I'm thinking this can happen emotionally too? As self protection ....

I think I've been stuck in freeze response most of my life - I am now 62 years old and still reliving the effects of horrific childhood trauma from the ones who were my 'parents'. I was psychologically, physically, sexually abused - totally neglected in every in every way. Everything I 'liked' and 'felt' was totally trashed right from the beginning of my life - I am a 'shell' of a person. I have absolutely no friends. (people steer clear of traumatised people?!) The realisation of it all is too much to bear. I feel like my body is shutting down!

@Michael-dp2uj

2 жыл бұрын

this is actually horrible I'm so sorry

@loverainthunder

2 жыл бұрын

💔💖I feel the same way. 💖💔

@amimachovsky-jesussaves8042

2 жыл бұрын

This sounds just like my mother. My heart breaks for her. I am doing everything I can t ok help her heal. I'll pray for you too Lee. 🙏💗

@punyashloka4946

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear that hope you find peace 🙏.

@honeysa1932

Жыл бұрын

I think you can heal, just reading it made me aware that the way I feel is quite similar to others, I had different experiences by knowing that there are people that can understand me and still love me the way I am is quite calming and good, so just to you know even though you feel alone, there are many that would like to talk to you, be your friends, connect with you and hang out with you, it doesn't mean because now you don't have friends or people around you didn't understand you, others won't, also it is great to see that you are seeking to know more about you and trying to heal yourself, reading this just made me wonder how my grandmother feels, she is almost 70, she has lived in a Third World country, married at the age of 10 or 12 I guess, wasn't allowed to study even though she loved studying, had 6 children and lost his husband when she was quite young about 35 I think, and one of her children was mentally undeveloped, and she doesn't have access these kinds of knowledge as she doesn't know English, and also she has a very old mobile phone that can't use applications like KZread, and she has lived with so much trauma, and she is just unaware of them, and her children think they are such good children because they think they provide her with house groceries and physical health which I don't think is enough. Also, I don't think she knows how much i care or think of her, as i don't really directly express myself.

In my therapy sessions, I never used the word ' freeze' in this context, as I thought it was misleading. But, I explained about dissociation, tonic immobility and shut down, and my patients were relieved that they had no conscious control when they were assaulted. Their physiology just took over.

I went to the local law enforcement to make a report. They said, it was my fault for not fighting back. This caused me to feel like I was being attacked again. Why on earth aren't all law enforcement employees TRAINED to handle these situations????!!! COMPLEX PTSD.

@heyu123

Жыл бұрын

That’s why only something like 5% of cases go reported. Im sorry that it happened to u and that law enforcement is so dismissive. Shame they don’t take things seriously

I don't cry, feel anger or much of anything. I always just feel flat. I have been diagnosed with CPTSD, PTSD, medication resistant depression and Chronic Anxiety. O am 53 and have been in therapy inpatient and outpatient. Long, long history of sexual, verbal, emotional abuse. Any advice? 2 years ago I started having what I now know as "body memories". After months of this, I finally went to the hospital. Was released by a psychiatrist, that told me that "we all have urges and perhaps I needed a boyfriend." None of them knew what was going on with me. Nobody in the mental health floor, crisis unit etc. I left there feeling more alone and more disgusted with myself. Beyond frustrated of not getting any help. I am ready to give up. That was 2 years ago. They have stopped, but I still struggle daily to keep going, but will never go back to a psych ward :(

@jacobsalamon6418

2 жыл бұрын

Hard to hear your story

@nonamegirl2.71

2 жыл бұрын

Can’t say anything specific but safe hugs 🫂 🫂 🫂 and I know pretty much what you’re going through

@helenwarren5217

2 жыл бұрын

Sorry for your pain,it doesn't feel good to not be seen or heard.

@annaavizur178

2 жыл бұрын

Look at Irene Lyon's website. Also Dr. Arielle Schwartz. They are both doing amazing work on Trauma with their full hearts and souls

This was INCREDIBLY helpful!!!

Dr, thankyou for all your amazing work in this field, I want to read your book. I remember being held against my will by a man in a toilet cubicle when I was about 7. I didn’t scream and I always wondered why. He then suddenly let me go. This is going off the topic at hand at bit now, but I can’t remember the beginning of what happened - how i came to be in the cubicle with him. I assume that that my body and mind went into complete shock, and that’s why I can’t remember. Also, I’ve surprisingly never been triggered by toilet cubicles, but from that point on, I always felt triggered, nauseous and turned off by the type of benches in public bathrooms (it was a squash court, my dad was playing). It was terrible at school every gym day, as there were identical benches. Even to this day, I can’t tolerate looking at horizontal style benches with gaps in them, and would never consider outdoor furniture of any wood. (I have no problem with indoor wooden furniture). I hate to think this, but do you think I may have been assaulted on the bench, before being dragged into the cubicle? All I recall is being held against my will, completely frozen. He was behind me, with his arms around my body. Please help me understand what happened, or what might have happened. I’m 48 now. Also, when I first gave birth, I went into psychosis for four days, which was very distressing. I thought the nurses were hurting my Twin’s, taking them out of the hospital and bringing them back in. Of course that wasn’t true. I was diagnosed with post partum bipolar disorder. I was told that this can happen to survivors of sexual abuse, particularly child victims. Please note it was my only episode of psychosis.

@nonamegirl2.71

2 жыл бұрын

Sounds *very* likely that something happened on a bench like that...☹️☹️☹️ I have zero visual memories of anything “happening” as a child but “the body keeps the score” (actually you might want to slowly read the book by Bessel van der Kolk by that title…) and the brain is obviously an organ aka part of your body, and it, too, keeps the score (often the nonverbal, non-rational, non-visual parts…) safe hugs 🫂 🫂 🫂

@melt7891

2 жыл бұрын

@@nonamegirl2.71 Anna, I’m sorry to hear that you were also hurt. Yes, it probably does mean that, I know. Maybe it’s best I don’t remember. And I have heard of that book, I’m planning to get it, it’s supposed to be very good.

