162 - Assland
The Patreon is up! Link below! This week Tim broadcasts from the garage at 2 in the morning to talk about Songland, a funny idea he pitched with Mullen that got rejected, and yet another altercation at Swinger's Diner. It's war now.
At 42:46 I cut out a 2 min portion where Tim sings over the Doja Cat Juicy song. It's only available on the RSS feed (Apple podcasts etc). Didn't want to get copyrighted on KZread and get a strike against the channel, but you can still hear that part anywhere you listen to the podcast.
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Пікірлер: 294
"I'm happy where I am. In a garage with the truth". - Tim Dillon
@haideralibd
2 жыл бұрын
1:00:31
@trentjung8035
Жыл бұрын
The fans are requesting Tim Dillon to come back to the garage
@namelesswalaby
Жыл бұрын
Yes Tim please go back to the garage for the love of god
@Anita_Backrub
Жыл бұрын
😂😂😂
@juanayala6057
Жыл бұрын
@@trentjung8035 yessir. There’s no angst anymore. No more hatred.
"Where can I eat late night thats open 24/7??" Tim- "Go to bed"
Just stumbled onto one of the best rants ever- from plotting presidential assassinations at the knickerbocker to barricading yourself in the bathroom bc your kid is trying to knock down the door to steal your back medication, this is one of those Tim rants that epitomizes America it’s best 🇺🇸
Do you keep it juicy?! DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH?!
I love how the Wix ad led to Tim saying that amateur photographers should be thrown in a lake.
@yawnhiccup
3 жыл бұрын
😂
DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH?
I will forever listen to Tim Dillon, you are my internet daddy now
@Alex-sr7xu
2 жыл бұрын
To me, he's a like a guide... a philosopher. Tim is my Socrates.
I would watch Tim Dillon do anything. I would get cable again to watch it. Give the man what he needs to create goddamn it.
@LukeOfEarl77
5 жыл бұрын
I heard he has a pornhub account if you pay for the premium service
@Yodalemos
3 жыл бұрын
I think we need to keep him poor and struggling for our content.
@aculasabacca
3 жыл бұрын
@@Yodalemos I totally agree, but if he ran for president he'd have my vote.
@aculasabacca
3 жыл бұрын
@@LukeOfEarl77 How dare you defile this thread with such an abhorrent post?
@bahaeddinelimam3047
Жыл бұрын
@@aculasabaccahappy with the new episodes?
I'm crushing an Adderall during my shift at my restaurant right now. If everyone was as nice as you Tim.
@UniMatrix_1
10 ай бұрын
You're an American inspiration 🥔🚬
@FRM101
7 ай бұрын
share with the class
@rosswalkman9652
5 ай бұрын
We wish you well……. It’s a real knife fight out there.
@damiens6465
4 ай бұрын
Life in the big city… But you Have the adderal-and that ain’t nothin. Yes or yes?
Tim Dillon is the inspirational speaker this generation needs, but doesn't deserve.
This is my favorite episode ever. I don’t really listen to Tim anymore and I don’t pay for his patreon, but I can come back to this episode any day and laugh my ass off.
@Deezzznutttzzzx
2 жыл бұрын
It’s 10x more funny now ur missing out
The Doja Cat bit is one of the funniest things I heard in a while, this is the guy for end of the world comedy
Tim is my Sunday morning church mass.
@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
Жыл бұрын
Tim is more like my Fox News and I'm one of those old ladies that watches until 1am
@paulfroelich1024
16 күн бұрын
You say that, but I have listened to Tim on the way to church for years.
Tim has the best ads hands down.
@blazedandconfused477
5 жыл бұрын
Tim was inspired by Cumtown's ads.
@trentjung8035
2 жыл бұрын
The only show where the ads are actually entertaining as well LOL
@moriyokiri3229
2 жыл бұрын
Are these people real doctors? Who gives a fuck
Doja cat lyric breakdown....flawless. "written by malfunctioning speech to text". Lol
@mindgames9614
3 жыл бұрын
Time stamp?
@D34D22
2 жыл бұрын
@@mindgames9614 40:11
How does this only have 32k views?!?!? One of the best podcasts of all time
@Johnnylewis42069
3 жыл бұрын
He really blew up in the past half a year. This episode is my favorite I come back and listen often haha
Anyone else coming back to these gems after the Ben break-up and the general slide into Hell?
@MikeOcksmallClips
Жыл бұрын
The show sucks now. Im glad I gave all the episodes archived from 1 to 160
The Songland material had me crying. So funny. Thank you!
@centurionl
3 жыл бұрын
I was driving and almost crashed cuz i couldn't see through my tears
Modonna's dad worked in a tank barrel factory well into the 90s. He worked with my neighbor.
