Damn doctors be out here teaching rizz now. What a time to be alive

@sarfoashong2687

2 ай бұрын

I gotta tell you bruv. What a time to be alive!

@sarfoashong2687

2 ай бұрын

What a time to be alive 😂

@epikjoe4189

Ай бұрын

Ngl didn’t this already exist? I swore there was real professionals teaching stuff like this.

@alfdiinternet2486

Ай бұрын

Love this doctor dude

@bulldozer8950

Ай бұрын

Dr k is the only one on KZread who can be like “this is how you scientifically get rizz” and I believe that he’s not bullshitting and grifting something and is actually gonna drop real advice

I think authenticity can be developed by self-talk or journaling. This helps us study ourselves to know exactly what we are talking about.

@_WeDontKnow_

4 ай бұрын

well said! i agree totally

@redsalmon9966

4 ай бұрын

I do self-talk quite a lot, but I was wondering if there’s a big difference between verbally self-talking or just doing it in your own mind

@larseriksson42

4 ай бұрын

Yeah, I'm really curious about authenticity. I always explain the JohAri window method of self knowledge to people, as it is super easy to understand, and explain to people.

@jcnot9712

4 ай бұрын

I’m more partial to self-talk. It’s harder to know when to stop if I’m journaling, but when I’m thinking out-loud I always find a natural stopping point.

@_WeDontKnow_

4 ай бұрын

@@redsalmon9966 self talk will help you with the skill of putting your thoughts into words, but I do think there's value in sitting and letting your mind wander around

19:15 my gf once told me that "honesty without empathy is cruelty" and it makes sense I wouldn't say someone cruel is charismatic

@Dogspine1

4 ай бұрын

You're girlfriend is a keeper, very smart thing to say

@rolo9263

4 ай бұрын

Truth is truth if you cant handle it somethings wrong with you. But if it moves ypu to be a better person thats you dealing with it. Truth is cruel Lies are sweet and sour Make your choice

@sapo-san8054

4 ай бұрын

a prime example of someone who lacks empathy not saying you are wrong, but there are better ways to say what you just said. that's literally what my comment is about

@rolo9263

4 ай бұрын

@@sapo-san8054 Empathy is the ability to understand others feelings yet we live in a world where the now is more important than the later. If you truly understand peoples feelings you would know that by not telling them the truth now could lead them to suffer in the future because of a false perception of the world they live in, a false perception that you helped created by pampering to there feelings, the same feeling we shouldnt trust half the time. Cruelty is the wrong word to use in your comment because the intencion is not to cause them harm. When you get sick and get a fever you complain about the fever and not the illness that activates the fever. Yet the fever is necesarry for the illness to be cured. Same goes with the truth, it could hurt (that all depends in the degree of understanding we have on the subject) but it libarates us. Pain and suffering are part of life, but deception and confusion are not. Tell the truth and you get the former mask it and you get the latter.

@sapo-san8054

4 ай бұрын

​@@rolo9263 telling the truth and being empathic are not mutually exclusive. If you are confusing deception and lies with being empathic, you should go learn about it

1- Develop a vision. This is not a goal, but an ideal about how you want your life to be. You also have to be able to implement that vision 2- Structure. It's about when, where and how you're gonna implement your vision 3- Strategic thinking. How to circumvent the setbacks in the path to moving towards our vision 4- Being authentic. This builds trustworthiness towards others. Try to be your authentic best self. A bit of negativity is alright, but not traumatic diarrhea in the speech 5- Temper what to say with compassion. Being authentic is not about not hiding negative things, but about not creating fake things about oneself 6- Clarify your communication. Practicing writing is a good idea for this The three main points to good charisma are vision, authenticity and communication

@theterminaltech3323

4 ай бұрын

Thank you 😊

@vanessaprincesssa

3 ай бұрын

Thank you so much! 🎉

@munchie9279

3 ай бұрын

I love this. I can see this not just as charisma advice, but a really good stand point for setting attainable but worthwhile goals in life. Having a vision is so important but it's so easy to get caught up in giving ourselves unattainable or otherwise totally pointless goals.

@aellalee4767

3 ай бұрын

Thanks! This helps a lot!

@balazsfoldes4700

2 ай бұрын

It's actually why I think arguing with idiots on the internet is a semi-useful activity. Sure, you're not changing anyone's mind, but you learn to structure your arguments and thoughts on a topic.

My two cents: stay away from "How to win friends and influence people" it was written in the 1900s and is outdated. The whole book is pretty much how to achieve the ultimate people pleaser syndrome

@peachcobbler641

4 ай бұрын

I read it too and thought it was terrible

@daveSoupy

4 ай бұрын

Really? I still find a ton of that advice still applies today

@sighfly2928

4 ай бұрын

You must be religious?

@Madchris8828

4 ай бұрын

​@@sighfly2928 I'm confused what religion has to do with this

@SnugglehPuppeh

4 ай бұрын

I think it is well-paired with The assertiveness workbook by Randy Paterson.

Dr. K omitted (to my knowledge) one of the BIGGEST things he does so well and is a huge charisma boost: sense of humor and ability to laugh at oneself!! It shows confidence in yourself by not being afraid to admit your mistakes and laugh along. And it can disarm people and make them enjoy your company far more. And for me… the bottom circle of hell is a conversation with humorless/boring people.

@Mettas2

4 ай бұрын

I think confidence is a byproduct of having a clear vision. If you know where you want to go and who you want to be, there's less room for anxiety.

@The_Reductionist

4 ай бұрын

Agree with Mattas2 - all that should come as a byproduct of having the factors dr.k mentioned otherwise your trying to fake the outcome without building a foundation/root.

@kristoffer2250

4 ай бұрын

He has this in a different video unfortunately

@troefuy9950

4 ай бұрын

​@@kristoffer2250which one, if you know by any chance?

@hectichive889

4 ай бұрын

@@Mettas2 Well shit….

I've noticed I'm more clear and even get "compliments" from people in discussions when I've been actively writing about stuff, but not just writing, putting in effort to make it somewhat polished. Reading "smart" books and stuff (basically anything that is not a half-assed article or things like that) really helps with learning new ways of saying things for sure. When I didn't write for a long period of time my conversations were either boring or embarrassing so I can testify this works

@sopwafel

4 ай бұрын

I write a lot on Reddit lmao. I always chastise myself for it but I'm actually writing out ideas and perspectives and I'm probably getting better in the same way

@lemonqvartz

4 ай бұрын

me too, in a way! I find that if I'm not posting text on my Instagram stories or texting friends, I get way more fumbly with my words lmao

@PoshByDefault

4 ай бұрын

So you're a Jordan Peterson fan? Basically don't be a leftard right?

@Zoxide_

4 ай бұрын

@@PoshByDefault wat

@PoshByDefault

4 ай бұрын

@@Zoxide_ educating yourself these days makes you a Jordan Peterson fan. The words that OP typed seems to indicate that he learned it from the likes of Jordan Peterson

I think physical attractiveness is important for the first impression or getting someone to approach you, after that it isn't very useful as far as charisma goes.

@allisthemoist2244

4 ай бұрын

Not necessarily. I massively improved my attractiveness, and it helps only until you start talking. Women are more forgiving when you're awkward or bad at talking to people, but it has a massive limit. I think it works like this ish: attractive people need at least 70%-80, the speech skills of average people, and unattractive people need 110-120% speech skills. Speaking is still the most important thing. Having said that, looks are still way easier to improve, so they do make a good area of focus.

