I feel so sorry for you. I'm from Germany and I didn't even knew they have the exchange students programm alive during this time. Even we, as german people, struggle so much with the c*rona situation. Also with mental health. And we life here, have our life here. But as a exchange student it really has to be so difficult and hard. I totally understand you. And I hope someday mabye you can come back and see Germany in another way. But the important point is, you are feeling better. I wish you all the best and lots of love.

@khaga007

2 жыл бұрын

Maybe not, too many pathological people live in Germany

@chaddy2409

2 жыл бұрын

@@khaga007 yes

@zanderalex2463

2 жыл бұрын

Absolutely correct! It is also difficult for us. Especially in the dark season it is important to have a few highlights to hold on to concerts, sports, the usually wonderful Christmas markets and the fun you have there, Christmas with the family, movies, New Year's Eve parties, ske driving in the Alps or the low mountain range. Hardly any of it can be really enjoyed at the moment, some of it is not possible at all. Then in exchange - that is already difficult!

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

9:23 - Did her host mother call her fat? and say that she's messy and untidy?

@chaddy2409

2 жыл бұрын

@@ItsameAlex she didnt say that from what i see

There should be a fluency program the year before the exchange where you’re required to learn the language. They should anticipate that students who don’t know the language AT ALL will struggle with schoolwork, friendships, isolation.... and therefore, mental health.

@ulisirius9027

2 жыл бұрын

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@ulisirius9027

2 жыл бұрын

There are very good teachers. kzread.info/dash/bejne/m6Cgo9Kgka_Nd6Q.html

@johnsoapmactavish9921

2 жыл бұрын

If you can't adapt to the fast pace learning environment that the program intends, then you're not fit for the program. Simple as that. Don't join the program if you're not ready. The program should not lower its standards from what is expected from American ambassadors to succeeed in the program and any future careers where you're gonna have to adapt an unknown environment.

@tommi7904

2 жыл бұрын

Or maybe you should know what you're getting yourself into and not even considering it without any language experience. I'm going into germany later this year and i've been studying since I was 10. They don't even let you go if you haven't been learning for at least 2 years beforehand.

@ulisirius9027

2 жыл бұрын

Confirmed. India has just bought oil from Russia-- at a discount (!) AND in rupees-roubles. This is the real story that you won't hear on the news.

it's funny that the German exchange students in the US talk about almost exactly the same problems, only often under the opposite sign. They gain weight because of fast food and miss the healthy food in Germany. They can never get anywhere on their own because there is no public transportation or bike paths, often not even sidewalks. The dependence on cars is a problem for many environmentally conscious young people. It's a shame that you didn't have the opportunity to really experience the lives of German youth through Corona. I'm sure your judgment would have been more positive without pandemic-related restrictions. The fact that not all of your life takes place at school has its advantages. Anyway, enjoy being back home and make sure the scars heal. That's what really counts

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

9:23 - Did her host mother say she was eating too much junk food, and that she's untidy?

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

'' environmentally conscious young people'' when China is creating so much pollution in the world.... it's sad

@tomhaswell6283

2 жыл бұрын

@@ItsameAlex Where the hell is this coming from?

@swissy5608

2 жыл бұрын

@@ItsameAlex Yeah, and it travels, too. People don’t realize that, but the scientists do. The entire US coast is tainted daily with pollution that blows over from China. When it hits landfall, all that crazy toxic pollution gets into the food, too.

@ulisirius9027

2 жыл бұрын

It can be. Mostly in States ruled by liberals. Liberalism is a mental disorder.

I did an exchange year in the US this year and left home back to germany early- exactly for these reasons too!

@Sophia-rk8qc

2 жыл бұрын

Im still here but I feel the same lol I won’t leave bc my parents paid a lot

@paulabremus6542

2 жыл бұрын

@@Sophia-rk8qc can 100% relate

@chukwuebukaokafor1015

2 жыл бұрын

Does you country need large quantity of Garcinia Kola???? am exporting 500kg at the rate of $16 pay kg, what do you think???

@Vaniamoreira222

2 жыл бұрын

@@Sophia-rk8qc It's true, the exchange program is very expensive. When our parents don't have much money and they make sacrifices for their children to study abroad we need to stay strong. 💪

@Sophia-rk8qc

2 жыл бұрын

@@Vaniamoreira222 that’s so true

I believe you made the right decision. Appreciate your honesty. Don’t ever give up the hope of returning one day! Try to keep up your German language skills too. The German language and culture changed my life. Had I not kept up my German in Highschool and college I would never have met my German wife Whom my soul loves so dearly. You never know where a second language will take you. Now I enjoy teaching German online and want to share this language and culture with as many people as I can. Great video , and May God bless your recovery and transition!

@whiteapple4737

2 жыл бұрын

Wish you and your wife alle the best :)

@kendeas5079

2 жыл бұрын

@@whiteapple4737 Dankeschön! I appreciate that!

@jbcumming

2 жыл бұрын

I had a friend from my college German class who married a German. When he met her family, he made the mistake of using Du prematurely and they were not happy. Thereafter, he refused to ever use anything other than "Sie." Perhaps, that's how "Thee, Thine, and Thou" left the English language. Later, a German protege of mine introduced his fiancee to me and I made the mistake of slipping in a "Sie" at one point. The poor girl thought I disapproved of her. I felt so badly. Now they're long married and she's a wonderful wife to her husband.

@74valeska

2 жыл бұрын

right...🙂

My dad was in the US Army and we were stationed in Germany in the mid-1970s. (Worms, Germany, if you know the country's geography.) I was 7, 8, 9 years old, living there for three years. Very young, but I grew to love Germany. I played soccer there and played it all the rest of my life (thus far!). I miss the country, the countryside, its castles, its cathedrals. its festivals, its music, its history, and I long to go back some day. This is what drew me to your channel in the first place: your channel allowed me to enjoy being in that country "again" through your own, new-to-Germany viewpoint. Aside from that, I didn't think you and I had anything in common. But you share here that you moved around so very many times growing up, and I hadn't realized that I had that in common with you when I started watching. (Moving around so often at a young age isn't easy on everyone.) Let me say you are very brave in so many ways, not least of all to step forward and share this personal experience of yours, which has obviously been troubling. If I may offer some unsolicited advice, you say in this video there are some personal matters involved in your decisions that you don't want to get into...may I suggest you should respect this boundary you've set for yourself. And anyone here following you should respect this boundary as well. You've been very giving of yourself, your time, and your experiences. But that doesn't mean you don't owe us anything, especially after you've released this video of explanation. Stay positive, hang in there, and be your beautiful self. Take your time. Good luck.

@SE-HH

2 жыл бұрын

It`s a bit off topic for the video, but I have to comment anyway. I, a German, was born and raised in Worms, and at that time I must have been around 12-14 years old. I must say, you or your parents did exceptional, as far as I remember, not many Americans at that time left their area except for some shopping or dining. If you played soccer in a German club, you definitely were an exception. I played it all my youth and can´t remember that a team ever had a "soldier kid" playing with them. The only area where it mixed were some music bands later. But I remember that on Backfischfest and other occasions we were always scared about the American army police 😀. The presence in Worms was stopped end of the 90s, the area of the Taukkunen Barracks has become an area with a hotel and some businesses, the Jefferson Village has been turned into a living area where most of the buildings have been replaced, some renovated.

