I am not a Muslim, but I subscribed to your channel because of the way you explain the values of relationships. My husband and I have been married for thirty years. We get along well with one another. We have had our differences, at times, but God has been good to us. We are from different cultures and languages. Our daughters grew up. One is having marriage challenges. Both of my daughters have adopted a bit of a "feminist" attitude, I believe influenced by friends and society. One daughter asked me how my husband and I make marriage look so easy. I informed her that she wasn't living in reality. That she needed to appreciate her husband more and not be negative. She told me that she has given up on him. That I was too old fashioned. I informed her that she was almost thirty years old. That she had six kids. That no other man would take her seriously. That no other man would be a better father to her children. That she needed to "wake up" and improve her marriage. She looked at me surprised. I apologized for being so direct. That I didn't want to hurt her feelings, but she needed to realize that bad days come, but the good days come back. That if she focused on positivity, she would have more good days.

@NaimaBRobertTV

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much!

@muslimah42

Жыл бұрын

Beautiful comment !!!!

@janinemaldonado6806

Жыл бұрын

@@NaimaBRobertTV thank you for sharing your perspective.

@janinemaldonado6806

Жыл бұрын

@@mufasahm8238 thank you.

@janinemaldonado6806

Жыл бұрын

@@muslimah42 thank you.

If I may add: I work with Families and I give them small Naseehahs. 1. Know your role as per Sunnah and help each other when they are strogglling. 2. Your Home comes first. Not your Mums home, Not your Brothers or Sisters Home. Your home. 3. Your Children are both your Responsibilities. 4. We are all Emotional Beings...dont push buttons that will trigger pain. May Allah swt guide us all.

@ummaliyah6211

Жыл бұрын

More men need #3 and more women need to hear #4. Great advise

@SairaSabir1443AH

Жыл бұрын

Needed

@moholah3745

Жыл бұрын

And as for those who are guilty of an indecency from among your women, call to witnesses against them four (witnesses) from among you; then if they bear witness confine them to the houses until death takes them away or Allah opens some way for them. Quran 4:15

@moholah3745

Жыл бұрын

Narrated Sahl bin Sad Saidi: "Allah's Apostle said "If there is any evil omen in anything, then it is in the woman, the horse and the house." Sahih Bukhari 4:52:111

@3boys1family

Жыл бұрын

Ameen!

1. Managing Expectations 2. Checking your intentions 3. Minding your business 4. Take divorce off the table 5. Stop fantazising about being single 6. Letting go of the fairytale 6. Keep company of good wives and good husbands 7. Communication and compromise 8. Remember the end goal

@nimotalahibintmustopha9523

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this summary 👌

@hafsayahya3888

Жыл бұрын

True

1. Managing expectations. 00:00 2. Correcting intentions. Work as team mates not rivals. 05:00 3. Mind your own business first: are you fulfilling *your* responsibilities? Don't compare with other couples. Be graceful, grateful. We all make mistakes. 06:45 4. Don't raise proposal of divorce so easily especially after children. 10:15 5. Focus on good and be grateful. Control the narrative in your head. 12:00 6. Stop fantasising about being divorced. 14:30 7. Let go of the fairy tale "happily ever after". 19:00 8. Keep company of people positive in their marriages and avoid those with negative attitudes to their spouses. 22:00 9. Communication and compromise 25:30 10. Remember end goal of accountability to God for your trusts and the building of a legacy. 26:00 The single best work I found that teaches one how to be healthy with disappointments and anxieties in life is Hikam Ibn Ata Illah (d. 709/1309). It's a work that has received considerable attention in our Sunni heritage East and West. There is a handsome edition by White Thread Press worth buying. I have no ties to them. I simply benefitted from the book.