“Kourtney Kardashian...A beagle!”
@SickTroll
2 жыл бұрын
And a
I miss these older episodes, the newer ones are good/ok but his older ones are prophetic and hilarious.
@trentjung8035
2 жыл бұрын
Hungry artists make great content
@deezlesteezle
5 ай бұрын
Tim's definitely not hungry.
Absolutely fucking brilliant start to finish!! I'm in awe of the brilliance. NOBODY is on point like Tim Dillon.
Tim Dillon is the least gay male comic in hollywood
@lordswaggity1213
5 жыл бұрын
TEST WHY ARE MY COMMENTS NOT GOING THROUGH
@lordswaggity1213
5 жыл бұрын
THERE!
@alaskansummertime
5 жыл бұрын
Actually he makes a lot less gay comments than the average Rogan podcast. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I really thought the pants were gonna drop last time the Legion of skanks were on.
@TonsMoreCowbell
5 жыл бұрын
@@alaskansummertime rogan was exhibit a for my comment. The man drinks more cum than water most days.
@deb2583
5 жыл бұрын
@@lordswaggity1213 because you are a capslock addict.
38:05 this has to be a ringtone
No one knows funny LIKE CHRISSY TEIGEN.
@deezlesteezle
5 ай бұрын
WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA
such an underrated episode
Tim went off in this episode more than usual lol 😂
"I don't like Swingers, but I keep going back."
"Many of you need to waste your time, that's all you're gonna do. In fact, your entire life, from birth to death, will be just different chunks of how you waste your time. " - Tim Dillon on photography.
@nighthawk695476
2 жыл бұрын
I recently took up photography as a hobby. I cried laughing this "ad"
Tim Dillon saved my sanity
This is one of the funniest things to come out of the galaxy's snatch.
17:30 How happy am I that I decided to listen to this random old Podcast from Timmy D and stumbled upon one of the greatest comedic bits in the history of podcasting? Very, that’s how.
"Fail because you just suck" - Tim Dillon 2019
“Bring the funny? Bring a gun.”
@deezlesteezle
5 ай бұрын
WAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKAKA
I love his take on Chrissy
I see moving to LA is going well
" nobody feels the sting of leather when they fuck up!" That statement encapsulates 2021
You've earned a new fan!! Keep speaking the truth 😂😂
Tim is still funny but dude he was so hilariously resonating when he didn’t have big money
@MikeOcksmallClips
Жыл бұрын
Yeah I can’t listen to the new episodes they’re literally not good anymore. I still like Tim but he’s just not funny like he was here
@whitecandaceowens
Жыл бұрын
Everyone is funnier when they’re sad and broke
@PRACTICALVELOCITY
Жыл бұрын
factssss
The doja cat bit had me in tears
So funny. You're so right about Soho house too. Got dragged there once in LA and it was overpriced and full of empty narcissists
Somewhere in the multiverse there is a podcast that is co-hosted by Tim Dillon and Eddie Pepitone. Imagine!
@karlstrasen4758
5 жыл бұрын
Glad I'm not the only one who is bouncing back and forth between those two. Eddie, Devan Costa, and Godfrey are doing really great pods right now IMO. Tim is "a demon from hell" tho
@monkeytrousers6180
5 жыл бұрын
They could have a shout off rival meltdown battle.
@mr.hostetter855
5 жыл бұрын
Eddie would just smoke crack and blow him after doing blasts.
you are a fantastic comedian. thank you again brother.
I didnt use to watch the videos but now that I cant I want it.
lay the pipe, buy an estate, simple
@DJPsyfer
3 жыл бұрын
A "STUNNING" Estate.
@housematespodcast6738
3 жыл бұрын
@@DJPsyfer my mistake fellow pig
Opens with “go watch Two Dope Queens” 😂😂😂
Tim this is the only podcast I get excited for during the week ahead of it being released, fucking great!
He's right about how entertainment is regressing 😂
This is peak level podcasting!
You are 100% right. I love America but it's crazy how hard we work yet your neighbor has the same or better than you living off the government.
@livewithmeterandnomeasureb1679
2 жыл бұрын
Not everyone. I got sick at 25 and it took me 10 years to get disabilty and im still fighting them to raise it. My medicine costs 3 to 4 hundred a month. I think people like me with congenital probs should get it. (No matter what actually. You would have to be a millionare to think my m3dical expenses are cheap.) I was too sick to work more than 10 yrs so thsts part of the reason they didnt give me much.
