Dating Beyond Borders Podcast
Dating Beyond Borders Podcast
Hello and welcome to the Dating Beyond Borders podcast where I will chat culture, connection and experiences with people from all around the world. We will dive deep into psyche, share stories and try to break down those barriers between us one connection at a time.
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I think Leo has too much of a Lisboner perspective. Of course fado doesn't really represent Portuguese culture, only Lisbon and Coimbra have proper fado houses. There are many similar styles to fado worlwide, be it blues in the US or sevdah in Bosnia, and local musical elements play higher importance in many Portuguese cities when compared to fado. Fado only got its nationwide appraisal with Amália, this being some 60 years ago! No lifelong or centenary thing. However, I do like fado as I have a fado loving grandmother which passed that love on to me. By the way, Portuguese do tend to be more reserved than Spanish but there are some Portuguese, especially from Porto and neighbouring cities, that can be quite loud. Just enter Bolhão Market to see that...
I don’t recognize the image of Finns being closed off. Finns are very passionate people . Very creative , which is reflected in the language with a lot of long explaining creative sentences Like my grandmother used to say something like This ” on mieli kireällä kui vanhapiiian niskanahka” which is translated ” my mind is contracted like the old maidens neck skin (?) so she expressed that she was stressed 😂 But Finns don’t just say the word . There is a long hilarious harangue about almost every Word At least my family talked like that 😊
The hardest month for seasonal depression is the current one. Like right now I know last year we had the month of June just like we did this year but we all know what's coming. Winter.
Sexual compatibility is absolutely not the measure of a good relationship. Ladies, don't fall for that or you are going to be used. There are more important aspects of compatibility that are crucial to whether or not a relationship is sustainable. Values, goals, intentions, similar spiritual beliefs, etc. if good sexual compatibility was the yardstick for a good relationship there would be no divorce in developed nations, because the majority of people in the West have plenty of sexual experimentation with countless partners and they still can't seem to find the right one.
If you get a Finn to be your friend, you have a friend for a lifetime. Unless you (or they) do something very very stupid.
About communicating, there's this joke in Estonia. 2 men are working in the forest for couple of days and eventually one guy asks the other that how is he doing. Next day the other man says that he will quit, because the other one talks too much.
21:03 Bingo! If you have nothing important to say, shut up!
Do Dating Beyond Borders have a hidden anti multicultural agenda? ... Having viewed/listened to a great number of these podcasts, one is left with the impression that one should avoid multicultural liberal countries,; like; let's not mix genes from different cultures. (as if interviews are screened before broadcasted, and those that have a positive outlook on the multculture project are not presented, or even that interviews themselves are staged/faked) As if the world isn't enough divided as it is allready ...
As a Finn, I like the fact that here in Finland, we don't have the "expectation" that whenever you go out, you'd have to have a so-called social face on. But in my case, at least, I love to interact with other people, and I don't really mind if someone comes to talk to me... it's just that having some empty chattering that no one really even cares about feels so.. nonsensical😅 I'd rather save my energy for something else or to someone who really wants to talk and not just fill the silence, if that makes any sense. (Also, why would being silent be a bad thing either? Just enjoy your surroundings :3 )
Hi , as a swed guy i can tell the reel problem in this. This is a result of the womens free relis. in 1970 -80s there was a huge campange about the women should be equal with the men. same right to work .same everything. and back then it was not acept to demand and bee forward. im so old that i was dating in the 70s.so the swedich guys was told to stand back and dont take initiative. So the girls got very cocky and beginn drink and smoke more. And swedich guys should not fight with a girl so often just left a girl because you could not talk with her . We are not lazy we are held back of this equal thing.the talk of that swedich men are lazy is bull shit , its esyer to talk with womens fron abroad.
very interesting discussion
This Varpu lady is so hot, but she's already married with a kid, right? These people are so open about sex because they are all connected in their culture. They probably know who they might marry early in life, and are just waiting for a certain age to get serious. I doubt any man who has had sex with Varpu has wanted to leave.