@NaimaBRobertTV

Жыл бұрын

JazakAllahu khairan for the time stamps

@SairaSabir1443AH

Жыл бұрын

Thank You

@egordn3

Жыл бұрын

I love this! Thank you. Our biggest issue is that he proclaims to have a right to cheat basing it on the Quran in Surah 4. Right hand posses

@nimotalahibintmustopha9523

Жыл бұрын

Jazaakallaahu khoyran for this

MashaAllah Life is definitely up and down period. Marriage is up and down, our children can be up and down...no one is perfect, Check yourself first. Communication and patience is key.

@ummabdulmuqtadir9458

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

You are very intelligent may Allah bless you and keep our unions intact

I need to watch this every day!

Thank you for sharing this so much! I'm getting married soon and I really felt that was so so helpful!

Jazaki Allah kheer for this Amazing video🤍

Ma Shaa Allah your background looks so comfortable ☺️ excited for the video

Thank you so much for this lecture, it has keys that Ive either pondered or have never consideredand now will going forward Inshallah. May Allah bless you.

I am grateful for your wisdom sister. I appreciate your hardwork, Jazakallahu Khairan from the bottom of my heart. I wish all my brothers and sisters out there could watch this and learn and understand life isn't meant to be easy. We need to learn to live simple so that others may simply live.

I love u sis Allahuma barik laki. May Allah SWT protect you and your family always. Your advice is so on point for me at this time Alhamdolillah x

Jzkallahu kharyan Sister Naima

Jazak Allaah Khairan Sister Naima. This is brilliant. Its going to save a lot of marriages in sha Allaah.

Masha'Allah..great message. Even though,am not married yet

Some good points indeed! and if a person stays and chooses forgiveness and sabr surely they will be rewarded. On the other hand when it comes to matters of deen eg; continuous innovations and prolonged abandonment of Salah after guidence and education a person needs to apply a cut off point and leave.

Mashallah Jzkl khayran sister it is very beneficial lecture.thank you for this.❤️

As salamu alai kum wa rahmatula wa barkatuhu. May Allah s.w.t give you the strength like Samson to this drive of reaching out to sisters all around the globe ameen

On point Sister Naeemah

MashaAllah sister Allah bless you for your good lecture may Allah give you long life Allah barik

great words , much love naima

Amazing video

I am new to ur channel... Sound advice sister well researched and thought provoking x jzk from Luton x ❤️

Mashalkah ye ustazah your adivace are very important keep it up

Thank you

Yes my sister keep it up ❤ from uk England 🇬🇧. Birmingham umar ❤ 💯 💪 🤲🤲🤲

Masha Allah! Sister I really needed this! This message is for me! Insha Allah our marriages will improve when we focus on Allah ❤

Great advice. Wish my ex wife thought the same way as you before she took off and decided to leave. Another thing I would add is don't make decisions when you're angry. More likely than not, they will be decisions you regret drown the track.

Sister, where is the video u talked about at 17:31 „toxic relationships“ i can’t find it. Also, barak allahu feeki for that talk.. ♥️

Allahuma barik ❤️

Thank you so much please do more videos

17:00 thank you 🙏

جزاكي الله خيرا

May Allah arrahman bless all our marriages Aameen aameen yarabbal aalameen

TY

I am a new subscriber and I am glad that I found you!I needed your advice!Thank you for this video!Is true for me if I didn't have children I would divorce but for them I must stay because they are still little and I know they would suffer so I must bear but sometimes is unbearable and I am alone I don't have a family only him!!!If I would be alone I would divorce immediately!And this advice is good if the husband loves his wife and doesn't has hidden interests because if he has and he doesn't reach them like money,citizenship,green card etc he will show her the hell.When he is in peace and has money,work good,earning and everything smooth is ok but if he has any problems me I am guilty for them!For any bad happens I am guilty.Since the begging of the marry was hard nothing went easy and maybe was a sign but I was too young and without experience and I was stupid too not to wake up and I thought love is enough!My bad luck was that I didn't have family to teach me anything.Yarab I pray to Allah to be good for my children because they are innocent.And an advice that I can give to Muslim women here finish your studies and have a good job very well paid,have your own apartment or house only by your name,a car by your name,business to be FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT!is very important not to depend in anyone and take care before you have kids if you are really prepared for it because is very hard job I would say the hardest thing and if you don't have any help you will suffer.Personally I regret having children because he manipulates me by them and blackmails me.And him too he said he doesn't has a choice if no he would kick me!Please let the feelings and love and all of that because this will pass and you will suffer at the end.Now my point of view is that career is more important but I realized this too late.