@levelup2014

4 ай бұрын

Yes it it there both relatively equal in terms of importance

@allisthemoist2244

4 ай бұрын

@@levelup2014 attractiveness is not very important in the minds of women (I have three sisters and a lot of platonic female friends who I've asked). They can do one very big thing, though. Looks can boost your confidence and make you better at talking. The first time I had the courage to ask a hot girl for her number (and somehow got it), was when I had done a lot of work to improve my looks, and I felt good enough about myself to ask her. So they don't do very much (in my experience) to change what women think of you, but they can change how you act for the better. Especially for people who are like I was, and needed something to tip the scales and give them courage

@toastpoppin

4 ай бұрын

Interesting. Its also important to note because we're biologically attracted to whatever we deem attractive. We're just naturally more drawn to physical attributes i guess but yea in the long run your looks die down and the real person comes out. So makes sense

@di3486

4 ай бұрын

100% TRUE. That’s why I am screwed😂

6:55, he always gets me when he pulls out the Indian guy lmao

@Chasebanks523

Ай бұрын

@@RoninClips333 nah for real 😂

@TheSteinbitt

Күн бұрын

Indian dad is right though, we hate to hear it, but pursuing a life of “art and beauty” is basically becoming a bum.

I just had a mini epiphany. The reason "bad boys" are so attractive to people is because they are relentless in achieving their vision. The dedication to their vision that they show is almost like watching a beast like a lion or bear hunt down their prey. It shows the ability to overcome the obstacles that get in their way, like you said. They're not afraid of short term failure, but rather they reject the possibility of long term failure. Dr. K really is a master at this craft of teaching and mentoring. Thank you, sir, for being an inspiration and guide.

@rorschach775

Ай бұрын

"bad boy" needs a better definition. The description you just gave fits an addict and very few people want to deal with addicts.

@rivervaughanmusicstuff5771

Ай бұрын

@rorschach775 I don't see how I described an addict. I've seen tons of addicts and they are very different from what I've described. Addicts usually have tunnel vision when it comes to their goal of being inebriated in whichever way they see fit. They're over emotional and quick to anger. Watching an addict look for their drug is like watching an episode of DHMIS on repeat, but with no audio. It's creepy in a lot of moments, and the rest of the time, you're just left guessing if there's anything of substance happening in front of you. The hardcore drug addicts I've been describing, they're only afraid of sobriety and facing themselves in the mirror. They'll hurt anyone in their way to get their fix because they don't want to live without the high. I don't see how I described an addict. They're two completely different things. To be fair, when I think and describe an addict, I think of actual meth heads, the homeless kind on the streets who hold kids at knife point for walking home a little too close to his tent on the roadside, the type that listens to the "shadow people" over a judge because "the judge is a demon from hell," and the type who breaks into a closed Planet Fitness gym during the pandemic and uses it as his personal residence because "God said it's the safest place from the portals opening up to hell." All of those examples, by the way, were one meth head. One I have the dishonor to call my biological father.

@rorschach775

Ай бұрын

@rivervaughanmusicstuff5771 so yeah most of those two descriptions are the same

@rivervaughanmusicstuff5771

Ай бұрын

@@rorschach775 we'll agree to disagree

@Suninrags

Ай бұрын

My whole take on "bad boys" is this. When someone is meek/weak, you expect them to be kind. After all, that's all they can be. If someone lacks emotional or physical fortitude and insults everyone around them, they would be stomped into the dirt and left alone. Being nice Is the only way for someone who is weak can thrive. Meanwhile, let's say you have a person who is strong and imposing. They have a sharp tongue and the ability to insult others and back it up with wit and physical force. If a person like that is nice to you, it feels more genuine, simply because they are capable of thriving by stepping on others. Yet when they act kind its a choice. It's not a requirement to exist. Following this logic, some people seek out more abrasive and harsh partners, they might even tolerate some levels of abuse since the times they are nice feel more meaningful. Scarcity is what gives things value after all.

For anyone wanting to learn more about charisma, I highly recommend the book "The Charisma Myth" by Olivia Fox Cabane. It expands on things discussed in this video like vision, implementation, and compassion. It takes a scientific approach similar to how Dr. K does in these videos and it breaks down charisma into a handful of well-defined types, which is huge. That knowledge will make you aware of the innate charismatic qualities that you already have, and through that self-awareness, allow you to lean into those qualities in a 100% genuine way. Just get the audiobook and play it like a podcast how I did, it'll pay off.

@nidradhikya

4 ай бұрын

Thanks for the recommendation!

@fjordfjesta

4 ай бұрын

Yes! A thousand times yes! I try to re-read/listen to this book every year or two as a refresher. Cabane did an excellent job at building an approachable conceptualization of charisma and offers great exercises in developing those parts of self. Glad to see her mentioned here, and glad it has been informative for you as well!

@danielastoica3354

4 ай бұрын

Thank you❤

@laner.845

4 ай бұрын

Compassion is a huge part of charisma. You can't just say that you care about people. You have to actually care.

@ysy_y

3 ай бұрын

Hey, been reading the book. Thanks for the recommendation. Her podcast is a good listen, too.

In my opinion, this kinda video format of starting from a more main stream or attention appealing narrative but pivot into research summary and practical, evidence based methods to improve is INCREDIBLE.

@Skoopyghost

4 ай бұрын

I am sorry. I don't think anything with the brain is provable. For example. To prove reality is real. We just take a vote on it. It's a paradox where we don't know if the shizohrenic is correct and not at the same time.

@avoidedmonster4117

4 ай бұрын

@@SkoopyghostYou have a Post modernist take on biology. If it doesn’t feel true to you then you should write out what does feel true to you. And find out what the differences are. You will be surprised

@yumyum2037

3 ай бұрын

Id call that the "Vsauce" strategy, thats the first channel that comes to my mind when thinking about people who incredibly succeeded at using that concept. He talked about it one time, he said something like he gets a topic he wants to talk about, finds the most eye catching or interesting point about that topic and makes it the title of the video, and then transitions into the actual meat of his message as the video goes on. Very effective infeed

@alf73

Ай бұрын

​@@yumyum2037 Do chairs exist?

@SaulEmersonAuthor

6 күн бұрын

Indeed! In this world of degenerate content like Mr 3east (which would seem to have most of the planet subscribed) - this here channel is an absolute antidote to that & everything it's a sign of. Truly World-changing work, this chap.

It seems like charisma is not only the ability to believe in yourself, but also to convince others to believe in you. Which is easier said than done.

@sp123

4 ай бұрын

the issue is that people tend to believe in tropes instead of individuals so you have to contract yourself into a stereotype that people understand before they believe in you. 80% of yourself has to be a stereotype, 20% is your individual self.

@erinmagner

4 ай бұрын

@@sp123 I understand where you're coming from since Dr. K explained that being able to communicate clearly is the #1 quality you need, but in reality you can be 100% authentic and still communicate clearly, it's just harder because you need to be more creative. It also depends on what the goal is. I think people should actually try to abandon everything inauthentic and just observe the results instead of copying what already seems to work for most people. If you don't take any risks you won't develop the qualities necessary to convince anyone that you have something unique that they can't find elsewhere. Following tropes on the other hand is good if your goal is getting ahead without putting in any work.

