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When a person says to you ''my exes are crazy'', RUN! It's the only thing you have to know!!!!!

@zaidaorozco4344

Ай бұрын

Wow true. My ex said that about his daughters mom. Together 15 years I knew him 30 since childhood, good friends. He eventually made me look bad a lot and like the crazy one while he was the good guy

@casperinsight3524

Ай бұрын

YUP! Blame shaming others absent of any accountability ⚠️

I've been playing it safe and enjoying my own company. No one else has ever treated me half as well. After a lifetime of various types of toxicology, I deserve this peace.

I spent 51/2 years with one, I left and have never been stressed since. This video is dead on. Thank you for this.

@clareelizabeth

Ай бұрын

20 years. My god how my life changed

My ex-husband always told me I was “too sensitive” and always made a list of the things that he did for me, including “rescuing “me from my life before him. I should have recognized his narcissism and run like heck. His whole family is constituted of narcissists.

A red flag I only realised belatedly. Being able to tell half truths so easily - the response you get neither denies nor confirms anything. Also, saying things during the breakup which ultimately still makes them look like the nice person and with all the sweet nothings, leaving you wondering throughout the relationship, where do the lies begin and the truth ends.

@casperinsight3524

Ай бұрын

Eventually you get to the point when you know you're only gettting bits & pieces and no longer question nor care about what he's not telling you 🙄 they always control the narrative and it's always peppered with truths just not the WHOLE truth.

I met this guy who talked a lot, which I found nice at the beginning because I’m super shy, but I quickly realised he only talked about himself. And the story of his life was that he was always the victim. He craved constant admiration, he had this very important job caring for severely sick people but this one time when visiting him I got really sick and eventho he cared for me the way he looked at me while doing it made me feel super uncomfortable, it was just a cold stare. And yeah he constantly used me, even tho it took me a really long time to realise it. And leaving him was not easy.

@Sixthscentshealingcenter

Ай бұрын

Yup talking nonstop about self, never being available, never accepting an invitation if it is my idea

@casperinsight3524

Ай бұрын

​@@Sixthscentshealingcenter They even self babble through whatever you're watching on TV constantly comparing themselves or competing for your complete attention 🙄 And when you try to say something relative they Ssshhhh you 🤐 you're not allowed to talk 🤨

Thank you for this. It confirmed exactly the relationship I just avoided/ended last week, and couldn’t put my finger on why. Thank you

My most recent ex (we just broke up Valentine's Day, 2024) has ALL OF THESE QUALITIES, except for the first one. 8 1/2 yrs of dealing with this, I finally said "enough is enough". He was abusive. I seem to attract abusive men, for some reason. He's not the first narcissist I dated and got my soul ripped out!!! But it's ok...life goes on. Thank u very much for this video. ❤❤❤

Mat, I had zero awareness of “narcissistic abuse” and gaslighting” until I was well on the other side of a long and toxic relationship. As a way of healing that trauma, I went in search of what healthy relationships looked like, and more importantly from a lens of what was I bringing to the proverbial table that kept landing me in relationships that felt so bad. Interestingly enough, what I found were videos from you and a few others who introduced me to this world and helped me realize that I wasn’t broken, unloveable, nor was I downright crazy… Two of the top red flags I am leading with? 1. Telling me my thoughts and memories are skewed, which led to me doubting my own intuition. 2. Someone who dismisses me or tries to tear me down when I share how I’m feeling. Thank you for the work you do! It was truly life changing for me. 💖

Wow wow you are so right on everything you say

@CharleneMundey-lu2dt

Ай бұрын

He is right about everything about everything

You’re the best!! I hate that I get a comment that I’m too emotional instead of accepting my emotions or just hug me.. i that I just need to be understood

Steer away from angry escalated display,

I spent 12 years with one of these guys before I left. We had children together which made it very difficult to leave but I don’t regret it.

