I’ve come to appreciate my success in failing And I practice selfish altruism….it makes me feel good

The young child already quietly depicts how the narc mother used to treat her husband. The child had the close opportunity to learn the specific spectrum of narc behavior as „the family’s standard“, how to cope with it, how to manage to survive, even before he becomes the mothers object of mental incest. Typicaly such child will later feel uncertain and have difficulties in discerning between beeing subject or object, that, I would see as the ultimate damage to the child in the later adult, even beyond echoismus.

Thank you so much for your work. I've been looking for decades to understand what was wrong with me. Know I know, and it will help me tremendously. Thank you =)

Yup, got all of 'em.

@generic_account2138

4 ай бұрын

High five? I hope this doesn't embarrass you. ok...forget it....sorry Oh man

When parents and grandparents feel you need to be like other people making you feel like you're not good enough! Thank you for this!!

So if one had a narcissistic mother for example, this would/might lead to echoism as a survival mechanism?

@nicholashildenbrand8632

Жыл бұрын

Yes, absolutely. There is no other way to survive as a child unless you're getting love somewhere else.

@AbileneRussell

6 ай бұрын

My mother is a narcissist Just found out about echoism yesterday. I

Precise analysis as always. Thank you.

I have a professional Masters (90 graduate hours) plus an additional 30 graduate hours. Over my 84 years I've had 3 very successful careers but the stress in each calling plus the attention and promotions made me feel more and more inadequate. I expected to fail any day. The pressure Sadly, I was alwaysThe was always the stress of my success in each calling plus the attention and promotions I received Imade for such unease that

@cht2162

2 ай бұрын

What I wanted to express was that an understanding of 'Echoism' 65 years ago would have helped me be more secure. I've spent my life with a low octane ego. My score was 45.

Thess videos are so great! I know the research on echoism is growing but I can't find much on coping with others who may have echoism especially for parents who may have this trait and how to build healthy relationships with them as a child and as an adult child. What are the effects of echoism on relationships with others who do or do not have this adaptation? Could you talk more on these resources if there is more information)?

7×7s ok, now how to improve myself just enough so that these traits dont annoy anyone. 😬🙄

With the impact of both parents being narcissistic, what's the affect of echoism when your autistic?

Dr. Malkin, If I got this right, the first of the seven echoism-indicating statements was “Compliments make me uncomfortable,” and the seventh of these statements was “I find it hard to enjoy compliments.” Could you please explain how these two statements differ? Or perhaps the two statements essentially mean the same thing, and including both is a way of adding weight to that concept in the overall score? Thanks! Thanks also for all your interesting and insightful videos.

@CraigMalkin

Жыл бұрын

We do this all the time in research measures. You need some overlap to create a reliable instrument. At the same time there’s nuance. Just because someone’s *not* uncomfortable with attention or complements doesn’t mean they enjoy them. Reverse is also true.

@jeannefarrar621

Жыл бұрын

@@CraigMalkin Thank you.

I guess an echoist may fear identifying themselves as an echoist for fear doing so would be narcissistic?

Does a partner look more like a narcissist if the other is an echoist?

What’s the best way to treat this? I find it really hinders my life and stops me going for promotions and being seen. I thought it was attachment based but I find that explanation frustrating and limited as I often turn up secure in other areas in my life. I guess if I had this I’d probably have a different view of security as well.

@rachelbartlett1970

Ай бұрын

Short of finding a trauma-informed therapist, make friends. Sincerely make an effort to see friends daily if you can. Experiencing sane, healthy, supportive people who cheer you on is unbelievably healing. I was ridiculously lucky; I have found the NYC equivalent of "Cheers" in my neighborhood, 'where everybody knows your name', and they're always glad I came XD

Could psychedelics like 5meoDMT help cure echoism?

@rachelbartlett1970

Ай бұрын

Set an intention before a trip. Get a book like "How to do the work", and systematically work through your problems. You have to do the actual work alongside microdosing. I managed to reset my emotional range, lessened my RBF, learnt to initiate physical touch, become warmer and lighter etc. Psychedelics alone are helpful, but it's much more effective if you do the actual work while tripping.

It seems there are only 5 as there is a duplication of compliments and attention getting. Unless I missed some nuances in there?

@CraigMalkin

Жыл бұрын

Slight overlap but not equivalent statements, correct-some nuance

I'm a 6. Reminds me of Ross 😅

Oh crap ... A+ 😬

47 😔

You didn't define echoism.

@CraigMalkin

Жыл бұрын

I define echoism in the first 60 seconds or so concisely, backed by research, and the entire video is about defining features of echoism from the Echoism measure. I’m not sure I understand your comment.

Dude FICX your sound.. the intro music is AWFUL and much too loud.

Does a partner look more like a narcissist if the other is an echoist?

@m0L3ify

10 ай бұрын

No. You could be an echoist and have an outgoing partner who's just comfortable with receiving attention and advocating for themselves, but who is also kind, considerate, and empathetic. While echoists and narcissists might reinforce their respective traits and exaggerate them when they're together, each can be assessed in isolation. You either are or you aren't one of those two, regardless of who you're with. But separate them and put them with healthy people and the echoist isn't going to make other people look narcissistic. Out of context, the healthy partner will seem normal and the echoist will simply seem shy.