People can make these videos for foreigners, but the FACT is that most of these countries take their own nationalities seriously, and if the country is fairly wealthy and secure like Finland, why should they throw themselves open to outsiders? It doesn't make much sense, if you don't speak the local language and know the culture. I have relatives in an eastern european country and kind of know the language, but it's still so hard. I think it's wildly dishonest for me to say I will spend the rest of my life becoming a deep member of that society. I have other things to spend my limited time on since I'm not in my 20s and English is my functional lanuage since I grew up in the USA. Since I know I'm not going to do a deep dive, if I want to find a partner in my grandparents country, that person has to be OK with me NOT diving in deep to their culture. I have three careers and want to build an estate to live in a WARM place in southern europe. I find northern european women to be very beautiful but I am finished with long gray winters which really disable my motivation and keep me inside too much. Places that have summer for three months are NO FUN, because winter is AT LEAST six months long, and often LONGER. I had them in Canada and I'm not doing them for the rest of my life. So whoever I will be with has to move south with me. Relationships are based on open communication about what your objectives are.
I am an American man married for 24 years to a Korean woman. We live in Korea by choice because it is safer here and there are no guns. Also it is easier to afford a middle class lifestyle. I do disagree about the Seoul Centered view exposes in this video. We do not live in Seoul because of the crowding and the expenses there. We live in the central area of Korea and love it. The public transportation is excellent and it provides for most necessities like home, food, transportation. Prices are less than in Seoul or the surrounding metropolitan area. Yes, there are some things that do draw us to Seoul, but by KTX it is only an hour to the canter of that metropolis. I did love bomb my wife when I met her. That was 24 years ago. Also I was caught off guard by her wanting to hear from me many times each day. Now it has reversed, I am the one on who misses hearing from her many times each day. I look at my Korean wife through the history of this country. Here is a person who was a child when Korea was a poor country. Her ancestors suffered the Japanese harsh rule. Also before that they were invaded by the Mongols, China and Japan. Their heritage was burned by these barbaric invaders. Yet they survived and kept their unique culture. Korea has a long history of respecting education and the elderly. Now that I am in the twilight of my life, these things are important and I find the legacy of this is embodied in a powerful defense of and love of country. I also believe Korea is one of the most democratic counties on earth. I am proud to be living in a country where an educator of one of the most respected professions. I take great pride in my students and how they travel overseas. When I do the same I visit with them. I know they will return, as my wife returned 21 years ago. Korea does not have the great resources of oil and gas, but it does have a great resource of its people. They are so empowered by their parents who had less. Their parents are great people who arose from the ashes of the Korean War. I see a bright future for this people. I also think a low birth rate is not such a bad thing. So let’s look forward and continue to realize what we have. Wow, we have it and what we have done to overcome the past of poverty and war to become one of the great countries of the world.
No compliments?😥Harsh truth from a 72 year old man that was as complement worthy as the next guy: Women Do Not give complements.
kzread.info/dash/bejne/oZ2qo49qipPTZ7Q.htmlsi=KjCFfsBPxLZTBM9_
The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it? Jeremiah 17:9
"Do you own your apartment?" Congratulations. You're a dude 😂
Minutes 23:25; Personal experience i has both tha lazy guy and the other one actively participating in the relationships; self initiative in cleaning, cooking, fun/outings & romance. The difference was one was a young adult (same age) and the other was a man (bit older than me), both Swedes
Time: 21:54 Reg. The project manager situation. The boyfrind incthis case has a typical toxic behavior where he is trying to put all responsibilities on the her and then claim no responsibility when/if the relationship ends.
I love Koreans❤
This is such a female only discussion, where "shame" is exclusively a "bad" word. Shame does have a place in society if You look at the bigger picture. Bad things come out of women not understanding their sexuality has power to destroy a society. There is a reason it was confined in many religions. Please think about it. It's not just about You.
Grew up in Sweden, stockholm, now living in USA. Swede men no approaching women and blaming Me2 is pure bulls*it. They had that behavior during the 90s already and from my older friends anecdotes even before that. So no, not true.
