My father met my mom when my brother was 1 years old. His bio dad left because my brother was born disabled and had to have a shunt and alot of surgeries😢. My dad literally took my brother as his own and raised him. My father ended up with prostate cancer and my older brother who was doing phenomenal, in college and living a healthy life TOOK OFF FROM school to help my mom care for my then dieing father. They loved each other regardless of DNA. That was his father. It takes alot more then blood to be a father

@ghosttemplar6989

Жыл бұрын

Your reality but we both know that is a rare case these days ma'am.

@anthaines8465

Жыл бұрын

Your dad sounded like he done an amazing job, and it showed in how your brother returned his love for him, god bless your father

I was a step dad at one point and I can’t say I enjoyed it. It just didn’t feel real, I felt like a replacement dad who would never connect fully with the kid. I loved him and didn’t mind him at all but I would always be second priority. I was too young and immature to accept that. We couldn’t really go on dates and just do things normal couples do. Idk it’s just not for me but some people love it.

@anthaines8465

Жыл бұрын

Its tough for sure, i still get those feelings like you say here, but no one can really ever replace that biological feeling so you have to learn to accept that and it is hard because no matter what you do, you always have to see the child like my dad this my dad that etc etc and it is hard, but until they get older and more appreciative and understanding only then do they realise what you actual done/ do for them! You have to remember no matter how shit their biological father may or may not be its their biological father, i think there definitely needs to be more education for people who are going to be step fathers as until you are one you never know what its like and not much is said about it! I find the difficult thing is where you have your own ideas as a parent and try and implement them and the change that brings is very difficult as usually the mother has her ways and has been the mum and dad kind of thing, but if you really love someone you are in it for the long haul! I wouldnt say i love it like where you say (some people love it) but i love my partner and they are her kids so i accept that and work through our challenges! My step daughter is now 15 and ive known her since she was 5, its tougher now as she has her own ideas but she still goes to her dads on weekends and comes home saying i find it so much easier to talk to you, you know me much better than my dad and to me, that says i must be doing something right! I also get you on the going on dates and stuff which we couldnt do often but you just make time for eachother at home, date nights, movie night. As i say people should be better educated around this because it just doesnt effect the potential step dad, it can effect the kids because the potential step dad could make such an impression on the child/children and then not cope with the relationship so they are left broken too! Its a tough subject for sure

Stepdad for fifteen years to two daughters. My son come along 2 years into the relationship and everything was great. Until I got sick and basically dropped by my ex and the 2 kids that I had raised for 15 years. The struggle I have to keep a relationship with my son is unbelievable. The arguments it causes are ridiculous! My advice to anyone is to be extemely careful because it can cost you a fortune and come back and bite you in the arse!!!

This is bullshit man! If you get with someone with a kid it becomes your responsibility! Your family too! Im a step dad myself and its tough but i have never felt anything like you explain here, its more difficult to bond sometimes but if your invested in your partner you learn to grow together! The key is communication! Talk to eachother! Express your feelings! Any man can make a baby! Not every man is a dad! And sometimes its not because they dont want to either, the mother can make things difficult! But i really don't agree with your ideas here, although i see your points of view

@Lightbarer6

Жыл бұрын

Simp mode activated

@warprimeminister

Жыл бұрын

Whole fact.

@ghosttemplar6989

Жыл бұрын

Here hold this 🎻

Truth

🙋🏾‍♂️ The first you ain't my dad comment, they're all out the house. Nope stay away from single mothers.

The problem isn't the man when it comes to wanting to be a father, the problem comes in if the woman would allow him to be the father otherwise you as man will just be taking care of two kids...that being the mother herself and the child and you are just there as a ATM machine.

Before dating: treat the kid like they’re yours. Okay, of course. Spend YEARS together, break up while the kid is still a minor. You want to see this kid you’ve naturally developed a bond with, and the mom hits you with “why are you coming around, that’s not your kid.” 🤡 There are zero benefits to being a step-dad and investing emotionally/financially into someone’s kid. Put the energy into your nieces/nephews or your own kids. Don’t date single moms unless the kid is almost out of the house.