جزاك الله بخير 🥺❤️❤️❤️

Good job

This should have a billion views, best talk I have heard in months if not years. May Allah reward you sister. As a single father I have been looking for a wife for 3 years now and it is not easy for so many of the listed reasons you discussed.

The ads are annoying😩 Awesome video sister

Wallahi you are amazing

I did my best to do a lot of these talk points but one he put his hands on me and my child I couldn’t say I wanted to make it work. I had a wake up period and realized how bad he was treating me and talking to me and my child. Let us get you some help because you can get what you need and we can heal together. No! I got this I’m don’t need help. I still pray for you but we cannot be! Insha’Allah this process is peaceful.

I am hindu sister but loved your videos sister

Al Salam alikum Naima! i found there Alhamdulillah... i also followed you on Facebook, and your posts.

It takes two people to make any relationship work if one party constantly neglects his duty & ignores his responsibility how long can you cling onto a relationship that’s dead??

@wahiedavanderschyffarumuga7693

Жыл бұрын

True sister, think a woman takes on quite a lot

@zeinabkhamis91

Жыл бұрын

Not long I’m afraid. And I’m talking from personal experience.

@egordn3

Жыл бұрын

I’m wondering the same thing.

@Jay-bc7kh

Жыл бұрын

It depends on what duties you are talking about. This should be discussed BEFORE you get married. If the man fulfills those duties that he said he would prior to getting married, you have zero reason to be sad.

@wahiedavanderschyffarumuga7693

Жыл бұрын

@@Jay-bc7kh you can discuss before being married, have the contract signed… ultimate litmus test is when you ARE MARRIED. No women complains unnecessarily at all!!!

Salams sister, where is the link for the video about toxic relationships that you mention around 17:44?

Masha allah ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Asalamu alaikum wa rahmatullah. Sometimes we tend to forget that after a divorce the husband still has his role to continue which is to maintain his kids. It is not solely the responsibility of the mother to provide for the kids. Maybe you can touch a bit on The Role of a Husband After a Divorce so men would know their role as a father and provider still continues after divorce. Beautiful advice you send as always. This is indeed an eye opener.

@AKM145

Жыл бұрын

And Mothers seems to forget the right of Fathers on their children and use them as weapons against fathers and to gain as much as they can financially even which is not allowed in Islam by going to Kuffar laws where they find it suits them. May Allah(swt) guide all Muslims to be just and not oppressive. Ameen

@um-muhammad9165

Жыл бұрын

@@AKM145 Ameen

@mubarakharuna6425

8 ай бұрын

Sister sorry for my comment but if you have children with your husband, divorce will not be the option but rather fix your marriage. There are ups and down, no successful marriage had a smooth road. There are a lot of impacts on bringing up children by one parent. You both need to play a role. May Allah Guide us and give us subur.

inshallah...thankyou...wa.as.wr..wb..

Assalamu alaikum wrwb Dear Sister, I thought you are addressing me here only!!! Allah SWT send YOU as a Rahma for me!!!! Lots of duas for you!

@NaimaBRobertTV

Жыл бұрын

May Allah make it easy for us!

@raziarahman3153

Жыл бұрын

Allahumma Ameen!

As someone who is aiming to get married very soon. This video is invaluable. Shukran. May Allah reward you and guide all. Aameen.

@sahalmohamed3477

8 ай бұрын

Hope after when year °soon° pasted very quickly and everything is on the track, isn't it....?!!!!.

