It's a disability, but it doesn't show, so you get blamed instead of getting helped

@micanikko

Жыл бұрын

thank you for saying that. that helps a lot

@costelinha1867

Жыл бұрын

So true. I spent my entire life being called lazy, when in reality it was just me being autistic.

@martenj94

Жыл бұрын

So true. Really hoping my meds work.

@The1stPurpleCat

9 ай бұрын

I finally was able to go to a professional for getting diagnosed with ADHD and/or autism. They told me I: • didn’t fidget enough • got straight As so I’m too smart • I did their mind puzzles well so I couldn’t have ADHD or autism They even revoked my diagnosis for major depression because I “didn’t look sad”. A lady who only saw me for 2 hours to play little puzzles decided she knew how painful my life is. Who cares that I struggle with this stuff 24/7? Who cared if I spend from 3pm til 10pm or later to do homework because of this, if I’m not a bother in class and have good grades? Every time I take the paper test for ADHD or autism, they *always* say “You scared wayyyyyy too high for someone who’s not ADHD or autistic… but you are one point off, so we can’t diagnose you.” For example, this means a test with 17 possible points only diagnoses you if you score 13 or more. Someone who is not ADHD or autistic normally score between 1-3. I get 12 over and over. And I talk to them about my struggles and reasonings why I might have something. But no. I got a 12, not 13. So I can’t have it. They don’t even take into consideration that I have social anxiety and generalized anxiety, which causes me to mask a lot, like my life depends on it; so of course I’m gonna score a little lower. I thought I was a bad person for not being able to do my work like normal people since I was 6. I am a very hard worker and a perfectionist and a people pleaser, which only made it hurt my self esteem more when I just… *couldn’t*. I didn’t realize there was a word for it until I was 18. Imagine hating yourself for that long without having any answers to how to make it better? And how much worse it was when someone told you that you can’t have that because of your perfectionism, hard working-ness, and need to please people; all of these things you built around yourself to try and hide that part of you that you hate is now preventing you from getting the help you need to fix it. I think I’ll do much better in my life once I’m not in school/college, and when my depression gets better. Meanwhile, I’m still learning more “techniques” that help people with ADHD and autism so I can try to help myself to the best of my ability. And I’m learning not to hate myself for being the way I am, and for not getting straight As.

@gen2mediainc.577

9 ай бұрын

True. My parents and I are currently in agreement that it is more than just being lazy and that I clearly have so much motivation and drive but am stuck unable to do anything with it before it burns out. We are trying to get recommendations from a psychiatrist since medication is pretty much the only thing that can control something so self-fulfilling. I am beyond fucking frustrated because this stupid disorder has destroyed my work/life balance completely for the entirety of my late teenage years (the only part of my life where I have the motivation and choice to create a stable and healthy work/life balance) and I am going to be genuinely more hateful than I have ever felt the need to be if I lose every last second of this time knowing I was cheated. I am okay with being permanently and incurably different, I am okay with wasting time, neither of those detract from the fact that I have lived, but this does. The one thing I cannot fucking stand, with all my fortunate life has allowed me to escape, is when I am denied the ability to even TRY. That is a true waste. I will not have some fucking indescribable overarching thing flipping switches and being untouchable. Let the world choose who I am, let the government, let me being lazy, those things are real, they are things that contribute to the experience of life. This thing is not worth the space it takes, and yet it does not take any space. It destroys what has not even been created. Executive dysfunction is an aberration to the law of things. It is even so in the most nihilistic or cynical perspectives on that law.

*Unlocks phone to set alarm*…wait what was I doing again?

@kmcq692

Жыл бұрын

Exactly! Don’t get me started about all the data protection devices on my healthcare websites! Getting confronted with so many redundant text-heavy emails and webpages when I’m just trying to find out about an upcoming appointment or even make an appointment or communicate with my doctor! It’s insane! And I can’t even cut and paste just the relevant info into an app I know how to navigate so I can edit, read it, put it in my calendar, or send to a friend! Driving me crazy that they made it so challenging to do the simplest thing out of some kind of fear of a data breach. I wonder if I can change my preferences or something.

