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That was what happened with my ex husband - narcissist abuser that I was love bombed by.
@_xBrokenxDreamsx_20 сағат бұрын
if y'all change yer minds just let me know.
@user-qt9or4xu9l21 сағат бұрын
Let's look at normally gradually building no were to release . If apologize explain sorry reflect the I understand itemize it
@proverbs252222 сағат бұрын
Me setting a boundary with my ex was a game for him. He thought and still thinks boundaries are to be crossed in an almighty fashion or in the most extreme manner possible like they’re goals for him to achieve or something. So I’ll say don’t touch the brand new refrigerator I just bought since you don’t respect my possessions. You don’t buy food or pay any bills or care for anything that doesn’t belong to you so keep your hands off. What does he do? He tries to actively get into it and claim it’s his because I bought it and I’m his! Another boundary would be to stop calling me horrible names and he would immediately start up and then only refer to me as horrible names leading up to the no contact protective order I had to get. He’s a felon for multiple convictions of assaulting me so it was necessary. Another is me asking him to let me go and he holds me down even harder so I pass out! These boundaries aren’t the usual kind but they are boundaries and I had many more. Eventually I had to go no contact with him and I’ll keep it that way until one of us leaves this earth. I never understood why all the violence was needed in an argument with a small under 100 pounds under 5 feet tall woman but he felt he had to show me he was a mindless diseased gorilla for some reason.
@julielaite735222 сағат бұрын
I have acquired brain injury and this is too much for me at one time. Can anyone give me an example of what she is saying please
@stanleymason-od4ls22 сағат бұрын
Interesting video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
@tomachibald22 сағат бұрын
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
@stanleymason-od4ls22 сағат бұрын
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
@tomachibald22 сағат бұрын
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
@stanleymason-od4ls22 сағат бұрын
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
@NativeCali36923 сағат бұрын
Is Poppy’s grandma Filipina? 😀
@Bdp12345Күн бұрын
And can’t share any opinions because will throw it right back at your face and twist your words.
@spiritual2020Күн бұрын
OR you go silent because an overt malignant narcissist scares you half to death while he’s driving 80 mph on a major highway and then punches the windshield on passenger side where you sitting. Just listened to you where you mentioned shutting down. That happened to me when I married to my narc ex-husband.
@user-tc4ry5oo7kКүн бұрын
"Do you like chickpeas?"
@elizabethfindlay5752Күн бұрын
FYI, I noticed when I shared this video that it's accidentally spelt "*Who* does a narcissist show their anger" instead of *How*
@kristino5005Күн бұрын
In my experience, holding boundaries with a narcissist usually ends with little to no contact. And that has been the best choice I’ve ever made. Like Dr. Ramani says, you can’t set a rule for them to follow. They won’t. Boundaries are about what we are willing to accept. When you realize that you deserve better than that treatment, it gets much easier.
@Chanel15477Күн бұрын
Then, what happened to me was that I had to learn communication skills. I didn't know how to communicate effectively. I went from one narcissist that put me down and moved on to another that was always criticizing me. I put myself through college and took some communication classes so i could learn to speak better. Now, I will call them out if they try to tease, manipulate, or criticize me. I'm telling them what they're doing!!! For years I kept my mouth shut.
@amybradbury338Күн бұрын
After 15 years, I finally decided I was not talking to my mil anymore unless I had to. It's been a while, and she called my husband the other day to tell us about some good family news. It was such a nice conversation I forgot I wasn't talking to her anymore, ended up on the phone with her by myself for a bit while my husband took a work zoom. She talked a long time, and I was wondering why I don't talk to her anymore, but then I tried to add something to the conversation. Just as simple as 'oh, hand held screens aren't the only screens that can mess with the circadian rhythm, those old movies can too' and then it was sudden shut down, change subject, no acknowledgement of what I said. She switched to a completely different subject so quick I got whiplash, but it was gardening, and I love gardening, so I got excited and started telling her about what my gardens were up to. Subject change like whiplash. I forgot, I'm not allowed to take up space in a conversation with her, anything going on in my life that doesn't directly support or affirm what's going on in her life isn't acknowledged or encouraged. I'm just supposed to listen to her and go oh wow, that's awesome. I don't know if it's narcissistic or if there's something else going on, but yeah. Boundaries.
@proverbs252222 сағат бұрын
So you know my mother in law too?! She’s also got to keep the conversation on her. It’s so annoying. She’s a horrible human and I don’t talk to her anymore either. Her son is a violent drug addict and she thinks I should just let him be in my life abusing me physically and neglecting all financial responsibilities and destroying property and just being a horrible human just like her. I’m good. Being that she and her son both hate me so much then why was I being forced to stay with him by threats and assaults? You’d think they were the married couple and I was the horrible mother in law! Lol I’m over all that now. They can threaten all they want cuz I can’t hear it anymore.
