Maya, I am so happy you decided to discuss this. I am also married and I constantly have to remind myself it's okay to step back and allow my husband to lead our family.

@shamelessmaya

Жыл бұрын

We’re not alone 🙏🏾✨

@ahaze_

Жыл бұрын

​@@shamelessmaya It's disturbing you are pivoting in this direction. Religion is nothing but male supremacist ideology. Males invent these ideologies/religions/customs to control women and children for access to sex. Eve coming from Adam's rib?! We are all products of WOMEN. Woman is the base form of human being, and males are a mutation of female. Your mother made you with her very bone and blood matter and you carried that on to your children. Sons even inherit more genetic material from their mothers because the X is the superior gene. Men have for generations used lies to subjugate women, and you are spewing that to your audience?! Encouraging yourself to be smaller? To be silent?? I get conquering self control and deep critical thought. And we all benefit from learning when to advocate for ourselves/argue a position or to let something go. These adult skills do not need to be attached to female "submission" and "obedience" to men. Males are currently exploiting, trafficking, and raping on every inhabitable planet on earth with this type of dogma on their side. Women/girls have less access to education and freedom of movement in majority of places on earth! The International Labor Org states there are more slaves than ever, and a large percentage are females (adults AND children) for male profit and pleasure, and most in countries committed to the so called "word of God." I encourage you to read up on evolutionary psychology and human reproductive behavior to illuminate aspects of our culture that exist solely to make women easier to control by males she otherwise would not choose. An example from the animal kingdom: There is a type of fish where larger males are chosen by females to mate with because it results in healthier offspring more fit to survive. However, there are smaller fish who "cheat" by sneaking into the female's nest when she's with the bigger fish and despoting his sperm. That's what religion helps men do- cheat. It's a tool to 1. restrict women's power and 2. sway women to abandon intuition and sense of self in order to "obey". Every male is driven to procreate. Many, like the small fish who sneak into nests, cheat by using the state/religion/any external pressures that encourage submission in order to coerce women.

@melaniepalapuz7406

Жыл бұрын

Love! ❤ I am learning this too. So liberating 🎉

@user-lenise876

Жыл бұрын

I was just here thinking that I don't behave like I'm ready for marriage...my level of submissiveness is not where it should be. Whoieeeee😮

Do you understand how much God is testing my obedience here in the comments?!? 🤣🤣🤣 Feeling the impulse to be understood but you know what…imma be SILENT 🤣🤣🤣 Thank you for engaging in the comments whether you agree or disagree. The seeds have been planted. You can’t unsee what you just watched 🙏🏾 Thank you God 🙌🏾✨

@noble604

Жыл бұрын

Maya, it’s all about pride, humility and being conformed into the image of Christ moment by moment, day by day, all of your life. This doesn’t come without our brokenness and suffering. Our pride is brutal. We all ... each and every one of us ... seeks to rise up and stand up for our “self”/ to defend our “self” and for our “self” to be heard, understood and “right.” This is the exact opposite of what Jesus did. He DIED to Himself for us, giving up all glory of His own so that we may be justified through Him and His lowliness not saying one word as men reviled Him to His death, but instead asking The Father for forgiveness for them. We die daily -in small and large ways - as we crucify our flesh and resist the urges to be self-glorifying, self-centered and right . This is the daily test and daily walk of the Christ follower. It is a daily transferral of our own self-rule to God ruling us. Blessings to you as you walk this narrow path of humility, abasement and quietness. It is not easy AT ALL. It was never promised to be but it is worth it and you WILL be greatly rewarded as you continue in this Christlike path until you see Him face to face. Shalom 🕊

@angelofmine3271

Жыл бұрын

PROUD OF YOU you are doing Gods will. God sees you. Do not condemn yourself for the things you are not aware of now. It’s a “renewal” of the mind Romans 12:2 You are on a journey, and you are transforming every day. Maya you are Honoring God and because of this he is blessing you with divine wisdom and insight for you to give to your husband and saga and others. Being submissive to your husband is a mirror to being submissive to God. If we are unable to surrender we will not be able to truly have the fear of the lord. The hyper independence that this world has put on us is the plan of the enemy to break the family dynamic. You are in your purpose. You and max are light!

@nordiclights1

Жыл бұрын

This is the problem with nowadays' comment-culture. Often instead of people taking time, trying to understand, think, they just feel the impulse to react before doing so. They might not even get the whole message, they just take out a part of it and want to share their opinion about it. Instead of engaging in a conversation. Also for people who do not know Sweden and Nordic countries, a certain way of thinking about family dynamics- and a certain way of openness and honesty when talking about complex topics, might be unfamiliar. I enjoy your videos of thinking out loud about life, love, how marriage should be for you and how it is in the moment because it is interesting and honest. Thank you for sharing your personal journey. Many things what you and you two have been talking about made me think and reflect on in my own life.

@carmenitac

Жыл бұрын

Continue being bold in Christ Maya! Some ppl may not like it but your job is to plant seeds, regardless how ppl get offended!

@charlie16126

Жыл бұрын

This CHOICE made to follow Christ is not for the faint at heart. The bible tells us of all the hurt we will endure bc of his name sake. Keep praying to God to help you thru moments like these. Every day, choose God and he will continue showing you who he is. I am so excited for you hunger to know him.

So many ebbs and flows within marriage. My husband is 24 years older than me. I was 26 when we married. I was silent and accepting until about my mid 30’s, I found my voice. I thought and was taught within church that being a wife was being silent, obedient & submissive. So that’s what I did but then I realized I was losing myself. I started reading and learning and building myself up. I married the man I wanted and what God wanted for me. I don’t doubt that but God didn’t place me with him to disappear and dissolve into nothing. What I learned is my husband was also waiting for me to show up. Not to take over and take control but to be an active participant and contributor to not just our children (which is what I was perfect at) but to building our future as a couple. I’m a strong woman but I didn’t know until later and we’re strong together. He listens better, I opened up and blossomed and communicate verbally much better. 17 years and we’re better together. You’ll ebb & flow. Trust the process.