@lianha

Жыл бұрын

@@kmcq692 for real though lol everyone is always like “just check your email/make the appointment/set a reminder” I’m like bruh you have literally no idea how exhausting that is sometimes

@TheFakeyCakeMaker

Жыл бұрын

I feel seen! 😂

@notaburneraccount

9 ай бұрын

Yes 😅

@salemccc

4 ай бұрын

Literally me 😭😭😭😭

executive dysfunction is literally ruining my life

@Super_Scooter_Happy

8 ай бұрын

Same here. I have that thought often. "ADHD/executive dysfunction is ruining my life" 😔 at least we're not alone..

@nucleasff9622

6 ай бұрын

​@@Super_Scooter_Happyur not alone I am also but ritalin is not helping it😢

@Super_Scooter_Happy

6 ай бұрын

@@nucleasff9622 I tried Ritalin and 🙅🙅 It really did not help.. It made no difference for me

5 ай бұрын

same but not really. we should team up and work together and get it all done I know it would happen

5 ай бұрын

I agree I'm the same but not really if we team up we can get things done but we have to work on things separately but it can be done we just have to team up

The only problem I have with reminders is, I’ll get irritated and shut them off or ignore them. I’m terrible about time. I really haven’t found a good way to manage things just yet.

@juliej2263

Жыл бұрын

I agree. I have to limit alarms and reminders to my most important priorities. If I overuse alarms on my phone, I'll just snooze, turn off and ignore them. I'm still trying to find ways to manage everything else.

@noyomama

10 ай бұрын

Same here I'll let things get piled up until I can't take the guilt anymore.

@Crazyclay78YT

9 ай бұрын

Yeah exact same here, I have a problem with my parents telling me to brush my teeth and me thinking "damn if I need a root canal I have to pay for it" and I know that I REALLY should and it's in my best interest, but especially if I'm in the middle of something, I'll just say ok and then just forget about it. And it got to the point that I set a reminder for every day at 9:30 and I still just see the reminder and say "oh yeah I gotta do that" and then continue on

@ZippyVtuber

6 ай бұрын

Saaaame

5 ай бұрын

I just snooze all my reminders til its all done.

I'm glad all the comments all agree. I think many people who struggle with executive dysfunction are told to set reminders or break things down. and we've tried our best to. But... that still feels like a task. So in a lot of cases we end up feeling worse, because it adds to the "this is easy/simple so why can't I do it" kind of feeling. Ugh what we need is acceptance and understanding 😔 I wish everyone out there good luck

@fenanluvsummer

3 ай бұрын

yeah and it is so draining, my brain is telling me to one task and my body wants to be glued on that task.

I'm currently considering breakfast, but its been like 2 hours now. It's strange having this problem because I've already done my day at Uni and now I just can't bring myself to get up and make food and eat it.

@BittersweetBoys

7 ай бұрын

I struggle with this too. Take care of my ten hour work days and yet can’t bring myself to do the things I want for myself 😅

I was doing way better before smartphones and constant access to distraction 😖

Sure, break down tasks. But like you said, feeling glued to one place and can't get started. No matter how small the task. How do you make that transition?

But overthinking makes it harder and set time activities gives me anxiety. Even if it’s fit my favorite thing like doing jigsaw puzzles 😭😭😭

@fenanluvsummer

3 ай бұрын

yeah and like simple things that people can do in a snap: schoolwork, hygiene etc. i hate this sm

Yes so I just showed this to my mom, and she said "those things happen to everyone you're just lazy" so i dont think I'm getting a diagnosis

Thank you for making a video short enough for me to pay attention

As an ENTJ I feel ashamed that I deal with this even to a small degree. The first point about physically moving from one place to another to continue tasks is the big one for me. It’s gotten better with time as I’ve improved in my Te, but especially since I’m generally low energy, I can’t always make myself do things even I know should be doing. Thank you for this video, God bless y’all

i recently got diagnosed with it and it makes so much more sense cause growing up all my teachers would say i have a hard time focusing and doing school work

Just hearing the word “reminder on your phone” stressed me out.. I need help lol

Omg couldn’t be more real to me😭

Currently trying to find a way I can manage this to complete my last year of highschool. Pretty much every year of my schooling life starts on a good note and then ends with me struggling to do anything at all because my executive dysfunction gets so bad. I've always been the smart student who "doesn't work hard enough to meet her potential" when really I'm working twice as hard just to meet the standard, and it has nothing to do with my intellect. I completed my last grade over two years because I knew one year simply wasn't enough for me to accomplish my goals, and I still ended on a bad note... I apologise for ranting. It is so hard, and very few people can even comprehend it without putting the blame on you for being 'lazy' or not 'disciplined enough', and the amount of internal issues that has caused alone is enough to write a book about. I wish executive dysfunction was labelled as a disability. So many students struggle with this and don't even know it and it destroys so many opportunities..

