The worst part is that, it doesn’t matter how funny and friendly you are. At some point you’ll realise that you’re not included and then you stop trying to fit in.

@jannessabaptista8782

7 ай бұрын

Yesss

@randaltichy6570

6 ай бұрын

So... like in my home country?

@nitirajdaby2554

5 ай бұрын

You nailed it !!!!!! So true !!!!!

@nitirajdaby2554

5 ай бұрын

And then they blame you for not putting in the necessary effort to integrate the country !!!!

@marie-eve8863

5 ай бұрын

Jepsss

I think that's a really important topic to talk about. I've studied abroad twice in the US in college and here are some tipps for anyone reading this if you struggle with belonging: - Most international students I know don't meet friends in their classes. At best you meet acquaintances but if you want to connect with local students you need to consider extracurriculars - Volunteer at a local place. Even if you don't speak the language perfectly you could volunteer to work with animals or refugees or any other place. You'll meet people who are engaged and usually outgoing and friendly - get a part-time job if your visa allows. Not only will that get you some money but co-workers can become friends. - Take a language class, they are usually offered by schools or universities and you can improve your skills and meet people who are going through the same struggle. Also use language apps like Mango to study at home. - learn an instrument - ask your school to connect you with other international students. Most likely you aren't the only one - mediate on your feelings. Recognize that your experiences, both good or bad are temporary and you will meet your friends and family again

@vidyavasavan4661

Жыл бұрын

i loved the last part..as im really missing my home country n my friends n family and feel miserable right now in an international university,

@unknownwarrior5672

Жыл бұрын

​@@vidyavasavan4661where are you studying?

@vidyavasavan4661

Жыл бұрын

@@unknownwarrior5672 NZ

The former exchange student in me says: Yes! I can totally relate to all those feelings! (And your German is waaaayyyy better than mine was back then!) And, strange as it might seem, you'll look back after your year is over and you will hardly remember the low points. The German teacher in me says: You are doing an amazing job, and it will get better, and it will all be worth it. Reach out if you need/ want resources or support. The mom in me just wants to give you a mug of cocoa and a hug.

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

Good video. But I disagree with the ''no reason to study here''. If you study and try your best, you strengthen the neural networks in your brain to think like a champion and be a champion. It's not about the goal but the system. It's not about the goal, but becoming the person who can achieve the goal. There is truth in the saying ''how you do one thing, is how you do everything''.

@thenamewhowillknockksidown7333

Жыл бұрын

Das ist Sehr gut.

Hi. I'm 74 and can totally relate to what you're experiencing and expressing in this video because I was once an exchange student at your age in a very rural part of northern Costa Rica, way back in 1964. Unlike you, I could speak the local language fluently then, so my culture shock wasn't quite like yours, but I still experienced much of the same odd disconnect you are describing. I post here because I want to encourage you to fully embrace and absorb everything that's going around you-good, bad, boring, different, fun, etc. because this wonderful experience is shaping your life going forward in ways that you cannot possibly imagine right now. I really admire your candor and self-reflection, and your appreciation of family. All of it will serve you well in the future. One day, you will look back at your FB posts with fondness and appreciation of the memories and experiences you are recording. I wish I could have done so, but back then the sweet little family who welcomed me into their home had no car, telephone or postal service. Bottom line: my high school exchange student experience totally shaped my future-one that has been exciting, rewarding and gratifying in countless ways. So, hang in there, go with the flow-and fully enjoy your time in Germany! When you're 74, you'll understand why. 🙂

@aexeah

Жыл бұрын

Omg I cannot put into words how much your advice really help me feel better. I hate the fact that I need to be away from my family but at the same time I know one day I'll look back in those memories and be thankful for making me a better person, just like what u have said. I hope things gonna get better soon. Thanks!!

@d1a1l1e

2 күн бұрын

omg costa rica in the 1960s must've been so different and interesting!! thank you for your insight

@jameslewis9393

2 күн бұрын

@@aexeah Thank you and best wishes going forward.

@jameslewis9393

2 күн бұрын

@@d1a1l1e De nada!

1. Even without the current Covid situation, this time of year is a time of traditions. Experiencing it do differently might add to your homesickness. 2. Your experience of being boring: we Germans are different. Smalltalk isn‘t in our genes, so in school most will stick to their close group of friends. 3. If you watch streamend stuff: watch the dubbed version with English subtitles (I learned Dutch that way 😉) 4. Read. Read. Read. In those boring classes read books you really like in German translation. 5. Swimming: Frankfurt has quite a number of swimming clubs (Schwimmvereine). And if you live in place that has a public pool there might be also a Schwimmverein which you could join. And if there isn’t, train on your own for a while. Have a good pre-Christmas time and Christmas and (hopefully) enjoy the different traditions that we have.

@FP_MiB_Racing

2 жыл бұрын

good advice but I would suggest German subtitles with the German audio - seeing it spelt while hearing the sound is very effective even though you might not understand everything - those things you could look up. Or even better: you mix the methods, switch it up every once in a while, you know

@hrabi8209

2 жыл бұрын

@@FP_MiB_Racing Maybe use Chrome extension to have both subtitles. I'm learning Swedish that way

@FP_MiB_Racing

2 жыл бұрын

@@hrabi8209 Oh thanks, that's something I did not know was even a thing! :)

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

Good video. But I disagree with the ''no reason to study here''. If you study and try your best, you strengthen the neural networks in your brain to think like a champion and be a champion. It's not about the goal but the system. It's not about the goal, but becoming the person who can achieve the goal. There is truth in the saying ''how you do one thing, is how you do everything''.

It's so interesting that I feel the exact same way in so many things that you. I'm from Germany and I'm doing my exchange year in the US right now. It's really frustrating to see how others just live the exchange student dream and adjusting so easy. For me it's so hard finding (good)friends and I often feel alone. Your video helped me a lot and showed me that I'm not alone with my feeling. Thank you so much for that ❤

@johannkuster79

2 жыл бұрын

it got better?

@chouchoubebe875

Жыл бұрын

it got bette?

Caroline I’m so proud of your honesty. thank you for sharing this with everyone, I think we are all definitely feeling this in some type of way so to see it being shared between all of the happy memories is extremely relieving. Love you so much

Im 16 as well, and tonight is my first exchange night and I was already struggling hardly. This helped me calm down to sleep, thank you so incredibly much for bringing this to light❤️❤️

@esther_6

2 жыл бұрын

I hope ur doing well! I'm going on exchange next year and I'm so nervous and excited

@LuckyLuca28

Жыл бұрын

@@esther_6 are you already on your exchange? If yes, how is it going?

@esther_6

Жыл бұрын

@@LuckyLuca28 I’m leaving on feb 11 but I have the best exchange student ever staying with me rn. I’ll be with her when I go to Germany and I’m excited.

@LuckyLuca28

Жыл бұрын

@@esther_6 oh that is so exciting!! I wish you good luck! I’m currently on an exchange year in Finland (I’m from Berlin, Germany) and this has been the best experience of my life so far!! So I really hope your time is going to be just as amazing as mine! :)

@briannalikesbooks

Жыл бұрын

@@esther_6 that’s tomorrow… good luck I hope it goes well for you!!!