@chrisjfox8715

4 ай бұрын

Well one way to acheive it is to let go of the notion that you need to convince most of the people you meet, which is a trap that a lot of people fall into. They face a handful of "rejection" then wallow in echo chambers that convince them that the whole world doesn't like them for reasons x, y, and z - other people's anecdotes become datapoints for their own life. They're far too focused on the collective of people instead of talking to the individual in front of them, and accepting the fact that they may or may not connect with this person for reasons that aren't necessarily anyone's fault. Sometimes we don't vibe with the person we meet and that's ok - that's just not the right individual to make a more permanent part of your circle.

@chrisjfox8715

4 ай бұрын

​@@sp123if you're not flipping those percentages in the opposite direction *at least* then you're forcing yourself to befriend the wrong people. Plus, I hear where you're coming from but part of it is recognizing that charisma oftentimes has little to do with trying to get the other person to see you and like you...those things oftentimes become a byproduct of you making a genuine effort to see the true them. It's not all about you. Others feel warm in your presence when you're open enough to let them in. Bitterly making yourself smaller just to please them is bound to lead to growing resentment towards people you just met, which isn't warm at all.

@sophiashekinah9872

4 ай бұрын

Well, trying to convince anyone to believe in us a lack of belief in ourselves. When we wholeheartedly believe in ourselves and our vision, we're not trying to convince anyone of anything; we're showing; doing; proving.

41!?! bro looks like hes in his 20s

@exoticfanta

Ай бұрын

Late 20s - early 30s

@jackcastle4810

Ай бұрын

Low blood pressure maybe, can slow signs of aging.

@1person69races8

Ай бұрын

Who's 41??????? HIM??????? brohh

@Ray-pp5qb

Ай бұрын

He definitely looks 40.

@exoticfanta

Ай бұрын

@@Ray-pp5qb late 30s

As I person who used to be extremely overweight (170kg) and then lost weight up to 107kg, I can tell anecdotally that people treat you far-far worse when you are unattractive because of their biases, stereotypes, and the way we find partners(and it’s far worse as a child). Without fixing the underlying issue this would help just a bit.

@Tidalley

4 ай бұрын

Very true. Makes it real hard to believe that looks are only about 11% of charisma. Its gotta be at least 30

@o_o............

4 ай бұрын

I feel you man, i think you also should reflect about how was your behaviour and how it affected relationships before losing weight, going from 170 to 107 doesn't happen without at least a change in emotional regulation...

@o_o............

4 ай бұрын

Not trying to Dr. K you, I was more writing to myself.

@Queen_BeesKnees

4 ай бұрын

I used to be a healthier weight when i was younger, but over the past decade I climbed to about 120kg (I'm a 5"8 woman). While people don't flirt with me as much, I've mentally got into a better place and feel I am actually more charismatic now than I was when I was more "attractive". People take me more serious at work (Im a woman who works at a video game store, not always easy), people start randomly talking to me outside of work and overall I have found building relationships with people easier. This is purely due to mental work, things that Dr. K talked about like being authentic and being better at communication and reliable. As someone who has only grown older and larger (two big NOs as a woman), I can 100% believe looks are 10% of charisma.

@freeway394

4 ай бұрын

​@@Tidalley Being considered charismatic and being 'fairly treated' are different things, I think, even though appearance plays into both. At least anecdotally, I know people who were both overweight and charismatic

The Stoics (capital S) classify cheerfulness under the umbrella of courage. It takes COURAGE to be OPTIMISTIC.

it's so funny to see all these chapters about charisma and stuff, and randomly in the middle of all of em you see 'the world is falling apart'. that shit gave me a chuckle like twice already

Can't believe Dr K is 41, he looks and feels so much younger. And yes, he's very charismatic, but I don't really think it's just because he's got a vision and writes down things before talking. Of course that gives him direction and clarity, and makes listening to him not only pleasant but also valuable. But most of his charisma comes from his personality, and not everyone has got such a personality. It's not only about what you say, it's about how you say it. Many people are authentic, know things and even know how to talk about those things, but charisma in my opinion is much more about an inner fire that makes everything you say interesting because your words are impregnated of your soul. Wit, humour and compelling communication come from that fire, so the first step that many people should take before the ones Dr K talked about, is learning how to light up their inner fire.

@-..._._-.

4 ай бұрын

How do you know what dr.k feels like😳

@torom86

4 ай бұрын

@@-..._._-. I meant that I perceive him younger than his age, not how he feels.

@jet3754

4 ай бұрын

hehe jokes aside, these insights really resonate with me, well said

@sovereignknight9290

4 ай бұрын

Yes, I think you are correct but I think that inner fire you are talking about is part of what Dr K says when you need to start cultivating a vision. That vision itself gives you confidence, direction, and ambition to move forward and this causes people to perceive that you have the inner fire. For instance, if your vision about your future includes being able to live a life that you yourself are proud of and you actually implement steps to move forward in this "vision", then people perceive you as being someone who has "self confidence" and an inner fire that allows you to do hard things, but for you you are simply doing things that would make you proud of yourself(for example like building up your body, providing for your family, going out and taking risks to advance in your career, etc.). Part of what makes Dr K so charismatic is that his vision is tied to helping people like himself(he has said before that his 20 year old self was aimless and he lacked understanding of himself), so now he appears as more than just your average doctor because he is committed and actually cares about his vision of helping people.

@torom86

4 ай бұрын

@@sovereignknight9290 I think you see it the other way round, in my opinion the vision comes from that inner fire (and, of course, developing a vision feeds that fire on the long term). People who don't have that fire can build a vision out of rational thinking just because they want to make sense of their life, but in most cases it's just a list of things they consider good, it's not a primary instinct that's naturally part of themselves and therefore they come up as bland and not that magnetic even if they have a vision.

When you mentioned you would write everything before speaking, it made sense as to why I would get comments on articulating things very well. It’s because I’ve practiced saying these things in my head and writing it 1000 times before I made the final draft. Charisma is really just inspiring people to be better versions of themselves. You leave an impact so much that they can’t help themselves to be around you.

@samanthakim5035

4 ай бұрын

Agree

@samanthakim5035

4 ай бұрын

Do you think typing makes it less effective? I write my random and important thoughts in the notes app for safety reasons, and I feel like there's still going to be a lack of that tangible feeling.

@Doublepulse

4 ай бұрын

@@samanthakim5035 I believe it can make an impact for some people. For me it really does depend on the circumstances. But I can say I remember things and feel more connected with what I write than typing. The part where it depends on the situation is when I’m either exclusively typing or writing comments like these as I have generally all the time to think before sending things out, and if I’m reading my own scripts out loud refining them as I go along. In real time conversations, if I don’t find myself in a flow or I try to hard to think about the next choice of words. I tend to go blank lol. 😂

@MrRottenAnimals

4 ай бұрын

The benefits might not show up instantly, but they will end up showing up. Whatever you find really interesting, write it down, maybe as a simple note at first. But then it will never be lost to time. You can come back to it. And you will. And then maybe there will be a whole reasoning with the idea, a set of facts to build from. Then maybe you'll rehearse telling someone about it in your head, or with a friend, maybe in writing who knows. But all this process will end up paying off. We just have to remember, we do not decide when it pays off. Or with whom. But we can be certain that it will. Also please don't be afraid of talking to yourself if you like that, or feel like it's good for you. @@samanthakim5035

I misread "Christmas Isn't What You Think It Is".

