry when I'm forced to do the thing thats causing me the burnout. Unfortunately it'sy job, even just thinking of going to work my anxiety kicks in.

❤ 🙏🏽 thank you!!!

I think I might be autistic, which is what led me to watch this in the first place, because I think I am experiecing autistic burnout right now. Noise bothering me more than normal, the inability to tasks I use to find easy, now are impossible to due. I can't focus, I am so much more than normal loosing track of my thoughts and actions. I get burned out so much faster from social interactions at work or home. And its like every little thing in my enviroment is ticking me off or just makes me so uncomfortable. I am way more sensative to how I precieve other people are acting towards me, facial expressions, voical tone, body language, I am judging it all so much more than normal and that is affecting me too. I have way anxiety as well, around work and expectations people have for me at my work place. I leave work mental and phsyically exhausted after my shift and could pass out if I allowed myself too. Talking about anxiety, i have multiple alarms to make sure I wake up early enough to eat something and get to work on time as well. And just last night I was barely able to sleep because I kept waking up every hour for no reason, but this horrible anxious feeling in my chest for fear I was going to be late for work... I don't know honestly how much longer I can do this. I enjoy my job for the most part, and its close to home, but this anxiety and burnout is slowly destorying my health and wellbeing...

@clare_jordin

Ай бұрын

This is exactly what I’m going through and my doctor and therapist said I’m possibly on the spectrum. The anxiety, noise sensitivity and lack of proper sleep is so annoying

Thanks very much 🙏

Taking care of my autistic brain... Thats a great idea! I never thought of it that way.

Lyric - this hit home for me - thankyou! (Btw I couldn’t help notice the 3? moles? on your right arm - have you had a dermatologist look at them?

I’ve been burned out for… 5 years now? This is my final push to go for a diagnosis. I’m 37. In hindsight I’ve burned out often in my 20’s and earlier but I did manage to recover relatively quickly. Now? I don’t feel like it’s ever going to get better 😢 This is hell

@tomsale5142

8 ай бұрын

What are your symptoms ime the same with fybromyalgia

One Big Burnout after somehow powering through college. I always say I couldn't make art or read a book for 8 years. I've had some shorter periods of burnout that were less intense, and not as well-defined with clear beginning and end points, nothing like that big one though.

So burned out. Work just isn't a priority right now for me (though my head screams at me about it.) I'm trying to figure how what direction to take now given that I seem to burn out like clock-work every three years or so. A diagnosis on RA on top of all this really makes it hard to want to keep trying.

@ScarryGargoyle

6 ай бұрын

Me too

I am in a crisis point and that's exactly how i discovered I was autistic. I'm 45. 🙈 I feel like nothing I do is helping me. I feel so frustrated and hopeless. For now, i have learned ways to deal with living while in burnout.

Oof, I’m only in the beginning of this video but it already hit me like a ton of bricks. I’ve been questioning if what I’m experiencing is autistic burnout (not diagnosed, just suspecting) but Im constantly doubting my own experience and just imposter syndroming all over the place. When you were explaining burnout and how it comes with a loss of skill I thought “oh so that’s not it then, I’ve never hit the wall so bad that I can’t speak or write or do physical things anymore, so obviously it wasn’t burnout” but the way you described coming home after your corporate job is exactly what I’m doing at the moment. Exactly.

I was a top student in my school until 6th grade and then I regressed and barely passed school since then. I just always wanted to go home and sleep. It was too much stimulation. I couldn't handle all the other kids, school work loaf, social dynamics ect.... I just wanted to go to waldorf and do arts and crafts and dance and poetry. I aced my junior year hslighschool biology special interests much lol.

I'm doing my best to stay away from Muggle work, and let my true gifts support me in this material world.

Oh gosh people can be sooooo mean. I've been super scapegoated along the way. Learning about narcissist abuse and scapegoating abuse has helped tons plus special interests and also having at least one strong bond with another neuridivergent soul helps. Sometimes I'm completely isolated but I'm lucky my 9 year old son is literally my soul mate so there's that when I feel alone and scapegoated and also dogs!

I just found out I’m autistic two years ago at 39. I’ve been burned out for years. Working as a nurse early in the pandemic didn’t help my burnout for sure.

@tomsale5142

8 ай бұрын

Do you have pain with it

@13fyrefli

8 ай бұрын

@@tomsale5142yeah.

Damn.. I just started mine back in June, I don’t want it to last this long I don’t wanna have Es in all my classes forever

Yes, I think as an aspie and on the spectrum, that as of right now, I'm going through burnout. I've been in a unit [or the you-know-what bin] once before this as well. I'm not sure how to recover or how long it'll take, but so much of what you described about masking and the sensory issues sounds like me.

I’ve been in Autistic Burnout for 2+ years, still in it and not sure how to get out successfully. Feels like I’ve tried everything.