@mistermannan

8 ай бұрын

@@sahalmohamed3477 AlHamdulillah. Got married in February. Implementing what I can. Going well. Thank you for asking.

@sahalmohamed3477

8 ай бұрын

@@mistermannan : mansha'allah, barakallah-fiik. It's a blessing and hope you very sweet family life Insha'llah and blessing offspring.

You're right most women behave like you said but it didn't mean that every woman is irresponsible..do you have anything for men because in many places men are using their authority in wrong way.

MashaAllah

Can you please provide the link about the toxic relationship!

What is the video that she was talking about in 17:35?

Thanks Naima for your great advices

Assalamualaikum, could you please talk about long distance marriage?

@happihijjabi9631

Жыл бұрын

I'd like to hear about this topic also

Asalamualeykum warahmatulahi wabarakatuhu sister ,your advice is a good one but is the divorce bad things if its necessary or if marriage can't work and if you are not happy in the marriage expecially if your spouse isn't lead you in to religious way????

This is very valuable the problem is that lots of family is past this and are in divorce or have already been divorced. Me as a man and have kids and have been divorced can not move forward with my life because I am stuck trying to just works so I can spend time with my kids. If I don't pay I can not see them. Making the situation bitter. But I. Realty can't move forward to find a partner and marry again. Fine a sincere partner . Can you advise a solution or get people who have been divorced connect to marry again

Assalaamu alaikum sister. I pray you and your family are in the best of states aameen . Do you mind linking the talk you mentioned of esther perel. I can't seem to find it Baarakallaahu feekum

@NaimaBRobertTV

Жыл бұрын

Will do, sis!

Can you please give examples of normal levels of ups and downs so this could be differentiated from events which do not allow one to maintain emotional safety?

MashaAllah very useful advice

السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته كيف حالك أختى ❤️ أحببتك فى الله ... بإمكانى أن اكتب لك بالإنجليزية ولكنى أظن انك تفهمين العربية وأظن انك مشتاقة للحديث بها 🌼 أريد أن أقول أبدعت فعلا أسأل الله سبحانه أن ينفع بك البلاد والعباد

Assalam o alykum.... you never talk about narcissistic husbands...I never expect anything from my marriage.. I'm a realistic person but the other person always took advantage of my kindness and my responsible behavior..I didn't get anything in return.. please make video about narcissistic husbands... pleeeeeze

@majidkhan89

Жыл бұрын

The issue with narcissistic male or females is that they will never change. Unfortunately I had a narcissistic wife who was surprisingly self aware but not doing nothing. Many videos I have seen on narcissistic people, and many people comment pretty much the same thing. Which is RUN!. Lol

@internap627

Жыл бұрын

She doesn't have to talk about them...because everyone else is... she's talking about the things less spoken about.

@samia6888

Жыл бұрын

If you are dealing with a narcissist person, there is no saving the marriage. There is no way but divorce. This video does not apply as it is for non narcissistic marriages. If you are dealing with a narcissist husband/wife, please leave. I have had experienced a narcissist before and it is no way to live. You will give everything, and soon even your identity will be lost. Please leave safely.

@majidkhan89

Жыл бұрын

@@samia6888 💯. May Allah protect us from narcissist and protect us from being one too. May Allah help those narcissist to be better people.

Wallah I will keep sending u this approach message to u till Allah make it possible for u to kindly reply me right. Is nothing but how pious and serious relationship you have with you creator Allah

Asalam Aleikum sister I love your videos watching them makes me happy sister I want to get married but I don't have any one yet to get married with I feel marriage doors are closed for me please pray for me to get married soon and find good life partner Insha'Allah

@freespirit7835

3 ай бұрын

What are you looking for in a spouse, what is a must and what is a good to have? Might help you to locate the husband you want. Get married to please Allah and look for good character, you will be happy my sister inshaallah.