Just do what you're doing. Figuring out who you are and who you want to be. I know it's hard but you will profit from it for the rest of your life. Part of becoming an adult is to find out what makes you happy. I'm not sure but it sounds like you always do what is expected from you, what society or family think it's good for you. I was that way so maybe I'm only projecting. Good grades, cute, very polite, always funny and helping others, always people pleasing, never upsetting. I luckily spent 6 months in Italy when I was 18. It was hard - I felt like you feel now - but I came back stronger. I'm almost 50 now and I live an unconventional life doing what makes me happy not what other people think would make me happy. I learned how to figure out what I really want and who I really am during my time abroad. And I learned that I have to do this constantly because I change.

random thoughts from someone once been in a similar: if you try to fit in, conversations are rarely deep. that makes it hard to make friends. But I think making some new close friend is better than being 'a star' with lots of people liking you. for activity, a lot of people recommend to enjoy biking culture in germany, it's even when real 'lockdown' kicks in, this will be possible. For the food, dont be shy to ask for an experts help!! the situation is hard for you but the situation will get better. just make the most of it and keep doing things as long as you can. bye

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

Good video. But I disagree with the ''no reason to study here''. If you study and try your best, you strengthen the neural networks in your brain to think like a champion and be a champion. It's not about the goal but the system. It's not about the goal, but becoming the person who can achieve the goal. There is truth in the saying ''how you do one thing, is how you do everything''.

I am in the same exact situation as you were. I'm in Portugal right now, and at first it was incredible, exciting and fun. Now that I've settled in, I'm falling into the same thing as you- lacking motivation for classes, binge eating, loneliness and homesickness. I'm struggling to enjoy this experience even though I know I should be so grateful for it. I'm having trouble even getting myself to leave my apartment because I just don't have to.

I don't think "bored of you" is the right phrase. It's more like you started as the exotic person from elsewhere on the planet and now you are a normal part of their lives and they see you every day at school. I think all language barrier issues will diminish over time. Think about how far you've come in just 4 months of learning German - and then think about how much your language skills will improve over the next months and where you'll be at the end of the exchange. Home sickness is always an issue especially around christmas. Have you considered joining a sports club? Even though there's no school sports there's a lot of sports clubs - that's just how it is in Germany. I'm sure there's a sports club in your town that you can join. Yes, Covid may restrict some activities but there should still be options.

@zanderalex2463

2 жыл бұрын

Yes, the afternoons and evenings are for hobbies (swimming clubs), homework and meeting friends. Here in Hamburg, we have all-day schools pretty much everywhere, so it's more difficult with the clubs. So you (Caroline) have good conditions to do sports and meet people with the same interests.

Im on my Exchange in Germany and just came 1 week ago and I’m already feeling very homesick and have been since I came. I didn’t know it would be this hard especially on the first days. I just wanna come home but at the same time I know I can do this. But it will take time and these kind of videos help me. Thank you ❤️

@melissaatkinson202

11 ай бұрын

ive been in japan for 2 days, i want to go home as well but we are going to get through this!

@orhildurhelga5525

11 ай бұрын

@@melissaatkinson202 We can do this! In 3 months we will get used to living. And have our own routine! And thats gonna be fun! Good luck in Japan, its going to be great!

I understand your plight, having been on exchange in Germany (albeit as an adult). It’s hard to meet German friends. Their friend groups develop over years, often decades. You might consider language exchange-meeting with people who need to improve their English (they could be students or professionals), helping them, and then having them try to help you with your German. The approach is generally through conversation but you can do written exercises as well. You can meet in person or via video chat. I have a German friend here who is having some similar struggles. Hang there. Next semester will fly by and your spirits will improve as the weather gets better. For exercise, try running outside or cycling. I cycled a lot in Germany and it did wonders for my morale. Germany has wonderful cycle routes.

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

Good video. But I disagree with the ''no reason to study here''. If you study and try your best, you strengthen the neural networks in your brain to think like a champion and be a champion. It's not about the goal but the system. It's not about the goal, but becoming the person who can achieve the goal. There is truth in the saying ''how you do one thing, is how you do everything''.

Also, If I had seen this video before my exchange it definitely would not have deterred me and probably would have made me feel a bit more comfortable knowing that things can go wrong but the world will still turn and there are no perfect expectations to live up to for my year. So thanks for sharing with all of the future CBYXers

@carolineruby

2 жыл бұрын

You’re amazing ash thank you for that :) I was debating on posting this because I was scared it was too negative but that makes me feel a lot better

I am getting ready to leave to study abroad in Spain this spring and this is the first video I’ve seen that actually talks about the hard stuff. I really appreciate your honesty and vulnerability!

@wellknown1204

2 жыл бұрын

Hi Grace, that's gonna be great thing for you, and I wish you the best of luck with your spring semester abroad in Spain. Pro tips to make friend: be friends another International students there cause they also look for friends since local students sometimes are not so much needed new friends like fellow International students. Good luck there

@kate7152

10 ай бұрын

how did it go?

This was such an honest insight into the reality of a year abroad as an exchange student. Keep on persevering and trying to find activities you like!

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

Good video. But I disagree with the ''no reason to study here''. If you study and try your best, you strengthen the neural networks in your brain to think like a champion and be a champion. It's not about the goal but the system. It's not about the goal, but becoming the person who can achieve the goal. There is truth in the saying ''how you do one thing, is how you do everything''.

Honesty is generosity because transparency for sharing your experiences can make other people live similar paths more smoothly and meaningfuly. Very insigthful and realistic, sth mostly missing on social media👏🏻

thank you so much for making this video, I just began my study abroad in paris only a couple days ago and I have already begun to feel many of the emotions you talked about in the video. Hopefully things change and I begin to adjust well… but for now, watching this has comforted me and brought me some much needed peace knowing that I am not actually alone . So many videos and people make you think you should be having the time of your life when in reality, transitions and new countries can be extremely difficult. Thank you for keeping it real!! Hope you are doing better!

@wellknown1204

2 жыл бұрын

Hi, I wish you best of luck in Paris. I couldn't imagine how brave of you guys so young as of high school aged to do exchange programs alone. Sheezz, I did my exchange program when I was in high school, but I was with about of 20 classmates from the same home room class with me. Therefore, I did not feel lonely, alone, and struggling to adjust or hard to make friends because I have my own friends with me there. I couldn't imagine do it alone with limited language skill, shezz.. you guys are brave honestly.

Thank you for sharing. I am from Iran and it’s been a year I’ve moved to England. Everything you said was accurate and true. My homesickness took about 10 months to appear. Now I quit and lost interest of the things I was doing back home. I would practice classical guitar minimum 4 hrs, now it’s been four months I haven’t touch the guitar. This experience made me to scare and be afraid of other decisions and meeting other people. Changed me to another person, I tried so hard to find myself or at least find a solution to my “depression”, not found anything yet. I travelled back home for four days and I couldn’t resist there neither, when I was there I was overthinking about my home, my bf, my stuff here in England; so I got a ticket back England. I assume I lost my life back in Iran, and the life I have now in England is really hard to continue. What can I say. We are all alone at some point. Hope you are well my friends. Love from Pardis.

@-t9214

Жыл бұрын

how are you doing now!

@safeiasroor9435

Жыл бұрын

Hi Pardis, I just wanna say I went through pretty much the same things as you. I used to paint, but since I came to the US I stopped doing so, so I lost my interest, but now, after reading what you wrote, I understand that it’s a normal situation. It’s not my fault. Feeling lost is really frustrating.