1 reason divorce is destigmatised in Finland, is bc it's a very equal and simple process. In US men can get annihilated financially, whereas in Finland it's just a year of recuperation mentally, and then You get back on the horse. This fairness of the process leads to men being more willing to get into relationships, bc they dont fear getting absolutely destroyed. There is no barrier to entry.
And prenups work. In america (and many other countries) depending on state, and even the mood of the judge, your prenup can be thrown out of the court.
Small talk is just as common in Canada. I'm Australian and moved to Canada as a young adult. At first, I was amazed at the way strangers would casually open a conversation in elevators, on buses, waiting in line, etc.
The conflict avoidance is because we come from a warrior culture. To offend people meant you had to fight, and fighting a thousand years ago could/would mean death. That still lives on. In the Nordics we where so few that women had to help with harvests and the farm and when shit hit the fan we expected our women to fight alongside us if it was needed. Every woman and man should be able to do everything themselves. The first female president was from Island and the strong position of the women in modern Nordic society stems from this. Honor is another pillar on which the Nordic society works. If someone from the Nordics promises something they will deliver or die trying. Friendship is on the same level. You are obliged to help anyone that asks for help, which also means that asking for help is always the last resort since you do not want to be a burden to others. (There is a whole thing about living in an extreme climate that can kill you within ours and the fact that farms where placed very far from each other. Sometimes hours away.) Culturally we are more like the Japanese than a southern or eastern European Look at the Nordics with this view and you will understand us much easier..
Good observation, thank you for sharing!
A little correction, no one in Finland is anti immigration, not even the base-finns, we are against people coming here and starting to tell us how to live as a culture and living like pigs. If you cant integrate and become a Finn, get out. Get a job, education and mind your own business, and everyone in Finland is happy. We tell people like its is. Hell, ive talked about this with my buddies from egypt, india, irak, iran, turkey, thailand and indonesia. They all agree that those people coming here acting like morons, should be kicked out. All of the people that i know who are immigrants or refugees, can speak Finnish or English or both and have either a job or are in school to get an occupation. Yes, there are bad apples, some. But even one is enough.
We are not happy, sometimes we are, not perpetually, we are content of what we have, we are not trying to catch the moon, we work and save money for our hobbies and interests. We are not trying to be rich in a materialistic way, we try to be rich in life and living.
Difference between Uk and finland and why one is happier than the other: Number of people, quality of medical care, how much the state looks after you. Medical industry in the uk overall is awful. Waiting months for a life changing test or operation. Waiting weeks just to see your local dr. Home visits and/or carers barely available. Drs would rather give you a pain killer than give you tests. And the government just generally does anything possible to crap all over you. Theres a reason why most finnish would fight for their country, and most british would laugh in your face if you asked if they'd fight for theirs.. British people just dont get looked after.
We have this thing called "sää on pukeutumiskysymys" = weather is a question of clothing, if youre cold or or hot, first check what you are wearing. Winters are great, so are the summers, and falls and springs, i wouldnt change the weather of 4 seasons to anything else.
Vietnamese men also lovebomb you to death when you first date them for a few months, then after that they reveal their highly toxic, controlling, and manipulative behavior and will only show that their "nice" side when they want something from you. I had a much better dating experience dating Asian Americans such as Korean Americans, Chinese Americans, Vietnamese Americans, etc...
So much to comment about but here's few things. For me as a Finnish man, equality's everything. Relationship isn't games but about respecting each other, being open and truly yourself. I don't mind going out for a dinner on first dates but why should the one who pays only be me? It's not about the money but in fairness both should pay their own meals. Relationship's a different story. And if the dates lead to next dates...good. If they lead to sex...good...but no pressure. The whole situation and chemistry between two people will tell where it leads. Sex isn't a taboo in Finland and there must always be two willing parties before anything happens. On a relationship sharing the home chores belong to both of us. Helping each other makes life go much smoother. Respect, share, show affection and empathy, love and enjoy the life together. And when you go to sauna just rip that towel off. Nobody cares if your t/t or b@ll hang lower than the other. We're individuals and that is great. Relax and enjoy of the big and little things.
Tell me you order soy latte without telling me you order soy latte.