@maylinde986

2 жыл бұрын

Oh, two now! My dad was stationed by Heidelberg and we lived in PHV.. also in the 70'...maybe there is... But..this Covid time..I wish you can make it back after that...and experience the Sunny Side of the country!

@chukwuebukaokafor1015

2 жыл бұрын

Does you country need large quantity of Garcinia Kola???? am exporting 500kg at the rate of $16 pay kg, what do you think???

@74valeska

2 жыл бұрын

thanks for your lovely words about G.! ;-)

I spent 5 years in Germany, and came back to Korea with very similar reasons. I speak German fluently, but still I suffered from depression. Thanks for sharing your experience. Wish you stay healthy!

Caroline, you did nothing wrong by coming back early to the U. S. It sounds like you had quite a few challenges but you also had some cool adventures as well while you were in Germany. Think about the good times that you did have while you were over there and what you did learn. You have learned many life lessons in such a short amount of time that many adults have not even confronted. You served yourself and your country well young lady, and you are ready to continue your life in a new year. with your friends and family. Stay strong and positive! We need more risk takers like yourself willing to get out of their comfort zone.

Mental health is totally important Have you been able to completely stop the eating disorder? Wishing you all the best 💓

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

9:23 - Did your host mother say you were eating too much junk food, and that you're untidy?

@graptemysnigrinoda738

2 жыл бұрын

She obviously didn't mention anything like that. Why do you spread lies? To make her look bad in public? You better find yourself another hobby and a job.

@iasciateognisperanza3267

2 жыл бұрын

Please, I beg you, dont use the term : “Mental Health” for mundane things like over eating, nostalgia, melancholy. We all experience those daily challenges. Mental Health is a more profound concept, more permanent and needs to be treated: Panic Attacks, Obsession, Total depression, Voices, Paranoia.schizophrenia and many others. Overseas, if you tell people that you have a mental health problem they associate it with craziness or lunacy. Just say, I feel lonely. I’m homesick. I miss my xxxxxx.

Caroline, it sounds like some of the scaffolding that should have existed for you, didn't. You should've had to take German language lessons for a year and reached some level of fluency before going there - because the language barrier really contributed to your isolation and inability to succeed at school. The CYBX program should have therapists on standby for kids so they can just call or text and be like "I need a therapist to talk through some food issues" and they can connect you with them. And the German host family should have been told (I don't know if you're the first kid they've hosted) that they may need to pull the kids out of their bedroom and engage with the family - playing board games, watching movies (with subtitles), going for bike rides together, whatever. If you'd had ALL that support, it would have been a very different experience for you. I am VERY hard on people, and generally feel most people coddle themselves too much. But nothing is more valuable than your mental health. For you to have stopped an eating disorder before it got completely out of control is HUGE. For you to have felt unstable and figured out what you needed to get stable is HUGE. Being able to advocate for yourself as a teenage girl is HARD and you did it. So be proud of yourself. You can go back to Germany later, under different circumstances, and I guarantee you'll have a great experience.

@elliebellie7816

2 жыл бұрын

The exchange program is NOT a babysitter. It's very passive to sit in your room crying because the host family isn't engaging you (supposedly) but is it ALL on them? No. As far as I know, there was nothing stopping her from stepping out of her room to engage with THEM. And there are plenty of online translation programs and most likely many English-speaking people in Germany that could have been helpful in navigating the language difficulties if she had sought them out. This was a poor fit for both her and for the program and it's a good thing she left and came home. Hopefully something learned there by all involved.

@lianevoelker9845

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, I think that sounds a bit unfair. We don't know what happened and how the host family tried to solve those issues. Maybe they did everything they could.

@chukwuebukaokafor1015

2 жыл бұрын

Does you country need large quantity of Garcinia Kola???? am exporting 500kg at the rate of $16 pay kg, what do you think???

@jbcumming

2 жыл бұрын

@@elliebellie7816 Why are you so cruel? Have you been in that situation or are you just an Übermensch_

@jbcumming

2 жыл бұрын

@@lianevoelker9845 and why are you piling on judgmentally just to be mean. No one's blaming the host family.

I am a cbyx student in the usa myself and I can really relate with your problems and I totally get them. Please don’t feel bad for quitting! You can be really really proud that you did a part of it. While I was watching your videos I thought many times that being an exchange student in Germany is way harder than being one in the usa, one reason is simply the German language. The situation with covid in Germany is so unfortunate too, if I did not have my school-sports here I wouldn’t know what to do either. I hope you feel better soon and I am excited to see what great things you will do in the future

@starseed8087

2 жыл бұрын

I don't want to say anything, I know what is meant. But it has annoyed me for a long time already that (it is always) Germans have to keep telling the whole world how difficult it is to learn the German language. Because it's not true. German is in the difficulty category rank 2 out of 5 ! It takes an average of 750 hours to speak German fluently, French and Italian, and Spanish an average of 600 hours (category 1). For Russian (Category 4) 1100 hours and for Chinese, Japanese and Arabic 2200 hours (Category 5). I personally know someone who took exactly 1 year in Germany to speak absolutely fluent German having only 3 hours of language school a week.

@elliebellie7816

2 жыл бұрын

Many many Germans speak almost perfect English. They teach it early on in school and follow through to the higher grades. You should know this better than anyone if you are German. I am extremely language-challenged but when I moved to Germany as a young bride it did not take long to pick up some very basic German and frequently all I had to do was ask if anyone spoke English and many Germans stepped in to assist.

@jbcumming

2 жыл бұрын

American education abuses children by not starting foreign language instruction until after their brains are formed making it difficult for them to learn the language, much less ever feel fully comfortable with it even after mastery. We need to reform American education to make early language instruction the norm as some schools do now with Spanish. That's not to say that German schools are totally better. American public schools require that teachers have studied education to be certificated; German public schools require that teachers have studied Pädagogik, which means that many Germans learn to speak English with a German accent like the accent of their teachers. One reason that universities excel is because they emphasize subject mastery over education theory. No one can teach what they haven't learned.

Wow wirklich mutig, dass du alles so ehrlich und detailliert erzählst. Die Lockdowns waren selbst für uns deutsche Schüler und Studenten sehr schwierig. Man kann sich nicht vorstellen, wie hart diese Situation als Austauschschüler gewesen sein muss. Ich hoffe, es geht dir wieder besser und du konntest trotz der frühen Abreise viel für dein Leben lernen und einige Erfahrungen sammeln. Sehr toll, dass du vorhast weiterhin die deutsche Sprache zu lernen, deswegen schreibe ich diesen Kommentar auch auf deutsch. Es ist toll viele Sprachen sprechen zu können und im Urlaub sich mit den Leuten unterhalten zu können. Ich wünsche dir alles Gute und Gottes Segen!

When i went abroad for studies, i knew there were going to be some cultural shocks, but i underestimated the overall impact they were going to have in my life. I felt everything you said

Well done! You saw your needs, and you took action for yourself. The exact opposite of "failure." I wish you the best!

I’m so glad you are home with your family and are taking care of yourself. You are not unsuccessful at all. You thought out everything very well in making your decision. I wish you all the best. You are a very sweet, intelligent young lady. Sending you love and healing. 💕💕💕

I am an exchange student in the United States from Germany right now and I know exactly what you mean. Being an exchange student is not always fun. Being away from home for such a long time and being so young is not easy at all. Sometimes I just want the time to pass quickly so I can be back home in my usual routine. I hope you still like Germany and although you went home, you are so brave for making an exchange year. This experience was hard but hopefully you still enjoyed a few moments and learned something from it for your life. Enjoy your time back home!