@user-up9pm4ju9i

Ай бұрын

Aww bless 😔… mine’s gna be 12 yrs in May… and for the last 2/3 yrs this has been happening n me tryna stay normal as I cud obviously with his behaviour.. but I figured it out months ago n jus recently more facts unraveled including cheating (he thinks i Dnt kno) we always kno but we try to ignore these signs for the sake of kids family etc let’s see wot nx few weeks bring..!!

This is the best description I have heard yet. I love the examples because it describes it more clearly. I also think another trait would be a sense of entitlement, right?

Last relationship had them all. After 10 months I walked away, should’ve walked away at 4 months.

I find movies are one of the biggest culprit in making us gravitate toward narcissistic relationships. Also Tv Shows. Mr Big nuff said!

As always Matt, you are amazing and thank you for your time and guidance on how to successfully flirt with and how to choose the right men to date. I was recently entertaining a narcissist for about 8 days. He started off strong talking about his last ex, and how he's such a great guy and can't understand why he keeps getting left. Then went into love bombing about he can see himself with me, and didn't want to get into certain parts of his past because he feared I'd leave him. He would always tell me how beautiful I am then ask what about him... He was basically 8 for 8. It was probably a no no on my part but I sent him an article on 7-12 traits of men who are really unfulfilled in their life... and wouldn't you know it, he ended things with me *girlish giggle* I keep thanking God it ended, and that I'm not jaded to meet my true person, which I feel is very soon.

Another early sign is bragging non-stop!! The temper tantrums are outrageous. They are 4 year old toddlers in an adult body. Horrible, evil people. I've had 2 of them since I became a Widow, the second one was also a sociopath. The 4 stages are : Lovebombing, Devaluation, Discard, Hoovering. Repeat.

Wish I knew this before I got married… thank you for sharing these absolutely right on pointers.

A really great review of narcissism and its telltale signs. We all have a little bit , for it is on a spectrum. But when you get to the higher levels, it is chronic and seldom changes and there is no known treatment ?? They are emotionally limited and toxic for a heart centered person --and psychology has only begun to understand its importance and prevalence in the past 20 yrs. or so. Thank-you Mat!

My ex would say, "What's in it for me?" t get out of going anywhere I wanted to go especially if it meant going to visit my family.

Thank you so much! I ve just broke up with a guy like this last week after 1,5 year. Feeling unhappy and unsecure, and run down. But I couldn’t really put together what and why just happened those things, why I felt what I felt. I was so confused and douting myself as well. Now I have found 7/8 points in him, in his behavoiur from these, and finally got the picture together, got to understand everything! I am soooo glad for this video, give me not only understanding but peacfullnes, and courage to go and find the real man of my life. Thank you Mat from my bottom of my heart! ❤

Smiles! My ex had most of these flags, he was always playing the victim in every story, trying to gain pity/sympathy from me or everyone else

Great Video Mat! Spot on! 🙂

Well said 👌🏼

Good one. Thanks!

Amazing the way you're talking about this... like a friend. 👍🏽💕

Absolutely you said it on point omg thanks Mat🙏🤗💃🏻💃🏻💃🏻

Great examples, Mat!

Omg,thank you soo much, honest and transparent advice.

This is one of your best videos! So informative.

This was very well done on narcissism. I found this difficult to recognize in a family member, as I never though they would treat another family member like that. Well they did. Manipulation, lying, can't understand "No", constant need for building of ego that they are a great guy, father, grandfather etc. Also the repatterning advice is very good. If they can't work on something that you've asked them to which is important to the relationship, then they either aren't ready to deal with that issue or they don't want a relationship enough to do the work on themselves. Run quickly!

Good video thank you 😊

As someone already mentioned, the bragging is off the scale! My personal favourite is not allowing you to get above your station. I received a compliment on my nails when we went, it was Christmas and they were extra special. He has to compliment her back before I had a chance to accept it. Just let me receive what is mine, and then I’ll say something nice in return. You don’t need to jump in all the time

Great video, Mat! Gonna send this to the Narc I know 😁

I wish I had known this 4 years ago! But now I know what to look out for. Thank you!

