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That talk was mesmerizing. I found myself thinking, omg, I'd have loved to have had a dad as compassionate and lovable as you are. You never fail to amaze 🥰 p.s. hair and beard are taking on a life of their own 🤣😂🤣

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

What an absolutely lovely comment! Thank you so much! Im sending you a GIANT hug! I hope you are finding all your Flock membership benefits by the way! xx

I had come to the realization that I could not have any. I didn't have a chance to be a father, so I just got the hystro & move on. I would have been a great dad. I did not start my transition until I was 42/43. I am now 47. I also figured that I would have already had all the surgeries by now. I have only done my hystro, so it's just frustrating. I was about to get my name change papers notarized & turned in when all these stay at home orders were announced. Another frustrating situation. Sorry for the ramble!! I hope you & Chris are doing well!!! Take Care Brother!!! Thanks For The Video!!! You always make me smile!!! Much Love Krischen!!!👍😎😃

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Very glad to make you smile! This lockdown is having so many far reaching consquences, fingers cross for normal life soo n and getting your papers done! Much love to you from us!

Making great sense again Finn. In earlier videos I heard you say you'd never wanted children and also that you never felt the urge to carry a child. It makes so much sense that you discovered the longing to be a dad once your body finally started to fit better! Whatever the complicating factors may be it's important, and a good challenge to think outside of the box about parenthood, there are so many more ways! I had extremely bad menorrhagia and dysfunctional bleeding for 8 years until a combination of meds finally got it under control, but to conceive I had to come off those meds which was terrifying. But even before I tried that I decided I would be a mum somehow, even if I couldn't carry children. I still remember how empowering it felt to realise that, very much a moment filled with muchness!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Bless your heart. Yes , l now feel the same way, that if we decide it will be just as meaningful, however it happens.

Due to cost and all that is involved I decided to have kids myself. I'm now going through transitioning older but I don't regret it at all.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

That's wonderful! A good example that we must do what is right for us as individuals!

I was really surprised how my feelings on children changed when I was around 20 or 21. I went from being vehemently against the idea to desperately wishing I could find a stable relationship and have kids. However, when I came out as FTM at 26, and I was discussing with the doctor when I was about to start T, I had to explain that while I do want kids, I can't afford to store my eggs. To put it bluntly, I'm poor. So I started T without storing them, and now I'm slowly coping with the loss of my ability to have biological children.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing with me. The loss of fertility is a tough thing to process, and one l too find myself grieving for on and off through life. I have made peace with it though because at the end of the day, my mental health was more important and my transition saved my life. There is always another option to make a family if we chose later on

Lovely to see you too my friend! Love your beard!!! Mine got to itchy, but I'm growing out my hair, it looks goofy (it's wavy hair so I have little curls at the ends now lol) I always tell everyone that asks me if I wanted to have kids, I would adopt, just because there are so many kids out there that really need good homes. I also have TERRIBLE genetics that I don't want to pass on to anyone, I wouldn't wish my life on anyone, even my worst enemy. I also have PCOS, which made it pretty much impossible to have kids with all my health issues on top of that, I was pregnant once, and lost it, so after that horrific experience, I decided that I would rather not have kids for that time, and if I change my mind later, I would always have adoption as an option 🥰👍 Just as a weird side note, there is a newscaster on CNN over here in the U.S. that is gay, has a wonderful husband, JUST HAD A SON!!! They used a surrogate and was very well appreciated, Oh, Finn, that baby is so cute!!! The newscaster's name is Anderson Cooper if you can find him on CNN over videos about him having a baby, it made my heart melt that there was so much support and that he could call himself a dad! Even the interviewers had happy tears for him with his announcement on live TV! 💖✨👏🌟🥳🎉 I am very blessed to have you in my family! 🤗🥰 *SUBSCRIBER HUGS!!!* I needed a Finn Fix today! YAY! You were here! Thank you from the bottom of my appreciative heart! I have a cat named Leo and when I legally changed my name, I took his name as my middle name, he's forever in my heart =^..^= and so are you my friend! Thank you for this video, it's very informative and made me get some warm fuzzies! 😊

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

I am always happy to provide you with a Finn fix! Massive hugs to you! I relate to the curly beard, mine isnt tight curls but has a definate wave! And yes, there are so many children in need of parent, we would both be very happy to give one a home, perhaps in our future, after having a cat a while! I love that you took your cats name as your middle name! Sending you a huuuuuuuge hug!

