So I’m a quiet extrovert 🤔 I love being around people and it gives me life but I enjoy listening rather than speaking

@bradhart3787

Жыл бұрын

I bet ladies love that 💯😂😅

@funkymonkey8308

Жыл бұрын

I'm a social introvert

@TheListener22

Жыл бұрын

Keep that mentality. You have two ears and one mouth for a reason.

@sozeytozey

Жыл бұрын

@@TheListener22 So i guess the fact that you have 10 fingers is why you feel the need to type unnecessary shit like that, huh? Dude just said he's quiet, he wasn't asking for life advice.

@xe2014

Жыл бұрын

@@TheListener22 yes, to detect danger. Not to listen to your bullshit.

For me, my interactions depend completely on the person I'm interacting with. Certain people give me energy when I interact with them, and with others it feels like every second is sucking the life out of me.

@deceptOG

Жыл бұрын

I feel that's the reality most people live in, I know it's the same for me at least.

@IPH-1212

Жыл бұрын

and thats why i'm introverted in every social situation except when i'm with my good friends of many years

@20cs65

Жыл бұрын

Frrrrr

@jootpepet

Жыл бұрын

​​@@IPH-1212 y'all still dont get it lol. Both extroverts and introverts feel that way. You're just talking about comfort level. Thats not how it works.

@katizzle92

Жыл бұрын

Exactly. That's why I don't really understand why people still try to differentiate between the two. Especially really smart people like Andrew Huberman. Pretty much everyone is an ambivert just depends on who we are around.

That makes sense. I'm usually talkative and energetic in social situations, but I am exhausted after and I usually have to recluse back to isolation pretty quickly. Loud introvert.

@ika7989

Жыл бұрын

YESH.

@augustmcleod93

Жыл бұрын

Yeah I'm the same

@LadyJoolree

Жыл бұрын

Ditto. The term Ambivert has been used for us too.

@bbbbbbb51

Жыл бұрын

​@@LadyJoolree that's not ambiversion though. It's just a sociable introvert.

@emmyrose333

Жыл бұрын

Same. It feels like a mask.

I grew up my whole life thinking i was an introvert because my family put that label on me. Dysfunctional family life made me feel uncomfortable and then they assumed I liked to be quiet. This caused me to he unconfident growing up. I had pretty much no friends or social life and thought I should get into tech or a role that disnt require much interaction because of this. Once I got older I realized I was the total opposite. As I got away from my family and grew to be more confident I realized I was amazing with people and genuinely enjoyed interacting with them. I did per-sue tech, but now sit within a sales role and absolutely love it. I go crazy if I go the whole day without a meeting or presentation. To this day, my family still assumes I’m introverted. I only bring this up because you have to make sure you’re not being limited by the definitions other people give you. I was being told I was quiet and so I started to act like it.

Thank you! I'm very charismatic and energetic so people assume I'm super extroverted but social interaction is pretty taxing on me. I prefer to be left alone or brief conversations that are to the point.

@DaniShugs

Жыл бұрын

Scott, I know the feeling! You just described me perfectly.

@firstname1317

Жыл бұрын

Same but I prefer when the other person in the conversation talks more. I love learning about other people. It’s exhausting carrying conversations all the time or being elected to speak/host/entertain because I’m good at it. I have to learn how to set boundaries lol

@stellbanne

Жыл бұрын

That part of brief conversations that are to the point! That part.

@marhki

Жыл бұрын

Yess! Very brief on pointed conversations will do for me! 😂

@dannellecarroll

9 ай бұрын

I feel so seen 😭 and you’ve been this bubbly person all your life so u feel like that’s what’s expected and oh my god u get a second alive to breathe and WOW u wish u hadn’t started out so hot 😂 it’s hard to keep up!

Don't confuse bad social skills with being introvert

@docbainl9504

Жыл бұрын

Yep most of us are pretty good at socialising we wear the mask and take it off. It's just so depleting to be around everyone.