Thanks for this, very relatable... I'm 41 now and probably been in and out of burnout (mostly in) since teen years. How do you get out of burnout when you have kids and need to earn a living? I feel like I need 8 hours a day to recover from a few hours of "normal life" bit that 8 hours just isn't there 😢

My tigger was when last year in 7th grade when I had all these projects piled on me at the very last 2 weeks before summer

thank you 🤍🫂

@NeurodivergentRebel

Ай бұрын

You’re welcome 😊

Im diagnosed with aspergers and schizophrenia. My delusions make me stressed which causes burnout. Same with talking to my parents on the phone. Socialising is better though,so at least i have that.

@tomsale5142

8 ай бұрын

Didn't no you can have sczophrenia with Asperger's as Asperger's can do those things

@ScarryGargoyle

6 ай бұрын

I am autist, I’ve done a lot of LSD, and other psychedelics. Even before psychedelics, I’ve always had this hyper paranoia and anxiety. Sometimes my delusions get so bad, I sound absolutely crazy too others. It only got worse… after psychedelics and I feel like it’s getting worse and worse. I feel like I’m loosing my self, and I don’t know what to do. I hate doctors, psychiatrists. I think they’re not here for our best interest and I just don’t know what to do.

Thank you for sharing your experiences! We have a theory that our biological mother is autistic as well. But she has only ever been professionally diagnosed with fibromyalgia, depression and anxiety. We wish she would at least CONSIDER the possibility that she has been misdiagnosed because her health is in rapid decline. . .

@tomsale5142

8 ай бұрын

Same as myself but now Asperger's after my son's diagnosis eds to

I don't know if I burnt out for so long ever before but I have had burnout since around when Covid started. I have still not gotten all my enthusiasm for my special interests back. I just don't feel like doing them or do them half heartedly. But it is improving somewhat.

I didn’t Read this all the ways I was at work but most definitely every since been started at the Marriott man autism burn outs are so real as I get older they work wit man my boyfriend Corey be like babe on my Dm that was easy day good for u lord bein in laundry 8 hours talking about a burn out ohh they don’t have stand around any more but love my job 🙃

I've burned out every 3-4 years my entire life. This last time was nearly a year. Lost everything, aneurysm, etc. Whole terrible thing. Didn't consider ASD until recently. In the high middle. Nearly 50 years.

@tomsale5142

10 ай бұрын

Burnout gave you.anurysm

@wesbeuning1733

10 ай бұрын

@@tomsale5142 yes, constant elevated stress every minute for decades most definitely is something that can do so.

An my burn outs com from Of me all use to work out a lot of me having autism win why I stop workin out I use to stay consistent all time but some people in my Dad side of the family kept dying an it mess me up an I have autism to as long wit my autism an burnouts but iam strong all the time have a good night 🙃😇

Im so scared I will never recover and get my full brain capacity back. - even in really good times i struggle with easy things as counting or understanding words or solving problems. At least now i know why. But also i want to dxe because it's been years and i don't know how to cope anymore

I'm almost positive I'm autistic... and I haven't been able to do my greatest passion in something like... 5 or more years? I don't know 100% if I'm autistic but I am looking to get an assessment... it makes sense, describes me very very well... I just don't know what to do to get past it... it's much harder than I'm letting on here... but... I don't know...

Do you have any advice on how to get out of burnout?

I wonder this, is it a austisic burnout our has society's standard became too unrealistic. Example, we make a quarter of value of wage in most cases but demand in so many areas keeps increasing (capitalistic structure). What if the majority of society has become sociopathic because of demand. Thus, people are now being labeled autistic in a very unhealthy society. Let's go with the basis of hierarchy of needs. Every single box of that is corrupted, pay, homes, increased divorce rates (because finances) etc. I could go on for hours. Does the source problem actually come from the individual or the environment that cripples the person. I agree with personal accountability however without a decent structure anyone can fail. How did you differentiate this from being autism Vs an unhealthy environment that tells you your sick? (Open to any response)

@skyrunnerblake1481

9 ай бұрын

I think it's both, though I think autistic folks (and other nd folks) do have inherent differences from neurotypical folks. For one thing, society and capitalism and culture and all of that are directly responsible for the way people are labeled via diagnosis in resources like the DSM. Whether or not an autist is actually diagnosed correctly is influenced by our societal 'values' such as productivity, assimilating, and functioning the same as others without accomodation. If a diagnosis is based on impairment, the impairment is usually defined by what society thinks is bad and what makes people happy and valuable. (See the wordings like 'obssessive interests'-special interests are a neutral trait, but are othered in the wording..) For another, these societal values of placing a persons value on money and productivity (and this whole bizzare concept of everyone needing paying money just to exist) impact everyone negatively. Placing so much value on productivity and encouraging (or requiring) so much time spent working, ends up harming health and well-being for everyone, I agree. I think it's just that autistic folks get hurt first. But nobody ever wants to think that 'this is a problem that could affect me too.' I think? I have noticed with disability stuff a lot if ableism seems to be triggered in the non disabled (or what we consider non-disabled anyway) because they kind of subconsciously don't want to consider the idea that they could be or become disabled, and thus, disability is an individual problem. Perhaps this issue is similar. If you accept the system is hurting people on a grand scale, that it's flawed, then A.) Acknowledging the idea that some people can try just as hard as others and still not have equal opportunity to health, home, or success could mean "I might not have gotten where I am on hard work and determination alone" or B) if financial or health catastrophe or burnout or failure can happen to anyone, "It could happen to me too."