@nonamegirl2.71

2 жыл бұрын

Mel T thank you I’m sorry about what happened to you, it sounds awful and terrifying. Fair warning: the following may be triggering and I am NOT trying to one-up you in any way, just saying I completely relate. What I’ve deduced “happened to me” based on persistent complex trauma symptoms and all the types of things abuse survivors deal with (I still feel like it was all my fault, hence MY comment on the actual video) started at 3 at the very latest because apparently I spontaneously developed nightmares/night terrors at 3 and extreme/age-inappropriate clinginess at 3 as well. Don’t remember that either but that’s just normal not remembering childhood stuff as an adult. I guess they had to pry me off them to get me to go to preschool. (The perps were not family members.) PS. When I said read that book slowly I mean READ it, if you are able to read books (I’m not due to severe ADHD) and read it SLOWLY and with a therapist’s guidance if at all possible. I found the audio book VERY triggering especially because the man who read it (NOT the author) always emphasized the word “rape” and because I wasn’t following along in the actual book I had no warning when he was going to say it and it felt like he got some kind of gross satisfaction, to me, by saying that word with almost gusto. Barf. Couldn’t listen to more than a chapter at a time and DON’T read it at bedtime or anytime after supper unless you “like” nightmares 😣😣 ***enter my terrible sardonic pitch dark “humor”*** because it’s bedtime here and I have to stop triggering myself! NOT intended as an insult!!

@melt7891

2 жыл бұрын

@@nonamegirl2.71 Wow..Thankyou for the warning..that sounds sick! I wonder if the author is aware. I very much appreciate you making me aware. I will take your advice and read it slowly, but I will do it with a therapist who specialises in trauma. Again, I’m very sorry to hear that you e suffered, I too can relate to these life long symptoms. It’s not easy, and I will keep you in my prayers 🌷

@nonamegirl2.71

2 жыл бұрын

@@melt7891 thank you, you will be in mine as well 🙏 and you’re very welcome

Thank you Dr Stephen this is quite an empowering view to reframe past traumatic events

This helped enormously. Thank you 🙏💛

Very very good change of perspective… thank you. Ahhh, there’s so much to learn, even if in a dire situation, there’s light at the end of the tunnel 🙏🥰

Thank you.

I don't quite fully grasp this info, as this has been the first time the 'body freeze term" (which I have used over and over with therapist past 2 years!!) Has been acknowledged as you have done here...thank you so very much ... I'm extremely grateful as I thought it was cowardice holding me back... I have extremely powerful forces that are continuing to hurt me. I intend to win the battle... the possibility of losing my life is a at least 50/50... But if that happens at least I will leave this world knowing I tried. Thank you for helping me to understand that I am not a coward

How do you return to normal after 10 years of what I’ve called “sleeping.” After so many years, the practical aspects of life, like finances and social health, are destroyed.

@harrieta6961

2 жыл бұрын

Good question 🤔

@annaavizur178

2 жыл бұрын

Me too. Everything I had, was, enjoyed was lost. Friends who knew and loved me, jobs, money, my home.....We have to find our true selves. One way is to recall good memories with a friend or therapist, in a journal or visually as you think about the memory. I think about how I felt at Girl Scout Camp. I picture all the fun and community things we did and how happy and safe and myself I felt. Also, do the things you used to like to do. I got a keyboard so I can reteach myself how to play the piano. I hope this helps. Hugs

interesting. i freeze when a car turns into me when i'm crossing the street.....

When I was 4 I just didn’t speak and had my head down when being abused. when my cousins and sister abused me I just layed there. When my physically abusive and sexually abusive cousin was hurting me I just pretended to be asleep.I was raped by three different men when I was 19 I completely shut down. Any time someone touches me I just look at the floor or away from them. I hate physical touch it literally makes my stomach drop especially if it’s out of the blue and on a part of my body that’s exposed.

I see a lot of misunderstanding about the term "Freeze", where it's understood not as "Shut-down and dissociate" but "What was that? Keep still and pay attention." The difference is that "What was that?" is a low-investment first response in case escalation to flight or fight is needed, whereas "Shut-down" is an all-in, escalated all the way last resort.

@philipholding

Ай бұрын

Spot on. The freeze response (part of the defensive cascade), is sometimes called ' attentional immobility'. The organism becomes still to protect against a predator, but is hypervigilent, and constantly considering ( or sensing) what to do next to get to safety. It mostly happens when it first detects danger, and can last for milliseconds to minutes, depending on the level of threat. It was also called the crouch behaviour. You see it in animals when they are first startled. They crouch or stoop momentarily before their next movement. I think the clip is referring mostly to tonic-immobility.

It's like when you drink to much and the brain shuts down and can't remember

It might shut down to save their life, but if the person is traumatized then it can happen in non-life threatening situations, or where running etc. would work better. One boy was very big and strong, like olympic strength; but he was constantly bullied by other kids because his father abused him as a child, due to feeling threatened by his strength. and so the boy couldn't fight back due to fear and trauma, and so he avoided school, and got Gaslit and punished for THAT. This is the travesty that affects trauma-victims.

Above all his tone and comforting worss do more good than two years of therapy ( andI mean good therapy if your lucky enough to find it ) When he said he almost cried reading her letter! wow you wont find that kind of help , that kind of empathy is highly discoursged and is not considered ethical in this field. thats why I didnt go into it because if I couldnt direct my passion to help people I would not last long.

Lady close the drape behind you. Or pull the shade . We don’t need to see the street and traffic. Really distracts from you message.