@tishainnis

Жыл бұрын

Love this! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 This is what God intended.

@BoMaBriGgs

Жыл бұрын

I love, love, love this!!

@melmel7011

Жыл бұрын

Its different from Mayas marriage, she has always been vocal and you were not. I feel in both your stories, you now doing something different

@AllThingsSoul

Жыл бұрын

I agree 100%. No woman will be happy if she's silent and controlled. A man needs his wife's intellect, her thoughts and opinions, all given to him with respect for his manhood. No man wants a doormat. No woman wants a doormat. That's why I don't like the word submissive. It's been used by abusive men. Abusing a woman is not loving her as God loved the church.

@melmel7011

Жыл бұрын

@@AllThingsSoul I personally do not have a problem with the word or even submitting if im with a man who is loving me right. Unfortunately the men who force women to submit, ain't good men

Girrrlllll! You spoke to my soul. I'm a 39y/o ex-CEO turned homemaker (still working as a part-time consultant) and have been on this new season of embracing quiet in all ways. Sitting in my silence within my marriage has probably been the hardest part of my journey and I think it's because I still haven't fully let go of the belief that 'my way is better'... What has been working for me has been rather than trying to convince myself to believe that "he's right', I reframe and say 'ok tinashe, you're right, so what? how much does it matter to me?' and usually I realize the answer to that question is I actually don't care as much as my opinionatedness thinks I do. The moral of my story is most things don't matter so just be quiet lol.

@shamelessmaya

Жыл бұрын

You get it! Maybe it’s a life chapter/age thing cause I really don’t have the time for this nonsense and YET! But yes…just be quiet Maya and have a seat 🙏🏾

@mickyrose840

Жыл бұрын

Hello Tinashe! i love your comment and I see that you have a youtube channel. I'm definitely subscribing 😃

@inspiringgirl1821

Жыл бұрын

Word

@ManipuraCentreCo

Жыл бұрын

"Most things don't matter so just be quiet." I'm taking this one with me!!

@photoqueennyc

Жыл бұрын

This comment is so on point. I'm 38 and have been living a very independent life and working for myself so in this new era n partnership I'm in, I too am still struggling with "my way is better". I'm older than my partner and find myself fixing, correcting, redoing things lol it's such a struggle to be more silent

This is good. I’m 41. Got married at 40. I have intentionally fallen back from the powerhouse woman I (had) to be when I was single. I want my husband to lead. And yes I do communicate, speak up, but it’s a dance, it’s timing, it’s context, it’s energy. If you’re married…you know. Trying to explain to someone that isn’t living that married/partnered life where they want harmony, peace, and maintain femininity isn’t going to understand. You cannot explain it where it makes sense because frankly marriage doesn’t make sense sometimes and everyone’s is going to look different. When our husbands feel empowered, listened to, respected, heard, decisions are agreed on by us…we as wives benefit from that.

@MimiD14

Жыл бұрын

Beautifully Written

@bribri4275

Жыл бұрын

As a single woman who is drawing closer to God everyday, this is a perfect description of what I believe and know inherently to be true. I can’t wait to flex this knowledge and understanding in marriage.

@cuzeke

Жыл бұрын

Well said!

@ellebeauty8737

Жыл бұрын

🎯

girrrrl as a 31 year old woman that is about to get married on Saturday.......i felt this in every way! Keep sharing your testimony Maya & to God be the glory!

@jr8694

Жыл бұрын

Congratulations!!!

@delucastudios3097

Жыл бұрын

congratulations!!!

This is what it looks when one is letting God lead. You start to grow in ways you never imagined. Watching you grow intentionally in your walk and in your marriage is beautiful to see.

I'm an atheist so I can't relate to the religious part. But I have been married for 18 yrs and we treat each other as equals. No ones in control unless we are unburdening the other person when we have too much on our plate. I'm a strong woman and would never use the term "obedient" to describe me as a wife, instead say *willing to compromise* as long as it serves us both. I don't serve my husband and he doesn't serve me. We are on this life journey together and compromise when we hit a wall. I wish you well on this new phase/chapter of your life. Love from Boston.

@LaciRae

Жыл бұрын

i’m agnostic (unable to believe the bible/any religion but do feel a spiritual connection to the universe), been married 18 years, & i wholeheartedly relate to your relationship style. i could never do it any other way. neither of us should feel obligated to inhibit our inherent qualities/characteristics. he leads (is “the leader”) in the areas he is stronger in, & vice versa with me. in areas where we are both equally capable & affected, we mutually decide/figure it out together. luckily we agree on pretty much every single thing. but on the rare event that either of us strongly disagree, we make it known, & it matters that both of us reach a place where we are both confident/satisfied with the outcome.

@shamelessmaya

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing 🙏🏾✨ 18 years is LONG! I look forward to being able to drop those stats 🎉🎉🎉

@Karuna_Rose

Жыл бұрын

Yeah the word obedient is a strange way to describe a marriage... to me its like something you'd expect in a parent-child or teacher-student relationship, where there is a clear power dynamic. I feel that religion can push these odd gender roles on to people leading them to extremes. Life is about balance and I feel like the way you described your marriage is exactly that. Also why do I feel like there are so many adjectives to describe how a women should be in a relationship but very few for men?

@Genie2386

Жыл бұрын

​@@Karuna_Rose Lol I made sure to have the minister take the word obey out of our vows. I'm not an obedient person. I listen, I understand, I compromise, and I even follow. But obedient doesn't describe me well. I had to address a lot of trauma to get out of my quiet girl era and I don't want to go back.

@Sallyy150

Жыл бұрын

Thanks for saying this!

I’ve been reading the Bible more. My husband noticed that when he ask me a question I would direct it back to him to make the decision. For a while it was annoying him. Even I didn’t understand why I was doing it. Then it came to him and he said to me, “I think you are submitting to me. You want me to lead.” I started crying because it made total sense. 😮 I was so independent it was hard for me to adjust being a SAHM in 2017 and not working (a paid job), so now that I’m here mentally, I was so shocked. God has really been working on me.

