Want to attract a better guy? Get My Free Training: bit.ly/my-dating-cure-training

Women, if a man confuses u, cause u to overthink, he is going to waste your time. Delete number & move on.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching.

@lanapalij4014

2 жыл бұрын

Good advice! Just went through this with a man I met on a paid dating site. We texted daily , talked, and video chatted. Made plans to vacation together, and move South. Then, he disappears, cuz I missed one video chat! Hah ! I gave up….! Next….!

@canesugar911

2 жыл бұрын

Next thank you.

@myunfilteredtruths3338

2 ай бұрын

BIG FACTS. He does not want titles and labels but yet wants relationship benefits?! RUN!!!! I just wasted nearly 2 years with this type of man.

When words and actions dnt match.... Pay attention!!!!! 💜

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching.

Let go of false hope. Heal childhood wounds. Love yourself. And then, your true soulmate is on the way. Trust yourself! Peace & healing on your journey!✨

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Glad this was useful. : )

@chrisshowering7357

3 ай бұрын

I'm not looking fir anyone else. If I'm honest I don't consider myself attractive. I'm a bit overweight I have pcos so I have hair growing where it shouldn't grow. I just get used time and time again I'm better off permanently single that way I can't get hurt again.

Thank you so much for this! Breadcrumbing coupled with codependency, limerence and/or love addiction is the worst and a recipe for disaster.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Glad this was helpful : )

@lisasweeney8789

2 жыл бұрын

I totally agree and I'm only realizing this now. I got quite friendly with someone through messaging, I really liked him and I foolishly thought he was into me. It was definitely ljmerance on my part. He never ever wanted to phone me but would text all the time, then a few months ago I noticed that any time I messaged him back he would take hours to respond and maybe not bother till the next day. I'm done with this crap after tonight. I think I just got myself into liking something that wasn't even real and I'd say he is a shark at this game. Xx

@nursejen1111

Жыл бұрын

This was me for so many years due to emotional neglect as a child, its taken alot of self reflection and shadow work to begin healing and being able to set healthy boundaries in relationships. I'm still a work in progress but my relationships are far better and I do not suffer like i used to🙏

ONLY INVEST IN MEN BASED ON THEIR INVESTMENT IN YOU Bernardo Mendez 100% thank you. The worst thing about it is the waste of time. They must have very little respect for you for wasting your most valuable resource - your time, this only applies of course if you have been clear about what you want, if you have and they breadcrumb you then they are literally gaslighting you, block 'em!!

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Veronica, thanks for watching. They may not be gaslighting you but if you're not on the same page then it makes a lot of sense to move on from them : )

It all really comes down to self worth and self concept! You will never walk away if you don't have a strong self concept. It took alot of pain and suffering for me to set boundaries and truly love myself but trust me everything changes when you do this.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for watching Jennifer : )

@nursejen1111

Жыл бұрын

@@BernMendez thank you for your informative videos!🙏🏻👍🏻

I was with a guy for 9 months. He asked for exclusivity and it turned into a shit show after 2 months. Exactly like what it’s said in the video. Relational breadcrumb is painful indeed. I felt that I was held by someone and did all those girlfriend duties, but I was no one’s girlfriend - unseen, unheard and no one stood up for me when I needed support. No matter how hard it is, we must walk away from that situation to save ourselves. It’s really unhealthy to our detrimental health. Don’t stay; it will never be better but worse!

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you walked away.

@Olga8888

2 жыл бұрын

That is great you walked away. I've just never heard such thing like "girl friend duties", seriously.

@lanapalij4014

2 жыл бұрын

@@Olga8888 neither have I

@jenninemorel7693

2 жыл бұрын

Note: as a girlfriend or friend you don't have "duties". To God To yourself To your parents To your children To your husband/wife To your job/business/ employment These are the only examples of who or what you are obligated with "duties" to.

@lanapalij4014

2 жыл бұрын

@@jenninemorel7693 Thank you for that! ❤️

When you realize your worth,you catch this behavior in the beginning and have zero tolerance and won’t put up with it. The minute a guy does this I lose interest real quick.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching.

Bern! Thankful to have you as an ally to all women 🙏👏👏👏

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you found value in this.

