Oops... the internet went out. 😏

@shashichaudhary9308

2 жыл бұрын

Jonathan, but if suppose there is dysfunctionality where the guy is only sharing about his problems and not being inquisitive about you and your problems...what can I say to him? Any ideas on that? Because I will like to point that out and then move on if he continues his pattern.

@helgacobian1915

2 жыл бұрын

Oops...will it have a part 2?

@cherylweis1819

2 жыл бұрын

Trrully. Precious. Us.

@shashichaudhary9308

2 жыл бұрын

@@sherryj738 Thank you. Am not contacting anymore and focusing on my life.

Last guy- all five signs. I’m disgusted with myself, but I learned my lesson. I finally told him off. Proud of myself now.

Agreed finding an enlightened and a stable guy without alot of baggage that knows how to have a healthy relationship is like finding a needle in a haystack!

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Likewise for us men too...

@coffeelover5780

2 жыл бұрын

They don't exist

@ohdear2275

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay You're right, Jonathan.

@suzannedawson4120

2 жыл бұрын

But but…..Sherry, the older any of us get, the more baggage we ALL have! Not sure how one can expect someone with no baggage if we’re carrying around our own. I really believe that it’s how we carry it that matters. 💋

@ohdear2275

2 жыл бұрын

@@suzannedawson4120 Yes. I love the way you put that. I have a lot of baggage, myself. However, I've processed as much as possible, forgiven self and others as well as I can, I've done and am still working on personal development and my own communication and emotional maturity. I live in the present with hope for the future. For anyone who's feeling hopeless about finding a partner, I'd suggest taking a breather, spending that time reading some of the books Jonathon recommends, looking within, and focusing on one's own personal development. It's possible to be content with oneself. It might be our greatest achievement, to learn how to love ourselves and to be content alone. When we do, we're at peace and maybe even happy. At that point, I believe we're in the best position to find a partner who's like minded.

[4:23] changes in depth of conversation / withdrawal [6:20] emotional one-sided conversations [7:30] noninviting to personal life / no long periods spent together [9:13] long response time [10:30] no progression in levels of commitment

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you...

@amyjames1273

2 жыл бұрын

#1-4 = there were no problems there (which explains why #5 left me confused)

@Ohkeh640

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks heaps

@jamest681

Ай бұрын

How about number 6. He's married.

Or they just say “good morning “ and that’s it for a day lol. Most guys actually are honest about what they want. Or they hint you. We are just in denial mode many times

Lol the "how's your day" point that you made is so true. I even catch myself using it a lot when I feel stuck in finding new questions to ask a man.

Great Summary!! I was dating a guy a few years ago and he was in my car, along for the ride to get a minor check up on my car. On the way out, I said..oh hey one of my houses that I rent out is right down the road; would you like to drive by and see it? He said "no". I did not sleep with him ever and only went out with him a few times afterwards. That was a Huge Red Flag to me that he really didn't want to know more about me, or share in my happiness or achievements. My college diplomas are in my bookcase (not open just closed), and he pulled them out and I could actually see a look of scorn or disappointment or I do not know what when he saw my Master's Degree in Science. I could actually see his shoulders deflate. That was after he had perused my two bachelor's degrees. Maybe it was envy or jealousy I'm not sure but I WAS Sure he was not the guy for me. I need a partner to be happy for my success and achievements, not competitive or resentful.

@kdphotos4691

2 жыл бұрын

You dodged a bullet. He would have done everything to drag you down if you'd stuck around.

@shupikayimahwahwa4524

2 жыл бұрын

True

@drmachinewerke1

2 жыл бұрын

Men do not care about your money. We only care if you are good mother material. Your money means nothing to us. If a guy is interested in your financial position . Kick him to the curb.

@gigi9301

2 жыл бұрын

@@drmachinewerke1 Well, that's confusing. I often hear guys say they don't want a female gold-digger, and you say guys don't care about my financial position. Someone has to care about finances and paying the bills. Ideally, it would be some sort of balance, and certainly couldn't be 50/50 in all cases. While I am nurturing/caring, and trim, fit, and put-together for my age, I'm 54 ....so I suppose my "grandma potential" would be important to the guy I'm seeing? He's 58 and I am SURE that he doesn't want any more kids/ he already has three adult children ~

@debrafrei4717

Жыл бұрын

@@drmachinewerke1 Good mother material? 😂 Get outta the 1950s. We are partners in life, not your brood mares.

