I am a musical artist based in the UK.
While suffering from anorexia as a teenager, I began writing music based on the psychological complexities of anorexia, bulimia, compulsive over-eating and exercising, depression, and self-harm.
In every song I create is a depth of emotion, darkness, and truth. From the moment I decide to write a song, I delve deep into my own battles with mental illness and draw out real and raw feeling from my past, and my present.
I am a pro-recovery advocate for eating disorders, and will always encourage recovery as far as possible.
My music is available to download or stream across all platforms.
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Cuz im sweet as suger cold as ice when bits addiction its sweet like suger but cold as ice
"I'll be your best friend, I'll be your loving curse". "Take skinny to another level, I can show you how". My favorite lyrics <3
"Keep your enemies close they will keep you strong" "Can't you see all these people. They don't care for you" "Do right by me and I will be sugar sweet to you. But cross me and my colder side might show through" Those are phrases, which are describeing borderline personality like👌🎯
Already planning my next binge purge better then any drug i leave hospital tomorrow
Hey guys, maybe you can be happy for me. I am having a very disciplined time!
The only problem about starving is people talking and gossiping. Literally the only problem.
I’m realizing, unless u have plenty of love and support, once you fall down this path, it’s very hard to get out. It’s been 5 years. And the sad part is, something very crucial is often missing which leads to sinking into an ed in the first place. But the missing factor makes it hard to recover.
“Don’t give into the greed” I feel that to much, I feel like when I eat, I’m like, unworthy of it, because there are so many people that don’t have access to food and I do, but why do I deserve to when they don’t have it?
I love her music so much, the songs are therapeutic to me and has helped me realize that I need to stop several times, but at the same time, I listen to trigger myself sometimes, despite this, I do want to get better, I can’t put my family through that pain
Please do better , get well x
Heh, I will definitely try
I'm diagnosed with bulimia nervosa but slowly becoming anorexic I'm hoping to become skinny enough that I'll finally be good enough the bulimia has gotten to where I purge up my food 5 times a day
same i know how you feel
I honestly don't want to recover I really don't care if it kills me
"hungry to bed hungry to rise" so relatable I usually don't eat I really don't want to recover I rather starve than eat my weight goal is 90 lbs
pls get help x
"hungry to bed hungry to rise" so relatable I usually don't eat I really don't want to recover
This is my first time i just started
Anyone in 2024? ❤❤
I have phychosis and this hit so hard all the words explain what im going through
Cuz im sweet as super cux im cold as ice keep ypur enemies close thell keep u strong
"Can't you see? All this people, they don't care for you" It's true, people (even family members) tell you to eat but if you do, they tell you not to because you will gain weight.
Im anorxia
this song's sound has a magical quality to it.reminds me of ''spirited away.'' ✨
This is the most fucking relatable song I ever heard
Yall a dear friend of mine got annorexia what do i do💔😭😭😭
All you can do is be supportive, listen, and love your friend. It is usually best not to focus on Ed behaviors or push food. Meet them where they are.
If people only knew what an absolute parallel universe it opens up if you starve. It is so magical and totally hollow and creepy but also familiar. I feel like Alice.
"You just don't eat" is absolute favourite line. In general the lyrics of this one are one of the best of all her songs. It is indeed a decision that one makes. At the moment it is so easy. These are the good times. I just don't eat but I have no problem whatsoever with it.
Is there a reason why you've changed the lyrics from "girl within the ghost to "soul" within the ghost?
She explained in the video description it's to make it more inclusive
Have you recovered? How did you get out of it?
ur songs hit so hard >_<
I love it, would be cool if you made an instrumental version of the original version thank you!