@Eleventyeleventh

Жыл бұрын

Autism has joined the chat

@dbbdbdbdbd599

Жыл бұрын

@@docbainl9504 plus some people that aren't good at socializing and don't have friends or gf they think they are introverted, speaking from experience

@denk5342

Жыл бұрын

They are synonymous lol

@dbbdbdbdbd599

Жыл бұрын

@@denk5342 being introvert means you don't want to be with others, bad social skills means u cant

I'm an introverted extrovert, everyone believes I'm a social butterfly but social interactions drain me and I need my own company to recover.

Absolutely. I can appear extroverted (I can lead and carry on conversations without any awkwardness), but after a while, I just need a break from people. I recharge when I'm alone.

@tracyumoffa5387

Жыл бұрын

Same.....after a party....I stay indoor for a week 2 recharge....had 2 pick all my classes 2 fall on d same day ( 10am to 7pm) till next week😊😊😊😊

@ladivinasophia5321

6 ай бұрын

Me too

People at my work told me I'm very quiet and I don't talk much but I hear their conversations/gossips and I don't want to engage. It's just not me.

@bobholyoake8577

Жыл бұрын

Exactly

@Lukyan

Жыл бұрын

No reason to splash around in the shallow puddles that are people when you can swim in the vast ocean of your own mind.

@robertbruce4381

Жыл бұрын

​@Lukyan I just wish I can bring some people into my mind and share these thoughts. But majority of society is too focused on irrelevant gabbing.

@robertbruce4381

Жыл бұрын

Swimming alone gets boring.

@AuraysTimelessChannel

Жыл бұрын

​@Robert Bruce Exactly. Irrelevant gabbing is the worst and it seems to be 95% of the conversations being had. People are afraid to say the wrong thing.

I feel either energized or depleted depending on the type of interaction.

I’m just selective with what i talk and who i talk to. I don’t engage in gossip at work :)

Me in a nutshell. I am a sales consultant. I negotiate and participate in mental and verbal jujitsu all day; but when my day is over, I clam up - sometimes avoiding phone calls and/or people because I just don’t want to talk. No one understands it, no matter how many times I try and explain it.

@Lost_Hermetics

Жыл бұрын

I can feel ya bud, sales professional here, even iv been at managerial level positions for couple last years, that price negotiations wannabe "business smart" suppliers and "manipulating" evil , nonloyal customers oh, also verbal brawls every minute.. gosh all those frustrates me on a daily, man i hated doing this job but i can do it better than others without any efforts, naturally.. i should had followed my dreams and became a DJ man, still regrettin..😂

@45below1

Жыл бұрын

@@Lost_Hermetics lol. Dude… nothing like in the world. Depressing, frustrating, irritating and at the end of the day, a brother just wants peace and quiet…

@Lost_Hermetics

Жыл бұрын

@@45below1 hahahahah i can feel ya aswell brother 💎🙏

Understanding whether you’re energised by interacting with others or when you’re alone is a key to life

@SamStone1964

Жыл бұрын

I'm both.

Yeeeeessss man! Im talkative but also extremely introverted 😢 I have a hard time explaining this to people…

@alexandrugajin763

Жыл бұрын

Thing is, you have to develop your sense of knowing when you can share your thoughts with someone and when you shouldn't. And ask yourself without taking it personaly, if they care to listen to you in the first place. You have to be sure that whatever you feel like sharing with others is something wich you deeply understand. And you have to fillter it, basicly translate your mind for their ears. Otherwise people will just think you're crazy.

@tylernelson8917

Жыл бұрын

Well I’m with ya Marie don’t feel alone haha. I can be very talkative then I leave and I’m like why did I say this. That sounded not how I wanted it to. Oh noooooo why did I word it like that haha. Then the next day I don’t want to leave and go anywhere cause it entails talking to more people

@lauramatos1181

Жыл бұрын

I’m exactly like Marie and Tyler in this regard 😦😁 & it seems to me that people usually enjoy it but I definitely go home at times and overthink everything I’ve said in certain conversations, I would like to be better at knowing when to speak and how to not overshare!

@alexandrugajin763

Жыл бұрын

@@lauramatos1181 Listen more, observe more, refrain from gossip and speaking about people, at least don't talk things wich you wouldn't say them to their face. Make some rules, work on yourself, there is no such thing as "i would like to be better". Just be. Is like going to a gym, you start with the light stuff first. I think this need of talking alot comes because we want to feel accepted. But really, we must accept ourselfs first before anyone else. And to do that, we need to work on developing our characters. And most importantly, i would say, is to not follow your impulses, those always come from emotions and they rarely end good.