@Dah_J

Ай бұрын

I read “why Christianity isn’t what you think it is”

@somethingcreativeprobably5160

20 күн бұрын

That's also true

Charisma is in some ways an acknowledgment that the charismatic person is both leading and following at the same time. It engages the other person fully because they are communicating a vision to them and then allowing the other person to accept or deny that vision. It’s the balance in real time between taking and giving control to another person. That active process comes off as what we call charisma.

@meowmeowharmonicus

4 ай бұрын

Your description is very similar to the idea of leadership in Taoist philosophy. I like that. "If you want to govern the people, you must place yourself below them. If you want to lead the people, you must learn how to follow them." - excerpt from Tao Te Ching, Verse 66, Stephen Mitchell translation.

@darrensucksatgames

4 ай бұрын

@@meowmeowharmonicus I read the Tao but it’s been awhile now. I should go back and re-read it. But yes that is exactly it. When you truly find knowledge in most subjects, the simplicity and the uncertainty is never clearer and leading from there keeps that entire concept in play of staying below the people you are trying to help.

On Authenticity. My experience with being autistic (undiagnosed for substantial parts of life) and somewhat weirdly gendered (deeply repressed for substantial parts of life): being authentic gets me very little romantic/sexual action but being inauthentic gets me nothing but a vague feeling that everything good in life is slowly draining away... It can be a tough dilemma at times.

@dericflairmultiverse4952

4 ай бұрын

That sounds rough! I hope you'll figure it out tho

@fordalels

4 ай бұрын

being authentic has to be balanced with trying to care for others' interests, where a healthy relationship would be both partners sharing and listening to their interests

@blairdurward4324

2 ай бұрын

I have a similar feeling, my authentic self isn’t someone I’m proud to be, or someone I’d ever want to be with. So that makes me think that being authentic isn’t for me.

@firefrog101

Ай бұрын

Do you struggle with oversharing? In what ways have you being authentic turned other people off?

@joenuts5167

Ай бұрын

Your life sounds like mine lol

This video clarifies for me how it is that my charisma has increased so much over the years. It's a bit of a mind bend to feel like now people are actually drawn to me rather than being repulsed by me. My starting point though was that I stopped measuring my worth by what others thought of me and decided to live a life that I could be proud of for myself.

On Vision: If you want to work on your life vision, I highly recommend the book Do What Matters Most by Rob and Steve Shallenberger. It’s very useful and practical guide to developing and implementing your mission and vision.

@samsprague3158

4 ай бұрын

Thank you, I think this is the area oí struggle with the most.

Back in January this year, (almost 1 year at this point, OMG!) I started a family business. One of the pillars for the company was the philosophy philosophy of "creating value for others, and uplifting ourselves and others". It's been really exciting to be along for the journey thus far!

@torom86

4 ай бұрын

This is beautiful. Most companies just focus on creating value for themselves, often trying to get the maximum benefit by giving the minimum value. This world needs more people who find more accomplishment in offering quality than making money. Of course making money is not bad, when it comes from having actually provided real value.

@Windermed

3 ай бұрын

please do not lose sight of your businesses philosophy as time goes on. I know that it’s a common thing that businesses that grow tend to forget their company’s main philosophy.

For me charisma is the ability to a another person and make them feel that you understand them. And you have the ability to use and make sentences that are easy for the person to understand and kind of suprise them with your anwsers and explanations. I havemt watched this video trough but this is my watered down definition in my head at this moment. Edit: i put my toughts after this video in the reply and its a long one.

@mr-shadi

4 ай бұрын

Woah i watched this video trough and woah. I am very happy that i have a vision. My vision is to live a active and suprising life. I want to do a lot of things and try things that some people think are taboo. I have tought about this stuff in different circumstances and gotten the anwsers im so suprised that my toughts are connecting to everything. That wasnt the best frasing but itl do and i hope it gets understood. Now aboit authenticity. I have started to explain everything i say to make people understand things my way. If i use common, no broad words and explanations people put my word meanings together differently rhan what i am saying. And they get the wrong idea about what i say. The compassion authenticity is a wierd thing for me. I have a friend who is a bit annoying/toxic and i have told him that he is it. With the intention to make him self analyze and make him think about "everything". And last the communication style i like to explain and go "deep" in to conversation to get the other person to communicate openly and use "rare" words to explain what they mean. I want to feel proud of myself for opening the eyes of my friends. I have had deep conversations and they have told me that wtf did i do bc they are thinking completly diffrently. One of my as i think of it flaw is when i think about this stuff i feel like a narcissist or egoist but i hope im wrong. Please excuse my writing i am riding a train and im on my phone, it aint easy, also english isnt my first language.

@akospapanitz8390

4 ай бұрын

​@@mr-shadiI think compassion will come as you get older. For me it was very familiar. Honesty was my "vision", and I was too honest and straightforward with a few friends who turned out to be insecure (which I didn't think about back then cuz ofc they veiled it, as it common with insecurities). So I've ended up indirectly hurting them. After that I asked them about their points of view and done some thinking. Now I'm only honest to the extent that it's beneficial to my friends. (So when I'm thinking about what to say or not, I'm thinking about if it's beneficial for them to know my point of view or it'll just make them worry or give up etc.) So it kinda lines up with compassion. (sidenote: my vision became making the world a better place through my surroundings, so like being kind, inspirational, welcoming to others, being compassionate, noncompetitive where it is not necessary, and being aware about the bigger (societal) consequences of my actions (like who I should vote for in elections, or what are the premises in climate change problems, or what are the consequences of the large scale popularity of social media and digitalisation (aka many people believe the hateful bs that random tiktokers say)))

@chrisjfox8715

4 ай бұрын

I think people feeling understood sell charisma incredibly short. Some of the most captivating and engaging conversations you can have with someone is when there's enough difference in understanding to feel compelled to bridge that divide... Not in a contentious way, just the key being that each other's vibe being comfortable enough that that person is genuinely interested in understanding where you're coming from, yet feels heard enough by you that they feel comfortable in opening up to you with their genuine thoughts and feelings about things

writing down my ideas of like random things has been a huge help in actually doing those things and has made me turn from a reactive person to an active person. writing things down is so powerful for your brain like idk what it is about it

Thank you so much, Dr. K. When you were talking about vision, it seems to be identical with the concept of authentic pride, as opposed to hubristic pride. For the last 4 days I've been trying to understand these concepts and relating them to self-worth, and I think I finally grasp them.

Writing things out helps so much. I always end up realizing where or what I'm missing, or how I can change points of view. What I would like to know is how we can be compassionate towards people when their behavior becomes a nuisance. I always get stuck on how far can I go with telling it like it is, and compassion.

So, something about Vision. Vision requires hope. And it's hard to have vision if there is no hope. Regarding communication. When I was younger, middle school, and even some into high school, my communication skills weren't that great. But then I wound up spending a long time talking to myself, though I did a lot of it as though I were teaching a class. Unless working through a problem or complicated issues with myself. I was my own therapist in a lot of ways. This really built that skillset over time. I'm also a writer and have been for 20+ years. I occasionally journal and get my thoughts down on paper. But I write fiction, and the occasional essay or article, over various subjects. Stuff I know a lot about or am passionate about. And then there's all the conversations I've had over the years, especially in text/written form. I'd like to think that this has really built my communication skills over time. I've spent a long time focusing on truth. And yeah, I was an asshole about it back in the day. I try not to be now, and like Dr K says, lead with compassion. The truth can be a weapon, but it doesn't have to be. It should be used for the better. Honesty and integrity are very important. I know I don't always get it right, but I try. And when I don't I do try to do better. I do try to reach for empathy and compassion where I can. I guess these factors are why people seem drawn to me. Which I just don't understand. I have friends of mine who have told me that I make making friends look easy. Or that I just draw people in left and right. That I can just light up a room. And I'm like... I don't really see it. But I guess clarifies things some more.