He exhibited all 5 from the beginning. Unfortunately, due to my inexperience in dating, it took me 6 months to see it, plus I was happy to stay in for the sex too in the short term. When I wanted more, he cut me out.

When my first fiance and I broke it off, I was beside myself (literally)...My parish priest said, "you are crying today, of course, your heart feels broken...however, although you cannot see yourself in a better space in the future right now, you will be glad you didn't walk down the aisle thinking the piece of paper will change him...fact is, you would be more heartbroken when you are deeper in time, realizing that he didn't even want to date you, so how can he be in a marriage commitment, where the "date" is day after day. 25 years later, (and almost all of that time in between), no regrets and he was absolutely correct...

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing...

@Ayyeliki

2 жыл бұрын

Hang on to your parish! That’s a good priest! 🙏🏻

I've decided that I am no longer dating. I'm fed up

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Why?

@Beautytrends77

2 жыл бұрын

I feel this!!

@ohdear2275

2 жыл бұрын

I hope you will use this no dating time for your self development and inner work. Read Jonathon's book recommendations.

So true they don’t take yu to their houses they are very secrety

I want a relationship like that. Yes he checked all of these boxes. Thank you

Geez! Definitely touched on all 5. Guess it’s time to put on my running shoes.

“Mike has a new girlfriend” doesn’t mean it’s you.

@RC-eb5hq

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe... often when people speak in third person, means it's not necessarily personal to them and they don't have to own the topic. Like they are observing from the outside and reporting on someone else. BIG difference between saying "Mike has a new girlfriend" (a report about someone else) vs. "I have a new girlfriend". Latter commits the person to behave accordingly. When you are declaring something important to you and feel an emotional connection to it, you are feeling like you want to share it with the world. If a person won a million dollars, she would be much more inclined to announce "I won a million dollars!!" than to say "Susie won a million dollars". When someone is excited about you, they want to show you off, and men want to announce ownership... AS themselves, not as a representative image. So many small distinctions filled with information on where a person is really coming from.

Yeah. All true. Run! It’s very rare to encounter the mature, enlightened man. Once I meet him (and I will! recognize him as I’ve done the work that Jonathon speaks about) I will never let him go. Engage with this type of guy that Jonathon speaks about, you WILL get burned.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Yes!!!

@aurinkobay7118

2 жыл бұрын

That's why you turn the tables and do the same as they treat you.

Jonathan it’s so true! I’ve been thru that. Thanks Jonathan u are like an angels every video u did is so appropriate to this generation n time we live in. God bless Jonathan 🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

WOW! Thank you...

you hit the nail right on the head!

"Hows your day" NEXT

I laugh when you do the I want a relationship... brings to mind 80's teenie bopper. Lol. M

So funny about the “ how’s your day?” I never ask that question.

In a nutshell,he wants to hit it and quit it!

Thank you so much for your advice. I really love your sense of humour 👍👍🌸🌼🌺🌻💐

YES! 🎉 YES! 🎉YES! 🎉 Getting addicted to these videos 💯👌 My standards for dating may as well be that of a 16 year old and NOT a 36 year old (I've barely dated through all these years). Still firmly in touch with the innocence and purity of my heart and mind. Possibly I need this info more than most, as to stay better calibrated to reality. Starting to think what is it going to take to eventually date some day. Have a feeling that's not going to be for some time yet (I still have stuff to get past and through). At least I know what the best books are to make use of. Thinking, I need to take this knowledge on board, too. I need to intentionally date at some point. Only, it can take me a long time to get my head and heart around to things in this world 💯

Love how blunt you are that’s what we need 🤣😂😂

Man, I am so bummed I missed this. 😞 Watched it and it has helped me out much I do not want casual I want the deep connection, all of it, the friends first, learn about eachother,date heavily, and the whole long term monogamous relationship Friends, family and ultimately marriage. Ultimately I want to be someone's first last 💋

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

You are spot on!! All these I had. I would have enjoyed more but it's not happening.

When I see any of these signs I just move on. I used to wait and see what happens then only to get hurt in the end. I have no time for any of this half ass bs guys try to give you!! The last guy that did this to me he just got cut off immediately and you know what it felt good!

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

I understand

Fantastic video. I love that commitment means the same thing in your video example as it does to me. I do like my texts asking how my day is though 😀 and I love the fact you use the word fuc**ing as in stop fu**king around.