@thechiefwildhorse4651

Жыл бұрын

@@alexandrugajin763 All of you are way too young to be giving advice lol -COMANCHE NATION

I’m a very social introvert. I was raised to be polite, keep conversation moving, appear invested in the other person at all times, be alert, attentive, caring, etc. but within a minute I am so exhausted and will get home or to my car and want to collapse from being so overwhelmed and overstimulated by the interaction. Even with my loved ones, I tolerate them better when we’re silent next to each other

@mildrisplested4804

6 ай бұрын

Me😅😅😅😅😅😅

What's really interesting is when this pattern shifts, especially for autistic people. I find if I'm already overwhelmed and peopled out, every interaction (even online or even THINKING about having to interact with another person) is exhausting, and I have to sit in a dark room in silence to recover. But if I've been isolating for several days at home, not going outside, not talking to anyone and I get a chance to interact with someone (especially around a special interest), I light up and get energized.

I’m definitely a quiet extrovert. I love being in context where I’m not pressured to talk, but the invitation to talk is open based on us all enjoying the same context. I love going to small scale concerts, the skatepark, a hobby specific store, stuff like that.

@J040PL7

Жыл бұрын

The thing is, extroverts enjoy talking, they yern to be the life of the party, while introverts get drained in social interactions, extroverts get energised while around people, you can be a quiet extrovert, but even they wont deny the opportunity to be the center of attention, theyre just more at ease and dont need to be.

I’m a salesman, and if I want to make a good impression I can be very outgoing, inviting, and likeable. But nothing exhausts me more than socializing. It makes it difficult to make friends because I know if I hang out with someone, they typically want to hang out way longer than I do, and halfway through the hangout I’m just counting down the minutes/hours until I can go home and watch KZread or play games

I can speak in front of groups or even crowds but when I leave usually after a short time in attendance, I am completely wiped out… so I agree

Social interactions are dopamine taps for me. I am always the last one up at late night hang outs or parties. My body feels more awake than my brain by the end of the night. It’s a curse to watch everyone fade out while I’m just starting ramp up in engagement.

I'm an introvert with social anxiety and the tendency to always want to people please and help others feel comfortable so, I tend to get and keep the conversation going and give great, full.body responses because nobody likes a short person who can't hold a conversation. I am utterly exhausted when it's over with.

That is definitely true . For me i appear to be extraverted in social interactions but when i get out of it i feel drained and exhausted 😪

The part about getting back in the car and feeling depleted was spot on. I talk to a lot of people at uni in an effort to be a decent person but I secretly hate it and just want to be left alone.

I’m and introverted salesperson. In controlled environments, I can be more open and social. When I’m not at work I avoid most unneeded social situations and feel exhausted from the mental chess that took place. Simon Sinek said it very similar and I’ve realized I’m an introvert that has to conserve energy to handle social interactions and gain energy by relaxing in a more controlled solitary place

I feel I’m similar. I like going to parties and hanging out with a big group of friends, but just to be there and watch really. But this lack of conversation means people think I’m not interested in them and not really adding to the group so they often stop inviting me which I understand.

True. I'm an introvert and I talk a lot, but it's usually because I'm nervous or want to convince myself (and others) that I'm happier to be in the social situation than I actually am.

This is so..right on! I confuse people because they see me as bubbly at social gatherings. The more uncomfortable I feel the more bright and bubbly I can become. I have about a 2hr limit and then I am done. I need to leave and have quiet.

If it's positive interaction than I get energized, if it's negative it's exhausting..I tend to not talk much though. I enjoy watching, listening and observing.

I feel like Dr. Huberman “frees” my mind every time I listen to him. 💫

Interesting, I tend to talk a lot because I feel so pressured. I hate it tho, I feel like I need to control the narrative to avoid being awkward. At the end of the day I am completely depleted.

@urkittenmee

Жыл бұрын

Just stop talking. Silence isn't awkward if you're comfortable with yourself. Silence can be beautiful. When people just talk to talk, it's obvious and it's not genuine.