You seem like a strong, intelligent, focussed, and very self-reflecting person, who usually pulls through. So one can only imagine, how hard it must have been for you to make this decision. People often judge others for-what they think-is giving up. But you didn't give up, you didn't quit, you didn't disappoint. You made a mature decision and took a big, difficult step in an unexpected direction. You corrected your course. That takes a lot of courage and prudence. Pulling through is admirable. But pulling through for the wrong reasons does no-one any good. That way, you're just wasting time and potential, which is never a smart thing to do. Also, if you're facing mental health issues, and you have other options, get away from Germany as far as you can. You had the right intuition. As a German living in Germany, struggling with mental health issues for many years, I can only confirm, that you're pretty much on your own here. The standards are horrifically low, and the infrastructure is basically non-existent. So, you definitely did the right thing. I hope you'll feel better soon. All the best for you! And thanks a lot for sharing your experience.

@carolineruby

2 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this amazing and supportive comment! You don’t know how much it means to me. I really appreciate you taking the time to watch this video and support me through your kind words🫶🏼 I hope you have an amazing day!

It definitely sounds like you made the right decision. Disordered eating and feeling depressed might not go away right away, even though you are back now, so I'm really glad that you decided to get professional help. Those sound like really serious problems.

Thank you so much Caroline for being so open and honest about your experiences. It takes great bravery to do that. I love your channel and your intelligent and thoughtful comments on your experiences. With everything piling up against you you made the only choice you could by prioritising your mental health. You channel has showcased your many qualities. I know you will find your way out of this and grow from it. Best wishes to you.

I spent a year in the US when I was 17 and recall many of the feelings you mentioned. I had a really good host family though and the language was not such a big challenge as I had studied English since third grade, but I can imagine how tough it must have been sitting in class all day and not understanding what the teachers and fellow students were saying. You shouldn't have any regrets, I mean you still spent many months in another country and you got a chance to experience another culture first hand, something you will remember and talk about for the rest of your life. Take care and all the best!

you did the right thing. you are 16 and you took care of you. in a foreign country! others are suffering for years and don't make a decision. you did!! I wish you all the best and hope one fine day you will come back and visit germany. there are two things I am mad about: my fellow german teachers. it's a gymnasium thing (I'm in elementary). they just care for your school performance and they don't help you. how should someone without language skills succeed in a written test? they should have had ideas and help you. the second thing is: the host family has to be aware that they ARE mum and dad for you while you are here. those exchange students are really young and in a foreign country. sitting alone in your room, there is no excuse, they should have done sth. for you. good luck, have a good 2022.

@11moonshot

2 жыл бұрын

As a teacher myself I could not agree more!! I was pretty fed up about some colleagues too: Not too few had a strong German accent and did NOT care about their own personal improvement subject-wise... Mike (Cannot other say than feeling ashamed by this!)

@jbcumming

2 жыл бұрын

Very insightful. Once I was a guest in a German English classroom, and a student (of course, German English teachers like to call high school students "pupils", but then what do they know? :) Anyway, the student asked if the German Abitur is enough to get into an American college. I responded that Americans have never heard of the Abitur and could care less. Wow, that was a mistake to say. The English teacher immediately went into German to declare, "Die Abitur ist sehr wichtig, usw." What do you think about the Abitur and the Numerus Clausus system for German university admissions?

You know what, good for you girl. I have never studied abroad so although I can’t relate, I can very heavily sympathize with the struggle and tough decision and you should be proud for recognizing something is wrong and deciding to focus on yourself. Keep your head held high and I wish you a safe recovery.

I went to canada 19/20 so the year covid came around. I had mental struggles especially during winter time and I was thinking about going home almost everyday. Fortunately I „recovered“ because I didn’t want to be seen as someone who‘d quit. Then covid got more important, my host family and I canceled our travelplans and in the end I had to go home. I really understand you and the problems you‘ve had and thank you so much for sharing. I bet it is not hard at all to talk about how your mental health suffered while being in Germany. You also mentioned mental health in Germany and how people deal with it. It is very hard to see a therapist and it is a thing our government has to look at!! I wish you all the best and a great recovery and I hope you get to the point where you see this exchange as a great chance and challenge which has brought many struggles but also experiences. Lots of love

As a german myself, I can confirm how mental health isn't a serious enough topic here. It's quite the irony though, at least in my school and classes we talked a lot about the seriousness of mental health and how it could affect/affects people, but almost none of the teachers actually recognized students with mental health issues. The last two years of my Abitur I was in such a bad place, it's really shocking to me now, that I have recovered at least a little bit. But there was really no one that you could go to talk to, to get help. Our psychiatrists are all booked out, you rarely get the chance of help in time. It's definitely something germany has to work on a lot more.

@natascha5864

2 жыл бұрын

@Mia ; Well, the simple fact, that allpsychiatrists are booked out in Germany and that it is so hard to get help when you need it, is actually selfexplainatory, isn´t it...? So, yeah, many people in Germany do have a problem...

@glockenrein

Жыл бұрын

It seriously isn’t a teacher’s job to recognise or treat your mental state. Their job is to teach you maths. The rest is your parents’ job.

Good for you. You are one smart young woman. You saw things were not right and you evaluated your circumstances and made a decision to return home. Give yourself some GRACE. After all, who knows you best? You do. Best wishes and stay strong.

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

9:23 - Did her host mother say she was eating too much junk food, and that she's untidy?

@suehorn4182

2 жыл бұрын

@@ItsameAlex no indication of such. What a horrible comment to post.

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

@@suehorn4182 She insinuated/implied it. I think she even said it directly whether it was this video or another video.

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

@@suehorn4182 Also, what's horrible about it? Even if the host mother said that, it might be bad but not horrible.

No worries Caroline Ruby, you are better of now, so it seems the right decision for the moment. There's no place like home. Don't let it nag on you too much. I recall a conversation with the neighbors little boy, he worried so much for his current challenge and I reminded him he mastered how to ride a bicycle, he thought he could never learn it but of course he did. So it's: "hinfallen, aufstehen, Krone richten und weiter" (fall down, get up, straighten crown and continue). Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards. Soren Kierkegaard

Hello Caroline, thank you so much for sharing your very personal thoughts! You can be very proud of yourself for making that decision. You did nothing wrong and don‘t have to feel guilty in any way for quitting the program! It’s sad to hear that you weren’t able to built a routine, but this time with covid doesn’t make things easier. So I wish you all the best, get well soon. Don’t look back in grief, be proud that you realized what’s best for you and that you followed your heart, even if this way wasn’t the easiest way as well! And maybe some day you will come back to Germany with your family and enjoy the country as is. Thanks again for being so open and honest and for sharing your experiences!

As a German citizen who moved to US many years ago to attend university, I can attest to the cultural , educational and socialization differences between the to countries. I found school so much easier and people friendlier, but somewhat intrusive. I however adjusted. Your mental health is very important, hopefully you are doing better and have your eating disorder under control. Good luck to you in life!

So wonderful that you shared such a personal experience and introspection wth the rest of the world. Thank you! From all of this, please be happy and content. You will now go forward in life happier, more confident and productive. Wishing you all the best. You've got the right stuff!

leaving germany is probably one of the hardest, but best decisions i have made. you are so strong and inspire me so much. sending you all my love 🤍

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

9:23 - Did her host mother say she was eating too much junk food, and that she's untidy?