Thank you for the eye opening advice sister jazak allah khair 💚

Waslam rahmathulla

Assalam alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh I wonder if there is a way to get in touch with you for a personal consultation. Do you give any one on one consultations? I am in a desperate need to talk to a sister to help me sort out my marriage issue.

Asw sister I did

እሠላሙ አለይኩም ወራህምቱላሂ ወበርካቱሁ👍

My fear of getting married is that I want to be in hand of a very good Allah fearing woman and is very difficult to get that in life at this present time definitely

Because women have lowered their expectations they suffer in their marriage period. No one goes as soon as a problem occurs. But seeing your “righteous husband” not pray and occasionally drink alcohol I will not have patience when the main points aren’t valued as it was talked in the beginning. That is a reason for a divorce for me. Who knows what else he is doing behind my back with other women, when he doesn’t even value the Rules of Allah.

@NaimaBRobertTV

Жыл бұрын

May Allah make your way easy and rectify your affairs, ameen.

inshallah....inshallah

We are not living in the 70s or 80s...we are living in 2022. Have we learned from History? I tell my offspring: Read books on Human Nature, Marriages, listen to lectures. Last one: Men are egotistical and women are emotional. Learn to understand each other. Khadijah ra covered her husband when he had the first conversation with Jibraeel as.

Asalam o alaikum wa rehmatullah e wa barakatuho

If there is absolutely zero attraction and zero chemistry, and the sex doesn't work, one needs to divorce otherwise it's a recipe for disaster and after a couple of years one is going to end up doing sins on the side.

@yu-a9596

Жыл бұрын

Marriage is not always about chemistry and attraction though, as long as you both maintain good communication, you both treat each other nicely and PRIORITIES each other (putting each other first, after Allah of course) doing the small things like asking how you are? Checking in with each other, making sure the wife is emotionally stimulated (since females are known to be emotional) and the wife making sure the husband is doing good and making him feel welcomed and needed. So personally marriage can happily LAST without attraction and chemistry. If you’re after what you see in the movies where you lock eyes from across the room and you ‘accidentally’ drop your hot tea and she comes over to u to ‘clean’ it and there’s tension then I’m sorry wake up that’s not how it goes in real life. And also why did you get married? Ask yourself and What type of person did you get married to? Did you implement what the Prophet advised us to in terms of marrying the woman who has religion? A woman who has deen will always be beautiful in my opinion

I'm not having an access to the internet. That's my difficulties of not getting in touch with you really

Naima why is my comment not posted under your video can you elaborate with actual arguments?

Salaam U cant just day its shaytaan Sometimes frm day 1 2 ppl just dont gt on even after 20yrs. That's why divorce is allowed

What happens if you are dealing with a narcissist

I'm a Revert. I became a Revert during my separation with my Wife (she is not Muslim). We have 2 children (both under 5 years of age). We have been separated since May 2021. Long story short, she left deceptively with the assistance of her Mother, made unfounded allegations against me and then prevented me from seeing our children. I went to court etc now I can see our children. My point is that, although, children should be put first (I strongly agree) but I cannot trust her. As long as I'm in our children's lives (physically seeing them) and financially providing for them. I can't do more than this. The only option I have is divorce. Note: my focus has been trying to put our children first and being positive but she left by her own will and too many things she did that cannot be mentioned in public....

Dear Na'ima, I love your books and considered you a great ambassador for the Islamic religion. In "Sisters" you truly spoke from the heart across all religions and to all women; your advice on marriage is very valuable for all married and aspiring to be married women, particularly those of us on the more conservative side. As such Im extremely disappointed that you would, on your channel, promote a comment (see High Value Men 25/8) that essentially intimates that I am a prostitute because I have expressed a different viewpoint. I'm not surprised that a certain type of man would make such a comment, but I am surprised - and disappointed - that you would promote it when I'm simply engaging in an honest discussion. Perhaps you feel you have to pander to these extremists for clicks? Either way, as I say, I would have considered it beneath you. Women turning on women is really the bottom of the barrel.