@B-W.

Жыл бұрын

Charlie I am just like you. At times, i am the most talkative person at the party. Not because i am enjoying the conversation, but because i don't know any better. I am uncomfortable, i wish i wasn't there, and as soon i return, i need several days detox. I am changing though, slowly but steadily.

@Jb-sr8kn

Жыл бұрын

@@B-W. what are the steps are you taking that you may wanna share with a fellow struggling human being in this

@dannellecarroll

9 ай бұрын

Are we all living the same lives 😭❤️‍🩹

I'm an introvert who due to the demands of life became an extrovert for my job or social circumstances. It literally depleted me and I needed complete silence and quiet time to re-charge. My Mom couldn't believe I'm truly an introvert. I made myself become an extrovert when necessary.

@CaramelSunflowers

4 ай бұрын

You were an introvert the whole time. You can't become an extrovert if you are an introvert, it's how we are born. An extrovert just gets their energy from others 24/7 - the people who have to be surrounded by others all the time. It's simply how we charge our batteries.

I used to think that I'm an introvert, but I guess I was wrong. I enjoy people and being around then, I just hate interacting with them. That's hard to explain.

@snoozebutton23

Жыл бұрын

Nah. I get you. I'm socially selective not anti-social! Sometimes at work I feel that drain coming and I go into a stand by mode where its bare minimium to get thru the day. I cant help when that happens and the moment I sit down I wanna sleep.

@Kat-zx1pj

Жыл бұрын

I'm definitely an introvert and I like big cities, crowded restaurants, people in the background don't bother me. They're like trees to me 😅.

@CFerre2000

Жыл бұрын

​@@Kat-zx1pj As long the attention from all those people does not end up on you. 😮

@Kat-zx1pj

Жыл бұрын

I don't mind attention and I'm fine with superficial interactions. I have problem with sitting throug lunch with someone I don't "resonate" with - that will drain me from energy. And similar situations.

@amalksuresh286

9 ай бұрын

You might have social anxiety.

BRO literally like two days ago one of my friends introduced me to their bestie and we all had an absolutely baller ass convo for like 3 hours but goddamn did I need to take a nap afterwards.

@dontworryiamsmurf5307

Жыл бұрын

Fat lazy nappers, hate them so much dude

@dontworryiamsmurf5307

Жыл бұрын

Nothing personal it just reminds me of my dad

I don't talk so much, but I do enjoy social interactions AND end up exhausted after it. 😂

@imajenn3006

Жыл бұрын

It's not that introverts don't like social situations, but that they can feel depleted after & 'recharge' best mostly or completely alone. I am an extrovert, and I feel energized by social interactions...but large groups can be intimidating and I only jive talking with odd ducks like me, but I can get a recharge listening.

Finally someone who said this. I speak a lot but I am always exhausted from people talking to me. I just don’t want to seem unfriendly by not talking. And I mean I try my best to engage in conversation but very few people don’t drain me within like 10 minutes of a conversation. Although a lot of the time when no one is actively talking to me I’ll just watch other people talk but even that is pretty tiring.

Crazy how I have thought that of myself for over a decade but could never put it into words. Thank you sir!

Most introverts do like social interaction - We just need to recharge in a quiet place 😅

@galpinklilyempire6905

5 ай бұрын

You are right . It is called the social introvert . There is the thinker introvert and other introvert . . .there is neuroscience redes he about it that introvert have different Brain than extrovert . We are the same but different people in understanding .

I use to be the talker. After reading several books, people don’t give a damn about what you have to say. Just Talk about them, so trust & bonding can develop. People love to talk, learn to listen or learn to act lol

Also, some people talk a lot when they're uncomfortable, and are silent when they're comfortable. A high degree of socialization might be a person trying to cope with their shyness or social anxiety.

I never thought of this. I love being around people or in their midst. But not very talkative. I’ll happily go to town just to see people, hear their conversations and enjoy people watching yet will not utter word and leave town feeling great!

I get energy from JUST being around others.