@minaazad2274

2 жыл бұрын

@Jean juju how lovely they are 😂 i can feel how freedom,kind and also sensitive americans can be. And this is exactly against german mentality values . 🤣

@diegesis6791

Жыл бұрын

@@minaazad2274 german mentality is just a brick wall expecting everyone to think the same way as them.

I turned 18 during my 12 month exchange and back then I thought 16 is to young to do a whole year of exchange, and I still think it is to young. And with no knowledge of the language what though ever I think is a really, really bad idea. Good you took care of you mental health and went back home. Be proud of what you have achieved, it is much more then all the people who never tryed!

@jbcumming

2 жыл бұрын

Look for my comment in which I describe what it was like to be 18 in Germany in 1955.

You did what you had to do. We're not here to judge you in any way and neither should you. You were strong enough to recognize your mental health needs and to make a decision that most of us would try to delay as much as possible even in a time of crisis. We like you because you are transparent, you tell us things the way they are. I wish there were more people like you on KZread. For now, I can only say that you should be proud of yourself and that I wish you a good recovery. Have a nice 2022! :)

This! I am from Germany and went abroad almost 6 years ago. My destination was Japan and I had luckily studied Japanese before I left. Nevertheless I struggled with school, friends and isolation. My mental health was at an all time low and I returned to Germany earlier than anticipated. What I was left with was an eating disorder, felling of guilt and a crippling self esteem. None of that was the fault of the country I went to but due circumstance. You are so brave for making your trip out here in the first place and then also looking after yourself in retuning home. I felt ashamed and as if I had failed myself and everyone else when k returned early but came to the conclusion that I had failed myself in not looking after myself earlier. I highly respect you for your braveness, honesty and maturity. If you ever do return to Germany I hope we can make your trip as pleasant as possible and heal some of the wounds that need closure. I started being able to talk about my experience living in Japan only after I went on vacation there a few months later and found myself in love with the country again. You are incredible for what you have achieved and know that those experiences you have made a shared amongst exchange students from all countries wherever they go! You are not alone in this :)

You tried something hard in a time that makes it even more challenging than it already was and you added a lot of new challenges to your life. Never underestimate the good things you can learn even after bad experience. A thing i really want to highlight: talking about the struggles and mental health. So many struggles can be overcome by talking with friends and family. Sadly in Germany parents misinterpret this as complaining and won't see the mental struggles caused by ignoring the problem. Your video makes me very confident that you are on the right way to accomplish way more in life and gives me hope that this young generation is able to overcome this hard times and take the experience to build strength for future tasks. Blessings and greetings from germany

@BlackAdder665

2 жыл бұрын

Good points but, please, don't generalise German parents. No such thing as THE German parent who is always indifferent or uncomprehending towards their children's problems. There are also HUGE regional differences, differences between social classes etc. etc.

@marcop4136

2 жыл бұрын

@@BlackAdder665 stimmt. Ich arbeite leider an einem dieser "Brennpunkt". Da verliert man schnell den Blick für positiv Beispiele

@BlackAdder665

2 жыл бұрын

@@marcop4136 Jupp, das Sein bestimmt das Bewusstsein, nicht wahr? Ich kenne das. Nicht von der Arbeit, aber von einer meiner Wohngegenden. Es macht einen Unterschied in Bezug darauf, wie man die Menschheit wahrnimmt, ob man morgens aus dem Fenster schaut und sieht einen Betrunkenen an die Laterne pinkeln oder eine Mutter ihr Kind anschreien oder man sieht einen Jogger auf dem Weg zum Park oder auf dem Rückweg mit einem Belohnungscroissant in der Hand.

Hello Caroline, I'm new to your channel, but as a fellow American who is currently still abroad through another program, I wanted to say that I totally understand your struggles and that you shouldn't feel bad in the slightest for your decision. I myself am in Austria rather than Germany, but I've still had to deal with essentially the same issues. I've only been here since September and I am committed to staying until June as I originally plan for a few reasons. 1. I've never been too interested in team sports, so I'm not missing out on that like you have been 2. Hiking is one of my favorite outdoor activities, and here in Austria, I'm actually having a lot more fun because of all of the gorgeous mountains 3. Covid is obviously still very present in America, so going home won't help with restrictions 4. I met an awesome girl in Vienna and we've been dating since early Obtober, which has both been incredibly fun and has helped me a lot with loneliness Number 4 has easily had the biggest impact on me, during my first month here I definitely felt more alone and I didn't feel like there was much that I could do on the weekends, and it doesn't help that making regular freinds is hard for me in the town that I'm living in. Anyways, I just wanted to share a little bit about what's helped me and to again emphasize how much I understand your struggles and respect your decision. Liebe Grüße aus Österreich.

@jbcumming

2 жыл бұрын

Number 4 is the key. My relationship with Mechthild, who took me under her wing and helped me to take what I thought was adequate German to the next higher level which was what I needed. Then, when I came home, I was blessed to be able to study Faust with Benno von Wiese, who was a guest professor that year. I never could have kept pace with Professor von Wiese without the higher level German that I gained from dating Mechthild. I love her still, though she stayed there and I came back to the land of Strassenkreuzer.

hey caroline! you probably won’t see this but i’m also doing an exchange year here in germany. i cannot tell you how much i related to this video. i went through something really similar when omicron came around. i was so homesick, anxious, depressed, lonely, and on top of it i also developed a binge eating disorder. i just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and i hope you’re doing better ❤️❤️

@carolineruby

2 жыл бұрын

I’m so sorry you’ve had to face the same things during this time! i really hope things have gotten better for you and I’m proud of you for staying strong❤️

Caroline, you are great for simply following what you, yourself want and need. Germany was a bold adventure. You should have no regrets coming home when you did. Nothing to blame. Nobody is wrong. As wonderful being over there was, life simply was not working out for you... given all that you described. I lived in Europe for many years, including in Germany. When it became clear it was time to leave, I simply left. It actually took a little time for me to get settled back here. But that was part of the whole adventure. No regrets. I'm glad I went. I'm glad I came back.

I went through a similar experience when I had an exchange year in 2001. I cut it off early due to home sickness and a bit of depression. Then, I came back later because I was still interested in Germany. But, if I hadn’t found my now wife, then girlfriend, quickly after arriving the second time in Germany, I probably wouldn’t have stayed.

@jbcumming

2 жыл бұрын

Lucky you!

Ich denke, deine Entscheidung war richtig. Überleben ist das wichtigste. Den Rest kannst du später erreichen oder auch nicht. Wir leben im Moment komische Sachen. Covid ist nicht zu verharmlosen. Alles Gute und vielleicht, wenn du noch Bock auf diese Gesellschaft hast, kannst du uns wieder Gesellschaft leisten :-) :-) :-)

Hey Caroline! I thought your video was very interesting. Thank you for opening up about your struggles with the exchange year. I'm German-American and currently living in Germany. Mental health is a big issue in both countries. I think it's important to highlight that this was your experience. Getting a Therapist anywhere can take a while. But making a statement like that about Germany's mental health options isn't helpful at all. Acceess to Therapists can depend on your region, insurance, financial freedom and so on. If you're gonna make a statement like that then I would kindly ask you to back up that claim with sources. Anyway I wish you the best and hope that you can come back to Germany one day and have a better experience! Liebe Grüße

@Simon-om5qo

2 жыл бұрын

kzread.info/dash/bejne/n66BzI-vYdazeZc.html

Hey Caroline, thank you so much for making this video. It is so relatable to me. This is exactly how I've been feeling for the past 12 months, living in Berlin. This insane loneliness, and losing who you are at home (Holland for me) is very tough. I admire your mature reflection on these events and having the courage to leave. I haven't yet -- and trust me, it does not get better. Enjoy your time back at home! You are super courageous.