@amethystjean1744Күн бұрын
Boundaries never were rules for other people. They are guides for how you react to other people and what you will put up with. You can’t change others but you can choose what you will accept and what you will do if someone crosses a boundary.
@avz8111Күн бұрын
*Confusion has entered the chat* 😵💫
@GloriaGonzalez-zz4wpКүн бұрын
That is so true narcissism is so scary area I mean it I was totally confused when I started looking at your videos and a lot of videos on KZread and I want to appreciate you all so much for this help and learning cuz I'm learning and been 2 years I've been hearing you so thank you so much I appreciate you all so much for learning because I had a lot of back experience growing up this way so now I know more thank you Dr Romani
@deborahgloria3867Күн бұрын
Exactly!
@joheming801Күн бұрын
My husband, for years, has withheld affirmation and physical affection. I used to ask for compliments, but he said, "It's difficult for me to do." So he doesn't even look for positive things to say, to me or to others. I get affirmations from my friends, and hugs also.
@toomylight2311Күн бұрын
We all have had pms !
@user-rd5ye5jn9yКүн бұрын
or lie even though they know they lying
@jackilynpyzocha662Күн бұрын
I deserve a better biological father than the one I have! No-contact with him is working!
@pikabamboo4175Күн бұрын
where is the scientific evidence for that
@ArtiviaReid2 күн бұрын
😊
@JJADMNJK3KY2 күн бұрын
my wife was secretly engaged in a romantic relationship with another man. Our conversation ended up with me apologizing how my 'mistreating her' made her cheat on me.
@RoscoeRouse-kn5om2 күн бұрын
What nutrients?
@user-rd5ye5jn9y2 күн бұрын
this is gold
@dollymondo2 күн бұрын
Blame MUST be apportioned for ANYTHING!
@Laura-gq3rx2 күн бұрын
I'm probably bad, but I literally jump up and down in gleeful joy, purposely in front of them, when he's given me the silent treatment. Ohh, the look I get. Hahaha 😅
@Laura-gq3rx2 күн бұрын
Yep. Expected to be a mind reader when it's really their responsibility as well as no asking to do something. "Not taking an initiative to do",,, Have always told him he sets people up to fail by not giving pertinent information until after you could have used the information or when done with a task "you should have known that information",,,
@Laura-gq3rx2 күн бұрын
There's only one way to do something. Their way. LOL
@Mr______Pelo___2 күн бұрын
*__________Muslim Husband Hindu Wife😂😂😝😝😁😁________*
@meenaxi19102 күн бұрын
This was an absolutely lovely chat and learned so much from it. What Megha said at 42:21 - about how being well balanced, well worked-out, well-fed is a pressure on women - is so true! It's okay to go through phases of being regimented and then a little sloppy.
@sadmimikyu88072 күн бұрын
I started doing this with my nparents. Helps.
@rhondaengler71562 күн бұрын
The most powerful line I just heard recently was "you are the only one who can save you". That hit me hard. I am taking me back. ..I was on my last leg and I grew tired and stopped caring or trying as i also have a disability. I am over 40 yrs into this, both my mental & physical health is almost depleated. Dr. Ramani, you've saved me just in time. Thank you. My eyes see, my ears hear ..im in the know❤ wheewew, thank goodness it's not me.
@premchawariya64642 күн бұрын
Wow 😮
@michaeltarleton2 күн бұрын
Actually fresh vegetables are better than frozen. However, “grocery store fresh” may be questionable since they pick before ripe and let sit in storage and transport trucks. Plus, just because it’s frozen, doesn’t necessarily mean farmers pick when they are ripe? They may still store for some time if the harvest is too large.
@thepineapple84342 күн бұрын
When I had to testify in court, the judge told my two opponents (one of them my sister) that they both should stop picking fights and creating drama 😂 I always remember that sentence fondly 😊
@nolanolivier67912 күн бұрын
Jesus Chr!st... apparently, I know a lot of narcissists!
@LoElOd2 күн бұрын
Grow up and do some adulting and you too will be able to use your words 🙄
@williemaeboyd29662 күн бұрын
Fuck them people 😊
@karamjsrihal46312 күн бұрын
Good 👍 for you, stay strong
@madhurimamajumdar15442 күн бұрын
Bengalis specially are accepting this kind of life. Many are not getting married and those who are getting married are not conceiving babies. Bengali population is going to decrease rapidly in coming decades.
@luv2dancesalsa4652 күн бұрын
BS You can’t tell anyone WHY you love your children. You just do. Sometimes you just love someone. Do you know what types of people need to know WHY? Narcissists. And don’t discount there are plenty of therapists that are narcissists. - All that being said, you “just do” isn’t a great answer yet… do you really need to explain it? It’s only when you’re in a crappy relationship does the “why” matter. In context it’s good to ask why if you’ve just finished telling your therapist a little diddy that’s causing you concern. Then you just might need to figure out the “why.”