A dude is breadcrumbin me. I didnt reply back to his message and i actually passed him driving today 😂😂😂😂😂

My first step was to drop lop-sided friendships. I really appreciate this video. Im saving the link.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Glad it helped : )

I love the way you express and explain in this video - you cut through, and what you say makes perfect sense. Greatly appreciated, from all of us who gain clarity from this.

Wow, the way you set this out definitely sets you apart from other coaches out there. Thank you Bern! I've become a fan of your work. 🤗

I love you for seeing and knowing and understanding of every level of hope/wish and disappointment that we feel. It isn't even his fault in my case. I am the one who keeps wishing things were different. It's so hard to stop thinking that way.

@BernMendez

12 күн бұрын

Thank you for your kind words and glad my videos are helping you : )

This was packed with SO MUCH helpful stuff. Thank you so much!!! I've seen many videos on bread-crumbing now but I think this was the absolute best.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

So glad it was helpful, Zoe : )

I am currently separating from my spouse over this. He breadcrumbs on long drives on dates and at the dates until i get upset and he speaks to women when we are out, smiling big and looking them in the eyes, and avoids speaking to me afterwards or before. I told him if he breadcrumbs me one more week, i am done, and he still did it. He even keeps me wondering if we will date again and tells me at the last minute with less than a days notice.

Brilliant video! I was not equipped to identify the signs when this was happening to me due to childhood trauma and mother wounds. It has taken me years to recognize the mistakes I made. Thanks for the video.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome, Julissa.

So helpful!!! Even took notes. Thank you for taking the time to do this.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome, glad this was helpful : )

Thanks so much for your wisdom. Very helpful to know what breadcrumbing is all about. Your info cements the action I would take and follow through a plan that's best for me. I love your videos. Again thank you! 💖

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

So glad it was helpful!

Psychology of breadcrumbs 13 years of dating with no diamond 💎 U Deserve LOVE Not Hanging out to have a friend with benefits without engagement ring

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Hope this was useful, Maggie.

@maggiehaines2203

2 жыл бұрын

@@BernMendez Very Useful Experience Lessons Learned Great Advise Women and Men Appreciate Your LOVE ADVICE ❣️

Im recently going through this and what I figured out is what your saying here. Thank god for people like you. Partial reinforcement going on here ☺️

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Glad I could help.

Brilliant and helpful!! Thank you so much!🙏🏼😊💜

Thanks for all your good information! Much appreciated, since I just recently went through this, with a man I met on a dating site….

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Glad this helped, Lana.

Thank you so much for your advice I was in the third breadcruming situation the one you mentioned is the most painful for about three months. I'm actually proud of myself I had the courage to walked away....still sad and in pain but I did not allow myself to stay in this situation. Thank you so much

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

You are so welcome.

@yrellim

Жыл бұрын

You go girl-you had courage!! Keep it up!

We must also remember... We only get messed about it we allow it!!! If a man is really interested..... I believe they will let u know!!!! What I've heard!!!!! Love your videos!!!!! 💙💙💙Many thanks

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Annemarie, so happy to hear you're finding great value in the videos.

@canesugar911

2 жыл бұрын

Don't blame yourself for another persons behaviour.

Thanks a lot 🙏 for this very helpful information.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

My pleasure, Pradeep.

This is brilliant! Thank you so much 😊.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

You're so welcome!

You are excellent Bernardo!!!

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Thank you, Juliet.

Thank you. I enjoy your lessons Sir!!

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

You’re welcome.

I’m beginning to think that if you have chemistry with someone then he’s bad for you. 😂😂. Is this true?

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

No, it’s only bad if your don’t take it step by step.

@lanapalij4014

2 жыл бұрын

I don’t think so, have had several great relationships that started with Chemistry.

@thaliakate444

2 жыл бұрын

Might it depend on the type/level of chemistry and also the type of early childhood experiences that have created your chemical triggers?

@Lyrielonwind

2 жыл бұрын

@@thaliakate444 I think is about the kind of attachment you developed in childhood with your parents. It could be anxious, avoidant...

@thaliakate444

2 жыл бұрын

@@Lyrielonwind yes so by that logic secure people get really aroused by other secure people?