@lanecrescent4161

Жыл бұрын

God does not work on you to become a mouse 🙄

@Minney-Me

Жыл бұрын

Yes, and we must Allow God in Heaven to work on us daily ❤ Amen 🙏🏾

@daisiesandpandas1218

6 ай бұрын

​@@lanecrescent4161is it ok if the husband was the mouse then? Is it ok if one partner doesn't have a say and is constantly being criticized because their partners way is better but as long as it's not the woman is fine? Understand the video, this isn't to women who need to speak up, this is to the women overpowering others and not letting them speak, turning husband's into the very mouse you also don't want women to be. There will be other videos about speaking up by women who have that experience, there are godly women in these comments who had to do the opposite to Maya to bring equilibrium to their marriage. Some need to tone it up and some need to tone it down. Being controlling is not good, no matter your gender.

Thanks for your transparency. I’m single and I’ll say your video triggered me. Not because I think you’re wrong, but only because I think it’s important for women to strike a balance when it comes to partnership. I’ve been the quiet woman before , and I suffered for it. I think there’s a way to honor your partner and respect their thoughts and decisions without abandoning your wants and needs (WHICH I DON’T THINK YOU WERE ADVOCATING FOR AT ALL). I just think these kind of discussions need that kind of disclaimer for the quiet ladies who need to learn how to speak up. Ty again for sharing your journey, Maya!

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

I definitely hear what you are saying, but I do truly think that as Christians this current life is so very short and we're investing in our eternal life. In the Bible, woman who are quiet, meek and servant-hearted are very much lifted up and will be rewarded. We won't get our reward before death more times than not, as people here will see those qualities and use it against us, but the Most High sees our hearts and actions and He loves those qualities very much so. I don't think we should be a doormat, but I do think that is closer to what is seen as beautiful to God than a woman who puts herself first and foremost. It is a triggering topic, but so important and interesting!

@lanecrescent4161

Жыл бұрын

​@@hmmhuh1222 what a load of crap. You're saying to stifle who you are as a person in THIS life to be rewarded in the next? There is no next life!! This is it!

@Purpleiciousbabe

Жыл бұрын

@@lanecrescent4161 I think it’s a way for her to comfort herself!

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

​@@lanecrescent4161 Well you'll find out when you die how wrong you are. But hopefully you find out before then, as life is so much better with hope and faith!

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

​@@Purpleiciousbabe God's word is comforting!

As a fellow “strong women” I’ve had this conversation with myself many times. I’ve learned I don’t always have to be right. I don’t always need to argue and prove my point. And I do need to be more soft and allowing. But society has us thinking we need to be “strong “ but you have to be very careful. It’s a very interesting conversation. And this is why I love KZread and certain context creators y’all validate the rest of us. Like we aren’t crazy. We’re all thinking the same thing

I understand the benefits being quiet at times instead of outspoken all the time. But it feels weird that the word automatically insinuates that men are always correct or have more valuable input than women if we are all flawed. Why can't it be both ways? The word inherently creates hierarchy so we're not created equally just like how society treats us. I feel like it depends on the each individuals personality but I'm thinking of the roles reversed. For example, a man who is more outspoken and a woman who is naturally more of the listener. Shouldn't it also apply to this outspoken man to occasionally accept being quiet, wrong, or listening to the woman's occasional input? Why can't both people take turns communicating, offering control or compromising? Thats partnership.

After three years of marriage, I finally submit 😂 Marriage is much more fruitful when there are clear roles and mutual respect. Much love Maya ❤

@AllThingsSoul

Жыл бұрын

What does that look like? Please give some insight.

I wish you the best on your journey Maya. Unfortunately this doesn’t resonate with me as I’m not a fan of applying old sensibilities/traditions to the modern world. I do understand what you mean by always having to be strong but it’s okay to find a balance because we don’t really live in a world that rewards softness or strength. The bible can be a wonderful book and I respect it for what it is but I think it’s important to look at things with a critical eye and asses wether the message is sustainable for you (which I’m sure you already do) much love 🤍

This hit home, as a woman when men have let you down, you get used to 'fending' for yourself. Now that a good man comes along, it's like you have to let go of the control and order you have built for yourself and let someone take care of the things you usually handle. You've have learnt to trust and not doubt yourself for soo long and now you can finally share the burden with someone else. I am 25 and this is what scares me about marriage (I'm still single) it's the letting go of control and just trusting the other person.

@peacheyearth

Жыл бұрын

Hearing you 🙏 It is a surrendering curve! But over time with the right man we can know what it feels like to trust and surrender. Being with someone who can actually be that solid and gentle to support that curve

These kinds of teachings, reminds me how I'm grateful I am that I'm no longer Christian and fearing my inner voice and voicing my opinions. I felt alot of shame about speaking up as a women. Now I can be the fullness I was designed to be and attract people in my life that resonate with my spirit. I respect others beliefs, I just so grateful it's no longer mind 🙏🏾 😁😌🌿

@daisiesandpandas1218

6 ай бұрын

She's talking from the too strong willed woman's perspective, the ones acting like the controlling man in a marriage. Controlling man or woman is not a good trait. it's more than voicing opinions but making others feel inadequate, doing things your own way. They do things and you redo them or comment on how your way would have been better etc. There's a comment below from another woman who was the opposite and had to learn to speak up and be actively involved for her marriage to be better and she says God led her to that too. Advice to a massive amount of people will always be general, you have to know about yourself to know you're not the intended audience.

@aqueteaful

6 ай бұрын

@@daisiesandpandas1218 valid points. You are right I'm not the targeted audience. I appreciate your respectful response.

@r.walker7986

3 ай бұрын

The thing is a lot of men are basically dumb outside of the things they know so allowing yourself to be led is only going to lead to constant disappointment. Also, whatever happened to people just staying in their lanes? why does one person have to "lead" and where is everybody going? LOL. Most people get up and go to work for 30-40 years then retire, they are not headed anywhere and there is no need for all that leadership. people should just take the lead and initiative in the areas they are best at....