Im an American and moved to Germany 5 years ago for studies, and I know your struggle all too well. I felt ashamed that I couldn't speak German, so when I would speak German, it was broken and when I would speak English, you could feel that I had a hint of shame that I wasn't able to express myself in German. This self-shame lead to me feeling completely unknown because I would not give myself permission to be fully me. It wasn't until I gave myself permission to speak English and not feel ashamed until I was able to show my true colors and make friends. Once people saw who I actually was, when I would try to speak German with them, they would be more patient because they knew the real me because I already showed who I am in English. It is normal to feel like a completely different person when you speak another language. It happens to everyone until their language proficiency is strong enough which takes a while (I still need to switch to English if I need to externally process something). My suggestion in a nutshell: Make friends by speaking in English to show who you are, and then practice your German with them - this way you work on your German, but are able to feel seen. It also increases your acquaintance's patients with you since they are able to see who you actually are first, and they have a better context for you trying to work on your beginner level German with them.. Also, find something you're interested in and participate in that and then repeat the first step of showing yourself in the English language and then transition to German.

She is back home ♥️ I think that was for yourself a good choice. It is your health and with all the unknown (lockdown etc.) I think it was good to fly home. I hope we see you here again with Videos from home 🥰

Well done you for sharing that. Homesickness is tough, but remember you will be going back to the US next year. The main thing is to remain open to this marvellous experience and get the most from it, despite current circumstances. Immerse yourself in the language - I am sure you will see your fluency dramatically improve early next year. Boredom: Get a pushbike and explore the local area and exercise at the same time (wrap up well this time of year). Visit the local towns (Speyer, Worms, Bad Dürkeim, etc.). Just go to each town on the local transport and explore on foot. Covid: Don’t panic - you are in one of the best governed countries in the world. Read the local newspaper. Create a website and document your visits there, write a book, write a survivor’s guide for the next exchange students, offer online consultancy to these students, etc. So much to do 😊.

Thanks for being so open and honest! I know exactly how you feel, and the things you went through - I am from the states and had a very similar experience in a country where it's even tougher than Germany... Switzerland! It was such an alien experience, society is even more closed, the language(s) even harder to learn (they don't speak "German" but numerous incomprehensible German dialects in addition to French and Italian). Unlike you I moved here for a job (finished University in America first). Multiple periods of extreme highs and lows. Long story short, I have now been living here for 35 years, and am a Swiss citizen. Looking back I am glad I did it and finally adjusted to the culture, but it wasn't easy. Now that I understand the Swiss mindset and can speak the language to a reasonable degree, the upsides outweigh the negatives - especially now that people here with excellent English skills and good technical background are hard to find. Nothing worth having is easy to get.

Hey Caroline, it is really impressive that you deal so open and honest with your feelings and experiences here. It is hard to watch your motivation fading. But it is absolutely understandable. An exchange program is always a big thing, not easy to manage. And within this COVID-19-pandemic it is even more complicated. Most people hate the restrictions, most pupils are struggling with the mandatory mask wearing. You are getting the combined negative effects of both things. Even now, getting closer to christmas, it must be hard to miss your family. But you are really strong. If you are looking for a kind of thing to do in your freetime, why don't you try to help german pupils with the english classes and homework for example? There are learning studios here in Germany, maybe this could be something for you? Attending a gym is a really good idea. Many people have the weight problems, especially during COVID-19, me too. I can give you only one advice: Act in a way that makes you feel good! You should be the most important person in that program from your perspective. I know you have good chances to finish the exchange regularly, as we can see you German improving and so on. BUT if the moment comes when you say you won't be able to handle this anymore, in that case you should stop. Without being ashamed, because there is no reason to feel ashamed. Try to enjoy the christmas time here in Germany and watch what it does with you. I cross my fingers for you, and I am quite sure you will get through this. Additionaly, you have 13.000 followers here, all of them supporting you, so you are not alone. I wish you really all the best! :)

@ItsameAlex

2 жыл бұрын

Good video. But I disagree with the ''no reason to study here''. If you study and try your best, you strengthen the neural networks in your brain to think like a champion and be a champion. It's not about the goal but the system. It's not about the goal, but becoming the person who can achieve the goal. There is truth in the saying ''how you do one thing, is how you do everything''.

Regarding activities: Many cities have something called "Jugendzentrum" or similiar, where you can meet other teens and do a variety of activities (sports, parties, music, arts, crafts, cooking, social activities or just chilling and meeting new friends). Maybe that is worth checking into. At the Jugendzentrum there will always be a professional social worker, who not only supports with the activities but also acts as a counselor, if you need help or just want to talk to someone. The availability of a "Jugendzentrum" depends a bit on your area. If you are living in a more remote part of germany, it is worth checking if there are any youth activities from "Feuerwehr", evironmental groups or church. Definitly there will be a sports club of some sort. Soccer is more or less guaranteed, but depending on your area there may be other sports teams available. Unfortunatly swimming is a bit problematic as you have already experienced. Due to cost Germany closed down a lot of swim halls after reunification. :-(

It's crazy how much I can relate to this video. I have been on exchange in Germany for 3 months now. And I can relate to almost everything you talked about in this video. I have a really hard time opening up to people here since I don't really have any actual friends in Germany. Sure my host family and some of my class mates have been really nice, and I appreciate that, but I still feel so left out in school and in my host family. Also having so much free time is really hard sometimes. I feel like I should be using my free time to study German but at the same time I have no energy or motivation for extra studying. But thank you for this video. It definitely made me feel a bit better, knowing that I'm not the only one feeling/who felt like this on exchange. Because to be honest going back home has started to come up into my thoughts more and more recently.

@cammie3467

Жыл бұрын

😊 12:07

No! People who aren't patient with you in conversations and like you said "get bored" aren't those who's side you should seek. Focus on those few people around you that support you and make you feel comfortable! ❤️

I am continually impressed by the way you deal with your situation. The best thing to do is to speak open about it as you did with this video. It will give people a lot and get back to you for sure. Being in an exchange program during a global pandemic! It is a lot! And would be for everybody no matter where from or what age. Not only that you can't live your daily routine you're used to which changes your body and mental state. The circumstances around you are also unsure and ever changing. Unfortunately this time for you there can't be a normal exchange. It is what it is - a real challenge. If things are sometimes too much and you're just sick and tired of the german language and the culture and you just wanna talk normal and be with beloved people - this is totally OK and normal. Take your time, stay true to your feelings and let them be. But also keep on reaching out and tell what's on your mind to as many people as possible. You will find the best solutions together. Try to figure out the basic needs you would need to feel better. This is a journey and every experience good or bad is part of it and equally worthy. Don't ever think you are the only one to feel this way. We are all in this together and the same in so many ways ❤️❤️ Keep it up! I believe you will master this wonderfully!

Hey Caroline, I'm a Canadian working in Germany. I just got here in the fall as well; I found your channel when I was searching for expat stuff. I appreciate your impressions, and I wanted to let you know that I am feeling a lot of the same sorts of things, even though I am in my 30's and working, as opposed to being in school. You're brave for taking on the adventure, and you are right - it isn't all roses, but these are experiences we will grow from. The season is hard - I miss friends and family too, and it is soooo dark. I miss snow. snow is better than rain; even though it is cold, it is more often sunny, and what light there is reflects off the snow. Grey skies, rain, fog everyday... this is the worst! Covid.. F-ing covid... it makes everything harder, and I keep hoping that one day we will just wake up from this bad dream. Everything is more difficult, and people are on-edge. I had to show my cov-pass when I went into a hardware store to get some things to hang my pictures up. The worst was when I got yelled at for taking my mask down to smell some cleaning products in a store one day. No one else was even in the aisle with me, and if someone else minutes or hours later is gonna catch covid from the bottle of Miester Proper I sniffed, God help us all... Hang in there sister, keep your stick on the ice, I'm pullin' for ya. - Canadian in NRW

@june9775

Жыл бұрын

How are you now S.A? A year later? Did things get better?