Great video, thank you Bern❤️

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

You're Welcome, Asia.

I love your insights! Thank you!

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome, Laura, glad you find them useful : )

Excellent…so many nuggets 💕

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you found this useful.

This was very helpful. Thank you

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome.

Super informative info!! Gracias 🙏

@BernMendez

9 күн бұрын

De nada! 😊

Thank you so much for explaining the 3 types of bread crumbing ! I know exactly what I must do know to end my being breadcrumbed.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome.

It’s not lies someone is telling themselves, it’s someone gaslighting them self. People who grew up inside gaslighting are vulnerable to gaslighting themselves. It’s how they kept themselves safe growing up. Vastly different from lies told you ourselves.

Thanks for this. I feel much better now👍

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Glad to hear this.

What an informative video - just need to make sure that you identify and address the signs when in the situation.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Glad you found this useful : )

Very enlightening!

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Happy you liked it, Sharon : )

Damn this is important information thanks for sharing

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

I needed you 5 years ago😂

@BernMendez

10 ай бұрын

Glad you have more insight now.

Thank you, that is valuable! The gambling metaphor is so precise. When I see anything about future gain, I recall a joke I heard from a Treasury guy. "I don't buy futures." :)

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

So happy you found this useful, Olga.

EXCELLENT VIDEO!💜

@BernMendez

7 ай бұрын

Thank you!

we all have to learn this! not only woman, is also for men..

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Yes.

Thank you 🙏🏼

Bernardo im I'm shadding tear 😢because i give all for ❤.. But i need to learn now

@BernMendez

11 ай бұрын

Grateful to hear this is helping you.

He was everything you listed except for the puppies!😂

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Glad you saw this : )

I've been in relationship for 6 years not sure if it's breadcrumbing he doesn't seem to even care he keeps me at distance there no real love or affection I have to make the first move but he will buy me flowers or he is taking me on holiday we go to cinema he says this is how he shows love but there no affection from him heartbreaking is this breadcrumbing 💔Thanks Bern for another great video

@LaPinturaBella

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like a platonic friendship with benefits, not a romantic partnership. You deserve the deep, loving relationship. Jmo.

@BrooklynBaby-1

2 жыл бұрын

Your wasting your time sis, and your eggs are dying 🥚. Run 🏃‍♀️ 💨

@inked6880

2 жыл бұрын

@@BrooklynBaby-1 Yr eggs are dying. Made me laugh. Thanks

@bnb0510

Жыл бұрын

Please get rid of that boy….

@danicaharley6273

Жыл бұрын

Tell him what you need from him, if he values you, he'll be happy to work on things. If not you tell him thanks but it's not enough for you and leave him. Find someone who has your same love needs xx

Is it safe to say that all men fall into one or all of these categories?

Thank you

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome

Very very true.relatiomship start like a Cassino

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

They don't have to : )

Wow. Thanks.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

You're welcome.

Thank you💗

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

You're welcome!

i have a situation that there is a man investing in me but i not feel the same. I do have feelings for another man who is breadcrumbing me :(

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like an opportunity to value yourself a bit more in your actions and figure out ways to connect with more men. Or to give the guy who is investing in you a real chance and see if your feeling can get stronger.

I couldn't even get a damn date! lmfao I was breadcrumbed the entire time.

I wonder why so many people do this And why? Where did they learn this and why do some women/ majority of men play games these days all together lol

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Part of it is human nature, part of it bad habits, part enablement, part mental health issues, it's not just one reason.

No contact guys the best solution.they will drive yoy mad

@BernMendez

2 ай бұрын

Hope this was helpful. : )

Great analogy, the gambling psychology. Win just once in a while and it makes you try harder. Now that abortion is becoming more illegal, casual relationships with breadcrumbing are even more important to weed out unless you want the price of a stud fee from him. If you like him so much and get careless and tell him my lawyer will be in contact with you. I’m so glad I’m old and don’t have to put up with having to treat men like that like you’re their mother. Just think of the love anorexia you would have if you married Mr. Barely Interested. Sounds to me like he’s got another woman who has priority over you anyway.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching and commenting.