This is why it’s so important to choose a man who loves God and is submitted to God. Much love to you and the direction you’re going in Maya ❤️

@Artliker1234

Жыл бұрын

Do men not change? Do people not lie.

MAYA. This has been on my heart so so much. God has really been wrestling with me about it. Thank you for touching on this.

All I’m going to say is watch what examples we are setting for our children and specifically our daughters.

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

Yes! The more she models a Godly woman who is soft the better of an exmple she is to her daughter!♡

I am a chronically single independent woman so I am def triggered. But I am trying to get rid of my negative connotation associated with socially negative words like “obedience,”“submissive,” “mediocre,” etc. Even though the exact words aren’t ideal, I understand what you are trying to say. If you want to trust your husbands discernment, I believe that is beautiful. If you loved him enough to marry him and trusted him enough to have a kid with him, you can trust his choice in paint color, and trust him to make other decisions too.

@shamelessmaya

Жыл бұрын

Girl!!!! The triggering in real! I still am triggered by “obedient” BUT truly it’s obedience to God and acting with respect in partnership. Some people are better at working through differences but I can def work on it both in marriage and beyond. 🙏🏾✨ Thanks for commenting

@mirandataylor6385

Жыл бұрын

I think obedience is still a negative word that the church has used as a disservice to women. No woman should be submitting to any man that is not Godly first. I’d even go as far to say that it comes naturally for women to be in her feminine when her husband is actually taking care of her.

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

I relate to you so much! I'm big on words, so for me it helps to look up the etymology of any word I'm bothered by and really seek to understand it, so when I hear it, I hear it accurately, and if someone is misusing it I'll know not to be triggered as they are just ignorant on the true meaning. I've found this so true with the word obedient. Just a tip from me that really helped me!

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

@@mirandataylor6385 I definitely thought that, but there isn't an exception, however hard that is to understand. In fact, I think God sees when we are faithful with what we've been asked and will often lead our unGodly partner to the truth through our obedience....I think this verse is it,,,1 Peter 3:1 "Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price." But yes, def agree about it being easier to be in the feminine when a man is actually caring for us! I just don't think there is an excuse for us not to be in it, even when it is extremely difficult.

@Artliker1234

Жыл бұрын

Why do men also resist it if the word isn't triggering? The Bible says submit one to another. It never gets discussed.

I love this! Love that you’re transparent and seeing your growth.

This was so good and a great reminder to just chill and be quiet sometimes!! It also gives my hubby the space to lead! Love this

Please keep this videos coming. I’m not married yet but this was something i needed to hear.I love your transparency!💕💕💕 God bless you

As a quiet woman, I know that it's possible to be both quiet and strong / very independent. Sometimes that can be a lethal combination 😅. So submission/obedience is a challenge for some of us quiet ones too. You can say alot without saying much - sometimes it's our actions that need "sanctification". I want to add though that while we as women are supposed to submit to husbands, those two scriptures are not to be taken literally. There are deeper studies that are available from trusted ministers concerning this - have a look at some of them for better context. You are teaching a lot of people right now as a woman, and that is pleasing to God. Remember that "There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." - Galatians 3:28. Don't let this discourage you from continuing with the good work. What you are doing is amazing ❤.

@jr8694

Жыл бұрын

I'm glad to see you are also a sister in Christ! I love how your comment was worded. I have a question for you - you said that those scriptures shouldn't be taken literally. Do you mind sharing how you came to that conclusion?

@sharonitu

Жыл бұрын

@@jr8694 Deeper Bible Study. There are various factors that come into play when studying the word of God. Oftentimes you can't take everything at face value. For example, the old testament was originally written in Hebrew and the new testament in Greek. A lot was lost in translation. Using something like a concordance when studying the Bible helps with getting to the original text and meaning. There are also considerations regarding the cultural factors of that age (especially when considering scriptures about slavery and such). There are trusted ministers of the word who have done such studies and make them available for us to learn from (if you prefer to learn from others instead).

@jr8694

Жыл бұрын

@@sharonitu I do understand where you are coming from I just think we have to be very careful when advising someone not to take a scripture literally. You ever notice how we are usually only advised to not take a scripture literally when it is a scripture that is culturally unacceptable? For example, no one ever says not to take scriptures about God’s love or forgiveness literally, but for just about every scripture in the New Testament on a subject matter that doesn't line up with our culture - the common interpretation is to not to take the scripture literally. We definitely need to rightly divide the word of truth like the Bible says, but I just find that interesting. We also have to remember that scripture is the authoritative word of God revealed by the Holy Spirit (2 Tim. 3:16-17). Extrabiblical resources like commentaries and concordances - while I use them for Bible study too - they don't have equal authority with the word of God. We all need the Holy Spirit to help us in ensuring we understand His word. God bless you !

I have been married for almost 30 years. You are on a beautiful path. I found out that surrendering brought joy! Can you believe it?! God's way is foolish to the world. But when you trust it you find joy that doesn't make sense to the world.

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

Amen!!!! I have so much joy now, it is indescribable!

I'm an "old" Christian but I got a lot of new things from this ... again. THANK YOU FOR SHARING MAYA.

As a person who has a very large amount of skepticism about religious institutions, this concept of ‘being obedient because so say God’ definitely gets a side eye from me. I look at religious texts, like the Bible, as a historic document. And in doing that I understand and realize that the times they spoke of, the social constructs, etc etc aren’t the same as now AND also to always remember that this text was written by man. So yeah it doesn’t sit well with my spirit lol However I will say this, finding that peace within yourself, the need to not always be right, finding the best way to be in a relationship with your husband, determining your roles in each others lives and your family, is such an important process. I want to thank you for sharing that! While I am not married, I’ve seen my closest friends and family, make those adjustments and those compromises, to make their unions work! So good luck to you both~

@shamelessmaya

Жыл бұрын

Thank you for sharing your thoughts 🙏🏾✨

@ChelsieLarose

Жыл бұрын

I was triggered but u reminding us that the Bible is a historical religious text put together by man (and ordained by God) was a reminder of the times this was written. Though I’m sure the foundation of the text is to be a submissive wife (which I don’t disagree with), with the interpretation from the time this was written vs the several evolutions we’ve experienced as people, there’s no need to be so triggered. Just take what resonates to the time you’re in. As someone who is learning to be a bit more submissive and embrace my femininity instead of taking on the toxic independent approach I used to, I think finding that balance between the two can be hard. Balance in itself is tough. Maya I thank u for sharing your revelations with us and giving us something to think and talk about 🫶🏾.