I have Anxiety & think I might have ASD, & when assignments r broken into more and more parts, it feels really overwhelming, like the assignment is bigger & bigger, even if most of it is just "pre-planning/outlines" or "drafts," & I'm constantly yelled at by my family, & shamed by them for being "lazy." Rn I have an assignment for my Intro 2 Theatre class that I can't start, or at least, I can't start the hands-on portion of it, like I can't w/ most classes w/ active/hands-on assignments. What do I do now???🙄

@Crazyclay78YT

9 ай бұрын

Yeah the same thing is happening to me. In my 1st and 2nd hour I have presentations, and knowing my 1st hour teacher of course her deadline was 2 weeks ago and we still haven't presented, but idk when we will present and its still not done and I know I need to finish it, but the lack of a due date now is really not helping my motivation. In both classes, we had to do drafts, and then a peer review, and then an edited version, and then the final version. Oh yeah my 2nd hour presentation is a FIVE TO SIX PAGE PAPER. The most we have ever done in high school was 2 pages, and in ap last year they did 3. Its the first big assignment of the year and it's not feeling great. Home/class work is only worth 10% of our grade overall so there's no real point in doing the work when you can also retake a test as many times as you want. Idk I feel like my school is just setting my up for failure

That was so relieving to press Subscribe button for this channel

Looking fabulous Rebecca ❤

Hello! Thank you very much!

Hooray! The trifecta!

Something that really helps me is to have someone sit with me while I do a task. We both know I'm supposed to be doing the thing, and they could be doing something else next to me, or talking to me, depending on what it is. It's called body-doubling. This is usually the most effective thing but obviously it doesn't always work when no one is available or they need their own space. Alternatively, I will listen to podcasts, books, or music. Listening to things while I get ready in the morning helps a lot. I noticed a lot of people just saying how breaking things down and reminders don't actually help them haha Breaking things into smaller chunks helps when it feels like a vast and vague thing I need to do, like get caught up on schoolwork, can be helpful, but if I'm breaking something more concrete into smaller chunks, sometimes it can make it more overwhelming because it feels like there's more steps. But I have OCD so that's probably also why this easily overwhelms me haha Reminders can help, but it depends on what it is bc if it is a daily reminder, I stop noticing it after a while. Sometimes I will change the name of my morning alarm the night before when there's a task I need to do soon after I get up (like doing laundry before I shower) -- sometimes using emojis so it looks different visually than usual so I actually notice it -- bc I know I'll be too sleepy to remember the next day. I think reminders can be useful when it's something I don't have the brain space to keep track of, but I can't rely on it bc if I don't have enough space to keep track of it, I might not have the space to pay attention when it goes off and then I have to keep resetting the alarm for an hour later. They can be useful though when you have to remember to do something with or for someone else though. I definitely have trouble starting tasks or switching tasks once my brain is in the flow of doing one thing and trying to do another. OCD makes it hard to prioritize tasks. They all feel loud and important and like if I do them wrong or not in the most ergonomical order, something bad will happen.

I only have the starting thing.... also I pretty much suck at all things... i work in construction... taking bathrooms apart.. and i still manage to F things up.... when i hear people talking about dreams i usually call BS on it because of the failures that go with it so i don't believe in having dreams...

This sooo me. I need help

I have a weird theory about this. And it has to do with modern day living. I feel like people who I know experiencing this too have been in situations where there could potentially be a lot of punishment or threats for doing things. Sitting down and being quiet being praised so damn much that, the body conditions us that not moving is the safest thing. Hours and hours in school, church, reprimanded for playing etc… I really think this has to be at least partially to do with it. And I’m sure there’s more with brain functioning too, but why would our brains even begin to function like that unless there was some kind of fear attached to movement? And safety attached to non movement? Ya know?