I have met one man who has all five. It was a very bad encounter.

You are so right ! But, some women are the same. I'm bad at doing that with men. Not for sex. But , just happy the way things are.😎

Funny to have a video on the reverse....5 Signs She Only Wants to Sleep with You. What I've encountered is men 55 and older really want a relationship whereas women dont want to settle down with one man.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

That would be funny...

@gem1086

2 жыл бұрын

Why is that funny? We are smart! Lol

Question, after six years, thought we were both busy, but you opened my eyes I ask about things to do together always a excuse or a laught how do you address something like this, I've tried but to no success.

Yup bootieCall 💝

Thank you Jonathan, appreciate you 🙏❤😊👍

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome

How about a video that answers the question, ..What are signs that he's pursuing you because he only wants that one thing?

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Can you elaborate? Which thing?

@irinaivanovic9792

Жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay SEX

Second part lol. 'Hope you have a great day, hope you have a great week lol'. I realised he's avoidant, hell his longest relationships were one or one and a half years, in the last one his ex left to return to her home country and parents. Now I'm asking, what was his part in that. Most men on these apps are avoidant and only want fwb. Men over 55 often look like grandpas to me, so I'm stuck not to mention, fucked.

So helpful, thanks

Insightful. Very. Special.

Thank you so much for your very informative video. What you say is so true.

I agree with you but first of all theres no one to ask those questions...so its not only our fault...there should be other side..

I wondered what happened to this livestream. Your internet went out. Annoying but nothing can be done about it. Enjoy the rest of your day

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Yep!!!

Absolutely, Thank you Jonathan.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for listening

I’m glad the comments opened up. Trust me - I’m OUT!

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

I'm out?

@didi5021

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay - sorry, please let me clarify, I’m NOT out of looking for real love. Out of that particular situation before it gets to that point. Lol

Thank you so much, Sir Jonathon. Godbless you as always. Thank you for helping us. 😊👍

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

My pleasure!

@AstroArians

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay Thank you so much, Sir. 😊👍

Jonathan, if you see this. Do you have any talks on how to screen online prospects to weed them out?

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Yes I do, I teach that in my private coaching program... www.jonathonaslay.com/coaching

I was right as this guy I know hardly ever communicate but had tried to court me for a while now seems like he gave up cause I felt something is wrong or missing to even proceed with him

Question - if a guy is showing dysfunctionality and only been sharing about his problems and not being inquisitive about me, my life, my problems, then how to point it out? Instead of learning back, I would like to maybe tell him what's not working and then move on if he doesn't come on board. So what can I say

@testing123.

2 жыл бұрын

I think start by trying to take space In the convo by replying back with personal experiences that relate to theirs without taking away from the appreciation of their vulnerability, and see if they work with what you say or see if they ask for more insight from what you've shared. If they do, maybe its just they're really wrapped up in their issues that it's Spilling into the romantic realm, and vulnerability is a good sign, to me. However, if they negate the fact that you have past experiences they can learn from, then you can start bringing up like, "Hey, I think these are prevalent issues that seem to really affect you right now. Maybe we should take some time off from seeing each other so you can handle those problems." If they push back and say, "no I think we can still do this." That's when you can say, "okay, but for me to be fully into this, I'd like for you to try knowing more about me, as well. I think I can name half your family members (or something you've been talking about) and I'm not you can say the same, which is fine, but I'd like for that to change. Are you sure you're still up for making this work?" Or something of that nature

@shashichaudhary9308

2 жыл бұрын

@@testing123. I really liked this. Thank you. Will try but first till take my space and go within to find my needs and vision for relationship. Why am I letting myself being objectified or settling for crumbs? I love him but then it is ok to love and let go as well. Because ultimately I want someone who will build a relationship and I will take this as a learning because I have grown so much as a person :)

@shashichaudhary9308

2 жыл бұрын

@@sherryj738 Yes am not saying anything now. Just focusing on my life and reading books suggested by Jonathan and other positive things and visualizing myself leading a positive, happy life. If someone wants to join me in my journey, in my vision, that will be most welcome and I will take out time and energy towards that. If not, then no problem. Neither closing my heart nor stopping my life either. :)

Loved the video!

If no comunication for long time no feeling for other sorry

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

That's sad

Precious

Give me an example of what you mean he's leading with his functionality.