@NaimaBRobertTV

Жыл бұрын

Salaam, dear sis, I pray you are well. I’m a little confused about which comment I promoted and what was implied - I’ll have to go back and check it - but know that I would not knowingly support something like that, for clicks or otherwise. Apologies for any offence, it was unintended.

@freespirit7835

3 ай бұрын

Sister Naimah, you are doing great work, dont worry about criticisms from some quarters. What you are saying was a given and understood by society since Adam peace be upon him, we really have lost our way with the western nonsense we imbibe regularly. Keep up the good work.

Naima are you married ? Asking for a friend of course!

@kellyjames15

Жыл бұрын

🤣

It's 2022, everyone men/women needs to stop looking for things to be so perfect in life. Help each other in everything. Stop looking for glamor and glitter! Take examples from the prophet(saw)marriages. What's wrong with Muslims these days? What happen to ya'll Deen? Has Shaytan taken over ya'll lives? It seems that way!! Ya'll setting bad examples for people who wanna get married! "JUST STOP IT ALREADY PLEASE"

How to avoid divorce is to take time to know the person before you even get married. Stop being reckless just because yoi love someone

@whiteguyplays6229

Жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, that's haram m8

@TheHabibOfMankind

Жыл бұрын

@@whiteguyplays6229 no you can meet them as much as you want with a mahram present

@mufunyiibrahim3655

Жыл бұрын

People change with time

@yu-a9596

Жыл бұрын

Well unfortunately you don’t a person until you live with them

@salimhaddad9877

Жыл бұрын

@@whiteguyplays6229 you know what's more haram wasting someone else's time and effort by making it seem like you guys are compatible

Someone please teach me a way to memorise all these points

Is it sinful to forget about the idea of getting married? What is the judgement for those who do not want to get married?

I’m 3 minutes in and I realized This video is a gold mine for men and women Jazakillahu khair

Mobin Rajpura ❤❤🌹🌹🤲🤲📖📖📖📖❤❤💯💯✍️✍️🌹🌹ok

What about a long 22 years of toxic relationship? Where both husband & wife are wronging each other? Is divorced an option because they are doing haram to each other and disobeying Allah. Is divorce an obligation on them even with children?? Thanks ❤

Divorce lazina ifanye kazi kwasababu nilikuwanikmzuiya yeye hasikiyi anasikiza dadazake wapunzi

Sister, I am not agreeable for what you have said on our Prophet(s.a.w) for the Prophet are not flawed and he is perfect. Maybe if you could rephrase the same message without belittling the one who has been blessed with the best of character as a model for this ummah

They wish you would disbelieve as they disbelieved so you would be alike. So do not take from among them allies until they emigrate for the cause of Allah. But if they turn away, then seize them and kill them wherever you find them and take not from among them any ally or helper. Quran 4:89

I have a relative she was married 21 years. She was very young and innocent he was fine at the beginning but once his parents passed away he true colors came even though her father in law was always there for her more than her kids father he’s a Narcissistic and he ruined his family because everything had to be done his way no matter what

@marioe2360

Жыл бұрын

This is a similar situation to me right now

@rb757

Жыл бұрын

Allah hasn’t said you need to tolerate abuse

1. Manage your expectation 2. Correct your intention 3. Mind your own business to fulfill your partner's right 4. Take divorce off the table 5. Focus on the good of your partner and be grateful 6. Stop fantasizing for being single when facing the hard time 7. Letting go off a fairy tale 8. Do not listen to someone who are divorced or single, listen to someone with good relationship instead 9. Communication and compromise I miss 1 point but couldnt find it..

@NaimaBRobertTV

Жыл бұрын

JazakAllahu khairan!

@Zohra.bloempje

Жыл бұрын

10. Remember the end goal: Jannah 💗

The woman will say: "what have you ever done for me?". Whatever one says she will say "that's from Allah.".

Mu’ta or breast feeding for an adult 10 times. ☝🏼🤣

Talaja