@fancimcguffin2227

Жыл бұрын

Whoa. 😂

It took me awhile to figure out I had an extroverted shell to my heavy introversion. A survival technique of sorts I guess? I can sometimes own a room, and be the most engaging talkative person there. That is not my character, and am still figuring out what triggers it. It also comes at a price. Both by complete exhaustion afterwards and when people who I’ve met for the first time see me in extroverted survival mode, see me again and I’m not in that mode, they question what’s going on.

We spend a lot of energy hiding our selves. Practicing _reasonable_ transparency; thinking, speaking & behaving in a more *presentable* (by our own estimate) way, the more at ease we are at. That’s an endless discipline. Be good & relaxed, or dual/unpresentable & ill at ease.

Exactly. So many people get it wrong nowadays. I'm an introvert but i don't mind socializing or talking to strangers. I even like going out and hanging out with people but i do feel drained afterwards

Thank you! So many people call themselves introverts just because they are awkward and anti social.

@docbainl9504

Жыл бұрын

Amen. I'm an extreme introvert and I'm not awkward I'm a great actor and appear so extroverted and confident. People always tell me you're so loud. I know they don't know shit. I'm loud because I train dogs and verbal assertion is important you're also my client so if I sat and spoke meekly would you be confident in my abilities. Of course not. Ask me outside of work if I would even give anyone the time of day. No thanks. I love me. I'm awesome and my mum taught me young. Be your own best friend. No one is better then an introvert.

@gabor6259

Жыл бұрын

Are you confusing antisocial and asocial?

@mc-si7vq

Жыл бұрын

They could still very well be an introvert 🤔

I get deplenished when I have to be social, not with friends, usually for work, after that I get quiet and silent

I get good energy from good sunlight, social walks, also quite times alone at home

I’m a quiet extrovert, especially when meeting new people. I can listen and talk, hold a conversation for a long time, but a lot of people I just don’t like being around with that don’t care about me as much I just am quiet with because why would I want to talk to them? The sad part is that most of the people I am around in my life are like that, so most of the time I am quiet and I’m not being an extrovert

So true i come across as social and confident but am completely depleted after social interactions

If youre in a party, youre not introvert

@galpinklilyempire6905

4 ай бұрын

Unless if you are an introvert that like music . Introvert depends enjoy music . Snbydy does not just introvert .

From a young age I've noticed That me being my self will subject me to a storm of shaming and mockery from my family or peers so since the age of 10 or 11 I've kept my mouth shut and joy restricted with a few pressure outlets from time to time that always involved embarrassing my self every time, now I'm 28 and I really dislike and would avoid any social gathering and I don't know how to interact with people very well and this wellful avoidance of social settings is definitely the reason why I'm a complete failure socially "no need to mention how many doors closed" Learn from my mistakes that the only way of building a strong personality is to never apologize for the real you Never be ashamed of who you are as long as what you do is not off charts with the general moral code Life is just too short to give an F about any one else but your self

Finally someone is saying something sensible about introverts and extroverts. I am an introvert and when there are lots of people around, in a social situation, I don't want to be rude, so I try to talk to everybody and have fun while doing so, but as soon as this is over, I'm completely exhausted, I am kind of in a need for break for like 2-3 days. Like just leave me alone so that I can regain my energy that I lost in all these interactions. Its not just party, I find it exhausting even to entertain 2-3 people. I need a break after every conversation and interaction.

I get a lift from social interaction for a short period of time but after a while I'll get really drained and need time alone. If I spend too much time alone I crave social connection and feel drained. It's only one person I can spend a whole day with that gives me more energy. Am I an extrovert or an introvert?

@Rosa-rm6op

Жыл бұрын

I think you are an ambivert being the both at the same time.

Only extroverts don’t already know this. Introverts can spot an introvert from miles away no matter how extroverted they are trying to appear. It’s in the eyes and body language and other little details

@spilledcoffee383

Жыл бұрын

I feel very extroverted, I'd love to have a large friend group and go out every night, I'm just at a stage rn where I have a ton of social anxiety to make that happen

@divinelyshpongled

Жыл бұрын

@@instantcurry2800 Sure for the most part me too, but the majority of people who are anxious in social situations are introverted. Of course it's not only introverts who are anxious but generally that's how it works.