Varpu sounds a such woman i could ask to go to activity date. :3 Good video. I'm from Finland also.
Commenting as a listen. Round birthdays are where you invite the peripherals, the ones in between are where you invite the ones close. As I see it.
OMG! Checking all the females on socials, texting every 5 min….?! It is called obsessed and claiming… pffff 😮 I can imagine that this is very exhausting for men…! Tbh it’s not normal, well we do it totally different here in the west, Europe, I am from the Netherlands 🇳🇱 so we are very chill!😊
I'm intorverted even by Nordic stamdards. I talk to strangers for hours when I'm at bars, pub, parties.
I really love your channel and all the divulgation work you do! But I was thinking it would be really great if you could do more episodes with people who have had a positive outcome from dating people in Scandinavia (or elsewhere). Sometimes I feel like we see only one side of the dating experience which I've ended up noticing is mostly negative, but I'm sure there are many successful stories as well! 🤗🤗
Oh I love that calmness at Helsinki airport after arriving from other countries.
Sauna every day has Very scientific background about multiple health benefits
What Varpu describes about Hard spring, can be avoided by strong D - vitamin though out the year. That is D vitamin defiency. This is Very much needed In Finland a Basic thing.
As a Brit who used yo holiday in Cornwall every year, i can relate to slending all day in the cold atlantic sea as a kid, and not reacting 😅
As a Norwegian I think this guy represents only himself and not all Norwegians, being it boys or girls. You can’t categorize people that much. Norwegians are all individuals and of different types or personalities. You can’t say that Norwegians are like this or that. We are all different. I have never experienced a Norwegian not wanting to talk with me even though we don’t know each other. It all depends on how you approach them.
As a Finna I musta say that some parts of this otherwise enjoyable conversation felt a bit exaggerated. But perhaps that's how it always iends up when you try to encapsulate big and highly diversified things into an hour.
Good discussion by Marina & Feli on the nuances & fissures between American and, more generally, the Central/Northern European ways-of-life. For me, an American-born man, with an Italian father who fought in WW-2 & him having lived through the Great Depression as a teen, I am particularly heartened to hear such a clear insight from a Canadian/Eastern European & a German woman in the early stages of their lives on the topics concerning the likely determinants for the stark differences between the US (today): * and the residual past experiences etched in the zeitgeist of European populous(regardless of class) over the last 90 years of Economic Depressions, military occupation, the overturning of different forms of government, periods of extreme resource scarcity & uncertainty, induced post-war national shame, and a challenge to a country’s identity that comes at the end of such a cataclysmic War, when a ‘cause’ must be assigned. * notable was Feli’s insight of another determinant of frugality encompassing the Northern European need for planning during the more brutal environmental changes during the year, as seasons pass, demanding them to be cognizant of family-resource planning much more-so than one might see in the South. * I would just add 2 orthogonal thoughts concerning another determinant of the differences between US & European cultures TODAY. Once again, a reason borne of environmental necessity - ie., the Atlantic Ocean spans { > 4,500km } between the continents, allowing the US entrance into WW-2 to be accorded with the freedom of a strategic timing of their choosing(barring Pearl Harbor). This is due to the relative remoteness of the States in 1941. Secondly, as Feli alluded to, the US is as large, or larger than the EU, with many partially undeveloped areas, all under one government. * lastly, arguably, TODAY, not 1941, the US deals with many problems, unsustainable National & Family Debt Levels borne of decades of American’s subscription to the ‘throw-away’ culture, excessive spending exuberance, sustainable-thinking, and loose with their personal finances-unfortunately, it is not a cynical view to recognize that the hour is coming when many Americans’ current lifestyle will come to a sudden halt. About this, Americans will learn what the European’s learned the hard way, some 85 years ago.
The clingyness just shows that the women (and some men) have low self esteem.
Fred is one lucky guy!!! She’s lovely !
Sounds like that is a city planning problem. Only Seul is attractive for the youngers.
Oh wow. After hearing videos on denmark, i could not live there for even 5 minutes.
Being rushed out of restaurants was already a thing in Albertan restaurants long before Covid.
These podcasts are interesting