@chrisjfox8715

4 ай бұрын

"And it's hard to have vision when there is no hope." 1. He never said it would be easy. The aim towards developing it is still more effective than sitting back doing nothing. 2. Then develop a different vision that's most effective for you.

That part about forming a vision being hard due to the world falling apart is so spot on. I'm right now working on that and I've removed from my feed most sources of information about the world because it only makes me feel hopeless about the future.

Can confirm. I have always been naturally very attractive (according to most anyway) as well as highly intelligent, and yet I have never been described as or treated as charismatic. Too awkward, too traumatized, too dishonest (with myself mostly but others too). I've always struggled to make friends or date quality people, and it's made my life incredibly difficult and lonely despite having what most would consider the "ultimate advantages." So take me as living proof that being beautiful or smart doesn't mean shit without a solid foundation of the things he talks about here. Which can always be developed.

@Saujas

25 күн бұрын

Confidence right?

You have inspired me and my life is turning to the better because I am practicing so I know what you are saying is authentic and true as it can be!

This topic is fascinating to me. I always knew I was not the prettiest boy, but when I saw others I always wondered why they were able to attract people, especially girls, and why I couldn’t. I always knew I lacked something, and I feel it is what Dr. K is talking about. I wish I had charisma, because I know that physical attractiveness doesn't do all, I can see that every day.

Somewhere in my life I have lost something and I did not really know what. Now I know not only what it is but when it happened and what I can do to even help it grow. Developing charisma seems insignificant now, but I have recovered my vision instead. A simple thank you is not enough, but I can not think of better words. Thank you, Dr. K.

I absolutely LOVED the part about learning how to cultivate your own VISION for life and then sticking to the vision and creating it. The second part about writing and refining your thoughts and ideas before speaking them is absolutely brilliant too and very inspiring. I love this quote: “Think before you speak - does what you say improve upon the silence?” This is such an important video! 😊

Dang now I want a whole video on vision for life. Great video Dr. K. :)

that bit about strategic thinking is so good actually, that's what i've always felt, i can think and make good decisions when it involves anything other than my own real life. i'm basically making decisions all day long but leave the acting upon those to others while i stand at the sidelines, because i know my executive functions are messed up and i'll just get stressed and disappointed when i try to do something. yeah i think everything i struggle with ultimately boils down to having poor executive functions in certain ways but not in others. i can't trust my brain to do what it has to do, when i want or when it has to happen, at a fixed place and time. eventually i get things done, but i'll have taken an enormous detour and gone on 5 10 mile hikes before i finally walk down the road so to speak. the reason for being so apprehensive to just go out and walk down the road is often just the fact that there are lots of other people on there as well and i can't deal with that, so either i ignore all of them or i get fixated on specific people and never make it to the destination. in the meantime i'll have missed all the other stuff happening around me, all because i cannot for the life of me distribute my attention properly when i'm out and about. most of the time it just feels like i'm a passenger in my own head and i can only hope that the driver doesn't do anything stupid or crash into anything. then the moments i do regain control over the steering wheel, i suddenly realize how fucked up the car has gotten, and that the driver is completely incompetent, but before i can do anything about it i'm forced back into the passenger seat without knowing why or how. i can get a feel for where the car is likely gonna go next, but i can't ever be entirely confident, because too often it's just done a random u-turn, or swerved into the guard rails out of nowhere. i'm constantly on edge because of this, and don't allow myself to make a fool of myself by being the way i am around other people anymore. and i know i can drive, i've actually gotten my literal license, but i always feel that's only because i had a good day once, and i'm not like that consistently enough to be able to go on the road whenever i need or want to. also real life has real consequences, like death, and i don't think i wanna die just yet. too often i've heard of people having their life destroyed or actually dying because of a single bad decision or inattentive moment, and if i'm gonna be around for the long haul i at least want to have every part of me as intact as i possibly can.

@KingButcher

4 ай бұрын

nice comment

@DAR0k88

4 ай бұрын

There are 3 steps to doing anything. It's also how AI is trained to do stuff. Step 1 - Feed in more data/references/examples. (Learning) Step 2 - Focus on the reward that will come from doing that thing. (Reward) Step 3 - Create a 3-step (or multi-step) process to reach that reward. (Process) I find that we all have large goals, but because we believe we just need to do it, like it's some kind of button press, we end up wondering why nothing is happening and we find ourselves instead looking around and getting distracted by little squirrels or birds that randomly fly by. It looks more like a set of stairs. A staircase is broken down into individual steps, and if there is a bread crumb or gold coin (reward) on each step, you will eventually find yourself at the top.

@KatiPK.P.

Ай бұрын

I hope you see this. Study up on Self-Abandonment. Your reasons for not focusing on yourself and focusing on the external (i.e. others) was a survival mechanism developed in childhood. It wasn't safe to be yourself and to express your needs and get them met. It was safer to attend to others and to supress your true authentic self. "Safe" in terms of literal safety concerns, but it could also mean your caregivers responded to you better when you "acted a certain way" and suppress certain parts of yourself. You learned to not full trust and accept yourself. But you can now learn you matter - all parts of you. Learn to accept all parts of you, rebuild trusting yourself, forgive yourself for the times you abandoned yourself and understand it was to survive, and learn to show up authentically. Godspeed in your healing in journey of Life.

I appreciate your emphasis on developing a positive vision for my life. I think I had a strong sense of that a few years ago and sort of took it for granted to the point where now I need that reminder of, yes, I do have overall visions. Getting back in touch with that has an effect of simplifying everything. I feel less scattered and confused and more confident when speaking when I remind myself that, yes, I do actually have a vision of myself. It definitely makes me more relaxed. Thanks for the reminder!

This is the first channel for which I am going to press the bell icon. Thank you very much for the video.

I've been binge watching your content for the last 4 days lol. Your work is amazing! You remind me of my therapist and how she was working with me when we began therapy back in 2018. Super compassionate and explains LIFE in a whole new way. Still on the journey to regaining my full confident self since I've had a rough 4-5 year window of rebuilding myself but damn do I miss the charismatic parts of myself. My main goal for 2024 is to get it out there again and start living the life that's in my head and enjoy the sh*t out of everything life gives me. Dr. K. You're amazing. I've watched podcasts, interviews, everything your work has to offer and it just came at the right time.

@h3xam584

4 ай бұрын

you got this man! set clear visions and you'll feel 10000 times better

It sounds like I’m half way there. I write all the time and I aspire to many things. This video looks like the puzzle piece I’ve been missing for a while lol.

10/10 the most helpful video I’ve seen so far. I’ve been struggling with this for a while. Thank you, Dr. K❤

He is really passionate about his work I see his happiness

writing actually works well for me, I'm currently trying to convince my school faculty on ways to reduce bullying and improving mental health. but thats easier said than done especially when they don't fully trust me, it has been a 2 year long journey and I'm just now seeing progress. A part of it is me starting to write my thoughts in these half done essays, and even though those essays are shit af it actually helped me to communicate my thoughts in a better way.