@Kat-zx1pj

Жыл бұрын

I wouldn't say it's something I spot or consciously notice. Other introverts just have this specific energy I'm kind of repelled by.

As an introvert who talks too much (out of anxiety around other people), I am so glad to hear that at least someone gets it.

I’m glad he said that because I am very talkative but I’m definitely an introvert. Socialising really drains me, especially people I don’t know. I’m limited to how long I can socialise for and need to spend a lot of time alone.

Personally, I'm sick of strangers presuming I'm snobby because I'm quiet. I'm trying to smile more, but come on, give me a break. I don't feel a need to talk every minute.

i have both extremes of introvert and extrovert. i get different kinds of energy form both interactions, and i need the different energies for different mental and emotional actions or active thoughts.

@SamStone1964

Жыл бұрын

Same.

@galpinklilyempire6905

4 ай бұрын

You are an ambivert .

Holy cow i talk NON STOP, to myself, to my coworkers, to guests at the hotel i work at, my neighbors at the apartments i live at, people i pass by on the sidewalk.... And I am sooo totally a huge introvert!! I don't like to go do things, go to the store, i don't really like going outside my door if I don't have to. When I am at work, I stay in a room that is out of service, i really don't leave that room unless it's my shift. When I do, I'm friendly, i enjoy people, i really really like my coworkers and my boss is awesome! I love telling stories, the guests are from all over the world and have their own stories, i really do love what I do. And when I clock out, I am so exhausted, not from cleaning, stairs, making beds, vacuuming, stocking towels, pushing carts. It's socially draining

Makes sense. When I talk a lot among friends or others around,later I tend to feel exhausted,tired and regret about it thinking back. When I speak less and being alone,I tend to feel more energetic and content. I usually talk less but when I did, don't know why I talk too much again.

Thats cause we are usually not surrounded by ppl that can stimulate us enough or are worth the time, and effort 😢

@skinnykid8524

Жыл бұрын

that's just called narcissism.

Being extroverted or introverted doesn't have to do with being social and I'm tired of people getting them confused

@anthonygarcia8749

Жыл бұрын

regardless it's still a stupid concept. and it does technically have to do with being social because it focuses on how you need to recharge your batteries AFTER a social interaction.

@josephdavis7189

Жыл бұрын

Oh thanks. I guess I’ll just listen to the neuro scientist and not you though.

@derrickshowproductions3010

Жыл бұрын

​​​@@josephdavis7189 nah he has a point EVERYONE says they are an introvert, that they enjoy alone time and that they are drained day by day social situations Whenever the topic of introversion is brought up you'll hear tons of people explaining why they are a introvert, but only a few will admit to being more extroverted in nature Everyone misundestands what it means to be a introvert and a extrovert. Being a introvert doesn't mean you always prefer to be alone, humans are made to be social by design, even narcissist's people who literally care about nobody but themselves feed off of other people's interactions. Introverts are capable of being recharged and uplifted when around people they love just like extroverts can feel drained sometimes. I think there is truth to being a extrovert and a introvert but its more so your overall prefrence, the part you tend to desire more often, not a definitive way of thinking.

@etheriousnatsudragneel9612

Жыл бұрын

​@@josephdavis7189 I'm not even in disagreement with the guy in the video. Just offering some more food for thought 😅

@josephdavis7189

Жыл бұрын

@@etheriousnatsudragneel9612 uh huh

FINALLY a clear example so people can stop confusing this one. Most people thinks it's how they act in a group

I'm a social introvert. My job entails talking to multiple people & groups. While I have no problem fulfilling my duties, I can't wait to get home to peace & quiet & one of my many solitary interests.

I’m in the mental health/recovery field and absolutely love helping ppl and genuinely enjoy being around people. I teach classes and facilitate groups, and have individual therapy sessions, but by the end of my day, I have had my absolute fill of ppl and need to be replenished with some alone time some times even throughout my day, I’ll duck off to replenish my energy! 😊

I try to be economical with my words. Listening takes so much energy.

Thank you! I’m definitely introverted. I enjoy being alone or gotten used to it. My life runs smoother with less energy floating around

I keep telling my mother being shy and being introverted aren’t the same. She draws energy from interaction. Interaction drains me. Quickly.