Ich denke es ist schwer mit 16 Jahren in ein anderes Land zu gehen. I couldn’t have made it to the United States when I was 16. Don’t worry about it, i hope your impression of Germany wasn’t too bad You are a nice woman & I wish you good luck, success & many health.

@cmdstraker

2 жыл бұрын

Seien wir ehrlich, in normaleren Zeiten wären die Dinge für Caroline weit besser gelaufen.

@ceevee5233

2 жыл бұрын

I did an exchange in Germany when I was 16. Drank like a fish, feasted like a king, and am still over here with the same beautiful German girl 14 years later!

@cmdstraker

2 жыл бұрын

@@ceevee5233 That's the way an exchange year is supposed to work, isn't it?

@ceevee5233

2 жыл бұрын

@@cmdstraker Ya buddy, exactly as intended ;)

@JassBo83

2 жыл бұрын

I was 23 when I left to the US, as an AuPair, living with host families. I get it. I went through depression too, lost my mom and my home after 2 months in the US. I lost it all to be here, lost friends in Germany, was abused, used, was homeless in the US, lost my visa, and my stability. 15yrs later I have a family, I'm a citizen now, work a career job. However, we didn't have Covid in 2007. And I was a little crazy for not goin home when my mom passed in July 2007. Good luck with your mental health and all the best with your relationships to your family and friends.

Im finding myself in the same situation atm and Im very grateful that you are sharing your experience with us, because this is helping me a lot right now !

Hello Caroline : I completely understand your decision and it is a good thing that you stood up for yourself and your mental health. Don't see it as a failure, sometimes circumstances press us to make new decisions and then it's good to just 'go with the flow'. Wishing you succes. Greetings from Belgium!

Sorry to hear that things didn’t workout entirely well in Germany for you. As a CBYX student in Germany right now, i’ve already had to change once, seen many others in the program change, and witnessed a person from my Berlitz language group already go back. It’s so difficult being an exchange student, and i’ve honestly felt depressed at times. You made the right decision, and you should be proud that you progressed so much in regards to your German skills in such a little amount of time. I hope you recover well and if you’re able to, please visit Germany again in the future! Ashley, Kadon, and me (esp since i haven’t gotten to meet you yet in person) would be happy to see you again!

@carolineruby

2 жыл бұрын

Happy to say that I’ll be visiting in March with my family :) I’ll be in the Frankfurt area so I’ll definitely make time to plan something with y’all! I’d love to hang out!!!

Hi Caroline, Guten Tag, You obviously made the right decision. Nothing is wasted. Your experience in a foreign country will always be with you, and may well prepare you for any other future difficult period in your life that everyone at some time or other has to cope with. You come across as convident and articulate. You are a great gal ! God bless you ! From Nigel in England (I am a 77 year old grandad).

I never would have lasted a year as a teenager in another country. Lasting a whole semester is impressive! Im honestly surprised why the exchange programs are a full year long. For young kids that seems excessive 🤔.

@t.a.yeah.

2 жыл бұрын

In my class were a few people that left for a half year. ^^

@NoahKahan67

2 жыл бұрын

You can do two weeks,three months,a half a year, 9 months, 11 months. I know of people who went a year and had a great year but I also know of people who really struggled for the complete year🤷🏼‍♀️

@linajurgensen4698

2 жыл бұрын

It’s not always a year, one of my former classmates went abroad for half a year.

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

in Europe we have Erasmus which is half a year

@fruzsimih7214

2 жыл бұрын

I live in Central Europe and my sister went to the US as a high school student. She first wanted to stay until Christmas but then decided after a month she would stay the full year, including high school graduation. It was an amazing experience for her that pulled her out of some self-destructive habits (nothing too shocking, but still) she had as a teenager. She returned a much more collected, mature person.

Please don’t feel bad about yourself for quitting the program. What you’ve been through - I can’t even imagine what it must feel like. I used to suffer from depression so i can imagine how you felt - but to have to cope with that in a foreign country constantly feeling alone without your family and friends for support that is definitely so much worse. If you would’ve stayed you probably would’ve gotten worse and that’s not the point of an exchange year. The point is to experience new culture, learn the language and especially have fun. But all of that suffered from your mental state and that’s just not the point of an exchange year. Please really try not to feel bad about that so you can get better now, I wish you the best :)

G'day Caroline, nice to see you again and this time with much more brighter eyes and a happy face. Dont judge yourself about your decision, which was totally right to do so and dont allow others to judge your decision which are important for your life. Well this covid and I am convinced the amount of 7 moves you had to do, brought you out of balance and a stable environment you need to live enjoying your life. I am sure without these, even facing a new language and new culture, you would have managed it. As mentioned once before, you did a tough decision when you decided to be on exchange for a year in such a young age. Be assure with the decision going back you did right, very well done, and first of all you have to think to your own health, doesnt matter what other people would think. I hope you will recover soon !!! Crossing my fingers for your next goals continuing to learn german and may be in future you will come back to Germany just for longer vacation and travelling to lots of parts in Germany which are different and nice for most of americans. The youtuber Montana Showalter also has made her exoeriences. I think you do mind exchanges and information with all other exchangers anyway. I wish you all the best for 2022. Btw, making such statements in public it shows to me you are a strong girl. Dont consider the time here as a lost time in your life, no way, you did experiences good and even bad which makes you even stronger for your future. Dont look back in a negative way, take the experiences for a better future.

Thank you for sharing your experience. It's important to understand your feelings. I had a visa in Japan for 3 years, and due to an issue, I went back home in 2.5 years. I completed my stay there, but I didn't renew it. So, you do what you must, especially for your mental health. I was in Japan for about 1-3 years, but now, I look back and am glad I did it. Trying to be somewhere with a new language and culture isn't easy. It happens to many from 3-6 months. So expected that it's hard to be connected. I'm sorry you had an issue with food and mental health. It's great that you understood what was happening and got the support (Your family), and realized you needed to be home.

I did the 2018-2019 year of CBYX, the last full year of the program before Covid. I had a really hard time in my first host family and developed some of the same issues you did, and that was without the added stress of a pandemic. I actually was on a swim team in Germany but wasn't able to get to and from practice regularly. I had the same problems with school too, participation-wise. Couldn't speak German fluently but my teachers expected me to be taking the tests and contributing in class. Things got a lot better for me around the end of December but that was only after I was able to switch host families and move to a better environment. I totally understand why you made the decision to come home. Sometimes it takes more bravery to leave than to stay.

@itsmaddiek7719

4 ай бұрын

I'm a current student with the same problems. But I only have 2 months left so it might not be worth it to switch.

