I'm a psychologist, Lecturer for Harvard Medical School, and Author of Rethinking Narcissism, devoted to the new science of recognizing and coping with narcissists. Welcome to my youtube channel!
To purchase my critically acclaimed book, see tinyurl.com/pjak6er (US) or (UK)
paperback tinyurl.com/j4t7hmh
Пікірлер
Wow. Thank u for so generously sharing what u know! 👏💎👍
Thanks so much. Came over after I saw u on a Dr C video. Thanks for sharing your wealth of wisdom! 👍💎👏
Have YOU EVER BEEN IN THAT SITUATION ?¿ YES 🤷🏻♂️ NO? WHAT YOU MEAN IS ‘COWARDS - BULLSHIT ARTISTS - PEOPLE WHO ARE FULLA SHIT ?! HUNNY , THE ‘TABLE AIN’T THAT BIG FOR THANKSGIVING ! 🤘🏽. ‘YOU REALLY HAVE NOOOOOO IDEA NO ‘ CLUE ‘ WHAT YOU IS TALKIN ABOUT. NONE. 👅. GOOD FREAKIN LUCK.
This is needed, I scored 100% on the positive side of things, and 27 on the scale, and ZERO on the echoing thingy. I’m no echo, look at my last name! I’m GRAND LIKE MY DAD❤ I take up space! I lead, I love! I’m a golden but was chosen for my truth telling and emotionality. I love my parents! I freaking ADORE THEM💕 they told me “be better than us” “don’t forget who you are”
Forever chasing mommy it’s the devil 👿
They want us dead 💀 run plan the great escape ❤♌️🙏🙌
They change up one min perfect childhood and next they has worst 🙌🙏🙌🙏🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️🏃♀️♌️♌️♌️
It’s definitely a learned behavior how I was not affected I thank God oldest And held The fort down at home ❤❤❤
5 🧬 of extreme scary intelligent yet no common sense ❤🙏🙌🙏🙌never ending story 😮
All ex and alcoholic s run 🏃♀️
Lets talk about Obama and narcissism It's a tragic thing that anticapitalism gets conflated with wokeology. Wokeology is actually capitalism in one of its darkest forms. I've never heard a valid argument in favor of capitalism. Proponents of capitalism only ever try to implement gaslighting and/or logical fallacies. Really. Try to have a sane, civil, honest conversation with any proponent of capitalism, and they'll prove my point. But if you like all manner of products within the capitalst matrix, if you own a business, and have employees. and you still want a much more sane and harmonious economic system, You're Not A Fucking Hypocrite. Don't let them silence you with that weak argument . It would be just as ridiculous to argue that one is a hypocrite for drinking city tap water, when they had no other options , and therefore one shouldn't be able consider better sources of water. Narcissistic personality disorder is an epedemic. And when they project "well the problem is nobody wants to work. " Ask them what landlords even fucking do . Ask them what the CEO of Starbucks actually does . Etc. No shade at seasons of nondoership. But shade @ projection. "so much depression, anxiety, stress & suicidality is caused by capitalism. we really really need to talk about how not being able to meet our basic needs and how giving away 80% of our days to jobs that drain & exploit us leads to serious mental health issues for a lot of people" - Alexis Isabel
Thank you very much for those solutions :)
Thank you so much for your work. I've been looking for decades to understand what was wrong with me. Know I know, and it will help me tremendously. Thank you =)
Actually, in some ways I think its my fault because I spoiled him. I over compensated because his narcsissitc dad died from cancer so kind of spoiled him due to that. I tried to also not, but he was such a good kid and now he is a rager as an adult when doesn't get his way, also lies and manipulates and is demanding and nasty now, also dating a narcissist. Also, lacks empathy, which he wasn't like that before, I don't know, maybe its also hereitary, I heard as well, his dad was like this...I don't know but it sure is heartbreaking.
No. I dont think they are aware
Some are Everything has nuance
Narcissist's always take, empaths always give
That's me 😔 I'm owed 2100 since 2022. I'm scared I'm never going to get it.
Would you please explain what happens when a narcissist out-of-control rages at you and then suddenly (within seconds) turns around and behaves as if nothing happened and he's an angel who loves and would never hurt you? Like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde extreme, all within seconds. No explanation or seeming awareness of how crazy-making this is. What is this, and how do people protect themselves from it? It's more terrifying than the rage itself.
What do you call it when the answer to the statement “let me know when you want to talk about it” is silence. Forever. When her engagement in resolving conflict is zero. Over a 30 years relationship. It’s not a shyness. It’s full on manipulation and control.
I’m not passive, and as a golden, I’m entitled at times. But why didn’t I know any of this?
Am I a narcissist?