Spot on!

You described the traits of a narcissist so well. I experienced all of these with my ex husband and it opened my eyes wide open.

Awwww Matthew were you thinking of me when you made this video.. Thank you. As someone who has been raised by a narcissist father, male siblings went the same way and then ran straight into the arms of a narcissist then proceeded to attract 2 more narcissist relationships. I have been all but done because of the overwhelming fear that any and all men I attract will be a narcissist...😊

My ex partner accused me of empty fridge😂 according to his opinion, that task was my total responsibility (never agreed something like that) 🤣🤣🤣

I was with someone that said he felt ...... because I did ..... but the thing is he had no proof, it was just a deflection from his bad behaviour. Im a self reflective person but that was unwarranted

For me as a Swede, the word quality translated to Swedish means something good. If you say this person has quality, it means something real good, so that goes automaticly to wanting me to say that a narcissist has no quality. Therefore I would prefer to talk about the narcissist and his characteristics, which certainly are not good. WhatsApp pod casts opened up my eyes after a 13 1/5 years relation with a narcissist and leave him. 1 1/2 year to heal myself and today I am in a great relation with a normal, terrific guy ❤ and we got engaged New Years Eve. Thank's for all your support, Mat.

First red flags I saw were lying and talking down complete strangers for being fat, saying he hated fat people with the most disgusting tone. Other one was putting on a weirdly nice demeanor around my friend - extremely performative Reminded me of my bit to giver.

Our very first phone conversation (we met online dating site) ~ he talked about himself for the ENTIRE FIRST HOUR. No effort to get to know me at all . Just a preliminary warning sign. But i excused it and waiting for it to change. Which it never did. The rest only got worse. Finally the RED FLAGS mounted up and up until the END. Which i pulled the plug after continuous abuse. And he was NEVER to blame for anything that went wrong. ! Aaaaack !!! i learned about "COVERT narcissists" after that..... !

Hello Mat, I love watching your relationship advice videos, I used to know a narcisstic North Indian guy in Singapore before marrying my husband at the age of 34, the toxic guy ended things with me after 5 months.

Good video, Mat! A warning to me: Silent treatment. Nope.

I make sure I honor my feelings. I don't listen to narcsisist. I am tired of their games.

A man actually laughed at me when I told him no and that I had respect for myself I walked away and that was the end of dating that person

I wish if this video existed when I was dating my ex, he definitely checks all these boxes.

This was totally my ex! 20 years later, I finally figured it out!

My stepmother is one of those. She's straight up evil at home but in public she's so nice to everyone lol. Totally different person. She yells all the time and none of us say anything back then she'll tell us we have snake tongues when we don't even open our mouths at her lol

Spot on.... i married one, already knowing this but it wasnt consistent behaviour until the end of our marriage... now were divorced he still tries to control me. Omg ive pointed his behaviour out to help him and our kids, however according to him its obviously all my fault! 🙄

Road rage Can’t apologize. Find faults in you then discard you. Enjoy hurting you. Silent treatment. You can’t depend on them to do what they agree to. They are extremely selfish. They don’t have introspection They don’t have empathy. They don’t understand how to negotiate They want their way always. Are more immature than their chronological age. I could go on and on. I need to take a break.

lack of empathy...

All of them ... my x was all of thm ... horrible. .hate to be him

Or they tell you what you should have said!

All this is why I can’t date right now. Still recovering from 20+ years of this. In a period of cynicism I guess.

Mixed signals! So stupid wasting my time!

Can a narcissist be a nice person.

9. What they say they'll do and what they actually do you'll soon see they are ALL talk with no follow through 🙄

Definitely. Was with a man narcissist. Traits. Gas lighting.

This is an extremely important & educational video. Many thanks, Mat 🩵