I am on a exchange year in Canada this year, I am from Sweden. I know and I can relate to what you feel. I have almost the same. But everything is still hard but after I change host family everything is going fine. I understand why you did leave, I think it is so good that you made that difficult decision for yourself. You are strong girl, it is not easy to study abroad. It is just us people with this exchange student experience that can really relate and really understand. Hope you getting better!❤️

I'm proud of you for making this correct decision! It has been 2 years now, but just in case that (I don't know that it did, just if) something illegal happened to you in your host family, it is important to report it to authorities and police, even after 2 years it might not be too late. Even if nothing comes of it.

With all due respect (for a young lady that appears to be a genuinely nice person): Why would someone go to a foreign country as an exchange student (not tourist) without knowing at least the basic elements of the language of the host country? I honestly do not get it.

As a German, I am sorry that you had to leave early and I hope you really find the strength to apply for another experience year as like "Work and Travel" in a foreign country. You seem to be that kind of person who absorbs all the new experienced things, good and bad, and you learn from it. That is most valuable.

@iasciateognisperanza3267

2 жыл бұрын

It was bad timing. I was an exchange student a while back. My spoken German is solid after all these years. Though, my writing skills need constant revisions. It’s a hard language. I went to a German School all my life. 2021 was the wrong year for anything. I have wonderful memories of my first exchange. It was too short ! The worst part is that such experiences are just once in a lifetime. I’ve been to Germany more than 20 times since then. Hopefully I’ll be there this November, so Covid go away !!!

I was surprised they even run the program given the current situation. It's an added challenge to an already huge challenge. It's in no way a failure on your side. You seem very driven and I have no doubt everything would have went swimmingly (see what I did there) under normal circumstances. Respecting your own health and making the hard decision is not the same as being a quitter.

I am on an exchange program and I think these organizations should have a professional psychologist for kids to talk to. If they have this kind of support exchange students can get help when they have small problems and it will stop them from getting bigger.

@carolineruby

Жыл бұрын

I totally agree!!

@silviahoffmann158

19 күн бұрын

Schools r a money grab

thank you for being vulnerable. mental health needs to be taken seriously. but know you don’t have to feel guilty at all about why you left. as long as you are better leaving and healthy now. it’s the best thing you could have done for you. with no need for explanation. perhaps another day you can return.

Covid has affected many exchange students. My daughter had to leave the U.S. march 2021 because of the pandemic. She studied in Flagstaff AZ (NAU) and could not stay the full planned period because mostly everything shut down there at his time. Her american roommates and other foreign students left too so it made no sense to stay. You did the right decision. There was no good reason to stay under the circumstances you described. It was not a failure.

My youngest sister took part in an Australian exchange when she was a teenager and she also came home early as welll. The way she put it was, she missed our late mother (Mum was alive then). The other reason was she was having problems with her host family ( I think it had to do with conservative religion.) However, she did meet a young man and enjoyed his company (this might have triggered the religious aspect.) She got something out of her experience, I like the fact she had a boyfriend from a different culture which goes to show love knows no boundries. Keep your interest in Germany, you never know, it could work out for you as an adult. Take care.

Girl I totally feel for you! I studied abroad for 6 months in college & even though it was years before COVID, your points about being lonely were exactly how I was feeling the entire time! & I also had struggles with my host family (just a single, middle aged woman). She didn’t make me feel welcome & one night right before dinner she called me out for not having any friends & not going out to do things, which was quite traumatic because I was already feeling super isolated & was fully aware of not having any friends there. I didn’t need her to rub it in. You absolutely made the right choice! Germany will always be there (more than likely). You can always go back when COVID dies down & do things on your own terms.💕 I’m wishing you the best in your recovery!

Sounds like a whole bunch of things went wrong for you! I am sorry you had to go through this sort of thing - seems like more than a few things in your exchange went completely awry. I hope you will at some point still be able to come back and have some more successful visit in this country! Take care, recover and stay - no, become strong!

I am proud of you for prioritising your mental health and being strong enough to advocate for yourself in that difficult situation. That's huge and no one can take away that strength.

I see this video is two years old. I hope you've had a lot of good times since you made it, Caroline. It was brave thing to be a foreign exchange student, brave of you to make the necessary decision to come home and brave to make this video. COVID was hard on us all because it really shut down our social lives. It sounds like you didn't know much German when you got there. That would have been tough. I wish you had changed families, whether you ended up coming home early or not. I made friends with a German foreign exchange student here in America many years ago. She changed families part way through the year because she was so unhappy with her first family. Her second family was much better and she was very happy with them. As I'm sure you've learned, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. You, a teenager, did the best you could under difficult circumstances. None of us is perfect or ever will be on Earth. I admire your strength! Remember, you're never alone. May I suggest that you lean on the everlasting arms of Jesus, the Son of God. Much happiness to you now and in the future! You have what it takes!

I remember watching your video before even finishing my application to CBYX, and now as a CBYX "finalist" currently in Germany, I relate to literally everything you've said and I'm so conflicted... I plan on staying until January before deciding to go home at the least. My heart goes out to you, and I know making that decision is not easy, especially you're in contact with other CBYXers. I hope you're better now and that you know you're not alone in your experience

Dealing with a totally different environment is difficult at any time. I'm surprised you had the strength to even start this exchange at this time. You'll feel better, and I bet this made you even stronger. You can always try different experiences in the future. More often than not, life is longer than it seems, no rush.

Girl we feel you and are here for you. We totally understand you.

what a mature step to take, dear. quite the opposite of unsuccessful. i‘m a german and was on exchange in the US. my year was as hard as yours and i wish i had dared to care for myself and go home earlier. it took a huge toll on my mental health that i was miserable for a whole year. down the road i‘m sure you will be proud of yourself for quitting!

Glad that you paid attention to how you were doing and analyzed your situation the way that you did. Good for you! I'm sure that your parents are happy that you did! Great plan for your near future! Wishing the Best for you!

@carolineruby

2 жыл бұрын

thank you! that’s so kind❤️ I appreciate it!

You’re so brave for sharing your story and I’m so glad you did! Please don’t feel like a failure or a disappointment. Even considering an exchange year and going through with it is such a success and something I know I never could have done. So be proud of yourself for everything you did. And be especially proud of the fact that you listened to your body and mind and did what was best for you. That is an incredible strength! I’m from Berlin and I never understand why exchange students have to live in small towns or even villages when they come to Germany. I could never imagine living in such an environment simply because I love the buzz of the city and all the opportunities you have here. Personally I feel like it’s super unfair towards the exchange students to place them somewhere where they don’t have the change to live a fairly independent life. The fact someone had to drive you to your gym otherwise you couldn’t go.. that’s a no go in my opinion. There are two gyms in my street and like 10 in my area. I feel like you would have had a completely different experience when you had the access to a lot more of the things Germany has to offer. Such as the cultural offers and everything around it. Plus in Berlin it’s not as hard to find a therapist as it might be in in some smaller places. Especially not for minors. You’d have an appointment with a therapist within a week. So pls don’t be hard on yourself, the whole environment you were in made it super hard for you. But! You can always come back and stay here with friends for a couple of weeks or even work here for a year when you’re an adult. There are endless opportunities and you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself for ending something that wasn’t ideal anyways :) I hope I was able to bring across what I wanted to say.

I hope you feel better soon ❤️ I just have to say that you are so brave for making this decision and speaking so openly about it. It’s not quitting, it’s making the right choice for you! And I can imagine how hard the exchange was. As a 17 year old I went to Australia. The language was a bit challenging at first but was fine. But the mental health, dependency on others for transport, host family struggles and disordered eating are all things I recognise. You are brave and not alone! I hope you can look back on this experience later on in life and see what it brought you 😊

The difference between conversational and studying / working in a foreign language is huge. I also left an exchange in germany early since I couldn't keep up in my math science classes. I hope you get another chance to live in Germany, I ended up taking a job at a German international where I can work in English and slowly improve my German in low stress situations.