I can’t believe this, all these years. Here’s my answer. The need panic feels like a tantrum like someone has to do something, because I’m not able to, it’s like a huge rush of “what will I do, somebody help! ME!” , and as a golden I am familiar with getting special treatment. But I’m still an echo, wow. But I’m no narcissist I can’t believe I’m only now discovering this , It’s fascinating. I married a vulnerable and I found myself. How interesting, I’ve been echoing, this whole time 😢 Btw: every golden doesn’t develop NPD.
These people are evil, and vile.
234 likes MENTAL HEALTH KING🤴👱♂️🙏
Pampered and coddled kids like today’s protestors are raised to be narcs. Entitled brats who expect everyone to do as they demand.
What about “The Dangerous Case of Obiden” dude. Trump gave us zero wars, economy was well, food was affordable. Give me a break. They’re ALL narcs.
Can a hero covert narcissist be also dealing with this themselves
Mother was a narcissist on my second narcissist marriage and I'm just now understanding this is where much of my anxiety has come from .I don't care as much as I use to about disrupting the often needed peace of my narcissist relationships now I try to express my Needs and let the chips fall where they may. I still have guilt when I do pleasurable things just for Me but it's a work in progress
I am new to your channel, sent by youtube.. I was just ready to watch your video for the first time... and about 20 seconds in you show you are mentally weak by parroting the rhetoric and mental poison about Trump coming from CNN/MSNBC.. the fact that you let these propaganda networks mold your mind shows me you cant be trusted.... I stopped the video right at that point.. and Im out. Im a normal average joe... so if I left for this reason, so are hundreds of others. Craig, try to think for yourself and not from what CNN tells you to think.
You watch the news?
They are
Sometimes yes. Not always.
Having witnessed fearless multimillion dollar grant fraud, shameless creation of fake nonprofits and virtual worlds to justify their illegal illusions, i believe a high percentage of Narcissists of every genre are part of an organized crime ring commiting grant fraud in the billions and strip mining communities of enrichment, commodities, resources and Worse! Google : Nancy and Zach New TANF fraud Mississippi, they even stole from St. Jude patients only to blow millions on steak house dinners, private jets to concerts, celebrity drug rehab,.payrolled pro wrestlers, etc. All while stripping working Mississippi families from daycare vouchers, public school's resources and worse! Google: Janet Mello - the largest government BUNCO scheme ever spent on designer purses and vintage cars instead of 4H programs for military families. These are tips of rhe iceberg becasue the scheme is taught at leadership workshops, sorority conventions, Trump/ GOP fish frys and Democrat potlucks. The former opponents have united to form a money laundering beast.
It seems when love/attention/praise is tied to performance, when it's conditional, someone could develop a false self to get this same hit later in life. Almost like wiring the brain for addiction. I love how you equate narcissists with addicts in other vids - I think that's so apt and useful esp for realizing there's nothing we can do to help, and that we're often enabling, until they want to change. Really appreciate your channel! Saving up for the day I can afford therapy with you 😂 but for now your vids are so helpful
With an angry in rage narc there is no way of saying lets take a break. They need to win and control. I try but it gets twisted to I started it. And then the wrath.
The break is for you. They don't have to agree. You're just stating your intention.
This discussion was great, but I think the real problem we need to address is the poltergeist in Dr Malkin's house.
These videos are so illuminating! My brother and I grew up an abusive family, I believe my grandmother had BPD or NPD, and my mother has severe trauma and also a BPD diagnosis. My brother became an abusive narcissist (his psychiatrist says he has BPD with narcissistic traits), and I became an alcoholic (sober 9 years now) and struggled with ADHD and ASD, now getting treatment. I wonder why one sibling developed narcissism and the other didn't? When I was in active addiction I showed narcissistic behaviours like selfishness and denial, but I went through intensive 12 step work and therapy and am a lot better (but must still watch my triggers which have led to abusive behaviour in the past - something which I have worked on in earnest as I couldn't face the thought of becoming like the people who hurt me and took my childhood). At 42 years old I've finally gotten the courage and wherewithal to un-enmesh and walk away from them. I have a wonderful husband and good friendships with healthy people.
You will find out what a covert narcissit is once you marry her. She will take off the mask and divorce.
Thanks for this explanation. Particularly differentiating between covert narcissism and behaviors associated with psychopathic narcissism - and providing articles.
yup. nail on the head. i couldn't figure it out. i was feeling bad like i was rejecting him...but it didnt feel genuine. this describes it perfectly. the reaction to anything but "yes" tells it ALL.
I don't think it's a good idea to call what is criminal activity ("bullying"). This term should be reserved for minors in a school yard from where it originated . My workplace & everyone in it survived over 3 decades of abuse including life threatening situations set up to look like accidents. When this folowed me after leaving my employer , I got the police involved , & years later it's still under investigation .