@Uma-kc3hz2 күн бұрын
This is important. We are taught that mentally disordered people are not functional, are not successful. But Narcissists can be very successful. That doesn't mean they're not narcissists. That doesn't mean they can be emotionally available.
@cookiepirolli57922 күн бұрын
Taking care of my husband now. It’s hard, he has Altzeimers it’s hard I’m depressed but I’m doing okay
@luv2dancesalsa4652 күн бұрын
Don’t forget the punishment… ya gotta get that solid 2 week dose of the silent treatment, too! Oh… such good times and fond memories. Not. * when you know, you GO. Go no contact. Or… study actual real information from experts like Sam Vaknin (check out his KZread channel). As regards this expert, beware the narcissistic “guru”.
Пікірлер
That was what happened with my ex husband - narcissist abuser that I was love bombed by.
if y'all change yer minds just let me know.
Let's look at normally gradually building no were to release . If apologize explain sorry reflect the I understand itemize it
Me setting a boundary with my ex was a game for him. He thought and still thinks boundaries are to be crossed in an almighty fashion or in the most extreme manner possible like they’re goals for him to achieve or something. So I’ll say don’t touch the brand new refrigerator I just bought since you don’t respect my possessions. You don’t buy food or pay any bills or care for anything that doesn’t belong to you so keep your hands off. What does he do? He tries to actively get into it and claim it’s his because I bought it and I’m his! Another boundary would be to stop calling me horrible names and he would immediately start up and then only refer to me as horrible names leading up to the no contact protective order I had to get. He’s a felon for multiple convictions of assaulting me so it was necessary. Another is me asking him to let me go and he holds me down even harder so I pass out! These boundaries aren’t the usual kind but they are boundaries and I had many more. Eventually I had to go no contact with him and I’ll keep it that way until one of us leaves this earth. I never understood why all the violence was needed in an argument with a small under 100 pounds under 5 feet tall woman but he felt he had to show me he was a mindless diseased gorilla for some reason.
I have acquired brain injury and this is too much for me at one time. Can anyone give me an example of what she is saying please
Interesting video. My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.
its difficult to let go of someone you love, i was in a similar situation, my relationship of 12 years ended, but i couldnt just let her go i did all i could to get her back, i had to seek the help of a spiritual counselor who helped me bring her back
Amazing, how did you get a spiritual counselor, and how do i reach her?
Her name is Shelly renee white , and she is a great spiritual counselor who can bring back your ex.
Thank you for this valuable information, i just looked her up now online. impressive
Is Poppy’s grandma Filipina? 😀
And can’t share any opinions because will throw it right back at your face and twist your words.
OR you go silent because an overt malignant narcissist scares you half to death while he’s driving 80 mph on a major highway and then punches the windshield on passenger side where you sitting. Just listened to you where you mentioned shutting down. That happened to me when I married to my narc ex-husband.
"Do you like chickpeas?"
FYI, I noticed when I shared this video that it's accidentally spelt "*Who* does a narcissist show their anger" instead of *How*
In my experience, holding boundaries with a narcissist usually ends with little to no contact. And that has been the best choice I’ve ever made. Like Dr. Ramani says, you can’t set a rule for them to follow. They won’t. Boundaries are about what we are willing to accept. When you realize that you deserve better than that treatment, it gets much easier.
Then, what happened to me was that I had to learn communication skills. I didn't know how to communicate effectively. I went from one narcissist that put me down and moved on to another that was always criticizing me. I put myself through college and took some communication classes so i could learn to speak better. Now, I will call them out if they try to tease, manipulate, or criticize me. I'm telling them what they're doing!!! For years I kept my mouth shut.
After 15 years, I finally decided I was not talking to my mil anymore unless I had to. It's been a while, and she called my husband the other day to tell us about some good family news. It was such a nice conversation I forgot I wasn't talking to her anymore, ended up on the phone with her by myself for a bit while my husband took a work zoom. She talked a long time, and I was wondering why I don't talk to her anymore, but then I tried to add something to the conversation. Just as simple as 'oh, hand held screens aren't the only screens that can mess with the circadian rhythm, those old movies can too' and then it was sudden shut down, change subject, no acknowledgement of what I said. She switched to a completely different subject so quick I got whiplash, but it was gardening, and I love gardening, so I got excited and started telling her about what my gardens were up to. Subject change like whiplash. I forgot, I'm not allowed to take up space in a conversation with her, anything going on in my life that doesn't directly support or affirm what's going on in her life isn't acknowledged or encouraged. I'm just supposed to listen to her and go oh wow, that's awesome. I don't know if it's narcissistic or if there's something else going on, but yeah. Boundaries.