@pmbluemoon

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible *HUGE HUGS* to you as well, I hope you get a cat that is like mine, a definite snuggler and lovey one, very vocal, part Siamese. If you look up "Lynx Point Siamese" you'll get to see what he looks like, he's about 15 years old (we had to guess since I found him on the streets, declawed and fixed already, I told him he didn't need to be an outdoor kitty, so I brought him home with me! I even made a book through Shutterfly about him, it came out really good! If I ever get some extra funds, maybe I'll have them reprint it and send it to you! that would be a fun gift! I still have another one in my mind I wanted to find for you, but I'm always dragging butt so I never think to do stuff sometimes when I stay up too late! (Right now it's 10:53pm, and I looked up online, it's 4:53am your time) hehe! Stay safe my friends! 🥰👍💪✨💖💯

Eggs and fertility were one element of transitioning I had not even considered. So good to raise the awareness of these issues to those of us not so in the know. How nice to see Lamb Chop holdi a Baby Chop

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks buddy! And well spotted!

Thanks so much for sharing you’re awesome ☺️; I found what you said about changing your mindset from maternal to paternal so interesting and it made so much sense and I couldn’t agree with you more that family and parents are love not blood💙💗 and while I might not understand everything about being trans because I’m not, I totally agree that it’s “your body, your choice” whether you’re trans or not, male or female, straight or gay. I could relate so much to what you said about grief from losing your Mum and how that triggers grief about other things - that happens to me a lot. I also totally get the grief from losing your ability to be a biological parent. In school they tell you that over age 35 your risk of having a child with Downs syndrome increasing exponentially but they don’t tell you that your fertility decreases exponentially too. By the time I medically needed a hysterectomy at age 42 they told me my chance of having a viable egg was like 2%. I think you and Chris would make lovely parents ☺️

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Bless you, it is tough to come to terms with and the grief comes in waves over the years I find. And yes, the realisation after top surgery was quite something! To feel like a dad, even a dad without childre, is a wonderful feeling. We will be fur parents first....then we shall see! Much love to you!

Thank you for another important and very personal video 💕 like you I started my treatment in my 30s and had similar thoughts when it came to egg storing, so I decided against it. It's so incredible to hear, that I am not the only one who never wanted to marry or have kids before transition because I could not bear the thought of those "female" roles. Like you I now feel like it could be in my future as a husband and maybe even dad. Thank you for making this part of your journey public, I feel less strange and alone for having gone through similar thought processes. I wish you all the best for whatever you should decide on in that matter.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for your thoughtful and honest comment, yes, its a strange thing to experience isnt it, the shift from maternal to paternal. You certainly are not alone and equally its nice to know Im not either! Heres to fathhood, how ever it manifests for both of us!

@purpleraven8700

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible Knowing you are not alone in this strange experience is comforting indeed. Very well, here's to finding our own definition of fatherhood! It will be good and right, no matter the outcome. 💕

Mate this was how I was feeling at first and then I was resigned to the fact I was never gonna have kids. Losing dad was the factor for us to have a family it pushed us even more. You and chris will always have rosie her fabulous uncle finn and furr 😁😁😁

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks buddy. Once this rona sods off we will be visiting!

Hi Finn. I also didn’t choose to have my eggs frozen (I think it’s not the correct term but whatever lol). I really feel what you’re saying even with 25 years. I really felt that “yikes” you said hahaha. I think a cat is a really good start and I’m looking forward to know your new catbaby. Also, let me tell you, even if you don’t have millions of subscribers (even tho you should because you’re awesome), you are the kind of person I would never unsubscribe. Every video makes me smile and laught with you, and also learn a ton of new stuff. Cheers to you and your Chris and future cat family 🖤

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

That is such a kind thing to say! I am so grateful to you for sticking with me and journeying with me! I am so please to make you laugh and teach you stuff! I cant wait to one day share our cat baby with you!

I have always thought I'd be a mom. Everyone else always thought I'd have a boat load of kids. I was a preschool teacher for 8 years. But I am almost 30 and no kids. Sometimes the place we see ourselves is not the journey we are meant to take. Trans or not. I loved this video though. Thanks for sharing!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

That is very true! Ive learned that my plans are great, but that the universe truly knows where I should be and I trust it! Thanks for your lovely comment, and for watching!

You’re amazing and loved. So happy I’ve found this family. 💖

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Bless you! I'm glad you've found this family too!

You are perfectly right, my dear, your body your choice and, absolutely right that it’s not the blood but love that raises a child, a family!!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Yes indeed! I

Great topic, thanks for sharing.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watching!