Hey Caroline - I started watching your channel because I was curious how someone from a different culture would fare in Germany, and while I did enjoy the many things you shared about your experience in that regard, I am now following your channel because of you as a person. I wish I had been half as reflective and smart as you are when I was your age. You should be really proud of yourself, and it seems like you did absolutely the right thing in coming back to your home country. Don't ever let anyone make you feel like you failed. You didn't fail, you grew as a person in a way that most adults never do. That is way more important than finishing some program you committed to. I can't wait to see what you do next and am sure that you have a happy healthy life ahead of you! I hope you are feeling better very soon!

Sorry to hear your story. I am in Germany now and I can imagine your life at that moment. Thank you for sharing your story

I’m so proud of you for trying you absolute best and pushing through. Being in a new environment with strangers and a foreign language sounds so scary but you managed to do it! it was very important that you focused on your mental and physical health over staying there. You will always remember these experiences no matter how long you stayed. I’m happy your back and I can’t wait to see you!! See you at school😉

Stop apologizing please. You did the right thing. Stand straight and take one of your deep, powerful breaths. You will be missed in Germany. You left footprints. 🤗

Weird. All the foreign exchange students at my son's Gymnasium, regardless of which country they came from, were required to speak, read and write the German language at a certain level in order to ensure they could integrate and learn. Gymnasium is no joke. For all intents and purposes, it's an advanced prep school with its graduating diploma (the Abitur) being the equivalent of completing the first year of a four-year college. It ranks as one of the best free high school educations in the world. This is nothing against you, but not knowing the language, you should never have been sent there, I'm sorry to say. Good luck in your future endeavors.

Hey Caroline, I‘m impressed, you made a mature decision for yourself and obviously made your mind about it. All your reasons are right and justified. So no need to have remorse about your decision at all. As a German, I hope you may find the time to do what you said, improve your German and pass a test. This might help a lot once you decide to return to Germany and give it another try. The pandemic of course is a burning glass for all kinds of issues. We Germans in Germany suffer under various restrictions and can’t run our life’s just like we did before and I‘m afraid we won’t ever again. But maybe in a different also convenient way. We will see. All the best wishes and maybe we read/hear from each other again.

I don't want to hate anyone here, but it makes me so sad and I find it disrespectful that many people talk so badly about Germany. The most probably haven't even been there... but I can say that Germany is an impressive and beautiful country, from the villages to the cities, over the people and the culture. So to all those who put Germany down just because of Caroline's point of view, think about That! :((

@TD-ix2ui

2 жыл бұрын

No its not. Ger sucks

Definitely agree that mental health isn't taken seriously enough in Germany! It's a real problem.

@aperturix

2 жыл бұрын

Die USA sind aber kein Vorbild, schon gar nicht im medizinischen Bereich. Der ganze Apparat in den USA steht doch nur der wohlsituierten, meist weißen Mittel- und Oberschicht zur Verfügung. Für die sozial Schwachen ist doch schon das Insulin für Diabetiker kaum erschwinglich. Und um deren mentale Befindlichkeit schert sich kein Mensch.

My comment is not to criticize you in any kind of way. I commend you for putting your mental health first, and I respect that. My comment is to shine a light on positive experience living/moving to Germany. I moved from Thailand to Germany when I was 9. Unlike you, I was lucky to have my brother and my mom living with me. So that could make a big difference. Having to learn a completely different culture, different languages, different school system, different food, and making new friends was new to me. Schools - in Thailand, we also had the multiple choice system. Due to the language barrier, I started memorizing German sentences from the school books (whatever subject it was) words for words. So, when I had to write an answer, I would just write the sentences I memorized. Math was easier since it was math. My teachers also allowed me to dictionary at that time so.I understood what the prompt of the tests. Friends - being Asian and a new kid at the school, I got somewhat bullied, but nothing malicious. I think it was more because kids were curious and didn't know how to approach me. I must say I made "friends" fast. Most of the times, I made an effort to walk up to them to ask if I could sit and hang with them during "Pause". I didn't experience anyone turning me down. However, there was this particular experience that has changed my outlook and who I am as a person forever. It happened during a math test. I kept asking my "friend" to borrow her calculator. After the 4th or 5th time, I started yelling at me "Also, mal! Es ist jetzt genug, ja? Seh ich aus, wie ein Laden oder was?! Kauf dir doch deinen eigene Taschenrechner, ay!". My eyes were filled with tears. That was not what I used to coming from Thailand. 1) I didn't kn you were allowed to use a calculator. 2) Friends are friends in Thailand. We don't mind sharing. The funny thing was after the test, that girl that yelled at me, hung out with me as if nothing had happened. From this experience, I had learned that Germans are very independent. Once I have learned to become more independent, I had no problem integrating into the German society. This brings me to another point. Hobby - I met most of my friends/acquaintances from activities I decided to explore. If I wanted to play basketball, I just walked up to the neighborhood basketball courts and asked to play. Then I became friends with these people. I wanted to do jazz aerobics, I joined the community jazz aerobics class. Eventually, I made friends there. I wanted to play volleyball, I joined a Sportvereigruppe, and eventually, I became friends with these girls. Since I was a teen, I didn't have my Führerschein. So, I walked or biked to wherever I needed to go. Whenever I was bored in my room, none of friends was available, I just hopped on my bike and started riding it from my house to die Stadt (about 8.4 km one-way; there and back = 16.8km) grabbed some McDonalds, and rode back home. Eventually, that became an activity I truly enjoyed and add it to my weekly routine. As mentioned, I didn't have a driver's license, but I always got to where I needed to go, by Strassenbahnen, buses, walking, or biking. Even to my high school, I took Strassenbahn and a bus. Now that I live in the US, I can say that the big difference is German requires a lot of independency in order for one to make it. Americans are a lot more "I need my car. I need my friends" type of society. My advice would be learn the langauge rigorously; I was fluent within 6 months. Assert yourself into a conversation. Make the first move and continue making the first move, invite them out when trying to make friends. Join different Sportvereinen oder Interessengruppen. Don't be shy to venture out on your own. By being independent, you will end up making friends there. 🙂

Going to another country for the first time and living with a family that isn't yours, that doesn't pay as much attention to you as you'd expect and doesn't speak your native language is not easy, especially in the beginning. I went through the same experience, but as an au pair in France. At first it was difficult, I felt alone and I wanted to go back to my country, but my parents didn't have much money and I had already quit my job to be an au pair in France. And my mother told me to be strong and keep going because I always wanted to be fluent in other languages ​​and this was my big opportunity so I stayed. But at first I felt very alone, I even ate a lot of chocolate because of anxiety and everything is more difficult when we don't have friends to talk to and share our problems with. The good thing in my case is that in addition to attending French school every morning I was an au pair and had to take care of the children after school. It kept me busy and helped me learn French really fast. But each one faces different situations and the main thing is to maintain our mental health. After all, living in another country is always possible and there will always be other opportunities.

@chukwuebukaokafor1015

2 жыл бұрын

Does you country need large quantity of Garcinia Kola???? am exporting 500kg at the rate of $16 pay kg, what do you think???