I have been in a season where I also had to learn that I don’t always have to be right and I don’t always have to justify myself. In that I found and learned there is power in your silence. Your silence can be felt more and can be more profound than your own words and in that if you are right you give room for the Lord to vindicate you ( for vengeance is the Lord’s not ours) and if you are wrong you allow God to teach you and show you something that you needed and then healing can take place. I really enjoyed this video I always love seeing people sharing their experiences their stories and just being vulnerable because in it we can learn from one another and all continue to grow and encourage each other. God bless you sister😊❤️

I love this authentic Convo... I love your not scare to acknowledge your growing and what u need to work on in your marriage ❤❤❤

You have matured so gracfully. SOOO many woman leave a good man because they cannot lay down their our selfish will and let their man lead. That is having a Jezebel spirit. WE ain't got time foe that! To God be the Glory Maya. Don't get me wrong, it is not easy but it must be done to live and have our households in the correct alignment with God's order.

This is BEAUTIFUL, IT TOOK ME 20 yrs of marriage to get to this point. We have now been married 36 yrs and so much stronger because I learned to trust my husband and close my MOUTH. Thank you for sharing

As an outspoken partner, learning how to be wrong is such a very real thing. This is the aspect of a healthy loving relationship that I hope everyone gets to experience. There is 100% a relief in not holding on to being right.

This is a very necessary conversation! Thank you for your transparency!

Im so enjoying this beautiful journey you are on! Thank you ❤ God bless you and your family.

Love the transparency! 😩Thank you for sharing! 🫶🏽

Thank you for this! This is such a great conversation for all women but especially believers.

This was good, Maya! What you are saying is clear and makes sense. Proud of you!

Yaaaaaasssssss Maya!!! God bless your journey girl. I appreciate this message so much. ❤❤😊

Maya I am in the same season that you are in. I was an independent woman, and now I am choosing to be obedient to my husband and stepping out of the way so he can be the leader of our family. I have found that since I have done this we have peace and harmony between us. My husband does not disrespect me or try to overpower me. But instead he values my opinion more because I have decided to support his decisions and not always feel like my voice must be heard. I support him and he turns around and supports me too.

Man, this is the content we need!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

Being outspoken is automatic! I find myself not thinking before I speak and the results is an irritated, aggravated man! Like, girl, STOP TALKING! And I feel so bad after opening my mouth, but like you I’ve been bless with a man who knows the beauty of a partnership and communication. He’s so patient and so loving and understanding and sometimes we women can take that for granted thinking we can do and say whatever with no consequences… WRONG! Now I find my self talking to myself and to god, asking questions “why do I feel triggered?” “Does what I feel like saying important? Is it relevant or am I in my feelings?” “How would he feel if I said this” then I go to god to help me make a decision to know if my speaking is appropriate at this time. This journey is a long one but eye opening about who I am and who I can be in God’s eyes, a woman of valor. Thank you so so much for this, I really appreciate you❤ p.s. I look forward to a video about your study method for your bible 😊

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

Your words are encouraging, sis!!! Thanks for sharing ♡ May God continue to bless you amd keep you♡

Wanted to mention that a “strong woman” and an “obedient woman” don’t have to be different. It takes great strength to be obedient. It just takes courage to be outspoken.

I needed this thank you! God bless you and your family❤

🙌🏾🙌🏾 I needed this!! Thank you!!

This is the maturity we need. Obedience to God allows love, trust and character to be developed. The world doesn't have to understand girl. Just keep doing you and the fruit will speak for itself.

Hi dearest Maya, I'm not sure if you'll be seeing this one message anymore, after having dealt with over 500 previous ones 😅. I came across your channel last year & visit your and you & Max' channel from time to time as there are so many similarities between our lives (and loads of differences too!). I respect your willingness to live life raw, real, out there, BOLD & BRAVE ❤‍🔥, and that you dare to put it all out there. As a fellow believer in Jesus Christ, and a recent married one too :), I watched this video and giirrrrllll, yessss, I get where you're coming from!!! And I can only applaud your courage to dare to put the topic on the table as you wrestle some of the big ones you touch upon in this vid. So why did I decide to write?? I did because as a fellow one on that journey you're describing, and enjoying the fruiiiitsss of peace, rest, increased harmony and moooreeee that come from it as I grow, I've discovered another 'travel companion' on the spiritual journey you're on... it's hiddenness... not secretiveness.. not holding secrets... but also discovering, accepting, and embracing the spiritual reality that some deep and precious things that God does in our lives, especially in the sacredness of marriage, thrive well with some precious, nurturing hiddenness... like a precious baby cocooning in the womb...in Christ we are set free from having to explain, having to BE oit there, having to even share what-so-eveerrrrr... because the deep, precious things thrive well in rest, peace, at times can use some watering 🥰drops of 'silence' 😃😄, and.. what many of us find so hard in this day & age of social media.. hiddennes... being in the cleft of the Rock. So precious sis, may God bless you & Max with the wisdom to know what to put out there... IF to put something out there & when.... Regardless... rooting for you two! He's got ya!!!

First of all...we are all growing in our faith. I am so excited that you are using your platform to share where you are in your faith and the journey you have come thru. Let's extend grace as God has and continues to extend it to us.