Tim Needs to host a show called race to the bottom which is all about the journey to Assland
discovering Tim Dillon has given my life meaning once again! To continue to sit around and wait for humanity to destroy itself pathetically. At least it's still pretty nice though, we still have food and comfort :)
Top 5 episode
Someone better have downloaded this podcast so when the aliens come they can learn what happened to us in our last days
@colebucket6009
Жыл бұрын
“ u😊fzzfads zit😊st t da lost. 😂🕉️♎️♊️☪️☪️♌️♌️😂❤❤❤❤❤😊 no mv To vc C K skim ,
@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
Жыл бұрын
Got u fam
Tim Dillon is quickly becoming one of my favorite comedians. Brilliant mind. (*Not to blow too much smoke up dudes ass)
"The world is burning." Lmao
Tim is a prophet
Tims cartoon arms make me hungry for easter ham
You... are hilarious. LOL
44:30 Whhaatt? get the fuck out of my office. LMAO
smashing this like button with no regrets
DO YOU KEEP IT JUICY DO YOU EAT THAT LUNCH !
I'm telling my kids this was Joe Rogan.
One of my favorites.
B.Y.O. Omelette? What the hell is a BYO omelette? Bind... your... orphan...? Omelette? So they’re selling orphans you get to tie up. Well I’m not FOR THAT! SORRY. Call me a square.
Working my way back from the beginning. Another great one.
Tim is a perfect mixture of Glenn Beck and Mort Downey Jr.
@PlayNiceFolks
3 жыл бұрын
Glenn Beck.
Bring the funny? Bring a gun!
I know Ben is married, but I want him to marry me if they (heaven forbid) get divorced, I will be dead in a few years and he can have my apartment. It is in Canada and you have to be over 55, but Canada is ok.
the cover art has tim smoking reds and we all know he smokes marbi lights.
Very very good episode. Crazy how some of these old episodes have so few views. Is it an algorithm thing maybe?
"It's one long orgasm, your whole fucking life" lmao true
1:06:05 is dilly's single best bit
@GotstandardsDiamondNedFlanders
Жыл бұрын
You got some nerve showing your face, Diogenes, your language is highly inappropriate, Thou speakest about which Thou knowest NAUGHT! 🧐😝
Get David Ike on!
@tonypino5415
3 жыл бұрын
That would either be amazing or incredibly awkward.
Please tell me Tim Dillon does yelp reviews of swingers.
Hahahahhahhahahhahhahahhahahhahahhahahhahhahah SoHo house yessssssssss!!!! Thank you for coming to Los Angeles Tim.
Tim called Ice Spice 😂😂
God bless you
Stay in your garage with the truth!
Omgggg the songs-thaaank you😄at one point in history, music was considered a sacred gift from God 😬😬😬
one of my fav episodes lol this nigga was on fire
His description of Doja cat’s musical process is laugh out loud brilliant…till I remember I was a hiphop head back in the day and the 90s was so beautiful (musically) and then THIS is what it became☹️ Oh well it ain’t my fault so I’m turning up the volume and poplockin my fat arse to a Pete Rock beat 🍻
Bring back the BEATINGS, bring back the BELT….Not feeling the sting of leather 😂😂. He’s brilliant
LMAO 45:00
Tim, mr Tim, mr Tim Dillon, you beutiful fat dillonater you, All the respects from Romania. You a mean sob, a truthfull one, a funny assland mofo/fofo . We all have soo much to learn from this gut take that you do. I feel that ther's not much spin in your work, and that's always refreshing. Keep It up man, You'll need it to crack the bastards. I'm sure you'll find pleasure in it. Ass. Land. Man that's a trademark.
Tim does not sound like this anymore
Already watched this yet KZread doesn’t believe me
They don’t know who to hate ... 😝
RIP norm
38:26 god i love this fucking bit....
I wanna watch listen
We need to 'yes, and' our way into a sitcom that is literally the Waltons across the street from Euphoria. Just throw the whole spectrum onto my garbage plate and pass the hot sauce.
Love ya Timmy you fab queen slay sis.
I'm the last person that will ever post on this episode
It's actually insane how much funnier Tim was back during the pandemic christ sakes
@jackhanson3333
Ай бұрын
He got increasingly less funny with each house he bought and honestly I can’t blame him
At first he used to make me laugh just seeing it comically and then you see how much truth is behind it and realize this could be the most clever man alive
59:05 Billie Eillish trashing Pt. 2
@centurionl
3 жыл бұрын
Where's part one?
@maquinadeguera
3 жыл бұрын
you're a winner 🏆
“What do you get for being smart? Come on…it’s almost an impediment”
He's right tats look like skin disorders
1:03:08 Does anyone know what episode he's talking about where they talk Corey Feldman's performance???
@ViridianEmpire
3 жыл бұрын
A full fucking year and these lazy pigs couldnt get you a number.
@annamarierutz2931
3 жыл бұрын
On patreon its labeled Archives 68 Many Feathered Bird. It's from October in 2017