@SL1nce

Жыл бұрын

@June wow, who reads and replies to old comments? Cool to have a question going back to this time. It seems it has been almost a lifetime between then and now. The 2nd winter here was slightly less rainy, but just as grey. I went home to Canada over christmas to visit my mother and sisters and their families. Spring is in full swing here: tulips, magnolias, daffodills. I am actually working on my own garden this year and have planted many flowers - which I regretfully did not do last year. I have gotten to know some of my neighbours very well. I found a girlfriend but had to end it because expectations and needs were not aligned. Breakups always suck, but at least on my end, no bad blood or ill-will. It is definitely better, but I still miss home. Though I am learning and getting better, the language barrier makes things more difficult. Deutsch ist ein schwierig Sprache, und mit Niederländisch habbe ich keine Ahnung... Oh yeah, and since that comment, the Russian invasion of Ukraine.... Yeah, life crazy and unpredicrable. Smiles on and one foot forward. Try to remember to be grateful for good health and all the other blessings we may have. Thanks for asking. I hope you are well too.

@june9775

Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for replying. It’s my 5th month abroad. I moved to Spain for work and I am really struggling 😢 thank you for the encouragement! I know it will get better for sure.

I agree, it felt really sad, speacially i was transferred on a different school because we moved on a new country and i was transferred in the middle of the schoolyear where they all form friends and knew each other and then suddenly i pop up. I didnt knew anything about their language and it really scares me. I felt low and much more is the exams on my new school are very different and hard compared by my old school. I was always on the bottom it felt horrible. I always cant wait to go home. I agree with the language barrier, I was to scared to have friends and keep a conversation, so yes they got bored of me. Thankkk you for this videoo it comforts me , knowing im not alone :)

I'm in the Netherlands for 2 months as an internship. Now we are on Holidays, my friends are not here i have a lot of free time... 5 min ago I was crying and I decided to watch your video. Thank you!!!

Dear Caroline, I am a exchange student in Austria from the UK, I am not as old as you, however I have been through the same things as you, and I know that there is nothing that I can say to relate to you, but don’t let anyone ever tell you that you are not good enough, make fun of you, and don’t forget that your family loves you, what I used to do, is to try and completely hide the fact that I missed my family and just distract myself completely, this is the worst thing you can do, call then whenever you feel like it, share your feelings, don’t be afraid to live your life in Germany or shy away from anything as I once did, that won’t get you anywhere in life! Love from Salzburg 👍🏽😘

You sharing the reality of the whole experience and sharing your feelings with us so honestly is not a thing that discourages me to make such a decision, in fact, it's the "Omg look how much fun I'm having" kind of posts that really get to me because I never know whether that's just on the surface or not. you telling us all those feelings puts us directly face-to-face with what we should really be taking into account before jumping abroad. Thank you so much

Hi, thank you for this very personal video, it was very brave from you to do it. I think it will help also other people because what you are currently experiencing is not only limited to students exchange but also when you move to another country for work, going to university... If I may give you a small advise : don't be too hard with yourself. It was a strong decision from you to go abroad and you should be proud of yourself and ...you are making it! You are in Germany not that long ago, without knowing the language, and from what I have seen in your previous videos, your german is excellent and this in a very little time! and you can already use the DBahn :-))) Another think you can be proud of : in your video, you were able to identify and analyse what is not going that well(not everybody is able to do it), but it was not completely negative, it was very balanced...which shows a certain level of maturity So, take it easy, things will improve faster than you think, I'm 100% convinced! :-) Indeed, it's a strange period, covid, xmas and new-year (personally I don't like this period of the year) but you will see, in three weeks, and it's very subjective of course, but with the start of the new year, there will be a "reset" like and everybody's mood will be more positive. And a last advise : play angry birds :-)) , it calms me down(empty my mind I should say) :-))) Stay positive, tomorrow is another day! Cedric from Belgium

Try learning 1-2 hours of german every day, that could easily take up a lot of time! also try working on more video ideas and videos, try going out to the city you live in etc etc.. other than that keep it going Caroline, you're doing amazing, don't give up!!

omg, THANK YOU, thank you so much! I totally relate to all you said...I'm really grateful for your sharing. This is making me feel a little less lonely 💕

@carolineruby

Жыл бұрын

of course💕💕💕

Caroline - as someone who has struggled with emotional turmoil and its physical consequences, I can not sufficiently express in words how much I admire your honesty. If I may try to give some points to ponder: trying to make new versions of yourself, trying to be someone who fits what others want you to be, and getting your self-worth from grades are all based on external validation. The struggle to figure out who you are and want to be is a typical teenager struggle. Many adults do not want to be a teenager again, because of the agony of figuring that out. (As an experiment: ask your host-family if they would like to go back to being a teenager, and why they would/would not want to) When you are struggling with school, may I suggest getting validation not from grades, but from knowledge? That will help you once you are back in the US, no matter what grades you get. Math and sciences are universal. So learn not for the grades, but for the improvement of your understanding of the world, which you can only measure yourself. Then again, I remember that school classes could be boring even if the subject was interesting, as school classes usually progress so slowly compared to University classes. On the subject of fewer people engaging you in conversation: do not think you are not worthy. Find those that have patience and really care about you. Most US Teen movies tell us to be popular. Maybe see it as part of the exchange to experience a different lifestyle. It is not about rejecting those that are different or have no intetest in you, it is about embracing those that seek multual acceptance and friendship. Hope any of this makes sense.

Hey actually i felt the same before one month or something. Because I went to France and it was exact the same thing the people weren't interested in me anymore I had a lot of homesickness and there were also week for me where I cried every single day. I didn't want to go to school because I was scared of crying I was scared of people and I also didn't really know what to do with my free time. Finally I stayed but my exchange we just for 4 month so it went quiet well in the end. And I'm now really not so motivated to do another exchange anytime. Cause it's been really hard. I hope u'll stay though cause if you cancel the exchange you'll feel sad that you didn't stay. So just try to stay because this is just a feeling and feelings are moving and you will not stay for ur hole life take the chance and stay as long as you can

Caroline - I am German and I made the same experiences than you - I´ve been to an english speaking country and I did not understand a word in school. It was hard. But looking back I have to say, that this was the most exiting time in my life. You learn to see things from a different perspective and I´m sure, that later you will understand why you had to to that. It will make your grow as a person- and I think you already did!

hey, as an exchange student in Germany through CBYX this year I can relate to so much of what you were talking about. Recently I've been having a super hard time with my mental health and just general anxiety. Only yesterday did I come to the conclusion that I really need to talk to and be open about these issues with my host family. I kept thinking I would get over it, or that my issues would just go away, or that they weren't a big deal. But i've had more than one breakdown too many to think that any more. Thanks for making this video, it made me feel less alone. Also the language barrier has been really hard for me these past months. On one hand I want to be constantly speaking Germany because thats the reason I came here in the first place. On the other hand I want to have meaningful conversations with my friends, something that is really hard when I can't speak German well. I'm at a similar A2/B1 and I feel like I've hit a language wall at this point and idk what to do. If anyone has any suggestions for continuing to learn more without sacrificing my mental health that would be great .