THANK YOU!!! I just watched 11 of your videos from both channels and I've got to say - Your ISH SPEAKS TO ME! WOW. I'm 40 (as of early this year). I escaped abuse with my 4 children last year. Coming out at the halfway point of life as un-employable, having not completed anything (education), over weight, traumatized, and applying for welfare single mom of 4 (!!!) The 'church' definitely failed me big time. But my faith was not shaken. I am encouraged to read the word once again thanx to your videos. And to see that there are probably many possibilities that lay ahead for us. You are SO encouraging! I wanted to say THANK YOU! Thank you for sharing your faith journey online. Its wonderful. Have a WONDERFUL time in Canada! (Your Canadian vlog went up today) ~Jj

@shamelessmaya

8 ай бұрын

I'm only now seeing this! Welcome to my channel (both) and I'm praying for you Josie. Hold on tight to God's word...His word is the truth and no matter what the enemy does as long as we stand with God we are covered in this life and the next.

@JazzyJosie

8 ай бұрын

Thank you! I put a comment in another video as well. No worries about the delay in responding. Life happens. Have a Beautiful Week ~Jj@@shamelessmaya

Thank you for your openness! God bless you on your openness!

Hey Maya, I'm one of those quiet women and thank you for acknowledging that we might have to approach things differently. I think if you make yourself a doormat, people are bound to use you and step on you. I've had to build belief in my self worth, stop having an apologetic attitude for not being perfect and develop the fortitude to be dependable and a person my husband can bounce ideas off of. I am naturally submissive but in a partnership, even a traditional one, your partnership needs to be able to rely on you.

@shamelessmaya

Жыл бұрын

True! I really don’t know what that’s like. I’m from the world of feeling like I need to be heard and understood, but now I’m my 40’s I want to learn how to be more quiet. Like a quiet strength where I don’t need to flex but i can if I want to 🤣 Thank you for sharing here in the comments.

I love your reflections. I’m the same- submitting to a kind, loving husband makes submission much easier (although not completely easy). When we also allow our husbands to talk freely without us constantly interjecting removes a lot of conflict within a marriage and makes him ultimately love being around us more.

@shamelessmaya

Жыл бұрын

Agreed! Ultimately it’s about mutual respect, and for me that’s being quiet 🤣 Thankfully my husband Max and I are all about equality but I legit just want to learn how to be quiet since I suck at it

@Artliker1234

Жыл бұрын

Really is that what the colloquial understanding of submission is, that's how it's practiced ? Basic conversation skills. And what happens when your husband isn't kind or he has a bad day or simply falls into human nature and exercises the power given to him through dated societal and overemphasized gender roles. What happens then? Ephesians 5:21 opens with submit one to another, then goes into wives submit in husbands and husbands treat your wives as Christ did the CHURCH. Meaning quite literally die for your wife. Never hear discussion about "submit one to another" or the call for husbands to die for their wives, no just continual incessant discussion of women ignoring their basic autonomy and right to express themselves or thinking as not to threaten the man. My God didn't ask me to be stupid or thoughtless or be led around like a child, and that's how most people expect and understand submission.

❤ Thanks for sharing! Your honesty is refreshing.

Thank you for sharing with us Maya ❤ this is growth

Love your transparency Maya! I think that our worldly view of obedience can be triggering to a lot of folks, even Christians. But when I think of obedience, I think of women like queen Esther. She was in a position of power and used her influence and strategy to save many lives. She didn’t cower at the threat of death, but stood strong and was obedient to her uncle, who was obedient to God. It’s not just about being silent, but standing firm in knowing that your decisions/actions can restore and bring peace.

Great lesson, when this first came out i wasn't there. Im here now, in this season of being ok with being wrong, being right and quiet, listening more, being humble and not needing others to know I am right. Good times, a relief actually.

I hope you continue to share your journey as you continue to grow and evolve. Your generosity of spirit shines through. Blessings on your journey. ❤

Laughing so hard " if anything be quite "LoL great video been practicing this for the last year - been married before this next time ( hoping ) praise God I will be silent Thank u Maya God bless 🙏🏽💃🏾🙏🏽👍🏾💍🙌🏽

I LOVE THIS!! Thank you so much for being obedient to God to share about this. This is countercultural which is needed.

Yes, yes, yes Maya! I agree wholeheartedly with you!

As an older single woman (55) I love this discussion.. Maya you are always right on time with knowledge 😘🥰

@shellyhoward3060

Жыл бұрын

Funny, I too am a single 55 year old woman loving this discussion! Yes good stuff!

I love this ❤ Thanks for sharing with us !

I am so blessed and grateful for your obedience to God is going in this direction and sharing absolute truth!!! This is me and God is speaking to me about this now I am about to get married. Please be encouraged you are being a vessel for God ❤

I love this!!! I am 35 single for years and have fought to be heard in relationships with my Dad/Men/women! I often thought that my Mom was weak when I saw my Dad say something in public to her and she often would just go with the flow not knowing that behind closed doors they would have a discussion and she would have the last word 😂. From what I’ve learned from the context of the time the scripture of women being silent was women were being disruptive in church and asking lots of questions to their husbands while service was going so Paul was writing to keep order in the church. Not to say that your video doesn’t comply about taking steps back to letting your husband be the leader that he needs to be. What I’ve been learning in my single hood and preparing for marriage is the sacrifice when the Bible says “husbands love your wife is Christ loves the church…” and all we as wives have to do is submit..and how powerful that is… Yes, I’m still a work in progress! I’m learning along the way… but in turn I realized just how strong my Mom truly is ❤

You guys are AWESOME! I have so enjoyed watching your journey.

Keep speaking Maya! I’m so encouraged by what God is doing in you! Keep being obedient sister!! You are speaking TRUTH!!! DON’T STOP! The Holy Spirit is in you. ❤

Maya, Love this and Praying for more spiritual growth for all of us...