Binge eating - out of control Bulimia - sometimes control, sometimes out of control Anorexia - control
I totally love this song
i listen to this all the time and it helps soooo much with the constant suffering due to anorexia. thank you so much for creating such songs 💖💖💖
Deteriorate and Invisible Killer would be lovely to hear acoustic like this ❤
Petition: replace the word "sugar" here with "splenda" "stevia" or "sucralose"
Hey, maybe it’s none of my business, but I’ve been following your music for a long time. Never had an eating disorder, but something about your music resonates. I’m always impressed by how you take something so raw and emotional and turn it into compelling music. I was wondering, did you remove a song from this album or maybe another one? I’ve been looking for one of your less recent songs and can’t find it. It goes something like “but how can you be so … when your friends are itty bitty and they treat you with such pity…” “so let’s show’em what we’re made of…” something like that? Thank you and hope you’re doing well!
Hello! Thank you so much, hope you're doing well also! :) Yes quite a few of my songs were removed by KZread for 'promoting self-harm and encouraging eating disorders' - my whole channel was removed at one point, and I had to appeal to get it back up again, fighting my corner that that's absolutely not what my music was intended for. KZread apologised and restored my channel, but unfortunately I haven't been able to recover the individually removed songs. The song lyrics mentioned there are from the song Beauty In The Darkness (on the album of the same title) - I'm looking to re-upload it to my channel at some point, but in the meantime, it's available on most online streaming platforms. Hope this helps! :)
Thank you so much for answering! Sorry to hear about the problems with your channel, but I’m glad you’re still around and sharing your music. Good luck with everything!
I say I don't have a problem but people say I do
This is amazing but so sad and relatable at the same time 😢😢
Curently on my 3ed day of light relapse i had 500 cal on the 9th and 700 on the 10th its now the 11th, and im going to try to be at 200. Tmro ill try for 150, then I'll try to eat 100, then I'll try to stay under 200 for as long as i can. Im being forced to eat so i have to eat 3 meals. But soup is 50 cal for a half cup so i shoukd be able to stay at 150. Sometimes, less if I lie about how much of it i eat as long as they dont check the bowl. Sometimes they do tho...And as long as I dont give in to the hunger, I should be able to do it. So far, today im at 165. Oatmeal, they made me eat and a quarter cup of soup. So as long as i dont eat anything else today i should be fine...We are going to a family member's house for dinner but ill try to act like its just I dont want to take my mask off. I hope when i get home i dont give into hunger...Maybe i can get myself to hate eating so much that I lose my apatite like last time around...I hope so..i miss my 70-200 cal days. I could eat a quarter egg and not be hungry just out of being done with eating. Ever sense recovery i have had a appetite again... ever sense i got back from the mental hospital..I hope it leaves soon...Cause this will make it sm harder but i want to be 88 pounds. I was 90 back at dec 8. (Its feb 11) im not 97. I want at least back down to 90 pounds. It will take sm mental control to get rid of having a appetite but i belive i can do it.
My diet consists of a plain white bread and a banana , maybe i am relapsing
I wanna get to this point but I just can't stop fucking stuffing my face:c
I've been looking for a BED song for so long! And this one captures it perfectly!
If i wasn't on outpatient from a stay I had in the mental hospital, I'd relapse so hard right now. I want this. I want to feel real hunger. Not the hunger you get of just eating 600 cal or less, but still eating. The hunger you get from eating absolutely nothing till you just dont get hungry again. I want to throw up every day. Cut into my leg over the vain so deep that i pass out. I want the feeling of being dizzy from blood loss back.
Yess ur back on YT
Omg it’s back up! Yay
Can you post a video of just the background music in this? Its so pretty.
Is it possible to do midnight run?
i’ll be happy when i’m pretty
Can you make more songs about bulimia?
As being anorexic and Exercise addiction for 35 years. It may have been a dark descent but I was happy and recovery was the worst thing I ever did just for me at least
I guess most folks that are like me that have been struggling for 35 years are no longer anymore. Not hard to not eat for me and exercise. Its easy and fun for me. It’s much more than control. Shouldn’t be putting numbers up there though. That’s absolutely horribly triggering. Geezeeeee
Yep. It's second nature.
'promo sm'