Yeah, I've started to feel like the whole introvert and extrovert thing is kinda weird ever since I started going to parties. I always thought I was an introvert cuz I spent so much time alone and had few friends, but I think it was always a lot more complicated than that. Like, I had a lot of angst in highschool so I used to hate everyone- made no new friends. Then, in college, I started trying to make friends, and it was easy and kinda nice. Fast forward to now, I go to parties thrown by my friends and (not to brag) but they call me the life of the party and I love socializing there. I feel like I'm fully capable of socializing, but it has to be around ppl I genuinely like and trust- and we should also be doing things that I like. In those situations, socializing can be pretty energizing and good for my self-esteem. You also can't really meet girls as an introvert 😅. There are benefits to being both introverted and extroverted.

I don’t like to talk much at work, because I listen to others telling life stories and everyone judging them for it. It’s a waste of energy

The battery analogy is the best explanation I've heard. Introverts like me, love social things until my social battery runs out, extroverts have their battery recharged by being in social situations.

Wow. This really REALLY helps me!! I like people, and I’m usually the life of the party, and very witty and very quick to make a joke or make the whole table laugh… People even tell me “come on say something funny”(which I find annoying😅)… And it’s so draining, and I feel so empty afterwards… When I’m walking to my car, I just feel like I must be a loser because I feel so fatigued and exhausted, mentally, and emotionally… And I always thought it was my own defect and really, it’s just that I don’t get recharged from people even though I’m good with people. It’s like you literally just sent me free… Thank you ! !

I remember once at a job interview, the interviewer asked me if i'm an introvert or extrovert, i answered introvert, and immediately he asked if being an introvert would hinder my ability to talk and communicate, conduct market research and such. I was confused. Just because i'm an introvert doesnt mean i'm quiet or socially awkward? I actually enjoy talking. People always link introvert to being quiet and shy and consider introvert to be a bad thing 🙄

Agree. I try to talk a lot when Im with a bunch of people so that I don’t appear to be arrogant or hard person to deal with. But in actual fact I’m an introvert and feels so mentally tired after that

I knew a pastor of a large church who delivered exuberant, fun, convicting messages. I found out from someone else that the pastor doesn't talk much off stage and prefers to be alone fishing. As an aside, it was a large church that had a decent sized pastoral staff who managed some of the programs and provided counseling, so those aspects were not lost. Should the senior pastor be doing that? Sure, but it also takes someone who's wise enough to know that their strength may be preaching, but they may be weak or others may be stronger in other areas that a typical senior pastor would do. Either way, it worked for the people who attended so 🤷

So true! Thank you for the clarification, Dr Hubermann.

Sometimes it is not character, but trauma and/or weak social/emotional/mental boundaries or lack of confidence.

I’m an introvert but talkative at work and in social situations. Afterwards, I analyze what I said and stress that I talked too much. 😮

That's so true. Most often than not i tend to be the centre of attention of my group due to my speaking abilities that i mastered through many years but ALL interactions leave me depleted.

I’m an introvert who talks a lot, but the talking a lot thing comes from making the socializing bit a bit more comfortable. I feel utterly drained from social interaction and while I enjoy it a lot, I need to recharge

100%!!! Yes im good at being social because of the job I have. It’s just a skill I got good at. But it’s soooo draining and I always thinking of how to get out of there. Maximum one social interaction per week. Absolute MAX

It’s strange for me. I usually love talking to people but only after I’ve talked to them at least a few times already, I can’t seem to ever just start a conversation with some random person

This just feels correct, from my perspective. I used to be the talkative fun drunk guy at parties/etc, but now I'm sober and while I still like to be in social situations, I now prefer to just observe. And pick the best moments for the most devastatingly funny one-liners ever.