Omg maya this is so great! I am right here too accepting submission in marriage as a woman has been a challenge for me too and finding a new meaning in that word. In Spanish it's actually "sujetar" which beens to grab on to your husband and he does to the Lord. It's amazing to me because in main stream culture we are taught the opposite, but it's amazing how you have been on here for years connecting with outspoken women and now God is saying: okay you have these women in your ministry, now we are navigating to sanctification together

@hmmhuh1222

Жыл бұрын

aww I love that translation!! Thanks for sharing! Yes, we are navigating towards sanctification!!!! ^.^ What a beautiful community of sisters

Whew this video humbled me and I’m not even in relationship . Outside of that though I’m definitely more quiet and just be like you got it 👐🏾

I think this is very traditional thinking that I recognise from my own environment. From what I have seen, this usually spells trouble in a relationship. Good relationships should be about collaboration of two equal parties rather than a leader and a follower dynamic.

This is SUCH AN IMPORTANT conversation. As I’ve deepened my relationship to God and my partner, this has been something I’ve had to unlearn and relearn in recent years. I’m learning that silence does not equate weakness. Letting my partner lead does not make me less. We are not equal as man and woman as we have different and important roles to fulfill. Trusting and relaxing is essential as the feminine so that the masculine can lead and express himself fully. I am deep in this journey and honoring myself + respecting my partner has strengthened the foundation for our relationship. Most arguments come from this type of deep conditioning, and other core wounds we tend to overlook. Oooof thank you Maya. This is another confirmation for me. Bless. 🤍

Im so glad u did ur intro “wassup beautiful people its ur girl maya all up in ur building” I replayed it twice. Iconic. 👑

I thought this title was hyperbole for clickbait. Firstly count your blessings that you have a man that you can rely on to make the right decisions. I took a really good point from this regarding allowing him to lead (when it doesn't matter like paint colour) but - not every one has a relationship where the man is capable of leading the family to success. This is really hard to allow him space to make his own decision when I know things could literally go disastrously wrong. I am battling the idea of letting his vision lead us - but I definitely will take a leaf out of your book to help guide his vision to fruition and speak support into that. Thank you. Max is very competent at life, let alone EI which is the perfect compliment to an independent woman. I am glad you're allowing him to step into his own within your partnership. This is amazing. I have learned the same things in partnerships with men is usually to allow them space to be men and not to bruise their ego. As an independent woman we also have that ego which needs space to be present also. From reading 48 laws of power - allow people to feel they are right - mainly when it doesn't matter. My favourite thing is to just say 'OK' when people say something completely wrong, but it doesn't matter to me whether they learn the right thing or see my side of something, surprisingly, even when it's glaringly obvious that they have said something ridiculous, when you just say OK they don't notice the things unsaid. It's amazing how challenging it is to change this sort of habit but once it becomes a habit - it's liberating. I used to be a Christian, but I have learned women are incredible teachers and nurturers by nature. Now the patriarchy have loosened up the bullying of the past have given us access to education, we can give the guidance to men and others around us. Finding a balance between supporting, nurturing and stepping back when you're unnecessarily The parts in the bible you read are triggering - why - because it isn't equal - why - well who wrote the bible and especially this bit and what was their motive at the time. I am going to do my research into what the true texts say at some point but currently we are aware that monks were the only people to read to the bible to the congregation and control the population at the time. We also know that there was a slave bible with specific chapters that educated us to be good slaves and obey the slave master as the will of God. I say all this to say, be mindful of how much of your blessings you are trying to shield from the world because of these texts and allow a balance. Everyone needs guidance/nurture/a teacher in something and should also have access to space to that authority over things they are competent in so you compliment each other and form a balance in choices.

Another one, Miss Maya! Thanks for this message.

Huau, i just love this Maya. So much. You are such a blessing. "The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down." Prov. 14 🌹🌷

I am curious as a long time viewer, if I don't quite find myself a follower of God or religious at all-is this going to be a main part of your channel? While I have no issue on what anyone speaks on, because everyone has different mindsets. I'm just curious if this is going to be more of a religious channel and focusing on being a good wife ?

It's beautiful to see the direction in which you are going. I'm so taken by how you guys are addressing this, I too noticed that you were a bit cold towards Max but I wasn't about to leave such a negative comment. It's lovely that you are looking for your soft, quiet feminine energy. Study the Proverbs 31 woman. One of my favorite words on being a true woman are those of Abigail when David sends for her to be his wife. She says, "Here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of those of my Lord." (1 Samuel 25:41)

I love that you shared this. As a follower of God there are some scriptures that I don’t understand, like the ones that you mentioned. However, there are parts that make so much sense and at the end of the day, I gotta work on me and enjoy the peace that His Word grants me ❤

I needed this. Thank God for using Maya to speak to a strong woman like me!

So happy to see your testimony!!!!!! Glory to God!!

This was so refreshing to hear! I love that you brought it back to being silent and making sure you're in prayer and reading the word. I've been a Christian for over 30 years, and have recently realized how much I've looked to my own self-righteousness and being justified by the approval and opinions of others. It's been freeing to give up that control (and the pressure of having to be "right"), and instead, realizing more and more the depths of the sin in my own heart, and allowing the fact that Jesus is patient and loves me through that, to guide me in loving others without fear of making mistakes. His Spirit is able to give us wisdom for the moment, whether that's being silent or speaking up, and I hope we can keep our hearts soft to His leading. Thank you, Maya. I'm excited for you in this journey!

@kekeliahiable6775

Жыл бұрын

Amen, Sis 🙏🏾

This is a very important conversation to have, especially in our current cultural climate where other’s opinions on roles and the concept of independence is constantly shoved in your face. If you are a follower of God, this message is so important. It’s a difficult conversation to have in a public space like KZread, but very grateful He has chosen you as a vessel for His word. Thanks Maya❤

I working on this now and glad you're speaking about it. I'm so scared, but I'm more scared of not changing and I recognize I can't live this way anymore.