@veronickaw.4778

Ай бұрын

I think you're on to something 🧐

As a survivor of TBI, I know that we all have executive functioning capabilities. When there is a brain abnormality that affects executive functioning, it creates really difficult problems. Your set of EF skills can be affected. Planning, prioritizing, focusing, remembering instructions, multitasking, intrusive distractions of our attention, impulsiveness, self control, emotional control. It's a really hard thing to explain. It would be nice if that was understandable by others.

❤

Thanks a LOT for you video

@dr.beckyspelman

4 ай бұрын

You are most welcome

Ok, so i have 4 alarms going off every day on my phone that I keep snoozing throughout the day. Now I just have a computer nagging me, annoying me. No additional motivation.

Yup am writing my thesis 2 years instead of 1 and I didn’t even start the process till 1 year passed. Now am stuck in the middle and have 4 months to finish and am afraid that…😢

@thersten

Ай бұрын

How are you doing with your thesis?

We get picked on for overly multitasking.

Me while watching: I hear two "number 3"

Executive dysfunction is a difficulty, more complete disability in my case.

So… my life?

This is my problem, I thought I had ADHD but I took the test and no, and they told me to test for autism but I don't think I'm autistic. What is considered as having anxiety and is there any other explanation for executive dysfunction?

@koala6886

6 ай бұрын

Executive dysfunction is not just restricted to adhd and autism. It’s common in people all over the neurodivergent spectrum.

My friend has even worse mentall illness and trauma than I do, and he said it's supposedly "NOT normal" to unironically, genuinely, 100% through and through favor the idea of getting hit by a car over doing a bit of schoolwork And even wierder, he says it's NOT just me being a wuss and it really is my disorder's fault and I'm NOT a defective waste???? Like???? Beating myself up WON'T help me shut up???? Like that's crazy and I kinda doubt him but ok I guess

@Super_Scooter_Happy

8 ай бұрын

.... We might have the same life

@norM_ystical

8 ай бұрын

@@Super_Scooter_Happy omg- ok wait just out of curiosity. what kinds of assignments are most often a trigger?? like, essays?

@Super_Scooter_Happy

8 ай бұрын

ESSAYS 100%

@Super_Scooter_Happy

8 ай бұрын

And also anything creative.. like "do whatever you want with this part!!" 😭😭 I CAN'T DECIDE

@norM_ystical

8 ай бұрын

@@Super_Scooter_Happy OH MY GOSH!! SAME! LITERALLY i know this is kinda tone deaf cuz it causes unbearable pain but like,, im in a good mood and like, FINALLY having SOMEONE to relate to feels nice,, RAGHH and it sucks cuz i do have creative hobbies!! i draw sometimes, so now im supposed to be able to draw anything anywhere anytime?? 😭 and im a good writer WHICH SUCKS CUZ IT ENCOURAGES THEM TO SAY "oh but ur sooo good!!!" WHY DOES MY INTELLIGENCE MATTER MORE THAN MY WILL TO LIVE DUDE,,

Play Games, like soduko I think it might help “concentration skills”

1 and 2 like opposites.

Mtt 11:28 “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.”

I need a curse, not a cope

Executive disfunction arises in bpd as well it a isdue in conversations should i speak should i kerp quiet are people upset with ne little nuisences in conversation ie its raining cats snd dogs still has me stumped ive sll my life found hard to keep to timings for recipes so i have mostly frozen ready meals my poir mum when i cared for her before she died she once said to a doctor when she was in hospital its veen great in here to get all my neals at same time he said what do you nean mum said when she vooks mesning me i will get veg first then potatoes then neat last housework was a very big isdue still is. Even though im in a independent living scheme i have a app that remind me when there due a clock that speaks as i disdociate and. Forget /confused over time day i dont think things in that area gave been right from being young ive got bpd and proble autism

Driven to distraction

Procrastination

I only have the starting thing.... also I pretty much suck at all things... i work in construction... taking bathrooms apart.. and i still manage to F things up.... when i hear people talking about dreams i usually call BS on it because of the failures that go with it so i don't believe in having dreams...

I only have the starting thing.... also I pretty much suck at all things... i work in construction... taking bathrooms apart.. and i still manage to F things up.... when i hear people talking about dreams i usually call BS on it because of the failures that go with it so i don't believe in having dreams...