@samanthakim5035

4 ай бұрын

Rooting for you

Thanks! Great timing

Honestly this runs almost 180 of my experience. Like...yes distraction (not thinking about my issues) makes me less stressed/depressed/anxious. But even at my best i worked and worked and worked to improve my circumstances and failed because the current situation in the world is so screwed i could never get ahead of the curve. Regardless of how zen i can make myself in the moment it doesn't mean anything when long term i am trapped at a "barely getting by" level of life

Loved the Video. My fav part was the Vision topic. A deep dive would be really great, especially now in regards to the upcoming new years resolutions.

In an abstract and simplified way, you could say that the source of charisma - at least the kind of charisma that makes you attractive - is rooted in self-confidence. There are a million different ways to exude confidence, but i think it is important to develop yourself to a point where your self image is at least at a net-positive. Personally, i imagine my confidence comes from just being analytical and not parroting what other people think, but also not being afraid to change my mind and admit when i'm wrong (work in progress, that one). I have heard from friends that they are sometimes exhausted by speaking to me, because of how uncompromisingly analytical i am, and how i can never just "small talk", or "let things rest". The same people have also commented that after a while of not hanging out, they missed speaking to me, because "most conversations feel very superficial". As a guy with autism who has huge issues socializing, i see this as an absolute win: People can hang out with me until they can no longer bare the constant bombardment of thoughts, feelings and ideas with no regard for their own mental state. Then, when they've had enough, they can go back to their own life, until they need another fix of "pessimistic, existentialist absurdism".

In my experience having a goal was fundamental. Let me explain: I wasnt really happy with some things that went on in my Life and I said fuck it, I will do my best to Change it for good. But i needed to have a goal in mind to know when i was doing good and when i had to Change behaviour. I always required a logical thinking behind my Actions, even not planning something out is a weighted choice. After shift in mind, my 2023 was probably the best year I lived! Maybe I incorporated Vision without knowing, but the final goal (that nobody could say if I would ever achieve in the First place) was what kept me motivated. I watched a ton of RP, BP and other manosphere content, but I had goals in many aspects of my Life and step by step i made progress in all of those. Just my experience as I said, hope you will have a great 2024 and if you think you wont have one, my advice is do the best you can to Change what you dont Like or would like to see an improvement upon

@HealthyGamerGG Thanks for the tips! “Daily Practices to +2 Your Charisma” Love IT!

It’s wild how Dr K puts out the videos I need exactly when I need them.

The most important thing to understand in life is that no one ows you anything by default, not even life. Everything we think we do is taught to us, either directly or indirect, from others and a combination of ourselves or just by ourselves doing something completely without anyone else's input and perspective on it, especially in the very begging of our lives. We have to realize that most expectations we have should never be guaranteed and to not place value to them, because they don't it fails, it backfires and it takes us down if we do.

@darrensucksatgames

4 ай бұрын

This one is huge. If you start as this being the default, every measure of effectiveness seems to go up even other people’s receptiveness of what you’re doing.

@Windermed

3 ай бұрын

agreed. i think this reminder has helped me allow myself to let go of so many things that were holding me back. I try to tell myself that nothing is guaranteed in life and that both bad and good things will happen throughout my life. but what is important is to always focus on the bright side of things, of course. don’t just flat out deny the negative as well. just let the positive refute the negative and do your best to focus on your positivity. our minds already unintentionally seek the negative all the time as we’re constantly trying to please our confirmation biases, so adding more negativity isn’t going to make things better.

@darrensucksatgames

3 ай бұрын

@@Windermed And consider this too, things DO suck sometimes, but if you push forward and deal with it, regardless of how long or how hard it was, you just proved you can handle things even when it’s not easy. You keep doing that and you get used to it, and the bar for suck only diminishes more and more with time.

@krox477

3 ай бұрын

You realised Buddha man

@amazinggrapes3045

Ай бұрын

People owe each other basic respect and those in power owe those they have power over

“Who will marry you if you are living a life of art and beauty?” absolutely sent me 😂 As a single woman I would like to state for the record that an average-looking guy who has basic life skills and a bit of confidence is really all I’m asking for. If he puts on cat ears I’m his

@Hatchet-TK

4 ай бұрын

As a man who wears cat ears sorry I'm already taken. 😅

@LanPodder

4 ай бұрын

"I dont want a funny, good looking, well trained, successful man. I just want you ❤"

@resir9807

4 ай бұрын

Sorry, I'm more of a dog person

@BlackMita

4 ай бұрын

sus

@infernaldarklord

4 ай бұрын

I'm done with catboys, bring me a cat man!

This had so many nuggets of information I had to watch twice lol Another great video 😊 I love the ending.. "Now go do it! "

This genuinely may be okenof the most valuable videow ive ever watched, thankyou.

One thing that helped me a lot with being authentic in a useful way was nonviolent communication. It can be really instructive. (But I learn through the original book. I’ve heard there are terrible “trainings out there.”)

Regarding "vision and the world is falling apart" The world has ALWAYS been falling apart. IS ALWAYS falling apart. All peace we have experienced through most of history has been bubbled that existed between all sorts of drama and conflict. So making a promise to yourself to ONLY plan for tomorrows when things settle down is a recipe for unhappiness. Our ancestors survived wars, plagues, invasions, corrupt governments, famines, starvation, and battled nature to survive. They found partners, made families, persisted, and flourished. We now live in a time with a level of infrastructure providing an abundance that would have been afforded to KINGS in times past. And people will still complain about things being too hard. So the world "falling apart" is a perspective problem, not a life problem. And once you learn to think outside of your own immediate desires and feelings, you also learn that you can be stuck dead center in a trash situation that sucks, and still have a plan for both how to get out of it, AND what you'll DO once you are out of it. Always be working for that better tomorrow.

Doctor K is trailing my life just 2 days after me. What I find hilarious is that I learned this and started doing this literally about a week ago.

I should have to pay to watch/hear you speak, you're slowly helping me change my life. Thank you sir!

Tbh I feel like I've gotten a lot of the same effects he's describing about writing from talking to myself; I've done it forever, and I really think it helps me be a lot more articulate sometimes.

You're welcome: 00:00 🌟 Understanding Charisma Beyond Physical Attractiveness Charisma is not solely tied to physical attractiveness, comprising six dimensions. Three key attributes of charisma hold more significance than physical attractiveness: communication skills, honesty/reliability, inspiring admiration. Physical attractiveness accounts for only 10.5% of charisma; the remaining components are more vital. 03:39 🎯 Developing Charisma through Vision and Implementation Vision and its implementation play a significant role in fostering charisma. Vision isn't about achieving goals but embodies the direction and ideals for one's life. Society's structures, like schools, often hinder the development of personal vision. 08:31 🌌 Steps for Vision Implementation Vision implementation involves clarification of ideals, structuring processes (when, where, how), and strategic thinking amid setbacks. Shift focus from specific goals to a broader ideal, outlining the approach rather than just the end result. Strategic thinking involves navigating obstacles while consistently moving toward one's vision. 13:14 💬 Communication Style and Authenticity in Charisma Authenticity is pivotal for charisma, fostering trust in a society characterized by deceit. Being authentically oneself, tempered with compassion, draws others closer. Combining authenticity with a communication style that values compassion over radical honesty is crucial for interpersonal connections. 19:32 🔍 Vision and Authenticity Developing authenticity and compassion. Importance of clarifying and implementing a vision. Balancing authenticity while tempering with compassion. 20:01 🗨 Communication Style and Clarity Emphasizing the significance of clear communication. Techniques involving writing to enhance communication skills. The impact of writing on clarifying thoughts before verbalization. 21:40 📝 Writing as a Tool for Clarity The practice of writing to organize and clarify thoughts. Utilizing writing to sound more competent in verbal communication. Clarifying thoughts through writing, improving the quality of conversation. 24:14 🌟 Key Elementsfor Improved Charisma Vision, authenticity, implementation, and communication as pillars for enhanced charisma. Attainable strategies to increase charisma by focusing on controllable factors. Charisma enhancement not solely reliant on physical appearance but on behavior and communication skills.