@larsw.3240

2 жыл бұрын

As a former German exchange student in the US I would just recommend: Try to immerse yourself into the language, don't be afraid to make mistakes when you talk to native speakers - they will understand. The next big step primarily is due to practicing and can't be achieved by studying alone. I thing the biggest hurdle for improving your foreign language skills nowadays is, that the ubiquity of modern modes of communication lures us back to switch to our native language far too often. Try to stick to German also in your personal free time whitout putting pressure on yourself. You will notice distinct improvements over time, when you try to omit your native language as much as possible.

I'm going to study abroad after this current school year ends. Only 2 months away from leaving everything from my homecountry behind. I'm already expecting these to happen and I don't know what to say or feel. A fresh new start in a place where nobody knows you is great. But still, I'm really gonna miss my family and friends.

@unknownwarrior5672

Жыл бұрын

How did it go?

Hey Caroline! Thank you so much for your honest video. I’m currently in Spain, an exchange student from Germany and I can definitely relate to you. Just wanted to let you know you’re not alone and we’re all going to the same difficulties even though one persons speak more about it and ones less. I really hope for all of us Covid isn’t going to affect us so badly, but we’re all in the same boat. I wish you the best!🤍

Thank you so much for your honesty. I think anybody going on exchange should watch this video beforehand, so they can have realistic expectations. I agree that nobody tells you this and I hate that. I wish I could've watched this video before going on my exchange year, so I knew I wasn't the only one feeling this way. But looking back I almost can't remember what it felt like because the good outshines the bad. You are so brave for going on exchange and sharing. As a northern european I can imagine it must've been hard moving here all alone. I think we have a lot to learn from Americans when it comes to being nice to strangers and meeting new people.

When I was in Peru on an exchange program every German got a Peruvian tandem partner who learned German. Your partner would show you around, go on a short day trip with you or you would eat something together, cook, … Every half an hour or so would switch the language so every one was in their mother tongue for some time where it was easier to be yourself and the other one was “struggling” with the foreign language. That helped a lot to understand the person from the other country. Maybe somebody from your school would like to practice English with you and you can practice your German while doing something together. And another thought: it’s quite popular in Germany to go on a walk or go hiking (possible even during lockdown). Being in a forest or under some trees will reduce stress level and you do something for your body and soul. And you can explore your area. Just search for some nice hiking paths. There are some Apps, for example “outdoor active” or “Komoot” where there are a lot of trails. And don’t stay inside because the weather is not perfect. Es gibt kein schlechtes Wetter, es gibt nur schlechte Kleidung! 😉

I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND YOU. When I went to Ireland for a FULL YEAR I felt sad, a misfit, ... I had to really try hard to smile and think positively, to make friends and I was VERY HOMESICK. What made me feel better was to sneak out from my house an take long walks through the nearby forest, pet animals (cause i felt like they did understand me and always loved me), i drew a lot of stupid thinga hahaha, i read, i even started writing, i talked to myself AND i REACHED OUT to people (really DO this one, for example: if you are feeling bad, just SAY IT "you now what?, i honestly feel shit" and then LAUGH cause it's stupid, you really were BURTING INTO LAUGHER months ago when your friend ate a bee, life is stupid, so laugh at it and at the seriousness you life it with hahahaha). Other things i did that felt good in the moment but increased my depression afterwards: watch youtube videos, inmerse myself in a really long netflix series, sleep, stare at the ceiling waiting for time to pass and get home, etc. But i don't advise you to do that at all, cause then, when it stopped, i hated even more everything around me and just wanted to really be anywhere else. - Basically, I advise you not to escape, but to actually try to see the good in something, even if it just is liking the red color of a flower, stay conscious, remember that you are just staying there for a short time and then you will be back with your people, so ask yourself: what would i do if it was my last day? and do it. It really doesn't matter if it get's worse, cause you are already feeling bad. DO IT. (that was maaaaaany years ago, but if i came back i would have just not cared about possibly "failing" or about what the others thought of me, causa RIGHT NOW: i literally have NO contact with any of them! and! i mainly remember either the events i lifed as awfull or the ones were I REALLY WAS MYSELF AND STOPPED CARING)

This time of the year is tuff for visitors to Germany. I did my exchange before there was Skype/Facetime/etc and only heard from my family every 4-6 weeks. Now if you want to see your family you can just give them a call! You homesickness/depression is also not helped by the weather and covid, but it is normal and you’ll get over it. I can really relate to your understanding what is being said, but not being able to contribute. Also “normal” but will be get better soon. Try reading “Die Zeit” marking words you don’t know and look them up later (when you’ve finished the article. The Covid situation is peaking and will go back down again. I don’t think things will shut down like last year.

Keep your head up kid! You're doing great and you'll get through this. Always darkest right before the dawn.

I just want to say that going on an exchange year on your own at your age is very VERY brave! It's something I could never have done when I was that young. Tbh even now the thought of going abroad for a prolonged period of time all alone makes me feel rather uncomfortable. So kudos to you for even doing that! :-) But there's more: I find you to be a very composed, analytical, self-reflected person. Again, something I was light years away from when I was your age. I think, given all the difficulties you have to deal with, you're coping extremely well. And who wouldn't cry in that situation? It's only natural. In terms if finding friends: unfortunately (for you) we Germans, myself included, aren't quick to make friends. It takes a while but that doesn't mean that we're not interested. And if you win a German as a friend, it's usually a friend for a lifetime. Ok, that doesn't help you much now, only, hopefully, in that you should know that it's probably not your fault. I DID, however, notice one thing that might be hindering: you said that you always try to be the person the others might want you to be. Having spent some time on this planet let me give you the (most friendly and heartfelt) advice: don't do that. Be yourself. If you try to be everybody's darling you're in danger of coming across as superficial and fake and that's something we don't like much. I hope this isn't too much German bluntness, I really do mean to help you! :-) I think you have much to give and much to say and you're not boring at all! If I may ask you this: do you let the others see you cry? Do they know how you feel? In my experience most people are rather compassionate and if they see someone is hurting they want to help. Also, when you're sad and maybe cry that's a real, a genuine feeling, it makes you more real or tangible as a person. Have you talked to any of your German classmates about your struggles? You mentioned the language barrier but maybe one or two are good enough at English? Let me say again that, given the circumstances and difficulties, you're doing a very good job! I hope you can appreciate that about yourself. :-)) I wish you all the best! Michael

@wellknown1204

2 жыл бұрын

I agree with you, she is extremely brave to go to foreign country which are not English speaking country as well to do exchange program ALONE. I understand her struggle to certain extent since I did high school exchange program to foreign country when my English was broken as fuck🥴(level A1 English), but I was lucky that I went there with 20 of my friends from the same classroom as me back home. We were like big family took care of each other in foreign country, and I did not feel lonely at all and did not bother to seek the friendship from local kids in my high school there since I have 20 of my friends that we can Communicate in our native language and understand each other needs. It was the most adventurous and fun time of my life, not gonna lie. If I have to do my high school exchange year without 20 of my friends from back home, and in her position to do it ALL ALONE, I wouldn't think that I would go anyway. She is a brave girl, please put your mental health first and take care of yourself

I watched this video right now feeling homesick and cried. Also in Germany, and miss my family so much.🥹

I can relate to the homesickness, which was bad during holiday season in my own exchange year (in the US) as well. It'll pass is what I can tell you. About motivation: this is really new for you and it's a massive life lesson. For the first time in all of your school years you are in a non-competitive situation. No sports, no grades, nobody really compares. A lot of adult life is like that. Nobody will give you a prize for doing your daily chores, getting the kids ready for school, going to work and so on. There will be incentives like the next step on the career ladder while you're young. But that stops over time. And, unless you make your children's lifes into your own competition (which many parents do, sadly), there will be a long stretch in life where nothing particularly rewarding goes on. Learning to pick yourself up and do stuff because _you_ want to do it will become really important during that phase later in your life. You either set goals for yourself (which doesn't always work) or you figure out how to just enjoy yourself even while you are doing hard things. So, don't give up. What's happening now isn't wrong. It's a challenge to define your own reasons for doing stuff. If you really want to find a team/club: The pandemic makes it extra hard, because many clubs simply don't meet at the moment. But they do exist. Ask your peers in your class if they're in a club. Maybe you can try something new meanwhile. It doesn't have to be swimming or track&field.