I'm an American living in Germany, and I can relate to you so much here, even though we're at different stages of our lives. I moved to Germany a while back, and two years ago, right before the pandemic started, I moved to Italy. So this is the second time I've done the whole moving-to-a-new-country thing, and Corona-19 made it SO much harder. It's not just the physical restrictions, there are so many effects that you hardly even think of. For example, if you're learning a new language, not being able to see people's lips when they speak, or all of their facial expressions, makes it harder to communicate. Or having external activities where you can meet people. Like you, it was a lot of factors put together that made me decide to leave, not just the pandemic. But that exhausting, neverending hopelessness of feeling alone in a place you don't want to be anymore, coming to terms with the idea that the reality that replaced a long-term dream isn't what you hoped is so hard to accept. It is admirable that you could look at everything honestly and act on it. I ended up moving back to Germany because I was here long enough that it felt like "home" to me (but trust me, I remember how hard that first Christmas overseas was, too). Don't think of it as giving up, when you're doing what you need to do to be healthy and happy. In the end, every experience is powerful, even bad ones. I hope you have many more happy ones, exploring world which starts healing soon.

I believe the timings were wrong. 2021 was just too early, imho. Germans take a while to open up but when they do, they are wonderful friends. I too went to Germany as an exchange student. Back then we had no internet, no cellphones, but I had 1 guest brother , one guest sister, and they had tons of friends. I cried when I had to come back. I knew that the exchange experience was over. We are still friends and I visit them whenever I’m in Germany. Don’t blame your on “mental health”, it was loneliness and homesickness. I firmly believe that exchange students have to be place in families with similarly aged children. It’s more fun. Candies, chocolates? Trust me Aldi was my favorite store over there. To all of you who are planning to go as exchange students, :”A year goes by Faaasssst ! , Enjoy, Talk to others, Do things that you dont do at home, travel, make friend, dont expect them to talk to you first. Talk to them. Be good. Time flies and soon you’ll be back home”

Caroline, you did everything right. I hope, you will remember the good things and come back to Germany in the future, hopefully after covid...

If you are thinking about going to a foreign country where you don't have a working knowledge of the country, start by by listening exclusively to that country's local radio station on its internet site. If you find it is too difficult to get by or you feel lost or insecure, it means that you will have difficulty and an experience like this. College is difficult as it is, so you should be comfortable with college to begin with, and then only consider an exchange program once you know enough of the language that will be required of you.

The decision was very difficult for you and we understand your reasons. Covid-19 has unfortunately made life and experience difficult with the CBYX program. Greetings from Germany

Dear Caroline, thank you for your openess. I am an US married with a German and have three children, teenage to grown up. We had some exchange students from Chile with us but only for 2 months. It is a great challenge to come to a complete foreign country, foreign family, foreign language, foreign habbits, foreign food ect. Even under normal circumstances it is difficult, but with c.... , that even parted the German society, where even hate rose up between people, it seems impossible to enjoy all the opportunities. Even German children and teenagers had hard a time and quit a few had and still have social and mental problems, eating disorders and yes, there is a uge lack on therapy. And now the war in the Ukraine... You made the best choice to return to your save haven at home with family and friends. Please remember the nice sides and hopefully return in more peaceful time to enjoy the beauty of the country and the joyful live of the Germans. All the best for you.

I stumbled across a couple of your videos, and it is two years after you uploaded them. I hope you are better now. I am glad that Americans take mental health much more seriously, and I wished in Europe it was better. (I’m in the UK now, and it feels a little bit better here than in Germany, but still no comparison at all to what I hear about the US.) What you said was pretty eye-opening for me. Thank you for this. When I was an exchange student, 30 years ago now, there were issues as well. One guy even left early, and I am still wondering what would have helped him … but we talked only a little bit. I do believe that sometimes it is better to leave a situation, especially when things stack up and it just is not right or too much. I did that a few times in my life, and I think those were the right decisions. And the way you described your situation, it sounded a lot like that sort of thing. Anyway, I wish you all the best. :)

Good for you Caroline, putting you mental health in front of everything is very important. And this is YOUR life, no one has the right to tell you what you don't want to do. Viel Glück💞✊

Wishing you the best back home. You made a sound decision, don't feel that you have failed in any way. "Quitting" does not nescessarily amount to failure. You assessed your situation, came to reasonable conclusions, decided, and acted rationally and justifiably to take a step back; you chose to live to fight another day. Germany and the wide world will still be here; covid will not last. Take care of yourself, and try to remember that life is a marathon, not a sprint. You got this. :-) -- A Cannuck in Deutschland

As an adult expat in Germany your experience and observations is sadly spot on. Surely the Panera Bread was a factor but this country is just plain like this and I’m so sorry it affected you in a negative way at such a young age. I am happy you are home safe and able to get back on track physically and mentally. It may take you some time to reprogram per se but focus on you for some time. Your channel will be here. Get back to being you!

Hello 🥺, I have never feel so related to someone history as when you tell how you were feeling. I totally understand how this experience can generate literally a change in life the feeling of loneliness really felt it because is like you have this sadness inside even though you are with people. So sad this is not discuss as frequently as other topics, people should advice before going abroad even if it for a short time it can have a big impactZ

Don't beat yourself up. Covid has been hard on everyone but for you with everything foreign it must have been real tough. I watched your other videos and you renewed my faith in the youth of America. Every thing you experienced is the same as most of us and many cannot cope with covid life and they don't have the obstacles that you had. My daughter went to Chile on a Fulbright scholarship and she was fluent in Spanish and she had to come home because people could no cope with the different country. I hosted 2 Japanese girls twice and they had problems dealing with the language but they had a good support system to help them.

As I suffered from depressions myself I agree with you that it is hard to get appointments with therapists or other doctor when you have psychological problems. This video is now online for over half a year, but in case you read this comment anyway... get what you need where ever you can get it... Do whatever helps your mental health so that your life can go on in a way that makes you happy. You are around half my age and have your life ahead of you... many years... many chances...

@carolineruby

2 жыл бұрын

I am now getting therapy and it has helped me so much! I wish the same for you🫶🏼

First of all, I think your AWESOME and admire your courage of taking part in such a program in the first place! I respect your decision and can relate. Moreover, I am convinced that the exchange program wasnt about the location (i.e. Germany) but rather about the language itself. In further persuing the German language, there shouldnt be any talk of quitting. Additionally, there should be no doubt, that health has the first priority in life. As health is not everything, but without health, everything is nothing.

You CAN get a therapist pretty quickly in Germany. Just not paid by public health insurance. The public health insurance companies don't calculate for enough therapists. That is a massive problem but honestly, I am still glad I don't have my mental health issues in the US. I feel as if there is much more stigma, even in the laws.

I think you've made the right decision, Caroline! And although I can understand your feelings of regret, please, don't beat yourself up! It would have done nothing good to stay in Germany only because you once decided to do it. It's impossible to anticipate all that might come along, especially in a pandemic. As I mentioned under your other video, you handled this very good, given the circumstances. You're self-reflected and mature. Personally, I probably would have gone back home much earlier. All the best! 🙂 Michael

I also did an exchange in Germany, back in 2007. I only had one family during the whole year. There were days where I wanted to go back to Mexico, there were times where I cried but I decided to stay. I know the feeling and be glad you made the right decision 😊

You did absolutely nothing wrong, mental health is so so important. I wish you speedy recovery 💞