This is so good! Man the Lord has been working on me keeping my mouth shut with my husband too. Wow

Something my famy told me growing up was "you dont always need to be understood, sometimes you just gotta walk away." As i was listening i heard you, im also an independent woman but i heard him too. Something that really helps me be not quiet but understanding in the moment is taking a step back. Thinking from their perspective. When I can take yourself out of the narrative, thats when i've noticed I become more understanding to not being heard but rather i become more understanding to trusting the other person.

not the anointing through Maya getting me on my knees and praying. Bless you Maya

Only 26, and single and not looking for anyone, and not because I don't want to. But you hit the nail on being right and fighting people with being right. I feel like I've been quiet and understanding for a lot of people and somehow today I found myself lonely. I actually do enjoy being alone but at times that's heavy weight (not a friend or acquaintances trustworthy enough for me to feel comfortable to reach out, not a lover and my family member already have a lot going on in their life). But I have always felt this desire to be what you called an obedient wife. So right now, despite the fact that I'm not looking for any relationship because I trully feel I'm not ready to offer what I want to offer to a man, I am working on myself and that is standing up for me without being too cold or aggressive as people I've told me. I've become so numb to what people feels because I've had put them first for so long, I still do sometimes. However, because I chose to change, it seems like I'm giving now a presentation of myself that is not (then I end up arguing to prove others even strangers why being me, it's okay), and that scares me because all I desire was never to fight or always be right, but I have to stand up for myself and put some boundaries. All that, without losing what I desire in life whether it's about relationship, family, friendship and regarding my work environment. But I appreciate your input and your video does encourage me to let go even more. I'm working on it!

@peacheyearth

Жыл бұрын

Seeing myself in elements of your story! Thank you for sharing. We got this :)

@kekeliahiable6775

Жыл бұрын

All the best, Sisters 😀🤗🤗

Feel similarly coming from a woman that is used to leading as well. I am enjoying not having to do it. God’s abundant blessings to you, Woman of God!

Hi Maya, I have been following since "you do you boo". LoL 😂😂😂 And I just love meeting you in this season in your Life, I have recently been transformed by the love of God for me and coming back the KZreadrs I followed back in the days who have had a shift with their relationship with God confirms to me that we are in this time where social Media and KZread will be the instrument god uses to speak to generations. Be blessed stay authentic and keep testifying.

This is such a interesting coversation. I am very independent and have been for so long and with that it has been hard to let people in. Now I'm learning to let go of having to have everything in control and in my way it doesn't stop me from being myself. Apart from independence, i think it's also a personality thing and the way society has forced it down women's throats that we have to fight for ourselves all the time even when there is no reason to fight. Like its okay to relax sometimes. LOOL. Can't say I don''t feel triggered by the verses you read (and I grew up in the church) but God is helping to know how to be calm in my strength.

Great great video! I found this at the perfect time! Thank you Maya ❤

I’m so happy for you and proud of you ! Keep leaning into God through his word and I have no doubt that he will continue to lead you in wisdom and giving you joy and satisfaction in him ! Jesus really is the plug and I’m loving seeing a glimpse of your journey unfold!

Speechless rn - I have been diving into the word and yesterday 5/16/23 I was reading the Bible 1 Peter 3:4 when GOD said “even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit which is in the sight of GOD of great price” You touch the seed of my soul and I can definitely relate “ be quite and still and let the man lead” this is a REVELATION TO ME. Father, Thank you for speaking thru Mia 🙏🏽 God bless you 💋

Hi Maya, I'm really loving this new you and your boldness to speak out on these things that are not popular. Anything that is true and rooted in the Word of God will not be popular but we must follow where the Spirit leads us. I have been a follower of Christ for 5 years after being delivered from the New Age Movement so I was able to relate to your testimony as well. Anyway, I'm not married yet but God has revealed to me that I will be married and I'm currently in a season where He is pruning me and preparing me for my future spouse. My mouth and inclination to 'speak my piece' is one of the main things He's dealing with. Just like you I always felt the need to share my opinion, to feel understood, or to prove that I am right but He's been showing me that it's best to just be quiet and meek even if it means being wrong or appearing to be wrong. This has been a challenge because He's showing me this through family, friends, and even strangers, and man, it's SO hard at times having to humble myself. However, I'm so grateful that He's taking me through this process now so that I won't ruin my marriage with my mouth and need to be right.

One thing I know I can do is like the video before it starts because Maya always provides genuine, authentic fire content!!!!!! I have been a true admirer of you and your journey for yearrrrrrrrrs and you never disappoint! Thank you for being open and continuing to share your journey. We are the same age and I have a similar journey and mindset as you. Learning true biblical roles for marriage is challenging but necessary, especially in today's world where so many lines are blurred.

Thank you Sis !! This really helped me.

Maya this is so amazing your encouraging me to be strong in what i believe

Max and my husband are very similar (in character). This is a journey I'm currently on as well. Might not resonate with everyone, but you are not alone and this video made sooooo much sense to me, Urgh. God bless and empower you on this journey fr fr.

I understand the stability that comes from finding moral guiding principles and how that can make one feel very anchored in a world in which so much is out of our control. And yes, there is wisdom in constantly checking in with oneself and finding ways to be kinder, more considerate, less abrasive, more trusting, letting go of old, harmful ways of being etc. It is wonderful to be so open to change; to want to be a better partner, especially as a response to the really good human you are sharing a life with. However, I was disheartened by the language used to explain the new path. To me, the lens through which Maya is seeing herself is more punishing than loving. Her instincts are correct and she will definitely have a stronger, more loving relationship by making more space for her partner but this Internet stranger hopes she can be gentler with herself and guard against becoming silent to the point of voicelessness.

Thank you Maya for speaking on this! Obedience and submission are not curse words! What so many people forget is that God commands husbands to love their wife as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). Back in the day, hearing this message probably would've triggered me, too. However, I'm happy to hear you speak on this because the world is trying to disrupt the natural order and the dynamic that God wants for us. Marriages are meant to be beautiful. They're meant to be strong. It's about balance, not necessarily "equality" the way the world paints it. Thank you again for touching on this and I really appreciate you sharing your experiences as it pertains to your faith. Much love to you and your family ❤

Girl I needed this video. Yes I am a very strong woman