Hi Caroline: I've read all of the advice you've gotten since you posted this vid. All of it seems very good. I don't know if I can add much without repeating what others have already said to you. Homesickness is certainly no fun at all, but it is very normal - even in non-covid times and even when it's not the holidays. (When I lived in Germany I was an adult and I had several bouts of homesickness.) Follow the very sage advice from the others and you'll undoubtedly "muscle through" this (unpleasant, but very typical) phase in your exchange program year. I can assure you that decades from now you won't even remember this "rough patch", will have very fond, nostalgic memories of your CBYX year, and will wonder how on earth this year flew by so fast! Guaranteed!

As a current study abroad student 5 months in who has literaly never heard a word of the language before arriving in the country im at. Its actually not that bad. More fun than anything id say. All the things like loneliness and anxiety apply mostly to the first few weeks and you get over it quicker than you wouldve though. Just find friends and put yourself out there

Just a tip: The reason why you did not lose weight even though you lowered your calorie count considerably is that the body goes into starvation mode and works with what little you give to keep functioning. You need to "tell" your body that it's alright by getting your metabolism going and that means getting off the couch and get your blood pumping by working out, walking, running. Only then the eating less thing will work. :)

@user-er8tr9kt8l

2 жыл бұрын

The by far easiest methode is to do whatever in the cold. You burn a lot of calories, its good for circulation and cold water is also good for the skin. However ... its not the most comfortable of course.

@jock3l

2 жыл бұрын

Also it's about what you eat rather than eating less in general. And reduce carbs in the evening

Thank you so much for being so open about your feelings and experiences, this helped me so much. I am on an exchange year right now, 2 months in and still have 8 more left, and I struggle a lot with the feelings you described in the video and also with the binge eating part. I’m feeling very lonely and struggle a lot with anxiety when I think about all of the time I have left. The part with having a lot of free time is so important: I don’t really know what to do apart from school. My friends have to work or they spend their time with their family whereas I don’t have my family to go home to in the afternoon. As I’m spending my year in a smaller town in Latin America, there are no real options such as a swimming club or a book club. I’ve always been super independent and kind of introverted so I thought being on my own would not be a struggle for me but it really is. Thank you for making me feel less like a failure and showing me that this is normal. ❤

One should never underestimate the length and literal darkness of a German fall and winter. For many people it's difficult and a real energy drain. And especially under such difficult circumstances like for you now. That's why I use a "daylight lamp" (?) (=Tageslichtlampe) which helps a lot to get through winter better.

@bwgbwg1529

2 жыл бұрын

btw I like your calm and serious style.

You can do it! Being there feels heavy but once you go back home you’ll see how strong and how much stuff you came across and you will be as proud as a human can be!

You can write book about your experience as an exchange student for a year. You are amazing to cope with these difficulties. I think you will look back on this as a positive experience. Your parents must be so proud of you.

I know how you feel. I'm doing Study Abroad at FDU Wroxton College in Wroxton, Banbury. I'm in my 2nd week of the semester. Some days I suffer from anxiety, depression, and PTSD because I'm away from my friends and family, which changed my life, but thankfully it's a 16-week semester. I know it's hard, but making new friends, attending trips, and joining parties can decrease anxiety, depression, and PTSD. However, working on assignments can be overwhelming, but my teachers and staff are always here to help! If I feel anxious and overwhelmed I try to communicate with my new/old friends and teachers to tell them how I feel to overcome my anxiety. Thank you for sharing this Caroline!

Truly thank you so much for this video!! I am a German currently in France, and especially the part of always kind of feeling excluded hit me so much! It's not even just the language that makes it often hard to integrate into conversations (even though it plays an immense role), but also just all the topics and experiences people of the same nation kind of have. You are just so connected with people from your country, we have grown up with the same things, plus even worse, if you come into an environment of people, who have spent years and years together. It's so hard at times and makes me feel extremely uncomfortable to stand with groups of people, saying nothing, because I know it's not me and in Germany, I would have a lot to say right now. But it has also already kind of improved. We have to keep in mind that it is just so normal and people will appreciate us for different things and different conversations. Yet, crazy, how different we all are, just because we've grown up in different environments. Kind of depressing at times but to look at the positive side of it, it is also sooo interesting to get to know us. Highly appreciate your video. Liebe Grüße aus Toulouse!

thank you so much for sharing! I live in Spain at the moment to study but I am from Germany originally. like you said, everyone is talking about the good parts and of course I know them too 😅 but I had to deal with homesickness as well, especially when two of my family members passed away and I couldn’t be there. until 1-2 years ago I struggled with eating disorder as well .. at some point, it got worse in Spain too. but as soon as I noticed, it got better. I know exactly how you feel!

living my exchange year in the usa and I feel the same way😭 it takes some time for me to add something into a conversation and don’t make it awkward. and at one point you’re just tired of trying to make friends and start spending most of your time talking to your family and friends back home. my vision got worse because of that:( also the demotivation thing is so relatable. I do not feel like I am doing a lot but at the same time I am stressed?? I realized it because my menstrual cycle is extremely unstable since I moved here. I’ve met a lot of great people here but there are only few of them who are my actual friends, unfortunately. the reason of that is just the fact that in order to make friends here I have to focus on someone particular and spend a lot of energy to become close with them. I am tired of small talk and not having a lot of close friends, but on the other hand I don’t have enough energy to talk to people, and make deep connections(

@leonachen2102

Жыл бұрын

I also did an exchange year in the US, i felt like it was MUCH easier to befriend other international students, because they are on the same boat, they are more open to new friendships, they are also far from their families and friends, and you can relate to your feelings about this new country you are in together. So maybe try to get closer to international students associations or activities that you enjoy and try to be with international people. And i had the same problem with menstrual cycle being crazy but it got fixed by itself after a month. Hope this can help !

@ariellaaniella

Жыл бұрын

@@leonachen2102 yes other exchange students in my school are my best friends, we get each other like no one else does:) everything is getting better, I guess it’s just how it always is in winter( as the spring comes, life gets so much easier and fun

Omg thank u sm for posting this. Im studying abroad in france this year and im so scared. im so close to my family too but at least i know what to expect now🥲😂

When i was 20, I went to adelaide to study math at unisa. My mom went with me for a week and a half to have a look around the place. I thought it was normal until the day before my mom left. I could not sleep for the whole night, and would only looked at the night city view. The next morning I helped my mom checked out the hotel and checked in at the airport. When it was time to say goodbye, we hugged and cried. Even after I left the airport, both of us still cried. I wasn't eating, sleeping nor cooking right for a month (roommates were also very VERY dirty) . Meanwhile my mom was also worried. So a month later, I found a place and lived with a couple of taiwan people. They were very lively and reminded me of my home. Then I decided, well since I'm there, I'll just enjoy the moment. I got back to normal, started learning how to cook. I didnt even know I could make kaya hahaha. I would then also take pictures of what I'd cooked and send pics to my mom.