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

He's complaining about his life, his ex-wife, his work, his kids, his health...

@lf1666

2 жыл бұрын

His “dysfunctionality”! Not functionality.

Dagnabet. You just disapeared agh

And now you sound EXACTLY like the “I want a relationship” guy only now you bounce around singing “I’m in a relationship, I’m in a relationship!”

Thanks jonathon ❤

Where is number 3 🤔

Last date totally disregarded my needs and wants despite chemistry and attraction, shared intelligence. WTF?

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Men & women do that often...

@sirennem.6890

2 жыл бұрын

Some men, mostly unhealed want relationship but dont know how to keep relationship

@ohdear2275

2 жыл бұрын

He's into himself, not you.

Nice video

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks

It’s best to ask in the beginning so tu don’t waste your time

@cassidy841

Жыл бұрын

No, it’s not real -.- I did this, and some guys they will lie to you. So girls really need to keep their eyes open

Omgosh he's hilarious!

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

How so?

@lisaeve6426

2 жыл бұрын

@@sherryj738 honey child, you need a hug???😥

@lisaeve6426

2 жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay the way you Express yourself about the runnnn!

@lisaeve6426

2 жыл бұрын

@@sherryj738 must have lots of extra time on your hands

@lisaeve6426

2 жыл бұрын

@@sherryj738 I hear that ha

Hello. Yay.

Not even asked to a date. It was “wonder how you look now”. “That’s too much clothes isn’t it?” 🙄👎👎

You have to get to know someone first. Then u conclude whether you like that person. Who wants to get used by member of opposite sex. Men don't want to get used for sex only and disposed of.

@irinaivanovic9792

Жыл бұрын

OMG that made me laugh! "Men don't want to get used for sex only and disposed of." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? LMAO. Men would absolutely LOVE it if women did this all the time with them.

@elainechatham5188

Жыл бұрын

@@irinaivanovic9792 a large majority of guys don't mind that, however the good ones still don't want to be used for sex alone, when perhaps they want a real relationship.

Question... How do I get invited to your live streams?

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Monday, Wednesday at 4pm PST and Friday at 3pm PST

Question everything you said here is my problem..we haven't sex yet but he always communicate every day greetings like if i had eaten, where he is, what he's doing, missing me said goodnight but other than this nothing he tells about his separation. I know sooner or later we would end having sex for both us have been depriving sexual relationship for how many yerars having pains in it. Would i continue the relationship with him? I learned to live him would i leave him.

Please talk about those first 5 dates...i cant go any further...two dates and that's IT...I know I didnt do anything wrong...so why?

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

Why does this happen for you?

Question: I get the good morning texts and hope your day is good. Where should I go from there?

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Do you talk with each other?

@susantc3509

2 жыл бұрын

Yes. But he is a school teacher and has to go soon after.

@susantc3509

2 жыл бұрын

After dating 2 months, he has pulled back. We sat down and talked. He said he is emotionally unavailable. We decide to be friends. But get the morning texts. If I don't elaborate conversation its very stale.

@dorothydavenport7120

2 жыл бұрын

@@susantc3509 He is either mulling over exactly how he feels about where to go from here..or he is simply keeping you on ice as an option. For now leave him to it and live your life. Be polite but not so available. If he wants you ..he will try and work with you..if he doesn't..move on. Good luck.💐

@karen7896

2 жыл бұрын

@@susantc3509 don’t be friends with him. A man who truly wants a relationship with you will not say he just wants to be friends. He’s keeping you around as an option. I’ve been I. This situation before. Leads to heartbreak.

please.. my fella takes me up with family and intimate friends however he has a lady frien he dated after his first divorce that he totally disparage me in several conversations. I do not get this do you?

@marymartin6896

2 жыл бұрын

Question

@JonathonAslay

2 жыл бұрын

Can you give me more info?

Coach men to evolve.., it's not us.. Ladies, buy a toy, lol

What if we have never had sex? How would you know he only want sex?

@JonathonAslay

Жыл бұрын

I never said only...

@patriciaviii

Жыл бұрын

@@JonathonAslay i am asking

@Crystalnicole500

Жыл бұрын

Same question

❤️❤️❤️

Lol me being 31 watching this

@ohdear2275

2 жыл бұрын

Jonathon's advice is aimed at an older audience but much of it applies whatever your age. You might enjoy Matthew Hussey's YT channel. He's geared toward younger women. He's also great.