12:50 😂 13:14 though 🤯woah

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you found this useful, Christina :)

Yup

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Karla, thanks for watching.

Step 1: Find a guy I'm really into

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Danielle, to the best of your awareness what is the most predominant challenge prevents you from finding a guy you're really into?

I would think the “pre date” breadcrumbing is normal? Lol I don’t expect a man to call/text daily, etc nor would I want to.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

I'm referring in that section to men who effusively share they're about to ask you out and they never do : )

What about a relationship where the guy is taking care of his mother and she is so jealous of our relationship that she abruptly moves him five states away and we are now in a long distance relationship? He had to quit his job, sell his house and leave me behind. It's been 9 months since I have seen him. We still talk multiple times everyday but he will be taking care of his 94 year old mother until she passes away. At one point, before he left he said he would be coming back to get me but now he says he won't have time for me, she is a full time job. He says he just wants to come back here and start a life with me but he can't leave his mother without a caretaker. Even though he has seven other brothers and sisters, she chose him to be her caretaker. So I either leave him or I wait for an unknown amount of time for something that might never happen! What's a girl to do?

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds like your guy isn’t available to be in a relationship at the moment. It’s a difficult decision but you need to meditate on this question. What is the most loving thing you can do for yourself given your needs? Whatever answer you come up with will not be an easy solution but your won’t be with one foot in and one out. You’ll either be fully in or fully out. 🙏

@tushcascorpio7842

Жыл бұрын

I did it. Get on with your life … stop waiting. I waited ten years. Now it’s the house and the dog. I even helped him and his family expected me to do everything because he inherited property. His mom passed and guess what…… he is busy. Invest in a man who invests in you! God bless you.

@sshuteandrew

Жыл бұрын

Never wait around. He chose to take care of his mom and cut you out. That’s all you need to know. Move on and find a man who prioritizes you!!

@danicaharley6273

Жыл бұрын

Why are you making it so easy for him and rewarding him for leaving you. I wouldn't be talking with him constantly throughout the day. Give him a chance to miss you. Speak to him every few days get busier. He shouldn't be your priority anymore

fantastic :) made me laugh..the description of the wonderful man..... lol... brilliant.... invest in those who invest in you :)

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Glad you enjoyed it, Emma.

He's a car stuck in park. Move him out of your driveway and let the shiny new car in.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Yes! : )

@reneehaynes8289

9 ай бұрын

Good one 😂

I have a question about online dating. Why does a man cut connecting with a woman when things were seemingly going great (he called and texted frequently, planned to meet, shared similar values/interests)?

@African.Diaspora.InLondonUK

2 жыл бұрын

He was 'frontin' - he was never really interested in the first place.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

There are many reasons why this happens, often times the initial honeymoon cocktail of hormones fades away and he is faced with the reality of not having the space, mindset or time to move things forward. Other times something happens in his life that takes a much higher priority, work, health or another woman.

@lisasweeney8789

2 жыл бұрын

@@African.Diaspora.InLondonUK What does Frontin mean xx

@CandyQuackenbush911

2 жыл бұрын

He met someone else

@zoew.2253

Жыл бұрын

@@lisasweeney8789faking it/ pretending

@11:46 this gotta be a narc!

Have you been spying on me.

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Haha no ; )

4 VERY LONG YEARS!!!!

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Kathy, glad you've realized this and (hopefully) moved on. : )

Where were you a hundred years ago?.So, so many men and women have drank the cool aid out of Hollywood about romance. Thank you.

This person bread crumbed until I became a non person to myself.

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Glad you realized so you could make a change.

Damn this is so garbage why do people do this

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

There are many reasons, but so long as you can identify it you can avoid it.

@tushcascorpio7842

Жыл бұрын

Narcissistic

I like the casino example. 3 girls from the my area won a lot in a casino then went shopping in London 😅 they ended up banned from the casino 😊 Yes I agree breadcrumbing is breadcrumbing!

@BernMendez

25 күн бұрын

THanks for watching.

The last one sounds like a narcissist

@BernMendez

Жыл бұрын

Indeed :)

Total time wasters !

@BernMendez

2 жыл бұрын

Not if you identify this early on.