@Neonb88

3 ай бұрын

Very helpful

Totally agree with writing things out. That's what I am doing now while learning programming. By writing things out in my own word, I get to know what I don't understand and make me learn more. ❤

writing helps sooo much, its improved my communication and ability to connect with others immensely

What do you think about Olivia Fox Cabane's book "The Charisma Myth" that highlights the three key components of charisma as "Power" Warmth" and "Presence" derived from the standpoint of charismatic leaders? Would love to hear your take on these three parameters and what you think about the research on them!

@og_danksouls7822

4 ай бұрын

I recently read the book. I think it's great! I haven't read much beyond this book about charisma so I don't have any other perspectives to draw on. What other books have you read?

@The_Reductionist

4 ай бұрын

@@og_danksouls7822 If you're looking for charisma content - we shouldn't overlook charisma on command youtube channel, charisma university video course, and a book written by the creator of both (cant remember the book name - but the author is called Charlie Houpert)

@diplomatamaravilhosa2813

4 ай бұрын

I know people who are very charismatic and they have nothing to do with leaders, they are just in tune with the love inside themselves

I struggle to share vision because I'm afraid to put myself out there and tell everyone what im working so hard towards but falling short of. Its easier to share it after a success.

@samanthakim5035

4 ай бұрын

Pre-mature success It's great that you held back

Wonderful Video! I just want to add that communication can be nonverbal! A lot of charismatic individuals are excellent at using their bodies convey their emotions, Dr. K included. You can see how his hands move and eyes light up when he's hammering home a point.

Thank you for this video. I needed this as I used to struggle with developing charisma. Appreciate the efforts that you did and the execution of this video. Brilliant.

You opened my eyes. I have ADHD, Borderline and high IQ which is why it never got diagnosed (I can function). I never knew how "broken" I was or how to perceive and view the world in healthy terms. I am extremely grateful for your content. You cannot imagine how much you have opened my eyes. I feel like I am waking up from a 30year long slumber. I am recontexualising all my previous experiences, behaviours and everything. It's very hard, very much and probably very much worth it. Thank you, "Dr. K". Love. You have a very pleasant voice by the way and I think you are a great human being. You appear to be so.

Some people are naturally charismatic, they are often not that good people and use it to take advantage of others, think of the sleazy salesman stereotype kind of person. They are able to win people and they are well liked in exchange but they only want to use other for their own benefit.

@dmystfy

4 ай бұрын

That’s not always true. Naturally charismatic people can also be very kind bc of how well they’re treated.

You’ve changed my life

Good video, definitely going to review it

Thank you doctor k. You have helped me tremendously during these past years. My vision is close to being realized and a huge part of it is thanks to your educational content.

Authenticity in service to compassion is a great idea! I can't think of a better way to express the type of authenticity I aim for.

The ending made me laugh so hard, thanks for everything Dr.K

My autism actually helped me with the vision stuff. I decided with 16 what I would like to do based on a special interest, and am finishing my PhD thesis atm. It's a "useless" field, but I love it. It helps me stay sane in these times.

@SuspiriaX

4 ай бұрын

Useless PhD's huh.. That reminds me of a philosophical essay on the theme of "Nothing".

@user-ey5xw2nx9s

4 ай бұрын

​@@SuspiriaX But the category of "Nothing" is pretty interesting, ngl

I feel really blessed to have discovered your channel along with your obvious charisma (it’s pumping, dude!) and expert knowledge and insights (this Beauty and Art stuff hits hard as I’m driven by aesthetics to the utmost extreme!) and your head of hair - I actually get distracted by it once in a while thinking maybe I should let my pixie crop grow slightly longer (though maybe not, it suits me well😅) Keep up the ripples on the water thing! They are reaching far❤

This is such a well put together video damn. Good shit

In my opinion the most important aspect of charisma is just to show that you like and respect other people, and body language and smile is perhaps the most important as it's the most effective way of communicating emotions. If you show a little interest in people, give them some attention, though not too intensely, that goes a long way, but also show you actually enjoy talking to them, not that you are doing it out of obligation or pity. Being likeable is important for charisma, but the main thing that makes you likeable is that you like other people, and show it. But it does have to come from a place of authenticity, if they get the impression you are just talking or being nice to them to get something back, that can cause distrust, as they aren't sure what you really feel. This is part of why confident people tend to come off as more charismatic, people are less likely to second guess their "nice" behavior. You also can't be very nice to people you actually don't like, that is not authentic, but you can still treat them with respect, don't punish people because you don't like them. Respect doesn't mean you can't criticize other people for their behavior, it's about how you criticize them. For example, instead of just telling someone they are an asshole, point out negative consequences of their behavior or how their behavior makes other people perceive them. Most of the behavior that makes people less likable is due to inner insecurities, or lacking healthy ways to deal with negative emotions. Of course, you can't never have negative emotions, and getting rid of insecurities is a very long process, and it's not realistic to expect being able to overcome all. The important thing is to find ways of dealing with them that doesn't make you less likeable. Suppressing them often doesn't work in the long run, it will likely come out in other, more subtle ways, ways that often can be hard to link to the negative emotions, making it harder to understand why. Not trying too hard to hide insecurities is important, as hiding them can make you seem less authentic, and it can make you behave in ways that are hard for people to understand when they don't know your emotional state. But you also don't want to make other people suffer from them, don't guilt them or make it their responsibility to fix you. Jealousy, for example, can be one of the toughest to deal with, as it's almost impossible to show it or be honest about it in a way that doesn't make you less likeable. It's one you have to deal with alone. What you can do is to do a lot of introspection to try and understand where the jealousy is coming from. Not showing jealousy doesn't mean suppressing it, it means not letting it control your behavior. As Dr. K talked about, writing about it can help you understand the emotional triggers. Finding phrases or sentences you can tell yourself is one mental "hack" that can be efficient. It can for example be telling yourself that this emotional reaction is not logical, it's telling me things that are false. Doing this is like one part of your brain communicating with another part, helping the part responsible for the emotion correct itself. You shouldn't shame or punish yourself for the emotions, it's just about reminding yourself.

@capironi9277

2 ай бұрын

Gyattt

I think charisma is healthy confidence. You feel well enough in your skin to not be defensive. I claim it is a kind of knowledge to some extent

Yet the way you handled not knowing what to say, with authenticity and confidence. That's charismatic as heck

Just discovered you and I have to say I’ve been listening since this is amazing stuff

That parent rant freestyle routine is hilarious. Please more of that, Dr.

@dericflairmultiverse4952

4 ай бұрын

Dr K deserves an Oscar

@TooTRUEtoBeG00D

4 ай бұрын

@@dericflairmultiverse4952 Oscar deserves Dr. K

@oz_jones

Ай бұрын

@@TooTRUEtoBeG00D We all deserve Dr K., not just Oscars, Odies, Orvilles and OJs.