Great topic! I have been struggling with the idea of parenthood

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

It's not easy is it? Just take time my friend

Hey Finn, thanks again for a video I feel with. I also have decided not to store my eggs which was always a plan because I have a genetic disorder I would pass on was going to get a sperm donor and a surrogate but now I have decided to adopt a boy after my transition.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Thanks for watcjing, I am so glad to hear you hav found a solution that works for you, Chris and I have talked about adopting too.

That is too bad, Finn. The world needs to be filled with more sweet, pure hearted souls like you.

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Bless your heart. :)

Hiya Finn - great video as always and nice to hear you're thoughts on this subject. Personally I never wanted children and I was vocal about it from a young age. Some people have a real passion for wanting kids from a real young age/others its not so clear to them. Much love to you and Chris.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Hi buddy! Yes, I think many assume that everyone wants kids and not everybody does, and thats OK! I still dont feel grown up enough to have kids! Cat first! Much love to you from us!

@itsreallyimportantman

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible Hey you know what they say about assuming right? assuming makes an ass outta us both. I don't feel grown up at all for kids SO I made a deal with myself pets only!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

@@itsreallyimportantman LOVE this!

Hey finn, great video. I know i not trans but i have had the same grieving about not being a parent. I had an ectopic pregnancy when i was 27. I was 12 weeks and had no idea. I had to have emergency surgery as my tube ruptured and i was hemorrhaging. For years after i put it to the back of my mind and juat said i didnt want kids. When i was 47 i started the menopause and was put on hrt, it was only then did i realise that i had wanted children, or should i say, i let it come back in my mind. Im now 49, and still sometimes i wonder what if.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Oh sweetheart, l completely understand. I had a failed pregnancy in my late twenties, total accident but started to embrace the idea...went for a scan and it was a blighted egg, so l understand. I guess we just have to find other ways to use our parenting instincts, plenty of people.are willing to.lend their kids in exchange for a night out! Me and chris look after a friends daughter sometimes and l love that. Sending hugs

@emmakateholder5626

4 жыл бұрын

@@FinnTheInfinncible i have my gorgeous munch, Tristan. I was at his birth, he was born at 28 weeks and only weighed 2lb 6, he was in scbu 3 months, he turned 12 at beginning of this month. I love him so much and have such an amzing bond with him xx

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

I love that xxx

💗 it's better to have two cats who get along than just one, really really 😊

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

I LOVE your thinking!

Most interesting 👍

@FinnTheInfinncible

Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much and thanks for watching!

This is exactly how i feel! I feel like i want to be a dad

@FinnTheInfinncible

3 жыл бұрын

Yes I relate, my partner and I havent rules out the idea of fostering or adoption at some point

I was adamant I didn't want any children, especially giving birth to them myself. But part of me wishes that the option could have still been there if I was cis, so it wouldn't cause me dysphoria if that makes sense? I also mourn not growing up as a boy sometimes.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

That does make sense! And yes, mourning is part of this journey, it is part of every human journey I think, but pronunced in ours

❤️

Hi

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Hello!

IVG may be a viable option in the near future. :) Anyone else heard of it?

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Someone else did mention that yes. Cannot remember who!

I've always been strongly opposed to the idea of having children biologically, even before I knew I was trans. I've always been firm on the idea that whether I want children or not in the future the state of my personal fertility isn't really relevant. If I were cis I wouldn't be reproductively compatible with my partner anyway. There's so many people in the world who can't have children easily (be they trans, gay, infertile, or any number of things) and having children genetically related to you really shouldn't be as much of a cultural focus as it is. Personally I find the idea of my raising a child horrible, and the sooner I am rid of the parts that could allow it to happen accidentally the better. People always say ''what if you change your mind?'' so what if I do? It wouldn't impact my ability to be a good parent if I wanted. You have the true qualities that would make a good father, being kind, honest and knowing yourself, so you will be a great dad if you decide to be in the future!

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Absobloominglutely!!! Total agree with you! Not every can, or wants to have childrem and thats OK! There is so much focus on children as the be all and end all of life and of course it isnt!

Just to add there are a number of trans and non-binary pregnancy and parenting Facebook groups for trans and non-binary people looking to find out more information. They can also be a great form of support; I cannot speak for other countries, but in my experience in the UK the NHS is not geared up to supporting trans and non-binary pregnancies, but there are people working to change this.

@sep.s

4 жыл бұрын

Oh and to add it was only when I felt comfortable in my gender identity that I started to have the desire to be a parent.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

I'd agree with that. Thank you for posting, it's so important that people know where to go for support. I have very little idea so please do feel free to share links!

This guy should be a therapist.

@FinnTheInfinncible

4 жыл бұрын

Thank you! I have, a fair few times, you should try it, does wonders for the soul.