@13fyrefli

9 ай бұрын

I came here to say what SkyrunnerBlake said.

Yep 100% this is me right now

Where is that ball from?

i still don't fully understand burnout. i think i might be in burnout and have been for years, but i don't fully grasp it. to vague to me so far.

Hahaha. I totally heard the pitbull and was about to stop watching before you mentioned it 😂 I wasnt sure if it was a dog or a human but it was distrubing...

Your literally me in a different body 😂😂❤

OH MY GOD I WANT THE BALL

@Sncex

7 ай бұрын

WHERE DO I GET? apologise.... :)

Oof this is me now, it's been about 8 years of a downward spiral. I spend most of the day in bed at the moment. I also have hEDS and can't find where that ends and emotional burnout begins. I know that the bazillions of toxic relationships and friendships have taken their toll. The first 25 years of my life I experienced all of the abuse varieties growing up as an only child with two Narcissistic parents - one sadistic and violent who SA me as a baby and child. I also experience a whole lot of unrelated traumas growing up. I have to let go of my current friend group as they aren't good for me since I have stopped drinking and doing drugs with them.. But, without my family I will be alone.. which is weirdly ok but also scarey.. I have my lil dog anyways :D freaking out that he is now 13, he has been my constant companion and wonderful friend - he was a rescue so he gets it

@13fyrefli

9 ай бұрын

I have hEDS. In fact, I found out I was autistic through my hEDS support group. Someone posted that there is a huge correlation between autism and EDS. Just out of curiosity, I looked into it and it was a huge revelation.

@13fyrefli

9 ай бұрын

Also, I just finished your comment and dang, hang in there.

@Roswell33

9 ай бұрын

@@13fyrefli thank you ❤️ I know it's weird huh! I was diagnosed with hEDS first and somehow landed on Autism later, but I've heard about the correlation - it's wild! Flexi brain Flexi body ha. There are studies that show that we can't process folate and I've started taking methylated folate - which we can process as it's an issue of methylation - and it helps A LOT! We have a build up of the wrong kind and none of the right kind. Hope that's helpful if you didn't know. All the best :)

@13fyrefli

9 ай бұрын

@@Roswell33 wow I never heard about that, I’ll have to read up on it. Any little thing that can help my poor body. Thank you!

As someone who has both ADHD and autism spectrum, I implore everyone on here who has self-diagnosed to actually go see someone and get a diagnosis. That is typically going to be a psychologist, as most of them are able to administer psych tests There many types are neurodivergent conditions, not just autism, but ADHD, and a host of others. You won't be able to get the right treatment or accommodations in school or at work until you know what you have.

@ShadoeLandman

9 ай бұрын

I doubt that I would ever get accommodations for work, and if I did, other people would hate me and make fun of me like the Autistic guy who worked here and was harassed into quitting. I don’t even know if there are accommodations where I live. Plus my dad would throw a FIT, and I can’t handle that. And in some countries, being diagnosed means losing some of your rights like being able to drive. And it’s near impossible for a woman to get diagnosed, and it’s expensive.

OMG are we like twin souls??

@NeurodivergentRebel

5 ай бұрын

Maybe both NeuroDivergent? 😇

I gave you a thumbs up and I would watch but... autistic burnout is just too distressing a topic for me. They are wicked hard.

@NeurodivergentRebel

4 ай бұрын

Thanks for the support

🫶🏾🤗

sorry who is snoring in the background?

Then I feel like an idiot because I'll listen to Matt Walsh and he will say the rudest things then I'll buy into it. He posted something about ADHD then invalidated a fathers feelings because his daughter struggled with ADHD saying the father is too emotional now I'm trying to figure out how to block Matt Walsh and all the other idiots on youtube I can't stand. lol! It's frusterating and like you said no one but you knows your own brain. I subcribed I love your channel.

I did not know until 50s, but had at least 4 major burn-outs. Educational and job skills were compromised each time and not regained in the same areas again. One was ongoing for years because I could not change the situation, and I don't think I'm fully recovered from the most recent one.

My boyfriend Corey AkA (souljer_ ways told me to tighten up but burnouts is real yess most definitely 😅😇