So you know my mother in law too?! She’s also got to keep the conversation on her. It’s so annoying. She’s a horrible human and I don’t talk to her anymore either. Her son is a violent drug addict and she thinks I should just let him be in my life abusing me physically and neglecting all financial responsibilities and destroying property and just being a horrible human just like her. I’m good. Being that she and her son both hate me so much then why was I being forced to stay with him by threats and assaults? You’d think they were the married couple and I was the horrible mother in law! Lol I’m over all that now. They can threaten all they want cuz I can’t hear it anymore.
Boundaries never were rules for other people. They are guides for how you react to other people and what you will put up with. You can’t change others but you can choose what you will accept and what you will do if someone crosses a boundary.
*Confusion has entered the chat* 😵💫
That is so true narcissism is so scary area I mean it I was totally confused when I started looking at your videos and a lot of videos on KZread and I want to appreciate you all so much for this help and learning cuz I'm learning and been 2 years I've been hearing you so thank you so much I appreciate you all so much for learning because I had a lot of back experience growing up this way so now I know more thank you Dr Romani
Exactly!
My husband, for years, has withheld affirmation and physical affection. I used to ask for compliments, but he said, "It's difficult for me to do." So he doesn't even look for positive things to say, to me or to others. I get affirmations from my friends, and hugs also.
We all have had pms !
or lie even though they know they lying
I deserve a better biological father than the one I have! No-contact with him is working!
where is the scientific evidence for that
😊
my wife was secretly engaged in a romantic relationship with another man. Our conversation ended up with me apologizing how my 'mistreating her' made her cheat on me.
What nutrients?
this is gold
Blame MUST be apportioned for ANYTHING!
I'm probably bad, but I literally jump up and down in gleeful joy, purposely in front of them, when he's given me the silent treatment. Ohh, the look I get. Hahaha 😅
Yep. Expected to be a mind reader when it's really their responsibility as well as no asking to do something. "Not taking an initiative to do",,, Have always told him he sets people up to fail by not giving pertinent information until after you could have used the information or when done with a task "you should have known that information",,,
There's only one way to do something. Their way. LOL
*__________Muslim Husband Hindu Wife😂😂😝😝😁😁________*
This was an absolutely lovely chat and learned so much from it. What Megha said at 42:21 - about how being well balanced, well worked-out, well-fed is a pressure on women - is so true! It's okay to go through phases of being regimented and then a little sloppy.
I started doing this with my nparents. Helps.
The most powerful line I just heard recently was "you are the only one who can save you". That hit me hard. I am taking me back. ..I was on my last leg and I grew tired and stopped caring or trying as i also have a disability. I am over 40 yrs into this, both my mental & physical health is almost depleated. Dr. Ramani, you've saved me just in time. Thank you. My eyes see, my ears hear ..im in the know❤ wheewew, thank goodness it's not me.
Wow 😮
Actually fresh vegetables are better than frozen. However, “grocery store fresh” may be questionable since they pick before ripe and let sit in storage and transport trucks. Plus, just because it’s frozen, doesn’t necessarily mean farmers pick when they are ripe? They may still store for some time if the harvest is too large.
When I had to testify in court, the judge told my two opponents (one of them my sister) that they both should stop picking fights and creating drama 😂 I always remember that sentence fondly 😊
Jesus Chr!st... apparently, I know a lot of narcissists!
Grow up and do some adulting and you too will be able to use your words 🙄
Fuck them people 😊
Good 👍 for you, stay strong
Bengalis specially are accepting this kind of life. Many are not getting married and those who are getting married are not conceiving babies. Bengali population is going to decrease rapidly in coming decades.
BS You can’t tell anyone WHY you love your children. You just do. Sometimes you just love someone. Do you know what types of people need to know WHY? Narcissists. And don’t discount there are plenty of therapists that are narcissists. - All that being said, you “just do” isn’t a great answer yet… do you really need to explain it? It’s only when you’re in a crappy relationship does the “why” matter. In context it’s good to ask why if you’ve just finished telling your therapist a little diddy that’s causing you concern. Then you just might need to figure out the “why.”
This is important. We are taught that mentally disordered people are not functional, are not successful. But Narcissists can be very successful. That doesn't mean they're not narcissists. That doesn't mean they can be emotionally available.
Taking care of my husband now. It’s hard, he has Altzeimers it’s hard I’m depressed but I’m doing okay
Don’t forget the punishment… ya gotta get that solid 2 week dose of the silent treatment, too! Oh… such good times and fond memories. Not. * when you know, you GO. Go no contact. Or… study actual real information from experts like Sam Vaknin (check out his KZread channel). As regards this expert, beware the narcissistic “guru”.