You're really self-aware, articulate and analytical. I'm so impressed you can articulate your issues so well at your age. Well done. I know you've returned to the States and are doing better now. Keep exploring & growing :)

I think you can really be proud of yourself. I can imagaine being a teenager in a foreign country during this time of the year and within a pandemic on top must suck pretty hard. so I'm sorry you're going through this right now. But luckily there's always a flipside of the medal. I'm sure the time you're experiencing right now will help you in future since you're going to grow from this a lot for sure. There're not many people on earth who could stand this, but you seem to be on of the few who could. So chin up, spring will be soon and never forget: even if you're not at home, you're not alone at least. And in a few years you're probably gonna consider this time in Germany as being one of the most valuable experience you ever had so far. Merry Christmas :-)

What I got from the video, you do not have to take any tests but if you are still able to, do it. When I was an exchange student in the US I still took the tests of the classes I attended. Not that the grades mattered but it shows the teacher and the fellow students that you try to be inclusive not be excluded. If you have subjects which are too hard because of the language barrier, read some books or try to listen even when it's hard. Trust me, your language skills will improve tremendously. Since you are an athletic person in the US but you cannot find anything besided the gym, ask the family where you're staying if they have a bike and ride it. If it is not that far, take the ride to school and back, your body will thank you. Take this time as an exchange student to break off from the life you have in the US and maybe look into something else besides sports. Get into music or art. I joined the school choir in the US because I always loved singing and like I said, if you really are into it, the teachers and students will see that and recognize you as one of them. Don't overthink everything, let life take its course and follow. You seem to be a great person, people will recognize that eventually. I hope everything will change for the better so keep your head up.

Thank you for this video. I plan on studying abroad in Germany when I go to college, as my dad is very against me doing it right now. I'm very excited for my future plans but I'm also terrified. I hope the language barrier won't be a problem as I've decided to take a German class these last two years of high school, and my teacher who speaks fluent German says I do extremely well in the language despite me only knowing bits and pieces. I've been doing so much research on programs (CIEE, EF) and what type of exchange I want to do (full semester, summer program, ect ect). We're similar in age I think (I'm 16 as of this comment) and I would love some advice from you about what I should do. I'm definitely gonna check out more videos from you, as I felt very educated but not frightened by what you were saying. Thank you for taking the time to make this video, it's been very helpful ^-^

@Aztokl_xd

11 ай бұрын

16 here too and really wanting to study something related to marine biology in Germany. I wish you lots of luck and don't give up

@mohamedbinrahidkhankhaledb4066

9 ай бұрын

From which country are you

Hi Caroline, I came across your video through total luck, I can relate with a lot with what you are saying and feeling, I am originally from Egypt and did my cultural exchange Year in Minnesota, US back in 2011 and it feels like a similar experience but 12 years later, appreciate every hardship I passed through during my exchange as it helps me up till this moment, I moved to Canada for university in 2014 and it made it so easy for me to Settle here and have less of the homesickness. Enjoy your time, and be sure that things get better. 💪🏼❤️ let me know if you are close to Essen, I can connect you with some friends, if COVID got better, stay safe and stay positive. You are so strong

Caroline!! I’m sending You lots of love and support♥️ thank You for sharing such a hard part of doing exchange programs🙏🏼 that’s the first video in Your blog I’ve watched. Your sincere experience is very much valuable to hear. Keep doing what You love. 🫂

Hey Caroline I really understand you I am a german exchange student in America and for me it was the same thing with friends. In the beginning everyone wants to talk with you but after the first month they get bored. Now I have friends and I like them but I am so tired after school that I don’t feel like coming over to friends. I am in Powerlifting and Track and it’s hard because in Germany I didn’t do that much sports. And I have gained a lot of weight too because the food maybe muscles too but definitely not that that much. But you can do it. I know sometimes it’s hard because of COVID but you can do it.💕

Wow, its not easy to make this type of video. Much respect to you! Just do the best you can in this times, and I'm sure in spring you'll be able to do many things again!

Thank you so much for sharing this. I really think you're doing a great job and from what I heard, you're speaking german soooo well already. Stay strong, even if it's hard with the homesickness. Things to do in your freetime: -drawing -do sports -starting a bullet journal -reading -going for a walk -jogging -watching netflix -listening to podcasts Enjoy your time in germany, I love your videos

Consider the fact that people who stick by you after the novelty of you fades will be better friends long term then any quick friendship. Sorry to hear about your funk about eating, it comes from not having the active lifestyle you are used to. But it seems you are handling it well, which is great to hear. All the best to you and happy new year.

Six weeks until i go back from my study abroad and I wish it was now 😂 I just am over it and seen everything and being here makes me realize how important your family is. Been here for 6 months

I have always said this, and this video confirms it; some Americans are just not meant to leave the US, period, ever.

@PIXTO_

Жыл бұрын

what? most students that travel abroad leaving their home country to travel feel this way I felt this way not from the US

Hello Caroline! I'm from Austria and I was an exchange student in the US when I was 16. I had some tough weeks at the beginning because I didn't really fit in my host family. I was a kind of a shy girl and trying my best to fit in and being polite to everyone and so on. But I kind of had fear of my host sister. She was extremely emotional. I couldn't cope with that. Sometimes she seemed extremely happy and laughed and sang, then she was angry and yelled, another time she cried. And sometimes she did those things with me. I didn't understand why she yelled at me, then she cried and hugged me and so on... I was so unhappy. All the other exchange students seemed to fit in with their families and had good times. The area representative of the exchange program was so awesome, she came and found me very quickly a new family. There was a host sister too. She was a little younger than me. But I went along with anyone very well. For the rest of the year I had a very good time! P.S.: I was never angry about my old host sister. I know she was not wanting to be mean or something. Just for that time of my life I was not grown and experienced enough to cope with this situation. And so was she I guess.

Oh honey. 1. Wasn't there a time change just a few weeks ago? That's probably affecting you too. 2. Find a pool where you can swim laps. It will lift your spirits. 3. Is there an elderly neighbor or a new mom who you could help? Maybe do food shopping for them, or shovel their yard? When I am lowest an feeling sorry for myself, doing something nice for someone else always boosts my mood. Especially if you befriend an elderly person, they might really appreciate your company and be patient with your slow German speech. 4. When I'm having a hard time with food, I write out the night before what I will eat the next day. It keeps me on track. Also, I make the healthy foods as easy to eat as possible - I wash all the apples, I scrape and cut the carrots and put them in a jar of water, etc. 5. Get outside every single day. Go for a walk, and listen to music. Being outdoors and being physical are two things that will lift moods.

Hi Caroline, I fully understand your feelings and insecurities about the COVID19 situation. Almost everyone has their issues with the pandemic, obviously each a bit differently (e.g. few will have to worry about their exchange program being interrupted). The only advice I can give you is to make the best of the situation, enjoy what is still possible and not let yourself be overwhelmed by the negative aspects. Getting through this is certainly a challenge but believe me, if you manage it well, it will certainly help you for the rest of your life, as it will make you grow. There will always be other challenging situations, but remembering how you got through this will make every new challenge easier to deal with.