What about those who are covert but become extremely overt during a conflict? They are frightening. Is this gear-switching typical?
The covert are given to passive/aggressive behavior, but they are every bit as dangerous and toxic as the overt, if not more so.
@@randy_cbc8811 I learned it the hard way. I think teaching our children to "give them the benefit of the doubt" and "all deserve a second chance" should be seriously reassessed.
Your ex/current boyfriend isn't "a Narc": you've just been spending too much time on the internet.
They love everyone else’s money, but lie when they have it. Such horrible people.
Is there a correlation between echoism and cluster c personality disorder or other clustets of petsonality?I know that narcisistic traits are parts of cluster B.could it be of help if we relate echoism with special types of personality? How a couple with echoistic and narcisrstic traits can get along with eachother?
Your appearance is completely unprofessional, VERY low class. Having your crew necked t-shirt show underneath your shirts is gross, very low class and unprofessional. Wearing a v-neck t-shirt over a crew necked t-shirt is beyond low class. When you present yourself in an extremely unprofessional manner, you make it less likely that people will take what you have to say seriously, go through your work with a fine toothed comb, looking for reasons to dismiss it. If I needed a therapist, I DEFINITELY would not see you... because of your unprofessional conduct.
Beginning with the Human Potential Movement, we've been over-pathologizing mental issues. People can't be garden variety a-holes any more. It's developmentally appropriate for teens to be more than a bit self-centered. Moreover, we are not asking ourselves if the behavior or trait that they are observing is situational or is it fundamental to that person's nature or character. I have seen something similar to this when it comes to autism--where people are quick to say that someone is autistic who might not be. I'm from Princeton, when there were plenty of Professor Einstein stories. My father had the honor of fixing his radio. Those in the autistic community claim that Dr Einstein was autistic. NO WAY. Prof Dr Einstein had an IQ of over 150. When it comes to Prof Dr Einstein's "eccentric" behavior, I think it's better understood through the lens of Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities. It's well known that there are significant structural differences in the brains of people who are profoundly gifted, as Dr Einstein definitely was, when compared to people whose IQ is in the 125-135 range. Dr Einstein was a voracious reader. He won TWO Nobel Prizes: Physics and Peace. He was a skilled diplomat--as shown by the fact he won the Nobel Peace Prize and was invited to be the first president of Israel. He turned that down (demonstrating self awareness). He was an avid amateur musician; a very good violinist. He was a fine sailor. He was a polymath. IHe generally shows good and appropriate eye contact when photographed, whether it is a group picture or alone. He was unsuccessful in love, in that he married twice and divorced twice. A trove of personal letters from Prof Dr Einstein came to light showing that, on some level, he could be a kind and understanding father. Yes, there are some profoundly gifted people who are also autistic. However, it's more likely that a profoundly gifted student will be diagnosed with autism, because Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities do intersect with autism. A skilled clinical psychologist who works with profoundly gifted will know how to differentiate between autism and Dabrowski's Overexcitabilities.
Thank you, Dr. Malkin, for this video. Of all the information I've encountered, yours is the most empathetic, and I believe persons with NPD or narcissistic tendencies should get empathy. I'd be grateful, though, if therapists would educate the public more about how unrecognizable a covert narcissist might become during a conflict, especially if there is a sociopathic streak and they are a public persona. Most of us will not know what to make of the extreme reaction, and so may exacerbate the situation with potentially dire consequences. I think people should get more tools on how to navigate a conflict with these individuals since it is where their true character comes to light.
This is a VERY important presentation!!!!!
Thank you for speaking on denial that is very helpful. I left my 20 year pathological relationship 3 months ago, it took me two years to escape the abuse and it became unsafe and very scary. He was so gentle and kind but lied all the time, then we moved away from family and I saw this side of him that was shocking! He was seeking attention from 20 year younger women and making them feel uncomfortable and yet he continued. He gaslighted me and blamed me. He has convinced everyone who doesn’t really know me that I was the controlling one, and narcissist and he was so good that he still had them believing after I got a restraining order and he had to wear a GPS because of his behavior. I remember for so long crying begging him to please stop, and he told me lost empathy for me because “I was yelling all the time” he thought boundaries where to control him. I know I am a catch and now I find myself in deep pain that I let someone like that in my life. I see a lawyer today to start the divorce proceedings and I am ready to heal. ❤
You sir, are doing a disservice to mankind. You should have your credentials revoked.
Explain why
I very much appreciate it when you ask the exercise question at the end of a video. It certainly isn't comfortable to contemplate the answers, but wow does it lead to some insight. If only I could go the next step and challenge those feelings. Life is hard.
This was helpful 😊