I very often assume that I will do badly, or not enjoy most social interactions. I almost always enjoy them, and I usually end up in the pinnacle conversation of the event. People seem genuinely glad to have met me, and are often excited when they see me again. Then the next thing comes along and the very first thing I think is something like "oh no, someone is going to want me to go to this thing", and the ongoing chain of panic attacks starts up. These will end only when I get to the place, on the day of the event, totally exhausted from fear, but breathing again. Optionally, I can do what I really want to do, and hide from it all, or dodge it somehow. If I do, the panic attacks do not stop, but just get worse until someone outmaneuvers me and gets themselves into my physical presence. I'm probably a nightmare to actually care about, but I don't mean to be.😮‍💨 I guess I have what most people call "fun" when I socialize, and definitely feel energized afterwards, but thinking about going to anything ever, is my greatest source of stress, anxiety, and fear. Why would I have a terrible reaction to finding out that I get to do something that I'm generally good at, I always end up enjoying, and that makes me literally feel good? How does somebody get like this? I have no idea.

Wow! Reading the comments helps us see how many people resonate with this introvert/extrovert social situation explanation. I acutely commiserate with the introvert who derives energy from being around others. Instead of Bars; I go to the library or the gym to avoid loneliness. But the joy of being alone with your own thoughts and plans, is truly paradise at times.

Everyone feels good in social interactions, you’re just with the wrong crowd if you’re not getting energy

Thanks for bringing this up. I am often chatty, and feel comfortable at social events, but I need a lot of time on my own to recharge my batteries. So the MBTI was correct.

For 20 years I believed I was an extrovert. But... through this guys lessons I've realised I'm the complete opposite ❤ Thanks Andrew

I am an introvert, who learned to interact and sometimes even overacts, pretending having a good time. When I'm back home I isolate myself and crush overstimulated and exhausted for the rest of the day, sometimes days.

@galpinklilyempire6905

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I would prefer days . There are true introvert like you wish need time alone for recharge long days , but because of circumstances we can’t do that . we are true introvert too.

I'm a closeted extrovert; I really enjoy being around people and at parties but I'm very reserved. I'll speak to anyone who approaches me; I spend most of the time observing and analyzing people.

I’m an extrovert but through shaming when I was young in school I’m very very quiet until I understand the people I’m around. Could take weeks, could take months or I’m never comfortable around them so I don’t talk at all.

FINALLY! FINALLY SOMEONE WHO UNDERSTANDS!! THANKSS!

Grateful to see a proper definition / explanation. It’s rare

Thank you. People need to stop exclaiming what they are and just be.

I have to be “on” for work and by the time I get in the car at the end of the day, I can’t even listen to a podcast or the radio. Music, or nothing, just to decompress a little. I can do social situations but it’s EXHAUSTING.

I am that listen up. I was diagnosed with social phobia and so scared shitless of social interactions. Then two things happened. I was prescribed Ritalin for my ADHD and I turned into a social butterfly overnight. Then in therapy I learned that I was feeling social phobic because I was too judgemental towards myself and I was projecting rejection onto others. So I practiced being a friend to myself. A LOT. I proved the assumptions that people didn't like me wrong. And I now project a lot less and it's allowing me to be a regular guy who likes being around people. We are not set in stone and I personally believe that introversion is a reflection of something internal going on. You can improve it. It takes dedication but you are capable of it.

I used to be an extrovert as a child. But then at the age of 11 years I got a chronic disease, which hurt my physical and mental health. My situation at home started going south and I got alienated at school. I ended up getting bullied at school, after which I did everything I could to stay away from there. When I was 18 years old I was incredibly depressed and the amount of social anxiety I had to deal with was absolutely paralyzing. Ever since I have struggled with these feelings and conditions and dealing with people drains the energy out of me, even though as I child I loved it. There are about 2 people I love hanging out with, which actually gives me energy and makes me feel good., even though they don't really try to interact with me. I'm always the one who has to contact them, which kinda hurts. I frequently wonder how life would've been for me if things wouldn't have gone so wrong at such an early age. And I also wonder how much of me being an extrovert is simply caused by past trauma (god, I hate that word) and depression/anxiety.

Thank you! Everyone thinks I’m a massive introvert but it’s just that typical parties and small talk bore me to death, when I meet like minded or interesting people I get really hyper and get massive buzz off it

Yeah I'm a quiet introvert, I used to be really chatty and sociable, but as I've gotten older I've realised how drained I get from socialising alot, so now I try not to interact unless someone directly starts talking to me

Nailed it,really depends on the energy to come alive🌟