I have always thought charisma was defined as one’s ability to create a rapport with others almost instantly. Never thought of it as being dominated by looks.

In my mind, the two host charismatic things anyone can have are two things: passion, and proficiency. In a way, the two support each other. When you have enough passion to become really good at something, and are willing and able to share that passion with me, I'm going to like you a lot.

This is awesome

People say I have Charisma, but ONLY in the modern setting I will explain, so back in my era when I was younger, I was not great with friends, got manipulated, got a few bullies, but when I started to find gaming friends in Ancient EverQuest in 1999, more I interacted, better I got, did raiding and grouping Now fast foward to 2023, people say, I am very welcoming and confident and for me it is my background and era some. Now days, even though internet has highly evolved everyone interacts in a different way When was in early EQ, I had to develope social, work as a team, etc... ONLY thing I can think of why I am might have Charsima, but honestly Charisma compliment freaks me out. I always learned it was a negative or a bad thing =/

@paulgoogol2652

4 ай бұрын

Oh crêpe. Didn't know it can go below 0.

@oz_jones

Ай бұрын

Everquest... now there's a name i havent heard in years.

Dang this makes sense! Especially writing thoughts or out before presenting makes mashups of thoughts that seemed so clear before they leave our heads... But after reading them we realize this isn't always so, especially in the context of the entire conversation.

I do a good amount of writing and I feel it helps me get a better grip of my emotional state as well as help with communication. I'd love a video on your writing as it might help others and maybe you can provide some additional tips to those who already write

In my experience all charismatic people always had some dominance and powerful aura to them. But people are unlikely to put on a questionnaire that those traits weigh heavy when deciding if someone is charismatic. Because dominance is quite stigmatized especially among women.

@mattynotfatty

4 ай бұрын

I get what you mean but I disagree. The feeling of “dominance” those people give in my opinion is from them being confident in reaching their goals and comfortable with people doing their thing. You can’t touch them because they’re confident. That’s the dominance you feel.

@DivineLogos

4 ай бұрын

@@mattynotfatty Not only that but they also usually stand for their truth and say what they feel is true even if it might offend others. This pursuit of truth in the face of potential social rejection and upset responses is what makes them seem dominant to me. They got a strong frame(view of reality).

@mattynotfatty

4 ай бұрын

@@DivineLogos Yeah I would say that is confidence, a strong view on their own reality might even just be what confidence is. Or arrogance if it has no foundation.

@DivineLogos

4 ай бұрын

@@mattynotfatty The stronger frame dominates the weaker frame and what usually happens is that the more submissive person starts frame matching. Submissive person: I don't like cars Dominant person: I love cars Submissive person: Yeah some cars are nice. ( frame matching ) This happens in almost any interaction. The most confident person is usually also the most dominant one and vice versa. So the traits kind of go hand in hand. So our discussion is semantics.

@davidaugustofc2574

2 ай бұрын

​@@DivineLogos I believe his point is that confidence is a skill while dominance sounds like a trait. You can learn to still dislike cars even if half of the world around you loves them.

i wouldn't say being attractive makes you more charismatic per se, since they kind of operate on different axes. It's moreso that positive qualities boost the effects of each other. People are far more likely to remember that you were charismatic if you were also generous, attractive, helpful, etc.

@inquisitionagent9052

4 ай бұрын

Good ol halo effect

I have come to understand charisma as a combination of warmth, presence, and authority. To have charisma, you have to be in tune with your emotions and that of others, you have to be present in the moment you exist in and not in your head, and you have to exercises confidence in your knowledge, ability, and status. I write this before watching to see if that changes at all.

For sure with the writing it out and doing the thinking beforehand. It is basically preparation. Don't be unprepared. Also important for those times when emotions are clouding your thoughts, as they will absolutely influence your communication. The positive stuff will be more gushy, while the negative stuff will be much harsher and darker. Complaining to that manager (for example) right then and there will usually be all negative and upset. Instead: accept the situation in the moment - write the complaint out later - and then sleep on it - and then rewrite it properly/objectively when not so clouded.

I like how he highlights vision as an important trait, thats often skipped in other explanations. And the hardest part to cultivate. Anyone reading this, get some substantial goals in your life, cultivate VISION.

This whole video is just telling me to be more like Luffy from One Piece. Apparently Luffy is the master of charisma.

Thank you for your creative perspective ❤🙏🏻

This video is so good. It had source material, it had good examples!

Todo lo que dices hace sentido!

@benjaminj4535

4 ай бұрын

Siempre

@lorenzovelasque3668

4 ай бұрын

Si, me ayudo mucho y casi cada vez hace mucho sentido lo que dice

@Atomas69

4 ай бұрын

como entienden lo que dice?

@vann3r

4 ай бұрын

@@Atomas69 Como que como?

@di3486

4 ай бұрын

@@Atomas69soy bilingüe?

What you said is something I've been resenting lately: that being authentic is stupid and gets you punished. It makes me so frustrated that society is that way but I have no idea what to do about it other than join in the deception so I can get a job, etc.

@RuudAwakening

4 ай бұрын

Yeah I felt off on those parts, I believe coming from personal frame and life experiences of Dr K I for one am lucky to have a worldview veeeeeery far from that. I got good people around me; friends family colleagues sportmembers, all are people with a positive look on life and making the best out of what you’re given Partly thanks to living in The Netherlands, very safe wealthy place to live Which can help give birth to two hope-giving thoughts: 1. Not everywhere is shit and not for everyone the same. So different exists, is possible. (Not saying within same easy grasp for everyone equally, but it is out there) 2. Authenticity helps move toward the right environment, the right life(style). If you think & feel & speak & act the way is authentic to who you want to be, the world will respond. Those who respond poorly in your taste, are not the people/environment you want to be or stay in, those who respond like “hey we match!” are directions and opportunities to gather more of. Paving a path towards what you’d want to get to. Soon, eventually or right now.

@jeffmadmastermind3907

4 ай бұрын

I'm on the same boat. Usually I try to connect to people that enjoy the kind of person I am, I try to be honest with myself and the ppl around me are the ones that accept me. It gives me peace that I dont have to use masks and pretend to be something else. Not everyone is ready to accept themselves, so I try to understand and respect that.

@chrisjfox8715

4 ай бұрын

Whoever rejects you for being your authentic self just isn't the right person for you. Don't let that resentment destroy you because fact is, you're not gonna be right for everyone you meet in life and that's okay. A small core group of close friends that see you is more important than a multitude of acquaintances you tap dance for yet don't even know who you are.

@YoonchiYa

4 ай бұрын

@@chrisjfox8715 I totally agree. I think the most frustrating thing is society. I have to be a completely different person to compete in the job market, and also things like dating where many people act like a boring perfect version of themselves.

@mattynotfatty

4 ай бұрын

That could either mean that people don’t like your way of looking at things or the people around you really hate being disagreed with. That’s what I think at least.

absolutely there have been teachers and friends who were very charismatic And one case that I can never forget is this boy in my brother's class ..he was the fattest kid but he was so social , filled with mannerism even the ones who were naive , bullying and yk kinda reckless would fall to their knees He transcended horizons😂 honestly like every kind of person would atleast try to listen him once ..it was the miraculous thing ..he is now doing bsc in organic chemistry I hope he is still like that Like he was pretentious at times but still you can't ignore him .