Hey Caroline, as I learned you have returned to the States. Strongest persons make the hardest decisions. As I adviced you in a former comment, you should act in a way that makes you feel good. Obviously so you did. So I just can say, you are really admirable. I wish you a really happy new year, full of joy, success and healthiness. I am sure those months in Germany will have tought you a lot for your life! All the best for you! :)

I relate to you! I have lived far away from my home town for 7 months but it is not until now I start to miss it. It’s wonderful at the new place and hard at the same time. Hope you’re doing fine now!! Greetings from Sweden

I'm now studying abroad, and of course, I have been having great days here though, it's so tough to make friends in English. If I understand the situation and conversation completely, I don't know how to respond and say something in a normal and nice way for them, I just want them to feel comfortable when we talk but it's quite hard..

Thank you so much for sharing your story and struggles. It was a real eye opener for me ❤️❤️

Hi Caroline! Don`t give up. The experience you get will make you grow and mature as a person. There is a old saying" experience is what you get, when you don't get the things you want".

Thank u so much 4 making these videos. U always make my Day ♥ Keep ur head up, u got this :)

Carolineee baby i love you so much. Thanks for sharing this I can relate to so much and even though it sucks that we’re going through this, it’s comforting to know that other people feel the same. I’m really proud of u for sharing this it means a lot to everyone. I miss you and I hope we can see each other soon 😘

If you dont need subtitles theres is so much good stuff on YT from complete episodes of "Sedwitz" (funny series about the live on the German-German border) to "Zeitzeugenportal" (old fellows talking about their live - usually WW2 or GDR). I can highly recommend the later because there are some people with insane storys that motivate to listening/translating/working on and on.

Thanks Caro! Very bold and encouraging video. I recognize myself one on one in my 1998 exchange year in Canada. I hope you can concentrate on the beautiful sides of Germany again soon.

Thank you for being honest. I’m a student at Uni and felt like I was the only struggling so this means a lot. I recently came back from my trip to Asia and felt like I didn’t belong, homesickness, and felt out of shape. I thought coming back to the USA, I would feel better but I’m struggling to readjust and catch up with school.

I deeply appreciate how honest and open you show your thoughts and emotions. I wish i was that self-reflected at the age of 16. Sports: Local clubs (Vereine) are usually widely available. Those are a good place to socialise and exercise simultaneously. Your value: You could try and find a new way of appreciation. Idea: As you excel at english, you might try n use that. You could offer some private lessons to classmates. Alternatively partake in the tasks of the potential local club. I wish for you that everything will improve. The fact that you see, reflect and understand your current situation so well emotionally is a good base. You even ask for help on the internet, that takes some courage =) Can only give the advise of talking to people. Tell them how you feel, and ask for help. That might be your host family, your american friends or even your family. There are always people who love you and support you. Hard times are natural and everything will get better. Wish you all the best =)

I fully understand you. I'm doing an exchange year in the US and I am from Germany. It is really hard to find friends and get into the friend groups..

I can totally understand and relate, I had the exact same thing when I was in Australia. I wish I could help you somehow. Find something you love to do, I know it is hard and covid is not making it easier. Can you talk to your host family about it ? And the language situation will get better by time, you can do this and after the holidays I guess it will be also a little better. Sorry for not having an advice but I just wanted to let you know, that you are not alone :)

what a brave thing you've done here - i hope sharing your feelings helped a little already, and i'm sure this video is going to help many other people, too: either to see your perspective, or to feel understood. there is already so much great advice in the comments, so i'm not sure i'm adding anything useful here. perhaps you could talk to your teachers about tasks they can give you, or reading material etc. - not for grades, but about subject related stuff that just makes you curious or fascinates you, so that you can make the most of your exchange year also in terms of learning about interesting things while improving your german skills. btw, do people switch to english in conversations when you are looking for the right words? of course doing that all the time is not helping your german, but now and then it can help the conversation, so that you can maybe mix english and german, with the german percentage getting higher over time? like, my impression is that you're a super nice person, and i agree with the other comments here: no one (in their right mind) thinks you're boring. culturally, germans are indeed not that outgoing, in fact i'm not very german in that aspect of my personality, so i've experienced a lot of situations in which people thought it was strange that i was so friendly and happy. but i just was, and i am, so these days i don't really care anymore if people find that unusual. :D but germans can come out of their shell, too, and a different cultural influence can help with that. so what you describe sounds a lot like a mixture of school pressure (because they have to study a lot), general awkwardness/helplessness with conversations need a little more time, and all the difficulties that covid brings, and some of these his young people particularly hard. also, maybe you can find some running buddies and go for a run when the weather is ok, or for walks? and are there maybe peopel who need help with their english? then you can help each other. or maybe there is an animal shelter where you can help out? walk dogs, pet cats, if that's something you like? animals are such great company. caroline, you are - like i said - super brave for living so far away from home at such a young age, and the way you handle your current struggle is awesome, even if it feels really shitty. it's hard, and it's totally normal to feel sad and overwhelmed. you're not alone, and i promise things will get better. you will find a way into better days. sending you lots of love and light! :)

This is very good to hear from someone going through it. I have no strong family ties, and we hardly ever interact with each other. The language barrier is the only part of this that i can see applying to me as a University student. It will be hard to partake fully in the conversation with my limited language skill, but the first semester of the program from my university system is essentially an immersion semester. I will be documenting it as well, so i am interested in seeing how it plays out. Thanks sooo much for this perspective, its something that is hardly ever seen.

pretty sure we share a brain w these struggles. love you. so glad we have each other 🤍

@carolineruby

2 жыл бұрын

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I studied abroad and while everything really went fine on the outside (i had friends, i did a lot of fun things, i likes most of my classes)... I felt a lot of anxiety. Eventually it just was too much so i had to go back home and felt like a failure because i thought everyone is super happy in their semester abroad and it's like "yes it was hard BUT it was also AMAZING and i made it" while for me it eas "Yeah it was fun but also very hard and then i had panic attacks and ended up at the ER a few times and then accepted that I can't stay" and then i cried for 3 months straight because of how much i missed that place and the nature and the friends. I really would have liked to stay there but the anxiety just got too much.

@lucam9806

3 сағат бұрын

And it wasn't even a country with a lot of culture shock, i went from one country in Europe to another country in Europe with a similar culture.

You are such a wonderful person and I enjoy watching your videos so much! Try not to study for grades. Do it for yourself. You could bring a dictionary to class. Spend time looking up words on worksheets and in the books. If there is nothing to do, try to note and remember 5 new words every lesson. Make lists of vocabulary and example sentences. Try to copy from the board everything the German students write down and look up words. Ask a classmate for help with the homework and your German. Try to make the most of this time that seems boring. Your German will get better and before you know, you will understand much more!

Sounds funny but what helps me with homesickness is watching German (or in your case American) TV - and having frequent video calls with my family, of course. I hope you feel better soon!

I've got all the respect for you sharing your emotions. I know it can be hard to talk about stuff like this. but this video will help so many people who will be in the very same situation. working out is great for overcoming boredom..and even if the gyms are getting closed down again you can still work out at home or go running etc. I'd recommend reading a lot aswell. you can learn our language and kill some time. also are there any rules that say you are not allowed to get a small job? maybe you can find something that's fun and you get some money aswell :) covid really is a problem but I doubt you would just get sent home. maybe we will have a lockdown again but with the new government I have strong hopes for things being done with a lot more thought behind it I'm very impressed how well you manage all of this and how fast you adapted to such a different and sometimes difficult country :)

i went through the same thing when i moved to study in madrid ! the language barrier it self is a bad thing but things goes kinda easy with time i guess ! keep up and be happy